This Is The Only Description Of Castiel I Wholeheartedly Accept. Oh Yes I Do.

This is the only description of Castiel I wholeheartedly accept. Oh yes I do.

Things everyone forgets about Castiel:

1.  In his true form, he probably looks something like this:

These nice looking fellas here are angels, as described in Ezekiel 10:14.  They’re said to be massive in size (hence the Chrysler building remark) with at least six wings and four faces. 

When asked, Misha said that Castiel’s four faces consist of a lion, a zebra, (unsurprisingly) a sock monkey, and (even less surprisingly) a cat.  No wonder he likes cats so much – he’s literally part cat himself.  They are his people.

2.  He wasn’t just a “random foot soldier.”

I see Cas described this way in a lot of fanfics, and it never fails to irk me.  For one thing, Cas isn’t just some run-in-the-mill, middle-class angel: he’s a seraph.  According to the Christian angelic hierarchy, this is the highest-ranking and most powerful form of angel.

Here are two of them guarding the Divine Throne, literally placing the Seraphim closest to God on the Biblical hierarchy.

“Attending Him were the mighty Seraphim, each with six wings.”  (Isaiah 6:2)

Not only that, even among the Seraphim, Cas has always been exceptional:  he was the leader of his own garrison, and charismatic enough to establish leadership among the angels, leading a rebellion first against an archangel (Raphael), and then against “God” (Metatron), even after he’d already established himself as a dangerous and unpredictable figure in the other angels’ eyes.

In short, he is a legitimately terrifying force of nature.  Fear him.

3.  He’s actually incredibly smart. 

In “fanon,” it seems to be an increasingly common trope to depict Cas as a helpless, incompetent child with no life skills, completely dependent on the Winchesters for protection.  This makes very little sense, considering he not only has eons of military experience, but he’s strategically brilliant.  

Case in point:  remember that time he took out a room full of angels by carving an Enochian Sigil into his chest?

Or the time he hid from heaven for months on end in an eerily similar cluster of chain restaurants, while simultaneously hiding an angel tablet under his skin?

Or the time he escaped from the angelic equivalent of the Overly Attached Girlfriend by buckling his seat belt and crashing them into a ditch?

Even as a human, he was incredibly resourceful, getting masking symbols tattooed onto his skin, and ultimately killing at least three full-fledged angels, completely without the use of his own powers.

It’s also important to note that in this season, he also proved himself to be able to function as a hunter without Sam or Dean’s assistance.

Even his most ill-advised decisions were actually completely logic based:  his deal with Crowely was made in order to defeat Raphael and stop a second apocalypse (which he actually did), and his most recent “deal with the devil” was made in order to defeat Amara, which even Sam subsequently acknowledged to be their only option.

So don’t be a Metatron:  “mentally deficient puppy” vibes aside, Castiel is no idiot. 

4.  Even as angels go, he’s extremely unusual.

Another thing that bothers me is that I often see Cas’s eccentricities attributed to his species:  his enduring social awkwardness, refusal to wear anything but a suit and trench coat, off-beat, understated sense of humor, and Aspergers-y inability to catch social cues, perceive sarcasm, or express emotions (despite being one of the few angels to actually have them to begin with) are often attributed to being standard characteristics of the angelic race.  

But let’s have a look at some of the other angels we know.  Do we ever really see them do any of this?  At all?

And before you attribute this to the fact that Cas has less experience on Earth, take a look at the other angel who hasn’t been exposed to humanity in quite a few eons:

Bottom line is, Cas isn’t just “weird” by human standards.  As an entity, he is singularly odd.

God (literally) made him and threw away the mold.

5.  Jokes aside, there is virtually no way he’s heterosexual.

I can’t help but find debates over angelic sexual preference within the fandom to be slightly ridiculous.  While ninety percent of the fandom enthusiastically screams, “He’s gay!” there is a small percentage that firmly insists he’s straight as an arrow.  Roughly two percent of the fandom claims he’s pan or ace, which honestly are the only sexuality headcanons I find logical.

Because, not to make anyone uncomfortable, but Castiel isn’t a guy – he isn’t even technically a “he:”  Angels are canonically WITHOUT GENDER.  This means that while he obviously does experience sexual (or at least emotional) attraction, it would make absolutely no sense for him to be attracted to women exclusively.  He physically *cannot* be straight. 

Keeping this in mind, it also makes scenes like these even more suggestive (if that’s even possible):

Seriously, for those of you wearing your heterosexuality goggles, just imagine Cas had a female vessel.  Then imagine just how “platonic” these scenes would look.