Istg I Counted The Days Until Chapter 7😭

Istg I counted the days until chapter 7😭

Reminiscence

Part Seven

Read previous chapter here

Obi Wan Kenobi x Fem!Reader

Summary: With the arrival of the Empire after they tracked you from Batuu, you and Obi-Wan fight to get everyone to safety before your long lost friend wreaks havoc on the outpost.

Word count: 3.8k

Warnings: canon typical violence, fluff, death (no major characters), lil bit of evil behavior from the empire

A/N: I am so sorry it took me so long to get back to this series, I missed it so much!! I hope you guys enjoy <3

Reminiscence
Reminiscence

The rays of the sun above glowed warm against your skin as you joined Master Kenobi outside on the steps of the Jedi Temple. It felt good to breathe the outside air, it's only too bad that the air you smelled was some of the galaxy's most polluted. It was your first week with him, and things were going okay, but you couldn't help but feel the relentless tension pulling at you both every time you were near him. It must be just the discomfort of something new, you thought.

"Ah, there he is" Obi Wan spoke up, referencing the tall, young Jedi that walked toward you both. His black robes set him apart from the way the others presented themselves, and his hair fell to his shoulders, wavy and slightly unkempt.

“Y/N I’d like you to meet Anakin” Your new Master introduced you to his other padawan. Anakin had already taken on his own padawan, due to how advanced his skills were, and the fact that a new wave of younglings had thrown off the balance of masters and apprentices.

“Nice to meet you” You smiled warmly at him.

“You as well. I hear you’ll be training under Master Kenobi now” He stated, more to make conversation rather than actual wonder. Master Kenobi had already told him about you.

“Yes, I was reassigned from Master Ti” You clarified. You tried not to hold any embarrassment for being a ‘late bloomer’, but sometimes it was hard to hide.

“I see, well, it will be good to have someone else around to keep Obi Wan busy” Anakin laughed, his childlike humor coming out in conversation.  You giggled in response.

“Yes, because you don’t keep me busy enough with your antics” Obi Wan rolled his eyes sarcastically.

"I try" Anakin smirked.

The banter made you feel more welcome in their circle. It could be uncomfortable, being a new padawan in such a tightly knit group of Jedi, but Anakin's humor calmed your racking nerves during the first few days.

“Ah yes, and now there are two of you to question my teachings” Obi Wan laughed, his hand falling to rest on your lower back. He almost pulled it away, and you felt his uncertainty, but you embraced the feeling nonetheless. It was innocent, of course, at least that's what you'd both convince yourselves was the case.

"What system are you from?"

"Oh, um, Outer Rim. Jelucan" You cleared your throat. Jelucan was not known for tourism or visitors, especially considering how far away it was from all the major systems.

"Jelucan. I think I may have visited there before" Anakin pondered. Maybe he had, but you would've remembered seeing a Jedi if he had come anywhere near your village.

"It's very mountainous, but beautiful. Its been my home for my entire life. Until now, of course"

"We should visit it soon, I'd love to see it" Anakin suggested. You knew that was not a good idea. It was already challenging trying to detach yourself from your old life, but visiting would make that even harder. Most younglings or padawans don't struggle with this, because their training starts very young and they don't remember much from wh.

"Anakin" Master Kenobi scolded, reminding him to be mindful of his tendency to get attached.

"She's 18, Obi Wan, she spent all those years with her family and you really think she won't want to go and visit them?" Anakin scoffed, his tone growing annoyed very quickly. It was unsettling, at first, but you had to remind yourself how long these two had known each other.

"Let's go, Y/N" Obi Wan guided you, his hand still rested against the curve of your back, barely evident through the thick of your robes, but enough to give you butterflies.

You understood his concern, and he had every right to scold Anakin for his suggestion, but remembering the fact that you may never see your family again did put a sharp ache in your heart.

"I am sorry for him" Master Kenobi shook his head as he looked down to his feet while you descended the stairs together.

"Master Kenobi, its no problem" You assured him.

