gelamores

Latest Posts by gelamores

in bournemouth rn hehe W/ the parentals i love these little trips we have that r outside the city

hallo new profile new me

Shanghai Express (Josef von Sternberg, 1932)

it is what it is. and I don't know what it is

psa. if we’re mutuals, we’re automatically friends. u don’t need to say things like “sorry to bother” or “sorry im annoying” bc ur not. ur my friend. u can come to me for anything. u need help? im here. wanna chat? hmu. just wanna gush abt your muse? go for it. we’re friends. ily.

ENHYPEN NEW MUSIC LAWWWDDDD Bru they j do it so good everytime…😓😓

How lucifer got me feelin (best bedroom song fr)

this ALBUM IS SO CUNTY I LOVE IT

im just a girl https://twitter.com/hourlyjaeminn/status/1774027999941403119

i definitely understand why chenle admires jaemin and jeno’s builds so much…. second pic is crazy like id PAY for him to put me in a headlock… respectfully 😊😁

SUNGHOON ONE CHANCE PLZ🤣🤣🤣.

Damn bruh

YOU MAKE ME

PAIRING ➩ heeseung x reader

SUMMARY ➩ struck with insomnia your entire life, you’ve taken to exploring the city restless all night. things change when you meet a tall boy with tired eyes and bruised knuckles

WARNINGS ➩ heeseung is lowkey crazy and obsessed with reader, parental death and abuse and implied violence, sexual scenes and commentary, mental health talk (especially insomnia)

WC ➩ 17k

AUTHORS NOTE ➩ NOOO PART 2 plz don’t request im so serious i rlly love this story and it’s completed it has nothing else to add! im glad you guys enjoy my work enough to want more but when there is no feedback in ur comment and just “need part 2” when i spent so much time writing 13k+ words it makes me feel terrible lol. i rlly hope you love this as much as me (NOT PROOFREAD)

Your mother used to tell you that she thought you were born from a piece of the moon.

When you were old enough to understand her and her strange sayings, she’d tell you stories about how when you were a baby you’d never sleep through a night. She looked mystified as she explained to you the ways in which you’d gain energy every time the sun set, becoming whiny and ornery whenever she’d take you with her to run errands during the day.

She told you how you struggled in school for most of your early years, always being found curled up in your backpack cubby or under the slides at the playground because you hadn’t gotten enough sleep the night before.

You always were much more cynical than your mother, less of a dreamer and typically prone to aggravation or grumpy tired mumbles. She’d tell you your connection with the moon was a blessing, a lifelong friend for you and you’d retort back that it was a nuisance.

When your mom died you finally realized what she had meant for the first time. You spent nights awake, like usual, but now they were accompanied by nothing but the sounds of your low sobs and your father drinking himself stupid just below your bedroom. It wasn’t until you cracked open your bedroom window for some fresh winter air did you catch sight of the moon and finally feel it, finally feel the connection you’d always been told you had.

Years had passed now and while you didn’t cry every night anymore, you still rarely found yourself able to sleep through the night.

You’d also turned your back on the moon again now that you were older and still just as restless, sleeping throughout your classes and lacking any social life considering the way you wandered through the halls like a ghost with sunken eyes and dark circles.

It was frustrating to you that nothing seemed to be working, no amount of teas or yoga exercises. You’d gone as far as to take prescribed sleep medication, only working enough to make you more exhausted than you already were yet not putting you to rest like you were longing for.

Years of trying and you’ve mostly given up, accepted your condition and never once considered it the blessing your mother had tried to convince you it was.

Blessings wouldn’t leave your bones aching, they wouldn’t leave you slow blinking trying to understand what your teachers were saying or stumbling holding your lunch tray. Blessings surely wouldn’t have you stood in the middle of a dirty 7/11, clutching three bags of chips and a large slushee while you impatiently waited for the two people in front of you to move along.

You’d realized a few things by being a night owl, only ever interacting with people having the same issue as you or people who worked early enough that you’d pass by them on your way back to your house.

You’d taken to spending your nights awake out in the city, sick of staring at your ceiling or scrolling down the same boring timelines that carried nothing but the same content posted thousands of times with different wordings. So you started to explore at some point during high school, each night pushing yourself to wander further and find something interesting before heading back.

Sometimes you ended up at the river, sitting and watching drunk older men laugh with their friends like they were teenagers, catching the ends of failed dates as they walked home with their heels in their hands.

Other times you sat and drank coffee in the few 24 hour shops scattered around the city, sipping it slowly until it was cold and the added sugar was hardening at the bottom of your paper cup.

Most times however you simply found yourself stood in this exact position, holding your snacks of choice and tapping your foot impatiently while you waited for the drunk college students in front of you to stop joking around with the exhausted cashier and pay for their beers. It wasn’t that late yet, not quite the time of night that got you weird stares for wandering around in your pajamas.

You could hear the cashiers tired voice repeating their total to them, asking if they wanted to pay with cash or card and you sighed softly. You tilted to the side with an exaggerated sway so you could see over their laughing bodies, vaguely meeting eyes with the boy behind the counter before flopping back to your original position.

A heavy sigh was slipping out of your mouth before you even realized it and one of the drunk men turned back to look at you, an eyebrow cocked in offense as he let out a nasty laugh after taking you in.

You were pretty used to that reaction, standing in your plaid pajamas with your favorite bunny slippers and knitted hat. Your eyes were low and heavy with sleep deprivation, an annoyed glint to your expression that seemed to aggravate him further once the glare was set towards him.

“Are we bugging you Ms?” He was asking it in a mockingly sweet tone, clearly antagonizing you due to your impatience. You sighed again and your eyes drifted to the side for a moment in indifference, too exhausted to hold a conversation let alone argue with a grown man who didn’t know how to behave in a public setting.

“Yeah.. a little bit.” You were casually mumbling after a few beats of him and his friend staring at you, realizing now they weren’t going to just let you go without a response.

He was scoffing like it was the craziest thing he’d ever heard and you felt a little jolt of your inner alert system when he was taking a step towards you, his much larger frame slightly intimidating on top of the fact he was drunk and not thinking clearly.

He stopped early in his advances however and you were confused for a second before you registered the sound of the cashier clearing his throat, the two men turning back to look at him with an incredulous look. When you’d first gotten a glimpse of him he’d been bent over the counter, his elbows resting against it with a bored expression but now that he was standing up to his full height you faltered a bit at how tall he was.

The two men seemed to be thinking the same thing as you, suddenly hesitant in their childish behavior and awkwardly handing him a wadded up bill before taking their case of beer and staggering out of the convenience store.

“Thanks.” You were muttering and dumping your snacks out onto the counter, awkwardly catching one of the candy bars that bounced off a bag of chips and almost fell back onto the ground.

“No problem.” He was responding back with a small shrug and you glanced at him curiously, scanning his tired eyes down to the work uniform that didn’t fit him properly.

“You’re not Jake.” You were announcing and he faltered in his scanning, eyes widening a touch as he looked down at you. He was wearing a name tag but you came by often enough to know that it wasn’t his own, never having seen him before and growing used to the friendly smile the usual third shifter would give you every time you dragged yourself in.

“Uh.. no. I’m not, yeah you’re right.” He was awkwardly muttering back and you almost felt bad for calling him out so directly so you laughed a bit to ease the tension, just as awkward considering you weren’t used to extended social interaction this late at night. “He had a concert he couldn’t miss.. asked me to take over.”

You were nodding softly, mouth parting in understanding and awkwardly shuffling while the conversation quickly died into a weird silence. The sounds of your slippers against the tiled floor was scratchy and too loud for your taste, making you wince slightly at how embarrassing this whole interaction was.

“Are you getting paid?” You don’t know why you asked him another question, why you were carrying on a conversation when it’d been years since you’d had one randomly like this but you liked the way his big eyes flickered back up to you.

“Yeah of course.” He was breaking out into a wide grin at the mention of it, finishing scanning your snacks and looking at the register for a second like he’d forgotten what to do next. “I’m normally up all night anyways so I don’t mind much.”

This piqued your interest but you kept your face neutral, nodding softly and picking at the peeling leather of your wallet while you waited for him to give you your total. He was looking up at you again before he spoke and his eyes landed on your hat for a second, still smiling softly as he looked at the knitted bunny ears.

You cleared your throat and he stopped staring, stammering out how much it had cost you and you slid a few bills over to him while watching the way he fumbled around trying to get the register to open.

“Well… have a good night then.” You were mumbling to him while grabbing the plastic bags he was handing you over the clear divider, your fingers brushing against his warm knuckles for a second. “Not Jake.”

“Goodnight.” He was casually saying back and you wanted to correct him on his wording and tell him you didn’t sleep much either, tell him you understood filling your nights with mindless task and the dark circles under his big eyes. Instead you just bit the inside of your cheek and turned to leave. “Have fun wandering.”

——

You’d left early the next night, starting your walk around midnight instead of the usual 3am and you hurried down to the bus stop that would take you deep into the city. You pulled your headphones on tight and chewed on your lip as you waited for the stop you were planning to get off at.

When you got there, you were tugging on the stop signal line and standing up before the driver pulled the brakes. You swayed slightly when he came to a complete stop and you thanked him as you hopped off the high step, speed walking towards your destination and adjusting your bunny hat on your head before you passed through the doors.

The loud chime of the stores entrance bell rang uncomfortably loud through your ears and you winced at the volume, ducking behind one of the tall shelves and grabbing a few snacks at random before making your way over to the register.

Jake was there again now, giving you that familiar greeting smile and you couldn’t help but feel a small wave of disappointment. You weren’t sure why you thought the boy from last night would be back again considering he’d clearly told you he was just filling in for his friend but you frowned slightly and mumbled a greeting to the boy in front of you instead.

“You’re here early.” Jake was starting and you almost sighed. He was friendly and you admired how much energy he had but he often tried to engage in conversation with you whenever you came by, despite the annoyed glances you occasionally threw his way. “You almost missed me.”

You picked your head up at this, suddenly more alert and raising an eyebrow towards him in interest. As far as you knew, Jake was the only third shift worker and he must’ve barely started considering how early in the night it still was so he must’ve meant he was leaving before his usual time.

“Who’s going to watch the store then?” You were asking him and you tried to ignore how knowing the smile he was giving you was, laughing slightly at the fact you were suddenly interested in what he had to say for the first time ever.

“My best friend, Heeseung.” He was responding slowly and you faltered slightly, not knowing the boy from yesterday’s name so you didn’t want to get too excited over nothing. “He helped me out last night and said it was more interesting than he expected so he offered again.”

“He offered?” You were speaking before he even finished his last syllable and you flushed with embarrassment at the look he gave you, shuffling awkwardly on your feet and waiting for him to respond now that you confirmed it was the same person.

He didn’t say anything but he gave a soft hum of agreement and continued to swiftly bag your snacks, much more natural and efficient than his friend but you liked the way Heeseung stared at the register like it was an alien object. You were interested in him just from the small conversation you had, although feeling uncomfortable at the emotion considering it wasn’t something you usually felt.

You chalked it down to the fact he reminded you of yourself, not so much in his lazy smiles and casual demeanor but something about the way his tired eyes looked around.

Jake was opening his mouth again to speak and you looked up at him curiously but you both froze at the sound of the entrance bell ringing again, looking over to see the boy in question entering.

He froze when he saw the two of you staring at him, eyes falling to your hat and then down to your face which caused his to flicker with recognition. He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his neck, looking even taller now that he wasn’t standing behind the counter.

Heeseung was wearing a large hoodie pulled over his head and you could see the wires of his headphones going down into his shirt, tangled around his wrist that was clutching onto the strap of the backpack he was wearing. It was light looking and you weren’t sure if he had anything inside it or if he was just carrying it to give himself something to hold onto.

“Hey.” Jake was smiling at him and simultaneously handing you your plastic bag full of random snacks, hitting you with the reminder you had no real reason to stay in the store now despite the fact Heeseung had just arrived.

“Um.. thanks.” You were awkwardly muttering and taking it from him, shifting a few steps towards the door but stopping when you realized the tall boy was still standing in front of it and you had no way around him.

He was watching you still with a curious expression and you felt embarrassed suddenly, knowing Jake must have pieced together your reason for coming here so early and now he was watching you clam up and leave before you’d even gotten the chance to speak a word to the boy.

You were just standing there in silence, waiting for him to move and silently praying he would do you didn’t have to awkwardly shuffle around his large frame, when he suddenly was adjusting the backpack on his shoulders and clearing his throat while looking past you towards his friend.

“Change of plans. I’m busy tonight.” He was saying in a low determined voice and you could hear Jake sigh from behind you, your eyes widening slightly in confusion until the other boy was looking back at you with a small smile on his face. “Want to hang out with me?”

It took a few seconds for you to register he was actually asking you, staring up at him with an open mouth and stuttering for a moment before giving up on a verbal answer and nodding your head swiftly. He smiled even more at that and then he was waving goodbye to his friend, turning back around and holding the door open for you so you could quickly scurry out of it.

You weren’t too sure what to do, still feeling too nervous to speak clearly so you paused and waited to see if he would say something first. He didn’t but he lifted an eyebrow and gave you an expectant look, silently telling you that you were in charge of your destination for the night.

The pressure of a decision made you sigh softly and you gave him a weird look that made him chuckle, thinking for a moment before turning on your heel and walking away. He jogged slightly to catch up with you and you walked in comfortable silence for a few moments.

“Can I ask where we are going?” He was eventually mumbling, leaning down and towards you slightly so you could hear him at his low volume. Your lip curled up at the fact he was whispering for no reason.

“You don’t trust me?” You were asking him back and your teasing attitude seemed to catch him off guard for a second, raising his hands in mock defense and cocking an eyebrow in challenge.

“I do trust you actually, weirdly.” He paused and you could feel him looking sideways at you. You ignored his gaze and kept facing forward, following the sidewalk that was cutting through the park near the river. “Considering you don’t even know my name.”

You almost replied telling him that you did know his, that you’d been repeating it in your mind since Jake had informed you of it in the store but you figured that would be too forward and instead you just hummed softly. He didn’t ask you for your name, or even offer his and for some reason you had a feeling he already knew it.

Possibly asking Jake about you, an easy answer considering your unusual attire and late night arrival, and that being the reason behind the cashiers knowing smirk when you pushed through the glass door.

“Is this what you normally do?” He was talking again after a few more minutes of silent walking and this time, it was your turn to look at him from the side of your eye. “Walk around?”

“I don’t know.” You shrugged and you felt one of the bunny ears from your hat fall off your shoulder at the movement. You weren’t sure why you didn’t give him a straight forward answer, knowing perfectly well your usual routine.

It felt strange to be accompanied by somebody even though he wasn’t talking much, you could tell he was thinking and wanting to ask you things and as much as you were intrigued by him it was slightly unsettling you to be around somebody for this long.

You spent most your days isolated, not having anybody to talk to at home considering any attempt of conversation with your father usually ended poorly anyways, eventually giving up altogether unless he was grunting something to you every morning when you wandered back into the house.

At school it was relatively the same, or most times worse. You don’t think the other students necessarily meant to complete ice you out but nobody seemed to know how to talk to you after your mom died, at first being overly compassionate and eager to empathize with you vocally and then eventually fading off into small pitiful smiles when they met your tired eyes in the hallway or eyeing you when you came into class late with messy hair.

Heeseung didn’t seem to be giving you any of these looks, he looked confused by your behavior at times but it was accompanied by small smirks or friendly chuckles.

You once again wondered why he was awake right now, why he seemed like he was used to this setting as much as you and not like he was forcing himself to stay up for the sake of making a new friend. You were curious what he was thinking about and what lead him to ask you to hang out in the first place.

“Have you been to the coffee shop on 44th?” He was suddenly asking and breaking you from your train of thought, his voice still in a low whisper.

“Why are you being quiet?” You ignored his question and raised an eyebrow in his direction, tugging on your sleeve and watching the way he faltered slightly.

“Guess I’m not used to talking to somebody this late.” He was shrugging now and he almost looked embarrassed at your question, making you feel slightly guilty for making him uncomfortable.

It wasn’t that late yet, people were still wandering around from bars and late night dinners and you could hear the squeal of the bus brakes still running. The city was rarely ever dark, even in the parks near the bridge but the mood changed sometime around 4am and you felt like the trees were sleeping. Everything was still awake now however and Heeseung whispering was driving you a bit crazy.

“What about Jake?” You were asking him more now, trying to make conversation so he knew you didn’t mean any harm from your comment.

“Jake’s a freak of nature.” He was relaxing again at the mention of his friend, a smile naturally slipping back onto his face at the familiar topic. “You know he works this shift and still goes to school? He even plays football at Hope.”

The mention of your schools college made you freeze for a second, faltering in your step and causing him to look back at you with concern, turning his body so he could face you now that you were lagging behind him. He raised an eyebrow at you and you gave him a confused look.

“You guys go to Hope?” You were saying it slowly so he heard you clearly and his head cocked like a confused dog.

“I don’t, Jake is older than us.” His use of the word threw you off completely and he must’ve noticed because he let out an awkward laugh at your reaction, scratching his neck in embarrassment. “We’re in the same grade.”

“We like… as in me and you?” You rushed out and he nodded his head, hands coming up in panic when you let out a low groan of guilt.

“It’s okay, don’t worry! I didn’t recognize you at first either, it’s a big class.” He was rambling to try and make you feel better about the fact you didn’t even realize he was your classmate, his comfortable behavior suddenly making more sense. You’d definitely never spoken to him but the fact he’d seen you around such a familiar place would make more sense towards why he was so willingly to walk around with you in the middle of the night.

“I’ve been there since Kindergarten.” You blurted out with wide eyes, exclaiming loudly in pure shock that you’d been so oblivious.

“Me too..” He was awkwardly offering with a wince like he knew it would just make the situation worse that’d you’d been classmates for over a decade.

You raised your sweater covered hands up to your face and groaned loudly, pulling your bunny ears in front of your eyes so you didn’t have to look at his sheepish expression anymore. You could hear him laughing softly at how dramatic you were being and you moved one ear to the side to send him a half glare.

“It’s really okay.” He was laughing out and you could see his soft smile from your one uncovered eye, watching him with a flushed face and growing embarrassment the more amused he became. “It’s not like you’re there much anyways.”

He was saying it casually, like he hadn’t even thought about it before it came out of his mouth but you both froze up at the same time at his accidental admission. You slowly moved your ears to the side and raised an eyebrow at him, leaning your upper half forward slightly and trying not to smile at the fact he was now the one flushing in embarrassment.

“So you notice me?” You were dragging out the words and your lip curled up in amusement, racking through your mind for times you’d seen the tall boy and coming up blank. In your defense, your entire school catalogue section of your brain was completely empty and that included cute boys with giant backpacks.

“I mean… well it’s just like… it’s not like I was stalking you or anything.” He was rambling on and moving his hands around a lot like he was really trying to prove his point, going back to awkwardly scratching at his neck when you gave him a disbelieving look.

“Heeseung.” You cut him off and he paused for a second in surprise, making you realize you’d just said his name without ever asking him for it.

He seemed to relax at that, knowing you also knew more about him than you were previously letting on and his shoulders lowered now that he was less tensed. He looked like he wanted to speak again but you felt embarrassed suddenly and took a few steps forward slowly, waiting for him to get the memo that you wanted to continue on your walk.

The two of you fell back into another spout of silence, awkward at first and then more comfortable as you got deeper into the city. It was more relaxed accompanied by the sounds of people laughing and cars honking their horns, kitchen staff wishing each other goodnight as they left different restaurants and swapped signs over to closed.

You were glancing over at Heeseung after a while and you studied him for a moment while he wasn’t paying attention, his big eyes looking around the city with the same expression you assumed you often had. No matter how many times you came down here, you always felt the exact same.

You always had this longing to capture the moment in some sort of way, giving up on photographs and videos quickly into your new habit considering they simply never were able to fully express how it felt. You tried writing about it, talking about the city always felt awake and how it unsettled you in a way that felt like a friendly challenge and not like your world flipping upside down.

“Where do you go?” You were asking him before you even realized it, watching his side profile as his big eyes opened wide for a second at the sudden sound of your voice and then darted right to look at you.

He seemed to think for a second and then he answered slowly. “I don’t know actually. Just here I guess, I just like to be here I think.”

The two of you watched each other for a few beats, holding the others gaze and you liked the way the neon signs behind you were reflecting off his round dark eyes. It was like a little piece of the city was frozen inside them and you almost said that to him before swallowing it, realizing how creepy it would sound out loud.

You didn’t say much else for the rest of the night, wandering around a bit more before eventually settling at one of the small parks near the center of the main area of downtown. You sat in silence like that, you pulling out your notebook that had few words and many sketches and Heeseung playing with the strings of his headphones as he listened to music.

You could faintly hear it coming from them, loud enough to reach you a few feet away and you considered telling him he was able to play it out loud if he wanted to but for some reason you felt like it was private, leaving him to listen by himself.

When the night was slowly changing into that familiar blue color, the stage right in the center of night and day when everything is coated in the indigo filter, you were standing up off the ground and dusting off your pants. Heeseung was looking up at you due to your sudden movement and you stood over him, offering him a hand so you could pull him up.

It was mainly his own strength put into moving his weight forward considering he was a lot taller than you and you were quite weak due to your lack of sleep, but he seemed to appreciate the friendly gesture and gave you a small smile after he was back on his feet.

“What bus do you take?” He was asking you on your way back to the 7/11 and you felt him looking at the side of your face.

“15.” You answered slowly, your voice softer now as the exhaustion started to seep in. You were suddenly grateful it was a weekend, the social interaction leaving you more tired than normal and hopefully giving you the opportunity to sleep an hour or two. “You?”

