Drop Whatever You're Doing And Go Read This Incredible Piece By @eclec-tech - Trust Me, You Will Not

the bad batch irl headcanons: brainrot edition.

hunter

watches the boys, breaking bad, and basically anything with jk simmons in it

his top artist on his spotify wrapped was lana del rey and has been lana for 3 years straight

listens to self help audiobooks and true crime podcasts

stopped posting on tiktok because 30 year old moms kept commenting weird freaky shit

makes capcut template edits of himself

snap score is in the millions; his parents were confused on the questionnaire and instead ordered a thot son

tech

listens to playboi carti, earl sweatshirt, and ken carson. below them is classical music

never beats the “erm, actually” allegations. his friends turned him into a nerd sticker to use in conversations

reddit WARRIOR. his karma score is in the millions. he posts, no matter what, every two hours (schedules the posts if needed to). most active in the subreddits r/techtips and r/javascript

obeys the traffic laws in gta but if a pedestrian says some shit like “hey watch where you’re going asshole” he is CLOCKING that mfer

plays swipe games on tiktok religiously and will change his answers to fit better with the “lore”

watches jujutsu kaisen, has a tiktok collection dedicated entirely to gojo edits. despite that, maki is his favorite character

wrecker

his entire tiktok for you page consists of workout videos and cute animals

did the trend of tying a bow on the bicep and breaking it while he flexes

doesn’t know how to take photos of himself; watches tutorials on every social media he can find but still can’t figure it out

listens to bad bitch music. beyoncé, megan thee stallion, tinashe, doja cat, glorilla, nicki minaj, all that stuff.

comments “looked at my girl and smiled because she’s perfect” on a hot girls post

says “what the dog doin” all the time. all. the. time.

crosshair

serves cunt; serves all of the cunt

a back arching straight man; ur gay tote-bag carrying boyfriend

almost all his friends are lesbians. they take him to the queer/sapphic clubs and the chappel roan concerts

comments “why no one hating” on the most INNOCENT and PURE videos just to start arguments

is a biker boy but hates the whole “biker tok” stereotype and so he doesn’t go out on the bike anymore out of fear of being recorded without his consent

instagram notes is his main form of communication; he is an olympic ghoster

echo

his vocabulary contains “skibidi” “what the sigma” and “gyatt”

his most used “social medias,” in order, are pinterest, whatsapp, and tiktok

worked at a waffle house before he got fired for starting a fight

kpop fan. stans newjeans, tomorrow x together, and le sserrafim

the definition of “female rage”; also, indeed, serves cunt. not as much as crosshair, but serves cunt nonetheless.

has 13 daily hours of screen time. what is he doing for those hours? fuck if i know. fuck if he knows. fuck if his PHONE knows. (in reality, he leaves youtube videos playing all night and doesn’t even realize it)

TCW era Bad Batch Dynamics: Fighting

Hunter and Crosshair fight. They’re both avoidant as fuck and are only able to fight it out in the typical sibling way to get out their aggression however they don’t talk afterwards and act like everything is fine so the cycle of resentment FIGHT remission continues.

Wrecker and Crosshair fight in the same way that a rattlesnake that was discovered by a particularly playful large dog fight. The snake means it and is loud and defensive but only occasionally strikes while the dog is having the fucking time of its life and isn’t actually aware that something is wrong. Dog gets tired and leaves or the snake escapes but at the end of the night the snake is snuggled up to the dog for warmth triassic cuddle style.

Tech and Crosshair FIGHT. They’re twins, evenly matched, and have no chain of command dynamics so it is on sight or on slight. They have to be pulled apart like street cats and will sulk for HOURS afterwards. Unlike Hunter and Crosshair, they refuse to act like everything is okay until 1) they are forced into close proximity together (wrecker has locked them in a closet before) OR 2) an injury or close call in battle scares them into making up again.

Echo and Crosshair do not fight. They’re both equally bitchy and are extremely comfortable just using their words to hurt each other, however having similar temperaments it doesn’t get there that often. They have an unspoken understanding that the rest of their squad does not understand.

Echo and Wrecker do not fight. Wrecker would not dream of fighting his beloved grumpy older brother. When Echo scolds him Wrecker might whine and complain about it but he listens. Wrecker respects him too much.

Echo and Hunter fight with their words. As a recruit to their squad, Hunter doesn’t feel comfortable initiating violence in anger with Echo like he does with Crosshair and Echo would never fight a superior. Echo will, however, bitch and let Hunter know exactly why and how little he approves of his shitty decisions. Hunter is more than capable of dishing it back.

Echo and Tech fight. They are both extremely bitchy and like things done their way and are happy to escalate to violence. They work together more often than not so their squabbles are extremely common. They’re also the only ones allowed to fight on the ship because they’ll fix it anyways.

Wrecker and Hunter do not fight. They playfully barb each other which will occasionally end in a gentle punch or light shove, but Hunter has too much patience and Wrecker loves his big brother too much. They never even have long standing disputes.

Wrecker and Tech fight. Tech knows exactly the right things to say to get under Wrecker’s skin and Wrecker has absolutely no patience for Tech’s antics. Tech is also fearless and will purposefully rile Wrecker up in a way no one else is able to. They always are pulled apart by Hunter and Crosshair although Wrecker would never seriously hurt Tech because he knows his strength. They’re also the only pair that talks it out afterwards because Wrecker feels so guilty that he makes an effort to talk it out.

Tech and Hunter do not fight. Tech is chaotic and a bitch, however he admires his big brother too much to really fight with him and Hunter has ridiculous amounts of patience with Tech’s antics. Even when Hunter is a little snappy, Tech understands it’s the stress from the mission while Hunter knows Tech can’t help his quirks and accepts him.

Do you ever have a stupid idea that you just have to get out?

Anakin

finally introducing my Cadet Batch AU, in which the batch are all raised together :)

Rex - Ahsoka 1x05

imagine if Cal and Kanan met after the Purge

i like the headcanon that they were bros back in padawan days, messing around and giving a headache to everyone in the temple c::

maybe it's for the best that the bad batch was only in one arc of the clone wars because can you imagine if anakin and tech interacted for more than a few days? the level of insane flight manuveurs, combined engineering knowledge, and overall unhinged but strategic planning would've made obi-wan go gray YEARS early (i would say hunter too but at this point he was still in his "i fight droids with a knife for funsies and told a general i've never filled out a report in my life" frat boy years he could've cared less about anakin and tech's shenanigans)

Tech would have been so excited to take Phee’s last name

except the problem was, the rest of the Bad Batch took it, too.

It started with Omega. She was out shopping with Tech for one thing or other when he introduced himself as “Tech Genoa” and she just got so excited and bounced up and down and exclaimed, “And I’m Omega Genoa!” And it wasn’t really the time to correct her, except then Wrecker picked up on it and he got so excited because “that’s right, we get a last name now!!” And they just run around the house screaming “Omega Genoa” and “Wrecker Genoa” while a flabbergasted Tech tries to find a tactful way to explain that actually only he gets the last name.

Hunter and Echo of course know how the last name thing works, but they also thinks it’s hilarious, so they start using it, too. First just as a joke around the house, but then it just kinda starts to roll off the tongue, and admittedly, it’s kinda nice having two halves of a name instead of just one. Crosshair thinks the whole thing is absurd, until someone new in town asks him which family he belongs to and he just scoffs and says, “Genoa, obviously,” and he started using it after that.

And that is why Phee came home from an expedition two weeks later to see a hand carved sign on the front of the Batch’s door that reads “The Genoas” and an extremely exasperated but endeared Tech.

I miss Tech