"I feel he is my responsibility. Especially when he is wrong. He loses sight of what's right sometimes, and I feel...I feel like I failed somewhere" He sounded so shameful and so vulnerable. You felt for him, "I'm sorry, I shouldn't be telling you this".

"You cannot blame yourself, Master Kenobi. People have their own personalities and intentions regardless of who had any influence of their upbringing" You began, trying to make him feel better, "My sister came from the same loving parents that I did, but hated them, disowned us, left home at 16, and told us she'd never see us again. But there I was not too long ago, wondering if leaving my parents, the kindest people I've ever known, was the right decision".

"They are proud of you, Y/N. As am I," Obi Wan stopped with you at the foot of the stairs, making sure to make eye contact with you, so his sincerity was felt at its full capacity.

"I don't feel that I have had the chance to prove myself for you yet Master, but thank you" You smiled.

"I am proud of your resilience. It is so rare to start training this late in life, and it's not typically acknowledged how hard it is to part ways with the life you've always known when you're already an adult" He placed his gentle hand upon your shoulder. It warmed you, deep in your heart, to hear him say such kind words to you.

Reminiscence

There was no time to ask why or how that tracker ended up in the backpack. There was no time for anything.

The Empire found you and Obi Wan, Darth Vader’s most wanted fugitives, and you had a sinking feeling in your gut you couldn’t run from this. Not this time.

The sanded ground beneath you shook violently, accompanied by a loud wave of crashing. They were blowing their way into the base.

You turned to look at Obi Wan, and caught the sight of a frightened, traumatized man. A man who’d do anything he could to protect you, but feared his ability to do so was stretched thin.

“He’s here” He whispered painfully.

“Who?” You asked timidly.

He hesitated, as if any amount of time taken to think about this would’ve helped him fully process that he was really alive, “Anakin”.

The air was sucked from your lungs. It wasn’t that you’d forgotten such a shocking revelation, but you’d certainly tried to push it from the forefront of your mind as the reality of it settled in. In all the panic of the blaring alarms and fearing for your life, you hadn’t even considered that it was he who had tracked you down.

Obi Wan sensed it, as the force still bound them together, and without a doubt, knew he was near. Anakin didn’t send just his troops or inquisitors to come and find you, he came to get you both himself, and it sent a chill down your spine. Remembering the power and skill in the force that Anakin wielded even back when you were Jedi together, you shivered to anticipate how the dark side had only strengthened his power more.

“Obi Wan” You called to him, trying to get his attention.

Instead of saying a word to you, he rushed to you, and passionately pressed his keeps hard against yours, his body language telling you all you needed to know
he was scared, and so were you.

He held the kiss for as long as he could, never wanting to part his mouth from yours when there was even the slightest chance you never would again.

Obi Wan grabbed only his lightsaber while you grabbed the backpack. Turning the corner as you left your room, it was clear that chaos was already ensuing. The ceiling of this particular landing pad that opened to allow ships in was obliterated, shrapnel and debris scattered the ground below. The other refugees and volunteers of this outpost were already armed, awaiting the forced landing of stormtroopers.

“Stay behind me, Y/N” He instructed, his arm creating a barrier around you as you hovered closely behind him.

“We need to go” You pleaded.

“We’re not leaving these people to fend for themselves” he stated firmly, turning behind to look at you, “The Empire is here because of us. It’s our fault they’ve come to Jambiim”

“I know. You’re right” You admitted. It was selfish to want to flee, you knew it was, but you knew this wouldn’t end well for either of you.

Cal and Cere were already standing in a ready position, guarding those who were more vulnerable and more scared. With time fighting against you, Obi Wan turned around and gripped your shoulders, holding your gaze as if he may never have it again.

“If we are taken, I will find you” He assured you.

“And if we’re killed?” Your voice cracked as your eyes welled with tears.

“He won’t” Obi Wan quickly responded. He couldn’t know that. Anakin wasn’t Anakin anymore.

“Obi Wa-” You sighed at his delusion

“Hush now, we don’t have time. You are strong, and we will be fine” He assured you, before pushing you back behind him as you moved into the landing port.

