DONT SCROLL THIS IS IMPORTANT!

Just looked at a blog where the header description said 'sometimes I reblog posts I like so I don't forget them'.

And I feel like that, right there, explains so much about how the site has changed in the last few months.

People now think reblogging is an unusual behaviour, rather than a default.

Tumblr newbies, please, for the love of baby Jesus, reblog the posts you like. That is the whole reason the site exists - for you to collect all your shiny fandom objects in a single space. Which you can organize to your heart's content. Or not organize at all, if that's your jam.

Our blogs are intended to be collections of posts, not collections of likes.

LISTEN UP AGAIN KIDS STOP REBLOGGING THIS FUCKING GARBAGE POST. IT IS 100% FUCKING BULLSHIT AND CAN AND MOST DEFINITELY WILL LITERALLY KILL. DO YOU NOT SEE WARNING LABELS THAT SAY “DO NOT INDUCE VOMITING”? THEY AREN’T FUCKING AROUND. YOU CAN FUCKING BURN THEIR ESOPHAGUS BY CAUSING VOMITING, CAUSE CHOKING, DROWNING, OR MAKE IT WORSE! AGAIN DO NOT FORCE ANYTHING DOWN ANYONE’S THROAT. THEY. CAN. DROWN. IF SOMEONE IS LOSING CONCIOUSNESS ALL THE CHIT CHAT IN THE WORLD WILL NOT PREVENT IT AT THAT POINT THEY ARE IN SERIOUS DANGER. “Buuut i don’t wanna take them to the hospital!!!” WELL SUNSHINE GLAD YOU’D RATHER HAVE A DEAD FRIEND THAN A LIVING ONE BUT YOU’RE IN LUCK CALL FUCKING POISON CONTROL. THEY ARE NOT THE COPS. THEY WILL HELP YOU. AND IF THEY SAY GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL YOU GO TO THE FUCKING HOSPITAL. NO EXCUSES. 0. NONE. I have seen this shit cross my dash SO MANY TIMES so PLEASE fucking reblog this and prevent some well meaning idiot from accidentally killing someone they love!

I have a request bc this actually happened today and need some content to make me feel better.

Could you do the twins with a magicless reader from our world who is very in-touch with the paranormal, especially with negative energies. If the reader feels a negative energy, they get super pale and feel pressure building up in their stomach and chest.

Like, the reader is just walking around with the first years and they suddenly get super pale and dizzy and weak. And it gets to the point where it looks like they’re going to be sick or faint and the first years are just holding them up having no idea what’s happening. And it’s just Grim knowing what’s happening and having to explain the reason for why the reader collapsed.

My apologizes, but I'm not willing to write this ask. I'm very much iffy on the paranormal, nor do I believe in it. I am, in no way, saying you cannot believe in this yourself. But as I said, I won't be writing this due to the fact that one, I'm unsure how to write it properly, and two, I have some personal, possibly controversial, opinions on the paranormal.

My apologizes, but if you have another ask, I'm willing to write those!

𝐎𝐊𝐀𝐘! 𝐈'𝐦 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐦𝐨𝐫𝐞 𝐦𝐨𝐭𝐢𝐯𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐠𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐚 𝐥𝐨𝐭 𝐛𝐞𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐫! 𝐒𝐡𝐨𝐮𝐥𝐝 𝐈 𝐬𝐭𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐬𝐨𝐦𝐞 𝐅𝐍𝐚𝐅 𝐬𝐭𝐮𝐟𝐟? 𝐈𝐟 𝐈 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞𝐧'𝐭 𝐠𝐨𝐭𝐭𝐞𝐧 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐫𝐞𝐪𝐮𝐞𝐬𝐭, 𝐈'𝐥𝐥 𝐠𝐞𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐫𝐞 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧𝐭𝐮𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐲, 𝐈 𝐩𝐫𝐨𝐦𝐢𝐬𝐞! 𝐄𝐯𝐞𝐫 𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐜𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐭𝐜𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐅𝐍𝐚𝐅 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐢𝐞, 𝐦𝐲 𝐛𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐡𝐚𝐬 𝐬𝐚𝐢𝐝 "𝐍𝐨, 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐚𝐢𝐧 𝐟𝐨𝐜𝐮𝐬 𝐢𝐬 𝐅𝐍𝐚𝐅."

