Jason Grace, I Think You Don't Understand

Percy: You’re giving me a sticker?

Mr. Brunner/Chiron: Not just a sticker. That is a sticker of a cat saying “me-wow.”

Percy: I’m not a preschooler.

Mr. Brunner/Chiron: Fine, I’ll take it back.

Percy: I earned this. Back off.

The gods not understanding how demigod kids work😂 I’m just waiting for the moment one of their kids gets a paper cut or something and they’re just like, “PAPER! THEY SOMEHOW GET HURT BY PAPER!”

Okay, but the duality of human beings is SO wild that I’m positive this information would absolutely break them.

There are humans that can survive great heights? But only sometimes? And other times they die? It is really just up to chance and how you land?

Humans can fall down a flight of stairs and say they’re completely fine, but PAPER hurts them and they whine about it all day?

Gunshot wounds? Yeah, we can recover from that (well, depending on where you’re hit, maybe). As long as invisible bacteria doesn’t get into the wound without us noticing... then we might die even if the blood is gone and wound sewn up.

Zeus is like “There are people out there who survive my lightning strikes?” and then learns the same person died like.... three hours later from choking on a hotdog.

Hermes, with a magazine: Athena! Look at this. It says here that 1 in every 15,000 humans die from exercising too much.

Athena: But... they need exercise? All my research says they need exercise!

Annabeth: You did hear the one in FIFTEEN THOUSAND part, right?

Hades: HOW ARE THEY DYING FROM DOING THE THING THEY ARE SUPPOSED TO DO! DAMNIT!

Then you have Demeter running in like:

Demeter: KILL THE MOSQUITOES! KILL THE MOSQUITOES!!!

Ares: Why?

Demeter: Look at this! I ran the numbers while in the Underworld while visiting Persephone. One million people die a YEAR from mosquitoes. We have to kill them.

Ares: There’s no way these punks are dying from these tiny bugs.

Demeter: Apparently, they carry diseases.

Ares, softly: ...holy shit. Biological warfare.

Apollo, flipping a table: IS NOTHING ON THIS GODDAMN PLANET SAFE ANYMORE?!

Chiron, still trying to explain everything: Nothing on this planet was ever safe at any point... ever.

Athena: Pandora’s box?

Chiron: You guys pin wayyyyy too much on that poor girl.

Later on, you have Nico walking up in bubble wrap like ‘okay, which one of y’all told the gods that it hurts when we stub our toes?’ and you got Piper in helmet and knee pads all bitter like ‘It wasn’t me’ and Will is just looking so guilty before quietly going ‘I just wanted to explain how nerves worked’

They try to explain it all to the gods and it just... gets so much worse.

Zeus: So... the medicine... that heals you.... can also kill you...?

Will: I mean, if you overdose, yeah. It’s the same with ambrosia-

Hermes: AMBROSIA CAN KILL YOU!?

Percy: HOW DO YOU NOT KNOW THIS?!

Hephaestus: That’s it. All of you are too fragile. We’re going to have to make a safer planet. This is ridiculous. Maybe we can just put them all on Venus or something-

Leo: We need oxygen to survive, Dad.

Ares: You’re kidding me, right?

Annabeth: Um, no, but... well... we can’t actually have too much oxygen or we’ll-

Poseidon: LET ME GUESS! You die?! For the love of Rhea! How has anyone survived anything?

Nico: Well... we all end up dead at some point, so arguably... we don’t survive?

And finally:

Jason: you guys created humans. Why don't you know this?

Zeus: No. Prometheus created humans and quite frankly he did a TERRIBLE job-

Chain of Iron & Magnus Chase and The Sword of Summer :)

Coach Hegde: New rule: No animals in the house

Leo: wow, you’re really gonna throw Frank out like that?

Frank: *whacks leo on the head*

"Stars," she whispered. "I can see the stars again, my lady."

A tear trickled down Artemis's cheek. "Yes, my brave one. They are beautiful tonight."

"Stars," Zoe repeated. Her eyes fixed on the night sky. And she did not move again.

reblog quickly still you can

🌌The pretty wine boy🌌

Apollo: You're beautiful.

Hermes: You know who's more beautiful?

Both:

Both: Dionysus.

“Rainbows, ponies,” Leo muttered aka the pegasi

(The Lost Hero)

:)

Friendly reminder that Nico canonically blushes very easily

My bus is in flames

My son is older than me

Please, Zeus, make it stop