Hi Guys 👋 I Do Have A Twitter Account Hehe @ Ichocodog , ANYWAYS The Ultimate Autism Man In This Trend

need a miracle to get through these midterms

so I got into grad school today with my shitty 2.8 gpa and the moral of the story is reblog those good luck posts for the love of god

AS IT SHOULD'VE BEEN : NANAMI KENTO

if you could go back and change the course in which your life was headed, you would. now you're chasing for what could've been when it's always been right there.

content warnings ￫ afab!reader (she/her), (single) mother!reader, angst to fluff, smut, friends to lovers, mutual pining, slow burn(ish?), minor character deaths, unplanned pregnancy, reconciliation, religious aspects, minor higuruma x reader, featuring gojo satoru, geto suguru, shoko ierei, trigger warning: mentions of alcohol abuse. smut content: one night stand, car sex, (un)protected sex, pleasure dom!nanami, multiple orgasms, cum eating, overstimulation, creampie, heavy making out, dry humping, fingering, etc. + 40.1k words !

author's note ￫ here's my baby. gosh, did i have fun writing this fic. thank you for everyone that takes the time to read it and please! leave a comment below telling me how you felt reading this. ( fic playlist ! )

“Yeah, okay,” you whisper slowly into the phone, a fair distance away from the band of people gathered around the bonfire. Shimmering flames that light up the area as they dance and drink the night away. It’s beautiful out and you should be enjoying the time, the song playing as you put more distance between you and the party is one that you love. The dark waves push and pull heavily when you pause to look out in the distance, taking in the tragic news.

You and your friends have recently been announced as college graduates— some of them going to start their careers, some of them going to further their education. Whichever path they’re taking, it doesn’t matter. They’re celebrating the now. Hearing them in the background, they’re having the time of their lives as they pop open their cans of beer. ‘Woooh!’ They cheer, laughter following in suit as they turn up the music a little louder. 

The night is chilly and nipping at your exposed skin, the sound of the waves should be something that soothes you like it typically would. Sometimes you’d play ocean sounds when you were studying, eyes locking shut as you took a few seconds to motivate and empower yourself to keep going and remind yourself that it’ll be worth it in the long run. You took the beach waves as your lucky charm, but it seems to turn into your worst nightmare as you feel like they’re swallowing you up right now. 

You can’t help but be selfish, wondering on all days that this could’ve happened, why today? The grim thoughts start to seep through your head, questioning life. But you know the answer to your own question, life waits for no one. Instead of wallowing in this self-pity; instead of putting attention to the thoughts that dash across your mind, you listen. It’s all that you can do as you stroll down the beach, naked toes dipping into the sand as you try to drown out the rest of the world. There’s an unease in your chest, throat swelling as you grow nauseous with each second that passes. Shortly, you hear your name being called. Over and over again before you’re picking up your feet to get further away. 

And your father keeps going, voicing out all of his stresses and concerns about your mother’s condition. Stage four brain cancer eating away at her head. She didn’t want you to know, but it continues to get worse and they don’t have the funds to pay for her treatment. You wonder what makes him think you do, you literally just graduated from college. 

“So, do you think you could make it back down in the next two weeks?” 

You were expecting the question. It’s his habitual routine when he wanted to ask you for favors— favors that always led you to sacrificing something. It started out with little things when you were younger. When he ate the last of your favorite snacks, the ones that his wife— your mother— specified was yours, he’d accidentally eaten it and then rambled about how hard it was being a parent. He’d guilt trip you before finally admitting to it. Then, when you got older, you’d sacrifice your time to take care of your baby cousin when you were supposed to be going to a friend’s birthday party. All because he forgot that you already had plans set in stone and decided to do something last minute. Then when you got your first job, he’d ask you for money and claim he’d pay you back. He never did. 

Whenever you voiced your concerns to your mother, she would say she’d speak to him. She never did. Instead, she always came back with an excuse to stick by his side. In return, they both continued to hurt you— harder and harder every time. You guessed your mother realized that when you told her that you’d be going to college abroad, not looking back at her when she dropped you off at the airport. Just a simple kiss on the cheek before mumbling out a ‘goodbye.’ She was in tears while you were relieved, alleviated at the fact that you no longer had to give them a part of yourself again for a while. 

You guessed your mother didn’t want to tell you because she didn’t want to worry her only child. She also knew you. She knew that if she told you, you’d come back without a second thought. Your father, on the other hand, was never considerate about anyone else but himself. He also knew you, and because of that, it’s why he called. It’s why he can speak so smoothly as he stands inside the hospital room, watching your mother peacefully sleeping as he recites your mother’s diagnosis without a second thought. 

And you resent your father— hate him even more for even asking you this question. However, you hate yourself for the pain in your heart when you even consider saying no. There’s a lump in your throat as you’re choking out a sob, one out of anger more than sadness. Because fuck, yes you’ll try to find a flight as soon as you can. However, you don’t want to give your father that sweet satisfaction of a yes. Not just yet. 

“I’ll have to call you back and let you know.” Your eyes water as you try to hold back the tears. Shit, you exhale. Before he could say anything else, you’re pulling the phone away from your ear. You don’t bother saying goodbye, ending the call and sitting down on a bench not too far from you. You let the waterworks flow now, tears streaming down your face as you let out a low and scratched, “Fuck.”

“(Y/N)?” Not getting the time to fully digest the situation you’ve been put in, you’re appointed with the view of Nanami Kento. The beautiful blond holding bags and bags of takeout boxes for the party. The exhaustion in his eyes has been drained, replaced with concern as he looks at you. Your eyes are puffy and cheeks stained with tears, and realizing that you wear all your emotions on your face, you try to cover it up. Even though it’s too late. “Are you okay?”

Wiping at your tears, there’s no reason to lie now, but you do it anyway. Standing up, you nod repeatedly, “Y-yeah, yeah. I’m fine.”

Forgetting about his original objective— bring the party of nearly drunk college graduates food— he drops the bags down on the bench before sitting down next to you, invading your personal space. “No, you’re not.”

And before you can say anything else, he asks, “Do you want to get out of here?”

You don’t know where he’s driving you, you just know it’s away from all the noise and festivities. Your head tilts towards the outside, feeling the cool breeze against your skin as the window is rolled all the way down. Nanami’s constantly looking back at you, worried as any friend should be. That’s what you think and that’s what he tells himself. But no, his mind is trying to come up with a million ways to make you feel better, trying to dissect your mind, find out what’s wrong and just how he can fix it. 

“Do you want to talk about it?” He asks, in that deep voice you always compare to a glass of bourbon— always running down your body smoothly. It does the same thing now, and for a moment, you think about telling him. You want to tell him, but the moment you move to open your mouth, the tears start pooling again and you don’t want to bring them back. So instead, your hair moves with your head as you whisper out a ‘no’ that he miraculously hears. He only says, “okay.”

He’s driving you for another fifteen minutes before he’s parking. When you finally register where you are, it’s another beach. This one’s empty, not a person in sight. You snort in an attempt to lighten up the mood, “You brought me to another beach?”

He shrugs sheepishly. “It’s away from everyone and it’s a beautiful view.”

Staring off in the distance, you agree. “It is.”

“I just—” you start. There’s no escaping it, your emotions. The longer you sit here in silence, stuck in your head, the more everything’s just drowning you and wanting you to suffocate. “I’m just so tired.”

Your sobs are loud, filling up the car. For a moment, Nanami isn’t sure what to do. He’s never seen you like this before. Yes, you’ve cried before, but never this much and never so loud. Never in this much pain. He feels himself tense because he doesn’t want to do the wrong thing. However, his subconscious whispers to him, Just give her a hug.

Unbuckling his seatbelt, he reaches for you. And his embrace is so warm and comforting. Everything you need at the moment. Your head lays down against his broad chest and your body relaxes as you continue to sob. His steady heart beat reverberates through you, soothing your nerves as your cries gradually turn into heavy and deep suspires. Then, you sniff before pulling away. “Thank you. I really needed that.”

“Anything for you,” he lets slip out before thinking it through. The eyes that you give him, wide and watery. They stare so prettily in his brown eyes and you can’t help but get lost in them. Subconsciously, your body moves closer and closer to him. Your lips ghost his as his breathing becomes unsteady. He doesn’t stop you, doesn’t tell you ‘no’ when your soft lips touch his. The connection of your moist lips against his, the two-toned shades blending against the pink. They fit together so perfectly, like finding the missing puzzle piece. 

Your breath hitches when he pulls you closer, falling into his embrace before he abruptly detaches himself from you. His rationality starting to take over his emotions. “Are you sure this is fine? I don’t want to—”

“Please,” you plead desperately. “I need this. I need you.”

You whisper the last one low. You don’t know if he heard, but if he did, he doesn’t address it. He simply pulls you in tighter, using his strength to drag you out of your seat and on his lap. Your gasps were swallowed by the intrusion of his mouth, the supple feeling of his tongue eager to memorize the taste of you. Faint artificial berries from your chapstick, a swig of beer and mint. 

Your nails dig into the cotton of his beach shirt, a dull green being scrunched up by your fingernails as you pull him closer. His knuckles whiten, veins protruding as he grounds your hip. Together, you swallow each other’s pants, taking seconds to gasp for air as strings of your saliva connect. With so much need and fervor, the two of you just can’t get enough of each other. His hand tangles in your kinky curls, something that took you hours to do after being so meticulous. However, you don’t have time to chastise him for it when you ground your hips deeper into him. 

Nanami kisses you like he’s going to lose you, arms strung around your waist as the only noise that can be heard are your breathy mewls against his lips and the smack of your lips when you reconnect after a breath of air. His grunts are subtle and quiet, but there’s so much vigor on his chest as he paws at you with a deep and visceral hunger. He can’t get enough, needing more. But begging for it might be his downfall, so he lets you take the lead into initiating the next move. 

Your hands travel from his chest, digits gliding and feeling him in your hold. The palms of your hands dancing over the exposed skin of his arms up to his shoulders and around his neck. Your fingers tug on the short blond locks on the back of his head tightly as you ground your hips. These needy kisses, the suck of your lips and the gentle bites on your tongue. It’s setting you off immensely, arousal sticking to the polyester of your swimsuit— two flimsy pieces to your black bikini. You’ve forgotten all about your appearance when you jumped into the car with him, but it’s only to your convenience when you slip off the sheer beach cover up that’s done nothing to conceal your body.

You’re finally pulling away from the heat of the moment, needy eyes staring into those brown hues as Nanami immediately gets the hint. But he searches some more, needing another sign of consent other than the lustful haze within your pupils. When you nod, it’s enough to unravel everything that’s pent up inside of him. This kiss was nothing like before, not so sentimental and passionate. No, his grip on you is even tighter as one hand is unraveling the knots in your bikini strings. Your breasts spill out as he’s tugging it from the tight grip of being chest to chest with one another. You press yourself into him and with the hand that was wrapped around you, it’s swiftly moving to pull the seat back. 

You choke out a squeak at the dip, heart skipping a beat as you’re given a bit more space to move. Fingers moving quickly, you’re working to unbutton the rest of his shirt. The acrylics fumbling to undo them as Nanami takes the lead in a desperate hurry, popping two in the process. When it’s open, your hands explore the depths of his chest— how it rises and falls. The fuzz of blond tickling your skin as you map out every crevice of his body. He’s warm despite the cold nipping at your skin, the sole source of comfort that your body automatically responds well to.

  All the times that you’ve confided in him, told him things that some of your other friends never knew. Something always drew you into Nanami, a longing for him that you know the exact word for. However, you never admitted it out loud. Even now.

With the way he handles you, it’s what has always enticed you about him. He’s always managed to take away your stress. This time it’s with the beds of his finger tips. He halts your movements for a moment to admire you— your body. Eyes that traverse down your body, taking in every inch of you in a new light. From the features of your face to the supple mounds of your chest, pert nipples erect and large brown areolas, and down to the curve of your body. His hands follow your body, trying to memorize every cavern and crevice of you before muttering, “Beautiful.”

Moreso a statement to himself, nonetheless it makes you shudder when his nose touches yours and your lips meet once more. Your hips move languidly, eliciting soft grunts from his lips as you grind your hips. However, it’s not enough. Nanami reaches to untangle the strings of your bottoms next, a rough tug on them before they join your top. He retracts himself to tug down his own bottoms, lust drunk eyes that are filled with such want and desire.

With the car lights off, you bless the bright street lamps that shine its lights inside the vehicle. Rays of light that bead down on Nanami’s length. A thick girth that compensates an average length, you take the initiative as you reach between his legs. Wrapping your hand around his cock, you let out a small hum leaving your lips as a shiver runs down your spine. The tip of him kisses your clit, pressing yourself down on him, you soak his length in your arousal before you’re sinking on him. At the same time, the both of you let out a drawn out moan. You lean into him, your bare chest pressed against his as his arms snake around your waist. In a swift motion, you’re bouncing on his length while he’s thrusting his hips up. 

Together, you two make a sultry song, orchestrated by the wet slaps of your skin and the moans that you two create. Outside, if there are any late night stragglers, they’ll see the subtle rock of the vehicle, immediately knowing the raunchy scene unfolding inside the car. The windows are fogging up as the sweltering night of passion between two… friends continues. 

Fuck, everytime he opens his eyes and sees the euphoric bliss written all over your face, he feels an overwhelming pressure as your mouth drops open and forms an ‘O’. High-pitched moans and squeaks that spur him on as he admires every inch of you. Your pussy’s clenching around him, making his cock twitch. “K-Kento… ‘M g’nna cum.”

“Me, too,” he breathes. “Where do you want me to—”

“Inside,” you pant. “Inside me. Need you… so bad.”

You don’t know what you’re saying and how much that turns him on. That when your mouth runs dry and you can’t croak out another word as you’re cumming, he’s spilling into you without a second thought. Because this is what you want, this is what you asked for. And when your body falls pliant into him, head hitting his chest, he doesn’t hesitate to pull you tighter into his embrace. He’s pulling your curly strands from your face as he gently kisses your forehead. He’s not thinking. He can never think straight when it comes to you. Because before he knows it, he’s whispering, “I love you.”

When you don’t respond, he assumes that you haven’t heard him. And he’s fine with that. Your chest falling and rising in a smooth rhythm as your heart rate steadies. On your phone, you’ve got a missed call and a few messages from your dad. And together, the both of you shared the frantic and panicked calls from all of your friends, all wistfully being ignored as you fell asleep to the soft and tender touch of Nanami massaging your scalp. His mind can’t help but wonder why you were crying, but he’s trying to convince himself that everything will be okay. 

( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡

THREE WEEKS LATER 

You left with not as much as a message goodbye. When Gojo, Geto, Shoko and Nanami appear on the doorsteps of your complex building knocking at your door heavily, there’s no response. Knock knock, still no response. Knock, knock, knock— nothing. The pounding gets louder and heavier the more that Gojo continues. In denial, Shoko nudges him. “Do it again.”

But his arm is tired and from a peek inside the window, the house is empty. Blue eyes that scans the area he can see, every spot and crevice is blank. The home is a clean canvas for someone else to claim. Rolling his shoulders, he shakes his head. “She’s gone.”

There’s a sullen silence that falls over them all. It’s sunny outside, bright beams of light beating down against their skin, but it might as well be cloudy by the gloom that overshadows the sun. No one says a word, especially Nanami. His posture weakens, shoulders slouching as he feels like the wind is knocked out of him. However, he manages to keep his composure steady as the silence continues to suffocate them. 

It takes Geto to break the silence, a slight bitterness etched into his words when he says, “She didn’t even say goodbye.”

Finally, it clicks. Why you were so sad at the bonfire; why you couldn’t bring yourself to tell him a word. You were going to leave and you knew you were. A part of him feels used, but his heart can’t help but to continue loving you. A part of him was still looking to empathize with you. Because of the amount of pain you were in, you felt guilty. You were remorseful. And what he hopes for the most is that you didn’t want to leave. He knows it’s true. The look in your eyes when he stared back into them. The way you clung at the cotton fabric of his shirt, grounding yourself into him with such a need. Because you knew that would be your last time with him. He can’t help but feel a slight surge of pride at the fact that you wanted to spend it with him in such an intimate way. 

“Did she tell any of you?” Shoko asks, head turning towards all of them inquisitively. 

"No," Gojo and Geto say simultaneously. However, with his bottom lip poking out, Gojo hums as he recalls the night of their last minute graduation bash. "She was acting weird during the bonfire. She ran off when you tried calling her, remember?"

"Oh yeah," Shoko remembers, it all coming back to her. You were on the phone and it seemed to be a serious conversation the way your expression dropped. After that, you disappeared not too shortly after Shoko tried beckoning you over. "And then— Nanami! You were there with her for the rest of the night! What happened?"

Nanami grimaced, squirming in his spot as he thought back to it, trying to decide what to conceal and what to reveal. 

Fixing back the shawl over your shoulders as Nanami helped tie back on the bikini strings. It was silent, but it wasn’t awkward— more so comforting. Feeling his steady breath on the back of your neck, Nanami pulls your hair out of the way, fixing the curls back in their place as best as he can. “Do you want me to bring you home?”

Should you go back home so soon? You ask yourself. You don’t want to be there alone. But, you also didn’t want to explain your absence to your friends. “Yeah,” you breathe. 

The drive back isn’t strikingly quiet as the drive to. He turns on the radio to drown it out, the soft melody humming through the car speakers. It lulls you to sleep feeling the night breeze kiss your skin as your hair flies and tickles you. The soft hand that wakes you up with a light squeeze, gently calling you to open your eyes as you hum out. “Are we here?”

“Yes,” he responds. You stretch, chest pushing out as you hear the creaks ringing from your neck. Twisting and turning, you feel the brown eyes on you, finding it cute how your eyes squint together and your mouth’s breaking out a yawn. Nodding, you click up the long and weakly throw open the door. “Okay.”

One leg out of the vehicle, you’re still sitting inside the car before Nanami’s climbing out of the car completely and joining you on the other side. He walks you back to your apartment door, watching you search for your keys when you realize that you’ve left all of your belongings back at the beach. 

“Shit, I forgot all my stuff at the beach.” You’re lucky for the spare key that you left in the cracks of the door casing. Groggily, you reach upwards before Nanami takes the initiative to assist you before feeling for the small piece of metal. Pushing the key into the lock, he swings the door open for you and switches on the light as you take a step inside. 

“Thank you,” you breathe. 

“I’ll pick up your stuff and bring it to you later tonight,” Nanami says. “Do you need anything else? I can bring you back some food—”

“You’re a really great friend,” you thought aloud, eyes glimmering when you look up at him. “I hope you know that. You really are.”

“(Y/N)—”

“I still don’t want to talk about it,” you sigh. “If that’s what you were gonna ask me— what’s wrong. Just… Have a good night, Kento.”

You left him standing right at your front door, not bothering to tell him to leave. He knows the way out. Maybe he should’ve badgered you more about it, demanding that you give him answers. However, he didn’t want to push you. He didn’t want to push you away if he dared to. Instead, he figured that with due time, you’d come and confide in him like you always did. Never expecting you to just up and leave them all— leaving him.

When he got back, the food he left was still on the bench. Cold, but it’ll have to do. Walking back to the party, they were still joyous. Not suspecting that anything has changed. When Gojo spotted Nanami, his blue eyes behind his shades lit up. “Food’s here!”

Crowding him, they grabbed the bags from his hand and shared it accordingly, passing down the boxes to whoever wanted. Bones and garbage thrown in a pile of an empty takeout box. With a full plate, Nanami spots your beach bag hanging on the back of a foldable chair. With Shoko now occupying your seat, he exhaled when he said excuse me to grab the straps.

“Oh, that’s (Y/N)’s bag,” she immediately recognizes. “Where is she? She was taking a call and then she disappeared!”

“She wasn’t feeling good, so I dropped her home,” Nanami simply explained, only telling half of the truth. However, he didn’t even know if it was a quarter. “She forgot her stuff, so I told her I’d bring her stuff back.”

In immediate understanding, Shoko pouts. “Is she feeling sick? Tell her to make that remedy I’ve been telling you guys about! It should clear up whatever she’s having.”

Not wanting to tell Shoko that no, that’s not what he meant when he said she wasn’t feeling good, he just nods with an ‘okay.’ When he gets back to yours once again, he shifts through your things, ignoring the extra clothes and your hygienic products, grabbing the Kuromi keychain with your keys attached to it. Opening your door, he doesn’t notify you that he’s back. Instead, he sets your bag on the small couch. At the door, he pauses trying to rationalize his decisions one last time. With a heavy breath, he shakes his head.  

He shuts your door gently, sure to lock the bottom lock before a soft thud sounds. The tight feeling tugging at his chest goes ignored as he climbs back in the car and drives off. Unbeknownst to him that that would be his last time with you. That this was the first and last time he’ll be able to taste you. (For a while.)

“She was crying,” he decides to admit. “She wouldn’t tell me what it was about. I offered to take her away so that she can have some space and think before dropping her home. That’s it.”

“That’s it?” Geto asks with a wrinkled brow, suspecting that there’s more to it. “You guys were gone forever. She never once let out a sign telling you that she was going to leave?”

“No,” Nanami shakes his head. “She didn’t say anything to give that sign.”

“Bullshit.” Geto scoffs with a roll of his eyes. “You’re telling me that from all that time, you two were just silent? You both were gone for a suspiciously long time. When you came back, the food was cold!”

“Hey, there’s no need—” Shoko attempts to alleviate the tension between them, gentle hand pressing against Geto’s chest. Geto’s right for his suspicions, the entire retelling Nanami gave had plot holes. There must have been more to it. However, Nanami wasn’t one to lie. 

“Well, that’s the truth,” he says calmly, knowing how this makes him look guilty. “You don’t have to believe me, but it is what happened. If I knew she was leaving, do you really think I wouldn’t tell you guys? We’ve all been messaging her, calling her and trying to get in contact with her. She hasn’t responded back to any of us, so I’m just as in the dark as you all.”

“I don’t know,” Gojo sighs. “It’s just weird that she wouldn’t tell us she was leaving. We would’ve thrown her a goodbye party or a last get together with just the four of us.”

“And she said she was going to renew her VISA when it was close to expiring,” Shoko pouts, face growing solemn at the fact that you were no longer here in Japan.

“Yeah,” Suguru finally comes to his senses. “Something really important must’ve happened for her to just up and leave like this.”

“Do you think she’ll come back?” Gojo puts the idea into the air. It has them all growing silent. Would you come back? Nanami’s hoping so. Left without an answer, all four of them are left to hear the chirp of the birds and cars driving by in the distance. With the sun beating down on them, Nanami wants nothing more than to get back inside his car and drive off so that he can collect his thoughts and emotions. 

When they’re finally all leaving and he’s able to slip himself into the front seat, he’s finally got an answer for himself. Thinking with his head instead of his heart, he tells himself ‘no.’

—

“Baby,” your mother croaks when she opens her eyes, exhaustion running through her mind, she wonders if this is a side effect of cancer. Covered in the thin white hospital sheets, she shivers in the cold as she can barely keep her eyes open. Under the white lights, she feels blinded. “What are you doing here? Aren’t you supposed to be in Japan?”

