You Pretend To Be A Small-time Villain. At Most, You Annoy The Local Supers, But Your Crimes Never Hurt

I don’t give a fuck about canon, Frodo, Kili, and fili are and forever will be cousins in my eyes

Matt McCreary

I was playing a farming Sim game. I gave gifts to a lot of different characters and accidentally unlocked the romance route with so many different people that whenever I talked to one of them in town, a whole swarm of other characters would start beating them up.

Artemis

i love how Gandalf invested in Hobbits in year one and has been pushing them ever since. Thorin, i hear you need help with a breaking and entering. Can I recommend one of these little cunts? Silent as fuck, trust me. Elrond my dude i know you're skeptical but these four chucklefucks just transported a weapon of mass destruction all the way here. Theoden, you've gotta get yourself a hobbit man, I've got a spare one here. Denathor you big prick, take a hobbit - literally this is the bottom of the range but listen to him sing. Beautiful little bastard.

my only issue with tumblr is that every time I go to the tags it is at precisely the time the heart from me liking the same post gets to that spot

The King Under the Mountain

Thorin tries to use the "I am the King Under The Mountain" line on Bilbo during an argument and Bilbo raises an eyebrow and gives him such a Look that Thorin immediately apologizes so he doesn't end up King Sleeping on the Couch Tonight

I love that canonically Sauron is an arts and crafts enjoyer like RIP Sauron my king you would've fucking loved the hot glue gun

Little pond