‘s Okay

September is suicide prevention month. Reblog if your blog always supports anyone with a mental illness.

is it so bad?

ft. the haitani brothers

notes. i’m so sorry if you’re seeing this a second time. had to do a reupload. saw violet’s pervert collab and immediately thought of stepbro! ran n rin. i was originally going to end this fic before it got explicit but then i got horny. that is how the porn came to be. blocking ppl that don’t reach the age requirement below or have no age indicator on their blog. i’m serious. don’t test me. i will block every single one of you mfs

wc. 8.5k

cw. dark content. 18+ MDNI & ageless/blank blogs! stepcest, dubcon, coercion, praise, oral, overstimulation, masturbation (m), penetrative sex, loss of virginity, brief mentions of domestic abuse, depictions of a panic attack, creepy n gross behavior, gaslighting, fem! reader plus you’re shorter than both of them

summary. your mom got remarried and she’s happily in love with her new husband, and you’re happy with your new stepdad who’s nice and treats you like a daughter, but the pair of older brothers you got doesn’t sit well with you

tagging. @iz-ana bc you said you were excited about this :’) @priestesstoru i had fun writing this violet! thank you for hosting a wonderful collab bby!! @bxnten here you are cat! @thetempleofnyx n @festive bc they beta read yet another mess. @cherrykamado @tokyoredlightdistrict

you remember the day your dad left, remember how it destroyed your mom and reduced her to the empty husk of a vibrant woman she used to be.

they were arguing, so loudly that you could hear them from upstairs, and it left you trembling in fear underneath the blankets.

wanting your mom’s comfort, you mustered up the courage to leave their bedroom and head downstairs, peeking your head around the corner to see them in each other’s faces yelling up a storm. she told you to go to your room and you didn’t listen, of course, because you were too scared to be alone, and then your dad slammed his fists on the dining table and picked something up.

the memory turns fuzzy after that, scene wiped clean from your mind to a blank slate, a blank page, a completely white background.

when he left, he took with him your childhood experience of growing up with a father figure and two happily married parents.

what he took from your mom was her entire heart, held it in his hands, stole it from her just to squeeze it in her face, until it stopped beating and shriveled up into itself, and he knew that would do the job. knew her heart was too soft for the roughness of his hands.

she loved him dearly, and when she loves, she can’t help but to give all of herself until there’s nothing left.

seeing the way she was discarded by someone she loved and who was supposed to love her back just as much, you guess that’s why you grew up a little cynical and callous.

she broke down after that incident, and as a result of shock and heartbreak, entered a depressive episode.

you also think that’s why you matured much faster than other kids your age. with her out of commission, it was up to you to take care of her, so from a young age, you learned how to do all those menial chores that kept the house running.

if you didn’t do that, no one else would have helped.

people have their fair share of difficulties trying to navigate through life, trying to survive. so although the adults at school and around your neighborhood saw how you struggled, how you were always alone, and how your mother never left the house, they didn’t do a thing, and you couldn’t blame them, to an extent.

it would have been nice if they offered any small aid they could provide.

you taught yourself things like cooking, cleaning, grocery shopping, financing the money that was left, and if you needed help, you would ask the neighbors, like how to use coupons at the store to save money and how to work the laundry machine. sometimes they’d be nice enough to give you the leftovers of their dinner.

it didn’t matter that your family was barely scraping by or that you had more burdens on your shoulders because your mother never left. she was still with you, didn’t abandon or hand you over to someone else, and that’s the thing you’re most grateful for.

because she’s the only family you have left.

giving her the space she needed but pushing for the betterment of her health when it was neglected, weeks went by like that, and you got better at doing the chores with each passing day. the bandaids on your hands lessened, your sloppy knife work got better, your knowledge on  seasonings, flavors  and what mixed together nicely, got better too, the best items to buy on sale, what time is the best to go.

then one day, three months after he left, she took a look at herself in the mirror, walked out of her room and saw you standing on a stool to cook your own food, bare of meat or eggs, only rice and veggies and seasonings.

something in her broke a second time as her face fell, and she cried, rushed over to turn off the stove and embrace you, apologizing for being a bad mother and for taking away precious time from your childhood. you patted her back and eased her worries, said how happy you were that she was back again, hugging her tightly.