“Same, but Jake is bringing me home with him today.” He was mumbling and nodded your head, picking at the skin around your nails and feeling more guilt at the fact you’d never seen him on the bus before either. “Did you want a ride home?”

His question was surprising you and your eyes widened, looking at him and seeing the concern pass over his face at your sudden change of demeanor. You were shaking your head quickly, ears swooshing around your head and you raised a hand to shake it, really emphasizing your denial.

You couldn’t imagine your fathers reaction to you being brought home by a car, especially one that contained two teenage boys in the front seat. It already took him long enough to stop punishing you for leaving at night, eventually giving up on denying you your freedom once you started to pace around the house all night instead.

“Alright, no problem.” He said quickly and you were glad he didn’t push the topic although you could tell he wanted to, a curious look on his features. Heeseung seemed to have a habit of clearly showcasing his emotions and you were grateful considering it made him easier to understand but frustrated when it was a look of pity or sympathy on his face.

You didn’t say anything when he continued to walk with you past the convenience store, walking side by side on the sidewalks even as they thinned out as you slightly left the city area.

He still didn’t speak again even when you both stood together and waited for the bus to arrive, him leaning against the plastic material covering the stops bench and you standing outside of it so the driver didn’t just blow right past you, not expecting somebody out this late.

It was you that finally turned towards him once you caught sight of the bus approaching, tugging on one of your ears awkwardly and shuffling your feet while you waited for it to get closer. You could hear it squealing to a stop, the doors creaking open while he looked at you with a raised eyebrow.

“I’m…” His stare was throwing you off and you started to falter in your words while nervously looking behind you towards the driver who was waiting. “I’ll be here tomorrow around the same time so… if you wanted to.. or if like..”

You trailed off with a sigh but he seemed to get the general idea, a small smile on his face as he dipped his head down slightly in a conforming nod, relief washing over you at the fact he hadn’t found your indirect invitation weird or out of place. You raised your hand in a wave goodbye and he returned, watching you as you pulled your headphones over your hat and ears and boarded the bus swiftly, softly thanking the driver for waiting and finding a seat towards the back.

You could see him outside the window as you pulled off, still leaning against the booth and watching the bus as it left until it rounded the corner. You flushed at the fact he had walked you to your stop despite needing to return back to the city area to get a ride from Jake, not even hesitating when you passed by the store earlier.

It was exciting to be interested in somebody or even something at all, rarely feeling too extreme of emotions considering how dull and hazy everything became with your repeated exhausted routine. Not even your father, sprawled on the couch and surrounded by empty beer cans, could damper your mood as you entered your small house.

It took you a long time, hours staring at your ceiling with a half wandering mind but you eventually managed to get a little bit of sleep, thoughts of Heeseung and his wired headphones accompanying you.

——

The routine continued like this for awhile and you slowly got accustomed to it, now expecting to see him every time you boarded the bus and he was already there waiting for you with his large backpack saving you the seat beside him.

Sometimes you didn’t talk, walking in silence for hours or finding a nice place to sit and do your own individual activities side by side. Other nights you struck up small conversation, talking about the city and your favorite places to go and every once in a while delving into deeper categories that slowly chipped away at the uncomfortable feeling that always came along with attempting to trust somebody.

Heeseung was nice to you and you liked that about him as selfish as it sounded. He never expected you to answer his questions and he rarely pried, around the second day he had even started to pull out snacks from his backpack and hand them over to you after he opened them.

It was a bit into meeting now and he was walking you back to the bus stop, large hands tightly holding onto the straps of his backpack like they always were. He had lots of little habits like that and you carefully filed them all away in your memory. Sometimes he boarded the bus with you but others he just walked with you down there before leaning against the booth and waiting for you to round the corner.

Sometimes you wanted to ask him where he lived, he had to be further away from the city than you considering he was always on the bus before you at the start of the night but that would put him at even more of a distance from your school than you were already at.

Speaking of school, you’d yet to see him around the building and you surprised yourself by actually keeping an eye out throughout the day. You were scanning your tired eyes around the cafeteria and turning your dizzy head in classrooms to see if he was present but you’d not caught sight of him yet and you felt weird about asking where he was.

Maybe he didn’t want to be friends outside of the few hours of the night you spent together, time almost nonexistent here. You felt like the world was frozen most nights you spent with him around the city and you figured he must prefer that aspect versus actually interacting with you in the daytime where other people could see.

You were too distracted in your thoughts that you didn’t even realize your brain was auto-piloting and boarding onto the bus before you even checked if he was coming along, going to turn around to see and completely missing the first large step off the ground. You fell forward and you imagined your side would’ve painfully landed directed on the jagged edges of the steps but you didn’t get a chance to find out, suspending in mid air considering Heeseung had jolted forward to grab onto you.

You could feel his hand wrapped around your side, the other placed in the middle of your shoulder blades so he could support your weight without falling forward himself. Your eyes were wide from almost hurting yourself and you flushed bright red at the concerned look on his face, helping you back to a standing position but keeping his hand on your waist even after you were fully stable.

The bus driver was clearing his throat and Heeseung glanced behind him awkwardly like he was originally not meant to get on the bus, but he turned back towards you and took a step onto the same one you were standing on.

It didn’t pass by you that this was the closest you’d ever been to him, normally keeping a few feet between you when you found a place to sit for the night and rarely ever being close enough to bump shoulders while walking side by side. Now, since he was stood on the same small step as you, you were practically pushed up against him while his hand was still gently against your side despite not having a reason to hold onto you anymore.

He was leaning forward, his chest pressing against you more and you awkwardly looked down at his feet instead of focusing on how tall he was at this distance, and you vaguely registered the fact he was paying for both of your bus tickets.

He seemed to catch on to the fact you were out of it a bit and losing focus, his hand pushing into your side slightly to let you know it was time to fully enter the bus and find your seats. You expected him to let you go once you entered the thin aisle but he didn’t and even when he was stood behind you walking towards the back, he kept his hand around your waist like he was guiding you.

It was removed once you took your seats and you found yourself still able to feel it for some reason, the feeling burned into your mind as he awkwardly cleared his throat and scratched at the back of his neck again.

You glanced over at him and his nervous demeanor, his hands fidgeting with his ripped pants now like he was also still reeling from the feeling of touching you so randomly. His hair was messy like normal but it was getting longer now, falling forward into his eyes so you couldn’t quite see what his expression was. You watched him as he put his headphones in but you leaned forward slightly to confirm that he wasn’t actually playing any music.

“Did you have somewhere to be?” You were asking him softly and then repeating it louder when you realized his headphones might block out some of your volume.

He looked at you with a raised eyebrow and took the one closest to you out of his ear, wrapping it around the outside instead and thinking for a second before he gave you an answer.

“Not necessarily.” He was mumbling back but sighing softly when you gave him a disbelieving look. “Okay well kind of but I want to get you home first.”

“I barely tripped.” You were rolling your eyes at him being overly concerned but the flush in your face gave you away and he laughed softly.

“Maybe I just wanted to hang out with you a little bit longer.” He was shrugging and turning his head to look at you better, smiling more at the way you squeezed your shoulders together and awkwardly glared forward at the floor.

“We could always hang out in school.” You were offering after a few beats of silence and you immediately regretted it, not sure how it even managed to escape your lips considering you’d already told yourself you weren’t going to question him.

His initial reaction didn’t give anything away to you, face remaining blank like he hadn’t put much thought into it but you noticed his hands starting to pick at the tape wrapped around his headphone wire and you felt guilty for bringing it up. You were about to back track and tell him to forget about it or change the subject but he was humming softly.

“I think that’d be nice.” He was saying it casually but there was a nervous edge to his voice and your mouth was downturned slightly. “Where do you eat lunch at?”

“Near the side doors.” You were answering smoothly although you left out the fact you more so used the free half an hour for a quick nap instead of actually eating. “You?”

“The library.” He was saying it hesitantly like he wasn’t sure if he should lie or not, knowing full well there was a no eating policy in that section of the school and you’d realize he wasn’t actually eating at lunch either. You both paused for a second in heavy silence before you were snorting a laugh.

“So you’re a loser basically?” Your comment was teasing and he visibly relaxed at your reaction, chuckling softly and nudging you with his thin shoulder.

“Sorry to disappoint Ms. Popular.” He was retorting back and you were glad to see the small smile return to his face and stay there now that you’ve both established this change in routine.

You wondered if he’d been thinking about it too, keeping an eye out for you or if he was actively avoiding you throughout the hallways like you’d previously thought. Maybe he figured the same as you, that you wouldn’t want to be suddenly seen with him or you wouldn’t acknowledge him and it would ruin the friendship you were slowly building.

When you got off the bus it was nice to see him still there, trying not to wince at how close the stop was to your house and how if it didn’t pull off immediately he’d see you walk up to the overgrown grass with windows titled off their hinges.

You tried not to think about it and after you gave him a small wave through the window you turned on your heel and kept your face forward, steely in your resolve to not spare him another nervous glance. This time you father didn’t seem to be home and you were grateful for that considering you had a feeling you were absolutely radiating with how much you were thinking about the boy.

It was hard to go to sleep, even more so than normal, with the ghost of his hand pressed again you and the knowledge that tomorrow you now knew where to find him. It was up to the two of you to decide if you used this information or ignored it and you weren’t sure which route he was hoping you’d take.

——

“I thought you’d forgotten about me for a second there.” Heeseung’s low voice was hitting your ears the second you crossed into the library and you let out a sigh of relief upon seeing him.

You were worried for the first half of the day that it would be awkward, that you wouldn’t know what to say to each other and it would ruin everything you’d be enjoying so much, but you knew from the second he spoke that you’d made the right choice in coming to find him.

“I was about to give up.” You scowled at him and placed your bag down on the back of the chair, climbing up and sitting across from him at the high top round table in the back of the library. “You’re hard to track down.. plus the librarian kept glaring at me every time I passed her desk like I was trying to steal her books.”

“She’s probably just used to only seeing me.” He was explaining with a small smirk at your complaining and you frowned at him softly while taking a second to take him in.

You weren’t sure why you expected him to look different during the day time, feeling a bit stupid now that you looked at him and he looked exactly the same. Almost exactly, outside of how much more exhausted he looked now that he was running on even less sleep, his hair was messier than it was around 2am and he was nervously looking around.

Heeseung was always handsome to you, despite the fact you tried to pretend you didn’t think so the first few times you hung out, but you noticed things about him under the school lights that you had missed outside in the near dark.

For one, he had his eyebrow pierced. You’re not exactly sure how you managed to not notice that considering you were currently frozen to your seat as you saw it gleaming against the light when he turned his head to look at you in confusion.

He looked embarrassed at the fact you were staring at him so intensely and he brought a hand up to mess with his bangs, the face jewelry disappearing back behind his hair and showcasing why you failed to see it before. His hand had bandaids on a few of his fingers and you almost asked him about them until he tucked them back into his hoodie sleeves.

“You don’t eat?” He was clearing his throat and asking you in a low tone, leaning forward slightly to ensure that you could hear him.

You were shaking your head softly and then shrugging, almost becoming awkward enough to regret coming. “Foods no good here anyway.”

He watched you for a few seconds and you were curious what he was thinking, if he was making similar observations as you. You were suddenly reminded you couldn’t wear your bunny hat to school and it might be the first time he’s seen you without it, seen how dark your under eyes are and how dry and chapped your lips become this time of year.

You didn’t like that you thought about this, didn’t like that you cared about what he was thinking about your appearance.

“We could go get some food after school.” He was suggesting it with a shrug but his eyes were watching you intensely with a hint of hesitance, almost like he was expecting you to say no.

You felt like your breath caught for a few seconds, holding tightly in your chest and you hoped your eyes didn’t widen too much at his suggestion. He was still watching you but his eyes softened slightly at your surprised expression, amused that you seemed just as nervous as he was about this change of pacing.

“Are you paying?” You were eventually wheezing out after a few seconds, letting the words tumble out at the same time your big gulp of air did.

His smile was familiar, the same one he gave you when he caught you staring at him in the park for a sketch reference, the same one he would offer everytime you’d skip onto the bus and grin once you caught sight of him saving your seat. You thought it looked even better in the sunlight.

——

You tried not to think about how weird it was that you and Heeseung left school together, side by side and bumping into each other while navigating the hoard of students all trying to squeeze out of the doors to escape the building.

You wondered if anybody else thought it was weird, if anyone paid enough attention to you in recent years to wonder who the tall boy next to you was. The boy who was currently snaking a hand down to your side like he had at the bus, gently guiding you through a gap in the crowd so you could get outside faster than it would be to stand and wait.

Your face was flushing bright red but he luckily seemed to focused on getting out of the mass of people to realize, eyebrows furrowed in a stressed out expression.

He didn’t remove his hand even after you’d gotten out of the tight pile of bodies, keeping it there comfortably but you knew by the heavy silence that you both were aware it wasn’t anything normal for him to do. You almost couldn’t tell, almost convinced yourself this was his typical behavior and you’d somehow just not realized it, but when you caught his eye and he quickly looked away with a small pink to his cheeks you knew it wasn’t.

Little things were different during daytime hours but not enough to make your head completely spin, giving you that familiar overwhelmed feeling that left you taking deep breaths in the bathroom stall.

The bus was actually full of people for once, only one seat left in the middle of the aisle and Heeseung hurriedly sat you down on it before it was taken. He was standing above you holding onto the pole near the top of the ceiling and you would’ve felt bad he had to do that so you could sit if it wasn’t for the small glances and grins he was sending down your way every time he caught you staring.

When you reached further into the city, somewhere you didn’t fully recognize but he must’ve considering the was leaning forward towards you and tugging on the stop rope, you both thanked the driver and left the bus.

You tried not to be disappointed when he didn’t hold onto you again, silently cursing yourself for feeling that way anyways and pushing it down. You took your backpack off your shoulders as you walked and held it in front of you, fishing for something inside with an annoyed sigh after a few seconds passed without feeling it.

Eventually the familiar fabric was grazing your fingers and you smiled softly as you pulled out your hat and situated it over your head again, pulling a few pieces of hair out in the front and glancing over at Heeseung who had been watching you.

“Woah Y/N, when’d you get here?” He was mock gasping, a hand coming up to cover his mouth and stumble back on the sidewalk like you had surprised him.

You grumbled at his antics and elbowed him in the side, trying to pretend your heart didn’t pick up in pace when he laughed loudly at your reaction and grabbed onto your jacket so he didn’t go tumbling into the street from your small shove. He didn’t let go for a few seconds even after he was steadied, rubbing the materiel between his fingers before dropping it.

You wondered if he was always this touchy with people or if he had just grown comfortable with you fast considering the strange and slightly intimidate circumstances you’d been hanging out under.

He was walking side by side with you but you were following his lead, still not exactly sure where he was bringing you to. You fell back into a comfortable silence like you always did as you traversed the city and you felt a little bit dizzy due to exhaustion and the bright glare of the sun.

It only worsened when you were rounding a corner, passing by a large building that was originally blocking your view of the next street over, and you caught sight of a familiar back that caused you to freeze in your tracks.

Heeseung took a few steps forward before realizing you weren’t continuing and he turned back to look at you with a concerned expression, approaching you again and standing in front of you. His large frame was blocking your view now but you slowly leaned over to look past him and immediately shot back to hide behind his chest and wince.

“What’s wrong?” He was rushing out and his eyebrows were furrowed with worry, a hand coming up but stopping just short of your arm like he wasn’t sure he was supposed to touch you.

“I-I have to go.” You were rushing out and you felt embarrassed underneath your panic, hands shaking slightly and you swallowed harshly.

He was frowning and turning his body to look behind him and try to see whatever had spooked you, immediately whipping back around due to the fact him moving had allowed you to see the man again, this time facing your direction with a suspicious look on his face. You imagined it was due to the fact Heeseung was just standing in the middle of the sidewalk but your heart started to race so hard it was painful at the chance he had seen you.

“Who is that?” Heeseung was, thankfully, getting the idea slowly and lowering his face as he spoke to you. You didn’t answer immediately and he was bending down so he was closer to your face, his hand finally connecting to your arm and cupping the back of your elbow. “Y/N, who is that?”

“It’s my dad.” You whispered back in a harsh tone and you’re not sure why you said it, never talking about family or each others parents before and never planning to.

Heeseung paused for a second and then his eyes were darkening like he had figured something else out, you felt humiliated knowing he must be piecing together every strange reaction you’ve ever had to the suggestion of being brought home by Jake or for him to walk you to your door.

He was glancing behind him again and a small noise of protest slipped out of your mouth, your hands coming up to land on his chest and scrunch his hoodies fabric up in your hands. He was looking back at you quickly and his eyes softened at the scared expression on your face but could still see anger swimming in his.

You weren’t sure if Heeseung was a violent person, thinking there was no way it was possible for the boy who was as sweet to you as he was unprompted, to ever willingly harm somebody but you’d also never given him any reason to be mean or treat you poorly. You thought about his bandaged hands for a second and then immediately felt guilty for doing so.

“Let me take you home.” He was saying after a few seconds and you shook your head, too overwhelmed to think clearly for a second. “Baby, let me take you home.”

The pet name snapped you out of it and you looked up at him, feeling more and more humiliated by the second at the fact your eyes were watering and you were still anxiously bunching his hoodie in your hands.

“T-the bus is too slow, he’s just now leaving the liquor store but he has a car and by the time we walk back and get on and it makes all the stops it’ll be too late and-“ You were speaking a mile a minute and you felt his hand squeeze your arm before he cut you off.

“I’m parked around the corner.” He rushed out in an attempt to stop you so you could take a breath, freezing and furrowing your eyebrows in confusion when you registered what he was saying. He winced slightly at your reaction and a weird feeling passed through your chest. You were raising your hands off of his chest before slamming them back down against him in annoyance, ignoring the small pained sound he made.

“You idiot.” You spat out at him in a harsh whisper, shaking your head and glaring up at his guilty face. “You’ve had a car this entire time?”

He looked sheepish and you suddenly felt very stupid for somehow missing this, and then slightly flattered and embarrassed that he had been riding the bus with you every single day despite being parked in the opposite direction. It made sense now to you why he was sometimes hesitant to board, unlocking the knowledge that he had been riding it all the way back alone after you’d gotten off.

“Not the entire time.” He was trying to explain himself but you could tell he was lying slightly. “It was in the shop the first time we met, that’s why Jake drove me home.”

You sighed and glared at him again but you weren’t actually mad, just slightly upset that he had been inconveniencing himself this much for some reason you didn’t quite understand.

“I just wanted an excuse to spend more time with you.” He was offering an explanation before you even had a chance to ask him and your expression softened at the reasoning, hands flatting out against him in a silent apology for hitting him.

“You’re still an idiot.” You were mumbling but your voice held no malice and he smiled at the fact he was clearly forgiven. Things felt tensioned again now that the conversation died down and you were both suddenly reminded of the fact you were touching each other and standing nearly toe to toe. “I really do have to go.”

“And I really will take you.” He was whispering back with a stressed sincerity and you frowned from the guilt of both making him drive you and not eating together like you had planned.

Heeseung was guiding you back around the buildings corner slowly, backing you up and shuffling forward with you so you didn’t need to step out from behind his chest and risk being seen. You were pouting as you awkwardly walked backwards and it remained on your face even when you were able to face forward like normal and follow him to where he had parked his car.

His car looked pretty much exactly how you figured it would, low to the ground and chipping paint in different sections of it but it was very him and you laughed softly when you remembered how ridiculous it was that he’d had one this entire time.

He seemed embarrassed when you got into the passenger seat, looking into the backseat to check if it was messy and rearranging the different CD’s that were sitting on top of his center console. You moved them over to your lap and started to mess with them while he pulled off the curb.

“Basement, Title Fight,” You were humming softly while flipping through them and reading out the artist titles, ignoring the way he was sending you nervous side glances between looking at the road. “Elliot Smith.. is this what you’re always playing in your headphones?”

“Too cliche?” He was retorting back and you scrunched your nose when you looked up at his side profile, a small smirk playing on his lips at your amusement.

“The fact you even keep CD’s still is kind of cliche.” You were throwing back to him and he glanced at you to smile fully and shake his head, watching the way you were leaned against his car door and casually looking through his stuff for a second before going back to focusing on the road.

“You still like me even though I listen to scratched CD’s and drive a 2002 shit bucket?” He was responding and you both paused.

His wording didn’t miss you but you weren’t sure if it was intentional or not, also unable to tell if he was speaking in a platonic way or if he was genuinely asking you if you liked him romantically. His mouth was parting like he was trying to think of a way to backtrack and you cleared your throat before he could, leaning forward to push a CD into the radios slot.

He didn’t say anything for a few seconds and you let the song play for a beat or two before you were leaning back into his torn leather seats and glancing at him again.

“Yeah.. I still like you.” Your voice was lower than it was before, barely filtering over the sound of the music building up but you knew he managed to catch it considering the way he was biting the inside of his cheek and avoiding looking in your direction for the rest of the ride.

He didn’t need to ask you for the way to your neighborhood considering he’s been riding past it 4 times a day but he glanced at you for help when you entered the street and you leaned forward to point towards your house. Your dads car wasn’t in the driveway and you breathed a sigh of relief when he pulled up near the curb.

You didn’t think too much about the state of disarray your home was in this time, for some reason not minding if he saw how messed up things were for you. The feeling had settled into your stomach that he wouldn’t care, that he wasn’t going to give you a sorry look or treat you differently.

He was surprising you by opening his door before you’d gotten out and you watched him round the hood with confusion, flushing when he came over to your side to open yours for you and hold it while you scrambled out. You leaned against the door once he had closed it behind you and he stood in front of you like he had on the sidewalk, his dirty sneakers pressing against the toe of yours.

