Clintucky (WinterHawk)

Based entirely off of THIS PICTURE by the talented @shan101pi and written in approximately seven minutes so I didn’t forget the idea:

ALSO, I feel like this could use a dozen or so more chapters.

ALSO If I write more, I’ll probably call it “Greener Pastures” or something like that, but Clintucky made me laugh so hard I ugly snorted so… you know :)

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The woman at the bar in town had told Bucky the farm was “not quite hollerin’ distance from the bridge, but close enough to be called a walk”.

Bucky didn’t know what the hell those directions meant, but there was a driveway a short walk from the end of the bridge and a gate with a handwritten sign proclaiming “Free Chikkens if you can Catch’ Em” and since it was the only gate he’d seen since leaving town nearly an hour previous, he figured this was the one the redhead had meant.

Farm work wasn’t exactly Bucky’s idea of a good time, but he needed money and he needed a lowkey place to hide stay for a few months and after hitching a ride with a trucker in Chicago and ending up in the middle of Cornfield, USA– well, this was good a spot as any to hunker down for a while.

The lane was longer than Bucky had expected, and after an hours hike from town he was puffing a little when he finally made the turn around a corner and came up on a big farmhouse that looked like something out of those cheesy Americana pictures– picket fences and white shutters and a big porch with a couple rocking chairs.

Bucky half expected to smell apple pie and see a hound dog lazing around in the shade, maybe spy a couple of bare foot brats running round in the creek, but even after standing in the yard for a few minutes, Bucky didn’t see anyone or hear anything other than the noise of animals in the distance.

Upon closer inspection, it was obvious the farm house wasn’t quite as perfect as he’d first thought– shutters hanging sideways and paint peeling. The rocking chair leg was broken and the porch steps sagged alarmingly when Bucky walked up and one of the windows was broken, a sheet of plastic stretched over the frame to keep the weather out.

“Hello?” Bucky called, his hand automatically twitching towards the gun tucked in back of his pants. He didn’t like the emptiness and he didn’t like the silence. “Anyone here? Hello? Girl in town said you needed some help out here, is anyone here?”

Quiet for another moment and then Bucky tipped his head to the side, thinking he’d heard a voice around back.

“Hello?” He avoided the squeaky porch and went down to the yard and around to the barn he’d glimpsed coming up the road. “Anyone back here? I’m looking for some work?”

There was definitely a voice coming from the barn and Bucky approached the double doors cautiously, not wanting to startle anyone who might be holding a rifle or some other farm implement that could double as a weapon.

“Hello?” he called again. “I’m looking for the guy that owns this place….?” he poked his head around the doors and stopped in his tracks. “Um… what is going on here?”

The man in the middle of the barn was being chased around by what could only be an army of chicks, fluffy balls of yellow armed with sharp beaks and the most obnoxious peeps in the world, shouting, “No no no! I was trying to feed you! Don’t turn on me like this!”

The guy stopped abruptly when he saw Bucky at the door. “Oh. Hey look at that. Can I help–” he looked down when his feet were swarmed by annoyed sounding chicks. “Aw chickies….no. Go find your mama or something, I don’t even like you!”

Despite his words, the blonde bent down and scooped up armfuls of chicks, clucking and trilling at them as he carried them over to a makeshift pen. “Please stay there. I’m begging you. I’m literally begging you. Five minutes.”

He shut the pen door with his foot and made an attempt at dusting chick feathers off his clothes and hair before shooting Bucky a grin. “Sorry about that. Chickens. What’r’ya gonna do?”

“Um–” Bucky made a vague gesture, not quite sure what to think about the scene he’d just witnessed. “Well uh–”

“Tasha phoned to say she was sending someone down to work with me.” the farmer continued with a friendly smile. “Took you so long to get here, thought for sure you’d gotten lost. Find the place okay?”

“The directions I was given included the phrase ‘hollerin’ distance from the bridge’.” Bucky said flatly, regaining at least a little of his composure. “Not really sure how to interpret that.”

“Oh, that means if you stood on the bridge and hollered?” he shook his head. “I couldn’t hear you at the house.”

“…alright.”

“So you’re looking for work, huh?” A quick sweep of blue eyes over Bucky’s frame, lingering over the gleam of his silver prostheses. “Can’t say I was expecting a Terminator to answer my help wanted add but you look beefy enough to toss hay bales and I suppose that’s all that matters. Welcome to Clintucky.”