soon enough, she snapped out of that rut, got a job, and worked hard on supporting you both after your dad cut off contact.

that’s why you’re happy she found someone again.

you like your mom’s new boyfriend. he sounds like a nice person, and from the few times you’ve seen them together, they’re so in love.

he’s kind to her and a gentleman, in every sense of the word. pulls her chair out before she sits down, opens the door for her, holds her purse, shopping bags, and hands, even kisses the back gently. he looks at her like she’s the only person in the world, talks about her like she’s his soulmate, and your mom gushes about him like she’s the one still in high school, not you.

they met during your senior year, about two months before you graduated, when you were focused on quadratics, the sengoku period, physics, and english compositional phrases.

your mom brought up a man she met at a coffee shop who she clicked instantly with. rambled about his brown eyes, black hair, how nice he smelled, how nice he was, how his smile reveals  a dimple in his right cheek, and how they keep bumping into each other throughout the city. be it the mall, a clothing store, a restaurant, the grocery store, or a café.

she looked the happiest you last saw her.

a month of their fated encounters, she would call them this, and he asked her out. thus began weeks of dates where they’d stay out until 10 before he drove her home and walked her right up to the front door.

before he left, he would linger because of her whining about wanting to spend more time together.

you would hear them during your study nights, giggling at the entrance of your house, saying their goodbyes but not yet separating until an hour later, a loud smooch on the lips to show that he was making his way out.

speaking of chance meetings, you had one yourself with a troublesome pair of boys at the convenience store about three streets down.

you were shopping for snacks, candy, and coffee when you bumped into someone turning a corner and dropped all of your stuff. crouching down to pick it all up, you accidentally touched the hand of whoever you knocked into, and the drop of your stomach at the contact—his hands are so cold—made you jolt back.

purple eyes stared at you. hauntingly dull before an impish sheen overtook them and he smiled, eyes brightening instantly. “are you okay? i’m sorry about bumping into you.”

you didn’t like that, how his eyes shined after being so dull didn’t sit right in your gut. it almost felt like he had something to hide, like something evil and vile was simmering behind those bright eyes of his.

clearing your throat, you told him it wasn’t a problem and went back to picking up what dropped from your basket.

on the final item, your hand reached out to a bag of chips that flew near a pair of white sneakers.

another set of eyes, more chilling than the last, landed on you. goosebumps rose as the hairs on your nape stood on end, and you realized quickly what type of people you bumped into.

when you looked up, dark, murky, completely void eyes stared back at you, and you shivered because that didn’t look like they belonged to a teenager, lavender irises and dark pupils that appeared ominous and daunting, dead yet haughty.

if eyes are the window to the soul, then you think the two boys there were fucked up.

his feet didn’t move but he glanced to where your hand was reaching for the chip bag before bouncing back to you, downturned edge of his lips prominent in a frown.

his eyes spoke for himself. what are you waiting for? clean up your mess.

that chilling glare caused more shivers to wrack your spine. he looked at you like you were beneath him, like you were a bug he stepped on, like he was looking past your flesh and skin, bones and tissues to see what laid at the center.

you dropped your gaze so quick to hastily grab the foil bag. just as you got up, your basket was handed back to you by the boy from earlier. “here you are. sorry again about bumping into you.”

“oh, it’s no problem! thank you for picking up my stuff.” you bowed your head in gratitude and he did the same while the other boy next to him never stopped his glaring.

the kinder boy smiled a little wider. “you’re welcome! see you next time,” and they both left the store with drinks in hand.

you stared a moment at the door because what did he mean ‘next time?’ did they frequent this convenience store? if so, you probably shouldn’t come here anymore. you definitely don’t want to meet them again.

the second boy was unnerving, but you think the first boy was just as scary, even if he did come off polite. he reminded you of those oni festival masks with the big smile, set of sharp teeth, and horns.

kind people who almost come off teasing like him aren’t up to any good. the little nice act, mask, facade, whatever it is they have going on, is nothing but a cheap sham.

they’re actually the meanest in a group of bullies.