“So…” You were dragging out the word and trailing off nervously, looking up at him through your eyelashes and thinking about how cute he looked peering down at you.

“So.” His lips were curling up in a smirk at your lack of words and you frowned at the expression, reaching up to pinch at his arm and keep it there when he let out a low chuckle. His hand was coming up to touch your bunny hat and you laughed softly at the way he pushed it behind your shoulder, almost like it was a piece of your hair.

“We shouldn’t be talking here.” You told him in a low voice, not wanting to speak any louder considering how close his face was getting to yours. “My dad would kill me if he saw you.”

“Right.” He was nodding but he wasn’t taking a step back or making any move that indicated he was going to leave, just watching you and you could feel his arm tense underneath your touch. “Do you want me to go?”

You were shaking your head swiftly although you knew he needed to, you liked his company and you found yourself missing him every time you were away for too long. You somehow managed to have fun today despite the fact you’d almost had a panic attack upon seeing your dad and how awkward it had felt to search for him in the school.

“I should go.” He was sighing even though you had said you didn’t want him to, thinking logically despite obviously also not wanting to leave. He was leaning forward again and for a second you could feel his chest pushed up against yours before he swayed back like he hadn’t done it.

Your heart felt heavy at the fact he was going to leave you there, in such a rotten place that left you restless and miserable, but you were slightly humiliated by the large frown on your face. Before you could think about it, in an attempt to hide your expression, you were pulling him forward by his hoodie sleeve and wrapping your arms around him in a tight hug.

He hesitated for a few seconds, just from the surprise of the contact, and then he was slowly wrapping his long arms completely around you and keeping you pulled tightly to his chest. You could feel him take a deep breath, surrounded by his warmth and burying your face into the soft fabric of his oversized hoodie, listening to his heart beat increase slightly when you squeezed him for a second.

You were pulling back after a few seconds, leaning into the car again and you knew your face must’ve been flushed red with a dazed look in your eyes considering the way he faltered and smiled sheepishly at you.

“Well.. I have to go.” You were rushing out to him and he nodded, taking a step back so you were able to walk away without having to push past his large frame.

“I’ll see you tomorrow.” His voice was lower than normal and carrying a slight rasp that made something flip around in your gut, trying not to look at him as you quickly waved and scurried away up your front path and into the doorway.

You stood there, back pressed against your front door now that it was closed, and took deep breaths to try and calm yourself down as you listened to his car pull off. A smile was building itself up on your face despite being slightly embarrassed over your bold move and you felt like a cloud of giddiness was following you around.

“So that’s what you sneak off to do every night?” Your entire body froze up in shock and you immediately stopped in place, bones going rigid and blood running cold at the sound of your fathers slurred voice coming from the living room.

Any sense or happiness or calm Heeseung had brought you was immediately disappearing and replaced with terror at the realization he was home, and had clearly seen you through the window before you came inside. You were stuck in silence and you could feel the dark tension radiating off of him although you couldn’t even see him yet.

“You’re out there embarrassing me, making a mess of our name.” He was hissing and you watched him rise from his arm chair and come out of the shadows like a fairytale monster, cowering in on yourself like you were a little girl again. “Whoring around with that delinquent.”

“N-no dad, I promise it isn’t like that I just-“ He was cutting you and your stutters off, slamming his hand down against the wall near your head and you closed your eyes in a wince, listening to the way the framed photos rattled on the wall.

A few seconds passed and you were holding your breath, waiting for him to continue to insult you and tell you what you had done wrong but when the tension continued to grow you realized he was more angry than you thought. You felt your hands hit the floor before you felt the pain in your cheek, not even realizing he had hit you for a few seconds because of the shock.

He’d hit you before but it was rare in recent years, not wanting to risk you showing up to school with a black eye or bruised cheek.

Your hand was coming up to cup the side of your face, shaking against your skin and feeling how hot and swollen it already was from his large calloused palm. You didn’t want to look at him and see his sneering face, instead staring forward at the way your bunny hat had flown off on impact and landed a few feet away on the floor.

“No more going out at night.” He was spitting the words down at you, curled into a ball against the wall on the floor and willingly away the pain under your palm. “I’ll put a padlock on your door if I have to.”

With that, he was staggering back into the darkness of the living room and you could hear the groan of the armchair under his weight. You sat there for a few more seconds, frozen and making sure it was clear for you to move before you were scurrying up the stairs and grabbing your hat as you passed by.

When you got to your room you threw it into the corner and collapsed onto your bed in a fit of sobs, burying your face deep into your pillow and crying so hard you thought you might just explode.

You felt even worse for the reason you were crying, not because you’d gotten caught or punished and not because your father was upset with you. You cried over the fear of not being able to see Heeseung anymore, the idea of never being able to safely return to the city at night causing you such distress you continued to sob until your throat was sore and your chest ached.

The sun was setting eventually and your room was darkening, never having the light switch turned on and just letting the night take over every single day, but you failed to notice considering how burrowed under the covers in your own misery you were.

You didn’t mean to care about somebody this deeply, having sworn against it after your mother passed and you were left with a shell of a man, your father becoming half the person he was with grief and never bothering to heal himself for your sake. You’d spent recent years tiptoeing around the house and trying to show as little evidence as possible that you existed, part of the reason he didn’t fully mind you disappearing at night or sleeping all day.

You felt stupid but getting caught with Heeseung after so narrowly escaping your father in the city, completely letting your guard down and being foolish because of your feelings.

But the other part of you didn’t care, you deserved to be giddy and act stupid because you liked somebody and his reaction wasn’t your fault.

Thinking of Heeseung made you remember he’d probably be waiting for you tonight and you started to cry harder again. You were worried he’d over think about your intimacy and small confession today and mistake you not showing up to the bus stop as you rejecting him, retreating back into yourself and leaving him alone like he had been before your night time meetings.

You must’ve dozed off from crying and the stress of the day, only waking up with dry skin and swollen eyes when you started to register a faint repeated noise.

You were sitting up with a puffy pout and looking around in a dazed confusion, at first because you couldn’t identify it and then even more so because you realized it was coming from your window. You staggered out of bed to open it and stop the noise and you let out a gasp, ducking and just barely missing being hit by a small stone that flew into your room.

“Fuck.” A voice down below was whispering and you glanced down to see Heeseung stood at the side of your house with his hoodie pulled up over his head. “Did I hit you? I’m sorry.”

You felt panic grow in your chest at the sight of him although you were happy to see that you had a chance to explain what had happened, glancing behind you in fear before turning again to glare at him from the second floor.

“You can’t be here.” You hissed out and he gave you a guilty look, like he knew you were going to say that but couldn’t help himself anyways. You let out a small sigh and you eyes softened at his expression. “I told you he was going to kill me.”

You didn’t need to say it for him to understand that your dad must’ve been home and you saw his face darken again like it had earlier, feeling thankful that you were too high up and it was too dark for him to see the bruise that must have been forming on your face now.

“Is he awake?” He was whispering back after a few seconds and you paused at his unexpected question.

He didn’t say anything when you held up a finger to indicate you’d be back, tiptoeing back to the other side of your room and cracking open the door. You held your breath so you could hear every noise clearly and you waited until the sound of his snores filtered up the stairs to you, confirming he had drank himself unconscious again and was out for the night. You still didn’t want to risk sneaking out and having him wake up and you walked back to your window with a heavy heart.

“He’s out but-“ You were starting to explain you couldn’t come along when Heeseung was nodding and walking towards the front of your house, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion as you called his name softly. He turned back to look at you and you raised your hands in bewilderment. “What are you doing?”

“Let me in.” He whisper yelled back and gave you a look like it was an obvious thing for you to do, smiling slightly when your astonished face only deepened.

You were groaning when he disappeared around the side of the house and you left your room before you had a chance to think about it more, sneaking down the stairs as silently as possibly and trying not to let out a breath when you passed by the entrance to the living room.

It was strange to see Heeseung on your porch when you cracked open the front door, even stranger when he took a step inside your hallway and you took him in against the familiar setting. You hadn’t had somebody inside your house in years and you were thankful that he kept his gaze tightly on you and didn’t look around at the mess.

You brought a finger to your lips and indicated towards the living room where your dad was, a loud snore coming from him at that exact moment and causing you to jump where you stood. Heeseung was bringing a hand up to your arm in an attempt to calm you and he nodded in understanding that he needed to keep quiet.

When you took a step on the first stair you winced and glanced back at him, knowing his weight and tall frame would make it groan louder than normal.

Still, you took his hand in yours and let it hang behind you as you gently led him up the old wood and into the hallway that would lead to your bedroom. He still didn’t speak once you entered it and for a second you were worried he would ask you to turn the lights on, thankful when he finally took a deep breath and glanced around at your belongings.

“So this is where she returns to.” He was muttering under his breath and you felt a little embarrassed as he took in your room.

Not as embarrassed as you felt when he was looking back at you intensely, you figured he could see you better now that you were closer and illuminated by the moonlight shining in from your window but you knew you were correct when his eyes were hardening again suddenly. You winced slightly when his hands were coming up to cup your face, the right one just hovering and not connecting with the bruised and swollen skin.

“This was him?” He was whispering, his eyes filtering up to stare into yours and your stomach turned at how serious he sounded. You hadn’t seen him have this look in his eye before and it put you slightly on edge.

You were hesitantly nodding your head and you knew your eyes must have started watering judging by the fact his face softened and he gently caressed your uninjured cheek, shaking his head and bringing you over to sit down on your bed.

“I’m sorry.” He was whispering to you and leaning forward to connect your foreheads, watching you with a hurt look. It was reminiscent of the pitiful glance so many people have given you throughout your life but you knew it was different, he was different.

“It’s not your fault.” You were telling him and you truly meant it, your hand coming up to rest on his wrist and squeeze it softly.

“It is though. I should’ve dropped you off up the street where the bus stops, it was stupid.” He was muttering and you wanted to remind him that you’d pointed out your house and you’d been the one to tell him to stay, but you weren’t sure it was going to make much of a difference.

You thought about the fact he was inside of your house right now, only a few hours after you’d gotten punished for even being seen with him and you snorted a teary laugh at the irony of calling such a small act, such as earlier stupid.

“You make me stupid.” You were telling him and he smiled softly at your joking tone, knowing that you were completely serious.

“You scared me when you didn’t show up.” He was saying back and his tone was serious again, brushing back your hair that was normally hidden under your knitted hat. “I was about to tear the city apart looking for you before I thought about coming here first.”

You laughed slightly at the idea of somebody as kind as Heeseung raging through the city in search of you, pressing your head harder against his before leaning back a bit so you could take a deep breath and shake your head at him.

“You’re lucky I woke up before him.” Your tone was light and teasing but you both understood the heavy truth in the statement, his face dropping again.

He had failed to take you literally when you exclaimed about your father killing you but you didn’t blame him, not liking the guilt that coated his face again as he mirrored your deep breath.

“You couldn’t have known.” You were telling him in a gentle voice but he was still not looking at you, only picking up his head when your hand was brushing through his bangs. “Heeseung, it’s not your fault.”

He was nodding softly and chewing on his lip but you had a feeling he was only agreeing to make you feel better, still having that dark guilty look on his face. You sighed softly and glanced behind you at your small bed, scooting back a few inches before looking at him again.

He was giving you a soft and tired smile, clearly understanding what you were insinuating and you tried to not throw up from nerves when you were both moving around so you could lay down on your bed together. You’d been experiencing the most intimacy you’d had since you were a kid with him and your stomach was tight with anxiety.

Heeseung didn’t seem to think much of it, flopping back against your pillows and sucking in a deep relieved sigh. His one knee was bent upwards towards your ceiling and his left arm was sprawled across the rest of the bed, leaving you no choice but to lay on top of it. He was pulling you forward slightly by your shoulders so you could rest your head on his chest and you were slightly relieved to hear how fast it was beating, despite his calm demeanor.

“How’d we get here.” You were whispering after a bit of silence and you could feel his laughter before you heard it, his warm chest rumbling slightly with the sound

“I thought you looked cute standing up to two drunk assholes.” He mumbled back and you pinched his side slightly, draping your arm across his stomach. “You should’ve seen Jake’s face when I asked about you the next morning.”

“Probably the same expression he had when I ran into the store four hours early.” You felt embarrassed to be admitting it but you liked the way it made him laugh again, gently rubbing your shoulder over the shared fact you both had been interested in each other from the start.

You fell into silence again and after a moment you picked your head up again to look at him closer, still pressed against his side but rolling onto your stomach slightly so you could study his face. He was watching you with a curious expression and your hand come up to brush his bangs back, revealing his eyebrow piercing to you again.

He didn’t say anything when you pressed against it, rolling one of the balls between your fingers for a few seconds before rubbing along his eyebrow bone until you hit the bump of metal, but his eyes darkened slightly at your fascination and you faintly felt his hand slip down to your side and squeeze it.

“He called you a delinquent.” You were whispering to him with a small smirk, raising an eyebrow as you recounted what your father had said about him. “He’d probably lose his mind if he came in here right now.”

Heeseung didn’t seem to share your amusement about the subject considering how hard his face was as you talked about it, only his eyes staying soft as he looked over your features from such a close distance.

“I’d kill him.” He was mumbling back and you snickered for a second before realizing he wasn’t laughing, his face serious as he watched you for your reaction to what he was saying. You frowned slightly and laid your hands down on his chest, rubbing it for a second before shaking your head.

“Don’t say that.” You were muttering under your breath, following it with an awkward laugh at the sudden tension in the air.

“I’m serious.” He was saying back immediately and you looked back up at his eyes, frowning deeper since you knew he was telling the truth. A part of you felt strangely prideful about it, your stomach lighting up at the fact he was so protective over you and willingly to interfere if your father busted through the door.

The other part of you was slightly concerned with his sudden demeanor, only catching glimpses of it before and brushing it off considering how gentle and lighthearted he always was with you. You wondered if it was a good time to ask him about the bandages around his hands but you decided against it.

“Then what?” You surprised yourself by humoring his hypothetical situation for a second, watching the way his eyebrows jumped in surprise. “What happens after?”

“You can come with me.” He was saying it swiftly like it was something he’d considered before, eyes remaining serious despite the fact he was noticeably being more careful with his words.

You hummed softly at him, your hand moving from his chest to trail up his neck for a second before coming back to rest again. You didn’t think anything of the movement, just absentmindedly touching him and being fascinated by the feeling of somebody else’s skin other than yours, but you could tell by the way his eyes darkened that you had caught his attention.

“Would you come with me?” He was asking in a low voice, eyes tired and lazy as he peered down at you but very much focused in on your expression as he waited for your response.

You were watching him in return and you were sure he could feel your heart beating against his arm, rolling back around so you were laying on your side again and cuddled up against his side instead of laying on your stomach and directly facing him. You knew your face must’ve been flushed by now and it continued to redden as you thought of a response.

“Of course I would.” You mumbled back and it slightly scared you how much you found yourself meaning the words.

Now it was his turn to him, low and rumbling in his chest against the side of your face. You scooted closer to him instinctively and you felt his hand gently squeeze against your side when he realized you were moving again, your shirt riding up slightly as you shifted so now his skin was pressed against yours.

You were glancing up at him at the feeling of him touching you and you awkwardly looked away when you realized he was already staring, a hazy look in his dark eyes. Heeseung’s demeanor felt different tonight, or maybe it was just the intimate setting.

“C’mere.” He was rasping out the word and the syllables were slurring together, your heartbeat so heavy and loud that you almost didn’t hear him for a few seconds. You scooted up further on his chest so you could look at him, your upper half lifted slightly so your face was hovering over his and he could bring a hand up to cup your uninjured cheek again.

“We can run away together.” He was muttering now that you were close to each others faces again, his big hand nearly covering the entire side of yours and you smiled softly at his statement. He looked slightly serious still but you saw the corner of his lip quirk up and you ducked your head in embarrassment. “I’d take care of you.”

“Oh, would you now?” Your voice was teasing and you raised your eyebrows at him, biting your lip to try and stop the big smile on your face from spreading. You let your arms shift forward again to rest on his chest and you could feel his collarbones under your palm.

He was nodding but not speaking again, watching you intensely and you felt your smile drop slightly at the look on his face. You’d been with a boy before, not all the way and nothing serious but you wouldn’t consider yourself necessarily unexperienced. Still, you’d never felt so tensioned and attracted to somebody before like you did with Heeseung and he hadn’t even tried to kiss you before.

His demeanor, confident but not ever cocky and sometimes sheepish like he acted on impulse, was the most attractive part of him to you and being in such close proximity didn’t help.

“Could you take care of me now?” You weren’t sure what pushed you to whisper the words out to him, hesitant and slow but being said nonetheless and you watch his eyes flash with something unfamiliar for a moment.

Then Heeseung was leaning forward off your pillows, his hand that was cupping your face being used to bring you forward so you could meet him halfway into a slow kiss that sent a shiver down your spine. You could feel his heart beating underneath your chest as you scooted forward more to completely lay on top of him and kiss him deeper.

You were overwhelmed by how perfect it felt to be kissing him, how warm and familiar the feeling of him underneath you was and you sucked in a small breath when he pulled back for a second before surging forward again to kiss him more.

If he was surprised by this he didn’t show it, his hand pushing up more so your shirt would ride up on your stomach and he could feel more of your side under his hand. You knew he felt the shiver wrack through you, the goosebumps on your skin at the feeling of the callousness of his and he chuckled softly into the kiss that was getting heavier with every passing second.

You could feel Heeseung biting down on your lip, almost painfully, and you were reminded of that dark expression he sometimes got. He was immediately licking over the skin he had bitten, soothing it out with his tongue and you made an embarrassing noise when he was suddenly slipping it into your mouth.

“Calm down.” He was pulling back a few centimeters to whisper to you, his voice breathy and carrying a small chuckle as he teased you for your reaction.

“I can’t.” You responded honestly, shaking your head softly and leaning in again to peck his lips quickly. Kissing him was addicting and you felt like your head was spinning from the way he was gently rubbing up and down your side so slowly.

He was laughing loudly at your response and your heart clenched affectionately at the sound, immediately followed by the reminder he wasn’t supposed to be here. You glanced over at your door nervously and when you looked back at him again he was frowning and following your line of vision, seemingly also snapping back to reality.

“I should probably go.” He was muttering and your stomach dropped painfully although you knew he was right, it wasn’t smart to get in trouble more.

“I won’t be able to come out at night for awhile.” You were telling him and your voice sounded saddened and panicked, bunching up his hoodie in your fist again like you had earlier when your anxiety picked up.

“Doesn’t matter.” He was shaking his head and petting your hair softly, raising his eyebrows to really exaggerate the fact that he meant what he was saying. “Find me at school tomorrow and we can figure something out okay? He can’t stop me from seeing you.”

You watched him in silence for a few seconds before you were leaning in to kiss him harshly again, completely drinking him in and savoring the feeling of him pressed against you in case it was the last time you got to have him like this. His hands were sliding back into your hair, keeping you tight into the kiss and moving against you just as desperately.

You felt overwhelmed at his sincere words, never having somebody so adamant on being around you, being so protective over you that he was willingly to risk his own safety just to have a conversation with you.

“You’re crazy.” You were gasping out when you pulled back for air, laughing at the way he was pressing more swift kisses against your lips as you tried to talk.

“You make me crazy.” He was slightly altering and repeating the phrase you had said to him earlier, a smile coming back onto his face now that you clearly felt better about the situation.

It took you a while to get off of him, even longer for you to actually leave your room considering the way he kept shaking his hands around your waist to pull you back in to kiss again. At one point he had you pressed against your bedroom door and you tried not to think how tensioned it felt to kiss standing up like this, letting him lean you against the old wood and explore your mouth with a heavy sense of longing and desire.

You were eventually take control of the never ending situation and pushing him out of your door with a final kiss, watching him smile at you and walk slowly down your stairs. He had suggested you stay up in your room in case the door closing woke up your father and he came looking for you, better to find you upstairs versus suspiciously in the front hallway.

You followed Heeseung’s frame, craning your neck outside the window to be able to see parts of your front lawn, and watching as he tugged his hoodie back over his head and walked a few houses down to where he had parked his car.

He was looking back at your window before he got in and the two of you watched each other for a few beats before you were raising your hand in a shy wave, smiling at the way he returned it before getting inside his car and pulling off slowly.

——

You were getting stares as you rushed through the school halls, your peers not used to seeing you so alert at all throughout the day but especially so early in the morning. You’d only slept for an hour or two but you felt energized at the idea of seeing Heeseung again as you searched for him.

The search stopped short when you were suddenly smacking into somebody rounding the corner, clearly not expecting to encounter somebody moving at the speed you were.

You both flew back from the impact and you landed on your butt a bit away from the boy, glancing up swiftly to see it was somebody you recognized, a friend from middle school who had slowly stopped talking to you after your mother died.

“Shit, I’m sorry Sunoo.” You were stuttering slightly and you suddenly remembered that conversation didn’t come easily to you, forgetting this fact considering you only ever spoke to Heeseung. “I was just-“

“Looking for Lee Heeseung?” He was cutting you off and you paused in your explanation to stare at him, his tone more judging than you remember ever hearing it. “What are you doing hanging around with him Y/N?”

He was standing back to his full height and offering you a hand but after faltering for a few seconds you paused, scoffing under your breath and standing without taking it. Once you were off the ground you were glaring at him, not liking the heavy glance he was sending your way.

“What does it matter to you?” You normally wouldn’t be so confrontational but it upset you how concerned he seemed to be despite completely ditching you alongside the rest of your friend group while you were grieving.

