Im Aware This Is An Insane Thing To Say But I Fucking. Love Characters That Are Just Cockroaches. And

Got cursed by thought goblins

*thinks up an idea for a silly quick piece* okay haha let's whip something up real quick

*idea gets more complicated*

*idea gets more complicated*

*idea gets more complicated*

*idea gets more complicated*

oh no

A remix of Thanos' rap from the game "Squid" is playing in the background

Sweet Bud and embarrassed Glenn

“Jing Yuan, did you… let him escape on purpose!?”

"Me? Haha I had nooo ideaaaa"

Another shapeshifter au but it's gunwoo, and the people in his neighborhood keep asking him to babysit their odd pets?!?

(An au set where he's around 30 and moves to a rural area and likes his job and starts up photography again.)

There's a cheeky red haired cat that follows him around a lot, and likes to sit in his lap and on his shoulders. (There was one time he was walking home late and a cat leaped from the wall onto his back, almost knocking him over and giving him a heart attack. He didn't get down until he was bribed with food, and it was quickly apparent that food bribery was a mistake~)

For some reason unknown to gunwoo this has led to him being asked by various neighbours to look after their pets, including: a piano-playing rabbit (yes, that rabbit from the internet), a very shy deer (apparently not a pet but it lives in their back yard? Which is also apparently a full on forest??) (though gunwoo has never experienced anything like it when the deer finally approached him); an actual bird of prey (which was strangely polite), a hamster (which apparently likes watching YouTube), and then there was that one time he played Go with a bear (an actual bear).

the purifier

and summore

i~don't~like~ittt~~

“So, babysitting?”

Alberu follows after the delinquent. From the record the vice-principal gave him access to, Cale frequently drinks alcohol, he often gets himself into a lot of fights, and he barely passed his classes at the end of the grading period. The teachers never call on him in class, girls and boys avoid him alike, and he is- supposedly- completely intolerable.

Which is why Alberu Crossman, who’s only a little older yet infinitely more mature has been assigned by the principal (his father) to get the troublemaker under thumb. Cale's father is quite wealthy, actually, and since there isn't much known about the successor to the Henituse family... it'd be bad if he had to be expelled.

Cale scowled. “Yes, babysitting, your highness. Please, leave if you must,” He jeers at Alberu, but internally he thinks, 'No, really. Please leave.' Otherwise, he might get caught in the act.

Of not actually being Cale.

Roksu aims a sour expression at Alberu, who returns it with a more flowery one. Acting as his twin for the day had been easy enough, mainly because being trash is great!- until Alberu Crossman strolled into his lunch period and introduced himself.

He is even following him out of the school to his job. Well, this job is Roksu’s and not Cale’s, but because he can’t ditch work nor can he get glib-tongued Alberu off his tail-

Well shit.

Thankfully, the kids call him hyung. Except Raon, who calls him human. Hopefully Alberu doesn’t look into it too much. If everything goes right, Alberu Crossman will be Cale's problem to deal with tomorrow. As it should have been.

“I didn’t know you liked kids, Cale,” Alberu smiles charmingly, walking side by side with Roksu. “Can you introduce me?” Roksu struggles to not put on his own disarming smile out of spite, instead plastering on a classic Cale Sneer™. It fits on his face perfectly, like he’s playing a character in a play.

They enter the building and ‘Cale’ guides Alberu to a colorful playroom, decked out in toys and a fountain of running water as the centerpiece (A gift from his father, who is still upset that Roksu doesn't visit more often). There’s a tray of fruits and oatmeal on the small table in the corner of the room, except not a soul to be seen. Picking up a bowl of oatmeal and finding the ceramic to still be hot, Roksu almost smiles.

Alberu frowns. Where are the kids he's supposed to babysit?

Roksu tells the empty air, "Come on out."

Three children appear out of nowhere in front of them.

“Hyung!”

“Human! You’re back!”

“Hyung, nya.” On examines Alberu some more.

