So I Got Into Grad School Today With My Shitty 2.8 Gpa And The Moral Of The Story Is Reblog Those Good

What if Harry Potter, the chosen one, had turned out to be a squib, how do you think history would have turned out differently?

It was Mrs. Figg who suspected first.

She noticed many things, sitting on her side of her fence with her cats chasing butterflies and nuzzling her ankles, Mundungus and the other watchers dropping by for tea now and then.

Mrs. Figg noticed that Petunia was a nosy bit of work with insecurities hanging from her every harsh angle. She noticed when Dudley learned the word MINE– the whole neighborhood noticed that one. She noticed that Vernon glared at owls.

She noticed that when Petunia gave Harry a truly horrendous haircut one year, it grew back in at a normal rate. Harry was uneven and weird-looking for ages, hiding under beanies when he could.

When Mrs. Figg had Harry over for carefully miserable afternoons of babysitting, she noticed nothing moved that shouldn’t. He didn’t accidentally make flowers out of fallen leaves, or levitate anything during tantrums, or turn toys funny colors.

Mrs. Figg called up her mother, interrupting the wizarding bridge game she was winning against the nursing home staff, and asked her how she had known, decades back, that her youngest daughter was a squib.

When Albus Dumbledore received Mrs. Figg’s letter he wrote back a polite thank you and then went to talk with Minerva McGonagall, who inhaled sharply in horror when he told her the news.

Finally, McGonagall gave a gathered sigh. “I suppose we can ask one of the wizarding families to homeschool him,” she said. “We can’t have the Boy Who Lived not knowing about his own world.”  

“No, he’ll come to Hogwarts,” said Dumbledore.

“Hogwarts is not a place for–” Her voice fell. “–squibs, Albus.”

Dumbledore shook his head. “Harry must be taught.”

“Be taught what, Albus?”

But Dumbledore just sighed and offered her a lemon drop.

Years later, the owls and the letters came to 4 Privet Drive. The Dursleys ran, dragging Harry with them, and the letters and one stubborn gamekeeper followed– none of this would change with a magicless Harry.

When Hagrid asked Harry in that little cabin on that little rock in the middle of the sea if weird things always happened around him, Harry couldn’t tell him about vanishing glass and setting captive snakes free, about ending up somehow on the school roof, or growing his hair out overnight.  

“Strange things always happen around you, don’ they?”

“Um,” said Harry, racking his brain. “Well… I live in a cupboard under the stairs…”

Harry could tell him about how snakes sometimes talked back, because that had never been Harry’s magic, but when he did Hagrid just blanched and changed the subject.

Hagrid held out hope, even against Dumbledore’s quiet warning explanations, until they made it to Ollivander’s Wands. Harry marveled at Diagon Alley, got his hands shaken in the Leaky, pressed his nose up against shop windows. Hagrid watched the scant boy– looked at James’s messy hair, Lily’s eyes, Harry’s own wandering gaze– and he wondered how this boy could be anything but magical.

In the wand shop, Ollivander said, “James Potter, yes… mahogany, eleven inches. Pliable. A powerful wand for Transfiguration.” He said, “And your mother, Lily…  strong in Charms work, ten and… yes, ten and a quarter, willow, swishy.”

Harry picked up stick after wooden stick. They remained just that– wood with bits of feather or scale or hair. Harry wondered if the creatures who gave these offerings were still alive– if they were given or taken. What did it do to your wand when they died? He waved a maplewood wand (unicorn hair, eleven inches) and a gust from the door opening blew some receipts off the counter.

“Well, said Ollivander. “I think that’s as close as we’re likely to get.”

He sent them out with the maplewood. Hagrid bought Harry a snowy owl and a fudge sundae and tried not make it too obvious that these were condolence gifts. The next day the Prophet’s headlines read: The Boy Who Lived– A Squib? Various magical medical experts weighed in on how it might have happened. Fingers were pointed at childhood trauma, at his upbringing, at his family lineage.

Harry still met Ron on the train– Ron was still smudge-nosed and Harry still bought enough candy to share. When Molly had helped him through the platform entrance, her voice had been a little softer, a little more pitying– but it was still better than the laughter that had been in his aunt and uncle’s voices when they dropped him here to find a platform they didn’t think existed.

Hermione Granger dropped by their compartment, looking for Neville’s toad, but got distracted when she spotted Harry. “I’ve read about you! In my books, and in the paper,” she said. “You’re the Boy Who Lived, and you’re a squib.”