I should be asking myself the same damn thing. You sigh, shuffling to sit on the edge of the bed. The bed isn’t comfortable at all. You feel as though you’re sitting on a stiff board. You don’t know how your mother can fall asleep like this. “Dad called me.”

It’s all you need to say before the woman’s slowly shaking her head. A pained moan leaves her lips and she tsks, probably cursing a lot of atrocities in her mind. Your mother’s eyes shut before her tongue clicks, a rush of guilt running through her body as she groans. “I told that fool not to call you. Baby, I am so sorry.”

Her apology is genuine, though simple. Bringing herself to sit up, you tried to help her, but she denied the offer. It forces you to watch her struggle, weak and frail arms lifting up her own weight before the blanket tucked over her shoulder falls and reveals the pale blue hospital gown. It did nothing to accentuate your mother’s beauty, no hospital gown did for anyone, but blue was never her color. You hate seeing your mother like this. 

When she’s finally sitting up straight, she exhales in relief before she’s grabbing the remote next to her and turning off the television high up in the corner. You had totally forgotten that it was on and playing. “If I had known that the fool was gonna go against my wishes, I’d have called you and told you to stay.”

“And I’d have probably come down either way,” you joke, but there’s some truth behind your words. Even if she had known what her conniving husband would do, you’d have still come down to see your mother and put your life on pause.

“And I would have all the airlines shut down if you even tried,” your mother weakly laughs. “If you’re trying to win the stubborn Olympics, remember who you got it from. You only got half of the amount that I have.” 

When her chuckle dies down, the crinkles under her eyes disappear. “How was Japan?”

“Japan was fun,” You shrug. It’s not a subject that you want to talk about. Nanami comes to mind, as well as Geto, Gojo and Shoko. You can only think about how shitty you are for leaving so abruptly and unannounced. You’re sure that they’re now aware that you’re gone and thinking that you’re never going to come back. You don’t know if you’ll get the opportunity to, but you’re hoping for it. But for now, you’ll have to come to terms that not only are you a bad friend, but you’ll be missing out on the family you’ve created for yourself. 

Sensing your unwillingness to expand, your mother changes the subject. She’s sure that you’ll talk about it when you feel like it. “How was the flight back?”

“It wasn’t that bad actually,” a conversation that you were willing to have briefly. “But I feel as though I might be catching something? I’ve been feeling hotter than usual, feeling very fatigued and nauseous. It’s probably me being air sick or whatever it’s called.”

“Then why are you sitting on my bed?” She’s quick to shoo you off, kicking you with her foot. Jumping off, you reach for the swivel chair in the corner of the room. “Tryna make me worse than I’m already feeling?”

“Sorry,” you apologize sheepishly. “I wasn’t thinking, but I’m sure it’s just a cold that I can get rid of. Don’t worry.”

“Hmm…” Your mother hums, giving you a quick once over. From your symptoms and how you’re acting, it didn’t seem like you had a cold. “You weren’t having too much fun in Japan, were you? Sounds like you’re pregnant.”

Eyes widening, you grow flustered at your mother’s suggestions. The idea of being pregnant never ran across your mind until now. “What— No! Even if I was, I’ve always been safe.”

Your mom looks at you skeptically, still sticking to her belief. However, not having the strength to debate on the matter, she shrugs. She slowly leans herself back onto the bed and pulls back the sheets over her body. “Mm, okay.”

For the rest of the day, you’ve fallen asleep in the hospital room, terribly made Hallmark movies, and sparked up every conversation that had nothing to do with your time in Japan. However, in the back of your mind, you were thinking about the idea of being pregnant. You hadn’t been safe, not taking the precautions needed when you had told Nanami to cum inside you. So caught up with moving back to the states and your mother’s health, you completely forgot about taking a plan B to prevent it. You were hoping that you were infertile. That maybe God is looking out for you in doing you this one little favor. 

It’s getting late. Visiting hours are going to close soon and your mother’s dozing off for the nth time. Grabbing your hand bag, you let out a heavy sigh of relief the moment you stand. Stretching, you let out a loud yawn that opens your mother’s eyes back as she tilts her head towards you.

“Don’t worry, baby,” she throws you a weak smile as she grabs your attention. “I meant it when I said I was stubborn. Before you know it, I’ll be better and you can go back to Japan. I’ll get out of your hair.” 

And she sounds so sure that for a moment, you forget. You forget how the doctors told you that because of her condition, there won’t be much that they can do. She’ll be discharged soon and you’ll spend most of your days by her side, taking care of her and making her enjoy the last of her moments on Earth. The doctor said the most she had was a year, and you’re planning on making it the most for her. So, instead of popping that bubble, you smile and nod. “Oh, you’re going to beat cancer in the ass. I know it.” 

On the way home, your mother’s words run through your mind again. The idea of you being pregnant sounds blasphemous, not something that you ever imagined for yourself really. However, you find yourself at a pharmacy and purchasing a few pregnancy tests as the cashier gives you a look. You don’t know what to make of it. They look like they’re unsure whether or not to apologize or congratulate you. 

Unlocking the doors of the apartment home you feel as though this is a fever dream, stepping back inside the house you haven’t been inside in years. Your father isn’t home, but it’s not much of a surprise for you. If anything, relief runs through your bones as you drag your suitcases in the direction of your old bedroom before heading inside the bathroom.

All three pregnancy tests read the same thing, two parallel lines right on every one of them. Your heart hammers against your chest as you let out a curse. “Fuck.”

( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡

TWO YEARS LATER 

“The Lord is my shepherd; I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in green pastures: he leadeth me beside the still waters—” Reciting the verse straight from memorization, you keep your head held low as you sniffle. Mucus clogged in your nose, you grab another wad of tissues as your dark shades start slipping. Constantly having to push it up, you’re trying your best to hide the puffiness in your eyes. Your two children are strapped inside their strollers, their favorite toys sitting in the laps with a pack of opened snacks resting along with them. Crumbs dirtying their clothes, the mess goes ignored as they’re silent and unaware of the circumstances. 

Everyone’s dressed in any variation of yellow— your mother’s favorite color. Those who are late trickle in slowly, making sure to tap your shoulder to share their unsaid condolences. Pastor Colsen, a man that was prevalent in your childhood, not only in church but as your uncle ends the prayer with the habitual, “amen,” along with everyone else. 

“Now,” he starts. “My dear sister was… something else. Born to our parents, Anika Colsen and John Colsen, McKayla Colsen-(Y/L/N) was the baby of the family and the only girl. So, you know she was spoiled.”

Garnering a few chuckles from the audience, even a small one from you, he smiles as he cuts through the grim tension of the room in the slightest. “Growing up with her, it was… I always told people that McKayla was someone you had to experience, I couldn’t describe her. Like, my parents made us spread the bed. You know, blah blah blah, responsibilities and all of those excuses— I told myself that they were just lazy people. 

“Anyway, we never had our own rooms, our two older brothers shared their own rooms, but I was stuck sharing with her since I was the third youngest. Now, my brothers made a deal that the last one to wake up would make the bed, so oftentimes, one would try to wake up before the other. I thought it would work the same way with me and McKayla when she was old enough to learn. But,” with a snicker, he shakes his head. “Man, I was wrong!

“I told her that every time she woke up last, she’d make the entire bed, right? She agreed and said, ‘Okay!’ I remembered smiling to myself because she always woke up last, so I’d never have to straighten up the bed. Later that day, though? Mama came home from work asking why only half of the bed was made. Let’s just say my sister could get away with murder if she wanted to because the way she had our parents wrapped around her fingers? Man, I was impressed because she always outbested me—”

All of these stories commemorate your mother and her impact on people’s lives. It made you laugh and provided you momentary happiness, but it also made you even more emotional as it only reminded you that she’s here no longer. Your uncle’s eyes flash towards you. “Before we continue on with the service, we have one more speech from McKayla’s only child, (Y/N Y/L/N).”

Standing up, you shift the stroller towards your father. At the slightest movement, your daughter Tyla whines as you quickly purse your lips to shush her. Approaching the podium, you take the microphone from your uncle as you’re facing everyone. Family and old friends that you haven’t seen in years. They all drove or flew here for this solemn moment in time. Pain etches at your heart as you remind yourself to take deep breaths. They’re patient as you collect yourself, soft nods that tell you to take your time. So you do, and your uncle joins your side again just in case you go through a fainting spell. However, you stand tall on your feet as you gather your composure. “I want to thank you all for coming today. It means a lot to me that we can all meet in one place as a family and come together to commemorate my mother and reminisce about her time on this Earth.”

With a sigh, your body finally relaxes. “I had prepared a speech that talked about how great she was and all my favorite memories with her, but… I don’t want to talk about that. I just want to let go and mourn the loss of my mother. 

“I remember when the twins were born— my girl and boy, Tyla and Yuu…”

You’re lying in the hospital bed. Your body still feels heavy from the epidural, luckily for it, you hadn’t felt a thing. Twins, you can’t help but think. Head falling to the side as your mother’s sitting on the pull out couch with both of them in her hand. She’s been looking much better— healthier and happier. She has a big smile on her face despite the heavy and dark eyebags from her lack of sleep, awake through every hour of your labor (Tried to, at least. She dozed off a couple of times). She stares at your children with adoration in her eyes, sparkling with so much love. 

“You’re gonna look just like your mommy. Look at these ears!” she coos at the girl, noticing the dark complexion of her ears before looking at Yuu. “You— whoever the daddy is, you look like him.”

You didn't have the strength and mental capacity to feel any type of way about the comment. You were hellbent on keeping quiet about your relationships and sexual endeavors, and your mother was forced to accept that. You just had to accept the fact that you’d receive snide remarks about it in return. 

Your dad wasn’t here, not that you minded. He had work to go to and wasn’t willing to call off when your mother phoned him about you going into labor. And considering the nightmare of your birth that your mother had recited to you when she was in labor, you didn’t want your labor to be a stressful process. 

“I wish I had more time.” You hear with a choked sob following. You’ve never seen your mother like this. In such sadness that she’s immediately broken out in tears. It cuts at you, striking dangerously close to your heart. 

“Mom,” you croak, voice dry. You don’t have time to get emotional. This is supposed to be a happy moment. “Don’t get like that.”

“I’m sorry, I just don’t know how much time I’ve got left with y’all,” she cries. 

“You’ll have a lot of time left,” you try cheering her up. “You were the one saying that you’re stubborn as a bull.”

“I didn’t say all that now, but—” Letting out a deep sigh as she flutters away the tears from her eyes. “—you’re right.”

Thanking the crowd for listening, you adorn an aching smile as your uncle walks you back to your seat as your son, Yuu, coos out for you. Grabby hands reach for you, begging to pick them from his seat. Wiping away at your face, you unbuckle his belt and draw him onto your lap. The loud screech from the microphone startles everyone and your uncle smiles sheepishly with a soft apology. “If I knew one thing about my sister is that she loved a good performance, and luckily today, we have two. A dance from my wife and kids, and a song from my dear cousin—”

The funeral service ended up going longer than you expected. The moment it ended, people swarmed you, giving you and your father their condolences or asking about the twins. It was hard keeping a smile on your face, plastering a faux one every time someone approached you and reached for one of them. You understood not seeing a lot of relatives in years— most from when you were a child— but it bothered you how none of them asked, instead picking them up without a second thought. You didn’t want to seem cold and a nuisance, especially on a day like this, so you didn’t say anything.

Your mother wanted to be cremated. “Keep me living on,” she told you. “I want to be a tree.”

It was something you wanted to do privately, not with a crowd of over one hundred people. So instead of going to a burial, you and the herd immediately went to the venue that you had set up for the funeral reception. The temporary time of mourning is gone and celebration set in the works. Your car was the first to arrive with plenty of vehicles following in tow. Turning off the car, your back hits the carseat in exhaustion. You shut your eyes, not wanting to move and contemplating on starting the engine up again and head back home. The past couple of days had been hard on you, especially the night before with prepping the venue. You had spent until two in the morning getting it ready as a few (untrustworthy) family members had called out on helping you and only leaving you with two people. 

Two people from your high school that you could barely remember, but it was nice catching up with them nonetheless. Even with their help, it went slowly as the tape you had wasn’t strong enough to hold a lot of the decorations and you weren’t allowed to use thumb tacks. However, with a lot of layers of the adhesive and a few drinks, by the time you went home, you left with the place being in a pleasant sight. 

White tablecloths with yellow and gold accents, the color scheme was something you tackled with for a while, but you ended up pulling it off well, harmonious balance of the colors. The fake flowers on the table sat nicely in the small glass vases with clear and white marbles and stones. The circular tables sat around the wooden dance floor and a stage in front. The DJ you rented for the time had his equipment already set up as the stage had balloons and decorations hanging from the edge of it. Towards the back of the room, where the kitchen was, you had to do a lot of cleaning after seeing the muck and grime sticking to the countertops from the previous renters. 

Now, it was clean and shining as aluminum containers rested on the countertops, soon needing to be moved to rest on the elongated foldable tables with white plastic table coverings over them. Pushing the stroller, you have already staked your claim at a table, it being on the far right and closest to the stage. Yuu has fallen asleep, his head lolling to the side as drool runs down his face. His chubby cheeks squished down against the stroller. He’s got lighter complexion than you and his twin sister, with light blond curls littering his head but other than that, his hair is prominently dark. Your mother was right, his features matched more with his father’s. Almond shaped eyes that perfectly went with Nanami’s and nose shape like his, the only thing that you could say was yours was the hair texture and lips. 

Your daughter, Tyla, has more of your features. Monolids like her father’s but her face structure like yours, the way she’d twist and frown reminded everyone, including yourself, of you. However, their personalities are swapped. They were both emotional, but in their own way. Tyla was a firecracker when she got angry, while Yuu pulled out the waterworks whenever things didn't go smoothly. Yuu clung to you, the shy one of the two whereas Tyla was more outgoing and accepting of people. They were opposite elements and definitely a handful, but they made your life bright. Considering all the darkness the past few years, you needed the light. 

People started trickling in in crowds, filling up the building quickly. Most were finding the perfect table to sit at, others headed over to you. They pulled you into deep hugs, rocking you back and forth endearingly.

You thought you’d dread this time out, but you enjoyed it. Maybe it was the drinks, the loud music, and all the chattering going on. You had a little niece willing to watch after the twins, giving you the freetime to catch up with who you wanted and enjoy yourself. By the time you’re leaving the venue, after cleaning up, it’s four in the morning. The twins are fast asleep and you fear you might fall asleep behind the wheel, but you make it home safely. 

Unlocking the door, the house is pitch black. You expected your dad to be home, but his car isn’t outside. Pushing the stroller inside carefully, you flicker on the lights with a heavy sigh. You plop down on the couch, taking a few moments to yourself. Your feet ache and the silence is tranquil. Stretching your body out, you hear all the creaks in your muscles. You close your eyes before you’re quickly dozing off, jolting up when you remember the two slumber bodies.

Tiredly do you bring them to bed, stripping them of their shoes and tucking them nicely into their respective spots. You follow in tune with them, stripping yourself out of your bra from underneath the dress you’re wearing and throwing it in the direction of the hamper. Did it make it? You’ll have to see the next morning. You carefully climb underneath the covers, getting yourself cozy next to the small two bodies. The air conditioner kicks in, making your body shiver as the vent breathes life directly onto you. You snuggle deeper into the sheets as sleep calls your name, gently shutting your eyes and kissing you a good night. 

—

For the past two years, Nanami has made it a routine to open his contacts list on his phone and stare at your name. He’s got your phone number memorized by heart, and that app you had told him about all those years ago. What was it called again? Whatsapp— it’s on his phone, and your number is active. It says that you're online now. Should I call her? 

He’s been asking himself this ever since he found out you left. He’s been asking himself if he should take the risk. And when his finger hovers over the call icon, taunting him to do it, he backs out at the last second. You’ve ignored countless messages and phone calls, what’s the point in it now? 

However, he’s curious. After all this time and absence, would you answer? Would your guilty conscience eat at you and you’d answer? Or maybe it will tell you the opposite and you'll keep avoiding it. His heart is begging him to call, but his mind tells him no. And like every other day, he swipes out of the app and shuts his phone. Stuck in the small cubicle with no fancy decorations, nothing to personalize it, Nanami focuses back on the monitor in front of him. Mouse swiping across from document to document. Heavy eye bags hanging from his eyes, round spectacles dipping from the brim of his nose. 

A yawn leaves his mouth, hand reaching to cover it as his mind is too stimulated to focus. Looking at the time, it's still too early on in his shift. However, it doesn't stop him from taking up his phone and typing in the group chat that he shared with his friends. They haven't met up in a while and he thinks it's time for a needed break. He doesn't have work tomorrow and any significant plans that call for attention anyways. 

And when they all agree, he feels a sense of relief, loosening the animal print tie and undoing a few buttons of his top before letting out a heavy breath. Yeah, he deserves a breather. 

It's a Friday evening, so of course, the club is packed. However, it doesn't stop the anxious feeling that reverberates through Nanami's chest as he follows Gojo, Shoko, and Geto in tow. Neon lights that flash through the dark room as he can already feel the heat of the building pushing past the crowd of people. Sorry's leave his lips when someone bumps into him and he's forced to put his hands on them. The soft and gentle touch against their shoulder causes them to look up. When he makes accidental eye contact, an apology is already tugging at his lips and he mutters below his breath. They can't hear him, but they've quickly lost interest the moment he's walking out of sight. 

All gathering together in vacant seats around the bar, they're all dressed in work attire. Nanami has left his khaki blazer in the back seat of his car as well as his tie. His button-up shirt has been loosened as light chest hair peaks from the available skin he's showing. 

Gojo's got the sleeves of his shirt rolled up above his elbows, sporting the same style as the blond— peaks of his pale and smooth chest left for women to ogle. Geto's in a loose fitted sweater, black and thick and he surely won't be able to survive the couple hours spent here. Shoko's replaced her scrubs top for a regular t-shirt, the striped colored top fitting snug on her body while the bottoms are baggy and fit like joggers. They stick out from the ones planning to party, all dressed in club wear while the next group pay their respects to them for making time out of their day to let loose. 

Nanami's surprisingly the first one to order a drink— a can of beer that he pops open and takes a heavy swig of. Eyes on him, his long-time friends aren't so shocked, more so amused. 

"Long day, huh?" Shoko sighs, next to order a drink. A question directed to Nanami, but Gojo answers instead.

"Oh, don't get me started!" His shoulders slump dramatically, posture falling as the dark glasses he wears slips off his face. "The kids were atrocious today! Only to find out it's a full moon and—"

Nanami only permits himself to down another can of beer while the rest of them take comfort on the dancefloor. The EDM plays loudly over the speakers as the DJ bops his head to the music. He takes up a lot of space, arms stretching over the countertop as people squeeze by him. A woman has been eyeing him down for the past hour, hoping that the few times that they've made eye contact, he'd take the initiative, but never did. In fact, Nanami never really noticed the woman. 

In a red dress that hugged to every dip and curve, a salacious thing she is. Long and dark hair that falls past her shoulders and reaches her waist. Her makeup was bold and beautiful even. She’s a beautiful woman, but the blond wasn't really interested. A hook-up wasn't something he wanted. Needed, yes, but that's what his friends thought, and he continued denying. 

"Hey!" The woman shouted over the speakers. Calling for his attention, Nanami's met with brown eyes dipped in lust. With so much sultry in them, it should be evident of her intentions. 

"Oh." Pulling his hands down from the bar, he stands up. "Sorry, am I in your way?"

"No, no," she giggles. "You're fine. I actually came over because I noticed you were alone."

"Oh?" Taken aback, he squirms. If the woman notices, she doesn’t say anything. If anything, she perks up at the fact that she has been noticed. Her red lips smile, posture straightening to have her breasts protrude. 

“Yeah,” she says, testing the waters and entering his personal space. Her nimble fingers travel up to his forearm. “Wanted to know if you needed to warm the other side of your bed tonight.”

Before her hand can travel any higher to rest on his heft bicep, Nanami gently reaches out for it and pushes it away. “Sorry, you’re a gorgeous woman and you seem very sweet, but I’m not interested.”

“Oh,” her shoulders drop, losing her confidence as she looks back towards the crowd and back at him. “Okay, sorry.”

She’s hesitant to leave, and following the direction of where she’s constantly looking back at, his eyes fall onto the three lovely ladies that seem to be her friends. He understands her reluctance now, having been in plenty of situations like this himself. There were countless times where his friends tried hooking him up with a girl or planning blind dates for him. To appease their obnoxious pleas, he’d agree only for him to end the date there and drive the expecting woman back home once the coast was clear. 

With the group’s eyes waiting expectantly for something to happen, Nanami’s shoulders fall. “Your friends put you up to it?”

“Yeah,” she sheepishly nods. “I don’t usually dress like this… Not to say I wasn’t interested in you, I was! But—”

“No need to explain yourself,” he says. “I understand. If you want—” He doesn’t know if he’ll regret this or not, but to do a good deed? It’ll probably make this night better. “— You can stay here with me. Make it seem like you scored for the night.”

“Really?” She smiles appreciatively as Nanami sits down, motioning for the free barstool next to him. Climbing up, the short dress rides up and she has to tug it down to its original length. “Thank you so much. I didn’t want to have to go back and hear their pity. What’s your name, by the way? I didn’t catch it.”

“Nanami,” he answers, motioning for the bartender. Another drink won’t hurt him. “Yours?”

“Minosaki,” she smiles sweetly. “Nice to meet you.”

Lips covered in red lipstick stains, Nanami wakes up in instant regret as his body comes back to life. His phone is blaring, his alarm clock sounding in the distance as he forgot to turn it off. In the back pocket of his khaki slacks, they’ve been discarded in last night’s escapades and rest in front of his bed. Throwing off the sheets from his body, his bare body is open to the comforts of his bedroom as he reaches for the pants and reaches for the light piercing through the fabric. Swiping the screen and finally ending the sound that’s not at all relaxing as it claims to be, Nanami lets out a sigh as his chest gradually calms. 

Of course, the other side of his bed is empty. He curses to himself. So much for not being interested.

( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡

THREE YEARS LATER

One of the last things your mother said to you, she told you to stop living your life for other people. Mainly talking about how you dropped your life back in Japan to come to her aid. Watching you slave away doing things you didn’t need to for the sake of her and your father, working endless hours to make ends meet and go above and beyond. She had to sit you down after seeing you on the verge of a breakdown.

“Listen,” she sighed. “It's no longer just you, it's you and your twins now. You need to stop worrying about me and your dad. We'll be fine."

She wouldn’t have your excuses. The moment you opened your mouth to reiterate how you needed to be there for her, she silenced you. “I don’t want to hear what you’ve got to say. I want you to be happy. With your kids.”

You’ve been thinking about that short instance for the past few months (more like a year, but you’ve been in denial about it). Your job is well paying, you can afford to move out now. Get a place for you and your twins. As they get older, sharing a room with them isn’t acceptable. Now that your mother is gone, you don’t need to be here anymore. However, something— someone— is holding you back. 