He had no place to judge you or who you decided to hang out with, although it confused you how worried he seemed to be about Heeseung. You weren’t sure how he even knew about the boy considering you didn’t recall ever seeing him around school or your old friends before your run in at the convenience store.

“He’s dangerous Y/N.” He was spitting the words at you but you could tell you weren’t the reason for his anger, eyebrows furrowing slightly as he looked at you like he was confused if you truly didn’t understand the reason for his worry.

“What are you talking about?” You were looking at him in bewilderment and you felt your heart start to beat slightly at the fact he was clearly implying something had happened with the boy you’d spent so much time with recently. You were suddenly reminded that you didn’t know much about him, never talking about family life or what he did outside of being with you.

“Why don’t you ask him?” Sunoo was sighing and you were confused at his sudden dismissal until you realized his eyes were going past your shoulder now, turning your head and seeing the boy in question standing a few feet away and watching the two of you interact.

Heeseung didn’t look dangerous to you, especially in the way he was clutching the straps of his backpack and carrying a nervous expression. His eyes softened slightly when he saw you but he must’ve registered the worried look on your face because he was suddenly turning in place and going back down the hallway the way he came.

You sighed when he pushed out the side doors, turning back to glare at Sunoo quickly before hurriedly following after the tall boy and rushing back down past the lockers.

“Heeseung.” You were calling his name once you pushed through the double doors, the cold morning air hitting your face swiftly and you winced a bit. “Hee, stop.”

He paused at the sound of your voice and you saw him suck in a reluctant breath before he was turning around to face you. You caught up to him quickly and stopped a few inches in front of him, reaching up to grab his hoodie sleeve and trying not to be offended when he flinched away from your touch.

“What happened?” You were questioning him with slightly widened eyes, looking up at him and trying to read what his face was expressing. “Why are you running away from me?”

“What did he say to you?” His voice was hardened and he was staring daggers down at you, your face crumbling at the harsh expression that you’d never seen directed your way before.

“Nothing, he said nothing.” You were shaking your head quickly and he let out a disbelieving scoff, looking away from you and clenching his jaw in agitation. “Hee, I’m serious. He didn’t say anything, a bunch of none sense I didn’t even understand.”

He was glancing down at you again like he was trying to see if you were telling the truth or not, being met with your big wide eyes and sighing softly in guilt for being so quick to anger. His hand was coming up to touch your face and you leaned into it even though you were still feeling confused over what was happening.

You didn’t say anything when he was reaching down to grab your hand gently, leading you with him out towards the parking lot where you spotted his car parked near the back. You frowned softly behind his back but got into the passenger seat anyways and watched as he started it up but didn’t pull off.

The heat blaring created a small rattling noise and you could hear the song you’d put on before still playing faintly, flushing a bit at the realization he hadn’t changed the CD and was just letting it play on repeat.

“Are you scared of me?” He was suddenly asking and you glanced over at him from the passenger seat, seeing the way he was staring down at his hands as he picked at the skin around his fingers. His legs were spread so his knee was pressing against the middle console and you reached over to place your hand on it gently.

“Of course I’m not.” You were whispering back to him and shifting your body so you could completely face him, your eyes following along his side profile and frowning at how defeated he looked.

“Even if I told you I did something bad?” He was finally glancing at you and you felt sick at how vulnerable his eyes looked, shifting nervously over your face and you hoped your expression didn’t convey how nervous you suddenly felt. “That I hurt somebody really bad?”

You were watching him in silence and it felt like the air from the car got sucked out with his words, hinting towards something darker than you’d expected him to admit. You thought back to the expression he sometimes carried, the way he spoke about your father so casually and the worry on Sunoo’s face. You watched him while thinking of this and you thought about all the other things to.

How he was always so gentle and kind with you, warm and comforting and never doing anything to make you feel worried despite most your time with him being spent alone and late at night. You didn’t know every detail about his life but that didn’t make him seem dangerous to you, he felt familiar and safe and you instinctively squeezed his knee.

“Did they deserve it?” You were finally croaking out, settling on a response that you felt properly conveyed your stance on what he was saying.

You’d thought from the moment you met him that Heeseung was similar to you and you knew the reasons you couldn’t sleep, the demons that kept you up all night restless. You tried to imagine what his looked like and you figured if you were bigger and braver, maybe you’d tried to hurt yours back too.

He wasn’t saying anything for a few seconds, just looking at you like he hadn’t expected that response and you knew immediately it had been the right thing to say. His face was crumbling and he was biting his lip to stop it from trembling, ducking his head forward to nod as an answer to your question.

You were leaning forward over the middle console to pull him in for a hug, not caring about the way the plastic pressed into your stomach uncomfortably or the burn your arms felt from stretching so far to embrace him. He’d help you more than once, brought you back from a dangerous place and a low state of mind and your heart tugged at the sight of him showing that same vulnerability now.

“It’s not your fault.” You were whispering into his hoodie and his arms were snaking around your middle, a small surprised noise slipping from your mouth when he was tugging you over the console and situating you in his lap. He was burying his head deep into your neck and your hand was coming up to rest on the back of his head, his hoodie fabric under your palm.

You didn’t need to hear the full story, you didn’t need for him to painfully recount the details or what had happened for him to do something so drastic and you didn’t need to know who.

Him softly crying into your neck and clutching onto you like a scared child was all you needed to believe him, to understand that whatever rumor or perspective others such as Sunoo had, was wrong.

He was picking his head up to look at you and your heart broke at his red face, tears streaming down his cheeks and a frustration expression coating his features like he was mad at himself for showcasing how upset he was. He was suddenly pressed against you in a kiss and you hesitated for a second in surprise before kissing him back.

You were pushing his hoodie off his head so you could put your hands through his shaggy hair, pulling him tighter against you and feeling the way his wet face was pressing onto yours.

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

“You can’t leave me.” He was gasping into your mouth and his hands were shakily coming up to cup your face, tilting your head softly and humming into the kiss when you were licking into his mouth and leaning forward so his back was pressed against the car door.

Heeseung was moving a hand down towards your back and you could feel him continuously tugging you forward into him, your hip bone pressing against his stomach as you both found comfort in each others touch. You let him do this for a few seconds longer before you were pulling back a bit to address what he had said.

“I’m not going to leave.” You were gasping as you said it, still trying to catch your breath and he was shaking his head before tugging you forward again, a small noise slipping from your mouth at the feeling of him dragging you up further into his thigh.

“I’m serious.” He was still speaking into your mouth and you pulled back further to look at him, the dark expression back in his eyes now as he watched you. “I’d go crazy if you left.”

It slightly unsettled you how serious he sounded, how he really stressed the words like they were the most important in the world. His hands were still holding onto you tightly like he was terrified you’d slip away if he let up even a little bit and your eyes bounced around his face for a few seconds before you were nodding.

“We can be crazy together.”

LEE HEESEUNG BRROOOOOOOOOO He sso fine😭😭😭😭☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️☹️ Bare tiktoks on my fyp ITS JUST HIM. ☺️☺️☺️☺️☺️

YOOOOOOO

𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬 — 𝐬𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐢𝐞𝐬

[#𝐦𝐨𝐨𝐝𝐛𝐨𝐚𝐫𝐝𝐬] ⇉ [𝐛𝐞𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐢𝐧𝐠] want to hear what people are talking about? [#𝐟𝐢𝐜: 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐰𝐚𝐲 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐠𝐨𝐞𝐬]

𝐏𝐋𝐀𝐘𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐓(𝐬) : ▶playlist #1 made by @saraannaisabel ▶playlist #2 made by me

𝐀𝐍 | six(1,2 and 3) are all written in jaemins pov. they're flashback scenes from the entire first five parts. you're welcome to skip those and go to seven which goes back to the readers pov. (although, jaemins pov has more behind the scenes content that i haven't written abt in other parts)

[ 𝐎𝐍𝐄 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: for three months, after a hard breakup with your ex, you refuse to let another man worm his way into your life even if it was for love or pleasure to avoid that ugly feeling of heartbreak… but then you bump into jaemin 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 20.9k

[ 𝐓𝐖𝐎 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you and jaemin discuss your friends with benefits situation before things between you both start to escalate. also, your friends are crazy and they know about it. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 14.7k

[ 𝐓𝐇𝐑𝐄𝐄 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: your friends with benefits relationship with jaemin starts to get more serious when he asks to be exclusive, and just as things go a little too well, things start to get bad. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 15.9k

[ 𝐅𝐎𝐔𝐑 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you finally get jaemin to open up about his past and someone from his past ends up right in front of his doorstep 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 18.2k

[ 𝐅𝐈𝐕𝐄 ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: ever since eunbin came back into the picture, you start to truly realise where you stand and what you want from jaemin... but nothing ever really goes the way it's supposed to go 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 30.9k

[ 𝐒𝐈𝐗(𝐏𝐓.𝟏) ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you finally get inside jaemin’s mind. flashbacks in jaemin’s point of view could change everything. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 33k

[ 𝐒𝐈𝐗(𝐏𝐓.𝟐) ] ! 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: smut, angst, fluff 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: you finally get inside jaemin’s mind. flashbacks in jaemin’s point of view could change everything. 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓: 14.3k

𝐒𝐈𝐗(𝐏𝐓.𝟑) [unwritten] 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓:

𝐒𝐄𝐕𝐄𝐍 [unwritten] 𝐆𝐄𝐍𝐑𝐄: 𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: 𝐖𝐎𝐑𝐃 𝐂𝐎𝐔𝐍𝐓:

MEEEE i have a crushy crush now😂😂😂😂 its not fun i dont like it not recommended solid 3/10 3 points cuz hes bare cute knocked off 7 points bcuz ITS PAIN👹

hi guysw j wish that i had a little crushy cruhs life is so boring rn its sthe same everyday and its not fun🙁🙁🙁🙁

SAD BITCH TI BAD BITCH??? Me last year slay

AND SHE FR KEPT THEM the papers r like all yellow my auntie and uncle r so cute childhood sweethearts!!!!!

I think thay love letters are so cute😭😭 i rmbr before i left for philippines my mum and my auntie were reading the love letters that my uncle wrote for my aunite back when thwy were still lkke 12🙁🙁 it ws soospo cute we were all so kilig LOL then my mum said “u wont get to experience these things now everytjing is thru text” which is lowk true but love letters r so adorable

i am sob i cry i die

TO THE BOY : who took me to prom

PAIRING: sunghoon x fem!reader

GENRE/CW: smut, fluff, angst, best friend's brother trope, protected and unprotected sex, cunnilingus, marking, creampie, mentions of petnames (princess, kitten), lots of kissing and brief mentions of sex, mentions of jake (enhypen), yedam and yoshi (treasure), mentions of food and insecurities. let me know if i forgot something!

WC: 19.6k words

SYNOPSIS: prom—the last event of senior high school was right around the corner, but the only person who you wanted to go with had rejected you for his own reasons, leaving you upset and unwilling to attend the event. however, your best friend, mina, was hellbent on making you attend it and being a sweetheart, she ends up persuading her brother, sunghoon, to be your date for the night.

WARNING: 18+ content, minors dni

A/N: hihi, my sweetest angels<3 i'm finally here with the second installment of to all the boys series! it can be read as a stand alone but it's a follow up from the first part so it's highly encouraged you read it first! this is by far the longest fic i've written and i sincerely hope that y'all enjoy it! thank you sm for 6k+ followers :3 all likes, comments, reblogs and feedbacks are highly appreciated :D iloveyou all <3 [ masterlist ]

“You can't stay hung up on him for your whole life!”

That is exactly what you had thought initially.

Writing a letter did give you closure, not the kind you had desired to get. However, understanding your own mind was at the top of the priorities for you.

It was a good bye, the best you could muster. Yet, you broke down a myriad times while penning it down. A tear droplet falling down your cheek had kissed the paper, approving it of your sincerity.

But, your best friend refused to see you cry over a boy. Yes, he was a very pretty, the “epitome of perfection” kind of boy, that's what made it harder for you to let go.

“I know, I know,” your voice faltered with the repetition, sighing into your hands.

It hurt, yes, but she was correct. It was nine in the morning, a day after your finals had ended. Your high school life was over. Deciding to celebrate it together, you did what you had to — a sleepover at your best friend, Mina's place.

“I'm sorry, I,” she gulped, “I shouldn't have raised my voice,” she apologized, pouting. Her raised voice sounded gentle still, and you simply hugged her to silently mention that it's okay, that you're okay.

She huffed, “Listen, school is still not over, we have an extra month to get credits and of course, prom!”

“I got rejected, Mina.”

“And I'll be punching that asshole, don't you worry, sweetheart.” she finalized.

Asking someone to prom took a lot of courage. Being rejected hurt just as much. Yoshi was a pretty boy and you should've known better than to ask someone like him to prom, knowing well that he would have a date already — which he did. You nodded with an understanding smile, which he returned with one of his own, looking apologetic.

It further fuelled your desire to leave for college already, having had enough of school.

Five days of community service and you were ready to conclude your resume and send in your university applications. Hopefully, you wished to get back an acceptance letter by the time for your prom, which you had little to no zeal for.

However, your friend was overjoyed with the newfound development in her relationship status. While you spent your summer at the camp, she had lived her life to the fullest by finally making a move on her longtime crush, Yedam, who was also a close friend of you both. You remember how happy it made you when Mina hugged you, spilling the details of their journey from being friends to lovers.

He genuinely appeared to be scared when you made him sit down to give him the 'don't hurt my best friend or else I'll hurt you more' talk. Safe to say, he knows it's better to behave than face the consequences of being beat up by you and her brother, whom he found scary if you might add.

However, something about the way he got all three of you breakfast, especially getting Mina's favourite muffins alongside, told you that she was going to be more than just fine with him.

Soon enough, you found yourself sitting in the back of Yedam's four-seater car, which was awfully comfortable, with Mina riding shotgun as you three headed to the local amusement park. The experience, however, was different this time considering you felt like a child going out with their parents.

You could say you were third-wheeling but it wasn't actually the case since they both included you in everything. Plus, the rides were fun, you were having fun, albeit the constant public display of affection in front of you. Their fingers intertwined as they walked together.

You smiled slightly, not being envious, whilst you still did wonder how it would have been had you been in a position somewhat similar to theirs — a loving relationship.

Mina didn't let your thoughts consume you, “Y/n versus Yedam let's go!” she whistled in front of the claw machine, challenging you to get her the light pink teddy bear, which you did and Yedam couldn't.

This earned you a big hug from your best friend and a whine from him when you showed him your tongue. It certainly made you smile a lot more when she won a teddy herself and gifted it to you, Yedam watching the exchange fondly.

You excused yourself from them, letting them have their romance movie moment by enjoying the ferris wheel. The bench was surprisingly comfortable and the drink in your hand perfect for the parched you. The teddy comfortably sat on your lap while your eyes wandered around, you stopped to smile softly at a little girl staring, she giggled back which warmed your heart. The sky was a pretty mixture of orange, yellow and red, blending in together to say goodbye to the sun for the day.

A sigh left you, it was a good day of momentary distraction and of course, quality time with the people who care about you and vice versa. It almost made you forget about Heeseung, and the prom rejection.

Sitting at the backseat again, you were going back home with a pastel cotton candy in your hand, a content smile on your face.

“So,” your friend dragged out, “Five more days of community work.” a groan left her.

“Just five days, Mina. Besides, I'll be with you the whole time,” you extended your hand which she held with another hand on her heart.

“Not you flirting with my girlfriend again,” Yedam huffed playfully, emphasis on ‘my’.

“Oh and,” Mina continued, “Sunghoon will be picking us up tomorrow!”

“Sunghoon is back?” you asked, voice shaky but not enough for someone to notice it.

“Yes! I can't believe I forgot to tell you,” she rambled, “He'll be staying for the summer break, would leave two days after our graduation i think.”

“That sounds nice,” you commented softly.

Thoughts of Park Sunghoon coming back didn't leave your mind even after you got dropped home, wandering back to the time when you were a few years younger and had the tiniest bit of crush on him, something about watching a movie where falling in love with your best friend's brother was the plot.

You shake your head, making yourself comfortable on the couch right after.

“Well you look distraught,” your younger sister, Kitty, spoke up.

“I'm exhausted, that's all,” you closed your eyes.

She hummed as an acknowledgement to your statement, “You better not be hung up on those assholes now.”

“Kitty! Language.” you warned.

“Okay, fine,” she huffed, smiling right after, “Let's do facepacks and watch a movie then!”

You smiled at her ceaseless efforts to make you feel better.

“Race you to the room!” you screamed.

It was an unmistakably good night, your sister tucked you in bed with a blanket soon after you passed out in midst of watching the rom-com movie, staring at you with the grin, internally wishing for your happiness each day.

You groaned when your alarm rang, you've always hated how shrill the sound was but it did get the job done so you couldn't complain much. Rubbing your eyes, you looked around with your slightly blurry and adjusting vision. An open packet of chips slept right next to you, the room didn't look a lot appealing and you made a mental note to clean it after getting back from school.

Dragging yourself out of the bed, you spent time in the shower, worried about your university applications even after you had checked them five times already. Just a month more and you were ready to start a new life in a hopefully new city with a fresh enthusiasm towards success and a good life.

There was something different about today, however, you couldn't pinpoint what it was. For starters, your mom had very graciously made your favourite chocolate chip pancakes, “It was your dad's idea,” she told with a fond smile on her face when see saw your own face glowing.

You hugged them both and sat down next to Kitty, adding extra chocolate syrup before groaning how it's the most amazing, mouthwatering, worth-getting-late-to-school-for food ever.

Which also was true since the car outside had just honked for the third time already. Being impatient as you were, you grabbed and rolled the pancake before getting your bag and rushing out, muttering out a quick good bye to your family.

The sky was clear, the breeze was slightly on the cooler side — which you were thankful for. You mindlessly opened the door to the backseat, only to see the lovebirds sitting there. Then it clicked.

“Sunghoon will be picking us up tomorrow!”

Park Sunghoon was back.

And you were to sit next to him.

“Get on! We're getting late!” Mina urged, whining.

And you did, not looking at the one sitting on the driver's seat, making sure to buckle up before calmly chewing on your sweet treat. The engine purred and soon, the car was moving smoothly, the only sound coming from the backseat where your friend sat with her boyfriend, whispering and giggling lowly.

The smell of the car was musky but not too strong, which made you wonder what perfume was it that the guy sitting next to you had used.

You didn't make any efforts to start a conversation when pancakes had your undivided attention.

“So, y/n—” Sunghoon acknowledged your presence which made you choke midway your last bite.

“Oh, uhm. Hey.” you awkwardly let out, mentally scolding yourself for being like this.

That's when you finally looked at him after a whole year. He looked different. His hair slightly longer than his usual super short and neat cut, jawline more prominent and his arms on display, which looked sculpted, definitely an outcome of doing gym regularly.

The most evident change however, would be his fashion sense. His usual daily style consisted of soft and pastel shades, the kind which were considered classy and elegant. But currently, he was clad in all black, from his black sleeveless to his black jeans, he looked like some guy straight out of your wattpad fanfiction stories. And a leather jacket was kept aside to add on to his whole ’bad boy’ persona.

“I see your love for pancakes never died.” he chuckled, looking at you for a second before paying attention on the road again.

“And it never will!” you said without missing a beat.

His voice was slightly deeper than you had remembered. Ever since you had met Mina, you were comfortable enough to vocalize your thoughts, and given that you did spend a good amount of time at her place rather than your own, his brother was well versed with your basic likes and dislikes as well.

He nodded, the corner of his lips upturned with your answer, but didn't add on to your statement. However, after a comfortable amount of silence later, he opened his mouth to speak up again but Mina had the same plans, just a bit faster than his brother.

“Y/n, I hope you're ready for today.”

“What's today?” you asked, confusion evident on your face.

“A prom date searching hunt for you, of course!” her eyes wide open, no hint of humour behind them.

“Listen, Mina—” you started, “I love you, I really do but that idea is by far your worst one.”

You heard a gasp, “I'm doing this for you! I don't want to go to prom alone.”

“Excuse me?” Yedam interjected.

“Okay, I mean, I need my best friend there.” and her usual pout graced her.

“I don't need a date to be there, y'know?” you sighed.

“But I know you want one!” she concluded with a nod.

Forming a comeback to that statement was hard, especially when her words held nothing but the truth. You didn't want to be alone, eminently after you knew what the taste of companionship felt like.

“We're here.” Sunghoon spoke up, saving you from the mindless conversation.

A date would certainly be nice but you didn't want to drag a complete stranger to attend prom with you, especially because one wrong move and your mood would be spoiled.

Both of them were out of the car already, you held on to your bag strap to follow suit but were stopped with his fingers wrapping around your wrist.

“Hey, you've got a lil bit of—” he trailed off, wiping the corner of your lip with his thumb in a soft caress.

You froze with the sudden warmth of his finger and unexpected proximity. He further took his chocolate smeared finger close to his mouth, licking it slowly, maintaining eye contact while doing so.

“All good now,” he half smirked at your reaction.

“Oh, thank you,” you whispered, “for the ride and, uh this,” you pointed at your lips. Your voice, however, came out squeaky and you took that as your cue to leave.

You weren't sure if what he did was intentional or just an innocent gesture to help you.

Who doesn't like chocolate, afterall? You theorized, mind still wandering back to scene where he licked his thumb.

You sighed.

It was going to be a long vacation.

Spending the night with your best friend would usually serve as an escape from your problems but the world had different plans. You had lost the count of times you had been amused with your friend's unusual antics, these days more than ever.

“You do realize what you're saying, right?” you snickered, actively making fun of her at her latest creative idea for your prom date.

“Of course! It's the best you can get and you really need to start taking me seriously.”

You raised your brow, “Take you seriously? I'm sorry but how am I supposed to do that when you're basically offering your brother to be my date?” you challenged.

