Stop Asking Me What The Scale Says.

I’m crying in the fucking changing room bc I cant fit into a fucking large and my friend is just a medium and small and I just wanna die.

Every girl has had the experience where a creepy guy asks for our number and we don’t want to give it to him, but we also don’t want to get gutted in a back alley. “Give him a fake number!” I hear you call, okay and then he says “okay let me call you real quick!” Because they are learning. “Give them your number and then block them!” Okay and then they can plug it into something like Spokeo, pay $10 and know everything about you. So what do you do?

First pick a fake name, I use Jessica, then download the Google Voice app, hook it up to your email, pick a number, and set up a fake greeting with your fake name. You can set it to ring your actual phone like a normal call or text but they don’t have real info on you.

Go forth and don’t get murdered, ladies!

Reblog to lose weight!

Reblog the weight loss turtle 🐢 to help you lose 4-7 pounds this week!! ✨✨

Like to charge ⚡️ Reblog to cast 💫

1.4 pounds this week and I’m proud even tho I ate like shit

Anti anxiety.

Sigh.

I'm putting this here because my therapist said I should. Am stressed. I failed the bar in February and as a result, I lost my job. I've been trying to study and I have a job lined up to start in August (I was supposed to start a while ago but I was so incredibly ill, we had to push it back).

As of right now, I'm officially out of money. Bills are still coming in and I had to spend a bit on meds when I was So Fucking Ill the last few weeks. I wasn't able to do as much work on art and furniture flipping as I'd have liked. When I try, I tend to overwork myself and relapse into The Sickness.

So uh.

Therapist said I should give you guys my kofi link. I feel dumb asking, but if you like me or my writing and want me to continue having things like internet and running water..bbbbuy me a coffee? Is that the line?

Not at all required, I love you all.

I'm just struggling right now and just need to make it by until the job starts in August.

Ko-fi

Buy Sand a Coffee. ko-fi.com/painsandconfusion

Become a supporter of Sand today! ❤️ Ko-fi lets you support the creators you love with no fees on donations.

Guess what you dumb whores (I say that lovingly) I found even more to hate about myself low key didn’t trying it was possible but I looked in the fucking mirror and I’m never losing my virginity since so one should even have to see my body naked✌🏽🤗😚 👅

I honestly and truthfully hate myself.

My hair:

I’m black and I get perms and I really wanna go natural. Told my mom and she told me that if u were to go natural all I would do was get made fun of. My relaxed hair grows so fucking slow and turns nappy really quick so when I get sew-ins you can tell the difference and I already get made fun of for that plus my fave is already fat and the only thing that makes it look slightly better is my hair. Yikes

My body:

I’m fat. I have scars everywhere. My thighs look like drum sticks. I have hip dips and that plus the way I already look makes me go from a 1 to a -12. I have stretch marks literally make me look so fucking disgusting and I have so many that I know that none of them are going away even when I lose weight. SOMETHING SO SIMPLE AS MY FINGERS ARE EVEN A FUCKING DISAPPOINTMENT. my fingers couldn’t be fucking normal and straight and have of them if curved. My fucking nails are just annoying. My sister lifted my shirt and goes oh I thought ur stomach plugged out a lot more than that.

My skin:

My pores are fucking huge. Every time I shave you can see the pores in my leg from a mile away and it looks like a have a fucking disease, I have bad hygiene and I don’t take care of my skin and it’s fucking disgusting.

My face:

My acne is so bad. My hyperpigmentation has literally ruined any confidence I had left. My teeth are ducked up and the adults in my fucking house hold refuse to get me a dentist appointment.my nose literally is a pig nose which makes it SOOOOO much better bc I am a fucking pigs. My eyes are this dull dark brown. Not that beautiful hazel color that everyone loves it just plain and fucking boring.

There is nothing for anyone to love about me. There’s nothing for me to love about my self.

i truly don’t care about anything anymore. i’m pretty, all my dreams are coming true, i’m THE it girl. i have no worries about anything <3

I had the flu the past week and a half so I’ve been easing my body into working out and not passing out🌚 Some days I don’t do as much as I wish but hey AT LEAST IM DOING SOMETHING😭 🙏🏽🤷🏽‍♀️

December 13

Yoga (15 mins)

December 14th

Yoga (15 mins)

Cardio (15 mins)

December 15th

Cardio (20 mins)

December 16th

Yoga (20 mins)

Cardio (30 mins)

I wanted to boost momentum for 2024!! Let’s start accomplishing our fitness and wellness goals before the ball drops on 2024.

I’m So excited to announce this because posting on this blog has been so healing for me and I appreciate everyone who likes, reblogs, sends well wishes or asks a question.

Giveaway entries start December 1st , more details soon 🤍

Speaking into existence I’m going to be in a marvel movie.