It’s as if he detects when you’re unhappy and contemplating on moving, reminding you of all the debt he’s in because of you. And while your job has a well-paying salary, it doesn’t mean that you can clear all of his debt in the snap of a finger. He’s got you tethered to him in the name of money, finding out that he’s been using your mother’s retirement and insurance money to gamble. There are other miniscule matters that he let rack up to higher and higher, pinning the responsibility on you. 

Every time you think about the idea of moving out, you’re reminded of this visceral need to make sure your father’s in good hands by the time you’re ready and sure you’ll leave. 

“You should go back to Japan,” your mother suggested. “You were the happiest there.”

“What about Yuu and Tyla?” You’d have thought about that countless times before, but always found it unattainable now that you’re back in the states. “They’re already so accustomed here. Packing up and leaving doesn’t sound reasonable.”

“Oh, they’ll be fine,” your mother fans off your excuse. “They’re still really young and they haven’t started school yet. If you explained that you were going to move somewhere else, I’m sure they’d get all excited.”

“And what about you and dad?” You huff. “How am I just supposed to leave knowing that the house will be in shambles without me?”

“First of all,” your mother points at you. “I’m still alive and standing, and as long as I’m alive, it’ll stay that way. And when I’m gone, that man can rot for all I care about.”

You didn’t understand why your mother had said it with so much venom, eyes cutting off at you at the mere thought of her husband. When you tried to push her to elaborate, she got up and left. Just like you, the moment she said she didn’t want to talk about it, she refused your constant pressing and badgering about it. When she passed away and you voiced to your father about moving out, it’s when he sprung up his financial irresponsibilities to you. And finally, you understood your mother’s anger. You just wished she had told you about it. Maybe if handled sooner, you would’ve been able to leave a long time ago. 

Staring at the pile of bills, crossing off the checklist of the ones that you already paid for you, you discarded them in the shredder that’s close to breaking down any second. The television’s on, playing a rerun of Bubble Guppies as the twins are on the ground playing with their toys. They’re four years old and tall for their age, another thing they got from Nanami. You’ve been growing Yuu’s hair out, currently braided back in cornrows while Tyla’s hair is combed back in one. It’s always a struggle getting her to sit down for a long period of time to finish her hair. With such a tender scalp, you often had to take out the cornrows after she woke up in the middle of the night crying about them. 

As much as you’d like to spend some time with them right now, the pile of bills keeps growing and you don’t have a moment to just relax. Pushing aside the papers, you reach for your laptop. It seems like the only break you can get is to worry about the next thing. Your mom wanted you to be selfish and while your selflessness is begging for you to stay, there’s a stronger urge for you to give you father a big ‘Fuck You’ to his face. 

His phone call was the very thing that got you back here, feeding on your aim to please. You had originally left to give yourself a lot of distance from your parents, to find yourself. However, here you are, losing yourself all over again. You’re subconsciously typing into the search engine, ‘How long does it take to get a Japanese VISA?’ before clicking enter. 

You need this. Your children need this. They need a home where they have the comforts of your own bed. They need a home where their grandfather doesn’t come back home drunk after his gambling endeavors and being forced to lock themselves in the bedroom when he decides to put on a drunken show. They deserve a mother that can throw genuine smiles in an environment that you’re ultimately happy— with them. A change in scenery would work, whether you moved across the street or to an entirely different state. However, you long back for the times you spent in Japan. The places you’ve been and seen, the people you’ve met, the friends you’ve made—

That pang of guilt bit at your heart again. The friends you’ve made and left without as much as a text goodbye and an explanation. They would’ve understood your reasoning, the immediate need to turn back. However, so high strung on emotions, you acted on impulse and didn’t think things through. You hate yourself for it and if you were them, you wouldn’t forgive yourself.

So as you’re sitting in front of the laptop screen, reading the kanji on screen, you let out a deep sigh as you feel two hands press against your thigh as your son crawls into your lap. “What’chu doing, ummy?” 

Back to sorting out the bills, you shut down the laptop as you kiss Yuu’s forehead. He grimaces in your hold, scrunching his face at your show of affection. At his squeaky ‘ew’, you plant more on his forehead before he’s laughing out, “Ummy!”

You giggle before pulling away. “Mommy’s working on stuff. Are you guys hungry?”

Head throwing back to look at Tyla, the prospect of food makes her eyes sparkle as she looks up. Simultaneously, the two exclaim, “yes!”

—

You were trying to be a better person, but you know that your father didn’t deserve an explanation for your departure. It took you a while to accept the fact that you didn’t need to take care of your father. That if he had the strength to spend all of his money on gambling, drugs and alcohol, like it could fill his belly, then he didn’t deserve all the time you spent looking after him. He ignored your cries and attempted to get him help, shouting at you like you’re a child instead of hearing you out. So, you resorted to more desperate and harsh measures, enrolling him into rehab. He protested and spit such venom that you dare yourself not to think about as you’re boarding you and your twins onto the plane. 

The carry on bag you have is all packed with the acceptable snacks and food needed to endure this long trip. It’s four in the morning and you’re struggling to maneuver down the thin aisle of seats, constantly bumping into people while they have the audacity to throw you such a venomous glare. Can they not see you handling two kids on top of your carry-on? 

Exhaling the moment you arrive at your seats, you set down Yuu first in the window seat, gently resting his head. Tyla’s in the middle seat with you taking the end seat. You roll your shoulders and neck, letting all the kinks out as you’ve got the day cut out for you. However, for now, you fall into a deep slumber along the comforting silence. 

You’ve rented out a three bedroom condominium apartment. Newly built homes in Tokyo that you miraculously managed to succeed in getting after badgering the landlords repetitively. Meeting the landlords for the key, they were pleasantly surprised to see a foreigner. You took their shock as a compliment, meaning that your Japanese was still good after all this time away. Handing you the keys with reluctance, you don’t think too much in the interaction before heading to the elevators. 

“Wow, mommy,” Tyla marvels at the interior of the building lobby. Cream-painted walls and brown accents. The photos that hang are replicas, gold frames in pristine condition as the twins stop periodically to look at them. “So beautiful!” 

You chuckle at Tyla’s amazement, constantly looking behind you to make sure that they can keep up with you. Him and Tyla were working together on bringing up a suitcase as you dragged along the next two. “Ummy, Is this our new home?”

“Yes, baby,” you smile. They seem to be approving it, accepting their new home— of Japan. But you need more validation, you need to hear them say ‘yes.’ “Do you guys like it so far?”

"Yeah," they both sigh simultaneously. When the elevator doors open, you hold the door open for the two before tussling in yourself with the heavy luggages. The clean and pristine metal walls are able to hold all three of them including the added weight. Their eyes sparkle as they grip the handles of the elevator the moment the doors shut and it moves. 

It's all that you need to make your heart skip a beat, because you like it so far, too.

—

The three of you were stuck sharing one room again. You had ordered furniture before the move, striking up deals with second-hand sellers and bidders online and clicking on reasonable deals through websites. However, they wouldn’t be coming until the next few days or so. You had prepared for this, buying two blow up mattresses that you had set up to sleep on in the meantime. You explained to the twins that they were going to have their own room from now on, so they can have their own space. You figured because they’re so young now, it was best that they shared one room together rather than splitting them up so early. 

Considering that they would have each other, you thought they would be able to go through the night together on their own. However, when it came time for bed, they both crept in your room five minutes later telling you that they were scared. You were so close to drifting to sleep, the loud bang of the door startling you awake to the two small bodies. Heart racing, you clutched your chest as you controlled your breathing. You gasped, “What?”

“I can’t sweep,” Yuu whines. 

“Me, too,” Tyla joins in with a pout. “Can we sleep in here?”

Sighing, your head hits the pillow again as you let out a meek, “yes, come in.”

They climbed under the covers, getting closer to you until they were practically on top of you. They felt more relaxed in your arms, heads resting against your chest and falling asleep to the sound of your heartbeat. And you felt better with them next to you. Instinctively, your hand reaches their heads. Hair covered with their bonnets, you stroke them tenderly as their bodies lie pliant on the bed. In about half an hour, they fall asleep smoothly after having such a long day. 

You fall asleep fifteen minutes later. For the first time in a long time, not worrying about the next day. 

—

You've been living off takeout food for the past couple of days and it's not good (despite how much your kids love it). Luckily, one stress has gone out the way, the furniture you had pre-ordered had finally come in. Now your home was filled with boxes and furniture that you would need to rearrange later on that day, adding onto your to-do list. However, you couldn’t run on an empty stomach and neither could your children. Another day of eating out, they surprisingly adjusted well to the different foods. While in America, you had made the majority of their foods from your culture. Once in a while would remember a recipe and make it, but they found themselves favoring the other. You wondered if it said something about your cooking for Japanese food. 

Now, you’re down the aisles of a grocery store, pushing a shopping cart as your two swings on the end. Humming the song playing over the speakers, you grabbed from the shelves, picking up simple kitchen appliances that you missed. You were planning on enrolling the twins into school, making sure to check when they were accepting new students for preschool. You picked up cute bento boxes, calling out for their attention. “Tyla, Yuu. Do you like these?”

You had decided to keep it simple, knowing that Tyla kept changing her favorite colors very frequently. The last time you asked her what it was, she said it was green. Holding up a green one and a blue one, you expected it to be fine. However, Tyla was wearing that frown on her face that made your shoulders drop. “No! I want the blue one!”

“I want the blue one!” Yuu frowned, tears quickly embedded in his eyes. You let out a huff as you accidentally had set off the waterworks. Before they can start bickering any further, you set down the green bento box and reach for another one. 

“It’s okay,” you quickly cut in between the two of them, watching Tyla’s hand raise to hit her brother. “You both can have blue. You guys can decorate it with stickers so I know which one’s whose.” 

That easily appeased them, hearing their cheers as they followed behind you when you started to push the cart. 

Now in the produce section, you’re picking up a daikon. Yuu, your most inquisitive child, leans over to look at every fruit and vegetable that he’s not familiar with. “Ummy, what’s dat?”

“Daikon,” you answer, placing it in your cart. “It’s a white radish.”

“Oh!” Yuu exclaims. “And what’s a radish—”

Trailing shortly after you, Geto’s speechless. Holding a green basket, he makes sure he’s gentle and silent on his feet as he peers down the aisle. When he heard your voice, he easily mistook you for another foreigner. However, when he glanced up and saw those features, that familiar face? He knew it was you. He felt like he was punched in the chest, breath taken away from him. To see your two children with you, he’d have never imagined it. 

You still look the same, but more matured— tired. Your hair’s been neatly combed back, the gel keeping every curly strand down. The children— your children— look like you, and they can’t be more than four or five years old. Frozen at the spot, Geto comes to a realization. You left about five years ago. Is that why you left? He’s asking himself.

Pulling out his phone, he feels a little guilty for taking a picture, sending the picture to Shoko rather than Gojo. He’ll blab about it and tell the entire world. Sending the picture, he adds, Look at who I saw at the store. 

He’s wondering if he should approach you, confront you. He wants to, badly. However, when you’re spinning around, his first instinct is to turn the other way. Scurrying out of your sight, he heads back to the entrance and drops the basket right where he found it. 

His phone vibrates, a loud ringtone sounding outside as he’s hit by the bright rays of the sun. He answers the phone immediately. 

“Woah!” he’s bombarded with Shoko’s shock. “Is that—”

She can’t bring herself to say your name, the moment she opened her messages, her eyes popping out widely as she saw the familiar face and two children with you. Imagination running wild, Shoko wonders if you even left Japan. Maybe you had moved away somewhere else because you were pregnant, scared to confide in them and thought they’d be ashamed of you. No, that couldn’t be it. The automated voice had said that they couldn’t reach you because your phone was no longer in state. You had left miles upon miles away from them. But was it just because you were pregnant?

“Yeah,” Geto exhales. 

“And the kids,” Shoko continues. “They’re hers. They can’t be no more than five, so she was pregnant when she left.”

“That’s what I said,” Geto unlocks his car door, climbing in. 

“Why wouldn’t she tell us?” Shoko pouts on the other line. It was a good thing that she was on her lunch break. “We would’ve understood. We would’ve supported her.”

“I don’t know,” Geto sighs. “I don’t know. A part of me is still mad at her.”

“Understandable,” Shoko hums. “Did you talk to her?”

“No,” Geto immediately says. “What would I even say to her?”

“There’s a lot you could’ve said,” Shoko scoffs. “Hi, hello. How are you? Why’d you leave without saying anything?”

“Yeah, but I fear I would’ve blown up on her. Not in front of her kids.”

“You’re right,” Shoko sighs. “Did you tell Gojo? Nanami?”

“No,” Geto says. “I went straight to you. Gojo would’ve told everyone.”

“What about Nanami?” Shoko inquires. “Why didn’t you tell Nanami?”

That was a good question. Why didn’t he tell Nanami? However, the more he thinks about it, the more things start to connect. “Hey, do you remember the night of the bonfire— how Nanami told us that (Y/N) was crying.”

“Yeah, wait— Oh. My. Gosh!” Shoko gasps. “You think—? It makes so much sense now? They slept together! Do you think Nanami knows?” 

“Of course not,” Geto scoffs. “I feel like he’d chase her down if he did.”

“Wow,” Shoko breathes. “I’m in disbelief, but it’s reasonable. They always made googly eyes at each other. Why did we never try getting them together?”

“Because we’d be three dead people,” Geto chuckles. “Nanami would’ve killed us for sure if we tried.” 

“That’s so… sad,” Shoko pouts on the other line. Geto agrees with a soft ‘yeah’. “Should we tell Nanami?”

“No,” Geto rationalizes. “I think (Y/N) has to explain things for herself. See if she comes to us first.”

—

You don’t know who’s more scared— you or your children. Anxiety sets on your chest, bubbling over as you turn the car off in the school parking lot. You have completed the necessary forms needed to enroll them, where they’re able to start on the Monday coming up. However, you wanted a tour of the school to see if it was right for the twins. You also worried about them being right next to a secondary school, not sure how the school separated them from intermingling with each other. 

“I don’t want to go to school, Ummy,” Yuu whined.

“Yeah, I want to stay with you all day,” Tyla joins in with a pout. 

Part of you considers keeping them for another year, but you already feel so bad for how sheltered they’ve been. They need to socialize with kids their age. School would be a good thing for them. “But if you guys go to school, you’ll make a lot of friends! You’ll play with toys and learn new stuff! Doesn’t that sound fun?”

“No,” they frown, making your shoulders slump. 

“But that will make mommy really happy,” you try tugging at their emotions. “Don’t you want to make mommy happy?”

When they both eagerly nod, you smile. “Then you’re going to have to go to school, okay?”

With a disgruntled okay, they give in. Unlocking the door, you help them out of their carseats before crossing the street. Entering the building, you’re greeted to the small confines of an office, a security guard lounging in the chair and nearly half asleep. When he hears the chime of the bell, he jolts up and immediately clears his throat at the sight of three people in front of him. “Hello, um… What are you here for?”

“I had spoken to someone a week prior to taking a tour of the school,” you explain. “Is someone still available to show me around?”

The tour of the school ended up successful. Walking around the school, Tyla and Yuu got to see almost every crack and crevice there were. Playground equipment set out back, they were overjoyed to see that they weren’t just going to be cooped up inside learning. They even got a chance to meet the other students, administration giving them access to the classroom to see the other students working in real time. The teacher of the classroom seemed nice from what you could make of her in the fifteen minutes that you were there. She had the class introduce themselves to the twins. It seemed that a lot of the students were of different descents, their parents not being a native to the country as well. It made you feel a lot better to know that they’d feel a bit of comfort around people that are also different. 

It was hard to convince them to go to school, but it ended up being harder for them to leave. Walking out the building with two crying children in your arms, you were lucky that the parking lot was mainly empty when finally departing. Huffing as you steadied them onto their feet the moment the doors shut, you frowned as you stooped to their level. All three of you were frowning, all for different reasons.

“I wan’ta to go back inside,” Yuu pouts. Tyla nodded in agreement with a deep whine leaving her lips.

“And you will,” you assure them. “On Monday.”

Again, they groan. “That’s too long!”

“No, it’s not!” You gasp. “It’s only in… checking the date, four days.”

“Four is a big number!” Tyla juts her bottom lip out. You shrug. “Well, it’ll go by even faster if you guys stop crying—”

Gojo was getting back from his lunch break, running off school grounds quickly to grab a wrap and a drink to fill his belly before another class came in. In his small black Honda, Gojo circles the parking lot of the high school, heading to his typical parking spot only to realize it’s been taken. Grunting, he rolls his eyes as every spot is occupied now. It’s in the middle of the school day, who else could’ve possibly come at this hour?

“Now I have to turn back around and park in the damn primary school lot,” he huffs to himself, speeding out of the area. Pulling into the elementary school, he’s circling around when he notices the three figures. A parent kneeling down and talking to their children, it was an ordinary sight to him until he saw their— your— face turn. Immediately his foot hit the brakes, causing his body to jolt forward as he peeked through the window. He pulls down the dark shades, squinting to see if he’s not mistaken and that is you. 

Immediately, he puts the car in park, not hesitating to jump out and see for himself. The sun beats down against him as he runs a finger through the white locks, combing it back. As he gets closer, his heart beats even faster. He feels like it could burst the moment you notice him approaching, standing tall on your feet as you are taken aback, too. 

“Gojo…” you breathe. Reaching for your children’s hand, you clutch them and they move closer to you. 

“Hey,” he exhales. There’s a silence that grows between you, neither one of you aware of how to continue the conversation. However, Gojo’s taking the initiative. “How’ve you… been?”

“I’ve been okay…good,” you nod. “I just moved back recently actually. I’ve been meaning to—”

You stop yourself because you don’t want to lie. Were you meaning to call them? So busy with everything, the thought only crossed your mind a couple of times before you shut the idea down completely. You were hoping to reunite with them, but you didn’t know how to go about it. Noticing the shift, Gojo decides to ignore your last comment, eyes sparking at the fact that you just moved back.

“Ah,” he nods. “What made you come back?”

He didn’t ask why you left. You appreciated that. “I missed it. Wanted to be somewhere where I was happy.”

If you wanted to be happy, then you should have never left. Gojo doesn’t say it out loud, only thinking about it. Eyes glancing down to the two hiding behind you, he smiles brightly at them. “And who are these two beautiful children?”

“Oh!” you look behind you, motioning for them to stop hiding behind you. They protest, so you give up with a sigh. “Sorry, they’re shy. These are my twins, Tyla—” You point on your right side, then your left. “—And Yuu.”

Bending to their heights, Gojo rummages through his pockets. In front of Tyla, he pulls out a sweetie. “Hey, you like candy, right?”

With a faint nod, Tyla watches as Gojo holds out the pink wrapper for her to take. With small nimble fingers, she takes it and immediately opens. “And guess what? It makes you grow super long hair, like… like Rapunzel!”

Perking up at that, Tyla leaves from her hiding spot and pops the candy in her mouth. “I love Rapunzel!”

“And… Yuu, right?” Gojo smiles brightly at the young boy. “Do you want superpowers?”

Yuu nods quietly, still a bit apprehensive about the white haired man. He clings tightly to your leg. He has a horrible habit of sucking on his thumb when he’s scared. He watches Gojo pull out a green wrapper. 

“What if I tell you,” Gojo whispers, putting one hand on the right side of his face. He pauses, looking from side to side. You smile endearingly at the engagement, seeing Gojo interact with your twins. “That this gives you every superpower humanly possible?”

“Weally?” Yuu asks with his thumb still in his mouth. Hesitantly, he takes the candy, still inspecting it. Gojo eagerly hums in affirmation. 

“Yes, but you can’t tell anyone, okay?” Gojo says. “You can only tell your mommy and sister.”

“But you know my secwet now,” Yuu hums, making Gojo chuckle at how bright your kid is. 

“Yes, but I’m going to erase my memory, so that I don’t remember, okay?” The adult male assures Yuu. “I won’t remember a thing we talked about.”

“Okay,” Yuu nods, more assured as unwraps the candy and puts it in his mouth. Slowly does Yuu come out of his hiding spot, smiling brightly at the sweet taste. “Thank you!”

“No problem, kid,” Gojo stands tall. Checking the time, he softly curses to himself. “Ah, I have to go, but— is your number still the same?”

Your heart pangs against your chest, but you’re truthful. “No.”

“Can I get it?” Gojo asks, blue eyes hopeful. With a deep sigh, you nod. You can’t hide from them forever. You’ll have to get through the awkwardness if you want to make amends with them all. Exchanging numbers, Gojo smiles when he saves it on his phone. “It was really nice seeing you again, (Y/N).”

“It was nice seeing you, too,” you smile. 

Striding away, you watch Gojo stride in the direction of the high school before he’s groaning again, remembering that his car is in the middle of the road. Spinning around, he smiles at you sheepishly before jogging to his vehicle. You chuckle to yourself lightly, before you’re holding onto Yuu and Tyla’s hand again. “Okay, let’s go.”

“Who was that man, Ummy?” Yuu asks. Crossing the street as you watch Gojo drive off, you let out a sigh.

“He’s an old friend of mine.”

—

Tyla and Yuu love school. For now. Once the workload builds up and that first adrenaline rush wears off, they’ll realize how long their days are and desperately want to go home. You’ve been searching for companies willing to hire, sending and emailing your resume and cover letters. You’re constantly translating your stuff back and forth, making sure your Japanese still makes sense. You’re trying to be patient, but you’ve never liked waiting for too long. 

Clicking submit on yet another application, you decide to shut your laptop. You’re starting to get a headache and you deserve a few minutes to yourself. It was awfully silent. No children running down the halls; no toys clattering on the ground; no television playing in the background. It was pitch silent. It was a love-hate situation that you’ll have to force yourself to get accustomed to. Pulling yourself out of the comforts of your bed, you climb out and head to the kitchen. 

Dressed comfortably, you’re sporting a bonnet on top of your head. It hugging you tightly as you have every strand hidden underneath. The spaghetti-strapped tank top is loose-fitted as your breasts threaten to spill out when a strap hangs off your shoulder. You’ve rid yourself of a bra, luckily one of the first things you’ve done to your house was hang up the curtain rods. You didn’t need anyone seeing you strutting around in your panties either. 

With the refrigerator wide open, you pull out a cool bottle of water and your leftovers from the night before. When the refrigerator door shuts with a silent slam, you lean against the kitchen counter as you shut your eyes for the moment. You feel relaxed. There’s no sound of your father coming in and out of the home. None of his drunk nonsense and none of his reminders that the bills aren’t paid for. You feel at peace.

Before you could fall asleep standing up, you hear the faint chime of your phone’s ringtone. You let out a breath, not sure if you want to give it any attention, so you let it ring. It’s a soft melody that’s said to be relaxing. However, the more and more it rings, the more it becomes rather obnoxious. With a faint groan, you shoot open your eyes and follow the ring. 

Your phone’s resting on the bed. Reaching for it, the four-letter word pops up on screen, Satoru. 