but anyways, shaking off the eerie feeling you got from them, you tried hurrying home. it was nearing ten and you needed to see your mom home, wanted to make sure that she came back safe.

you made your way to the cashier, but a hand on your shoulder stopped you in place.

you jumped a little at the harsh touch and turned around, coming face to face with the manager. “are those boys your friends? they left my store without paying, and that was alcohol they had in their hands. are you all old enough to drink?”

yeah, they’re definitely no good, and you are absolutely never returning to this convenience store again. you shouldn’t have ditched the one closest to your house for a relaxing night stroll in the first place. how stupid of you, and now you got yourself in this mess.

it isn’t until a week later that you find out what the taller boy meant.

your mom told you that she and her boyfriend, sakuya, are thinking of getting married, which lead you all to this restaurant you’re at now, her and you kneeled on one side of the low table while him and his two sons, the two boys from the convenience store, are on the other side.

“these are my sons ran and rindou.” he points to the shorter one with blonde hair that falls just past his shoulders. “rindou here is the youngest.” then he brings his hand to rindou’s hair and ruffles it, laughing joyfully like rindou doesn’t look like he’s close to killing the poor man.

ran gives you a smile and a wave, props his head on his hands and asks you what your name is. you give it to him.

what is he doing? why is he acting like you haven’t met before, especially after what they subjected you to back at the convenience store?

you were taken to the police station for underage drinking. after an hour long interrogation of whether or not you really knew the boys, even though you’ve said a thousand times already that you didn’t, and a phone call to your mom that had her in hysterics, you finally came home around midnight.

with hours left before school, you couldn’t afford to pull an all nighter so your homework assignments were rushed for at least a few hours of sleep.

you barely got a passable grade.

however, watching sakuya with a closer eye, seeing the way he looks at her like she’s the only thing he needs, you rule that he really is the nice person your mom said he was. they usually drive around town doing whatever when they go on dates, and he doesn’t really spend any time in your house. your interactions mostly consist of greetings and farewells, so you couldn’t deem him worthy before.

dinner passes with light conversation from rindou who mostly ate in silence, ran who talked your ear off, and your mom mostly talking to their dad.

after that day, sakuya started hanging around the house more and his two sons would join him so all of you could have dinner together.

you moved into their house after the remarriage.

so again, you love your mom’s boyfriend. really, you do. but his sons. they’re horrible people. you don’t know how a man like that raised the atrocities that are ran and rindou.

they pull at your hair, say mean things, and annoy you when you don’t do what they want. so much so that you almost cry in frustration most times because they won’t leave you the fuck alone, and every time you bring their behavior up to your mom, ran turns into an angel, turns into a good big brother and treats you nicely. rindou trails after him and follows his lead, then you’re the one who’s too nervous and anxious of the change.

“it’s okay, baby. you’re family now.”

you cried in the bathroom after they exchanged their vows because while that’s a seal of their marriage, it’s also a seal to your fate with the brothers, who you’re stuck with now, legally and metaphorically.

and to prove this fact, ran and rindou were waiting outside the door for you. said that you’re being too bitter, and to be happier for your parents.

when you graduate high school, you get ushered to applying for the college ran and rindou attend. your mom says that it gives her relief knowing that you’ll be kept safe with your new older brothers by your side, and you nearly screamed at her obliviousness.

you don’t like ran and rindou at all.

sometimes, you feel like there’s something more to their teasing. like how ran pushed you, close to tears, into calling him “ran-nii,” and the tight grip of his hand, the dilation of his pupils, when you finally did. how rindou’s eyes finally lit up and sparkled, looked alive, when they both made you cry. how rindou got nicer after you called him “rin-nii” and asked for help against ran.

another thing you don’t like about them is how creepy they are. ever since you moved in, you’ve noticed a few of your things go missing. some panties and bras, your favorite perfume bottles or lotions. you’ve caught a whiff of your perfume in ran’s room, seen your underwear laying on rindou’s bed, peeking out from under his blanket, your missing lotion bottle on his dresser and used, all when you walked past their rooms, door ajar.

when you try to bring up your missing bottles of perfume and lotion to your parents, they laugh and say that it just means ran and rindou love you that much as their little sister.