1. Good to see you again! OwO♥️

2. How have you been?

hello! i've been alright, suffering from severe writers block, but i'm alright! thank you for asking! how are you?

I told you I would send in a request, so here it is! This is an Obey Me one, if that's alright!

First off, have you ever seen Little Shop of Horrors? If not, please do! One, it's essential for this ask and it's also just a great movie! No pressure though!

Now, onto the real ask! So, if possible, I'd like to request a florist!MC. But a florist who's kind of like Seymour.

(Here's where the whole Little Shop of Horrors thing really comes in)

They come to the Devildom with Audrey II. It's got its roots wrapped around the MC's waist, and it's vines wrapped around their arms while snug. Of course, it's heavily off-putting because.. well. There's a humongous and terrifying plant just.. attached to this human.

But the brothers don't mind it, until months into the MC's stay as an exchange student when Audrey II starts talking. Then, they're all freaked out. They're even more freaked out when the MC is not only fine with it, but is willingly talking to it like it's normal!

(Bonus if they see the MC prick their finger and then just.. let Audrey II clean It off.)

(Yes, this came to me in a dream in the middle of a 20-minute-nap.)

So, what would the brothers think of this?

Feed Me Seymour!

05/17/2024 - 05/30/2024

Pairing: No pairing (you can think of the interactions as either platonic or romantic) Word Count: 3,351 Warnings: Reader pricks their finger, but they'll be alright; mentions of chapter 16 Gender: Gender Neutral (as it was not specified in the request) Tags: @g0dwat3r (if any of you would like to be added to my Obey Me taglist, please let me know)! Notes: Okay, I really love your brain Touya, because this is already a fantastic idea, but you know what I started thinking about? Morticia Addams. I don't know if you've seen the old Addams Family series, but Morticia has a carnivorous plant called Cleopatra, and I really wanted to include her in the story. I didn't, but I'm definitely thinking about writing it.

In which Y/N has a rather interesting plant friend(?)

"Congratulations!

We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at the Royal Academy of Diavolo.

Please return this letter with your sign to confirm your participation.

We are looking forward to welcoming you as part of our new exchange program.

Yours sincerely,

Diavolo"

Huh? Royal Academy of Diavolo? Exchange Program? What was happening?

You tried to open your eyes, but there was nothing to see. Just pitch-blackness. It would have been more terrifying, but the soothing presence wrapped around your waist and arms helped. Quite a bit, at that. Clutching the stem of rice flowers close to your chest (although careful enough to not break the stem), you kept trying to see through the darkness for something, anything.

Soon enough, there was a voice. "We welcome you, human, to the demon student council."

The voice was stern, but pleasant, drawing your attention away from the darkness and to a room that was materializing in front of your eyes. It looked like a really goth courtroom, and you truly would have spent more time admiring the place if it wasn't for the ridiculously tall man who arose from the chief judge seat.

The man in question was handsome. Very much so. With burgundy hair, and a well-fitted suit, and skin so coppery sweet, it was no wonder that you couldn't help but stare.

And if you weren't so caught up in the man's appearance and the fact that you had no idea what on Earth was happening, perhaps you would have noticed that you weren't the only one staring.

You had to physically will yourself to pay attention not only to the man when he started speaking but the others in the room as well.

"Welcome to the Devildom, Y/N."

Astonishment enraptured your being for the simple reasons that this complete stranger somehow knew your name, and that every single person in the room was blessed with extremely good looks. The astonishment, unfortunately, did not go unnoticed.

