Hey. Im One Of The People Who Does A Specific And Noticable Thing Right After You Wake Up So You Realize

Excerpts for a 1920's newspaper during the Spanish Flu

also "ough life-saving essential medical equipment uses so much plastic" in this country you can purchase an artificial ballsack for your pickup truck

do *you* think with your dick?

I think with my packer

THIS IS SO CUTE :((((

i crave to hold you in my arms and kiss your precious little face. ur touch on my ribs i will love eternally.

Lonesome cowboy with a heart of gold affirmations:

I am the most sincere patron of this saloon.

My haggard look is offset by the charming glint in my eyes.

While I do wear a gun, it weighs heavy on my belt and has never been drawn in anger.

My horse may be my only friend, but what true friends we are.

The clink of my bright silver spurs along the boardwalk draws many a lustful gaze.

preserving this video at all costs to teach future generations what twitter was like

Strange Bird

This is what I think would happen if Dave raised Dirk

Here’s a thing that happened to one of my friends. I was there.

Basically, we were walking down the sidewalk, talking about something meaningless. I think it had to do with a movie. Then this bus screeches up, stops next to us, and a bunch of people with “Down with Cis” shirts climbed out and started beating him up. I was punched and kicked a bit too, but I managed to avoid brutalization by going for their faces. After figuring out what’s happening, I started attacking them back, getting them off of him. He was quite injured but I called 911 and he made a full recovery at the hospital. I was fine, with only a cut on my arm that they patched up.