Sheer Brilliance.

Sheer brilliance.

when I become an eccentric billionaire I'm going to buy every house in 10 square blocks of unremarkable suburb. I will have them all furnished and decorated except for (and this is key) one house in the dead center. this house I will put up for sale at a ridiculously reasonable price for the area. once it sells, and the new owner/couple/family moves in, the plan will spring into action.

every single house besides the one in the center within my 10 square blocks will remain uninhabited. I will put all the lights inside on timers so that it appears that people are living in there, I will have lawns mowed when I'm sure everyone in my victim house is at work/school, I will have decorations put up during the holidays and cars moved there and parked in driveways when I'm sure that the owner/couple/family in the house at the center is not there to witness it happening. I will produce all the superficial trappings of life without a single person actually being there.

who knows how long it'll take them to realize that something is wrong? when their kids are playing in the yard, and they notice they've never seen another child around here even once, despite the four-bedroom family homes all down the street? after a few weeks, when they realize the lights in the house across the way click off at exactly 9:45, on the second, every single night? when they've been living there for a month and a half and they realize they've never seen a single car park in front of another house? when they want to greet their neighbors and not a single house in the whole neighborhood opens its door?

when they do realize that they're completely alone here, what would they do with that fact? what would you do if all at once, as you stood in a crowd, you realized that every single person around you was a mannequin? it's unnerving, sure, but enough to warrant a move? how long will they live in this idyllic ghost town before it gets to them? can a person survive in a dollhouse? Thank you. *I wave to the crowd as I walk offstage at my ted talk. one person gives a halfhearted round of applause from the back. a talk about sustainable ecosystem management was scheduled for right now and no one knows how I got up here.*

More Posts from Genesplicer and Others

1 year ago

First piercing was on my left lobe, first wedding anniversary, 1990. It was in a little jewelry shop on the corner of Haight and Ashbury in San Francisco. Second piercing was in 1994 at a Claire's in the Mall of America. The right ear I got double pierced about a year ago at the tattoo parlor I regularly visit.

3 years ago

https://youtu.be/6sM8pDH-HMc

There Are Actual People Out There Who Want To Genetically Modify Carnivores So They No Longer Eat Other

there are actual people out there who want to genetically modify carnivores so they no longer eat other animals

im going to fly away from this planet goodbye


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2 years ago

"We don't stop playing because we grow old, we grow old because we stop playing."

-George Bernard Shaw

genesplicer - This Title Intentionally Left Blank
2 years ago

But where did the delivery person leave this note???

genesplicer - This Title Intentionally Left Blank
2 years ago

The calling of bullshit is not meant as confrontational, sorry if it seemed as such. What would be another way of saying "There's no way that a professor could have an office that free of clutter!"?

{6-27-22}
{6-27-22}

{6-27-22}

Studying entomology lately. Of course, I had to include the professor’s old lab. Hope everyone is having a productive summer 🤍

7 years ago
4 months ago
Hey Have You Seen A Small Cut Of Lightweight Lime Green Cotton Anywhere? It Was In This Drawer And I

hey have you seen a small cut of lightweight lime green cotton anywhere? It was in this drawer and I don't remember moving it, but I emptied the drawer 3 times and I looked in between all the folds and it has vanished and I'm very confused.

I don't need it for anything, I just want to move it to a box with similar fabrics.

7 months ago

Dealing With Executive Dysfunction - A Masterpost

The “getting it done in an unconventional way” method.

The “it’s not cheating to do it the easy way” method.

The “fuck what you’re supposed to do” method.

The “get stuff done while you wait” method.

The “you don’t have to do everything at once” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be permanent to be helpful” method.

The “break the task into smaller steps” method.

The “treat yourself like a pet” method.

The “it doesn’t have to be all or nothing” method.

The “put on a persona” method.

The “act like you’re filming a tutorial” method.

The “you don’t have to do it perfectly” method.

The “wait for a trigger” method.

The “do it for your future self” method.

The “might as well” method.

The “when self discipline doesn’t cut it” method.

The “taking care of yourself to take care of your pet” method.

The “make it easy” method.

The “junebugging” method.

The “just show up” method.

The “accept when you need help” method.

The “make it into a game” method.

The “everything worth doing is worth doing poorly” method.

The “trick yourself” method.

The “break it into even smaller steps” method.

The “let go of should” method.

The “your body is an animal you have to take care of” method.

The “fork theory” method.

The “effectivity over aesthetics” method.

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genesplicer - This Title Intentionally Left Blank
This Title Intentionally Left Blank

Some Signs, a Few Portents, Mostly Misdirection

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