“I love you” Your lip quivered as you said it.

“I love you my dear” He smiled softly before planting one last peck on your lips.

“Cal, get these people out of here” Cere yelled across the caves.

“Y/N, there’s a corridor around the back way. It leads to a civilian transport ship. We are getting the others out of here. Please, come with-” Cere begged, her trembling hands gripping yours tight.

“No, this is personal. This is our fault. We will try and hold them off” You began, "Please. Don't wait for us". Cere stared at you in disbelief and deep conflict within herself as to whether she wanted to take that as an answer. She gave up on her internal fight quickly, knowing that time was of the essence now.

Quickly she threw her arms around you, pulling you into her, “May the force be with you, my friend”, you hugged her back and nodded to her and Cal as they corralled the rest of the people who were not able to fight out the back, and onto safety. Those that stayed prepared for what was about to come.

The moments that followed were truly the ultimate test of how well your training had stuck with you all these years. Somehow, you were managing, dodging blaster fire and melee combat from the sea of stormtroopers that spilled from that previously sealed door to the landing pad they’d landed their ship on. You wished you’d had your lightsaber, but that was lost so long ago, all you had were your hands, your stealth, and the blaster given to you only moments before you were invaded.

Obi Wan stayed close, careful to defend himself, the innocent refugees, and most importantly to him, you. You were in awe of his ability to stay so focused. The lingering dread in his heart could be felt by you, and probably every force user in the outpost. They wouldn’t know why, only that it was a frightening situation. They wouldn’t know that Obi Wan feared looking in the face of the man he thinks he failed.

After some time, you were fully convinced that the army of troopers would never end. It felt like a constant loop playing in your head

Then, time slowed to a screeching halt as an ominous, black pair of boots peeked through the visibility of the ship ramp. You forgot to breathe, anticipating Anakin’s arrival, but instead, unmasked feminine features came to view. Only a split second of slight relief was felt before absolute sorrow overcame you.

Reva


But, how?

You could never forget her face. You were children together. She was a few years younger than you, but with your late start in training in the force, often you’d be in training together. She was kind, determined, and above all else, she was a leader. But no
she was dead. You saw her lay slain in the halls of the temple that horrid night. How is she alive? How did she end up here?

But, she’s here, she’s angry, and she’s just caught your gaze.

“You” She scoffed, pointing right to where you stood. 

“Reva
what
how are you alive?” You called across to her, the weakness of disbelief riddling your tone.

“I don’t know what you mean, Y/N” Reva smirked, raising her arms in sarcastic denial. She must’ve only been unconscious when you escaped the temple, that had to be the only explanation.

“Why are you doing this? Why have you joined them?” You cried. You felt betrayed, somehow taking her decision personally.

“Let’s just say
it’s for the greater good” She held her sadistic smirk.

In all your shock, disbelief, and denial, you didn’t even notice the stormtrooper that charged you from behind, knocking you to the ground. You countered him quickly, disarming him and taking his life with the very blaster he’d just held in his hand. Killing someone, even the enemy, never felt right. And it never would. What felt worse, is the possibility that some of these troopers may have been clones. That was a thought that you had to continuously push from your mind.

Reva had focused in on Obi Wan, taking advantage of your distraction, fully engaging in a lightsaber battle now. You believed in his abilities, but it did not make you any less scared to watch him go head-to-head with her.

As you pointed your blaster at her, your body was jerked involuntarily and dragged toward the opening of the ship, causing you to drop your weapon. You screamed from the startling feeling, which immediately pulled Obi Wan’s attention. Reva was unfazed, still working against Obi Wan, and it was clear that it was not her use of the force that pulled you and now held you still. You struggled to get your footing, wanting so desperately to fight the force and break the connection but you were too weak to fight it with your own abilities and how they’d weakened over time.

“Y/N!” Obi Wan yelled. With his guard down, Reva swung the blade of her saber over Obi Wan’s head.