The moment Gojo was free, the last bell of the day ringing, he was quick to pack up his bag and head right through the door along with the students. The pile of ungraded work would have to wait for the next day. He couldn’t concentrate anyway, his mind still running on you. Pulling out his phone, he heads to his contacts, but he’s not sure who to call first. Geto? Shoko? Nanami? 

Heading to the group chat they shared, he quickly typed ‘Answer me. It’s important.’ He barely gave them any time to read the message before he clicked on the video icon, requesting that they all Facetimed together. The first attempt failed, but he was persistent, calling again. Work be damned, he found this more important.

On the second attempt, Nanami accepted first before Geto and Shoko followed shortly in suit. They all seemed unhappy, their workplaces in the background coming to light. All their faces spoke, What now? We’re busy. “I saw (Y/N).”

Shoko and Geto had to fake their surprise, already aware that they were back in the country. Nanami’s reaction was all too natural, his disbelief silent as Shoko let out a gasp. “What? Where—”

Her faux shock was believable, and even if not, Gojo didn’t take the time to process it. He just kept going. “She was enrolling her kids at the primary school right next to mine. I was coming off my lunch break when I saw her. Nearly ran over the curb.”

“Wait,” Geto stopped Gojo. “She has kids? As in plural?”

“”Plural? You’re worrying about plural?” Gojo scoffed. “I’m shocked she had any at all. I’m kind of wondering who the dad is. They’re no older than five, hm…”

It grows silent. Through the camera screen, Geto and Shoko make eye contact. Faint nods that go unnoticed as Nanami takes everything in. You’re back and you have kids… And they’re around five years old. He doesn’t know what to make of this situation, mind running from one thought to another, Nanami’s overwhelmed. He’s drowned out the three other voices, unaware of his surroundings as he’s stuck inside the office. The phone’s ringing, but he doesn’t know if it’s for him. He leaves it unanswered. 

“Nanami,” his name’s being called. Or at least, he thinks. “Nanami.”

“Yeah?” He speaks gruffly.

“Can you make it?” Gojo asks. He sparked up the last minute idea to host a dinner to reunite everyone. It was something you could decline, but they were all willing to try. They needed answers. 

“Uh, yeah,” Nanami agreed, not knowing what he was getting himself into. “Just send me the date and time. I’ll make arrangements if needed.”

“We’re having a little dinner and game night this Friday, and I wanted to see if you were up for it,” Gojo sounds hopeful. “It would be nice if you could make it. I know the gang would love to see you again.”

“I—” This is what you feared. It all felt too soon to clean up the mess you made. However, it’s better to fix things sooner than later. You still had one thing to worry about. “I don’t know… I don’t have anyone to babysit the twins and I don’t want to—”

“You can bring the kids with you,” Gojo quickly interjects. “They’ll make good company.”

“Are you sure?” you squirm. “Sometimes they can be a bit much and I don’t want them to be a hindrance.”

“(Y/N),” Gojo stops you. “They’re children. I work with high schoolers for a living. They’re like overgrown toddlers, the twins will be fine.”

You sigh loudly, before you finally agree. He’s right. You shouldn’t be so scared. You’ll be there and so will four other adults. All people you trust. They’ll be fine. “Okay. I’ll be there.”

“Yes!” Gojo cheers. “I’ll send you my address. Can’t wait to see ya!”

When he gets off the phone with you, Gojo’s texting the group, She’s coming! 

—

“Is he gonna have that candy that gives us superpowers again?” Yuu asks as you explained to them that you were going to visit your old friend. They were both eager to go at the sound of food and playing games. “My powers are gone.”

“Maybe,” you hum as you open the car door, watching as they both jump into their carseats and buckle it themselves. In the middle seat, you rest a container of food, a small side to share out, a dish that you had made in college and they all enjoyed. “But you can’t eat too much. So you’ll throw up all of your powers away and you can never get them back.”

“Ew!” They grimace as you shut the door, heading to the front seat. Starting the car, you let out a deep sigh as you mentally prepare yourself for this evening. You have to remind yourself that the rainbow comes after the storm. 

When you arrive at the complex, it’s an array of buildings with all the same layout. Ivory painted exteriors with black shingles. The lawns are carefully maintained and not a thing out of place. Telling the twins that you’ve all arrived, they’re quick to unbuckle their seatbelt straps. With the child-locks on, they’re forced to wait for you to climb out and open the doors for them, reaching for the container in the middle. There are three other cars parked out, letting you know that you’re the last to arrive. 

Small hands clutching your right hand, Tyla does the honors of knocking on the door, hearing the chatter on the other side as you smell the savory aroma of homemade food. Ugh, the smell makes your stomach growl. You can hear Shoko’s voice, bickering with Geto you believe, arguing about who would get the door. Then, it’s Gojo silencing them with his loud voice as he announces that he’ll just get it. 

Hearing the locks turn before the door is opened wide, Gojo greets you with a warm smile. “Hey! I’m so glad you could make it.”

“I told you I would,” you smile. Gojo steps to the side, letting you come in. 

And before he could think twice about his next statement, it fell from his lips with ease. “I mean, you’ve told us a lot of things before you left.”

“Oh—” You’re taken aback, stopping your tracks while Tyla and Yuu’s fingers wiggle out of your hand as they still stand by your side, apprehensive on what to do. 

“Shit,” he curses, before looking down at the two small kids with wide eyes. “Shoot, I mean. I didn’t mean to say that.”

“No, no,” you shake your head. “I deserve that.”

“I’m sorry,” Gojo still offers before leading you inside. “Are you hungry? I think we should eat before we head into the festivities. It’ll give us some time to… catch up.”

"Yeah, okay," you agreed. Following Gojo to the main area where everyone is, their chatter stills the moment their eyes land on you. That same joy and happiness being stripped away when they see you before them. The air stiffens as your body tenses up, but you can make it through the night. You can't just run away from all your problems. 

"Hello," your voice is soft as you take in each and every one of them. Hunched over at the dining room table, Geto's hair has gotten longer, Shoko's, too, as she sits across from him. And her eyebags are heavy, more purple underneath from the lack of sleep. And Nanami, sitting in between them, you feel like he's changed the most out of all of them. Hair shorter and combed back, the hairspray used to hold it down is wearing off as strands start fraying away. And he's bigger, muscles bulging from the blue button up he's wearing. Round spectacles ridden from his space, he tries to stay indifferent but his eyes speak for him. 

It’s hard to make eye contact with them, a stream of embarrassment seeping down your veins as you nudge your twins deeper inside the house. The awkward silence is hard to cut through and frankly, Gojo’s tired of it. Trying to make the situation lighter. “Well, look who we have with us! Found these three hanging out behind a dumpster and decided to bring them in.”

They don’t laugh, only offering short and small waves as they guide you to the living area. He takes the container from you, a grand smile on his face as you set your bag on the couch. Tyla and Yuu stare at you like lost puppies, standing on the balls of their feet as they have no idea what to do. 

“Come sit down,” you pat the spot next to you. “Come.”

Children always make the hard stuff easier because Shoko peers over at you, eyes lingering on the two in sheer curiosity and adoration. You and Nana— You have cute kids. She glances at Geto, motioning that she’s going to take the initiative before slipping from her spot. The chair squeaks against the ground, it echoing loudly throughout the house and having you look back. Making eye contact, you both offer each other a tight-lipped smile. 

“Hey,” Shoko breathes. She takes a seat a few spaces down from you. “How’ve you been?”

You shrug lightly, head tilting to the side. “I’ve been… doing better.”

“They’re giving you a rough time?” Shoko chuckles, lightening up the mood. Immediately, you shake. 

“No, actually,” you respond. “They’re my little angels. It’s more so the move back down and getting things situated.”

“Oh, really?” Shoko hums at the information. With Geto’s interest piqued, he finally inserts himself into the conversation. “Oh, so you recently moved back down? When?”

You hum. “I’d say I’ve been here for about two weeks now? More or less.”

Geto wanted to question you further, get straight to what everyone’s dying to know. However, just as he’s opening his mouth, Gojo’s leaving the kitchen with oven mitts on, a huge grin on his face as he handles two large platters in his hands at once. He’s careful with each step as he sets them down on the table. “Food’s all ready! We can finish the conversation while we eat.”

Gojo knows how to host a get-together. The food arrangement being a marvelous display as everyone shares out their portions of food. He even went the extra mile as to setting up a small table for the twins, their plates seated in front of them as you had cut their food into smaller and more manageable portions. The air had lightened up, but you could feel the curious eyes on you, more specifically Nanami’s. However, he hasn’t said a single thing to you the moment you arrived. 

“So, (Y/N),” Shoko starts again, glancing towards the twins. “The twins— how old are they?”

“They’re turning five next month actually,” you say with a smile on your face. “Though sometimes they act like they’re fifteen with the way they sass-talk me.”

“Oh,” Shoko’s eyes sparkled. “Gojo mentioned that he did see you at the school next door to his, are they enrolled there?”

“Yes,” you nod. “They’re going for now. They seem to love it, so I’m happy.”

“The school’s very good,” Gojo chimes in. “When they get older they’ll have an opportunity to see if they’re eligible for the International Business and Technology program. I think they’d be interested in Robotics— Coding, even.”

“I saw, I don’t want to put pressure on it, so it’s definitely they’d have to show interest in—”

And hearing this all, how Shoko and Gojo are freely conversing with you. It frustrates Geto, inwardly seething as his chest rises and falls heavily. It’s as if the two of them have forgiven you so easily. He only sought it fair that you did some explaining. No more beating around the bush. 

“I’m sorry, but I can’t pretend anymore,” Geto interjects. “No more going around things, what happened? Why’d you leave?”

“Geto—”

“No,” he stops Shoko. “It’s only fair. I mean, isn’t this the sole reason she was invited?”

“I was hoping that we could’ve done this without the children around…” Gojo frowns at the turn of events, but since they’re already on the topic, he gives up rather quickly. It’ll be amusing to see the turn of events either way. 

“They won’t understand a thing,” Geto fans them off. “They’ll be fine.”

You’re starting to feel overwhelmed and before it could escalate you let out a huge breath. “No, it’s fine. I’ll explain everything. I know it’s why I’m here anyway.”

Geto looks appeased to hear that, leaning back in the chair as he crosses his arms. It’s the first time you’ve made proper eye contact with Nanami. You’re reminded just how beautiful his eyes are, despite how tired they look after all the years spent away from each other. You look away, head ducking down to avoid any more eye contact. 

“Before I left, I got a call from my dad telling me my mom was sick—” You managed to retell everything without shedding a tear. Weirdly enough, it felt comforting to. When you were all finished, you let out a breath, finally having the strength to face them all. You weren’t expecting all to be forgiven like that, but you were happy to give them some closure on what went down. Their eyes were sunken with understanding, feeling remorse for the five years that you were absent. 

“But, why didn’t you at least text us?” Shoko frowns. “We would’ve understood. Maybe we could’ve pitched in and helped you in any way that we could.”

“I didn’t want to give you guys my burdens,” you sigh, but I know what I did was wrong. “I know what I did was shitty and I shouldn’t have left you guys in the dust, but… there aren’t any excuses for what I did.”

“I’m not going to lie to you, (Y/N),” Geto breathes out a chuckle. “I thought you left because you got pregnant and were embarrassed to tell us.”

“Yeah,” Shoko agrees. “I thought the same thing, too.”

“Is it too early to ask who the dad is?” Gojo cuts in, catching everyone off guard. Shoko drops her fork against the plate, mouth hanging open and looking at Gojo, questioning how he could be so stupid. Geto shoots him a glare and through his teeth, he sneers, “Satoru…”

Your eyes dash towards Nanami, but you quickly avert them as your eyes widen. You expected this, to some sort of degree. However, you never expected Gojo to just downright ask so bluntly. “I—um—”

Luckily, Tyla jumps out of her chair and climbs on your lap to save you from this awkward moment. Eyes are still on you, watching the exchange between the two of you. “Mommy, what are you eating?”

After the exchange between you and your daughter, the table had forgotten completely about the topic of the kids’ father. The night transitioned into game night, in which everyone participated except for Nanami. He sat out for each and every game. When you’d look up at him, his eyes were on you the entirety of the night. It came to a point where he excused himself altogether and left. 

Gojo had set up a small corner for the twins, letting them play freely with them to occupy their time. However, Yuu had yawned for the nth time that night and he could no longer hold the sleepiness as he came to you rubbing his eyes.

“Ummy, I’m seepy,” he whines, dropping his head onto your lap without a second thought. Looking over at Tyla, she too was a yawning mess, but persisted on playing still. Dragging Yuu onto your lap, you checked the time before your eyes bugged out. It was nearing midnight. 

“Shit,” you curse slowly, before glancing at Yuu. “Sorry, mommy said a bad word.”

Everyone’s clearly tired, the music in the background quickly becoming a nuisance more than anything else now. Standing up, your movement pulls the attention to you. The exhaustion is contagious as Shoko joins in yawning before it slowly follows in a line. 

Shoko looks at the time, sharing the same reaction as you. “It’s this late, already? Wow… I should really get going. I have an early shift.”

Everyone comes to an agreement on ending the night. Yuu’s already fallen asleep in your arms while Tyla’s still playing with the toys. Making her clean up her mess, you’re the first one leaving. Pushing open the door, you’re hit with the nightly chill, the cool air breathing against the revealed skin. Shivering, you can see your breath. 

Nanami is leaning against the wall, arms crossed as goosebumps rise against his skin. You make eye contact for the nth time tonight, but this time he’s actually speaking to you. He’s straight forward, asking, “Hey, can I speak to you for a bit? After you put the kids in the car.”

Setting the kids in the car, Tyla’s quick to fall asleep. Winding down the window, you meet Nanami halfway as he approaches you. “It’s nice seeing you again… And I’m sorry about your mother.”

“It’s nice seeing you, too.” Both voices low, from the distance, Gojo’s motioning for Shoko and Geto to witness what he’s seeing through the window. They all crowd at the window, trying to get a good view as they watch. 

There’s an unbearable silence as the two of you don’t know how to go about this. However, you think it’s best to start with an apology. “Kento, look. I didn’t mean to take advantage of you like that… that night. I was just really stressed and worried about my mom, and then thinking about leaving and how I’ll be missing out—”

“You’re fine,” Nanami has to hold himself back from reaching out to you. He has to stop himself from holding you and caressing you, and telling you that it’s okay to cry, to explain to you that he understands why. “That’s not what I wanted to talk about really anyways. I just need to know—”

He looks off into the distance, eyes falling on the silver vehicle where the windows are wind down and he can barely make out the twins as their heads loll to the side in their carseats. “Are they mine?”

Your nod is faint, but it’s there and he catches onto it. The ‘yes’ being the verbal confirmation he needed. He wonders if you knew before you left. “When’d you find out?”

“Not too long after moving back to the United States,” you shortly explained. 

“Would you have stayed if you had known sooner?” 

Shoulders slumping, you can’t find yourself answering that question. Because if things had played out differently and you had known sooner, it would only make things more difficult. “Nanami, I would’ve wanted my mother to at least hold her grandkids before she passed away. I would’ve lived with so much regret.”

Seeing it from your standpoint, Nanami feels guilty for the moment of selfishness that he felt. Nodding curtly, he huffs. “I understand. Did you feel anything between us that night?”

This nod is more affirmative and sure as you give him a tight-lipped smile. “Yes.”

—

Nanami’s been heavily reflecting on the fact that he has two children. With you. For the past five years. He’s missed significant milestones with them. The first time they stood on their feet, their first steps, their first words, their first birthday. He missed out on helping you potty train them. The moment they started eating solid foods. Every important moment in their early years, he’s missed out on. And it physically pains him, a hard pang against his chest that swipes away all of his oxygen.

He’s not one to be easily shaken up, but considering you’ve left him and every one of your friends here in the dark for so long, he deserves to let loose of his emotions. He managed to snag your phone number from Gojo’s phone, forgetting to ask you for it that night. He quickly typed up a message. Hello, it’s Kento. Gojo gave me your number. I don’t know if he told you that he was going to give it to me. When do you have time to talk? It’s important.

Nanami’s always wanted to be a father. He’s always known that he was going to be a family man. Back in college, he had his delusions that you’d be the wife and the mother to his children. Only half of his wish came true. 

It didn’t take you long to respond back, sending him, I have time now to talk if you want. He doesn’t hesitate to press the call button right after, the phone ringing twice before he hears the scuffle of you putting the phone against your ear. You must be with the kids, hearing you whisper out a ‘no’ and quickly dismissing them before your attention’s back on the call. “Hello?”

“Hey,” he shortly greets. “How are you?”

“I’m doing fine,” you hum. “And yourself?”

Nanami was straight to the point in telling you he wanted to be involved with the twins. And despite your hesitation, wondering on how to handle the confusion they’d go through because of the mess you made, you ultimately said yes. You wanted your children to explore and see Japan for its beauty, it would be the perfect opportunity for them to bond with their father. Throughout the conversation, you started to wonder about your future with him. Would this only be a matter of co-parenting? Would you be able to make amends with him at all? You wanted to ask him if there was any room in his heart to forgive you, but you held yourself back. 

“I’ve got to go, but let me know the dates available for me to visit,” Nanami comes to conclude the call. 

“Okay, I’ll let you know,” you nod as if he could see you. “I wanted to bring them to the park tomorrow around one in the afternoon? Is that fine with you?”

“That’s perfect actually,” Nanami beamed. “Well, I’ve got to go. See you then?”

“See you then,” you confirm. 

—

If you told Nanami to be here at an unreasonable hour, he’d always arrive hours before. You never seemed to beat him at the punctuality olympics and it’s become harder now that you have two gremlins. Especially when they’re putting up a fight— more specifically Tyla. While the usually calm and collected of the two usually has no qualms with the outfits you choose for her, she remembers the sparkly shoes that you bought for her a couple days prior. She’s adamant on wearing them out today when you would prefer that she wear something simpler. You didn’t want them to get dirty so quickly.

“Ty, these shoes are for special occasions,” you’re still trying to reason with her. However, you’re close to giving up. “Can we try some other shoes? You don’t want to get them dirty already.”

And no matter how you try rationalizing with a literal four year old, she’s a stubborn child. “No! I want to wear those.”

Sometimes you struggle with knowing what to put your foot down on. Sure, they’re shoes. If they get dirty, you can clean them. However, if this grows into a pattern in which you’re constantly giving in and letting your children walk all over you, it’ll bite you in the ass when she’s older. With a grunt, you decide to put your foot down. Grabbing the box, you hold it up. “If we don’t leave the house soon, I’m sending these shoes back to the store so another little girl can get them.”

“No!” She drags out her sobs, squinting her eyes and balling up her fists. 

“You can wear the shoes,” you narrow your eyes, tilting your head forward. “Just not today. Let’s wear these instead.”

Holding up the simpler pair, Tyla eyes them warily but finally gives in. She plops herself down on the twin-sized bed as she raises her leg, finally letting you put on your choice of footwear on her. When you’re heading out the door, you’re leaving at the time you told Nanami you were supposed to arrive. After the twins climb in, you hop into the driver’s seat and begin typing, Sorry, I’m running a little late. Tyla gave me a difficult time getting ready. I’ll see you in about ten minutes.

No worries, Kento responds back. Setting your phone in the cup holder, you’re pulling out of your parking spot, heading to the allotted destination. When you arrive, you spot Nanami sitting down on a bench, dressed nicely in a simple black t-shirt and denim jeans. His circular shades get darker under the sun as he looks up at the sight of your vehicle arriving. From the glass, you shoot him a kind smile as you turn off the car and unbuckle your seatbelt. 

Nanami stands, heading straight in your direction when your door swings it open. Knuckles gripping the door, he watches you climb out before shutting it for you. While you open the car door on your side, he rushes to Tyla’s side in aid. At the sight of the familiar face, Tyla’s eyes perk up. “Oh, hello!”

Taken aback by her friendliness, it’s a heavy difference from the night he met the young girl that was nervous around him and the others minus Gojo. However, he figured you told them that you were a friend of yours, making them more receptive. He holds out his hand for her to take, and she takes without hesitation. Her fingers, so small and tiny. The stark contrast is startling and Nanami’s reminded of everything he’s missed out on. “Hi. How are you?” 

“I’m okay,” Tyla smiles before she notices the playground equipment, eyes widening as she gasps. “The playground!”

Before she can dash forward, you’re calling her name in warning. “Don’t leave without me!”

It’s amusing watching you be a mother, watching your features drop as you’re essentially glaring down your doppelganger. The similar features are uncanny. And staring at the boy, Yuu, he sees that he’s passed down the blond. Bits of it at least as the blond mix together well. When Yuu notices the eyes on him, he clings closer to you and his grip tightening around you. 

“Wait for mommy,” you frown, watching Tyla spin on her heel and slump her way over. She reluctantly takes your hand as she tries dragging you to the playground. “Before we go play, I want to tell you guys something super important.”

Glancing back at Nanami, you beckon him to come into their line of direction. “Do you guys remember meeting my friends?”

They both nod with a hum, affirming that you can continue. “Well, do you remember this friend?” 

As they look back at Nanami, you continue with your explanation. “Well, his name is Mr. Nanami. And he wants to get to know you guys better. He wants to be your bestest friend, too, okay? Can you guys say ‘hi’ to Mr. Nanami?”

“Hi, Mr. Nanami,” Tyla greets again.

“Hi, Mr. Namami…” Yuu pouts softly. His error makes a chuckle reverberate from Nanami’s chest. However, he doesn’t bother correcting the young boy. 

“It’s nice to see you guys again,” he smiles, revealing the dimple on his right cheek. 

The time at the park was relaxing. It felt nice to have someone along with you, bonding and getting to know your children. Even back in the states, you struggled with them as they started growing and understanding. You didn’t know how to deal with Yuu’s emotions, thinking it would be better to have a male figure in his life to help him understand. Your father didn’t prove to be any help, mainly out of the house and if he was home, he was locked inside of his room and rotting away. Again, you’re filled with regrets while you’re pushing Tyla on the swingset, strength weakening as your mind drifts thinking about the ‘what-ifs.’ 

“Are you okay?” Nanami asks, his deep voice startling you. He knows that look, knows when you’re in deep thought. He knows you so well, it kills you at times. You immediately shake your head, not wanting to voice just how stupid you’ve been. He already knows. And despite that, he wants you to voice it. He wants you to stop bottling these emotions that inherently pulled you away from him in the first place. 

Yet, still he nods in understanding as he leaves you to yourself. You didn’t realize that Tyla had hopped out after you had slowed down, finding interest in the tall slide set for the older kids. Something you’re not sure if she’d be able to handle now. Grimacing as you watched her at the top, you had seen the rough landings the few kids that were around had. Of the twins, Tyla had thicker skin. She’d cry about it for a second and dust off the dirt later, but it still worried you. “Tyla, baby, I’m not sure if you’re big enough for this slide!”

“But, Mommy!” She started to whine, shoulders slumping as you were once again telling her ‘no.’

“I know, but—”

“Let her go down,” Nanami intervenes. You pause, unsure about Nanami’s decision. You squirmed as you were about to find a rebuttal as to why you think she’s not ready, but again, he stops you. “Trust me. She’ll be fine.”