"...Oh pardon me. Feeling a bit shocked, are we?" Asked the man with red hair. "Well that's understandable. You've only just arrived, after all." Arrived? Arrived where exactly? "As a human, it will probably take a little while for you to adjust to things here in the Devildom."

Okay yeah, this was some sort of really weird dream induced by your lack of sleep this past week. That's why there were really handsome dudes and that's why one was telling you weird stuff. Since it's a dream, there was no problem with going along with it, right?

"The Devildom?" You ask, feeling yourself relax a little more, now knowing that this is a dream.

"Yes, exactly, the Devildom. I see that you catch on quickly. Excellent." He replied.

Well, that didn't really answer anything.

You were about to ask for a better reply than that when he said, "I suppose I should start by introducing myself." Curious, you give him his moment. "My name is Diavolo. I am the ruler of of all demons, and all here know me." Cool. The dude's a demon king. Still not the weirdest thing you've ever dreamt. "And someday soon, I will be crowned king of the Devildom." Oh, he wasn't king yet. Then how's he a ruler already? You know what, it's probably best not to think too hard about it.

The so called ruler of the so called Devildom proceeded to explain about a school called R.A.D. and about a bunch of other stuff. The other demons (plus one that came in really late) introduced themselves as different demons of different avatars, and the more they spoke, the more you couldn't shake off a particular feeling.

It all felt too...real. You'd dreamt all sorts of things before, but a part of you somehow always knew that it was just a dream. But you didn't feel that this time. It felt far too real. The anxiety slowly crept back into your bones, a chilling effect settling over your being as your throat seemed to have something invisible lodged in it.

You tried telling them that you weren't meant to be here. That you were meant to be back home. You still had to finish your bouquet for Mrs. Harris, and you had a new shipment of peonies arriving in an hour. You hadn't finished watering all your plants. You hadn't cleaned up the shop. You still had so much left to do! You couldn't just be whisked away to some other world (that you still weren't entirely sure was a dream or not).

But alas.

You were told that there was no way they could send you back.

And if that wasn't bad enough, you had to go to school. You had assignments. You had tests. Oh and you were in what was basically hell.

Ain't that swell?

Throughout this whole ordeal, the plant around your waist remained dutifully wrapped around your figure, even nuzzling against your neck when she felt your discomfort.

Without much of a choice, you steeled yourself for the days in this foreign world that awaited you.

The latest human addition to R.A.D. was a little...odd. None of the brothers nor the demon prince in the room wished to point out the very large plant that had wrapped itself around the human like some manner of serpent, especially since the human was completely unbothered by it.

Most of the brothers found it odd, of course. Solomon never walked around with a giant plant stuck to him, but then again, Solomon wasn't necessarily normal himself. A few of the brothers didn't find it in themselves to keep their thoughts quiet. Mammon in particular straight up screeched when he saw the plant, and maintained his distance (both emotionally and physically) and still the human did not seem to mind the plant.

Asmo found the plant ugly.

That was really the only way he could describe it.

It was ugly.

Satan had read stories of plants like this. In one book he read, the plant ended up eating a whole bunch of people. He only hoped that this was not a case like that story.

Beelzebub didn't really have an opinion on the plant. He could eat it, but it didn't really look too appetizing.

Diavolo himself was worried at first, because he was sure that humans didn't simply walk around with giant plants attached to them. When he told Barbatos about this odd situation, the ever loyal butler offered to look into the matter discreetly.

He found nothing.

It had been many months since you had been whisked away to the Devildom (which you are now infinitely more familiar with). It was strange at first, and it took some getting used to, but you did it. Now, whenever you woke up to face the day ahead of you, you didn't do so in fear or anxiety or anything else.

You had grown accustomed to this new world.

In fact, you'd go so far as to say that you'd grown fond of the place.

Audrey II seemed to agree with this. Every morning, Audrey demanded a large meat dish to satisfy her hunger. The brothers assumed that you were a very hungry individual (Beel felt a deep hunger coming from you at all times), and didn't think much more of it. Every now and then, Audrey would crave a Backstabbing Sandwich (apparently it was particularly delicious), and you, having no other choice, entertained her food whims. What's the worst that could happen?