“Obi Wan!” You screamed back, shortly before the voice was ripped from your throat by the force that held you. You'd alerted him just in time, his blade colliding with hers only milliseconds away from serious injury, if not death.

Nausea formed in your stomach from such a close call. Obi Wan was absolutely panicked, but would perish if stopped his fight with Reva. The conflict he felt within him was unbearable. Your heart skipped a beat but settled only slightly when you remembered that someone had a hold on you, and you had a terrifying suspicion that it was him.

A modulated breath, one that struck you as so familiar, came from behind you, heavy boots against the metal ship ramp accompanying the haunting sound.

Anakin.

You'd heard that sound in your nightmares...but how?

The motion of your limbs may have been restricted, but your sight was unhindered as you watched the life drain from Obi Wan's face when he put his eyes on Vader. Reva halted her attacks, turning now to knock Obi Wan onto his knees, and wrapped her force hold around him now as well, so he could only watch what would happen next.

Vader's voice almost shook you out of your own skin as he called to Reva from directly behind you, "I will take the girl. Leave him".

His voice was changed to something so bone-chilling, likely from the damage he’d taken in the last moments Obi Wan saw him. He’d told you in as little detail as possible how it all went down, and why he thought Anakin had died. He believed that no human, Jedi or not, could survive that.

But he did.

Nothing about Vader looked or sounded like Anakin, but it was the force that assured you both. It was him, not a doubt about it.

You feared for your life but feared for Obi Wan's even more. In all the chaos you hadn’t even noticed that the refugees and Jedi that had stayed, retreated and fled through the corridor and to the transport ship, but so many of them never made it. The bodies of the fallen lay cold and still beside from the armored men that attacked them. You swallowed your tears, trying so hard not to show your weakness right now.

Anakin
no, Vader’s phantom hold on you felt debilitating, wrapping tighter around your entire being, making it feel hard to breathe.

"Bind her" Vader commanded, and without hesitation, two stormtroopers moved to ensure your stationary position and wrap your trembling wrists in binders. The force released you. Now restrained only by the cold metal against your skin, you were pulled to your feet.

Obi Wan kneeled there, still restrained by powerful use of force from the Inquisitor, completely helpless, “I don’t understand”, He muttered, not comprehending why Vader would take you and not him, and why he was allowing Obi Wan to even live now that he’d found you both.

“He doesn’t need you Obi Wan. Not now, anyways. He only needs her” Reva smirked, gesturing to where you stood, bent over with your hands cuffed.

How vile and sadistic. Kidnap the one who’s most important to him, right before his eyes, and Vader will have him on a string for as long as he pleases. For a second, you wondered how much they knew about your relationship, and if they knew it was deeper than what it once was.

“Lord Vader, it seems your former friends have grown very
close” Reva insinuated, inevitably picking up on the bond that had fused the two of you together in the force. She felt that it was intimate, and was happy to discover that you just became so much more valuable to them.

“Is that so? Interesting” Vader’s tone was still cold, but held a hint of intrigue.

"Anakin” He faltered as he said it, feeling Anakin’s name leave his lips again startled himself, “Stop this. You know it is not her that you want" Obi Wan begged, his broken voice shattering as he knew his begging was wasted breath.

"Anakin is dead, Obi Wan" Vader responded with haste, ignoring his plea. 

It was frighteningly clear to him that there was nothing he could do to save you right now. Nothing that you leave you both unharmed.

“I’m sorry” He whispered to you, his face and voice broken with grief. He was defeated as he looked at your petrified and hopeless expression. For the first time in a long time, Obi Wan had lost. He could only watch as they dragged you away onto their ship. You felt your heart shatter into countless pieces as he finally disappeared from your view. It was at that moment that the same sinking, gut-wrenching feeling you’d felt the night you escaped the temple attacked you now.

You’d just got Obi Wan back, and now he was gone again, all in the blink of an eye, all because of Anakin.

You tried to look at him for as long as you could, but it was only fleeting as you were rushed onto their imperial ship. Panic washed over you, but you had to keep breathing. You had to stay strong.