Stepping to the side, you watch the interaction. How Nanami beckons for Tyla to sit down before counting to three. When he shouts go, Tyla squeals before pushing herself down. She slides down fast, too fast in your opinion, as her high-pitched scream travels. You’re stiff as a board as anxiety runs rampant through you, but at the end, Nanami reaches his hands out, noting the rocky ending if he wasn’t there to catch her. Scooping her up in his arms, Tyla’s cheering proudly as Nanami’s holding her. “Mommy! Mommy! That was so fun!”

She begs to go again, and seeing her in safe hands, you agree. You smile at the heartwarming sight before spotting Yuu sitting by himself in the dirt. Crouching down to his level, you frown to find him in solitude. “Yuu, why are you all by yourself? Why aren’t you playing?”

“I don’t feel like it,” he sighs, fingers digging into the dirt as he keeps his head low. 

“You don’t wanna play on the swingset with mommy?” You try to coax him up. With the pout on his face, you’re not sure if he’s sad or if he genuinely wants to be by himself. “I can push you.”

“No,” he tilts his head to the side. “I just wan’ta be here. It’s cool here.”

“Well, can I sit here with you?” At the nod, you’re uncaring for the light-colored pants you’re wearing, knowing that a wash will get it looking brand new. 

After another hour and a half, Tyla’s covered in sweat and panting heavily. Eyes hooded, she approaches you and falls into your lap with Yuu sitting right across. Nanami chuckles at the sight. You ask, “Are you guys ready to go home?” 

“Yeah,” Tyla sighs. “But I’m hungry. Can we get something to eat?”

You don’t take a moment to think about it, quickly nodding. You know that the two must be starving. Getting up from your spot, you dust yourself off and help Yuu up. “Yeah, what do you guys feel for?”

The twins had come up with the mutual agreement that they didn’t know what they wanted to eat. Luckily, Nanami had suggested a child-friendly restaurant that they would probably enjoy. Joining the three of you, you all shared a booth. As per usual, Yuu was stuck to your hip while Tyla had no problem sitting with Nanami.

They had their children’s menu open, but they wanted everything that they liked from it. And when the pictures and activities grew boring, they wanted to look at your menus. With eyes bigger than their stomachs, they constantly switched back and forth with what they wanted. You huffed in annoyance as you closed your menu and fixed their menus. 

“How about you choose something from here,” you started suggesting. “Then mommy and dad— Mr. Nanami can share our food with you—” You look in Nanami’s direction. “— If that’s alright with you.”

“I’m fine with that." When the food arrived, it was a beautiful display and arrangement of food. Your mouth practically watered at the sight. Yuu and Tyla had gotten different dishes. Yuu chose a bowl of ramen while Tyla picked the Japanese curry dish, familiar with the yellow coloring from the picture. You had ordered Donburi, a bowl fixed with rice topped with beef, pickled ginger and other vegetables with a running half-boiled egg on top. And with a large bowl, Nanami ordered Soba in a soy sauce-made broth for himself. With your chopsticks, you shared your food as promised, letting the twins try it as they held their mouths open. Nananmi shared a small portion on the sides of their dishes, letting them help themselves with their forks. As they occupied themselves with filling their mouths and stomachs, you and Nanami ate in silence. 

When it came to the bill, Nanami handled it. He was persistent. He walked with you to your car, helping the twins crawl into their seats as they safely connected their belts around them. Your front door was open, but you stood and waited. “I think they’re going to warm up to you well.”

You had a sweet smile on your face as you looked through the car door, watching them slump in their seats. Yuu’s rocking his head against his seat, while Tyla’s picking at the dead skin around her nails. 

“You think so?” Nanami asks unsure. He called the day a success, but he still worried. However, you were optimistic as you nodded. “I’ve done things the wrong way, but if one thing went right, it’s that you ended up being the father of my—our kids.”

He’s taken aback, but he hopes his face hasn’t spoken for him already. Nodding curtly, he clears his throat. “Well, have a good evening, (Y/N).”

“You, too.”

—

The twins are finally turning five, and they cannot agree on what they want to do. Yuu wants to go to an amusement park, Tyla wants to try ice skating. Tyla wants to go to an indoor trampoline park, Yuu wants a pool party. When you dare bring up your ideas, they come to a mutual agreement that you don’t know about anything fun and disagree with your selections. And you’re starting to panic because their birthday is in a little over a week and they still can’t come to an agreement. 

With Nanami more involved in the twins’ life now that you’re back in Japan, he’s been someone prevalent and often in their routine. You've updated their emergency contact forms, listing him as first priority after you. Gojo falls into second, following with Shoko and Geto. There hasn’t been an occasion where he’s had to pick them up yet, but he’s becoming a constant. Him coming to mind, you pick up your phone to quickly dial his number to hear his thought process. On the third ring, he answers. “Hello?” 

“Hey,” you greet. “Are you at work?”

“I’m about to go on break,” Nanami’s voice etches with worry. “What’s wrong? Is something the matter?”

“No, no,” you shake your head. “Nothing’s wrong. Sorry if it sounded like it. I just need a second opinion.”

“Hold on for a minute,” Nanami says before you hear the sound of background noise. He starts talking to someone else, possibly his boss as he informs them that he’s going to clock out. Afterwards, you hear the shuffling of him putting his phone back to his ear. “Okay, what’s the matter?”

“So,” you start. “The twins’ birthday is in about a week and they still don’t know what to do. They can never really agree on anything together and I’m wondering if it’s my fault because I showed them a few pictures of places and I’m wondering if I should’ve just shown them one thing and maybe this whole thing could’ve been avoided.”

Nanami smiles to himself as you ramble, happy that you were considerate in including him in the birthday planning. A part of him believed that you wouldn’t. “What are the options?”

You let out a heavy sigh. “So far all the options are an indoor trampoline park, ice skating, a pool party, or an amusement park.”

“Wow,” Nanami snorts. “Ok, I see.”

“Yeah, I’m in a bind.”

He finds himself sitting outside the building, packed food resting in his lap. Unpacking it with one hand, he hums in thought at your conundrum. He believed you were making it hard on yourself, that truthfully, the twins would've been fine with whatever if you hadn't brought up the idea of going out somewhere. You did admit some of the blame on yourself, so he wouldn't dive deeper into that. 

Thinking about the options you had given him, the most ones that seemed to connect to each other were the trampoline place and the amusement park. He knew of a place that seemed to tie the two together, an indoor attraction filled with arcade games, laser tag, and a bouncing area while outside were a few small attractions. There was even a water area for the two to get wet if they really wanted to. The only thing it didn't provide was ice skating. "Actually, I know a place that will work just fine."

"Nanami," you beam. "You're a lifesaver!"

He had sent you the link to this place, basically combining the twins’ interests into one place. It was a popular place for children, seeing how it was booked and busy when you had called them to make a few inquiries. At the sound of your disappointment when you had called Nanami back to tell him so, he had told you that he would handle it. You didn’t know what he did and how he did it, but he managed to snag a spot for you, ensuring that Tyla and Yuu would enjoy their special day.

It was worth it, getting to see the smile on their faces as they dashed forward towards all the games and excitement. It was also worth it seeing how your eyes lit up at the sight of their birthday room. A birthday banner hung up with balloons and decorations strung to the walls. You were an hour early, bags set on the table as you unpacked them. Nanami had reserved a deal where the staff would provide food and drinks for the gathering, but you had gotten a few things extra as well as a birthday cake. 

He tried talking you out of it, but you had plenty of ‘what-ifs’ to follow. What if it’s not enough? What if someone wants something else? What if, what if, what if? He didn’t know if it was from annoyance at you or if he still held such a soft spot for the person he once had such strong feelings for, but he gave into it and ultimately said, “If you think it’s the right choice.”

Helping you get things together, you had set up a small speaker as music played in the background. There were a couple of things that were provided to you that you used, but for the most part, you had stuck to the theme that you had set. Your children both equally loved Bluey. It was something you had to hunt down for, having to DIY a couple of the decorations, but it worked in your favor. Nanami helped place the plastic table coverings. He proved to be a helpful hand when it came down to arranging things. You were used to having to bicker back and forth with people because they didn’t see it from your perspective. His assistance made the process work in your favor as you guys had a little under half-an-hour to spare before everything officially started. 

Walking out of the room, you went to go in search of the twins. It was a weekend, the party being held at an early time, so the building wasn’t jam-packed with children and parents roaming around. It was easy to spot the twins trying to play a game, repeatedly pressing a button in hopes for it to work. They were persistent, but in the end, turned around in a huff before they saw you and came running. 

“Ummy,” Yuu cries. “None of the games are working!”

“That’s because the party hasn’t started yet,” you briefly explain. “I have to get your cards and everything before you guys can start playing.”

“Oh,” Yuu tilts his head in understanding. “Is it starting soon?”

“Very soon,” you nod. “But first, you guys have to come with me. Let’s wait in our room, okay?”

Before you can bring them back, your eyes land on the entrance, seeing the three familiar bodies of Gojo, Shoko, and Geto walking together inside. They were all carrying bags— birthday gifts for the twins— in their hands. The bell hung overhead jingled the moment Gojo pulled at the handles, holding it open for the two before sauntering behind them. You grinned widely as you approached, grateful that they could make it. 

“Thank you guys so much for coming!” You crooned, pulling them in for short hugs. You motioned for the twins to do the same as well, watching them pull all three individuals for a hug. You were making great efforts to rekindle the friendship you once had, speaking to them individually. Not just for yourself, but for your children to have people to rely on. When you had sent the invitation out to them, you were wary of whether or not they’d come. It was a children’s party so you wouldn’t blame them, but you were hopeful. 

“What?” Gojo chuckles. “Did you think we wouldn’t? Of course we’d come to see the twins get older!”

After that, people started trickling in slowly. You had sent out invites to all the parents in his classroom and the turnout went better than you initially expected. They had only been attending the school for about two months, so you expected parents to be wary about who their children are around, but most if not all showed up. The children were really excited to be around each other and you’re getting the perfect opportunity to meet the parents. Nanami had offered to watch over the twins as well as the other kids that decided to follow behind. 

Neither of you had thought about the questions that would follow after seeing the two of you together. How the two of you complimented each other well and the chemistry you shared with Nanami. And with the growing relationship with Nanami, the twins saw him as a growing constant in their life. 

Sitting across from a parent, Utahime was a beautiful woman. With jet black hair and bangs that covered her forehead, her beauty was astounding to you. Awfully sweet, it contrasted to the firecracker of a son that she had. He was very energetic and she could barely keep up with her child, finding herself exhausted after only ten minutes of chasing after him back and forth. 

She had finally gotten a break after forcing the father to chase after him with the threat of no sex for two weeks. While she was out with her firecracker, she couldn’t help but notice your twins and how they hovered over Nanami, who she assumed was your husband. Utahime hated to admit it, but she wished her husband was more like that. Instead, he let her deal with Mashitori by herself on most days. He had no interest in bonding with his son whatsoever. However, watching how the blond took care of Tyla and Yuu so gently and lovingly, the brunette wanted more of that. “Your husband is a very good father.”

You paused at that. Stuck in your own world, you hadn’t noticed the woman taking a seat on the other side of the table from you. It took you a moment to realize that she was indeed speaking to you. “Huh?”

“Your husband’s a very good man,” Utahime repeated. “I have to go through hell just for my husband to spend five minutes with Mashitori. I hate to admit that I’m a bit envious.”

“Oh!” You didn’t correct the woman. Speaking of the devil, Nanami walks inside with a trail of kids following behind him. Your eyes were on him as his brown hues landed on you. You gave him a faint smile, but your gaze never left him. You sighed, “Yeah, he’s a very good dad. I’m glad that he’s theirs.”

When the party has ended, you bid your farewells to the parents and children, thanking them for attending. Exchanging numbers with a few of them, you’re smiling from ear-to-ear to know that your kids are making friends and you have the parents’ approval for future playdates and plans. It’s a little reassurance that you’re raising your children right. 

Cleaning the room before the next party has to come in and set up, you luckily have the help of Nanami, Geto, Shoko, and Gojo. They make the process go a thousand times faster as you rip down stuff and shove them in the garbage. The most you save is the birthday banner and the Bluey poster you had drawn and made people sign upon entering as a keepsake. 

When everything is packed and clear, you’re tugging on the arms of Tyla and Yuu as they still have so much energy in them. Nanami walks beside you, pulling up a very emotional Yuu who’s trying to throw his body down in protest. The three behind you watch the exchange, noticing just how much of a family the four of you look. It makes them chuckle from the sheer amusement. 

( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡

FOUR MONTHS LATER

The pot is bubbling, the savory aroma of curry traveling through the house as you twist the knob lower for the pot of white rice. With the two pots of food simmering on the stove, you inhale deeply as your eyes roll back. Oh, how you wish your mother was here. She’d probably make you a better pot of curry goat. Yours never tasting the same way despite following the same recipe. Maybe you’re too hard on yourself or maybe you’re holding onto the nostalgia too much. 

You were planning on having dinner together as a family, which you normally did, but this time it includes Nanami into the mix. He had no problem with the arrangements, hellbent on bringing something of his own despite you saying that he didn’t need to contribute. When the expected knock came at the door, you dropped the spoon you were holding gently into the bowl of potato salad. Your children perk up, eyes widening as they can take a close guess as to who it is. 

“Is dat Mr. Nana?” Yuu jumps up from the couch, forgetting about Spongebob on the screen. You had switched it to Japanese only, wanting the kids to gradually become proficient in the language. He comes hurdling to the door, the name he blurts out alerting Tyla as well. She gasps, “Mr. Nanamin’s here?”

Though you got the head start, they beat you to the door and ran into it. Surely, Nanami can hear the loud bang from the otherside as you peek through the door hole. You giggle at your children’s enthusiasm, batting their hands away when they try to unlock the door. “I know you guys are excited, but only mommy or any other adult opens the door, okay?”

Pulling away, they nod in unison and tell you ‘okay.’ They wait for you to unlock the door, giddy on their feet. When it swings open, they’re quick to jump on the man as they say their own variations of his last name. Nanami chuckles, pulling both of them up in the air and in his arms despite the container he has in his right hand. The sight is a lovely one that you still can’t grow yourself accustomed to, you coo in adoration everytime you see it. Stepping aside as you let him in, you smile. “Good evening, Kento.”

“Good evening,” he greets upon stepping inside. The kids are unrelenting, refusing to come down when Nanami tries to place them back on the ground. They cling onto his neck, screaming out ‘no’ in protest. Remembering the food on the stove, you rush over to it before you finish mixing the potato salad. Once Nanami finally convinces the twins to get off him— more like force them— he joins you in the kitchen as you’re grabbing plates from the cabinets and glass bowls to pour the food in for a better display. 

“I brought dessert.” He makes himself at home and opens up the freezer, making space for the container in hand. “Mizu yokan. I think it’s something they haven’t had before.”

You’ve had the treat before. He’s the one who made you try it in one of your early years in college. After Gojo had adopted you into their friend group, the four had all agreed to take you out to see Tokyo, Japan, in all its everlasting beauty. Along the way of touring, Gojo was trying to find a specific spot that he wasn’t quite familiar with. He had given Geto, Shoko, and Nanami the responsibility to watch over you. However, four became three and three became two as Geto and Shoko ran off to help the tall oaf. 

You remember how you thought at first Nanami wasn’t particularly fond of you, never saying much and always cutting conversations short when you tried sparking up one. However, you remember him taking you into a shop, buying the chilly treat for you to try. And how he stared down at you so closely, watching you savor all the flavors of the red bean paste dessert. The way his eyes were on you, you thought at first he was watching you to get your reaction, but now that you’re older, you wonder if there was more to it than just that. You wonder when Nanami first took a much deeper liking to you. 

“I think they’ll like it,” you nod with a smile. 

“I don’t know,” he says, skeptically. He, too, remembers buying you the treat. “They might be like their mother and not like it.”

Dramatically gasping, you nudge him. “Hey, I did like it. It just took me a few bites.”

“A few bites too many,” he smirks, stepping around you, getting the last word as he heads back into the living area. You scoff, watching him leave. So much for offering a hand. 

When dinner’s ready, Nanami’s helping you carry everything to the dining table, pushing away the centerpiece and replacing it with the ravenous bowl of curry goat. You trail after him with the rice in one hand and the potato salad in the next. Gently placing them down, Nanami scoops up the bowls as he does the favor of organizing them. You had run low on time, so you dashed to your pantry, pulling out four cans of soda and yet another bowl for ice. Calling the twins from the couch, they come running without a second call as they climb into their respective spots that they claim as theirs. Slipping into the chair next to you, Nanami takes his spot beside you as you reach behind you for the plates resting on the island. 

Handing him a plate, you start sharing out the twins’ food first, putting down small proportions before sliding the plate to them. You’re the last to share out your own plate and when you’re done, you reach out for Tyla’s hand with your left hand and Nanami’s with your hand as you announce, “Let’s pray.”

Forks digging into the plate, everyone’s enjoying their food. Even you as you commend yourself for finally finding a good balance with the seasonings and the curry powder. It’s silent when your phone rings, the familiar blare in noise sounding the otherwise silent room. Looking sheepishly as everyone’s startled, you grab your phone ready to decline the call when you vaguely recognize the digits on screen. It’s your father’s rehabilitation center calling. Glancing at Nanami, your eyes speak for itself. This is important. “I’ll be right back.”

Hopping off the chair, you rush to a secluded space not too far away as you finally accept the call. “Hello?”

“Hello, is this Miss (Y/L/N)?” 

“Yes, this is she,” you let out a deep breath. Despite all the atrocities your father’s committed and every bad thing he’s done to you, you find yourself startled into a panic over him. You hate it.

“I’m sorry, but—” It’s all that you need to hear before your shoulders drop and you’re expecting the words from the caller’s voice. He’s dead. The tears that prick the corner of your eyes sting and fuck, it hurts to cry. These tears must be filled with a poison meant to harm you and punish you for feeling an ounce of remorse for that man. You don’t want your children to see this, but when the caller, Vanessa, is concluding the call, your feet bring you to the table before you can even think. “I’m so sorry for your loss.”

You hate when people apologize, because what’s there to apologize for? They’re not the reason both of your parents are dead. Getting back to the table, Yuu and Tyla are shocked by your puffy and red eyes as they jump out of their chairs. 

“What’s wrong, Ummy?”

“—Mommy?”

Head turning to see your solemn expression, Nanami’s quick to his feet as you find yourself choking on your words. Luckily the woman on the other line had already hung up before she could hear your sobs. He does you the favor, telling the children to get back at the table before backing you out of their sight. He meets you at your level, pulling your hand away from your eyes to reveal your messy face. You turn away as you’re trying to get it out, but you can’t. The only thing he can come up with is some fresh air and some water.

He leaves you for a quick minute, fixing you a glass of water, dropping a few cubes of ice inside before rushing back and unlocking the front door. Shoving it open, he pulls you into his arms and leads you outside. “(Y/N), hey… I need you to breathe. Tell me what’s wrong.”

He’s expecting you to block yourself out and refuse to tell him a thing, but you’re taking the glass from his hand as the cool afternoon air breathes down your back. None of your neighbors out, the skies darkening as their porch lamps light up the block. You down the glass down in three gigantic gulps that Nanami doesn’t take the time to process before he’s grasping it and taking it out of your hold. He watches you, grabbing the hem of your shirt as you tell him, “My father just passed away.”

“What?” He couldn’t quite hear, your voice being muffled. Dropping the dress after wiping the tears away, you repeat yourself, “My father passed away.”

“Oh,” and immediately his strong arms pull you into his embrace, your cries growing louder at the tender and endearing moment. He whispers into you, holding you tightly as he whispers, “It’s going to be okay, (Y/N).”

Gradually, you relax in his arms, feeling him rock you side-by-side before you’re pulling away. With a deep breath, your shoulders slump. “Thank you.”

There’s a moment of silence as you get yourself together. “I don’t know what I should tell the twins. When it was my mom, they were too young to understand, but they’ve come to know him, even if it’s his bad side.”

“I don’t know… They’re already comfortable here.” He figures that you need to ramble, just get everything off your chest. So with a comforting hand, he places it on the small of your back. “I’ve already done enough back and forth. I don’t want to go back to something so sad— again.”

“It’s understandable if you did,” he tells you. “It is your father.”

“Yeah, but I don’t want to mourn someone who doesn’t deserve my tears,” you sigh, before looking up at him. Ugh, gosh, you love his brown eyes. “And I’ve already messed things up once, I don’t need to do it again.”

“You won’t mess up as long as you’re not trying to run away from me again,” he lets out a light chuckle. It earns him a ghost of a smile from you.

“Oh, never again.”

—

You had ultimately decided not to go to your father’s funeral. You chose the monetary option of showing your support and coming up with an excuse to why you couldn’t make it down. Though, it was reasonable. You were on a VISA, the children were in school, and the back and forth isn’t anything any of your kids nor you need at this time. Nonetheless, it didn’t remove the slight disdain you heard in a few of your family members' voices when you told them you couldn’t make it down.  

It’s nearing three p.m. and if you don’t leave work now, you’re going to be late picking up the twins from school. Clocking out as you push the swivel chair back, you slowly gather your things as you pull out your phone. Opening up your work app, you’re happy to see the red button flashing on the top of the screen, instructing you to clock out. Clicking it, you’re relieved as you nearly skip through the double doors of your job. You’re in a hurry to get home, having such an exhausting day at work as you had to complete stacks and stacks of work. Jumping in the car, you start it up quickly and turn the radio on, hooking up the aux cord to shuffle your own set of music. 

Pulling out of the parking lot, the drive down to the school is relaxing as you park the car and hurry to the double doors in which they’re released. Greeting the teacher when you arrive, she’s giving you a confused look when you approach. She doesn’t bother to give you the habitual greeting as to letting you know about the twins’ behavior and asking how you are to be cordial. “Ms. (Y/L/N), what’re you doing here? The twins have already been picked up.”

“Excuse me?” You furrow your eyebrows. “What do you mean?”

If you were ever running five to ten minutes late, you’d ask Gojo to pick them up and wait for you. He never disagreed and it was always something you notified him of beforehand. For him to pick them up without you knowing, it didn’t sound like him. “Did Gojo pick them up?”

“The white-haired tall fellow from next door? No,” the teacher shook her head. “No, this one was blond, wore round glasses and dressed nicely. Their father— he’s on the emergency contact list. I made sure of that before releasing them to him. Were they not supposed to go with him?”

“No, you know what? I’m sorry. He didn’t let me know that he was going to be picking them up early, that’s all.” Furiously, you spin on your heel as you’re pacing back to the car and quickly dialing Nanami’s number. When he doesn’t answer the first time, you’re quick to dial it again as you’re jumping back into the front seat and quickly driving out of the area. 

He answers on the second attempt, clearly seeing nothing wrong with his choice as he gives you a gleeful ‘hello.’ You can’t bother with the formalities and typical greetings, voice sounding gruff as soon as you hear his voice. “Where are you?”