Harry sank down in his seat. Ron hid Scabbers under a candy wrapper.

“Squibs have never been allowed in Hogwarts,” Hermione announced. “According to Hogwarts, A History, squibs try to sneak in now and then– the furthest anyone’s ever gotten is to the Sorting Hat before they got found out.” At eleven, Hermione still believed in expulsion being worse than death. Her voice was thrumming with sympathetic horror.

“But they already found out about me,” Harry said, alarmed.

“It’s alright, mate,” said Ron. “You’re Harry Potter. Oy, Granger,” he added. “What’s this Hat? Fred and George were trying to sell me some story about having to fight a mountain troll to get your House…”

Harry sat back and watched the countryside rush by. Yes, he was Harry Potter– his aunt’s useless sister’s useless child, the boy in the lumpy hand-me-down sweaters who named the spiders who lived in his cupboard. And here, in new world, he was apparently useless too.

When they got to Hogwarts, Harry clenched his fists and stood in line with the other first years. He barely twitched at the ghosts or Peeves, just stared ahead and thought about how far he would get before they turned him around and sent him back to Vernon and Petunia.

They opened the Great Hall doors. They called the first years one by one. Harry clenched his teeth and walked up to the Hat when they called his name.

As he turned to sit down on the stool, he really caught sight of the Hall for the first time– the hovering candles, the big wooden tables, the black robes that swallowed the light. Translucent ghosts gossiped with the students beside them. The paintings on the far walls– were they moving?

Harry’s jaw had unclenched, falling open. His fists curled open, curving around the stool’s seat as he leaned forward to stare. If this was it, if this was as far as he’d get in this world, then he wanted to drink it all in. The candles were floating, in mid-air.

The Hat dropped down over his eyes and blocked out the light.

Well, said the dry voice that had been hollering House placements all night. What do we have here?

Ron had been begging for not-Slytherin. Draco from the robes shop had been scornful of Hufflepuff, desperate in his disdain. Neville had begged for Hufflepuff, sure he was not brave enough for Gryffindor.

Please, thought Harry. Don’t send me back.

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I remember seeing them perform this live on my campus.. My jaw dropped within 10 seconds.

stay with me, my blood

i just saw an article by a nonbinary person named charles-elizabeth and i must say. the sheer POWER in that kind of name. to choose a gender-contradictory name instead of a gender-neutral name - a name that, instead of slipping between the boundaries of gender norms and carefully negotiating its place at the tipping point of gendered perceptions, is categorically unable to exist within them! i am in awe

I came across the original video of the seagull meme! What a glorious day! I never realized it was a video, let alone a full throat and hearty evil villain laugh!

Fairest of Them All (Nine)

Sweet love scenes between Tony and his Alphas, plus Stucky bonding and a peek back into the rebel camp. 

This chapter picks up immediately after the last and also, it’s like 9k words so you know… enjoy!

SNOW WHITE MASTERLIST HERE

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“Can I scent you?” Steve was still braced over Tony’s body, his hand tight at his mate’s waist but he couldn’t tear his eyes away from the other Alpha. “Can I– will you let me–” he cleared his throat and tried again, squeezing gratefully at Tony when the Omega trilled encouragingly. “Can I scent you?” 

James nodded shortly, just once, and held himself very still as Steve lifted away from Tony to come towards him with slow, careful steps. 

“Do you know each other?” Tony sat up and wiped the dirt from his pants as he watched his two Alphas. “Steve? What’s going on? Who’s Bucky?” 

“Do you remember when I told you about my friend, the one that went off to war and never came home?” Steve didn’t dare look away from the big brunette, watching closely in case the pale eyes slid red in anger. “His name was Bucky and he was a real big Alpha with light blue eyes.” 

“Well yes, but–” 

“Bucky’s real name was James.” Steve stopped no more than a foot away and took in a deep breath. “I knew him my whole life. Learned to ride horses with him and fight with him and we were always in trouble together and he was my second at my coming of age ceremony when I received my father’s blessing. He scented like moonflowers and snow and the sort of red that happens when the sun sets and I–” his voice caught. “–I left home to look for him after he went missing. I know it’s you, Buck. Can I scent you? Can I just–” 

It was a very real risk for one Alpha to step into another Alpha’s space uninvited, but it was a risk Steve took willingly, pushing close and tucking his nose into James’s throat and it took a moment, but James finally turned his head to scent Steve as well. 