The halls of the ship were dark and void of any feeling of life. The clanking of armor and metal filled the space as the only sounds you could hear, along with the dull roaring of the ship’s engine as it prepped to take you far away from here
away from Obi Wan. You could only listen as Reva threw him to the ground, releasing her hold, as she rushed to join you and Vader back on the ship.

There was a feeling of relief, knowing he was safe for now. You hoped he was able to join Cere and Cal on the transport ship before it launched.

The holding cell you were brought to was exactly what you expected. Cold, empty, and had one seat designed for your binders to attach to the back. As you were manhandled into the seat, you winced in pain as your cuts and bruises from fighting were finally making themselves known. You’ll adrenaline had subsided, no longer blinding you to the pain.

“Better get cozy, you’ll be here a while” one of the stormtroopers joked, finding your situation to be amusing.

Not exactly cozy, but you found comfort in your meditation. The constant lull of the ship’s sounds was slowly starting to fade. It may have been hours that passed before you heard heavy footsteps travel down the hall on the other side of your cell door.

The towering, haunting figure that was Lord Vader entered your cell. You stared him directly. You were afraid of the situation you were in, but you weren't really afraid of him. Your mind kept going back to the day you met him. You could never forget how kind he was to you.

“You’ll never find him again” You spat at him.

“We don’t have to. Obi Wan will find us” He paced the room slowly, “I suspect it won’t be long”.

“What have you become?” You scoffed, half angry, half heartbroken.

“What I’ve always been destined to become,” He said quickly, tired of your questions regarding the past, “I knew he always loved you. I could tell from the very beginning” He began, “which will certainly work in my favor”

“I’m not a fucking damsel in distress. You’re lucky I haven’t already gotten myself free” You were so fucking bluffing, but stars, you needed to convince even yourself that you didn't need to be saved.

“Without your precious lightsaber, you are nothing, Y/N” He snarled.

“We’ll see” You whispered, but had every intention of him hearing you.

You’d stopped believing in yourself the second that Vader had his hold on you and no amount of your own strength came close to fighting him. Obi Wan could train you, he could help you find your strength again, if you are ever able to be reunited. Seeing his face in your mind broke you, and you had to consider the serious possibility of never feeling his embrace again.

He wouldn’t want you to give up, so you would try to persevere
for him, but as Vader left the holding cell, all you were left with was your thoughts, and that was the most serious threat... yourself.

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Tagged:@simplysolo@hotchslatte@marygoddessofmischief @notmyideia @meshlasolus@ceruleanrainblues @shylittlefoxx @infinity-witch @star-whores-a-new-hoe @howellatme,@cosmic-rainestorm, @multi-fandom-s, @homesweetrazorcrest, @sebsbee, @hypnoash, @modernmythic, @bellarkeselection, @vangoghoffiguess, @siidereeus, @morganas-pendragons, @scoobywoos, @downbythewestcoast13, @djarinvibe @alorika@theonethatlikeskpop, @lalalalemonade11, @ella-error505, @hofficoffi, @tamtam-go92, @mclemontine, @hugmekenobi, @sofiaconlaz, @dont-feel-so-good-peter, @grazieschillivera, @impala1967666 , @punkrogers-jerkbarnes@myswficlist @radspencerreid @emmamikaelson95, @punkpirate82 @friskynotebook @mandowhatnow @sherrybirkingirl @the-blueatlas @starlightelegy

I think I lost a few of you with blog name changes, I am so sorry! I was able to find some of you that had changed blog names, but not everyone. Its just been so long since I updated :( If you'd like to be added or removed, please let me know :)

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I don’t see a lot of people really talk about just how much of an affect Sangwoo had on Gihun, especially on this season and how he takes his actions, and even the intentions behind it, but I’d love to go on about Gihun first.