“Welcome to–” Bucky looked down at the outstretched hand and then back up at the guy. “Sorry, what? Welcome to where?”

“Clintucky.” he said again, as if the word explained anything at all. “You know, like Kentucky, except my name’s Clint, not Ken, so it’s Clintucky.”

“Clintucky.”

“Oh right, right I’m bad at this, let me try again.” He cleared his throat and offered his hand again. “Name’s Clint and this is my farm. You lookin’ for work for the summer?”

“Uh… yes?” Bucky reached out and shook Clint’s hand. “Yes I am.”

“Great.” Clint looked so relieved it almost worried Bucky. “Cos I’ve got about a billion things needin’ done round here. I can’t pay you a whole lot but you can sleep in the house and use my truck and all that. We can switch off making meals if that’s your thing. Gotta be up with sunrise which is a bitch, but I make great coffee. You allergic to anything? Cats? Dogs? Milk?”

“…no.”

“Well then great! You can start in the morning!” Clint was practically beaming at him, and then– “Oh shit, I am bad at this. What did you say your name was?”

“Bucky.” he said slowly, and Clint turned that megawatt grin up a couple notches in brightness. “Bucky Barnes.”

“Alright then Bucky Barnes. Welcome to Clintucky. Lookin’ forward to working with you.”

Bucky couldn’t help his own begrudging smile, or the way his eyes lingered at the pull of faded flannel on Clint’s shoulders, the strain at the seam of his jeans as the farmer crouched back down to swoop up another runaway chick.

“Lookin’ forward to working with you too.”

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Fairest of Them All (Eleven)

A quick reminder, this is not a family friendly version of Snow White. Lots of people die in this chapter once the soldiers catch up with Stuckony and The Apple comes into play and Tony’s Alphas do exactly what you’d expect them to do when it comes to protecting their mate.

TW for violence I suppose, but Tony’s show of magic is WONDERFUL if I do say so myself.

Enjoy!

SNOW WHITE MASTERLIST HERE

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The village was different in every way from Natasha’s camp and Tony’s eyes were wide as they walked the horses down the center road. There were mated couples strolling hand in hand with none of the rush present in the rebel camp. No community garden in sight since the shops were supplied by the farms in the plains, and the town well seemed like more of a gathering place versus a necessity.

The signs of an unforgiving winter were still present nearly everywhere– the shops as heavily insulated as they could be with makeshift materials, the vegetables from the plains small from lack of sunlight. Several hanging signs were cracked from past ice, trees bent and twisted beneath remembered snow, and Tony saw sign of frostbite scar on more than a handful of Alphas.

But what caught and kept his attention were the young people, the children playing along the banks of the small river that wound close to the town or chasing each other around the well. They were laughing, shouting, clapping in excitement and squealing in delight at at any which thing they found to hold their interest, eyes bright with happiness because it was warm and flowers were blooming for the first time in their short lives.

They were beautiful, and Tony’s hand went to his heart over an unexpected pang.

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genuinelysurpriseditsbutter

6 years ago

this was for an aquarium

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6 years ago

I remember seeing them perform this live on my campus.. My jaw dropped within 10 seconds.

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genuinelysurpriseditsbutter

6 years ago

I didn’t know cheetahs meow I’ve always thought they roar my whole life has been a lie

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genuinelysurpriseditsbutter

7 years ago

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

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4 years ago

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6 years ago

I thought it couldn’t be that funny, but man was I wrong

Beach Boys - Wouldn’t It Be Nice From Another Room

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5 years ago

Shadowed Heart/Winter Souls (Chapter Twenty-Three)

MASTERLIST

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“Signore Carbonell Stark.” The butler waved the footman away and opened the carriage door himself, bowing at the waist to offer a polite, “Welcome home to Italia, how was your journey?”

“Tiresome, thank you.” Tony smiled at the man, grateful he had been willing to travel from the Stark estate in Brescia to meet the carriage here at the home in the hills behind Chioggia. “It’s good to see you, Jarvis.”

“E ‘bello vederti, Antonio.” Jarvis broke into a smile and clapped Tony’s shoulder lightly, all the worry lines accumulated in the last year of hearing nothing from the young master washing away in mere seconds. “It is good to see you as well.”