It was after the whole incident with Belphegor that you brought Audrey with you more often wherever you went. Though you and the brothers had slowly gotten past the incident, the trauma it left behind did not magically go away. Audrey II being the sweet thing she is, had no qualms to being carried around the Devildom (despite the lingering stares and questions that were thrown your way).

Today was a day that Audrey II would be coming with you. You were heading off to the flower shop you owned on Dogma Street. You originally were looking to open the shop at Silent Street, but Dogma Street caught your eye. The street itself was the biggest electronic district in the Devildom, and when you first proposed the idea to the brothers (and Diavolo and Barbatos) to open a flower shop there, they were quick to advice you not to. Why would you open a flower shop at a street primarily known for its electronics?

Still, you managed to push through, and you ended up becoming the quaint owner of a little shop next to an eatery on the street.

And wouldn't you know, it actually did pretty well.

Of course, since you were a student, you couldn't be at your shop full-time, and that's where two lesser demons come in - Terror and Dolor - a pair of siblings who often fought, but shared an interest in flora. They would take care of the shop in shifts, and seeing as you gave them the housing area right above the shop to stay in, you could make sure that they would be at your precious flower shop at (mostly) all times.

Today was planned to be their day off, which was fine by you, seeing as you hadn't been to the shop in a week and you desperately wanted to see your babies (plants) again.

You opened the door, causing a sweet bell to ring, signifying your arrival to your empoyees.

"Y/N!"

"You're back!"

Smiling, you greet your employees, Audrey still wrapped around you.

Terror and Dolor fawned over Audrey (they're really the only ones in the Devildom who do that apart from you) while you went inside to get your apron. Working at the flower shop had quite a few benefits. You could make your own money, go to work at your own time, and most importantly, you could be surrounded by the things that you love the most - flora (and Audrey).

Your flower shop was quaint (despite its large capacity). Many customers have complimented it, saying that it felt homely (which is exactly what you were going for, so mission accomplished successfully you supposed). Even Asmo loved the place, and oftentimes would post selfies from just about everywhere in your shop.

"Dolor, how's that order with the Bloody Acokanthera Oblongifolias going?" You asked the demon pruning Audrey II.

"Just finished it this morning! We shipped it along with the invoice for the flowers. The customer notified us that they would be making the payment by the end of today." Dolor replied.

Shooting a smile of satisfaction at him, you shooed the brothers out your shop, wishing for them to have a lovely day to do...well, whatever it was they did outside the shop. Right before they left, Terror told you that a certain demon butler had visited the shop earlier and left a letter for you, and how she placed it in your office.

With that in mind, you walked back into your shop, petting Audrey II as she sat on a table before walking into your office and grabbing the aforementioned letter.

Even without the knowledge from the siblings that Barbatos had delivered this letter to you, you would have been able to tell that it was he who wrote the letter. By this time in your adventures in the Devildom, you had come to recognize the handwriting of those you know. And while a few had impeccable writing (in cursive too), no one's writing was as elegant as Barbatos - not even Lucifer.

The letter read:

"Dearest Y/N, I am pleased to inform you that Lord Diavolo requires a fresh shipment of Dark Roses for an upcoming event at the castle. I sincerely apologize for the short notice, but please note that the master and I truly would have given you more time to prepare the notice had we been able to do so. We shall need enough roses to fill out the Crimson Room. I estimate that the number be around 50. We will need the roses delivered by tomorrow. Thank you, Barbatos"

You smiled, already having a good idea as to why the roses were needed. Some of the higher officials (not including the brothers you lived with) had been a little too finicky with their positions and though not a threat to the heir of the Devildom, they were starting to get on his nerves.

No matter.

Despite how sweet Diavolo seemed (and actually is), even the Crown Prince of the Devildom had his limits. Oh well. Those officials would get what was coming to them.

