Fuccinjas - JAaS!

my heart goes out to anyone who was made to feel stupid for caring too much. anyone who was laughed at or "cringed" at for being themselves. anyone who cried silently so they don't be a burden. anyone whose love was taken for granted. anyone who feels unsafe in their own bodies. to anyone who felt devastated because others failed to be humane enough. it's not you, it's them. i hope you find a way to love yourself again. you're not alone. you're important.

i said a swear once and next thing you know i was doing meth

Yo ask me shit talk to me but don’t message me lol but send anonymous bullshit and submit pics I wanna see who’s following me and your beautiful drugs/ clouds and glass pieces lol

I know how to be a drug addict, self destruction is familiar so in a fucked up way it’s comforting to me. Recovery and sobritey are new, a whole new way of living and honestly it fucking terrfies me because I’m afraid i wont be able to maintain it.. What if i fuck everything up again?

Excerpt from my journal 6-11-19

I broke his heart

A poem written by my 20-year-old brother. He wrote this when I was still in active addiction:

Once you get on your shit, don’t slip. Maintain.

When you’re feeling blue

Suicide IV (1982) by Paul Rebeyrolle

PWUDS COMPREHENSIVE GUIDE TO COVID19

1) DON’T SHARE pipe, bongs, vapes or joints, nasal tubes (for inhaling/snorting)’ and all injection equipment (including sterilized water)

2) If you’ve got the money, try to STOCK UP on your drugs of choice before tings deteriorate much further.

3) If you are a client of drug substitution programs (ie: OTP, MAT, OBOT, methadone, bupe, stims, marijuana, etc.) and particularly if you have a pre-existing condition that makes you vulnerable to infection, ask your doctor if you can GET A 3 MONTH TAKE HOME PRESCRIPTION (Most likely, due to US laws you wont be able to get this for methadone and Bupe) Most MAT or methadone clinics will have contingency plans on how best to serve their clients. Listen to your service provider!

4) If you have an opiate habit and are currently using the illegal drug trade to obtain your drugs, BE PREPARED TO GO THROUGH INVOLUNTARY WITHDRAWAL if your dealer(s) get sick. Have backup plans that include increasing the number of dealers you can score off of, drug substitution programs, & make sure you have all the necessary medications, food/drinks (especially protein-based and electrolyte boosting liquids) you will need to detox.

5) STOCK UP ON DRUG USING EQUIPMENT/MATERIALS and get enough to last you at least 3-4 weeks (longer if you are at high risk for infection and if programs can manage it.

6) WIPE DOWN drug packages/wraps with alcohol-based cleansers after your dealer drops them off or once you’ve picked them up (a minimum 60% alcohol concentration has been shown to effectively kill the virus). If your dealers are in the habit of carrying dope in their mouths ask them if they can change this habit during this outbreak- if they won’t, be careful handling the packages and do the cleaning as advised up above. Remember that anti-bacterial washes don’t kill viruses but can be better than nothing, especially if they contain alcohol.

7) AVOID PUTTING DRUG BAGS/WRAPS IN YOUR MOUTH, VAGINA OR ANUS. If you must carry it in your body, clean vigorously with an alcohol-based cleanser both before and after you take it out, and if carried in your mouth use an alcohol-based mouthwash afterwards.

😎 WASH YOUR HANDS!!! WITH, soap and hot water vigorously for at least 20 seconds (but longer if you can) every time you come into contact with others, after handling money and after you get your drug packages. Paper towels are preferred for drying hands, or at least use a clean towel.

9) PREPARE YOUR DRUGS YOURSELF and ensure that you don’t handle or touch other people’s equipment/drugs and don’t let them touch yours.

10) If you have symptoms or think you’re getting sick, AVOID GOING TO YOUR LOCAL HR PROGRAMS – HAVE THEM DELIVER TO YOU and tell them you are unwell so they can take the necessary precautions for their safety.

11) Be prepared for the POSSIBILITY OF NEEDLE EXCHANGES AND DRUG TREATMENT PROGRAMS CLOSING DOWN (and possibly drug detoxes) and follow steps 2, 3, 4 and 5 to reduce any problems related to running out of suplies or equipment.

12) Remember that people with compromised immune systems, lung diseases and other preexisting conditions are more at risk of contracting COVID19 and help keep them safe by keeping yourself safe – follow these and other harm reduction