“I’m at the park with the kids—” It’s enough that you need to know before you’re illegally switching lanes and speeding down the road. You’re shocked when you’re not getting pulled over by the cops, but it’s secretly a blessing in disguise as the usual twenty minute drive turns into a ten minute one. Parking, you hurry out as you spot Nanami with the twins not too far away. You look like a mama bear, parents taking a step out of your way when they see you storming past, eyes following in your direction. 

“Tyla! Yuu!” you’re screaming from the top of your lungs. You’ve never raised your voice so loudly, when they hear it, they come rushing to you with no questions asked. Watching them hurdle towards you, Nanami stands tall until he sees you, evidently lost as to why you seem so upset. You had abruptly hung up on him right as he was about to ask if you’d like to go out and eat after the park. 

“Mommy–”

“Tyla, wait at the bench over there,” you quickly instruct. “Yuu, you, too.”

When you and Nanami meet each other halfway, you’re crossing your arms at him as you glare at him. You’re causing a scene the moment you open your mouth, screaming at the male individual. “How could you be so stupid? Do you know how worried I was?”

You’re pushing at his chest in anger, but he’s not moving. It only makes you even more heated in rage. Wide eyes, Nanami’s mouth falls open as he holds his arms out to relax. “Wait— (Y/N), calm down.”

“Don’t tell me to calm down!” you sneer. “You signed my kids out without telling me about it. I’m not going to be calm when I was wondering where the fuck they could be!”

At the sound of your profanity, nosy parents start beckoning for their children to come. At the sound of you only claiming the twins only being yours, it triggers something within Nanami, making him just as upset as you are. “What do you mean your kids? They’re just as much mine as they are yours?”

So that’s what you choose to hear? You scoff. “My kids. My twins. I took care of them for five years by myself, so yeah, they’re mine!”

“And who’s fault is that, huh?” Nanami rebuttals. “You’re acting as though I decided not to be in their life. I have a right to be in their lives just as much as you are!”

“Well, at least let me know before you’re just up and grabbing them!” you shout, as it finally dawns onto Nanami why you’re so upset in the first place. With a low curse, he runs a hand through his hair. You’re still hung up on your anger, not waiting for Nanami’s apology. You’re calling a crying Tyla and Yuu to follow you, hushing their sobs as you apologize to them. All throughout, you never look back at Nanami once, forcing him to watch the three of you leave as he knows he’s fucked up. 

—

The dark clouds in the sky clog up the rays of the sun, making the day somber as Nanami realizes that he doesn’t have an umbrella in his bag. The habitually prepared man has forgotten one of his essentials, it’s unlike him. He’s happy it’s the only thing that he forgot. His coworkers rush past him as he stands under the overhead as they pop open the umbrella and rush past. 

It’s been an exceptionally long day, but everyday feels long for him. However, there have been plenty of things that kept his mind skewed, barely able to keep up his calls and paperwork. He hadn’t spoken to you in a couple of days after the incident at the park, wanting to give you your space. Thinking back on the entire ordeal, he feels like a complete ass for how he acted, not fully taking into consideration how you’d feel. Berating himself, he’s usually better than this, rationalizing things before acting on impulse. He just liked the fact that he was getting so close to the twins, finally starting to feel like their father. To hear you practically diminish his role had struck a nerve, making him fail to see the bigger picture. 

Staring out in the distance as the crowd started growing smaller, he knew that he can’t stand here all night. Stripping of his trench coat, he holds it over his head before bracing himself. He quickly paces down the stone pavement, the loud patter of rain quickly seeping through the expensive material. He’s parked a far distance so by the time he reaches his car, the makeshift umbrella is useless. He’s soaked from head to toe, panting as he pops open the car door and jumps in. His clothes are sticking to him and feels like he wants to tear it off his body, feeling the squish of his socks against his leather shoes. He grunts, throwing the coat into the backseat as he unbuttons his shirt. Turning on the car, he immediately switches off the air conditioner, putting on the heat. 

Water drips from his temple, pressing the button to start the ignition as he steps on the brakes. Reversing out of his spot, he’s sitting uncomfortably as his body’s tense. Stopping at a red light, he pulls out his phone, drying it off with a napkin from the seat compartment space. Switching it on, he stares at your number for a while before hitting call, hearing the quick sound of a horn honking at him to go. Connecting his phone to the car bluetooth, the phone rings for a couple times before he hears the shuffle of you bringing the phone to your ears. 

“Hello?” You sound tired. Looking at the time, it’s barely seven. Have you managed to put the kids down for bed so early? 

“Can I come to your place?” He asks. “I want to talk about… what happened?”

At the familiarity of his voice, yours stays indifferent. “Yeah, no problem.”

When there comes a knock at your door, you answer it without hesitation. The kids are in bed, apparently having such a busy day at school that they couldn’t fight you on not going to sleep. You decided to have the night for yourself, popping a bag of popcorn and putting on a movie for yourself. However, movies no matter the genre never fail to put you to sleep. So when Nanami called you, you were a bit disoriented. You didn’t think properly when he asked if he could come over, easily saying yes. Now that you’re more awake and alive, you’re regretting it. Still, you open the door and step aside for him to come inside. 

The first thing you notice is that he’s soaked— well, halfway. Disheveled hair that falls unfittingly, but that’s not enough to erase his beauty. He stares at you with exhausted brown eyes, huffing out a ‘thank you’ before he’s wrapping himself with his arms. Your apartment’s cold, making him shiver immediately with the first step he takes inside. 

“Sorry,” you apologize. “I'll turn up the AC.” You point towards the direction of the thermostat, turning to hurry and do it. However, he stops you before you can disappear. “No, it’s fine. I’ll try to make this quick.”

“Okay,” you nod. You know what he’s going to bring up, figuring he’d want to talk cordially about this. While your subconscious knows that he’ll want to make amends because it’s not like him to be so inconsiderate and irresponsible, you’re wondering if part of him wants to banter more on the matter, try and make you feel guilty for getting upset and bringing the matter to the public. 

“I want to apologize,” he starts. He shoves his hands inside of his pants pockets, shuffling as he makes eye contact with you. “For what happened at the park. I wasn’t thinking when I signed them out. I should’ve messaged you about it first, asking how you felt about it before doing something so rash.”

You adjust the robe wrapped around you, tightening the string. “I should apologize, too,” you admit sheepishly. You know that you’re also wrong for what you told him, knowing that you shouldn’t have tried guilting him at something that wasn’t his fault. You should be grateful that he wanted to spend time with the kids. It’s what you’ve wanted. “I shouldn’t have tried making you feel like less of a dad for being one. I—I was just so scared when the teacher told me that someone else has signed them out—”

“And you shouldn't have been scared in the first place.” Your body’s trembling, silent cries that leave you as Nanami reaches to caress your face. Large hands that cup your face and that sense of familiarity of each other’s bodies as you’re reminded of that night from years ago. You feel so stupid for crying, but the chill of his skin is oddly comforting as you don’t flinch away from his cold touch. Instead, you’re looking up into his eyes as you both are awfully close. 

His body ghosts against yours, him subconsciously moving in closer. That hand has slipped to the nape of his neck, running underneath the band of the bonnet you’re wearing and tickling the thin strands of curls. The gentle hand you place against his chest sends more chills through his body, fingers that make his heart skip a beat. The only sound that runs through the house is the television, but the both of you have drowned it out as you stare longingly into each other’s eyes, daring each other to make the first move. 

The race to each other’s lips results in a tie as your bodies cheer with a ‘finally.’ That clench against his shirt, he knows it all too well. The simple action made him want to deepen the kiss. His hands travel down to your waist and to your ass with a firm grip that pulls a moan from you. And fuck, the stur in his stomach makes him want to draw out more of his sounds, but it also brings him back to reality.

He pulls away from you abruptly, leaving those soft and supple lips of yours. You jump, eyes widening as he takes you by surprise when his arms push you away. Guilt etches him some more. “I’ll make sure to talk to you first before picking up the kids.”

“Oh…okay,” you slowly nod. “T-thank you for understanding my side.”

He curtly hums, adjusting his shirt before he reaches for the door knob. “Have a good night.”

“You, too,” you breathe softly. 

( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡

SEVEN MONTHS LATER

The cafe is warm, heating your body up in a embrace that you’ve been needing all day. Stuck in your office, the set temperature had your body frozen as you shivered all morning long. You had forgotten your jacket at home, stuck in the sleeveless black dress that you decided to wear. The little cafe that you’ve found latibule in is doing the work to provide you just what you need as you circle to the lengthy line. They’ve always had decent customers, something that you’d describe as a steady flow of business. However, the line nearly drapes around half the cafe and you’re afraid that this will take up the majority of your break.

You’re quickly wondering if you should head out and try a different cafe or just grab something quick from a fast food chain and drink their shitty coffee when you hear the faint call of your name, beckoning for your attention. As you’re snapping your neck, trying to get a good look at who is calling your name and how they possibly know it, your eyes light up when you recognize that face and realize you should’ve known it sooner. It’s Higuruma. 

Stringy dark hair that’s otherwise well-kept and brown eyes that always look tired, they vaguely remind you of Nanami. Subconsciously, almost everything about him reminds you of Nanami— clad in a suit and always well put together. He’s articulate and intelligent, stoic and serious. All words that you could equally describe your blond… co-parent. However, you always shove those thoughts to the back of your mind, greeting him with a smile that meets your eyes. After consecutive stops to this very cafe on your breaks, the two of you had ran into each other plenty of times until he took the step into introducing himself to you. It’s become a friendly relationship, though you swear that sometimes his touches and eyes linger longer on you than they need to. 

He beckons you to come meet him where he is in line, and you squirm where you stand. He’s getting closer to ordering and you’d feel guilty for skipping people that have been waiting for ages. However, with his arm flailing in the air, verbally prompting you to meet him up front, you don’t want any more attention on you as a few people start glancing your way. You make a bee-line around the crowd, excusing yourself repeatedly whenever your skin grazes against someone until you’re right next to the brunette who grins at your arrival.

“You’re late,” he teases. Checking your smart watch, it’s a couple minutes past one and by Higuruma’s standards, you are indeed late. His habitual reminder whenever you make it a minute past your standard schedule never gets old. 

“I have no excuses this time around,” you exhale. “I lounged around for an extra minute or two at work. How was work?”

“Work was work,” he shrugs. From what you’ve learned about Higuruma is that he’s a defense attorney that has a high sense of justice. With a simple google search, he’s seemed to take on nearly impossible cases in order to protect the wrongfully accused. He’s never gone into detail with you about his cases due to confidentiality, but you can see it in his eyes that it does take a toll on him. It’s why in comparison to your cup of what he likes to call ‘milk and sugar with a dash of coffee,’ he’s always holding a large cup of black coffee with only two spoons of sugar. “But I’ve got amazing company now, so it brightens up my day.”

You nudge him in his ribs. “You love to inflate my ego.”

He chuckles deeply. “I do.” 

When the cashier calls from the next customer, being you and Higuruma, he lets you order first and pays for both drinks despite your protests against it. It’s not the first time he’s done this, and you never seem to learn your lesson when he declines your paybacks or sends the money right back to you. He finds your little pout cute as you go on about how he needs to stop paying for you. You only go ignored as he continues to do it. 

Finding a small table to lounge at for the next hour, your butt hits the seat as you lean against the back of it. Today you had ditched your regular, replacing it for an iced caramel macchiato. With your eyes shut, you bring the cup to your lips, sipping it and tasting the caramel drizzle on top. Higuruma’s eyes are on you, snorting at your exhausted state. “You had a rough day, too, huh?”

“More like a rough night?” you scoff, a hand resting on your forehead. “The twins did not want to go to bed last night. They kept sneaking into my room at night, snickering and laughing like it was a game to find out when I would lose my cool.”

You had no issue talking about your children to anyone. You loved them a lot and weren’t ashamed that people knew. When they asked about their father, while he was in the picture, it was a complicated tale to tell as you tried to skip past that telling as much as possible. Higuruma has seen plenty of pictures of your two bundles of joy when he first brought up seeing a picture. He enjoyed the way your eyes light up talking about them and how you smile retelling a memory you have with them. He ignores that tinge of jealousy when he sees the father and how he’s still in the picture even if the two of you aren’t romantically involved. 

He’s flirted and dropped plenty of hints, thinking you’d get the hint. Hoping that when you slap his chest when you’re laughing, squeezing on his bicep from excitement, and when you let his hands last on you longer, that these are all signs that you reciprocate the same feelings that he has. 

When the hour is coming to a close and you’re reaching for your purse, he’s standing up as well, trailing after you. Following you through the door, he thinks it's the best time to ask you what he’s been wanting to do since the moment you both started talking. “(Y/N), before you go, I have something to ask you.”

“Yeah?” Your eyes light up in acknowledgement as Higuruma’s hands are shoved into his coat pockets. He keeps that stoic expression on his face even if the question he’s about to ask holds some risk. 

“Care to go out for dinner sometime?” The corners of his lips twitching upward. “Have something other than coffee and a danish?”

Your eyes widen as you process his question. When was the last time you’ve been on a date with anyone? Not even in the past six years. And now that you have children, you have to consider them into the picture, wondering if Higuruma’s someone you see yourself with in the future. 

And you can. You can see him as a constant in your life. He’s an attractive man and he’s got a dry sense of humor that most wouldn’t get, but you do. He doesn’t seem to mind that you already have two children with a man that’s not him. He’s checked off most of your boxes, but there’s still an innate fear inside of you that’s holding you back. Are you ready to start dating again? And what about Nanami?

The two of you had found middle grounds with coparenting, creating a schedule that the two of you had mutually agreed on and the twins quickly grew accustomed to. Sundays were dedicated to having dinner together, sometimes it was at your place and other times it was at Nanami’s. When the two of you plan to take the kids out together, there have been instances where the tension was high as his lips grazed your while he held onto your waist. However, self-control soon collected the two of you before it could escalate into something more. 

There’s still a calling towards Nanami that you’re trying to fight against. A part of you still longs for him to remind yourself of that night all those years ago, but you don’t know if Nanami does. And instead of confronting him and wanting to know if there’s an opportunity for a second chance, you decide to conceal those emotions. It seems like the best way to do that is by putting your mind on someone else. 

“Yes,” you grin. “I’d like that.”

The last bit of hours for work go by slowly, that when you’re clocking out, you’re rushing out without a second thought. You hope into your car quickly before quickly pulling out of your parking spot and driving in the direction of home. And while you’re driving in the silence, you remember your date for this Saturday. After saying yes, Higuruma was swift to send you a text, asking if Saturday at six p.m. would suffice. You said yes, but had to make sure if Nanami was available to watch them or you’d have to rely on either Gojo, Shoko, or Geto to watch over them for the night. Dialing Nanami’s number, it rings twice before you hear his voice. You can hear the twins in the background and from the sounds of it, he’s helping them with their homework before he gives you an official greeting. “Hey, I was helping the twins with their work. Do you need anything?”

When the twins are with Nanami, you try not to be a stickler, giving him his space because you know your children are in great hands. You usually just text him to let him know when you’re on the way. So, you figure that he thinks something’s up if you’re calling him. “I have a favor to ask you actually.”

“Mhm.” With his acknowledgement, you actually grow giddy. Something that you’re finally doing for yourself outside of your children. It actually feels good now that you’re thinking about it. Considering that you and Nanami have grown closer again, growing a mutual understanding of each other’s position in life, you thought it would be fine to be candid with him. 

“This Saturday, I’m going out on a date.” You probably sound like a teenager again, telling your mother that this boy asked you out and asking for permission to go to the movies with him. It feels nice to go through that excitement once more. It makes you feel youthful. “And I’m wondering if you can watch the kids for the night. I won’t be gone for too long, so I’ll pick them up around eight or nine.”

“Oh?” There’s an unease settling on Nanami’s chest. How you’re excited to be going out with someone. It shouldn’t bother him, the two of you aren’t dating— just… two people that shared an emotional night together years prior and have proof of it. So caught up with coparenting and the close proximity the two of you have been in because of it, he’s forgotten that the two of you aren’t in a relationship. 

“Is that fine with you?” you ask for confirmation, posture straightening as you pull into the parking lot of your home. Putting the car into park, you turn off the ignition and disconnect your phone from the car to put it on speaker. “I can ask Gojo or Shoko or Geto if you’re gonna be busy that night.”

Clearing his throat to compose himself, he shakes his head, forgetting that you’re not physically with him. “No, um— I mean, no. I have nothing going on for the night. I don’t have a problem with that.”

With relief and burning excitement as you unlock your front door, kicking off your shoes in the corner, you smile. “Thank you so much, Kento. I’ll send down some snacks even though they shouldn’t be hungry or anything.” 

“Don’t worry about it,” Nanami chuckles. “I’ve got a few cases of snacks prepared for them already. We’ll be fine.”

“Are you sure? I could always buy some more if it’s not enough—”

“Bye, (Y/N).” And before you can say anything else, he hangs up the phone on you. You let out an ‘oh’ of shock before you’re laughing. You’ll still send down a box of snacks for them, nonetheless. 

— 

You look beautiful. Too beautiful for this date to just end at nine pm. When you’re knocking on his door with the twins in tow, Nanami opens the door to see you in a tight-fitted dress that hugs at your curves. It’s a beautiful shade of yellow, complimenting your skin as it makes you glow. It falls above your knees, showing off your legs and beautiful calves. And your hair is done, beautiful faux locs that fall above your ass and have been adorned in loc accessories. You’ve gone the extra mile as to putting on makeup and Nanami hates it. 

No, he thinks you look beautiful. However, he hates the fact that another man will be seeing you like this tonight. That someone not him is going to be having your time. And he only has himself to blame. From that time that the both of you kissed, both of you decided to ignore that it ever happened. It was a silent mutual agreement that he should have never accepted on his part. However, it wasn’t the right time and he didn’t want to complicate things. The children still only know him as your “friend,” and though they’re getting older, it’s a conversation that the two of you haven’t gotten to yet to discuss if they should know that he’s actually their father. 

Before you motion for the twins to get inside, you bend down to give them both a kiss. As you do, Nanami’s given the perfect sight of your cleavage and he clears his throat to pull himself together, shuffling on his feet. “I love you two,” you remind them. “I’ll be back to pick you up later tonight, okay?”

“Okay!” they both exclaim before pushing past you and giving Nanami quick hello’s before bustling straight to the living room. You chuckle before standing tall and dusting out any wrinkles in your dress. 

“Have a good night— oh, wait!” Remembering the box of snacks you had bought despite Nanami clearly saying not to get any, you rush to the car to pull it from the back seat. Running in your heels, you climb up the steps carefully before shoving the box into his hands. “Don’t say anything. Just take it!”

Nanami can only chuckle before doing as told. “Okay, I’ll just add this to my collection.”

“Yes!” you grin. “Have a good night! Don’t let them stress you out too much. And let me know if you need anything. Anything!”

“If by the off chance that we do, I will,” he calls out as you’re backing up and rushing back to the car. He watches you climb in safely before driving off before he lets out a sigh and drops the small smile on his face. In a low and disingenuous voice, he says, “Enjoy your night.”

Higuruma’s taken you out to a really nice restaurant. The interior is gorgeous, with gold glittering the edges of the floral wallpaper as frames hang gently against the walls. Rectangular tables neatly spread and people sat around the wooden countertops of the bar. Classical music plays overhead and it smells amazing. A waitress holding a hot cinnamon roll walks by and the sweet aroma makes your mouth water as you marvel at the scenery. “Wow.”

“Do you like it?” Higuruma watches you carefully, hands holding the wine glass before he brings it to his lips. Taking a sip, the red wine is dry, to his exact liking. However, you’ve barely touched your glass after your first sip. He doesn’t want to overthink it, that maybe you’re still taking everything in, but he can’t stop his mind from it. “I thought this place suited you.”

“Yes,” you hum, but you feel like ‘like’ is an understatement. You haven’t had an ounce of food and the red wine tastes amazing, knowing that they probably have a special stock in the back and this bottle is expensive. Maybe you’re saying yes too soon, but you’re amazed. You’ve never been on a date as extravagant as this. Part of you feels ashamed of it. “It’s beautiful here.”

“I’m glad to hear,” the corners of his lips twitch up when you finally make eye contact with him again. Your eyes beam brightly as you grow curious. He’s a handsome man and from the research you’ve conducted about him, he makes enough money to pay for the hefty bill by the end of the night. You wonder if this is his first time here. “Have you been here before?”

Higuruma chuckles at your question, noticing that glint in your eyes, knowing exactly what you’re insinuating. “If you’re asking if I’ve ever brought another woman here before, no. But I’ve been here before.”

“Oh.” You tilt your head, wanting to know more. “Really?”

“Yeah,” he nods. “Back when I first got hired as an attorney. My team and I had just won a serious case and to commend us for our hard work, we ate here. Gosh, that was ages ago, but the food here is amazing and it still should be.”

This is the most he’s ever spoken about his work, and you wonder even more about it. His tired eyes were brought back to life when speaking about it, the lines on his face crinkling up when he recalled the memory. 

“It was one of the best times of my career,” he trails off, a silence following as his eyes sink. You’re only left to imagine what he’s thinking. His job isn’t easy, also considering the fact that he takes on near to impossibly hard cases. To have a job within the judicial system takes a lot of toll on someone and you can only hope that you can bring him to a point where he’s not afraid to open up more to you. “What about you? Any moments in your life that bring a smile to your face?”

 The question catches you off guard, and it shouldn’t. You should’ve seen it coming really, but now that you’re having to rack your brain for something, it comes hard. “I don’t know… I have a couple that comes to mind.”

“Name them all,” he grows intrigued. Him too wanting to grow through that pretty head of yours. You’re humming in deep contemplation before you’re beaming. “My first time moving to Japan. I always think back to it and I’m glad that I went behind my parents’ backs to fill out that form.”

“Oh,” he chuckles. “You’ve got a rebellious spirit.”

You scrunch up your nose. Would you call it rebellious? No, you more so would call it tired. “Hm… no. I was tired of living under my parents roof and didn’t think it was enough to just move out of state. I needed to move out of the country.”

“Why Japan?”

You’ve been asked this question plenty of times before. What made you choose Japan? And you never had a proper answer for them. Just that from the options you had, it was the furthest. “Why not?”

“And to combine my other ones, I’d say when my twins were born and the fact that my mom got to meet them before she passed.” You didn’t mean to make it somber, especially when the waitress comes back with two plates in their hands. She sets them down, asking the two of you if you need anything else for the time being, but both of you decline. When she’s gone, Higuruma’s eyes are back on you. Through the many conversations you both had, you never mentioned your mother in the light that she’s dead. 

“Oh, I’m so sorry to hear that,” he reaches for your hand. You let him take it, enjoying the soothing rubs of his thumb against your skin. It’s comforting. 

“Don’t be,” your cheeks rise. “I’ve come to finally accept it. She was diagnosed with cancer and during the last few months before she passed, she wasn’t really living anymore. More like… surviving. She couldn’t walk anymore, we had to feed her through a feeding tube, and she just— she just wasn’t herself. I’m glad she went the way she did.”

“That’s… such a nice way to look at things,” Higuruma respires. 

“It’s taken me some time to get here, though,” you snort, remembering the amount of tears that you’ve shed in secret. It was a rough time for you.