“Okay, it does sound a little ridiculous—”

“A little?”

“Stop interrupting—” her eyes were comically wide.

“The ladies are fighting, I see,” Sunghoon plopped down on the couch next to you, “This about prom again?” he directed the question towards you.

“It's honestly better if you don't ask,” you mumbled.

“Take her to prom,” Mina said alongside.

“I'm leaving,” you sighed.

“Is that even allowed?” Sunghoon asked slowly.

And for the second time on the same day, you halted your movements and observed two things — first being the big smile on Mina's face, second being Sunghoon's gaze on you.

Hair messy and clad in shorts, he looked comfortable.

You weren't awkward around each other, you seldom interacted in general, but he always made sure to drop by and greet you whenever he learned you were around the house. His smile was the first ever thing you noticed about him, found attractive even. How could you not, with his sharp canines on display which strongly reminded you of fangs. His pale skin only added to it.

“Of course! Remember last year that one brought an alumni too, he was two years older as far as I remember.”

“Do I even want to ask how you know that?” you were presently mumbling to yourself.

“Ryujin was popular, I kept tabs on what she did — in a non creepy way of course,” she explained, “Besides, Sunghoon would also be there to ensure you're safe!”

“It's prom, not assassination, Mina,” you pinched your nose bridge.

Sunghoon was focused, intently paying attention to your conversation. Eyes trained on your face to search for any kind of hesitance.

“I'll leave you two to talk for a while. Join me in my room later, yeah?” she patted your arm softly and you nodded.

Ever since you were a kid, you needed someone to push you, to voice out your opinions and include you into groups, whether it was the friend-making process or to be invited in groups for the class projects process, taking initiative wasn't your strong suit. Mina took you in with fondness on her face, never once questioning your inert behaviour but also making sure to help you open up step by step. To others, it often looked like you were being forced but in reality, she just pushed to towards the things your heart wanted.

The task was strenuous, yet she never stopped and you could only thank her for being patient with you, never once breaking her amiable aura.

The room was silent, you spoke up in hopes of diffusing the awkwardness hanging around the air, “I'm sorry, you really don't have to do anything.”

“Are you alright?” his question caught you off-guard.

You nodded, eyes wide, “Yeah, yeah totally.”

He swiped his tongue on his lower lip before speaking again, “You know—” he stopped, rethinking before opening his mouth again, “You should get some rest, yeah? And mom made some muffins this morning, your favourite ones.”

Something told you that wasn't what he had initially planned to say. Nevertheless, your face lit up with the mention of muffins, mouth watering at the sight of Sunghoon bringing out two of those for you.

“Oh god, I love your mom,” you hummed, taking the first bite and closed to eyes, focusing all of your senses into the gustatory delight.

After a beat of silence, you asked him the question that had been bugging you the whole day.

“How's uni treating you?” he looked changed, both appearance and behavioural wise. With your own journey to university close, you wondered what it would be like. Is it the way they show in movies? More fun, less studies? Or is it a hellhole waiting to give you the mental pressure you didn't know existed.

Furthermore, he was silent, speaking a lot less than usual. He was a quiet guy per se, but always talkative around the comfort of his abode, with his family and close friends. You didn't want to ask and make him uncomfortable, so you settled with the normal questions instead.

“Uni is stressful,” he chuckled, running his hand through his hair and you noticed how soft they looked, making you want to feel them yourself.

“I see your style has changed,” you commented with a small smile, ensuring that it's a good change.

“Yeah, I saw you staring at me earlier,” he smirked.

Your heart raced at that, expression turning into a panicked one.

“What? No! When did I—” forming sentences was suddenly a hard task for you.

Which elicited a heartily laugh from him, “I wasn't serious, calm down, princess.”

“Oh,” you darted your eyes elsewhere, your knee bouncing as you found your cheeks growing hot with his newfound nickname for you.

His hand was quick to stop your knee from moving — his hand cold against your warm body. Earlier, you weren't certain about his actions being intentional, but the smirk ghosting his lips made you firmly believe that he was completely aware of his practices.

With that, he ruffled your hair, whispering a good night to you before making his way towards his room. You didn't move from that spot as if you were glued, deep in thought. He didn't agree to be your partner, however, he didn't deny the proposal. You were considering him as your date, it felt wrong. Best friend's brother is always off limits, yet your friend was the one who happily offered him to you.

As your friendly date, you reminded yourself.

The thought of having a date as pretty as Sunghoon undoubtedly made you nervous, but you tried not to keep your hopes high, still hurting from your past rendezvous. Slow dancing with Sunghoon was the last thought you remembered before drifting off to dreamland, passing out on the couch.

As far as you knew, teleportation only existed in fictional world. It was beyond you how your sleeping figure shifted from the couch to your best friend's room. Sleep walking wasn't the answer either. You pushed the thought away, theorizing that maybe you were the one who walked up by yourself and forgot due to your sleepy state.

And you had a better reason to be deranged, given the current situation.

“So, when you planning to go dress shopping?” Sunghoon had asked in the car. Mina left before you, for her task started an hour earlier, which left you to fend a ride for yourself. Sunghoon had very graciously offered to drop you off.

Times like these made you wonder why you didn't have your driver's licence yet, it would have saved you from Park Sunghoon's unusual behaviour.

“Three days later at around two?” you answered, unsure still. You took out your phone to check your calender, where you had marked the reminder.

“Any particular colour you're looking for?” he inquired and you parted your lips to answer, but he further had something to add, “I'll get the matching tie once you'll be done.”

It took you second to process his sentence. Blinking twice, you looked at his driving figure, “Hold on, are you saying that—”

“—I'll accompany you to prom? If you allow me to, princess,” he spoke smoothly, stealing the words out of your mouth.

“I don't have much to do, I'm free most time,” he explained, “And you're not a bad company actually.”

His words had been repeating in your mind like an old broken record player.

“I—” you hesitated.

Instead of forming a verbal reply, you settled with a nod, heart racing with the thought of him entering the venue with your hand in his.

Another thing about Park Sunghoon, his reputation. His gang was famous around the school, and were referred to as fuckboys. He wasn't one, in fact, he had always been shy, timid and hesitant regarding everything but his true love — ice skating. Being a sportsperson only increased the gap and hence, he was called as the unapproachable for rejecting the advances of anyone who tried to get in his pants.

That would explain the current situation quite well. As if dropping you off wasn't enough, he had also decided to follow you inside school, “It's been a while, nothing has changed still.”

“Nothing much changes in a span of a year, Sunghoon,” you moved forward, trying to avoid the stares of the students, “Thank you for driving me here and everything else, I'll see you later, bye!” you spoke in a go, rushing to your assigned destination.

Sunghoon wasn't oblivious to your behaviour, seeing you flustered and unable to maintain eye contact ever since he came back amused him to no extent. Taking you to prom was a perfect opportunity to tease you more. With a satisfactory smirk, he walks back, watching your figure disappear as you sprint.

“Mina!” you spotted her sitting under the banyan tree, sipping on her coffee but almost choked once you startled her.

“Oh fuck,” you muttered, rubbing her back before she slapped your arm, stopping after seeing your expression.

“Why do you look like you've seen a ghost?” she noticed you rubbing your earlobe, the habit you had developed out of nervousness.

“Sunghoon agreed,” you whispered urgently.

“You can't be serious,” her eyes widened, softening right after, “Hey, what's wrong?” she grabbed your hand.

“I don't know, I'm scared,” you confessed.

“Of what?”

“I don't know, Mina,” you gulped.

“Look at me,” she whispered, “He may be stupid but he won't hurt you, okay?”

“Y—yeah,” you hugged her softly.

In reality, you were scared of own judgement. Perhaps it was the result of your past experience, or just the newfound fear regarding the idea of companionship, be it platonic or romantic. Mina's words made it better for you, and you kept reminding yourself that Park Sunghoon is no one but your friendly date to the prom. Getting ahead of yourself would only do harm, especially when the fear of rejection runs high in your veins.

Mina distracted you the whole day, making sure you get home safely before she left for her own place.

“As much as I love how you're trying to help y/n,” Mina started, dropping her bag on the couch, “I will personally punch you if you ever hurt her.”

“Woah, why would I hurt her?” he asked, brows furrowed.

“As a bestfriend, it's my duty to remind you still, so you better behave,” she said, “But in all honesty, take care of her since you'll be taking her to shop and make sure she feels safe and happy.”

“I promise,” he said earnestly.

He knew Mina's overprotectiveness jumped out in spontaneous bursts, yet he felt like it had a bigger reason than that. He found himself thinking of you for the entire night, wondering if he could make it better somehow.

After all, behind that black leather jacket hid the same old Sunghoon who was sweet and clad in pastels, the one who liked to figure skate and see others happy.

Just like you, he slept thinking about what the future held for you both.

The first thing you did after getting your letter of recommendation after three days was to finalize your resume, sending it out in hopes of getting into your dream university in Seoul. You further made sure to send in applications to your back up universities just in case.

It gave you a sense of relief as you stood out in the fresh air while waiting for Mina to pick you up.

You really needed to get your licence.

Acknowledging that you were to leave this place soon, your eyes took everything in as you stood in your front yard. A gentle smile gaced your face as you saw the apple tree which you and your sister had planted years back, it grew up with you.

“Y/n? Hey!” an enthusiastic voice grabbed your attention, you turned to see your neighbour, Jake, waving at you with a smile.

“Jakey, hey,” you smiled as the smiley boy hugged you softly, you noticed how his scent was light and woody.

“Where are you off to?” he asked, taking in your outfit.

“Oh, Mina successfully persuaded me into going dress shopping with her,” you scrunched your nose, which he giggled at, “It's prom in like, less than a month,” he nodded.

“Do you have a partner already?” he asked, voice low as he fiddled with his fingers.

“Yeah! I honestly am clueless as to how we reached upon this agreement but Park Sunghoon agreed to be my friendly date for the night,” you explained, adding ‘friendly’ as a reminder to yourself.

He looked at you bug eyed, “Sunghoon? Woah, is he back in the town?” he asked, slightly shocked as you mention the guy who was the same age as you both, however he had been your senior due to his early admissions.

Hence he had completed his first year of university while you were yet to get into one.

You nodded, confirming his statement. Just as you were talking about him, his car came into view, honking for no particular reason even after seeing your figure outside.

“That's my ride! I'll see you later?” you asked and his lips turned into an alluring smile.

“Have fun!” he said, pulling you into another hug.

He loved physical affection, you had noticed so in your past years of being friends with him.

With a brightened mood, you sat down in the car, putting your seatbelt on, stretching out your hello before getting comfortable in your seat.

“Well, you look happy today,” Mina pointed out.

“I'm just happy that I've sent out my resume,” you replied, eyes travelling to see the driver, you found yourself staring at his usual sanguine demeanor.

“Are you sure it's not because of Jake's cozy hug?” she teased.

“Shut up, oh god,” you tried not to laugh at her mindless pairing.

“Do you like him?” Sunghoon was quick to inquire.

“He's just a sweet guy!” you replied just as fast.

“Oh yeah, why didn't you ask him to prom then, y/n?” Yedam was the one who asked you this time.

“Uhm—” you stopped, “I don't know.”

“She's got a better partner, y'know?” Sunghoon said, gripping the steering wheel harder.

To which you three laughed. It was chaotic with everyone trying to speak mid-way each other's sentences but it gave you a good laugh, so you couldn't complain about it.

In midst of this, you saw Sunghoon smile with his fangs showing. A genuine smile you hadn't seen in a long time. It was no secret that he had a pretty smile, the kind which would make you want to smile back at him.

Your expression was quick to change when Mina shoved five dresses in your arms in one go, making the boys laugh at your struggle.

“Stop laughing and help me!” you groaned.

Sunghoon took the dresses from you, asking Yedam to take Mina away, preferably to the shop right next to the one you were in. It wasn't a bad idea considering how the five dress shops were lined up together.

“Your sister will be the death of me,” you spoke up, trying to make a small conversation with him, you turned around to see a female attendant, no older than twenty five, staring at Sunghoon.

“You've got a fan by the way,” you laughed, discreetly pointing at the attendant and his eyebrows furrowed, soon turning back to you with a teasing face.

“Why? You jealous?”

“Jealous of what?”

“Don't worry, princess, you're my date and not her.”

You gasped at the cursed nickname again, giving him the exact reaction he wanted out of you. It was so easy you call you his date while you always tend to add the title of ‘friendly’ along with it. Deciding to not overthink, you tried to use his own tricks to examine his reaction.

“I'm, in no way, jealous,” you stated, touching the fabric of a dress you found attractive, “You are my partner after all,” you voiced, emphasizing on 'my'.

“Try this,” he handed you a black dress, it didn't seem gaudy and actually suited your taste.

“Not bad, Park,” you commented.

It riled him up to find more pieces for you but seeing the amount of dresses you had to try, he stopped himself.

The store was unbelievably empty, giving you enough space to wander around, it seemed like the staff was on leave too, only a few attendants around and busy with other customers. You made your way towards the changing rooms, Sunghoon following your suit.

“I hope your taste is pleasing, Park, since you'll be helping me decide a dress today.”

“Of course, my taste is grand. I'm here with you, aren't I?” he smoothly let out.

You gulped, “Good,” you commented, going inside to try the first dress on. It was Mina's choice, a light peach coloured off-shoulder dress with a hint of tulle on skirt.

It looked beautiful however, you were not satisfied. You stepped out from the room, making him look up. You noticed how his mouth opened and closed in the span of a second.

“It looks graceful,” he commented in a low voice, eyeing you up and down, “Do you like it?”

“It is angelic, I admit but something is missing,” you verbalized, looking at him. His lower lip was bitten, mind elsewhere as he nodded.

You didn't comment on his behaviour, cheeks suddenly hot with how intense his gaze was as you walked back into the room, trying out several other dresses, only to notice him sporting the same expression.

“You look pretty,” he had commented when you wore a dark blue dress with a thin strap and sweetheart neckline. His voice came out breathy, giving you goosebumps in an instant. You shortlisted that dress.

After a few more trails, you were left with the black corset dress which further would accentuate your figure. It was Sunghoon's choice, and hence, was left to be the last.

But luck wasn't on your side today. As you were zipping the dress up, the zipper got stuck midway in a fashion that you couldn't get the dress off or wear it fully, meaning, you had to ask for help. Peeking out, you tried to spot any female attendant for help but were unable to find any.

“What's wrong?” Sunghoon asked, standing up from the waiting seat.

“The zipper got stuck,” you sheepishly let out, “And I need help.”

“Get in,” he said, following you inside the not-too-spacious area.

“Hoon—” you had used his nickname by unconsciously. Suddenly, your breathing was unstable with his next action.

He stood behind you, your eyes fixated on his figure as you observed his each action carefully through the mirror in front of you. You gasped when his surprisingly cold and slender fingertips touched your bare back, grazing down to get a hold of your zipper.

“Don't move,” his breath fanned your neck as he whispered in your ear, voice deeper than usual.

Your body stilled, hyperaware of his movements, shivering with the trail of touch he left on your spine, successfully zipping your dress up.

He looked up, “You're breathtakingly beautiful,” he spoke up with his arm wrapping around your waist.

Your breath hitched, yet you didn't stop him. You didn't want to stop him, not when his eyes were the prettiest shade of brown, and he watched you as if he was staring at your soul.

You turned to face him and he tucked a stray strand of hair behind your ear, you opened your mouth to call out his name, but were interrupted with a knock on the door.

“Would you be needing any help, miss?” a cheerful voiced called out, drawing you out of your reverie.

You took a step back, gathering your thoughts as Sunghoon did the same, gulping and looking at the floor with bitten lips — a thing you had noticed he did a lot.

“U—uhm, no! I'll be fine, thank you so much!” you spoke out loud, trying your best to sound normal and not strained.

“Out!” you whisper-shouted once you heard the clanking of heels growing distant.

He only stepped closer, “Won't you be needing help getting out of your dress?” he asked mustering an innocent expression.

“Leave!” you pushed him away, his boyish laugh boomed in the empty area as he made his way out, giving you the privacy to change.

Once alone, you were quick to lean against the door, blinking to get your head around the incidence which took place just a moment back. You could still feel the your skin burning at all the places he touched you.

“You sure you don't want—” his muffled voice came from outside and your cheeks lifted up in a hearty laugh, “Shut up, Sunghoon!”

You shoved the dresses in Sunghoon's hand once you came out, giving him a small wink with a smug expression on your face, letting him know that you'll be playing along with his tricks just by your expression.

Seeing the black fabric in your arms only made it better, it was the chosen one and you had to get the opinion of your best friend on it. So you called her, excusing yourself for a minute, while you also looked at the heels which glistened under the lighting it was placed under to make it seem more appealing. It was working.

Mina took no longer than five minutes to get to you, a tired Yedam following her suit with two bags in his hand.

“Woah, did you get your stuff already?” you asked, walking alongside her while giving the guy a sympathetic smile.

“I liked two dresses actually, I sent you the pictures already by the way, had a mini shoot in the dressing room, but yeah, couldn't choose one so ended up getting them both!” she explained, sipping on her pink drink which you guessed was strawberry flavored.

“Love that energy,” you shook your head with a smile, “Here's what I liked,” you proceeded to show her a few pictures you clicked in different angles after you got rid of a certain guy named Park Sunghoon from your dressing area.

Her eyes popped out, “Dude, it's made for you, I'll punch you if you don't get that,” she scoots over to swipe and see it in all angles.

“Get what?” Sunghoon came to join you guys.

“The last outfit I tried on—” you were interrupted.

“Oh, here,” he handed you the bag, the dress neatly placed inside it.

“You paid for it?” you took out the bill, getting out your wallet alongside to see if you could pay him back in cash.

He was quick to stop you, “You don't have to,” he said, his hand placed on yours.

“My brother got you the dress? Are you in love with my best friend? Because I'm sorry but the dresses are expensive and you hate paying in general,” she accused with a smirk on her lips, thoroughly enjoying the switch in your relationship dynamics.

You ignored her as Sunghoon avoided her gaze, “I'll pay you back once I get home,” your words were final.

“I think Mina is onto something,” Yedam spoke.

You stopped scrolling your tumblr feed, paying attention to his words as you both waited for the siblings to come back with your McDonald's order.

“I think Sunghoon likes you!”

You laugh incredulosly, watching his concentrated face as he tried to piece some sort of mind puzzle together. It faltered with a sudden flashback of his lips being so near to your ear, arm around your waist. You cleared your throat.

“Hear me out, okay?” you nodded, urging him to continue with his hypothesis, “He never once complained about picking you up or dropping you off while he always refuses to do the same with Mina—”

“It's a sibling thing to do actually.”

“—He agreed to be your date in a go, without any persuasive means whatsoever—”

“I think that was out of pity to be honest.”

“—And wordlessly accompanied you for shopping, not to mention that he himself paid for your dress.”

He had concluded and you had run out of words, however you scoffed to see him writing it all down on a stray piece of paper, “Are you seriously making a list right now?”

Ignoring your heart racing faster with the points laid out, you snatched that list from him, to which he snickered.

“We're back!” Mina happily plopped in the chair next to you, and you hurriedly shoved the piece of paper in your pocket.

Yedam only exchanged a look which screamed that he's right just as Sunghoon sat down opposite to you.

You were less educated on the topic of what behavioural pattern should you be following when your said date gets cozy with you while also being your best friend's brother. All you were sure about that you enjoyed the activities despite them being wrong.

Friendship rule book would state that the siblings are always off limits, but never guided you for what to do when the said friend tries to pair you with her sibling.

Having a little fun wouldn't hurt anyone, right?

Right?

The drive back home would have been silent if not for the music playing on the car speakers. To no one's surprise, Mina had gotten off at Yedam's place, leaving you alone with the devil yet again. You were a either a puddle or a strangely confident mess around him, you couldn't follow the pattern still.

“Come on,” you practically dragged him inside your place, your mom and sister ecstatic to meet him and he shyly bowed down, your mom cooing at his good manners and upbringing while your sister was set on asking him questions about why he agreed to go with you, “You better not hurt her, Mr.” she spoke in a low voice.

“Would never do that to her, Miss.” he replied softly.

In the years you've known him, he had always been a polite person, respectful just as he was now towards your family, it warmed your heart slightly to see the cute interaction, a faint dimple resting happily on his face, and you were sure that his bad boy persona was just his exterior wall built up to not get hurt, something that you understood with your wall being high as well.

However, you weren't sure how long you could keep it up with the said dimpled boy being around.

Rummaging your other wallet, where you kept cash, you gathered the exact amount you had to pay him back.

“Don't do this,” he shook his head, keeping the notes on your desk.

“Hoon—” you glanced at how effortlessly he filled up the space between you two, standing closer now that you had privacy in your room.

“I know you wish to pay me back, but please don't do it, the dress looked gorgeous on you,” he coaxed, “Instead, you could pay me back by spending time with me, princess.”

He had you trapped around your desk with his arms on the either side of you, his words evoking a fuzzy feeling in your lower abdomen.

“Yeah?” you whispered softly, leaning in slightly.

Your hand felt tiny when you held his bigger one, taking two steps and pulling him towards your door, he followed without any question, always intrigued with your actions.

“I would spend time with you willingly,” you whispered, tucking the folded cash in his back pocket and you could feel how slender his waist was, “Good night, Park.”

You concluded the conversation by planting a firm kiss on his cheek, seeing a faint smile blooming on his face before you shut the door, biting your lip to stop yourself from grinning like a maniac, already looking forward to your next meet up.

“Are you really ditching me for your boyfriend? Is that what our friendship has come to?” you feigned hurt, waiting outside the theatre you had promised to meet at.