Gihun was never a remarkable person, his life before the games was already in shambles. The company he worked under went on a strike, and that’s when he came in touch with death for the first time, witnessing a coworker die right infront of him when their workplace got attacked, the same day his wife gave birth, which he couldn’t attend, since then he’s been losing things more and more, his wife and daughter, and to cope with it all he turned to unhealthy ways, gambling and detaching from the pain by doing so. Lots of people say he was happier back then, but he was just ignoring all his issues. He’s stuck in the past, his mind refuses to register the pain he went through, and in turn to find a way to heal and work on his life. And being stuck on the past means attaching to things in his childhood, one indirectly being Sangwoo, considering he spends a lot of time with his mother. He knows his state, and indulges in it instead of pretending to be something else.

Sangwoo on the other hand, was the opposite of him. Which is everything Gihun admired in him, and everything Sangwoo envied in him. Gihun views him as someone remarkable, and obviously doesn’t shy away from saying so. But Sangwoo isn’t, and doesn’t believe so. Sangwoo his entire life was fixated on a image he wants to put out to the world, and does whatever it takes to do so, betting on everything and even his mother, who just like Gihun, views him as “ the pride of their hometown”. His methods of doing so however, were immoral and illegal, which caused him to be heavily in debt, a physical proof of his failure. Unlike Gihun, his coping mechanism simply is either money or nothing, to be something else or nothing, anything but himself, and something better than him. Because of his failure, he feels like an imposter in a suit, pretending to be everything he’s not, the image he so desperately wants to portray would falter infront of his mother, and already does infront of Gihun, so his instinct is always to run away from the past, to never go back to his hometown, to his mother, because of how ashamed he is of himself. Seeing Gihun again reminds him of everything he couldn’t be, and that reminder is a constant agony to Sangwoo.

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When he tries to connect with someone authentically, that person being Ali, he finally tries to allow himself to be without guilt, to help without thinking of any ulterior motives, and to have a relationship that isn’t wholly transactional, but that ultimately shatters when he teams up with Ali, who he ends up actually using his skills ( intelligence and manipulation, which he wanted to use hand in hand with Ali for each other instead of against each other) and like his old clients, cheats and robs him after promising to help. A painful reflection of how Ali, who was always cheated off his money and used in his workplace in unjust ways, the people who were his bosses, now gets cheated off by someone who he used to call from boss to Hyung. That’s when Sangwoo ultimately reverts back to his mindset, that he should be striving to save himself, make worth for himself, to make the blood in his hands make sense, and for the guilt to be worth it in the end, but also sees how Gihun still helps others, how he still helped Saebyeok, and is filled with anger about how he can pretend that he doesn’t also have blood on his hands too, that they’re all gonna die because of each other, but he still moves in the same empathetic way, as if they can afford to be kind.

Season 1 to me really is about how circumstances change the people who you once knew, how capitalism and money twists people, and even the most innocent things to bloody. It’s best portrayed with two childhood friends, Sangwoo and Gihun, who once played together with just fun in their minds, the adrenaline and the joy of childhood innocence and childlike wonder in their minds, to playing the same games for money with life and death in their minds. I’d argue and say they’re both just overgrown kids, two who are stuck in the past, Gihun who refuses to accept it as it is, and stays behind, his personality almost childish and pathetic as a grown man, while Sangwoo who runs after his childhood dreams by any means, stuck in the image that’s already tainted with blood, his personality almost like an angsty teen who pretend to be older than he is, but both come from poverty, both struggling with money, and both their issues starting from that, which shaped them to be who they are, and turned them both to things they don’t recognise anymore when they reunited till and till their last moments together.

Maybe it’s my own point, but I believe that Sangwoo was relieved that Gihun hated him for that brief moments, that they’ve argued and fought, and that the image Gihun had of him was shattered, which in turn also freed him from his own lies and image he tried to convince himself too. He could finally feel angry without any restraint, without acting like he isn’t, without covering up his selfish desires and needs, and projects it all onto Gihun, absolutely shattering the image he tried so hard to keep infront of him on purpose. Their fight was brutal and lacked any real training, both not knowing how to fight properly, and their emotions speaking louder, their movements are sloppy and awkward, and Sangwoo, who’s way more brutal in this fight, gets a hold of the knife for longer and stabs Gihun, while Gihun who when he manages to get a hold of the knife ( which is impaled to his hand ) realises that he can’t complete his actions, Sangwoo realising so when he opened his eyes to see Gihuns sad ones looking back. When Gihun walks right to the very edge of the triangle of the squid, he realises that the money, all of it, would never be worth his friends life, his childhood friends life, waking back limping and bloody to ask the guard, referencing what Sangwoo said to use clause three and for both of them agree to stop the games and leave.