“they think it smells nice and just want to borrow it, honey.”

when you brought up the situation with your underwear, a search through their rooms turned up nothing, but a search through yours showed that all your missing underwear was in your dresser, misplaced in your socks drawer.

“baby, you know it’s wrong to accuse people of serious things like that. panty and bra thieves, which you know isn’t true? that could ruin their reputation if it reached people outside of our home.”

you know, but your underwear really was missing and you honestly did see it in their rooms. when you looked up from where you were sitting at ran and rindou, menacing grins were etched on their faces.

oh, they really did steal my underwear. they’re just fucking messing with me. that thought had your jaw tightening and teeth grinding in anger. and your hatred , but mostly fear, of them only grew from there.

they walk you to school everyday, when you finally get accepted—they chose your classes and made sure it fit with their schedules. ran is a senior and rindou is a junior, and you’re a freshman who makes a name for herself as ‘the haitani brothers’ little sister.’

they drag you to their hang out spots, parties, study sessions, and lunch, everything that they have a hand in at school, their precious baby sister has to go with them. their friends and every guy on campus knows not to mess with you or even come near you, knows not to lay a hand on you either. the girls who like them approach you often to get their numbers, or try to make you play matchmaker, but ran and rindou always drag you away before you can agree.

they know that you’d gladly get them girlfriends if it means they’d leave you alone.

there are some days you’re free of them, such as days where your friends are free to hang out, when you have group projects or assignments, and when ran and rindou have their own internships and projects.

you can’t be left alone anymore, lest ran and rindou bug you if you are.

your parents love seeing you three together, thinks ran and rindou are being good big brothers and that you’re all bonding. furthermore, your parents have more time for each other. their dad looks the happiest and most clueless but occasionally, your mom looks at you in confusion, and she analyzes your reactions.

if you’re both so close, why do you constantly flinch in their presence? why do you look so distraught and scared of being dragged around by them? why do you often lock yourself in your room like something bad will happen if you don’t? you didn’t use to do that before, and why does her stomach feel heavy whenever she sees you left alone with them?

(a mother’s instincts can never be wrong.)

but all of those questions slip her mind when she feels the warm hands at  her sides  pulling her in for a hug, and she melts into the touch, forgetting  about your problems all together when sakuya kisses her.

your pleading eyes get overlooked when he whisks her away to their shared room.

ran and rindou’s father is nice and kind, really he is, but god is he stupid. how can you live with two monsters and not get cold feet? not get a sharper sense of trouble? an instinctual ping of “you feel like something bad is gonna happen?”

how can you not check in on your sons and see the lies that they spin, the little horns on their heads, the brewing storm of violence and destruction in their eyes?

you’re glad that you lock your door every night without fail and that you hid the spare key to your room. you’re glad that your mom never decided to make a master key. you can sleep soundly and safe at night because you can hear the floor creaking, your doorknob rattling, and footsteps outside your door, a silhouette lurking underneath.

no, make that two.

ran is shameless. makes you freeze up in fear sometimes. he isn’t afraid to touch you or get close enough to groping you in public, underneath tables and in quiet places where it’s just the three of you.

when you end up in these situations  with them, you always make sure to turn it in your favor. someone forgot their stuff in the room? you ask what class they have next and walk out with them. when ran and rindou’s friends ask the three of you to eat lunch with them, you agree quickly and follow after them. the few friends you were able to make guide you out of their grasp when they want to hang out.

these fortunate disruptions have kept ran and rindou at bay, preventing them from getting bold enough to do more outside of your house, as your parents’ presence restrain them there.

but everything comes crashing down when your parents leave for a trip.

“are you sure that you don’t want to come with us? this could be our first family vacation.” your mom asks, putting on her straw sun hat and looking over her appearance in the mirror next to the front door where your step dad is loading their stuff into the car.