Nevertheless, her priorities had changed — replacing herself with her brother would be the top one, closely followed by her spending those hours with her boyfriend.

“I genuinely forgot, okay? I'm so sorry!” she insisted, “But you have nothing to worry about, Sunghoon will be there to keep you company, Bye!” with that, she hung up the call, leaving you confused for a second before you squinted your eyes, noticing a tall figure running up to you.

Unlike his usual self, he sported a light blue shirt today, jogging up to you with his hair bouncing slightly. He was awfully pleasant to look at.

“Hey, princesss. Hope the movie hasn't started yet,” he grinned when you took his extended hand in yours.

You shook your head, “You're right on time, Park.”

You learned a few things about Sunghoon on your way to your seat. First being that he would do anything but let you pay for the snacks, or anything else for that matter. Secondly, he's the kind to place an order for a couple's combo, meaning, you'd be sharing the big tub of popcorn. Third and last, he preferred sitting at the top corner seats, “It feels cozy,” he explained.

Throughout the movie, he made sure to dig in his hand in the popcorn bucket at the same time as yours, keeping it on his lap. Your hands brushed, making you feel giddy inside as if you were a new couple on the honeymoon phase of their relationship.

You rubbed your earlobe out of nervousness. His heart felt full seeing your gentle figure sitting next to him, his hands desired to encase your own, and so he did. His eyes on the screen as you could see the little characters moving around in his eyes, meanwhile, his thumb caressed and rubbed gentle circles on the back of your hand, providing you with warmth and comfort.

Mid-way the movie, his face was buried in your neck with an urgency, trying his hardest not to pay attention to the screen anymore.

It was beyond amusing that Park Sunghoon was scared of ghosts, it was getting hard for you to stifle your blooming giggles.

“Didn't know you were this adorable, Park,” you cooed, ruffling his hair which made him gulp and sit back up with a quivering lip.

“I just wanted to be close to you—” a glimpse back at the screen and he came back to hide himself in your neck.

He was just the company you had needed this long, the one you've been craving ever since you first got the hang of what intimacy tasted like.

Your teasing was endless, staring with poking his cheek, laughing at him softly and lastly, calling him a baby. He feigned annoyance, huffing and running to chase you, which would be your current situation.

With no plans to return home, he had given you an offer to have ice cream at the park which was favorably around the corner, hardly a five minute walk.

“I'll pay,” you stated, nodding your head once.

“No can do, princess,” he chuckled.

“Would you ever let me pay for anything at all?”

“You paid for the dress, that hurt me enough,” his big hand rested above his heart, eyes scrunched to indicate the pain.

“Oh come on! It's just an ice cream,” you whined, stopping like a toddler to make fuss, stomping your feet to show your exaggerated frustration.

He cooed at your ministrations as you made your way towards the ice cream shop, looking over the wide variety of treats to choose from, your eyes shining at the vibrant colours paired with the heavenly smell of sweetness hanging over the dimly lit shop which you had grown to be fond of in this brief visit of yours.

Sunghoon was quick to select his ice cream while you took time with yours, seeing so many new flavours you wished to try, you wondered why you had never been to this shop before.

“I'll pay!” you handed cashier your card which he accepted with a smile, Sunghoon shaking his head at the back with a hint of grin.

“Do you still ice skate?” you asked once you were settled on a wooden bench, a small pond right ahead with some cute ducks swimming around on a lookout for something edible.

Your question caught him off guard, “I—I haven't been to the rink in a long time,” he confessed slowly and you gave him a confused look.

“Do you miss it though?”

He nodded wordlessly.

You mimicked his action. Ever since you had first seen him skate with the courtesy of Mina, it was easy to fall in love with the way he glided around the ice so gracefully, fluffy hair bouncing around with his triple axel as he landed his foot in a perfect position, completing his sophisticated routine. You had always accompanied Mina for his competitions ever since. You had witnessed him getting better at his abilities.

With your ice creams almost finished, he looked your way, frowning when he saw you deep in thought.

“Hey,” he whispered, capturing your attention.

In a second, the last and your favourite part of the ice cream cone was gone, the culprit being Park Sunghoon who had his mouth full with a triumph smirk on his face.

“No you didn't,” it was more of a warning than anything else. He found the sight of your mouth hung open highly cute and funny.

“Uh uh,” he stopped your arm from flailing, holding you in place. “You've got a little something—” he trailed off just as he had done when he first came back home.

His finger was quick to wipe the curve of your smile, collecting the slightly melted ice cream you had messily left there before he took it closer to his mouth, his tongue swirling around his finger in a slow motion as he tasted it.

Your eyes closed autonomously. Taking in a deep breath, you stood up to chase Sunghoon and he ran with all his might, “You can't keep doing that!” you screamed and thanked your luck for the park being rather empty, you would have been a nuisance for the public otherwise.

“I can, I will,” his laugh made you smile back but you halted once you got near the ice cream shop, the same one you had been to not even twenty minutes back.

Sunghoon stopped turned to see what you were looking at, it was a guy, you didn't look too happy to see him. He jogged back to you.

“Hoon,” you turned him around so that your back was against the big tree, his figure hiding you from the vision of the guy who had rejected you.

He was sweet, but you admit it was embarassing for you to even go back at that memory. Especially when it was your first time trying after your heartbreak with Heeseung.

Peeking in a manner which won't expose your figure, you saw Yoshi with a girl. It was probably her, his date, but it looked like they were dating, bashful smile on his face.

You gasped when the you saw who he was with.

“Hoon, isn't that—”

“Anna,” he whispered, gulping down his emotions but his eyes reflected his feelings.

Anna was famous around the school for many reasons, she was graceful and kind to others, at least in front of them. However, her name was known by all once she started dating Sunghoon, the event being a big deal since he never went even close to kissing anyone, dating was a dream for them.

You were convinced that he looked at Anna with heart in his eyes, until one day they broke up, you didn't know the reason why, it wasn't your place to ask him anything.

Now, the love in his eyes was replaced by a mixture of hurt and hatred. At least that's what you gathered from your little act of espionage.

“Are they gone?” you asked in a whisper.

“They're leaving,” he replied, bringing his attention back to you.

The atmosphere had turned gloomy, the clouds filling up the sky as the evening approached.

“I think they left,” you spoke up a few seconds later, finally paying attention to the proximity, he had you trapped against the tree.

“They didn't,” he said without checking once, his gaze transfixed on your face and a question bugged your head unprovoked — how his lips would feel against yours.

You looked up at his deep brown eyes, his nose brushing against yours in a soft caress, making you stand up on your tippy toes, his hand on your waist helping you balance as you held on to his arm for support.

“Are you alright?” you asked gently, cradling his face. A shiver went down your spine when he opened his mouth to reply, his lips brushing yours.

“I want to kiss you,” the thoughts of you filled his mind, and you were more than willing to be a distraction for him.

“Then do it,” you urged in not more than a whisper.

He licked his lower lip, caressing your cheek with his thumb as his forehead rested on yours.

Your heart fluttered when his lips met yours in a gentle kiss and you could only focus on how soft and plump his lips felt against your own.

He smiled when he tasted the bits of chocolate from the ice cream you had earlier, the curve of his mouth made you smile into the kiss along with him. The warmth spreading around his body clearly indicating that it felt right, that Sunghoon had wanted to kiss you ever since he saw you with chocolate chip pancakes when he came back.

Maybe he had liked you prior to that, but never had a reason to act upon it until he got the opportunity to be with you, to experience it with you.

“Hoon,” your gasp made him pull you closer, he couldn't wrap his head around how pretty you were and how perfectly his name rolled off your tongue.

Your whole body tingled with his lean body pressed against yours, a sound desperately wanted to escape your throat, but you didn't let that happen.

He leaned back to see a white petal on your head, probably from the tree above, which picked off and blowed away, making you giggle. His cheeks were flushed and you could hear his heart beating fast as your hand rested on his chest.

“Let's go,” he took your hand.

“Where?” you asked, still breathless.

“Home.”

The place was empty when he pulled you in his room, it was clean and minimalistic, just as you thought it would be. You dreaded to bring the topic up, not wanting to mess up what had just started between you both, so you tried to approach him with hesitation.

“Can I ask you something?” you fiddled with your fingers.

“Yeah, of course,” he said, already knowing what was to come. He made you sit with him on the bed, facing you and making sure you were close to him.

“What happened back there?” you spoke slowly. Holding his hand and securely keeping it on your lap when you saw his vulnerable state.

“I don't know, I—I just froze when I saw her,” he started, “You've met her before,” you nodded, rubbing soothing circles on his hand.

“Anna was the first person I had genuinely grown to love and she was amazing, kept me on my toes, made me laugh until—” he suck in a breath, “—until she decided I wasn't enough.”

“What?” you thought they fell out of love, had a misunderstanding but never considered what he had to say next.

“She cheated on me while I was away at university, I had come back to surprise her and, yeah I got surprised with the sight in front of me.” his voice cracked and you wanted nothing more than to engulf him in a hug.

And so you did. He graciously accepted it, pulling you close enough for you to be on his lap. You noticed how he was shaking and you cupped his cheek.

“She's genuinely the worst human to have let gone of you,” you kissed his nose, “You're beautiful, amazing and most importantly, you're enough.”

You said those words in such a convincing manner that even he had grown to believe it.

“You think so?” he leaned forward.

“I know so,” you confirmed.

He let out a breath.

“You make me go crazy, y/n,” he whispered, leaning his forehead on yours.

“Use me,” you said, “To forget about her.”

“No,” he stopped you, tucking your hair behind your ear. “I want you, genuinely. She's got nothing on you, y/n.”

His words were as convincing as yours, which made you kiss him, pulling his nape closer to you, he groaned into the kiss.

“Tell me about you,” he said after breaking the kiss.

“Tell what?” you gulped.

“The reason of your sadness, you've been the most jolly person I've ever come across and you haven't been yourself lately,” he worded it carefully as to not hurt you.

You bit your lip once before gathering your thoughts, “I got heartbroken too, i guess.”

“Did he hurt you?” his voice held anger.

“No! Lord no. I hurt myself by expecting too much.” you frowned, thinking about your summer camp and the bambi eyed boy who took your first kiss. Your first love.

“Hey, I got you,” he kissed you again, distracting your mind from going into a spiral of the thoughts you did not need.

You tilted your head to give him more access to your neck, his scent filled up your nose, subtle yet musky, whimpering out his name as he bit your clavicle, kissing it right after.

“Like that?” he asked, continuing to give you his undivided attention.

You nodded, looking at him, basked in the sight of his pretty face, nose brushing on your skin which tickled you faintly.

“Y/n,” he called your name lowly, his hand travelling inside your top, caressing your waist, squeezing it gently.

You were sitting just above his crotch, which made you aware of his current state, chest heaving up and down when you felt him growing hard.

“See what you're doing to me,” he whispered, his lips on the shell of your ear.

Just then, he rolled his hips up, pressing his hardened cock on your clothed core, which had started to get wet with your current activities.

A sudden feeling of bravery took over your body, “You can't complain when you're doing the same,” you let out, unbuttoning your shorts, guiding his hand inside for him to feel your soaked panties.

The groan he let out was enough to make you go crazy, head clouded with the thoughts more lewd. “I'm gonna fucking ruin you,” he said, rubbing you through your panties.

“Do it, please! I want you to ruin me,” you said, expressing your eagerness with each word, pressing yourself down on his fingers to get more friction.

You were under him just a second after those left your mouth, his hand cradling your cheek, “You sure?”

Nodding, you looked at him with an innocent expression, he heard how staggered your breath had become, “I need words, princess.”

His fingers wrapped around your neck, applying the slightest pressure to get an answer out of you, “Yes—” you breathed out, gulping down.

You whined when he retreated his hand, getting up, however, the sight in front of you was a thousand times better than you could have ever imagined.

Park Sunghoon getting rid of his clothes in all his glory, skin glistening under the dim light of the room.

Eyes never leaving yours, he got closer again, faint line of abs in your view as his hands swiftly removed your shorts along with your panties, leaving you bare from bottom.

He sucked in his breath at the sight. It was clear how you affected him just enough if not more, desperation shining deep in his keen dark eyes. Even more so when you happily got rid of your top for him, revealing your valley of breasts. He wasted no time in settling himself between your legs, his kisses felt nothing less than him worshipping your body. Your eyes rolled back with pleasure as he found a particular spot on your neck which made you shiver, that being his favourite place to come back to.

“Fuck,” you breathed out, his hardened length poking your inner thigh, too close to your wet slit, where you needed him the most.

Meanwhile, your brain also wondered how you'd be able to fit his length in. You wrapped your arms around his neck, pulling him close to your lips, brushing them against his in an urgent whisper, “Hoon, fuck me I beg you.”

“Shit. How can I ever say no to you, especially when you look at me like that?” he pumped his dick a few times, licking his lower lip as he positioned himself at your entrance, your wetness touching his tip.

He kisses you roughly as finally enters you in a go, thrusting a few times to bottom out inside you.

His lips silenced your moans, your mind turning into a mush with the stretch, lips chanting his name like a mantra, which his lips absorbed with a groan.

Your walls clenched around him, his breathing ragged with the warm feeling of having you around him. Having you under him wasn't something he should have ever thought about, but you gave him exactly what he wanted out of you, a reaction. Always shy and flustered around him, he loved that and looked forward to spending time with you, the physical attraction paired up with genuine liking, he had grown attached to you in the little time you spent together. However, he didn't consider it little for, you had always been around him one way or the other.

But having you under him topped it all. He can see how sensitive you've grown, so he decides to speed it up for your sake, teasing your nipples with his tongue as he pounded into you, his strength unmatched with the thrusts getting harder as you tried to contain your noises to prevent them reaching to other rooms. You couldn't afford that.

Your nails dug in his shoulders, dragging against his back hard enough to leave marks. He seemed to enjoy seeing you a squirming mess and he wondered how it would feel to hear your pretty whimpers and moans which you had been trying so hard to keep to yourself.

You felt like you were in heaven with a guy who didn't look any less than a greek god, fucking you with all he had, hitting your g-spot. You could barely comprehend anything but him, clenching around him harder when you felt his cock twitch inside of you, a familiar knot building in your lower abdomen.

“Let go, baby,” he whispered, thumb caressing your cheek, “Show me how pretty you look while cumming,” he said, holding himself back from filling you up.

You felt drunk on his cock as he whispered sweet nothings in the shell of your ear, his breath tickling you. He made sure to maintain his composure while rubbing your clit with his thumb, helping you approach your orgasm with his thrusts getting sloppier. You gasp at the feeling of your orgasm washing over, Sunghoon pulling his cock out, spilling his cum all over your lower abdomen as he hissed out lowly, eyebrows scrunched and lip bitten with the euphoria taking over you both.

You couldn't stop yourself from gathering his cum on your two fingers, sucking them clean with a hum while looking into his eyes.

“Good fucking lord, you are so mine,” he growled, pulling you up into a kiss, his hand on your nape to have you closer to him.

He saw your face glowing, a gentle smile on your face, which he returned, feeling giddy. He pulled you up as you yelped, giggling. The aura in the room had switched to something lighter, happiness filling the air as you saw his eyes absorbing every inch of you.

“You were amazing,” he pecked you gently. “You are amazing, y/n.”

His words made you feel valid and safe, something which had been lacking in your life from a while despite your loved ones trying their hardest to cheer you up. And you were thankful to have them all. He had the most adorable smile on his face the entire time he babied you, cleaning you up and throwing in compliments here and there, which made you hide your face behind your hands.

Now clad in his big black t-shirt, you lied down on his bed, him joining you soon. You fiddled with the end of his t-shirt, it smelled like him and you felt like a little baby being pampered.

“C'mere, I haven't kissed you enough,” he held you close, making you laugh at the small kisses he placed all over your face.

“Hey!” you whined as he avoided your lips. That successfully elicited a laugh out of him as he leaned down to capture your lips in a kiss.

“Thank you,” he spoke softly, making you furrow your brows, cuddling closer to him under your light blanket, the cool air of the airconditioner giving you goosebumps, his warmth being your escape from it.

“For being here—” he held your hand, “—and hearing me out, I'm not the best when it comes to the heart to heart talks.” he admitted with a small frown.

“You can always talk to me, I'm here,” you said softly, pecking his forehead before he pulled you in an embrace.

“You're beautiful,” he said out of nowhere, resulting in your scrunched up nose which he found more than adorable, pulling you into a another kissing session which made you realize and come to terms with one important thing—

You liked Park Sunghoon.

And he reciprocated your feelings.

Sunghoon's head was buried in your neck, his lips brushed your skin with a soft tickle and this sight was something you hadn't ever expected to see, however, you wanted to remember it forever. You fondly ran your fingers through his soft locks just like you had wanted to, until you got an abrupt reminder of what had happened.

You had sex.

With Park Sunghoon.

Your best friend's brother.

With that, you woke up faster than ever with the intention to leave before getting caught. You wanted to tell Mina before she found out with some other source. The possibility of her accepting your newest setting would be high, but it was something you didn't want to bet over.

Sunghoon groaned with the sudden movement of yours, which disrupted his peaceful sleep, he looks angelic while sleeping, you did admit.

“Y/n?” his voice came out raspy, deeper than his usual tone, which was both, a blessing and a curse. You were torn between a need to hear more of his voice and the urge to get out without anyone else noticing.

Keeping, your hormones aside, you opted for the latter option, shaking the said boy to wake him enough for him to interpret your words properly.

“Mornin',” he scrunched his nose, opening one eye before pulling you in a hug, holding you like a plushie before placing a sweet kiss on your head.

Getting him out of bed was hard, especially when he wanted nothing more than to sleep with having you in his arms. Nevertheless, you succeed in dragging him to the attached bathroom, waiting for him to brush his teeth while you tried to keep your prying eyes away from his naked torso.

“Come on, Hoon, I have to get back! I can't get caught here, I don't even know how Mina would react to that—your sister is unpredictable really—” he figured that the only way to stop your rambling would be to have you pinned between his arms, and he did so, your back pressed against the sink tiles as he smirked, showing a glimpse of his freshly brushed teeth—which took him five more minutes than you despite the initial start time being same for you both.

“Princess, calm down or else I'll have to fuck your mouth to shut you up,” he warned playfully.

As tempting as the offer was, you shut your mouth, looking away from his gaze before he laughed, helping you out and dropping you back to your place without anyone else noticing your presence.

He was adamant about you kissing him as a good bye, which you did to earn a goofy smile out of him. He pulled you in for another one before letting you go with a sad look showcasing his face.

You took the longest shower after, telling your parents you stayed over at Mina's, which wasn't a lie on your side. Each droplet on your skin felt like a blanket of comfort as your vulnerable body thought about each thing that took place last night. The thought of Mina not knowing was killing you. Of course, you weren't about to tell her the details but seeking permission felt only right for you.

Which is why you sat down at your usual seat at the little pink cafe nearby, waiting for your friend to come over, your fingers rubbing your ear as you thought of fleeing at the last moment. You had called her but you did miss one important thing — you had no way to clearly tell her what you and Sunghoon were.

Not when you weren't sure yourself.

“It's been ages since I last met you,” she made her loud entrance, hugging you right away.

“I missed you,” you said, hugging her back.

You did, you missed hearing her bitching about random girls who hit on Yedam, you missed watching Disney movies with her even when you both were well versed with each line of Frozen, you would watch it with her without question.

Catching up with her was easy, it had barely been two days which you didn't spend with each other, yet she had a ton of new gossip to mull over, almost making you forget about your worries.

Just something about the Park siblings made you feel better in a genuine manner, maybe it was in their genes to have a safe aura around them.

You were laughing at something she had told you about her ex, until you both grew silent—it was a comfortable one.

“I saw you yesterday,” she started slowly.

You opened your mouth to say something, your heart beating faster at the wait of what was to come.

“After his breakup, he never opened up to anyone,” Mina confessed, you looking at her with confusion. “He didn't even tell mom, or me, or anyone for that matter. His appearance changed to the darker kind—” she tried wording it up correctly, but got emotional mid-way, eyes teary, “I don't know, he stopped talking altogether and he wasn't even ready to come home for holidays, it was mom who dragged him here.”

“Mina—” you tried to find some comforting words, gripping your drink tighter, “—I didn't know, I'm so sorry.”

She let out a soft laugh, “Sorry? You bitch! I should be saying thank you to you, I don't know what black magic you're doing to him but he's talking, smiling even!”

You felt overwhelmed with this newfound information, your hopes of having something genuine with him was high, and the thought of being with him wasn't so scary anymore.

“And I heard him open up to you last night, I didn't hear it of course, I wouldn't want to invade his privacy and left, but I'm glad he's got you, y/n.”

She looked at you with soft eyes, “I warned him to take care of you, but I have this little request for you too,” you nodded, eyes teary as you saw your friend sniffling. And you cursed yourself for being so sensitive. “Take care of him as well, please.” her voice came out strained and you nodded urgently, giving her the best smile you could muster at the given moment.

You opted to walk back home, letting everything sink in. First love was something which you had kept on a pedestal, the idea of falling in love was beautiful, but you did hear about it being comparable to a rose—beautiful, attracts everyone with it's pretty colours and fragrance. Nonetheless, it came with thorns which were promised to prick your skin, to make you bleed. It hurt. Sunghoon didn't take it well, you wouldn't either had you been in his place.

The weather seemed to have heard your inner conflicts, it's mood changing into a gloomy one as little rain droplets fell on your body, making you shiver with the cold temperature of it.

You didn't mind the drizzle, you simply wanted to run to Sunghoon and smash your lips onto his. Like you had thought of before — Park Sunghoon was a soft boy with a delicate heart beneath that tough leather jacket. Your clothes sticking to your body with the wetness of the rain taking over.