Sangwoos anger waters down with the rain puddles next to him, and he realises the irony of their place. The same two grown adults, who once used to play the same games, and as he says “ When we were younger, we used to play just like this and our moms would call us for dinner” the intensity of their fight, this one being bloody and violent, reflects on how they as kids would imagine their fights to be that intense and bloody, the adrenaline copying one of someone facing life and death, except they are now, and like Sangwoo says. “Nobody is calling us anymore” his voice here ( lovely detail from the actor thank you park haesoo!) broken like a child, and Gihun raises his hand to him, telling him that they can go him, that they will go home. All the anger they had seconds before now gentle and caring, all of it was always once love, all the anger was once love. Gihun gives him is pure clean hand, one without a drop of blood, while Sangwoo stretches his own bloody hand, one that isn’t tainted with his own blood, but the blood of others and the person above him, the one who’s other hand he impaled.

Gihun was so willing, so willing to make it all worthless. Everything they’ve been though, all the scars they got and had, all the deaths they’ve caused indirectly, directly, and witnessed from close or afar, the death of the people he cared for, even Saebyeoks, and his own bleeding wounds and stabs, all if it meant bringing back Sangwoo with him, he’d go penniless willingly, because he couldn’t truly blame him for everything, he couldn’t truly blame him for turning out the way he is, he admired him with his soul, loved him with every fibre of his being, and adored him and saw him as someone so remarkable and great despite it all, so he gave him his hand, his clean, untainted hand, as to tell him that he, Sangwoo, can taint it with all his sins, and he’ll still hold his hand, he’d still want him by his side. Sangwoo almost took it, almost. He wanted to let himself be, to accept that gentleness Gihun so willingly offered, and to accept the hands of his childhood friend.

That’s until he realises they won’t have a single penny for it all. That’s when he retracts his hand, and all he can do is apologise, to say sorry to his Hyung, as he stabs the knife through his neck without any remorse. In that moments, I think that’s when he realised the only way he can truly repay Gihun isn’t by taking his hand, but by leaving all the money for him, to repay his mother, to repay for Ali, Saebyeok, for all the people he caused to suffer, to repay it all with his life that was now worth 45.7B when the last person is eliminated. In the end of it all, he ignores even his own will to live and picks the most reasonable choice, letting his childhood friend win, not any random person, but Gihun. He knows him better than anyone, and within his last moments, calls out for his mother, asking Gihun to help her, to repay her in his behalf, because he couldn’t face her like this, he knows he wouldn’t be able to live with the weight of what he has done, even more-so without a single dim. But he knows Gihun wouldn’t forget him, he wouldn’t forget his mother, he wouldn’t forget his humanity, and he wouldn’t forget to care.

And so Sangwoo dies in a playground, dead in his childhood friends hands, a reflection of how everything he chased for as a kid died there too, and was always stuck in the same playground trying to prove his worth by winning.

By S2, Gihun painfully parallels everything Sangwoo was before the games. Both sharing even the same mother, who they both feel too ashamed and guilty to face, calling their families from a distance, and falling into deep depression, both sharing the same sense feeling like an imposter in their bodies for being things they aren’t ( both being wealthy, but gaining that wealth in unjust ways) their sense of worth less now and both suicidal. ( Sangwoo who tried to commit suicide in the bathtub, and Gihun who doesn’t hesitate to play Russian roulette and shoot himself) the only difference is the reason why they go back to the games.