Your job was to simply provide the best roses for such an event.

With a newfound vigor, you made your way next door (you had originally bought two plots in the street and simply joined them together to create one shop. This area was where you kept some of your best grown flora (the rest were in an undisclosed location only you and a few others knew about). Typically, you the plants you grew in this area were popular - loads of customers would buy them. The rest of your plants were grown in the aforementioned undisclosed location. Despite this, there was one type of flower you grew in your shop which was by no means popular, but rather extremely rare.

Dark roses.

You fondly recall you and Barbatos planting a fresh batch of dark roses at the Demon Lord's Castle, and how he had given you some seeds to grow for yourself. What started off as a few roses quickly became much more, and now you were the exclusive propagator of dark roses in the Devildom. It was a monopoly you gladly encouraged (something Mammon also did).

The first step was to cut the roses. The roses had to be cut in a specific manner - a 45-degree angle and they had to be put in water immediately. This same method was used with roses back in the human realm (and gardeners would use the stems to grow new roses out of), but there was one key difference between the roses from back home and the dark roses in the Devildom. One of them could actually survive a little while without having to be immediately placed in water.

The other could not.

And that's part of the reason why dark roses were so rare in the Devildom. They were ridiculously hard to grow in the first place, but cutting them was an even bigger pain.

Luckily, you had loads of experience with these finicky things, so you had this in the bag.

After some time, you'd harvested almost 60 roses (some extras, just in case), and it was time to remove the thorns from their stems. Removing the thorns from the roses could be done using one of two different tools you had available in your shop. The first one were rose thorn cutters (made specifically for that purpose) that didn't look too different from a pair of nail cutters. The logic was that you'd slide the tool up to the top of the stem, press down on the handles gently, and then drag it down the stem, thus cutting off the thorns.

Though very efficient, the second tool was your favorite - a simply knife. Roses were woody in nature, so all you had to do was simply slice all around the stem of the flower. Admittedly, this took a lot more time than the thorn cutters, but in a way, it was stress relieving. You were sure that you'd end up using the thorn cutters, but you'd enjoy using the knife for as long as you could.

And so you got to work - de-thorning all 60 something roses by hand.

You'd gotten through more than half of the roses when you heard the bell of your shop jingle. Turning around, you saw none other than the brothers you shared a house with. But in doing so, you'd accidentally run the blade of the tool you were using right across your finger.

Woops.

Hissing, you pulled your gaze from the brothers and back to your finger. You could see the cut, but it took a moment for the blood to come out. It was painful, and you weren't too good with cuts (a little ironic, considering your profession), but before you could whisk your finger away to wash off the blood, Audrey II yelled, "Feed me! I'm starving" before she chomped down on your finger.

Of course, she didn't actually bite off your finger, but she sucked the blood out, and it made your finger more sore than it was already.

It wasn't anything out of the ordinary, of course. You'd gotten hurt loads of times when working (and even when you weren't working), and if there was blood (which there usually was), Audrey would just lick it off for your. Same old.

The brothers had seen you talk to Audrey II plenty of times before, hell (literally), you'd talk to just about every plant you came across, but never had they seen Audrey II talk to you.

If that wasn't shock enough, you just wiped your hands down on your apron before turning back to face the brothers and greet them with a smile as though you hadn't just nicked yourself and had your plant(?) lick your finger for you.

Of course, the greeting faltered on your tongue as soon as you saw the faces of the brothers.

Asmodeus spoke up first.

"Sweetie, your plant just talked!"

"Yeah?" You asked rhetorically. "What about it?" You watched as the brothers tried (and failed) to come up with words to say, although you didn't really understand why they were struggling so. Even Levi was stunned. In an attempt to make a joke (and to stifle the stifling atmosphere), you said, "It's not like you guys didn't know that Audrey could talk."

One look at their faces, and you knew that you were wrong.

