No One Asked Volcano If It Hurts To Erupt.

Curses

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Tim and Jason are currently in a tentative truce/alliance, and despite their history their loyalty to this truce is locked the fuck down. they REFUSE to wrong the other or partake in any kinda shenanigan bullshit that could effect the other, to the point where while at first the others were just relieved the two were bonding after their colourful first start, at this point they’re just concerned about the closeness of the two most feral members of the family; wondering if this alliance should be something to fear.

the reason for this alliance, is because both Tim and Jason realised very shortly after coming into contact with each other that neither of them has any sense of self control when it comes to being spiteful or petty. Jason has had 90% of his will to give a fuck and his self preservation stripped away from him via Lazarus pit and the other 10% clearly didn’t exist anyway(see: stealing Batman’s tires and hitting him with a tire iron when caught). Tim meanwhile is completely feral regardless; he had to have no boundaries to survive with less-than-present parents and surviving a grieving Bruce’s version of Robin-training. plus the whole business with the LOA and Ra’s? his sense of escalation got lost in the fray years ago.

the issue with this, the two found out shortly after Jason first started interacting with the kid, is that them fighting in any way starts to become like a pushing-two-magnets situation. neither of them have ever come across somebody with as little sense of control as they have, so neither of them ever consider backing down from any kind of battle or feud. they find the dangers of this when Jason trips Tim in the hall and within 12 hours it’s escalated to Tim shooting a bazooka into Jason’s favourite safe house while Jason sets fire to Drake manor, framing Tim for insurance fraud in the process.

any kind of battle of spite between the two has no visible end, and it wont even occur to either of them for a second to back down or apologise, simply because fuck it amiright?

Alfred finds them one day in the kitchen engaging in a ‘water fight’ with special metal water-guns that spew acid. Jason has been stabbed at some point, and is bleeding onto the floor. He only seems to recognise this injury in the perimeters of using it against Tim by swiping the blood across the floor to make him slip. Tim has barbed wire in his hair and a clearly dislocated shoulder but he’s ice skating in that blood towards Jason without a single beat missed. Alfred gets them to stop specifically to clean up his goddam kitchen, and, while they guiltily clean, he finds out the root cause of this fight.

the night before, Tim stole Jason’s pencil. that’s it.

slightly terrified for the well-being on his grandsons, he spends the rest of the day acting as a peace-maker/lawyer to draft up an ‘alliance contract’ between the two, knowing that the only way to keep them safe from both themselves and each other is to make them a team, forever and unbreakably loyal towards each other. it takes a sleepless night to draft up all the details but he convinces the two to sign it, making it both a bat-pact, a blood-pact, and a legal document. it is the most important document in the manor, and Alfred hides it in his own personal quarters just to ensure it is kept safe.

because of the contract Jason and Tim are no longer allowed to engage in any kind of fight. any kind of disagreement, no matter how little, must be brought to Alfred, something he knows he’ll lose sleep over but at least Tim and Jason will be safe- it also gives them incentive to compromise with each other because if they don’t then one of them will have to wake Alfred up in the middle of the night just to ask which one of them gets the last of the cereal. they have to become a duo, loyal to each other first and foremost and always reliable enough that the other can turn to them in need. it becomes a very serious deal, and after realising the danger their fights could potentially put the family in(Tim tried to poison Jason’s food once but failed to account for Dick stealing Jason’s food like a normal big brother would), they decide they need to take this alliance up with the upmost sincerity.

for the good of Gotham.

nobody else in the family is sure as to why the fuck ‘team red’ suddenly became such a constant rock-hard alliance between the two brothers, but Alfred has never been more relieved.

Dude! I totally forgot to post some stuff. But here's more tango!! This is more of a hermitcraft vibe then life series

facts (?) i have learnt about etho

- lives in the middle of nowhere in snow

- his gaming setup is incredibly cursed

- these revelations about his setup confirm that he does in fact have at least 2 arms. unsure about legs.

- his headphones are cursed in ways i don’t want to think about. but this is Proof he does in fact have a head

- a kid recognised him from his voice

- he hates onions

- used to help with his parent’s plant nursery business before it closed

- helped a girl out of her car after an accident

- has multiple generators

- doesn’t have a phone 😭😭

- probably chops wood and digs ditches?

- he still uses double tap to sprint

- a plastic bag once got stuck under his car and got burnt and stunk his car up for months

- he gets a nosebleed when he drinks carbonated drinks

- he had a cat named snuggles or snuckles who kiLLED A DUCK

- he likes baked potato but it’s actually baked in the MICROWAVE. for 3 hours?????

- a moose once broke his fence

- a moose once bit his sister (?)

- he went camping in the rocky mountains and messed up his ankles

- he likes peanut butter on bananas but he dropped it once but ate it anyway

- he made fireworks in his garage when he was younger and burnt a hole in a table

- he got stopped in an airport for having a BB gun i think it was

- his stopped uploading videos during the olympics. i don’t think this is a coincidence. i believe he is in the national hockey team. i have no proof.

- he is ripped with a 6 pack??

- he didn’t get vaccinated for a while when he was a kid?????

- he can make a popping noise by sticking his pinky finger in his ear

- always wears socks but hates sandals. not sure about the verdict on socks + sandals

- he can rotate his feet over 180 degrees. i think someone said it was 300 degrees but the thought of that makes me uncomfortable

- he likes the colour Green

you are transgender because you want to live.

you are transgender because you want to live.

you are transgender because you want to live.

you are transgender because you want to live.

you are transgender because you want to live.

if you’re transgender you have to live no matter what.

Trick or treat stinky >:

Trick, baby threw up on your shoes

Not made by me, but ethosary,,,,

I've decided I must learn how to juggle. It is a needed and necessary skill

BEHOLD!!!!

you're telling me a shrimp fried this rice?

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