The walk was peaceful and you didn't have the littlest clue of what was to come. A deep voice called out your name, grabbing your attention as you finally looked up. You had almost been home. Nevertheless, you weren't sure if it was your hallucination, or whether Sunghoon was standing in front of your place, hair wet and a sweet smile plastered onto his face as he saw you.

“Hoon?” you whispered, asking yourself if he was here, and he started walking towards you, which confirmed that you weren't going crazy. And you ran. Your heart talking control of your mind and he eagerly waited to pull you in a hug, but you had different plans.

Standing in front of him, you cup his cheek, standing on your tippy toes as you searched his eyes for any kind of hesitance. That's when he took your name again, hands on your waist, your body pressed against his as you finally smashed your lips on his, pulling him in a fervent kiss.

He had been restless ever since you had gone back to your place in the morning, he wanted to hold you again, to kiss you, to have you close to him. He wasn't a stranger to these feelings, well aware of how much he had grown to like you. So he simply came over to your place, only for your mom to say you're not home. Waiting for you seemed like the best idea since you hadn't checked his texts as well.

Park Sunghoon was a living fantasy, he swiftly removed his leather jacket, covering both your heads before pulling you closer by the nape. You laughed softly as his strong hands kept you up when your legs started to get wobbly, he drove you insane.

“Sunghoon,” his name rolled off your tongue perfectly.

“I wanted to see you, I fucking miss you every second of my day. What have you done to me?” he spoke up, voice coming out as a breathless whisper.

Your heart melted at how effortlessly he confessed his feelings for you, made you feel like you mattered.

“Kiss me,” you replied, and he wasted no time in doing so, his lips feeling like a soft caress on yours, plump and molding perfectly against your own.

Your heart fluttered more than ever, and you knew he felt exactly the same with how fast his heartbeat was, your hand on his chest, your cheeks heating up with the feeling of happiness filling you up.

You wanted him around for a long time.

He made sure to do so.

The next few days were incredible, your parents were more than happy to see your eyes shining like they usually did, Kitty teased you with Sunghoon's name, laughing at how breathless you got with the thought of him being even close to you.

As for the said guy, he intended on being close to you. Just like how he paid a visit to you at midnight the other day, being the epitome of cliché as he got out a ladder to climb up to your room, your panicked face sending him into a laughing fit. He was unbelievable, going from being soft and cuddling with you, to grabbing your breast from behind, his hard on poked your ass. You gasped as he kept his hand over your mouth, trailing down sweet kisses on your neck before you pleaded for more. He held you close as he fucked you from behind, his nose brushing against your nape, and you could only close your eyes with how full and content you felt with him.

He couldn't get enough of you, especially when he hadn't heard you whimper out his name, so he decided to take you on a long drive in his beloved car, driving you to a breathtaking area, a secluded spot where the stars shined brightly.

Under that blanket of dark blue beauty, he kissed you, helping you get on his lap. That's when he heard you whimper for the very first time, he fucked you in his car, his big hands on your waist as he guided you through your orgasm, hips grinding on his dick until he filled the condom in you, pulling you into a fervent kiss right after, fingers gripping your hair to hold you in place.

He was a passionate kisser and he had grown addicted to have your lips on his. Demeanor changing soon after, he wanted to fill you up with all his love, he spent time staring at your sleeping figure after he had taken you back home, car parked in front of your place, but he had no heart to wake you up, especially when he found you the cutest in your sleepy state. He woke you up with kisses and helped you inside. Your parents loved him for being responsible and caring towards you.

Your nights were more for texting him, face timing him rather than sleeping. He went as far as singing in his deep baritone for you to sleep. He would never admit to it but his voice genuinely sounded pretty, at least to you.

With a few days left for prom, you had spent almost all days together, Mina stealing you for some days, at which he pouted with a sulky face. You could only coo, giving him a kiss on his mouth.

Seeing him staying away from ice skating was painful, even for you, and so you surprised him by taking him there, “Teach me?” you smiled, hugging him when you saw a flicker of emotion on his face. And he did, laughing as you tried to balance yourself, his hands on your waist coming to your rescue from falling down.

“Thank you,” he spoke gently, not caring about the few other people around the rink as he pulled you closer and into a soft kiss, caressing your cheek right after.

“Don't thank me,” you whispered with earnest eyes.

“Happiness looks good on you,” you had smiled before skating away.

And he swore his heart never felt this full before.

A maximum of three days later, he wanted to take you out yet again.

He took you out to the very same amusement park where you had third wheeled with Mina and Yedam. This time, however, he had decided he wanted you alone, not bothering to invite anyone else. That particular day was full of zeal, the air had a light breeze with the sun shining brightly over your head, not the kind to be irritating, but the kind that makes you feel fresh. His fingers intertwined with yours the entire time, he even got you matching headbands with a shy smile and you pinched his cheeks, ear tips red.

You squealed when he kissed you on top the ferris wheel, “Cliché, right?” he had asked after breaking the kiss, forehead pressed against yours.

“You're a dork, I hope you know that,” you had laughed.

“It kills me,” he pouted, dropping you back home, his hand resting on your thigh.

“What does?” you mindlessly asked, eyes fixated on the shaded sky, watching the sun say good bye for the day.

“I won't be able to see you tomorrow,” he whined, and you laughed.

Things had changed, his tough boy exterior always vanished around you, and, well, he wanted to spend every second of his day in your presence.

“It's just a day, Hoonie, I have to have my beauty rest and pampering sessions before the big day, no?” you asked, talking about prom which was to take place overmorrow, “Besides, you can always send in your random memes and text me.”

“Texting isn't enough.”

“Then what is?” you asked, lips turned up as you knew exactly what he had in mind.

“I'll show you.”

Safe to say, you ended up on his lap, his lips not having enough of you as he took his sweet time before letting you leave, texting you as soon as he got back to his room too.

Your to-do list had a myriad of tasks, namely—waxing, getting your hair done, a facial clean-up and some other minute things you had to pick up. Mina was your company for the day, she scrunched up her nose each time you told her about a certain thing you did with Sunghoon, calling it gross with an amused face. You definitely kept the spicy details to yourself, not wanting to traumatise her.

“But I really am glad to see you both happy, and that sounds sappy, and that rhymes—what the fuck?” your best friend rambled on continuously while getting her nails done, the assistant applying the last coat of nail polish on it. Meanwhile, you were done with yours, shaking your head at the series of texts Sunghoon had sent.

“That's gross,” she scrunched up her face at the kissing emojis Sunghoon had sent.

He was a cheesy texter, you admit.

Nevertheless, you felt happy.

Looking back, you would have laughed had someone said that you'll be going to prom with the infamous Park Sunghoon, who just happened to be your best friend's brother.

The reality, however, didn't seem bad to you, in fact, you loved every bit of it. Time passed by slowly, and you wanted nothing more than to be in his arms again but were not allowed to do so.

It was the day, the reason why you had grown close to Sunghoon—your prom day. You probably wouldn't even have been talking to him had he not accepted Mina's offer to be your date. So, you had to thank Mina for her over the top ideas and overexcited state.

And to top your hopeless state, Sunghoon had been teasing you since the morning, sending you arm pics as he flexed his muscles for you to see how ripped he had gotten. You didn't want wetness pooling in your panties with him not around to help you out, so you kept your phone a safe distance away, ignoring the poor boy who ended up shaving to pass his time, scrolling back to read your older texts. The chat history wasn't supposed to be this long considering you had started texting a total of twenty five days back.

“Don't move!” Mina screamed.

“I can't fucking help it!” you said, using the exact tone as her.

“If you move again then your liner will be smudged and then Sunghoon, ew by the way, would run away and then you'll come back to me, crying.”

“That's not how it works.”

Mina had been trying to perfect your liner from the past seven minutes, and your constant squirming didn't assist her well. You weren't sure if it was excitement or anxiety.

“Finally,” she sighed, moving back and you sank into your seat, finding your messed up posture comfortable before drinking water. You opened your eyes after Mina confirmed that your liner was fully dried, looking at your reflection in the mirror.

The lipstick shade complemented to your skin shade well as you smiled, eyes looking estatic in wait of him seeing you like this. And you couldn't help but ponder about how he would look in his black suit, a white button up which would fit his body perfectly—

No. You shook your head, helping yourself to be devoid of any thoughts which could possibly make you needy.

“Get dressed, quick!” she clapped her hands, coming out of the bathroom after she had changed. She wore a light pink, silky, off shoulder dress which reached her knees.

You whistled lowly, “Damn you look hot—”

“—and you should leave before I make-out with you,” she replied in a breath, making you laugh, you followed her instructions nevertheless.

The black dress fit you perfectly, and you wished Sunghoon was here to zip it up for you like the previous time, the very time he had made your legs feel like a jelly, and you could only wonder how his reaction would be while seeing you in all your glory.

“You know what? Maybe we should make-out,” Mina gasped, looking at you up and down, which made you roll your eyes.

“Yeah, Yedam would kill me though,” you played along.

“Who cares about him, I want you,” she purred and you both broke into a fit of giggles just a second later.

“Speaking of the devil, he's here! I'll be leaving first, and Sunghoon is on his way! And uhm, don't forget to keep your lipstick and spare tissues with you, wear the second set of heels instead of the first one, see you!” you wondered how she spoke it all in a breath but you hugged her softly, thanking her for helping you out, to which she slapped your arm.

She practically ran after, shouting good byes to your parents downstairs and you shook your head at her usual antics.

“Oh, y/n, you look beautiful,” your parents said and your sister giggled at your mom's emotional state, seeing her daughter grow into a beautiful woman was something she would never be able to get used to, especially when you're still their little girl.

You hugged them softly, not to mess up your styled hair. Just then, the bell rang and you noticed a camera in Kitty's hands. “Oh no, you won't be embarassing me today—”

“Oh yes, we have to get a picture of his reaction when he sees you, duh! Go and hide!” she shooed you away, asking you to hide near the staircase.

And you obliged, heartbeat racing with the urge to see him, kiss him. That wasn't something you'd do in front of your family, hence, you kicked that thought out of your mind.

“Good evening—” his voice reached your ears and suddenly, your mom started complimenting him, gushing about how handsome he looks, Kitty following the suit while your dad made sure to remind him to take care of you, the usual dad stuff basically.

That's when you took a deep breath, coming out to reveal yourself, your heels clanking against the floor successfully captured his attention.

Your eyes are fixated on his face to memorize his expression. His mouth hung open slightly, eyes raked up and down your body, absorbing every inch of your beauty, breathing hitched and hands clutching a bag and a bouquet of flowers tighter than intended.

A flash of light snapped him out of his daze.

“Awestruck? Perfect for the album!” your sister squealed and you sighed.

Your legs felt weak already with his presence around you, specially when he looked like a guy straight out of your fantasy. Hair combed and parted to the side, suit hugging his figure perfectly, lips plump and soft, a watch adorned his hand with a few rings on his finger. Jaw well defined with a face that was carved by the god himself. Safe to say, you were in a daze too.

Your parents excused themselves, dragging a very pouty Kitty away—who wished to see the whole ordeal as if it were a movie.

“Hey, you—” he walked towards you, stretching his hand to give you a pretty bouquet of baby's breath, remembering how you had once mentioned them in a conversation, saying they look pretty, “—you look stunning,” you wrapped your fingers to accept the flowers, but he only pulled you closer, “And so fucking hot.”

His breath fanned the shell of your ear, “Glad to see you learned how to zip your dress up,” he spoke lowly and you pushed him, shy with his sudden advances.

He found you just as cute as he did when he wiped that chocolate from the corner of your lip. “Hey, c'mere.”

His whisper was soft as he took out a pretty corsage from his bag, securing the tiny flower bouquet as you looked at him with fond eyes, “This is beautiful,” you breathed out, overwhelmed and giddy to have him around you.

“Beautiful flowers for my beautiful girl,” he smiled, placing his fingers under your chin, making you look up at him, “Beautiful, beautiful girl.”

His lips brushed against yours, your nose touching his as he placed a feather light kiss, so delicate that you barely felt it. With that, he stepped back and you whined.

“Can't have your lipstick getting smudged already, can we?” he teased, and you pouted.

“Unfair! You're not getting any kisses tonight then.”

“We'll see, princess.” he said, arm out and you grabbed it, “Shall we?” he asked, voice resembling that of a royalty.

“We shall, prince.” you laughed softly, shouting a good bye to your parents and asking your mom to put the flowers in a jar before leaving for your prom. Finally.

You had started to think that Park Sunghoon had gone absolutely crazy with the amount of teasing he has done in the span of your short drive. It's normal for him to place his hand on your thighs, however, squeezing and inching it up was a new action.

“Hoon,” you had gulped and he only shook his head slowly.

“Shh, baby, I'm trying my hardest not to fuck you here.”

And you've been a mess ever since, his hand rested on your waist while you made your way inside the venue, the decorations were far more grand than you had imagined, whole student body on the dancefloor, jumping and smiling as they moved their bodies with the rhythm, the food section on the other side and tables set for you all to rest and sit down. Your eyes met Mina on the dance floor and she winked at you, while you blew her a kiss, waving towards Yedam.

Sunghoon's hold was tighter as he noticed a some faces glancing your way, you being the object of either desire or envy with your beauty. Pairing that up with Sunghoon being your partner, it was a topic of gossip since no one knew how and when Anna had broken up with him, and since when was he with you. Rumours were sure to spread soon.

However, you weren't bothered, school was over and you had to leave for university soon, waiting for the acceptance letters to come back.

“May I have this dance?” he asked, keeping up his royal agenda for the night.

Your eyes crinkled as you smiled, “You may.”

He led you to the dance floor, hands settling down on your waist as he pulled you flush against his chest, swaying slowly despite the music being fast which elicited a hearty laugh out of you, his own fangs showing in a wide smile.

He spins you towards him so your bodies are pressed against each other, his blazer touching your bare clavicle, hands circling your waist, placing subtle teasing touches here and there.

Your majority of the time was spent while dancing, and of course, Park Sunghoon had to be a good dancer and you were convinced that there was nothing he couldn't do. Except, he didn't kiss you the whole night. He had you on your tippy toes each time he came closer to you, but never once fully pressed his lips against yours as if he was testing your patience.

“I'm gonna get a drink,” you said, sulking away from his figure and he pulled you back.

“Sorry to say, but that drink is a hundred percent spiked,” he let out and you sulked further.

“I'm thirsty!” you whined.

“So am I,” he said, but the desire in his eyes told you that you both were talking about two completely different kind of thirsts.

“You're not getting shit, Park,” you smirked, feeling the need to talk back all of a sudden and he played with a strand of your hair.

“Why is that, kitten?” the new nickname made you gulp down, looking away for a second.

“Figure that out yourself,” you said, walking away and he followed you as you stood at the back with the crowning of prom king and queen taking place, something you didn't have any particular interest in.

“I can make you cum untouched, y'know?” he continued with his comments, which you'd admit, did affect you.

“Shut up, someone will hear!” you gasped out.

“Look, it's the asshole,” Mina came by your side, to which Sunghoon groaned, but looked at where she was pointing.

Anna, the prom queen. It was expected with how hard she had been trying to please everyone the whole year, votes went to her and the smile on her face was too bright for your liking. The king however, was some guy from the football team, Yoshi standing there with a small smile as he watched his girlfriend click pictures with another guy.

You genuinely felt bad for him, a frown on your face.

“I can't believe she came here with Yoshi!” she spoke up, a distasteful expression on her face.

“I know,” you whispered.

Sunghoon looked blank at the scene, not even bothering to look at his ex, when he had you to look at. He knew for certain that the only thing she cared about was her image.

“I'll be staying with Yedam for the night so don't worry about me not getting home,” she told Hoon simply and his eyes widened.

“No funny business or you're dead,” he spoke with serious eyes and you laughed, Mina slapped her forehead and Yedam looked at her for help.

“Have fun!” you winked at her, dragging Sunghoon away—who had a lot to say to Yedam.

The night was going peacefully, you giggling at something Sunghoon was whispered in your ear. You had been blaming him for being a tease all night, while he claimed to have done nothing of that sort.

“Okay, don't blame me because I won't be able to stop,” he said, pulling you closer by nape and kissing you right on your mouth, tongue entering your mouth as you gasped, humming at what you had been craving for the whole night.

You looked at him with a dizzy smile, shy at how easily he took in control and swept you off your feet.

Your smile dropped when you saw Yoshi waving at you, his expression unreadable as Anna excused herself from him, making her way towards where you and Sunghoon stood, a small smile on her face. Some people halted to see the interaction between the exes, you standing there with your hands in his, squeezing it gently to reassure him.

“Hey! Y/n, was it?” she smiled, too sweet for it to be real.

“Hey, Anna,” you forced a smile of your own.

Her eyes went down to see your fingers intertwined with his, a muscle in her jaw twitching.

“Hoonie,” she breathed out, eyes softening.

And you cringed at the name, despite it being the one everyone used for him. It didn't sound pleasant coming out of her mouth. Especially when you knew what she did to him.

“Anna,” his reply was short and nod curt, he turned towards you, not planning to drag the unnecessary conversation any longer.

“Didn't peg you to be the kind to have hots for your sister's friend,” she spoke quickly, grabbing his attention back again and Hoon was just as fast to reply, reporting before you could say anything.

“Yeah? Exactly like how I didn't peg you to be a fucking cheater.”

His voice being loud enough for a few people to hear, then he dropped his tone with a smirk, “Bet your little boyfriend doesn't know that yet.”

Her expression was that of a horrified one, and you only smiled at her, the same sickening sweet one which she gave you a minute back.

With that, you and Sunghoon left hand in hand, you dragging him out to get some fresh air. The night sky was pretty, sun had set and the breeze was soothingly cool. Leaning against the brink wall outside, he let out a laugh, a genuine laugh.

“I can't believe I said that.”

“I mean, she deserved it.”

You smiled, seeing him answer her fearlessly, unlike how he had been the other day, scared and insecure.

“I do not know how but, you give me confidence,” he breathed out, eyes shining under the moonlight, “And—”

He cupped your cheeks, “—I like you so much, I cannot stop smiling when I look at you.”

His confession made your heart skip a beat and you searched his eyes for any hint of joke or humour. You didn't find any.

“I—I like you more than I like anyone else, Sunghoon,” you spoke up, both your eyes teary at the scene.

And you meant it whole heartedly.

“Let's get out of here.”

You nodded, running as best as you could muster in your heels to get in the car with him. Excitement coursed through his body, he was estatic at your revelation, thinking that you'd reject him by calling him just a fling. However, seeing that wasn't the case made him smile uncontrollably, he had to bite on his lip to prevent it from showing on his face.

“Hey,” he whispered, turning your way to buckle your seatbelt up, nose brushing against yours as you shyly mumbled a hey back, which lead him to swoon over your cute demeanor, rewarding you with a sweet kiss on your lips, his own lips were covered in your lipstick, making him look prettier than you could have imagined.

You wondered how fun it would be to do his makeup if he allowed you to. Different scenarios filling up your mind as you thought of endless possibilities of your future, not bothering to think about leaving for college just yet.

It didn't take him long to drive you back to his place with how needy he was, pulling you inside his room and closing the door right after, pinning you against the door and holding your waist up, his lips on yours in a slow and sensual kiss, his tongue exploring your mouth.

He gently placed you on the bed, his lips never leaving yours as he supported his weight on his arms above you.

“Princess,” his voice was breathy and you felt dazed.

You leaned in to kiss him again but he pulled back with a smirk, “Seems like you're enjoying this a little too much.”

It made you whine, trying to pull him closer and he only pulled back further.

“Sunghoon, don't tease me!” you pouted.

“Are you asking or begging?” his voice came out deep.

“—Please?” you tried begging with the softest eyes you could muster.

Even his simple words were enough for you to submit to him, his body commanding your every move.

“Such a good girl,” he pulled you in a fervent kiss before dipping to whisper, “My good girl.”

You had always loved praises of all kinds, but never expected to get aroused hearing something so simple.

“Come on,” he pulled you up, easily turning you around, “I love this dress on you,” his lips touched your shoulder blade, “But I think we don't need it right now.”

He wasted no time in zipping down your dress, his fingers trailing on your spine, while leaving you bare in just your panties. He followed the suit, getting rid of his blazer and he almost lost his mind when you helped him unbutton his white shirt, groaning as your fingers touched his body, caressing his faint abs before you squeezed his cock which looked painfully hard under his pants.

He pushed you on the bed yet again, getting rid of his pants as well to show you how much he wants you.

“Hoon—” you shivered as he parted your legs, practically tearing your underwear away.

“So fucking pretty, I need to mark you up. Fuck, I can't wait to have my cock in your tight pussy, can't wait to fuck my pretty girl.”

Your back arched into him as he used his tongue flat on your clit, your fingers gripping his hair to keep him in place, “Hoon, y—you feel so good!” your voice was like a melody to his ears. You only bucked your hips up his face to get more of him.

He came up to kiss you, making you taste yourself on his tongue as you moaned in his mouth. True to his words, he sucked and licked on your clavicle, leaving it sore, sure to turn into a reddish purple colour by tomorrow.

His thumb rubbed against your clit harshly, and your soft moans drove him crazy, he wanted to take his time with you.

“Please fill me up, I want you,” you whispered as he pressed his tip on your slit, rubbing it slightly to coat his tip with your arousal, “Lord, I like you so much! I want you so much—” you gasped as he silenced you with a kiss, carefully pressing himself into you, filling you to the brim.

He pulls out slowly before pushing himself back in, continuing his ministrations as you held on to his shoulders, gripping them hard while his name rolled off your tongue in the perfect manner.