“All that matters is that you got here.”

With a to-go box in hand, you lead Higuruma to your car. Having parked on opposite ends, he wanted to ensure your safety seeing it is the pitch of night as the street lamps are dim and do nothing to illuminate the pathway. Clicking the button to open your car door as you get closer, you see the headlights blink before popping open the door handle. You reach to the passenger seat, giving Higuruma a nice view of your ass before pulling out. 

“I had a nice night,” you pull out an incandescent smile. 

“And you’re hoping for more, right?” 

You giggle at that. “Oh, you’re smooth.”

“I try to be,” he shrugs, taking a daring step into your personal space. You can feel his breath against you. “So, what d’ya say? Another nice night like this?”

“Mm…” you hum. “Maybe.”

“Don’t tease,” you feel his lips ghost yours. 

“But it’s fun.” And it’s the last thing you say before he engulfs your lips with his. His hands capture your lower waist, inching towards your ass before he’s squeezing the fat with his large and veiny hands. He brings you closer to your body, not caring for who sees. He’s carefully backing you into the car, fingers slipping underneath the hem of your dress as you allow him to. When he’s got you perched inside, he reaches for the door handle, slamming it shut behind him. 

With fogged windows and in a compromising state, when your orgasm pools into a puddle against the leather, you curse when you check the digital clock. It’s nearly half past ten when you’re reminded of the twins. You promised to pick them up more than an hour ago. “Shit,” you curse, Higuruma’s lips latched to your neck. You mewl out another moan before pushing him off you. “I’ve got to pick up the kids.”

Glancing at the clock, he figures a night with their father isn’t the end of the world. “I don’t think they mind spending the night.”

“I don’t know…” They’ve spent the night before, but you don’t like saying that you’d do something and don’t hold up the end of your deal. It’s not what you were prepared for and neither did Nanami. However, before you can think any deeper about it, Higuruma’s hovering over you.

“Don’t you think you deserve a night to yourself?” he quirks any eyebrow at you. “They’re in the hands of their father, so they’re safe. What’s one night of selfishness going to do, huh?”

You know he’s right. You’ve revolved your life around your children, a normal thing that parents have to do. Finding that balance between yourself and your children is something you struggle with, always finding reasons to run back to them. However, with Higuruma’s hands running down you, fingers that find purchase with your breast as he flicks at the nipple, he’s making you realize just how much you deserve a night to yourself. “Let me just text Nanami first—”

Taking your phone from you, Higuruma tsks with a ‘no.’ “You’re already this late. I think he gets the hint.”

—

In the morning, you wake up to empty sheets and a message from Higuruma: Hope you slept well. And please, let me know when we can spend more time together. You smile, sending him a quick response while ignoring his last message. You’re not going to lie, you enjoyed your time with Higuruma. He was a nice guy all around, but while his hands explored the caverns of your body, they just reminded you of another man. Making you wish that when he brought you to bed, that you were nicely tucked in by someone else. 

It made you feel guilty to find purchase in another man that wasn’t yours, switching out the brunette for a blond when he had brought you to another orgasm. Now as you’re pushing yourself out of bed, you’re filling your mind with regret. Regret that you’ve ever led Higuruma on for thinking that the two of you could be more than simple friends that meet each other for coffee. He’s asking for more than you think you could offer. 

Dropping your phone on the bed while you head to your bathroom, you look in the mirror and the view isn’t pretty. Falling asleep in your makeup, you grimace as you absentmindedly go to search for the micellar water before dousing a thick cotton pad in it. Washing your face, you’re enjoying the silence of your home. No television on, no crashing of toys all over the place, no alarm clock to sound off to remind you to wake the twins up for school, no kids in your— 

“Fuck,” you curse. Looking at the digital clock resting on your vanity, it’s a quarter to twelve. You can’t believe you woke up so late and you can’t believe you nearly forgot about your own children. Quickly washing your face, you dry it off before grabbing your phone to text Nanami a quick apology before telling him that you’ll be on your way to come and pick them up soon. You don’t wait for a response, dropping it back on the bed before stripping out of your clothes to jump in the shower.

By the time you jump in the car, it’s 12:30 pm. You get to Nanami’s apartment in ten minutes tops before knocking on the door out of breath. It doesn’t take him long to answer the door, swinging it open to view your apologetic state. You’re dressed in comfort, baggy sweats and a tank top, hair pulled back into a ponytail. “I’m so sorry! I didn’t expect to wake up so late.”

“Where were you?” Nanami doesn’t need an answer to that. He knows exactly what happened by the time the clock hit 9:30 pm. He called it the moment you knocked on the door, handing the twins over to him. However, he can’t stop himself from getting mad. He can’t stop the emotions running through him knowing that another man’s been with you in such an intimate way. He can’t fathom the idea of having another man pressed up against you, claiming your lips against theirs. The image he’s created inside his head is sickening, and he doesn’t want that stuck in his memory.

“I’m sorry,” you squirm uncomfortably, apologizing once more. “We ended up spending the night together, and I just thought you wouldn’t mind—”

“—Thought what?” He cuts you off there. “Thought I wouldn’t mind you gallivanting with another man while your children are wondering where you are?”

You don’t like the tone he’s taken with you. And he has every reason to be upset. You’re not one to invalidate anyone’s feelings, but you’re thinking he’s exaggerating. “A-are you upset with me?” 

“Why wouldn’t I be?” he hums. “The mother of my kids was busy throwing herself at another man to come and pick up her kids.”

Eyes widening at such insinuations, you cross your arms as you take a step back. It takes you a moment to recollect yourself, throwing Nanami an incredulous look. Clearing your throat when you finally have your thoughts together, you scoff. “First of all, you might be the father to our kids, but you’re not mine. Who cares if I decide to spend the night with someone else? As far as I’m concerned, I don’t owe you a thing.”

“You don’t owe me a thing?” Nanami scoffs. “I’ve spent almost five years not knowing that I had children because you selfishly left the country without a word. Not a message, not a call, not an email, or even a letter to let me— to let your friends know that you’re fine. I think you owe me a whole lot more than you think.”

You don’t know what’s gotten over his head, but to solely put the blame on your absence seems cruel. You get his reasons for being upset with you. Maybe you shouldn’t have easily given into Higuruma’s temptations and sent him a quick text. However, you know Nanami. He’s a lot of things, and you’d like to think everything good about him. However, to continuously hold this fact over your head as if you’re not trying to make up for what you’ve done? You’ve never categorized him to be an asshole, and you don’t want to start doing it now. 

“If you’ve got more on your chest to say to me, I suggest you tell me now,” you glower. “I don’t plan on coparenting with a father that still holds a stick up their ass.”

“I—” Before he can say anything else, the sound of Yuu’s voice comes ringing in behind him.

“Mr. Nana, is that ummy?” Nanami has to calm himself down before turning to the child, shoulders relaxing as he spins on his heel. You straighten up your posture as well, feigning that everything is fine. 

“Y-yes, um…” Clearing his throat, he runs his hands down his clothes. “Yes, your mom’s here to pick you up. Where’s your sister?”

“She’s still on the bed,” Yuu answers, before running off. And you can’t be bothered with this conversation. Angrily meeting Nanami’s eyes, you scoff in annoyance. 

“Just get me my kids.”

—

It’s hard coming to terms with your emotions. Emotions that Nanami knew that always were there, but chose to ignore. He’s been doing so well with concealing them for the past year, but now that you feel comfortable to go out on dates again, they’re starting to well back up and seep in the middle of his chest. And he’s only been making it worse, he fears. You’ve sent him a text not too long ago saying that you have it handled for the week, basically denying him access to his kids. 

He knows he deserves it. He knows he’s overstepped and that he displaced his emotions. He can’t help himself from the embarrassment he feels for it. Usually someone so adamant on people communicating things through, he’s managed to make this mistake not once, but twice. How can one person make him so irrational? 

It’s pitch black out and he’s worked overtime. All of the cubicles are empty and the only light inside is coming from the small desk lamp he has and the monitor in front of him. When he checks his phone, there’s no messages on screen, no notifications from anyone of value— not counting Gojo asking him a question in regards to rat traps. (Apparently he’s doing a project with his students and thinks he has the answers to his questions?) Shutting off the monitor and lamp, he gathers his belongings for the night before trudging out of the building. It’s raining when he pushes open the double doors, and luckily he’s better prepared this time. Pulling the umbrella from his satchel, he opens it up before carefully strolling down the wet stone pavement. With the click of a button, he’s opening his car doors as the head lights flash to life. Jumping into the front seat, he’s hasty to shut the door.

Head falling against the headrest, he shuts his eyes for a moment. He can’t keep prolonging this, that at some point it’ll all become too much— for better or for worse. Running a hand through his hair, he grabs for his phone as he dials the number of someone he believes who could help in this situation. Checking the time, it’s half past ten and it’s not the latest he’s left for work but it’s not the ideal time to call someone for relationship advice. 

Shoko answers the phone with a yawn, ‘hello,’ leaving her lips before guilt etches him. Sometimes she takes on late shifts and she sleeps as long as she can so that she’s well rested. He can’t always remember what days those are, but he’s wondering if today’s one of them. “Sorry, did I wake you?”

“No, no,” Shoko dismisses with yet another yawn. “I needed to get up anyway. What’s up?”

“How’ve you been?” He starts deflecting from the problem at hand, connecting his phone to the speaker of the car as he starts it up. Putting the car in reverse, he backs out of his spot before driving off in the direction of his home. He doesn’t want to just bombard Shoko with his issues. 

“Kento,” Shoko uses a stern tone. Nanami’s not one for long conversations, rarely ever calling the brunette if it isn’t to meet up and spend some time. No, Nanami preferred in person conversations rather than phone calls. Sometimes Shoko wouldn’t hear from him for a while and she didn’t mind it, knowing that even with minimal contact, she knows that he cares. And so does she. “You’re not one for small talk on the phone. What’s wrong?”

With a heavy sigh on the other line and the soft patter of rain, she can tell that he’s driving home. Whatever it is that is stressing him must have been dwelling on his mind for a while. “It’s about (Y/N).”

Shoko can’t say she’s surprised. From the year that you’ve been back and inserted yourself back into their lives with two children with you, she saw it coming. So did Geto and Gojo. From the birthday party and seeing how the two of you interacted with each other, like you were made to be together. It was a calling connection that even a blind man could see. It came to all three of their surprise when you and Nanami still weren’t together. But it made sense as to why not. There was still that looming fear of you leaving again. While the chances weren’t likely, the possibilities were still there. 

“What happened?” Climbing out of bed, feet slipping down to the cold tiled floors, she hops off as she starts her night routine, placing the phone on speakers. Listening to every last word he said, Shoko never knew Nanami could be so… stupid. He was always the most level-headed of the quartet, even if he was younger. The answer is obvious and she has a feeling that he knows it, too. He just needs that extra push, that reassurance that everything will be okay afterwards. 

“Kento…” Shoko sighs. “I think you know what I’m going to say. You have to tell her how you feel. Petty jealousy squabbles will only push you two further away.”

And with a breath, Nanami nods. “Yeah, I know.”

“I’m pretty sure it will go well,” Shoko smiles, starting to strip off her sleepwear, and turning on the shower to let the water heat up. “Geto, Gojo and I were betting on when the two of you would get together. So far, all of us have lost.”

Nanami can’t help but snort at that, pulling inside of the lot of his home before hearing the water running. “Thank you, Ierei. I appreciate it.”

“Any time, Kento,” Shoko beams. 

“Try to enjoy your shift,” he comes to end the call. “G’night.”

“Can’t say I will,” she chuckles. “Enjoy the rest of your night though.”

—

“I understand.” Higuruma expected this coming. That when you started avoiding the topic of going on another date, always finding an excuse as to why you couldn’t. He figured something was up. And it didn’t take him long to deduce the reason as to why. You don’t have to say it verbatim, he knows that you’re still hung up over the father of your children. However, when you agreed to going out on a date with him, he figured that you were ready to move past him. He thought wrong. 

“Thank you,” you say, relieved. “I hope that this doesn’t affect our friendship. You’re a very good guy and I’d hate to lose you as one.”

Shaking his head, he reaches for his large cup of coffee. “If I’m going to be honest, (Y/N), I think it’s best if we end that, too. You’re great, too, but I don’t think it’s best when I’ve been longing after someone who doesn't feel the same way about me.”

You can’t blame him for his reasoning. Still it brings a solemn expression to your face as your shoulders drop. “That’s reasonable.” 

The two of you stand up at the same time, an awkward laugh falling from both of you. “You stay, I’ll go.”

“Take care of yourself, Higuruma.” 

He gives you a tight-lipped smile. “Don’t be afraid to say ‘hello’ every once in a while.”

Later that day when you’re putting the kids down for bed, there’s a knock at your door. Not expecting any visitors, you become wary about opening the door. Stopping in your tracks, you reach for your phone, remembering the security camera you had installed. Checking the camera, the familiar sight of Nanami comes to view. In a white button-up and black slacks, it’s a simple attire that can never go wrong. You grow curious as to why he’s here at such a time.

You had been keeping your distance from him, a part of you still upset with him for what he said to you. However, you can’t keep avoiding him. You think he’s gotten the point by now. Running down the hall to get the door as he knocks again, you unlock the door. “What’re you doing here so late?”

“Can we talk?” 

Sitting around the dining table, you’ve shared yourself and him a glass of wine. Pushing the chair back, it makes out a sound as it grazes the ground. Grabbing your glass, you slosh around the contents before bringing it to your lips. The two of you sit in silence for a while, soaking it up before Nanami has the energy to speak. Eyes on you, you’re clad in a loose t-shirt and shorts. With a bonnet over your head, it’s evident that you were prepping to head to bed. 

“I want to start off by apologizing to you,” Nanami begins, his deep voice low and raspy. “I should’ve never spoken to you like that. You have a right to do whatever you want and you deserve time to yourself.” Even if it is with someone else.

“Look,” Fixing yourself in the chair, you sit up straight, propping your hand on the table as you slide the glass away from. “I understand why you were mad. I should’ve messaged you and told you that I wasn’t going to be able to make it, but I just don’t understand—”

“And I want to get into that,” Nanami interjects. “My anger was misplaced. It was never about you not communicating with me and letting me know that you wouldn’t be able to make it. 

“Honestly, I shouldn’t have let my emotions build up to the point where it did,” Nanami voices. “Instead of getting jealous that you were with someone else, I should’ve come to you and told you how I felt. I talk this big talk of wanting you to talk to me, but I couldn't even do that myself.”

“Kento…” Taking in everything he’s saying, hearing him confess takes your breath away. As though he’s been struggling to say all of this for years. 

It feels like a huge relief to him. Like, he’s finally revealing one of the deepest darkest secrets that he’s had on his chest for the longest. He no longer fears whether or not you reciprocate his feelings, just relaxed to know that he’s voiced them and ready to prepare for the consequences if need be. 

 There’s so much running through your mind, emotions and feelings that you’ve been harboring that you don’t know how to articulate yourself. Your body feels hot, unable to meet his eyes as you, too, try to find the right words to say.

“If you don’t feel the same way, that’s completely fine.” You see Adam's apple bob as he looks at you, eyes dropping in disappointment despite what he’s said. “I just hope that we can discuss our arrangement with the kids if you feel like I’ve put you in an uncomfortable spot. I just needed you to know that you didn’t do anything wrong and that my anger was displaced.”

“No,” you shake your head. “It’s not that. I…”

You don’t know why it feels hard to say what you’ve been wanting to say for so long. Maybe it’s the fact that it seemed like a silent agreement not to, that now that Nanami is breaking that rule, it’s making it difficult. You want this. You really do, but fear also rushes through your body. Fear of the fact this could all fail and everything goes downhill. How two people that used to love each other so much have to come to hate each other in the next breath. Something has to drive those two people apart and you don’t think it’s likely that the two of you could turn out that way, but you don’t know what the future holds and you don’t want to bring that on your children. Children are more perceptive than they seem. 

“Kento, I feel the same way about you,” you finally confess. “I felt the same way about you all those years ago, you know this. I told you that night we reunited. And this past year, seeing you with the twins and the time we’ve spent together because of it, I don’t know if it sparked them back or made my feelings for you stronger.”

“I want us to try again,” Nanami breathes, body straightening as he grows confidence. That momentary somberness leaving his eyes at your confession before his eyebrows crease at his choice of words. “Er… do things the right way. The way things should’ve been.”

“But what if it doesn’t work out?” That flash of fear returns to bite you in the ass. You don’t want to be pessimistic, but you’re afraid. Afraid of the future and afraid of yourself, that maybe you’ll do something to fuck it all up again. “What if we end up hating each other?”

“I don’t think that could ever happen,” Nanami shakes his head. He doesn’t want to think about it later down the line. Not this time. Not with you. 

“But—”

“Let’s go out on a couple of dates,” Nanami suggests. “We’ll get Geto, Shoko, or our last resort, Gojo to babysit the kids. And we can take it step by step from there. If it feels like we should just keep our current arrangement, we’ll do that, but if there’s something more… we’ll take it from there.”

“You sound so sure everything will work out,” you murmur, your bottom lip jutting out. Nanami finds it cute.

“I’m not,” Nanami reaches for your hand, rubbing in soothing circles. “But, I’m willing to try and make it.”

There’s something therapeutic about getting ready to go out. Getting all dolled up to go somewhere nice, having to put more thought and effort into what you’re going to wear. The ideology of ‘look good, feel good’ being proven when you slip on a simple denim dress. It’s not extravagant or over the top, but it feels nice to put on. Fixing your hair, the long faux locs are pulled back into a loose ponytail, the thick band holding it together bringing it away from your face. You’re wearing light makeup, nothing more than a little foundation, lash extensions, highlighter, and lipgloss to further perk up your mood before you’re reaching for your purse and slipping on some sandals. 

Geto’s taken up your offer on watching over the twins for the day. Currently sitting on the ground as he has an action figure in one hand and a doll in the next as he plays with the twins. The sight makes you smile. Geto’s always had a soft and soothing voice, kind as ever if you don’t upset him. He was rigid upon your return, but you’re happy to be reforging that bond with him. 

You and Nanami agreed on going out during the day, wanting to enjoy the good weather as opposed to when night falls. Nanami wanted to be the gentleman, picking you up instead of meeting each other there. So the knock on the door doesn’t come out as a surprise as Geto wishes you a good time before you’re grabbing your phone and keys to stuff inside your small bag. Opening the door, you smile widely as you take in Nanami's appearance. He’s taken a very simple attire as well, wearing a baby blue collared shirt and jeans with brown loafers adorning his feet. He holds a bouquet of peonies, passing it to you. 

“I thought peonies fit you, but if they’re not your favorite, I’ll get you another one.” The corner of his lips twitch upwards, dusting his hands off when you take the flowers from his grasp. 

“No, they’re fine,” you smile, accepting the bouquet happily. You hurry to find a vase underneath the sink, washing out the glass before filling it with water. Neatly setting them as the centerpiece of your dining table and replacing the other one. Nanami takes a step inside, waiting patiently as he leans against the door frame. When you come back, he holds out his hand. “Are you ready?”

“You’re really bad at this,” he says when his laughter dies down, and you pout. Halfway into the golf course, there are people waiting impatiently behind you as they stare the two of you down. 

“Yes,” you cheese.

“I hate this game,” you frown. You don’t know how Nanami can make it in the hole in five swings maximum, while you’re on your tenth try. It’s an anxiety-inducing feeling, but Nanami’s laughter makes it all the better. You’re glad that at least one of you is enjoying the time. 

“Okay, but you don’t need to point out the obvious!” you whine. “How do you do it? I think I just have bad hand-eye coordination.”

“Here,” Nanami approaches you, pressing his chest into your back. “Let me help you.”

He feels your body tense, large hands meeting yours as he fixes you in the right position. 

“So, you go like this—” You mimic his stance under him, hearing the soft hum of approval as he smiles down at you. “—And you have to plan out the trajectory of the ball. Think about how hard you have to hit it to get it near. Hit it too lightly and it won’t go that far; too hard and you’ll pass the hole; just right and—” Guiding your hand to hit the ball, he watches you watching the ball travel towards the hole, and landing. He adores how your eyes light up as you jump in excitement. “—there.”

“You’re a pro at these first date things, huh?” You wrinkle your nose, staring into those beautiful brown eyes of his. “Had plenty of women to practice on?”

You’re teasing him, he knows, but he can’t help the way he grimaces. Shaking his head, he smiles. “No, I just imagined many first dates with you.”

—

“Do you remember Utahime?” With your legs crossed as you sit next to Nanami on the park bench as you both survey the twins from your seats. With his suit jacket draped over the backrest of the seat, he looks completely relaxed as he has one arm rested around your shoulder. The weather is nice today, warm with a cool breeze running through your body. The two of you have been resting in a comfortable silence, simply enjoying each other’s company.

Subconsciously, your body inches closer to his. He edges you closer, the hand around your shoulders pulling you closer to him before you rest your head against him. Brown eyes peering down at you, Nanami hums. “Yeah, I’ve seen her while I picked up the twins most of the time. Why?”

“She invited us to a little double date this weekend.” And you liked the idea of it. Happy that the woman finally got the opportunity to find a babysitter and give herself a break, you’re all too willing to accept the invite. “I thought it’d be cute, so I said yes, but I said that I’d need to ask you first.”

“I don't have anything going on,” Nanami shrugs. “At least, I don't believe I do.”

“So it's a date?” You confirm, rising from his chest. He smiles with a curt nod, “It's a date.”

The dress code is formal, and it calls for you to pull out one of your nicest gowns from the back of your closet. Utahime had gotten tickets to a ballet recital. Apparently something so prestigious that it was a miracle that she was able to land these tickets. You weren’t one to complain, taking the opportunity and running with it. 

Taking out your long royal blue gown, it still makes your eyes sparkle whenever you pull it out. Placing it over your chest as you stand in front of the mirror, you pull it in front of you wondering if it still fits. You bought it a couple of years ago, a piece you couldn’t leave back in the states and carried it all the way over here to Japan. You purse your lips to the side, gnawing on the insides of your cheek as you hum to yourself. You don’t know why you’re in deep thought. It’s not like you have many options, the rest of your dresses fitting nowhere near the formal that you hope to achieve.

Hanging the dress on the back of the door, you strip yourself of your clothes as you start to get prepared for the evening. The twins were off at Gojo’s, giving you the day off as the white-headed man had no issues lending you the majority of the day to yourself and to get ready. The shower you run yourself is so piping hot that it nearly makes you fall asleep the moment your body hits the bed, snug in your robe and plastic shower cap. When you find the energy to get up, you run through your habitual post-shower routine.

You prop your faux locs into a bun, carefully pinning any stray strands down before doing your makeup and slipping inside of the dress. By the time that you’re finished, you have ample more to accessorize and fix yourself a small snack. The last time you checked your phone, Nanami said he’ll be ready to pick you up in half an hour and you have ten more minutes until he’s supposedly on his way. You quickly check in with Gojo, heels clicking against the tile floor as you switch off your bedroom light and shutting the door behind you. 