And Tony wasn’t sure which of his Alphas broke first, which one of them made that disbelieving, anxious cry. He wasn’t sure if Steve collapsed and James had to catch him or it was James whose legs gave out and Steve who kept them from falling to the ground. 

But either way he couldn’t do much more than stare as both Alphas wrapped their arms around the other, Steve tangling his fingers in James’s hair and pushing it away from his face, James with a possessive hand at the back of Steve’s neck to hold him still so he could scent him over and over again. 

“I found you.” Steve whispered, pushing their foreheads together and clutching at James’s jacket. “I finally found you.” 

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I saw someone do this and decided to do it too since i’ve read a lot of fics recently that deserve to be seen

i’ll be tagging the authors wherever i can, i dont know most of their tumblrs so feel free to tag them

A fic that you loved without knowing the source material: When my body wont hold me anymore (where will i go)- @madasthesea​

- When i read this i had not watched doctor strange yet this is perfect for tony’s grieving process and then the hope when he realises there might still be a chance

A fic with a premise that shouldnt work but does: Here comes the sun-  @motherkarizma​

- Okay so i read this a few weeks ago and it will be one of the only au’s i remember for years to come, this was purely amazing and with tony’s worry as peter struggles, it killed me. Hands down one of my favourite fics.

A fic you’ve read more than once: Danny boy- friendlyneighbourhoodirondad

- Ive read this too many times to count, it’s perfect in every way and the whump is amazing, along with the reveal and may being a badass, its perfect.

A fic you still remember many years later: You’re in my veins (and i cannot get you out)- @losingmymindtonight​

- this was one of the first fics ive read and it got me into the whump scene, i love it.

A comfort fic: Living Nightmare- @svn-f1ower​

- perfect scene from far from home, exactly what i expected and the hurt/comfort is amazing.

A cathartic fic: Somno- romanoff

- i read this a few days ago and its one of the stony fics i love, the perfect blend of fluff and whump, the protectiveness of steve and the perfect display of how the concussion is affecting tony.

A fic you’d print and put on your bookshelf: Mistakes- @yes-i-am-happyaspie​

- this is one of my favourite tropes, i love it completely and the guilt and regret of tony is amazing.

A fic you associate with a song: The parent test- madmonnette

- i cried along with tony while reading this, the bond between tony and peter is shown really well.

A fic that inspires you: Wired shut inside and out- @webtrinsic1122​

- this is a trope i love as well, i completely related to peter and when tony realises what he’s feeling it’s the perfect comfort fic.

A fic that brought you onboard a new ship: Peter and the jailbirds- beautifullights

- okay this is one of the best long fics ive read, i spent about three hours straight reading this and then i read it again. amazing whump and ptsd from peter. and the reunion of sam and steve was adorable. not my favourite ship but definitely cute.

A fic you wish could be a movie: Tennessee whiskey- Superstitious

- The best parkner fic i’ve read, perfect ending and Harley’s reaction to peter leaving was A+. Then Peter comes back and its just- so adorable.

A fic that lead to you being friends with the author: If youre going through hell, keep on going- @baloobird​

- Best child Peter fics, amazing display of ptsd and the comfort from tony as he slowly becomes more involved in peter’s life. also @baloobird​ is one of my best friends and i love her writing so much.

Free space: That’s what you call irony- nanerich

- fake dating au with parkner, amazing, adorable, full of fluff.

A fic you’ve gushed about irl: Hydra’s not a home- tempestaurora

- Purely amazing hydra Peter fic. Ive reread it so many times, its just perfect.

A fic you accosiate with a place: In the home- aloneintherain

- This is the perfect blend of hurt/comfort, the best ratio of whump to recovery, 100% would read again and i will always recommend this to anyone

A fic that made you gasp out loud: Take my heart, not my life- elephreak

-amazing evil obadiah and ross fic. love the guilt from tony and the flashbacks are just amazing.

A fic you found at the right time: Three seemingly small words- @yes-i-am-happyaspie​

- i read this a week ago, such an angsty fic, amazing concern from tony and the comfort from his amazing.

A fic that you would read a fic of: Hindsight- elephreak

- 100% the best May’s boyfriend fics ive read. I love the desperation you feel along with peter when he’s so close to getting away. Then tony not knowing how Peter got hurt, and the reveal at the end. 

A fic that made you laugh out loud: Creepy crawlies and peppermint allergies- @webtrinsic1122​

- amazing allergy whump fic. I laughed so hard when tony found out and they both finally got what they deserved. Peter’s need for comfort when he sees tony killed me.

