STRONGEST AVENGERS 

I just wanted to hear this post in real life, and I chased that impulse.

Alien: You’re telling me that in times of great distress humans have been known to suddenly gain the strength necessary to lift objects more than a dozen times their own weight?!

Human: Yeah, it’s called “hysterical strength” and it usually happens in life-or-death situations, like when someone gets stuck under a car or something and someone lifts the car to get them out. We can’t really test it though, ‘cause it only happens spontaneously.

Alien: Humans have the ability to tap into untold strength and power and you don’t even know how you do it?

Human: Pretty much, yeah. We think it has something to do with temporary analgesia, so we just don’t feel the pain we should when we pick up a 3000-pound car.

Alien: YOUR PAIN RESPONSE JUST SHUTS OFF?

Human: Yeah, it’s like an adrenaline thing? Do you not have that?

Alien: Fuck you and your entire species of tiny juggernauts.

Feminist fantasy is funny sometimes in how much it wants to shit on femininity for no goddamned reason. Like the whole “skirts are tools of the patriarchy made to cripple women into immobility, breeches are much better” thing.

(Let’s get it straight: Most societies over history have defaulted to skirts for everyone because you don’t have to take anything off to relieve yourself, you just have to squat down or lift your skirts and go. The main advantage of bifurcated garments is they make it easier to ride horses. But Western men wear pants so women wearing pants has become ~the universal symbol of gender equality~)

The book I’m reading literally just had its medievalesque heroine declare that peasant women wear breeches to work in the field because “You can’t swing a scythe in a skirt!”

Hm yes story checks out

peasant women definitely never did farm labour in skirts

skirts definitely mean you’re weak and fragile and can’t accomplish anything

skirts are definitely bad and will keep you from truly living life

no skirts for anyone, that’s definitely the moral of the story here

Good times

So, short recap of this hell of a week

- starting with the US elections being the most dramatic ones ever

- Trump declares himself winner literal days before we get an official result

- The whole world's waiting for friggin Nevada to count their votes

- Trump wants to stop counting the votes, but at the same time not. He's confused, wants to involve the supreme court. Unclear why.

- with everyone's eyes still glued to Nevada, the CW airs a new episode of Supernatural, casually kicking the entirety of tumblr back into the year 2013

- Destiel becomes canon after 11 seasons / 12 years

- Castiel "dies" and somehow the internet turns it into a mainstream meme

- For about 12 hours everyone is convinced that Canon Destiel caused russian dictator Vladimir Putin to step down

- While all of us are busy freaking out about Destiel, Georgia turns blue, and we all find out via Destiel memes

- We're still waiting for Nevada

- Pennsylvania turns blue as well, and we find out via Destiel memes AGAIN

- Destiel-Antis are getting mad and Destiel-Fans are having an absolute blast after a single-word tweet. "COPE"

- Superwholock is crawling out of its grave and people bring back tumblr code and dashcon

- rumours about Sherlock season 5 to make the Superwholock chaos perfect

- Putin is NOT stepping down but that doesn't stop the memes

- Destiel is trending on Twitter ON TOP OF THE ELECTION, and it's trending in combination with Putin.

- still waiting for Nevada

- Trump declares himself winner again and gets mad at twitter for marking his tweets as incorrect

- Trump still tries to stop the ballot counting with wild accusations of cheating. Also, he really really hates the mail-in ballots.

- we still freak out over Destiel and find out that Dan and Phil dating is confirmed. Suddenly we're all 13 again.

- Trumps son tweets about starting a war

- while the whole world is STILL waiting for Nevada, Trump goes golfing, but not without declaring himself winner once more. Winner "BY A LOT".

- nothing from Nevada

- Trumps team send emails to people asking them for more money

- Biden wins Pennsylvania, now having enought electoral votes to win the presidency, fireworks all around the globe

- about 0.2 seconds after Pennsylvania has made Biden president, Nevada finishes counting.

- Joe Biden becomes the 46th President of the United States and a big bunch of people find out via destiel memes

- Trump lost the election. BY A LOT.

- "JOE IS BIDEN"

- we declare Biden the Destiel president

- Trump does not accept the election results. What a surprise.

- Trump is still golfing but his giant team of lawyers have dug up a bunch of people who claim to have witnessed cheating in the ballot counting

- Trumps lawyer team holds a press conference about their plans to fight against the cheating, leaving everyone confused about 1) their non-existent proof and 2) the very weird venue this conference was held at

- "stop the steal"

- we learn that Trump's press conference was held in the parking lot of Four Seasons Landscaping, not the luxury hotel Four Seasons.

- we also learn that Four Seasons Landscaping is located in-between a crematorium and a sex-toy shop

- Biden makes a speech and Trump finally stops golfing. Trump's fans are very mad at the democracy for being a democracy. They also hate socialism without even knowing what it means.

there’s a lot going on here

Ok so the thing about reading like books which are “predictable” is that I, a story enjoyer, go completely bonkers about it bc its like Enrichment in my Enclosure. A scene parallels another earlier scene between different characters thus serving to highlight the differences in their views and priorities???? A line makes me think “hmmm I bet that’s gonna be relevant later” ends up being relevant later????? I am a tiger chewing ice cubes out of a pumpkin. I’m so so happy. Please foreshadow more things. Throw the completely anticipateable plot beats at me like catnip mousies!!!!!

Your body is an incredibly bizarre machine.

“What you see is a myosin protein dragging an endorphin along a filament to the inner part of the brain’s parietal cortex which creates happiness. Happiness. You’re looking at happiness.”

Seven is blue, Thursday is orange, and opulence is purple.

in your head what colour is the number 7? thursday? the word 'opulence'?

Very unphotogenic cats that will make you laugh out loud