Tony turned back to the carriage and held out his hand for Natalia. “This is my wife, the Lady Natalia Romanova-Stark. And our ward–” he tugged Natalia to the side and held out his hand for Wanda as she departed the carriage as well. “Signorina Wanda Maximoff, and her brother, Pietro Maximoff.”

“Welcome.” Jarvis bent low over Natalia’s hand to kiss her knuckles, and offered the same treatment to Wanda. “Benvenuta. I am most pleased to meet you all.”

Pietro came down the stairs stiffly, painfully, and Jarvis neatly side stepped the women to wrap his arm around Pietro’s waist and help him to the ground, not so much as blinking at the sight of bandages that covered most of Pietro’s head, or the gauze on his fingers and up along most of his arm.

“Be very careful, Signore Pietro Maximoff.” Jarvis said lightly. “I would be very disappointed if you spilt blood on my beautiful stone path, I finished scrubbing them this morning.”

Pietro blinked his one uncovered eye at Jarvis, and when the elderly butler only grinned, Pietro’s lips tugged up in a reluctant smile as well.

“What Jarvis means is that he found a local boy who wanted a few coins and was willing to scrub stones all day.” Tony informed them. “Since I am no longer home to cause mischief and earn my way into ridiculous chores as punishment, he has had to resort to hiring help for the more unpleasant cleaning.”

“Your butler made you do chores, Antonio?” Wanda wondered, hoisting her own small traveling bag and collecting Natalia’s as well. “And you obliged him?”

“Jarvis is much more than my butler.” Tony hooked Natalia’s hand through his arm, leaning into kiss her temple when she didn’t say anything. “He was my body guard, he kept me from trouble, drove me places when I was young, covered for my–” a quiet cough. “–indiscretions.”

“Taught the boy to hide love bites with a touch of powder and blush.” Jarvis continued, ignoring Tony’s embarrassed squawk and focusing instead of helping Pietro over the stones to the house. “Fixed clothing when Antonio ran off and got into a mess instead of sitting quietly in the parlor, ensured he could at least act the part of a nobleman even if he was truly a hellion. Taught him to handle a rifle, to assemble a pistol before famiglia Beretta took him into their work space.”

Jarvis sent Tony a smile over Pietro’s head. “Taught him to throw a punch, though he hasn’t used the knowledge near as often as I’d like.”

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genuinelysurpriseditsbutter

9 months ago

If you see this on your dashboard, reblog this, NO MATTER WHAT and all your dreams and wishes will come true.

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5 years ago

Shadowed Hearts/Winter Souls (Chapter Seventeen)

MASTERLIST

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“Come home with me.” “What d’ya mean, come home with you.” James scoffed, blowing on his fingers to warm them enough to roll his cigarette. “Why would I do that?” “I dunno.” Stevie dropped onto the ground next to James and knocked their knees together. “Cos you should come ‘round and meet my Ma. S’just a few miles away and the Commander says us boys who live close enough to go home for Christmas can go. Want you to come with me.” “Don’t like moms.” James grunted and Steve knocked at him again. “Cut it out, Stevie. Gonna make me spill this.” “Give it here.” Stevie took the cigarette away from James and rolled it himself, quickly and efficiently. “And you do like moms, so quit lyin’ and come on.” “Stevie–” “Bucky.” Stevie glanced around to be sure they were alone, then leaned in and covered James’s mouth with his own for a long, lingering kiss. “C’mon baby. We can sleep on a real bed and be warm and dry and, you know–” a shy smile. “Almost two years we’ve been together and it’s about time my parents should meet the fella I’m gonna spend my life with, you know?” “Oh yeah?” The words came out a little hoarse, James’s annoyance of the nickname Bucky washed away by the love shining from those beautiful blue eyes. “You gonna spend your life with me, Stevie?” “So long as you don’t drag me back to Russia with you.” Steve inched closer and kissed James again. “You think you could stay around here with me? Learn to farm and all that? I’d let you chase me naked through th’corn fields and do all sortsa dirty things to me.”

James burst into startled laughter and Steve lunged forward with a kiss to shut him up. “Come home with me.” He breathed when they parted for air. “I love you, Buck, and I wanna spend this Christmas with you, with my fella. It’ll be the first of a hundred more we’ll have together.”

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