A fic that you know a line (or two) from: i want to go- chvotic

-i cant express how well this was written, the distant feeling you know peter is feeling just kills you, and you see tony trying to comfort him as much as he can.

A fic that gave you butterflies: project pride- TheSleepingOwl

- One of the best coming out fics for peter, amazing in every way, especially with the display of internalised homophobia.

A fic that embodies something you value in life: Hope is the strongest power- sarayin

- I dont want to say too much about this fic but it’s so so good so please go read this. It’s amazing

A favourite au: Nothing is Impossible with you- Highqualitynot

- THESE SHIPS. MJ and HARLEY being BROS. Harley being a disaster gay over Peter. Oh my god this was amazing. please go read it, its so adorable.

A fic you stayed up too late to finish reading: round two- caraminha

-amazing comfort, in the time after the snap, after they got everyone back, peter has to go through the mutation again, one of the best switch ups from the normal fix-it au you see

A fic that made you feel seen: What’s In a serum?- purplestarfish  As well as Ace of hearts- @shadedrose01​

-first of all, amazing trans posativity between tony, steve and peter, and you still come out of the story loving scott.

-next, Perfect parkner fic, peter being insecure and harley being reassuring. i would read 50k words of this.

Tagging people to join in doing this: @romeoandjulietyouwish​ @baloobird​ @just-the-daydreamer​ along with anyone else who wants to do this

Please go read ALL of these fics, tag the authors if i havent. Thanks guys!

Shadowed Heart/Winter Souls (Chapter Twenty-Three)

MASTERLIST

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“Signore Carbonell Stark.” The butler waved the footman away and opened the carriage door himself, bowing at the waist to offer a polite, “Welcome home to Italia, how was your journey?”

“Tiresome, thank you.” Tony smiled at the man, grateful he had been willing to travel from the Stark estate in Brescia to meet the carriage here at the home in the hills behind Chioggia. “It’s good to see you, Jarvis.”

“E ‘bello vederti, Antonio.” Jarvis broke into a smile and clapped Tony’s shoulder lightly, all the worry lines accumulated in the last year of hearing nothing from the young master washing away in mere seconds. “It is good to see you as well.” 

Tony turned back to the carriage and held out his hand for Natalia. “This is my wife, the Lady Natalia Romanova-Stark. And our ward–” he tugged Natalia to the side and held out his hand for Wanda as she departed the carriage as well. “Signorina Wanda Maximoff, and her brother, Pietro Maximoff.”

“Welcome.” Jarvis bent low over Natalia’s hand to kiss her knuckles, and offered the same treatment to Wanda. “Benvenuta. I am most pleased to meet you all.”

Pietro came down the stairs stiffly, painfully, and Jarvis neatly side stepped the women to wrap his arm around Pietro’s waist and help him to the ground, not so much as blinking at the sight of bandages that covered most of Pietro’s head, or the gauze on his fingers and up along most of his arm.

“Be very careful, Signore Pietro Maximoff.” Jarvis said lightly. “I would be very disappointed if you spilt blood on my beautiful stone path, I finished scrubbing them this morning.”

Pietro blinked his one uncovered eye at Jarvis, and when the elderly butler only grinned, Pietro’s lips tugged up in a reluctant smile as well.

“What Jarvis means is that he found a local boy who wanted a few coins and was willing to scrub stones all day.” Tony informed them. “Since I am no longer home to cause mischief and earn my way into ridiculous chores as punishment, he has had to resort to hiring help for the more unpleasant cleaning.”

“Your butler made you do chores, Antonio?” Wanda wondered, hoisting her own small traveling bag and collecting Natalia’s as well. “And you obliged him?”

“Jarvis is much more than my butler.” Tony hooked Natalia’s hand through his arm, leaning into kiss her temple when she didn’t say anything. “He was my body guard, he kept me from trouble, drove me places when I was young, covered for my–” a quiet cough. “–indiscretions.”

“Taught the boy to hide love bites with a touch of powder and blush.” Jarvis continued, ignoring Tony’s embarrassed squawk and focusing instead of helping Pietro over the stones to the house. “Fixed clothing when Antonio ran off and got into a mess instead of sitting quietly in the parlor, ensured he could at least act the part of a nobleman even if he was truly a hellion. Taught him to handle a rifle, to assemble a pistol before famiglia Beretta took him into their work space.”

Jarvis sent Tony a smile over Pietro’s head. “Taught him to throw a punch, though he hasn’t used the knowledge near as often as I’d like.”

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