"Wait, you guys actually didn't know that Audrey could talk!?" You asked, stunned at this new revelation.

At last, Lucifer gathered himself. "Ahem. We were not made...aware of the fact that your plant was sentient." He sure looked uncomfortable trying to explain his mind without offending you or Audrey.

"What do you think all that meat was being delivered for every morning Lucifer?" You asked sardonically.

"Wait, I thought that yer the one eatin all that meat!" Mammon exclaimed. Bewildered, you shot him a look conveying as such.

"How the hell would I eat 2 whole pounds of meat every single day genius?" You retorted.

"We just thought you were hungry." Beel offered.

"I'm a human. I'd literally die if I ate that much meat every. single. day." You enunciated the last words.

"I'm rather fascinated by Audrey II. How did you come to meet? Was she always this size? Did she always have a deep carnivorous craving?" Satan asked consecutively. Before you had a chance to answer any of them though, he continued, "Actually, now that I think about it, it makes sense! I've been an utter idiot! All the signs were there, and I've read about these kind of plants in A Complete Guide to Carnivorous Plants and How to Care for Them!"

You didn't even bother reminding him that you were the one who recommended the book to him.

Belphegor seemed to be the most chill (although you could still see some semblance of surprise on his sleepy visage).

Figuring that this was probably going to take a while, and you had a whole bunch of Dark Roses to prepare, you invited everyone to grab a chair and sit while you worked.

It turned out to be a good choice, because you ended up finishing a few hours after you'd originally thought you'd finish, and by the end of the day, Audrey had made (official) friends with each of the brothers. In fact, you would say that Audrey and Asmo got along particularly well.

And yes, the roses turned out spectacularly, and the House of Lords were reminded once again of who was truly in charge.

Author's Note: I took some liberty with the Reader's personality in this fic. Seymour's a very timid guy, and (spoiler alert), that's what ultimately lead to his demise (in my opinion). Being thrust into a world full of demons, I think you're gonna need a little more tenacity that Seymour, so I made the Reader timid, but not Seymour-level timid (if that makes sense). The second thing I took a decent amount of liberty with is making Audrey II not entirely evil. She is after all a villain in the original story, but I made Audrey a little bit like Cleopatra. (Sorry if that's not what you wanted)! Masterlist

GRRR THE CREATIVE JUICES ARE FLOWING 😈😈😈

BAHHHAHAHH

ZAGAN MY LOVE

last fictional character in your camera roll just adopted u

we would be getting into arguments all the time 🫣 at least we could chat about magic together

npt: @callmejud3 @definitelynotttheo @person4924 @lostlosersclub @librarianafterdark @werewolfenthusiast

Asks That Start Off Normal But Progressively Get Dark

1- What’s your favorite color?

2- Coffee or tea?

3- If you could live anywhere and cost wasn’t an issue, where would you live? 

4- If you were a time of day, what time of day would you be?

5- What’s your phone wallpaper?

6- What’s a song that you relate to?

7- What would you do if you found a 100 dollar bill on the sidewalk?

8- Do you have any piercings or tattoos? 

9- What song would you want to get kissed to?

10- What song would you play at your funeral?

11- When’s the last time you cried?

12- What do you want to be remembered for when you die?

13- If you could commit any crime without consequence, which crime would you commit? Or would you not commit any crime at all?

14- Would you rather know the date or cause of your death?

15- What would you do if you found a dead body in a hotel room?

16- Are we really living or are we just slowly dying?

17- Do you like the taste of blood?

18- If you had to lose a body part, which one would you choose and why?

19- Would you rather be frozen, burned, or drowned?

20- If there's hell of some sort, do you think you’re going there?

21- How would you dispose of a body?

22- Would you kill someone you don’t know to save someone you love?

23- Would you rather be burned at the stake but die a saint beloved by all, or die peacefully but have nobody remember you?

24- Would you rather eat part of a human heart or a whole human eye?

25- What question would you ask the devil?