It's intimate, slow and he can't focus on anything else but your face, mouth slightly open, eyes closing with pleasure and lips swollen with how hard he had kissed you earlier.

He intertwines his fingers with yours, resting them on the expanse of the bed, a few more thrusts made you hum.

“You're beautiful,” he spoke up, stopping to stare at your state yet again, “So very beautiful, can't get enough of you.”

His words made you shy, his thumb stroking the curve of your lips as he looked at you with admiration, wanting to be closer than you more than ever.

The touch wasn't enough, you craved more, you begged for more.

“I can't hold it anymore,” he spoke up, thrusting in again as your warm walls welcomed him. You could see his cock disappearing inside your hole.

“I'm gonna cum, Hoon!” you admitted out loud as well.

“Go ahead baby, I got you,” at that very moment, you let go and arch your back with your arousal coursing down your body, his own length twitching inside you.

However, you stopped him before he could pull out, “Fill me up please, want to filled up with your cum,” you requested, making you mention that you're on your pill to him yet again and, with an offer so tempting, he couldn't say no.

He was filling you up after a few more thrusts, resting his face in the crook of your neck, his breath fanned your skin as you closed your eyes, tiredness seeping into your body with how hectic your day had been.

Most importantly, you felt loved throughout it all, Sunghoon gave you his undivided attention at all times, you had grown so used to being around him, being without him felt like torture.

“Tired?” he asked, settling down next to you.

“Mhm,” you nodded, snuggling closer to him as he kissed the tip of your nose.

“Let's get you ready for bed, yeah?” he said softly, helping you clean your makeup as he stood between your legs, placing you on the sink counter.

He smiled at your sleepy state, being gentle with you.

He held you for the night, “I like you,” he said softly.

“I like you too,” you giggled as he rubbed his nose against yours before spooning with you.

And you drifted to the dreamland peacefully. It was a prom to remember, and even while sleeping, Sunghoon was only person who serenaded your mind.

Your sleep was disturbed by your loud ringtone. Groaning, you woke up and checked to see the caller—your mom. You groggily answered the call.

“Mum?” you asked.

She replied hurriedly, calling you home that very instant. Your eyes widened and you rushed to gather your clothes, waking up Sunghoon in the process.

“What's wrong?” he asked, eyes adjusting to the light.

“Home. Now.”

The room was silent, everyone staring at your figure while you shut your eyes, palms pressed together in a deep prayer before you breathed out, gulping down the anxiety building up in your stomach.

You nodded, wetting your lower lip before grabbing the envelope in front of you, tearing it open in the most gentle manner, agonizingly slow. All eyes were on your face as your eyes read through what was printed on the paper.

You had to bite your lip to stop it from quivering as you lowered your sheet, opening and closing your mouth.

“Decelis University, Seoul—” your voice was barely a whisper before it got louder, “—I got accepted.”

Your revelation led to rounds of screaming and suddenly, you were pulled into a group hug with everyone congratulating you sporting the most genuine smiles on their faces. Giggles left your mouth with everything going on, you called Mina, telling her and she started crying on the call, “Fuck I'm so proud of you y/n,” she sniffled.

Decelis University was your dream university, the one you'd so dearly wished to get into. You had submitted the forms for both, Seoul and the Busan branch, the prior being your topmost priority and you were overwhelmed to say the least.

“Hey,” Sunghoon was by your side just as he saw your sudden change in expression, “What's wrong?” he asked, concerned.

“Nothing,” you shook your head, plastering a fake smile on your face.

He didn't buy it, however, he didn't push you to tell him and only ended up talking about it again while you both sat down at the nearby park, watching the sunset. Your happiness had a hint of sadness to it, he could sense it.

“Are you happy?” he asked simply.

The question caught you off guard, “Yeah! Yeah, of course I am.”

“Princess,” he sighed, “You've been frowning the whole time.”

You winced, wondering if your feelings were that evident on your face. Head in your hands, you tried to gather your thoughts to formulate some sort of excuse.

Instead, you were pulled into a hug, Sunghoon's hand softly caressing your hair, “You don't have to say anything, okay? Just tell me this is temporary and you'll be okay soon after.”

You snuggled closer to him, “I'm just—worried.”

“Hm? What's it, baby?”

“This is gonna stop really stupid,” you laughed a little before pulling back and answering. “I don't know what we are, Sunghoon. You'll go back to Busan for your uni and I'll be shifting to Seoul soon. The thought of being far from you after this month—It doesn't settle well with me.”

You hid behind your hands again, which he grabbed to kiss your nose softly, “You've been worried about this the whole time?” he asked slowly, a sad smile on his face.

He couldn't lie, he thought about it more times than just once. Deep inside, his insecurity had screamed about how he should hold you back, just for the sake of him. You're basically starting a new life in Seoul, and he doesn't wish to be an object of hindrance in your way. It was awfully eerie how you both had the same thought running in your mind. You didn't wish to stop Sunghoon either, always thinking how he could find someone better than you.

You knew that overthinking would be your downfall.

“And, you're leaving soon too.” your words were strained.

“I don't want to,” he admitted.

“But you have to, and so do I,” you couldn't look him in the eye anymore.

The one thing you couldn't handle was the distance—once grown, it was sure to end up drifting away even far with the limitations in interactions.

“Then, let's just make the most of it, hm?”

You couldn't do anything else but nod, trying to calm your heart which was a fraction away from breaking. Again.

He held you the entire time you needed to be okay. But you wondered how you'll be okay after he actually leaves.

“Will you be there tomorrow?” you asked in a low voice.

“I wouldn't dare miss your graduation,” he promised.

True to his word, you found him sitting at the back with your and his own family as you and Mina waved at them excitedly. It was something you had grown accustomed to, mustering up a smile even when you felt empty inside. The expression worked wonders on others.

The ceremony went smoothly, genuinely making you feel content with everything. You hugged Sunghoon when he practically sang out congratulations for you, not caring about the others around you. Your parents were happy at the sight of you and Sunghoon, almost as if they were ready to give their blessings and get you married already, your mother not so discreetly talking about the same while Mina and Yedam laughed at their excitement.

It was another one of those days where the weather wasn't too hot or too cold. He took you out for ice cream right after, making sure to go to the exact shop where you went after your little impromptu movie date, soon going to little arcade nearby where you won all the games, while he sulked around for losing. Maybe he wasn't an all rounder after all.

A month was over and the only question lingering on your mind was—when was Sunghoon going to go back.

Although that was the very thing you didn't wish to ponder upon, however, he told you exactly that before dropping you off at home, in the silence of his car.

“I'm leaving tomorrow.”

You didn't look at him, staring at your lap instead. Facing such situations wasn't your strong suit.

“I—” your tears didn't let you finish your sentence, you rushed to go back inside your place, which was empty since your parents and sister had gone out to your aunt's place for the night.

Sunghoon called out your name with desperacy, following you inside without second thoughts.

“Listen to me just once, please!” his voice came out strained.

“I don't want this,” you spoke up, a tear trailing down your cheek and you wished you to have been less attached. “I can't lose you.”

He pulled you closer until you were crying on his shoulder, his own lip trembling with guilt. He never thought he'd get so attached to you, but how could he not? Especially when you looked at him with those eyes, the same eyes he fell in love with in the span of a month.

“Let me make it up to you, please.”

It was his desperacy that spoke up, he wished to make love to you, to hold you for one last time, not knowing what the future held for you both.

“Make love to me, Sunghoon,” your voice was broken but he obliged.

It was slow how he undressed you, memorizing every inch of your body, placing kisses whenever he could just to hear your gasp. The silence was loud, the only sound in the room was due to your activites.

Sunghoon couldn't help but look into your eyes the entire time he was inside you, thrusting gently as he hit all your good spots, blinding you with his essence.

It was gentle, he was so sweet, whispering the words of affirmation in your ear, calling you his girl, his pretty girl. He couldn't stop himself from placing his lips on yours every minute, wishing to be closer to you. Your body quivered, arms wrapped around his neck as you reached your euphoria with him, muttering curses with the heightened sensation.

He kissed your tears away, placing feather light kisses all over your face.

You had grown to love him.

He never wished to leave you.

His arms tightened around your body as he held you to sleep, scared that you'll disappear when he wakes up.

You simply showered him with love, caressing his cheeks as you saw him sleep in your arms, clinging onto you like a koala, the sight was so endearing, it lead you to a peaceful sleep soon after.

Waking up in his arms felt more painful than ever, the pain only escalating when you followed him to the airport, Yedam driving you there as Mina sat shotgun. Sunghoon was clad in all black, just like the day he had came back. He simply hugged his sister, teasing her about something only he knew about. Next up, he warned Yedam to be on his behaviour with his sister, to which he nodded with earnest eyes.

That left you to be the last one to say good bye to him. There was so much you wanted to say to him, so much you wished you could have done with him. Heck, you'd do anything to take him out for ice skating just one more time.

“H—hoon,” you didn't wish to cry, not like this. Even your friend was frowning at your fragile state, however, there was no one to blame for this.

“Shh,” he pulled you in a tight hug, his own emotions getting the best of him.

Your heart twisted as you looked him in the eye, face contorted, lingering sadness in his deep brown eyes. The words were strangled in your throat as you tried to speak up.

“I—”

“I know.” His words were soft before he took your hands, placing soft kisses on your knuckles, “I do too,” he said, reaching to cup your face, pressing one last kiss on your lips, letting it linger for a few seconds before he pulled away, giving you the smallest smile as he made his way inside the airport, not forgetting to get one last look at your sad figure as he finally left for Busan.

That very moment, you realized that falling in love was easy but getting over it was hard. It hadn't even been five minutes and Sunghoon had texted you already. However, you could only cry silent tears of conflict your feelings faced, Mina held you the entire time, saying sorry for absolutely no reason, somehow blaming herself for being the one who started the story of you and Hoon. You didn't regret it, being with Sunghoon was a dream, a dream that ended in the little time of a month.

You texted, called and did all you could to keep your bonds strong, not putting a label on your relationship, however, you drifted as the time passed by. With you moving to Seoul and him working hard towards achieving a better grade, you lost contact. Your fingers itched to call him, but you couldn't muster enough courage to do so, not knowing that he faced the same dispute.

Insecurity won in the end.

It was like a replay all over again and you swore to not let anyone get close to you now that you were in your new setting.

Seoul was a beautiful city, a busy one which kept you on your toes, your schedule different from your usual one and you indulged yourself in working hard to maintain your gpa.

Yet the little voice at the back of your head made sure to remind you of a certain guy who called you princess.

And just like you had done before, you decided to write him a letter.

The one which will stay in your safe box for the entirety of its life.

Dear Park Sunghoon,

It was a cold winter day when I had first met you at the bus stop. The air was freezing with no seats left on the bus except for one. You opted to stand instead of taking the seat, offering it to me despite being a stranger. Perhaps that was the very day I had grown to like you, the small moles scattered all over your face only added to your beauty.

I never thought I'd run into you again. I certainly hoped I did because the way you looked back, giving me a small wave before getting off the bus was enough of a reason for my brain to imprint your face in my memory.

But I saw you again once I befriended Mina, the little smile on your face told me that you, indeed, remembered me.

Even with our little interactions over the years, I had grown to like you, to like how sweet you were, how selfless you were when you offered to get food for us in the seventh grade, when your mom wasn't around. I was sure you never saw me as more than just your sister's best friend, and I was content with it.

However, this time you came back like a cold breeze, bringing comfort to my existence on a hot summery day, lingering for a while until it was hot all over again.

I thought you had changed with your changed demeanor and black leather jacket. But I was wrong, you were the same guy I met in the bus all those years back. You drove me around without complaining a bit, you even agreed on accompanying me to the prom when you could have easily said no.

You teased me like it was your business, you kissed me like you meant it. You swept me off my feet, Park Sunghoon, and I landed straight in the comfort of your strong arms.

Our time together was short-lived, but it didn't stop me from falling in love with you.

You were so perfect, holding me close, giving me the warmth I had always craved. You let me in, let me explore the beauty of you and I don't think I'll get over the magic that you hold in your eyes.

I found it to be the most adorable thing when you hugged me like a baby, being scared of the ghost in the movie. That very day, you kissed me for the first time and I broke all my walls to let you in.

Seeing you skate was a sight for sore eyes. The way you carry yourself is no less than a royalty. Mayhaps that is why I ended up falling deeper for you.

We found solace in each other, you helped me overcome my past while you mentioned how my presence helped you with the same.

But you never taught me how to overcome this overflowing love I have for you.

It's been months since I last saw you, and not a day has passed by when I didn't wonder about this.

Did we give up too easily?

Could we have worked out despite the cruel distance?

I'm not certain as to what will happen the next time we meet, if we ever meet. But it is certain that you will always have a special place in my heart. I'm writing this letter in order to come to terms with my own feelings, but I'll always wonder about this one thing, Sunghoon.

Did it hurt you as much as it hurt me?

Love,

The girl you took to prom.

THANK YOU FOR READING! <3

PERMANENT TAGLIST 1:

@en-cityzen @sunghoonsworld @softforqiankun @eunoia-kth @lix-freckle3 @woniebae @baekhyunstruly @sungniverse @criceofpain @starryjakey @wntrsgf @heelariously @liliansun @hoonstrology @abdiitcryy @w3bqrl @9900z @so-jays @cha-raena @faethefairy @seo-thicc-bin @lilacboba @fallinforgyu @jayegalaxy @violevantae @ivyvesisi @sunshine-skz @nicksszzz @candidupped @celestialsjy @enhydiaries @woniecf @ultenha @dreamyenskz @keixeds @j5aker @donghoonie-3 @jkmonica @neocityhoe @zhaixiaowen @seuomo @hwhjsthetic @jngsngie @jjhmk @duolingofanaccount @bunhoons @yunskies @aminatalks @nyfwyeonjun @goodforgyu @enhacolor @cyuuupid @luvyun @sunghoonight-x @bambisgirl @taekbokki @3ggieyolk

bold ones couldn't be tagged! permanent taglist open!

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Woahhhh bf🤤🤤🤤🤤🤤

BEOMGYU / THURSDAY’S CHILD / MESS CONCEPT CLIP

ivenvr read smaus befor THIS PIQUED MYINTERESTEHWJAJEHWHHE the endinf omg🙁🙁🙁🙁 THE LETTER🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁 SOBBINF to the max🙁🙁🙁🙁🙁

— RECALL 𐀔 MASTERLIST

PAIRING. ex-student president/bad boy! jungwon x fem! reader

SYNOPSIS. after spending months suffering from amnesia in the hospital due to an “accident,” you return back to your normal school life where your close friends who you remember stick by your side 24/7. Unexpectedly, you cross paths with ex-student council president yang jungwon, who you failed to remember but feel oddly drawn to. however, after the meeting things start to get odd and you slowly begin piecing together the mystery behind your accident.

GENRE. social media au, high school au, angst, fluff if you squint, crack, ex-friends to lovers(?), betrayal

WARNINGS. mentions of traumatic events, mentions of amnesia, swearing, tba.

FEATURING. enhypen, p1h’s intak, ive’s wonyoung & rei, itzy’s yuna, treasure’s jeongwoo

STATUS. COMPLETED (Feb 9th - April 16th)

NOW PLAYINGS. GHOST by Justin Bieber

NOTES.

⁺ please note that these are NOT the actual representations of the idols.

⁺ ages of the members are adjusted for convenience.

⁺ yes jungwon was the winner🏆sorry for all the hoon stans who wanted his smau, I promise I’ll get to that too! This series will officially start after “prove it” is completed

PROFILES.

1 | MEMORY REPLENISHERS

2 | SCHOOL? WHAT’S THAT?

3 | STUDENT COUNCIL

CHAPTERS.

01 / gasoline situation

02 / I’ll push you off a cliff

03 / keep your mouth shut

04 / coming for your head

05 / right? (written)

06 / a letter?

07 / a lil rendezvous

08 / the principal’s office

09 / you disgust me

10 / more than grateful

11 / newfound fear

12 / useless

13 / obsessed

14 / practically begged

15 / make it clear

16 / “our spot”

17 / on thin ice

18 / I’m done for

19 / be careful

20 / a pure bonding (written)

21 / the key

22 / memory one (written)

23 / Robert Pattinson simp?!

24 / rigged election?

25 / wait a second

26 / now that’s fucking low

27 / tame yn? where did she go?

28 / memory two: the record (written)

29 / dumpster socks

30 / hello Mrs. Yang

31 / the fake blond

32 / yang jungwon, you know better

33 / you need to see this

34 / realization (written)

35 / you’re fucking selfish yang jungwon

36 / please just let it all go away

37 / bloodshot eyes

38 / did he not tell you?

39 / In another life, I would make you stay

40 / the one that got away

EPILOGUE

TAGLIST (TAGLIST 3 OPEN)

@moonsclover @berriniki @luvrjn @fiantomartell @shoftiiel @sthinqsz @acciomylove @abdiitcryy @ielaa @baekswoons @sunshinehanjisung @candidupped @missmadwoman @ja4hyvn @yangrden @liliansun @hutao-s @httpheeseung @todorokiskitten @primorange @uanel @babygay-stay @woniecf @yourlocalhotgf @ddeonubaby @luv3iza @mykalon @soobin-chois @pshwyfie @jjun4thitboy @yenart @solitxre @enhacolor @i43wons @hobistigma @yooo-gurt @iv-en @haechanhues @heesplanet @mika-monalisa @ielaa @alo-ehas @kyleeanne @wonvelvet @blank-velvet @stealanity @rrvvby @jakesim-p @chirokookie @mochisnlix

Okau goodnight.

I lav the silly little fanficstho they always gor me🤤

Instead i go on to this silly littleapp and read silly little fanfics

i wish i ws thos girlies that write letters baout their little crushy crush and giggle and squeal and liek yeah. IW NT TO WIRTE LOVE LETTERS🤣🤣🤣🤣👎

hi guysw j wish that i had a little crushy cruhs life is so boring rn its sthe same everyday and its not fun🙁🙁🙁🙁

Hi guys i j finsihed a fix i feel so EMO. Sad and emotiokal and emo just so emo rn inwish that i wasnt emo rn

I love jang wonyoung

omg i lovwww this I LOVE HOW THE SEASONA ARE CONNECTED W THE STORY AAHHHHH

IN APRIL — P. SH

synopsis: you absolutely hate the month of april because it reminds you of your ex boyfriend who ghosted you three years ago. three years later where the month of spring is soon to return, you meet him again— this time, as the manager of his basketball team he’s a captain for.

pairing: park sunghoon x fem!reader

word count: 18k (est. 15k?? yeah about that…something happened to me)

genre: university!au, exes to lovers, basketball!au, angst, fluff

warnings: profanity, mention of insecurities, bruises, a lot of tears, sunghoon faints at one point. a lot of flashbacks and just two very stubborn people.

featuring: the whole of enhypen, yeonjun of txt

listen to the playlist here

note: it is finally here MY FIRST EVER LONG FIC! this will be my 900 follower gift to everyone! thank you so much for supporting me and my writings <33 all the kind words, likes, reblogs and feedbacks mean a lot to me!! this is my first enhypen piece and hopefully to many more!! i need to thank my bff jel for helping me with the bball knowledge to prevent me from embarrassment, also to may and dori for beta reading this !!!! please do enjoy my first over 3k fic HELP i wouldn’t say it’s the best out of all the writings that i’ve done but there is always room for more improvement in the future! enjoy sunghoon’s hyuga junpei era (according to jel) featuring jungwon’s kuroko testuya moment <3

 + TAGLIST FORM

They say Spring is the season of romantic flings, picnics along the river, cherry blossoms petals in the air and flowers decorating the park.

They even say Spring is the season of new beginnings, like flowers— fresh buds bloom, every living thing comes back to life and the once cold air becomes warmer and warmer. To others, it may sound idyllic. But to you, you absolutely hated Spring.

Every year when Spring comes, you wish it would just go by in a flash. Once March ends and the new month of April adorns your calendar your mood turns sour and you curse every little perk of Spring you come across.

You never thought you could hate something this much—nevertheless, a damn season of all things. But every year it comes by, you’re reminded of all the terrible things Spring (or April) has done to you.

This has been ongoing for almost three years now, to the point that you didn’t remember what you thought of Spring before you began your beef with the season. You thought that maybe it wasn’t the season that you’re having conflict with, but more so the month that Spring is associated with.

April, that’s right.

Along with Spring, you hated April which kind of goes hand in hand with Spring— so it makes sense that you wouldn’t enjoy the particular month. To weigh out your fonder memories in April to memories you wish to forget, the latter is a lot heavier. You think that April is your unlucky month, which is why you just want to sleep it away until May but you could never really do that can you? So you dread every single day, just hoping each day doesn’t add on to the amount of terrible things that happens to you in this very month.

And there is a reason for your immense hatred for those two in particular. It reminds you of Park Sunghoon, your ex boyfriend to be exact. The boy who ghosted you three years ago, in April, which so happens to be the season of Spring. It also happens to be the month that he confesses to you, which makes you fume even more because back then you always hoped for April to arrive so you could celebrate your years anniversaries with him, but now it just reminds you of your heartbreak.

It disgusts you that a mere ex boyfriend could have this much of an affect on you. And you thought that you would move on after the whole thing, but the fact that he left you without saying a word to you, frustrates you to the core. Three years is a long time, and he has not contacted you once. And all you wanted was a reason, some closure even, to your break up with him.

And in the same month, you find out from someone else that he received an offer in a different school in Seoul. Which baffles you because why couldn’t he tell you; his current girlfriend at the time? It wasn’t a shameful thing to pursue dreams in the capital city, and isn’t it normal to at least— consult your significant other?

Either way, you wish April never came. But you can’t always have what you wish for.

Keep reading

oh

☆