Downing a homemade parfait before you hear a knock at your door, you jump. Nanami’s early. You grab your belongings, stuffing them into your purse before resting the bowl in your sink and filling it with water. Rushing to the door, you swing it open. Nanami’s hand rests on top of the door frame, a thin smile at you when he sees you. “Are you ready for the evening, m’lady?”

 “When you ask like that?” you giggle. “I’m ready for anything.”

The ballet was beautiful. You’re no expert or critic. You wouldn’t notice a flaw if there was one, but you were mesmerized throughout and Nanami adored how your eyes sparkled at the sight of it. It was like he was watching you getting transported back into your childhood. Your mouth slowly dropped open, falling into a deathly trance that you were pulled out of when a scene ended and there was that momentary break.

And Utahime was amazed, peering over at the two of you. How stupidly in love the two of you were. He remembers how she and her husband were when they first met and got married. Just like you two. And to see the two of you like that. She thought it was normal for the honeymoon phase to dwindle out, but could the two of you possibly be so infatuated with each other that it comes naturally? 

She’ll admit, her husband is trying more. And she’s also trying to meet him halfway. Together she and him are starting to see eye-to-eye again, rekindling that spark in the flame that was missing. However, she feels like she’s the bystander in the movies when she watches the way Nanami looks at you, and you him. She adores it.

The next destination was at a restaurant, ending the evening together for all four of you to get together and have a proper conversation. The ballet tickets were free, so Utahime felt like a little splurge on food wouldn’t make her feel as much buyer’s remorse. The waiter’s handing them their drinks as the party of four finally gets more comfortable. Utahime’s husband glances over at the two of you, curiosity sparking over him.

“So, Nanami. (Y/N),” he begins. “How long have the two of you been married?”

Nanami was bringing his drink to his lips when the question was asked, pausing as he looked over at you, eyebrows crinkling. Your eyes nearly pop out of your head, nearly forgetting that you led Utahime to believe that you and Nanami were a married couple. You avoid making eye contact with him, but surprisingly, he goes on with the lie. “For about six years now? Right after we graduated college.”

“Oh!” The couple’s eyes widened before they made sense of it. Utahime started to grow more understanding with you, feeling like she should have made that connection earlier. 

“It’s kind of similar to us,” Utahime nods. “We got married close to when we graduated university as well. I found out I was pregnant, and the rest is history. We were planning on getting married anyway, but hoped it happened later than sooner.”

You nodded, going along with her story. “Yeah, it was really the same thing with us. We decided to have a little graduation celebration and ended up having too much fun.”

Utahime’s husband laughs at your insinuation, burly and loud laughter calling for attention from almost the entire restaurant. Utahime’s eyes widened in embarrassment, looking around before nudging at her husband to stop it. It only gives you and Nanami the opportunity to look at each other, holding a silent conversation as the lie worked in your favor seamlessly. 

The night’s pitch dark when Nanami’s parked in front of your home, slipping out of your heels and into the flats you conveniently had stashed in the backseat of your car, you climb out the passenger side as you laugh into the silent night. Nanami shakes his head as he follows suit.

“I can’t believe you let Utahime believe we’re married,” he shakes his head. “You know you’re gonna have to come clean about that at some point, right?”

“Yeah,” you shrug. “But it was right around the time the twins turned five and we really just met. I didn’t want to explain my fuck ups to her then and there. I didn’t know if she was one of those moms that would gossip about me behind my back and next thing you know, the twins are ostracized for it.”

“You watch too much television,” Nanami tuts, but he knows there’s some truth in your words.

“Hey!” you point, opening up your purse and reaching inside for the keys. “It happens! And I don’t want it to happen to our kids. I’ll tell her when the time’s right.”

Entering your home, you flicker on the lights with a deep breath. Silence wraps around the two of you comfortably before you’re turning around to Nanami. “I had lots of fun tonight.”

“Me, too,” he smiles, hands shoved in his pockets. “One of our best dates.”

“Better than watching me fail at mini-golf?”

“Oh, even better.” 

Again does your mind trail off as you pull out a seat around the dining area, Nanami takes the seat right next to you, positioning it right in front of you. Propping your elbow on the table, you hold the weight of your head before glancing over at the blond. “Do you wish we did things differently?”

Before he can answer, you add on. “Like, say if we still slept together and I didn't leave. Would you change the directions in which things went?”

“I—” He takes a deep breath before pausing. He's thought about this himself. Thought about the what ifs, wondering what would have happened if you didn't leave and you had told him he was pregnant. How he would have reacted and what both of your lives would've been. He's thought about whether he confessed to you before that, and courted you the proper way. Would things have played out right? But even those possibilities brought up a bunch of variables and outcomes that he never considered before. Even the current still has a chance of changing and Nanami doesn't know what to do about it, but he does try not to think about it anymore. “Honestly, no. Not anymore.”

“How come?”

“Because there's a possibility that in that lifetime you wouldn't end up in my arms.”

Nanami's lips taste of the chocolate cake the two of you shared at dinner, sweet yet a bite of bitterness surrounding your taste buds. He’s tender with his touches, big hands running down the smooth silk of the dress as he tugs you closer by your waist. From your chair to his, the jump is quick as he swallows your gasp the moment it leaves you. Your legs straddle his waist, your dress hiking dangerously close to your waist as your fingernails dig into top underneath the tuxedo coat. His fingers intertwined with your locs, gently digging into your scalp as he savors the taste of your lips. The shine of your lip gloss dulls, but he still feels the stickiness of it.

You melt into the comforts of him, enjoying the feeling of his warm hands against your body. You hum so softly, the vibrations leaving from your chest and soaring right through him. The only time you both depart is for a quick breath that lasts for barely a second before both of your lips search for each other. He grounds your hips into his before finally, his mouth leaves yours and he’s creating a trail of wet kisses down to the junction of your neck. He pulls cavity-inducing moans from you, making him twitch underneath you. 

A daring hand reaches for the thin zipper of your dress, thick digits that pull it down. Retracting from each other, you stare into his pleading brown eyes with a subtle nod as you let the dress pool down to your waist. Breasts spilling out, Nanami’s smooth hands come to cup one of them. Abruptly standing, the chair underneath him screeches loudly. Holding you in his arms, he finds purchase in your lips again as he makes a path to your bedroom. Stumbling through the open door, he gently drops you down on the bed, his lips never leaving yours as he leans down into you. You feel everything of Nanami, his body pressed against yours, a few stray hairs that fall forward tickling your forehead, his mouth on you, and the bulge pressing into your crotch. 

He reaches for the silky fabric, dragging it down your hips as your nimble fingers reach to pull at the buttons of his shirt. Undoing them, your wandering hands would linger against his chest, dancing dangerously down the smoothness of muscles before you’d unbutton the next. One hand traveling under his shirt, wrapping around his waist as the next dipped to feel the blond tufts of his happy trail before undoing the last button to make it fall completely open. 

He’s got you nearly bare, the only thing left of you is the flimsy laced panties that cover your intoxicating nectar. His erection pressed against it as your long nails reached into the pool of his blond happy trail before touching the hem of his pants. You unbuckle the belt before dragging the zipper down slowly.

Meeting his eyes, you bite down on your bottom lip as your pupils twinkle deviously. Nanami chuckles, pecking you. “You’re such a tease.”

You only giggle before your hands dip to cup the erection, eliciting a groan to fall from his lips. Painted with lust, his groan is dragged out before he’s swatting your playful hand and ridding himself of his pants. He’s dragging down his mouth down your body, soft pecks on your dark nipples, lips flicking at the pebbles before diving deeper. Strong hands that spread your legs apart when his nose pokes at your clit, smelling the arousal between you before feeling it. He lets out a guttural moan before planting a kiss against the pad of your crotch and discarding your panties. It’s thrown down in the corner of your bed, putting your cunt on display for him. The dim light of your bed lamp illuminates the room, giving him enough lighting to see your glistening folds and to see you in all of your naked glory once again. “Beautiful.”

His fingers dip in between your folds, spreading your wetness across and up to your clit, coating the bud in you. You let out a soft mewl, holding your weight with your elbows as your chest rises and falls. Slow blinks as you enjoy this sight of Nanami between your legs. Him pressing against your sensitive bud has your mouth open before you’re gnawing on your bottom lip to contain yourself. 

One thick and long finger at your entrance, dipping inside to explore before his comfort results in a second one. Your high-pitched mewls and whines sound the room as he fucks you languidly with his digits. His head drops to pepper kisses on your clit before he’s wrapping his mouth around the bud. Lapping at it, the taste of you is something he quickly gets addicted to. Humming against you, Nanami bucks his hips into the bed as he feels his erection hardening even more. His length is so needy and desperate for a taste of you, but he restrains himself as he enjoys your body. 

Your mouth falls open, tugging on your sheets as Nanami’s free arm pulls you closer to him. Sucking on your bud, time is forgotten as he feels your hips buck and your walls clamping down on his fingers inside you. Your mouth goes dry, but still you manage to croak out his name. “Kento, ‘m g’nna… g’nna cum.”

He only acknowledges you with a small groan, the grasp he has on your hip tightening as an assurance, letting you know that it’s fine to cum. And when you spill all over his fingers, legs tensing up as your back arches off the bed, he doesn’t let up. Drunk on the feeling of your body, he continues. His name leaves your lips like a mantra. Kento, Kento, Kento as you squirm your way into the next orgasm and the next. 

And your whimpers are soothing and melodic when he arises from between you, sucking off his fingers before his lips attach to yours for a savory kiss. The cotton of his underwear is soaked and stained with his precum, creating a bigger wet patch when he slots his erection in between you, grinding his hips down into your sopping cunt and sucking up the remnants of your release.

Your juices continue to leak as your arms instinctively wrap around Nanami, tugging him close as you both moan into each other. One hand drags down his underwear, pooling to his feet before kicking them off the bed and joining his pants. Cock springing free, his fingers wrap around the base before he’s aligning it with your entrance. Pulling away from you, he looks into your eyes. “Are you on birth control?”

Lustful eyes turning into playful ones, you cock up an eyebrow. “What? Don’t want any more children with me?”

“Oh, I want more with you,” he chuckles. “But we have plenty of other time for babymaking.”

“Yes,” you giggle. “I’m on birth control.”

Nanami enjoys the look on your face when you’re taking his length again. Getting re-accustomed to his length, your mouth falls open as you peer up at him through needy and beautiful eyes. Dipping down, he grabs your bottom lip with his teeth, gently biting down as he pushes the rest of him inside you. He whispers, “Missed this,” through them.

“Missed it, too,” you squeak, arms tightly wrapped around his shoulders as your fingers knot into his hair. He stills inside of you, making you as well as him adjust. He shuts his eyes as he relives that moment of being first burrowed inside you before he’s pulling out completely. Your juices drag a line of arousal, connected to his cock before he’s entering you once more. 

Both of you savor this moment, nice and slow strokes inside of you as he takes his time. With every thrust he always ends up with every inch of him inside, kissing at your g-spot as your legs tense up every time. Limbs wrapped around his waist, your lower body hugs him snug against you as he rocks his hips. 

You feel complete, in every aspect possible. Two children with a man that loves them and— hopefully— you. From pining to self-inflicted fuck ups, the universe had spoken its word into you, reuniting the both of you in this sexual matrimony that has you both intertwining your souls with the other. He can’t seem to get enough of you, and you him. Enveloped in each other’s limbs, when you’re clenching around Nanami’s cock, he knows that you’re close. Himself, too, when he feels that familiar coil in his stomach. “Cum with me, sweetheart?”

And the breathy ‘yes’ you let out drags a moan from him as his hands reach for your hair, fingers touching the thick strands of your locs as he caresses your face. Legs tightening around him as you arch your back, the string holding you together snapping as you feel his length twitch inside of you. Your nails dig into his shoulders, creating red marks as his thrusts become less rhythmic and more sloppy as he fucks you through your orgasm. He enjoys the last squelches from your pussy when he feels your body loosening its tension and your pussy relaxing.

Pulling away from you, he sees where the two of you meet, the base of his cock holding a white ring as your pussy’s messy and leaking. And he needs one more kiss. Just one more kiss from you before he’s saying the words. “I love you.”

And you feel secure in his hold when you kiss him back. “I love you, too,” leaving your lips when he pulls away.

—

“I think it’s time the kids started calling you dad,” you tell Nanami the moment he answers the phone. The thought plaguing your mind as you questioned why you had prolonged it for a little over a year now. There had been slip ups before, where Yuu or Tyla would refer to Nanami as ‘dad’ rather than his respective last name. Nanami always corrected them, doing the hard part for you. Now that you two are together officially, he deserves his rightful title. Something that should’ve been from the moment you found out you were pregnant. 

And you thought the moment you voiced it out, Nanami would be ecstatic. That he would be gleeful that it’s come time that the twins know the truth. Six years old now and coming to learn and understand more, they need to know that their father’s been with them this entire time. However, on the other line, you don’t hear a word. When you do, Nanami sounds more apprehensive than anything. “Y-you do?”

Voice cracking, you become uneasy yourself. Does he need more time? You don’t want to rush him, but you felt like this has been enough. “What? You don’t think so?”

“I do!” He clears his throat, collecting his thoughts as he straightens up. Around his cubicle, he flips over his ‘on break’ sign before standing up to head to a more private and secluded area. Stepping past people as he fixes the phone closer to his ears, he maneuvers himself far away from his coworkers and peers. “It’s just… I guess I got so used to them calling me by my surname that that idea never crossed my mind. It did, but—”

“I understand what you mean.” On your lunch break, you sit down at the small table for two. With your coffee in hand, you flash a small wave in Higuruma’s direction. He gives you a curt nod as he passes. Staying true to his words, the two of you have barely spoken since you let him know that you didn’t want to bring the relationship anywhere further. There were times where hello’s turned into small conversations, but it never went into anything more. “But, are you comfortable with it?”

“Yeah,” he breathes, heart pounding against his chest. This joy that he feels reverberating against his chest as he fidgets with the edges of his suit jacket. “When do you suppose we’d have this discussion with them?”

“Today? This evening?” you squeak, creasing your eyebrows. “I was hoping you’d meet me at my place after I pick them up and discuss it with them. If you have something to do later on this evening and can’t, then that’s fine!”

“No, no,” he shakes his head. “This evening should be fine.”

As said and done, Nanami knocks on your door later that evening. You’ve prepared a small dinner for the four of you, fixing a plate for the twins before preparing something for you and Nananmi. Running to answer the door, your eyes brighten when seeing him, letting him inside. As he greets you, he plants a gentle kiss on your cheek before heading toward the savory aroma of food. 

“I thought we could tell them over dinner,” you say in a low voice. “Like a little family.”

“I like that,” Nanami smiles. 

Joining the three of you, Nanami slips into his seat right as you slide his plate towards him and get yours. Tyla and Yuu are already digging in their food, forgetting about prayers as they hold their children’s chopsticks. Chastising them lightly that they drop it as you all join hands and pray. You both let them enjoy the rest of their food, digging into yours silently before you’re humming in thought. Glancing over at Nanami, you two hold a silent conversation, which he ends with him giving you the go ahead. 

“How do you guys feel about Mr. Nanami?” The question immediately calls for their attention as their mouths are stuffed with food. Chewing as they digest your question and ponder in deep thought. Though, it doesn’t really call for it. When they swallow, their eyes sparkle as they smile.

“I love Mr. Nana,” Yuu grins. “He’s very nice. He plays with me.”

“Me, too!” Tyla grins. “And he gives me my favorite snacks!”

You feel yourself tearing up at that. It makes this all the more easier. 

“So,” you begin. “What if I told you guys something—” You engage them, voice getting low as you peer over at Nanami. He chuckles at your antics as your eyes widen before you’re looking away. “— Something very… very… I’m just going to tell you something.”

Taking in a deep breath, you fix your posture before looking at Nanami. Scooching your chair closer to him, you take his hand. Intertwining your fingers with his, the soft gesture speaks volumes. “A very long time ago, before you two were born, Nanami and I were very close friends. Very, very close friends, right?”

They nod their heads as they follow along. “And one night, me and Nanami kissed—” Very dramatically do you gasp before Yuu and Tyla are gagging and saying ‘ew.’ “— But before mommy and Mr. Nanami became boyfriend and girlfriend, mommy had to leave. Do you guys remember grandma and how grandma was very sick?”

“Yeah,” Yuu nods. “And how Grandma is in Heaven now?”

“Yes,” you hum. “So, mommy moved back to the United States to take care of grandma. But, mommy didn’t tell her friends that she was leaving. Mommy didn’t do the right thing. So when mommy— so when I left, I found out I was pregnant with you guys.”

The twins followed along, slowly grasping what you were trying to tell them. However, you can tell that they were just trying to understand the bigger picture. With a deep breath, you look over at Nanami once more for reassurance. “So, Mr. Nanami is actually your daddy.”

“Yes,” Nanami whispers slowly. “And if you guys want, you can call me ‘dad.’”

Nanami did the honors of tucking the kids into bed while you lounged on the couch, replaying the events of the night. The kids were really receptive and accepting of the circumstances, easily accepting Nanami as their dad and pointing out that they caught the two of you kissing. You don’t know how a pair of six year olds managed to make you feel embarrassed for loving your boyfriend. With a glass of red wine sloshing away in your hand, the creak of the bedroom door before feet pattering against the tile calls your attention. You down the remains of the glass before twisting your body to view the handsome blond. Eyes lighting up as Nanami joins you on the couch, you immediately plop your head against his chest. 

“That went better than expected,” Nanami chuckles. “You did better than I would have. I would’ve just ended up telling them that I was their father.”

“I think that would have worked as well though,” you peer up at him. “They love you as a father before they even knew you were theirs.”

“You’re probably right,” Nanami sighs before reaching for the remote, turning on the television. The blue light shines against your bodies as you make yourself even more comfortable against Nanami. He shuffles himself, arms wrapping around you and pulling you snug against him. Feeling safe and secure in each other’s hold, your body feels like it’s lost all tension as you melt in his hold. Eyes shutting, you feel your family finally forming. Just as it should’ve been.

( ˶˘ ³˘(⋆❛ ہ ❛⋆)!♡

TWO YEARS LATER

Pushing your body up as Tyla and Yuu run towards the vast body of water, sand coats your legs and sticks to your skin. Nanami has to hold himself from pulling you back into his arms, stopping you from chasing after the twins. They’ve grown significantly within the two years, standing taller than most of their classmates. They have a bright future ahead of them as Tyla’s taken an interest in gymnastics and Yuu wants to learn the piano. Having dabbled a little in the instrument, Nanami’s teaching him as much of the basics that he can remember, and have enrolled Tyla in a gymnastics class.

He’s missed a lot of their earlier years, not getting to experience the moments they took their first steps, when they started eating solid foods, and them saying their first words. He wasn’t there to help you mourn the loss of your mother, and to help you get through those trying times. He wasn’t there for a lot of things, but he’s grateful to be here now and that you’ve allowed him back in your life again. He’s grateful that the two of you got a second chance to make things right, to do things right. 

Watching you stand tall, he admires the view. Beautiful brown skin that glows under the sun as it shines from the layers of sunscreen you’ve rubbed onto your body with his assistance. Running down to the shore after the kids, you reach for both of their hands as the waves come in roughly. Pushing himself to sit up, he rummages through his beach bag, reaching for the small item before pushing himself up to stand. He watches for a moment before following after you. He runs his thumb over the smooth and velvety exterior of the box, holding it behind his back. 

Feet digging into the wet sand, shells prickling softly at the rough exterior of your feet, there’s a smile on your face. This beach— the very beach you remember Nanami taking you to when you found out your mother was diagnosed with cancer. It doesn’t make you as somber as it used to, the breath you release being one of happiness more than anything. 

Inching deeper into the water before the water kisses just below your knees. Tyla and Yuu are squealing loudly, the cold water making them splash it everywhere. You flinch when they touch you unexpectedly, giggling along with them as you all adjust to the cold temperatures. It's needed though, it's such a hot day out today.

You can feel his presence, the tall shadow that looms over you before it disappears. And with an exasperated breath, you try beckoning Nanami to join you three. “Nanami, come! The water feels so refreshing!”

But he never joins your side, not saying a word. Knitting your eyebrows, you stop. Holding onto the twins’ hands, you twist around to call forth Nanami only to stop in your tracks. Your heart stops as you stare down at the man on his knees. “Oh my gosh! Kento…”

“(Y/N),” his deep voice rasps. “I've rehearsed this in my mind, on paper, and… to Gojo, admittedly. And yet, I don't know where to start now that I'm here in this position.

“I’ve had my eyes on you since we were first years in university. I've thought about every significant milestone we'd share together. From our first date to proposing and to having kids. I had everything planned out, but that's not what life had planned out for us. We’ve done things backwards, but I'm happy that together we're going forwards. And I want to keep going forward with you, if you'll allow me to. “So, (Y/N), I ask…”

From the very few visitors that are in close vicinity, they watch the heartfelt moment. They watch as your eyes start to water and the twins tug on you. Hands brought to your face, you have to stop yourself from rubbing at your eyes. Your breath has been taken away when he opens the box. A glimmering gold band warped prettily with the sparkle of your birthstone right in the center. It’s absolutely gorgeous. 

“Will you marry me?”

THE END.

CREDITS. thank you so much to user @todorosie for taking the time to beta read this fic for me. it means a lot that you read this hunk of a thing and helped me edit.

GIRL NO YOU’RE MOURNING SOMETHING THAT HASN’T EVEN HAPPENED YET AGAIN!!!!!!

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page 232 of the broken kingdoms.....nk jemisin when i catch you.... you've already put me through the broken earth trilogy was that not enough? she probably giggles while destroying the relationships i root for

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PROOF IN CASE YOU NEED IT

thinking about desperately riding nanami kento. first few buttons of his blue shirt are undone and his tie is loose around his neck. and you’re tugging on the damn thing, pulling him in closer for a kiss, mumbling something about how ugly his tie is. and he laughs, deep and breathless, as he gives your ass a squeeze. he makes you ride him harder, tells you that the two of you can go shopping first thing tomorrow morning

‧₊˚🪻✩ scent prompts

¹⁾ cigarette smoke

²⁾ cheap, dollar-store cologne

³⁾ pavement slabs after rain

⁴⁾ burning popcorn

⁵⁾ pungent gasoline

⁶⁾ heady amber incense

⁷⁾ salty sea air

⁸⁾ freshly turned earth

⁹⁾ sharp lemon zest

¹⁰⁾ floral laundry detergent

¹¹⁾ acrid black smoke

¹²⁾ stale sweat

¹³⁾ sweet coconut body wash

¹⁴⁾ rich coffee beans

¹⁵⁾ sautéing garlic

¹⁶⁾ iron-tinged blood

¹⁷⁾ sharp acetone

¹⁸⁾ crisp mint toothpaste

¹⁹⁾ synthetic cleaning supplies

²⁰⁾ cheap hotel hand soap

²¹⁾ pristine paperbacks

²²⁾ expensive, luscious perfume

²³⁾ cheap, waxy candles

²⁴⁾ grass cuttings

²⁵⁾ dense smoke

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