All of the kids had been revealed the moment that Roksu spoke, as Raon unveiled the invisibility on them.

Raon runs up and grabs Roksu’s hand, who places it on his head, rubbing the black hair comfortingly. “Mm.” Raon beams at the affection.

“Raon, On, Hong,” they each look up at him at the call of their names. “This is Alberu Crossman, he is doing a report on my trashy behavior. Don’t be rude."

All three children become hostile immediately. “He isn't trash!”

On observes Alberu with an intense glare. Raon shifts under Roksu’s hand, his deep blue eyes glinting with magic. Roksu positions him away from the older teen’s view. Raon grips onto Roksu’s pant leg with a vengeance. Hong stares openly, offensive.

Alberu smiles at them.

"I'm visiting with Cale Hyung for today, nice to meet you."

Hong gasps suddenly.

“He-!” On gives her brother a look, and he clamps his hands over his mouth. Alberu feels a deep curiosity, as if something isn’t quite as it seems.

Roksu sighs. It’s going to be a long hour.

At the midway point, Alberu has easily disarmed the children. They look fascinated at the magic he shows them, while Roksu can only rub a palm over Raon’s shoulder as a warning to keep his dragon magic under control. He's still just a child that wants to brag. Everything is going well.

Bang!

“Hey Roksu! How was-“ Cale bursts through the door, bright red hair equipped with a shit-eating grin, wearing clothes far less fancy than his usual. He tenses up, frozen in place when he spots Alberu on the floor, politely sitting "crisscross applesauce" with the children. Roksu narrows a withering glare at his twin.

“… Roksu?”

Alberu looks at ‘Cale,’ sitting next to him, the one he's spent the entire day with, who is trying to send what must be the real Cale into the sun with his eyes.

“Ha… ha?” Cale winces. Roksu wipes his expression from his face.

“Cale-hyung, run! That’s the human’s bad look!” Alberu’s eyes widen as he watches the confirmed real Cale bolt back into the hallway and out of the front door. Alberu whips his head back toward the stranger behind him, who is a perfect replica of the Cale who ran like Hell. Cale has an identical twin?? Since when? Why doesn't he go to school?

Roksu levels an emotionless gaze at Alberu. “Hello, your highness. Don’t mind me.”

Alberu can only watch in astonishment as this stranger walks out of the playroom, with a smooth and deadly gait as he hunts down his twin like a predator would to prey. He recalls the look 'Roksu' gave him and it sends a shiver down the principal’s son’s spine. That gaze held secrets.

Something about this stranger is even more interesting than the sudden appearance of a twin.

On walks up to him, sitting down in his lap and looking into his eyes. “Roksu-hyung will be back soon, nya!” Hong bounds over and sits next to his sister, grinning widely. Raon huffs and looks at the door. He wants his human to come back.

reading some cale quotes for fic purposes and i can't believe how much you can forget when you blitz through 1000+ chapters in less than two months.

like, cale curses so much. so much. i guess i didn't really internalize it since it was spread out over the whole novel, but he has such a dirty mouth and literally every time he mentions his enemies, he's cursing up a storm.

"i don't care if he's lived a thousand years or not, that shithead is a fucking bastard from now on." cale henituse, on the greatest threat of the whole part one of the novel. he's so eloquent.

i forgot how snarky his internal voice is. actually, maybe not forgot. just, kind of got used to it? until i stopped registering the absolutely sick burns he keeps dishing out on the regular.

it takes him until chapter 270 to realize that he should have just let choi han beat him up. that seems like a lot, but we've still barely reached the eastern continent. adin is still alive. cale doesn't even know who the white star is. the trouble hasn't even started.

also, at one point he actually admits to being raon, on and hong's parent??? out loud??? i can't believe i missed that, the whole dodori thing distracted me.

"raon. I’m someone who cannot forget. don't be like me." i didn't actually forget this one, but it feels like a gut punch every time i read it again.