Dildo Generator

this was for an aquarium

The way in the last half a second it starts walking and you can hear his scream really ties this video together

this is the money dog, repost in the next 24 hours and money will come your way!!

Every Version of You (Spideypool)

Uh yes. Tissues? Also, blame @paranormalmoonlight5 and THIS post for this whole thing. I didn’t have to write it angsty but I 100% did and I regret nothing. 

Seriously tissues. TW Character (Wade) Death but since its a multiverse sort of thing, the ending is still okay 

THERE’S MORE SPIDEYPOOL ON MY MASTERLIST!

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The apartment building wasn’t as nice as the one Peter and Wade shared in their universe, and Peter looked around the lobby curiously.

It was the same building– same address, same double door entrance, the lady at the front desk was still blonde and sort of shockingly busty- but it just wasn’t as nice. The rich brown tone looked about fifteen years past needing a repaint and the tiles on the floor were cracked and dingy. More than a few lights were out, several of the mailboxes bent and busted open and the elevator made a truly terrifying screech as it came to rest at the bottom floor. 

Peter got in the elevator car anyway, because it wasn’t every day he ended up blipped into a side universe and he wasn’t about to waste the opportunity to explore. Mr. Stark would be furious when he found out Peter had tested the travel chamber on himself, but Peter had very carefully set the timer for no more than three hours before he faded back to his own timeline, and he was only walking the familiar parts of this version of New York, so realistically, he was being as safe about this whole thing as he could be, right?  

Right. 

Plus, he was curious about this version of himself, curious about this version of Spider-man and curious about whether this him had met and fallen in love with one loud mouth, spandex clad, disaster of a mercenary as well and the only way to satisfy all that curiosity was to go and find out. 

So here he was in an alternate timeline, parallel universe, multi-something or other where apparently, the elevator button for the fifteenth floor had been so badly abused the entire thing fell right off and bounced on the dirty carpet when Peter pushed at it. 

Alright, so this universe had seen better days. Noted and noted. 

The hall of the fifteenth floor was dim, the numbers hanging haphazardly from various doors and the floor stained with something Peter wasn’t even going to begin to think about. He couldn’t help but wonder who owned the building and why it was in such bad repair, did this universe have different stands for apartment buildings? His own place wasn’t exactly the Ritz, but at least all the lights worked and there wasn’t –ick– rats in the hallway. 

When Peter got to the apartment that was theirs in his own universe, his key slid right into the lock, but then caught and stuck as if it hadn’t been used for some time. That most likely meant this Peter and Wade didn’t feel the need to obsessively lock their doors like he did, which was…odd… considering how gross the building was. 

Peter hadn’t actually planned this far ahead in his little jaunt through alternate timelines, he hadn’t thought about what he would do if he opened the door and Wade was in the apartment or he himself was in the apartment– what a weird conversation that would be. 

Although, if they had figured out the whole multiverse thing on his end, surely other Peter Parker’s had figured it out too, so maybe he wouldn’t be as surprised to see himself standing there as he thought he would be?

The convoluted thought made Peter smile, so he opened the door and peeked his head around into the apartment, more than ready for a look at another version of his own life. 

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[AVENGERS SPOILER WARNING] If I Was Scarlet Witch… Just Gonna Mask My Emotions with Jokes 💥 (FX: Caleb Natale)

Fairest of Them All (Six)

SNOW WHITE MASTERLIST HERE

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“He was heading for the coast.” Steve rasped through a split lip and a quickly bruising eye, held in place by chains and a collar wrapped round his neck and secured to the wall, head forced up by Obadiah’s grip at his chin. “When we ran into each other he was– he was heading the same way I’d come from. Towards the coast.” 

Sunset stared at him for several minutes, searching the Alpha’s face for any sign of deceit, any hint he might be lying to try and protect his mate but Steve was too exhausted to try that sort of thing. The mate sickness had set in hard now that he didn’t even have blankets scenting like the Omega Prince to keep it at bay, and his body was beaten down, worn from four days in the dark dungeons with little food or water. 

“If you’re lying, I’ll kill you.” she finally said and Obadiah let go of the other Alpha with a frustrated snarl, shoving him back against the rough wall. “Do you hear me, Alpha Prince? I have no qualms about ending your life, I don’t care what it will do to the Omega.” 

“I’m not lying.” Steve hung his head, chains clanking as he wrapped his arms around his midsection. “We didn’t talk much when we were together–” Obadiah snorted something no doubt vulgar and Steve cringed away from the sound. “–but he talked about the water and flowers and having a responsibility to his Kingdom. Then in the morning he headed towards the coast.” 

Apparently satisfied that Steve was speaking truth enough, Sunset sniffed and turned away, skirts whirling about her ankles and jewelry clinking at her wrists as she snapped her fingers at the guard. “Do not increase his rations until I say so. And not a word to anyone else about who he is, do you understand?” 

“Yes ma’am.” the guard averted his gaze from Sunset, uncomfortable with the burnt scent of her magic that follower her through the air. “No increase in rations, not a word to anyone else.” 

“Obadiah!” Sunset called for him over her shoulder on her way out of the dungeons, but the Regent King ignored her, his eyes firmly trained on the Alpha in the cell. 

“When you were with my nephew–” he began, not missing the way Steve tensed in his chains. “–did you notice anything odd about him?” 

“He’s perfect.” Steve said warily. “Why?” 

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what do you consider your gender to be?

hi! thanks for asking, the ans-

“…well.”

“This probably isn’t good.”

Imma show off my aggressive pride flags before pride month ends.