I’d Love To Absolutely Yap About Gihun And Sangwoo And How Gihun Is In This Season So Here It Is ‌

I’d Love To Absolutely Yap About Gihun And Sangwoo And How Gihun Is In This Season So Here It Is ‌

Gihun in s2 even comes back to the games acting exactly like Sangwoo, even down to the two of them meeting someone from their past within it ( Sangwoo who met Gihun, and Gihun who now met Jungbae) but as vastly different people. Gihun uses what he had learnt directly from Sangwoo to help others ( The red light green light method, Mentioning the third clause, which was even filmed in the same space and manner, and telling others to hide before the fight broke out ) he’d always seen Sangwoo as an example of how to be, and admired him as a figure of something remarkable, so he, who already feels like an imposter in his body, who feels like he shouldn’t be the one who made it out, unconsciously begins to create an image of himself that reflects Sangwoos, one he saw as cold, intelligent, and was human despite it all.

Young Il, who Inho created, is an image of who Gihun wishes Sangwoo was. (Yes ik how that sounds lemme elaborate!) Young-il is someone who is equally as smart, someone who uses that intelligence to help the weaker, who thinks for the community, and is willing to help Gihun help others, unlike Sangwoo who limited his intelligence and help to just those who could also equally benefit him, who held back on trusting Gihun, and in the end acted on his own, and reduced Gihun’s humanity to weakness, something Gihun resented about Sangwoo, and something he sees in Young-il, who Inho knew how to build himself to be someone Gihun trusted, a familiar but strange new face. Oh but Gihun’s intentions aren’t so pure either, his guilt brought him back to the games, back to something he was stuck in, back to the past he can’t move on from and never will, his guilt drives him to think he needs to sacrifice himself for the games to end, even without any real aim or clear goal on how to, or even realising that the players will still suffer anyways, he believes his life will only gain worth if it’s used for something greater, similarly to how Sangwoo also believed his life would be worth something if he gained social status and money, something greater than himself. This time, Gihun gambles with the lives of himself and others ( the people who died for the plan) instead of horses.

Gihuns unwavering trust in others humanity, and in humanity itself, I’d say is purely because of Sangwoo. He witnessed him turn to so many things, from someone he so dearly admired, to a vile person who spat blood and killed for money, to hearing him never speak to him informally even in their angriest moments, and to crying in his arms, uttering out his mothers name as he calls him Hyung for the last time. Sangwoo, who taught him all he knew right now, couldn’t teach him how people could still be harmful, that trusting still blinds, and that being idealistic and naive isn’t good, because Sangwoo was human, Sangwoo wasn’t evil and irredeemable, he still cared for the boy he grew with, for the kid he found charming but annoyingly naive, for the kid who bragged about him every given chance, and for the same guy who he entrusted his mother to, the one who he drove all his actions for. And Gihun? He bet his entire life on that, on the shred of his cold image breaking to reveal his real vulnerability, on his humanity. And because Sangwoo showed him that, he now doesn’t believe anybody is truly evil, that they’re all victims of something bigger than themselves.

And so Gihun goes back to the games, going back to the place that his old self died in, and the one he doesn’t even know if he’ll survive in again, but is willing to gamble his life on ending it.

(sorry for how long I’ve yapped for! and if I’ve made any mistakes ❀ please have some mercy on me! my English isn’t the best )

1 year ago

Because I’m cuckoo for cocoa puffs and Capcom drives me insane with their lack of character background info I decided to dig through every file in-game to try to determine Leon’s birth month, or as close as I could get given just how little information we have.

Leon was born in 1977, that’s a hard fact that we have to work with. We also know that he was 21 during the RC incident which was in 1998 meaning Leon had already had his birthday that year by late September. An re6 file mentions that he’s already 36 when RE6 is taking place, meaning his birthday would have to be sometime June 29th. RE4 never got a specific date, but we can assume it’s probably around autumn or winter based on Ashley and Leon’s outfits. And none of the movies (+ ID) give any info regarding Leon’s age. So, all we know is that Leon’s birthday is sometime before June 29th.

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