“we’re okay! you and dad should take the time to have a vacation just by yourselves. consider this your honeymoon!” ran exclaims.

your mom laughs. “alright then. take care of your sister you two. she gets lonely without me and when she’s by herself for too long, but she’s too stubborn to seek others out.”

she smiles fondly at you and pecks your cheek, the way she used to when it was just you and her, before the new addition, and you nearly cry, remembering the peaceful days without ran and rindou.

watching her walk away, leaving you alone with the brothers, you decide to abandon your previous inhibitions. if you went with them, there’d be countless times you’ll probably end up third wheeling them, but you don’t care.

you don’t think you can survive here, with them, by yourself.

opening your mouth, the words “i want to go too” are on the tip of your tongue, but rindou pinches you on the arm, right beside you, and your mouth shuts close as you suppress a yelp of pain.

missing your chance, you watch in anguish as she walks out the door, hand in sakuya’s, and shuts it behind her.

she’s gone. off to kyoto. you almost seeth in rage, mouth twisted into a snarl, but the pang of sadness in your heart makes the little hiccup of a sob leave your mouth instead, and tears dot along your eyes.

you can see how you’re slowly starting to lose your mom to your stepdad, and that is a depressing thought that has been weighing on your mind for the past month.

the house is quiet for a minute, neither of you moving. ran breaks the silence. “well then. that’s that.”

he takes your hand in his and starts tugging you towards the living room, rindou pushing you forwards from the back, but a knock at the door interrupts him.

ran clicks his tongue and frowns. you shiver at the look of annoyance on his face. very rarely do you see anything but a smile on his face, and now that you have seen it, you think he looks just as intimidating as rindou. there’s a vast difference in ran’s bubbly facade to his lax face, and if you’re being honest, you’d gladly prefer his smile anytime over his frowning face.

letting go of your hand, he walks to the door. when he opens it, you see a mop of brown hair skimming past his shoulders.

“hi ran! is your sister in?” it’s your friend, who came just in time to pick you up.

you texted her earlier asking if she wanted to hang out for the week, and if she wanted to have a sleepover too, as it is summer break. you and her can have the whole week to yourselves, which she agreed to.

with this, you hope you can avoid ran and rindou.

now there’s no one to stop them from doing what they want if you stayed home, and you think you know what it is that they want, the lingering touches and stares at your lips, chest, waist, and legs have told you enough.

if you want to remain safe and out of their clutches, then you need to spend as much time out of the house as you can.

ran opens his mouth, but his words don’t come out in time. “chiyu! come in!”

you walk past rindou and pull her inside. “me and chiyu are hanging out today, and i’m also spending the night at her house.”

looking at ran and rindou, you say this not as a question or to ask for permission, but as a notice.

you’re going to leave this house one way or another, you refuse to be confined and made vulnerable to them, and ran knows this, knows he can’t really do anything about it so he smiles again and tells you to go ahead. rindou says nothing on the matter, assuming that he has no problems with it.

when you take chiyu’s hand and turn your back to walk up the stairs, ran’s smile drops and rindou stares holes into the back of your head. you got yourself out of this one, but your luck is going to run out soon, they’ll make sure of that.

closing your door and locking it, you remove a duffel bag from your closet and start filling it with packed clothes, underwear, bras, and your toothbrush.

“your brothers always look so fine whenever i see them.”

your lips twist into a disgusted frown at that. “they’re really not.”

chiyu lays on your bed and takes out her phone. “alright then. whatever you say.” she turns back to you. “wait, why are you packing so many clothes?”

“oh, i was wondering if i could stay at your house for the whole week. it’s boring here without my mom and my brothers are annoying.” your voice sounds strained. chiyu wonders why but she doesn’t ask, doesn’t think much on why you hate ran and rindou so much.

“but won’t they tell your parents about it?”

you turn to her and the gentle, fond gleam of your eyes melts her heart a little. “what? you don’t want to spend the whole week with me? they take up so much of my time for these stupid ‘bonding’ activities, and i haven’t been able to hang out with you much.”

your voice is faint, as is the sad downturn of your smile, when you say, “i miss you, chiyu.”

her cheeks turn red and she pouts, turning back around to bury her head in her arms. clicking her tongue, she says softly, “alright. i got it.”

she scrolls through her feed in the meantime, kicking her feet back and forth in the air.

a beat of silence washes over your room as you pack. chiyu breaks the quiet at times when she giggles at something funny she found before showing you, taps into a video with sound, or when her keyboard clacks at a text she writes.

it’s relaxing not having ran and rindou breathing down your neck. the few days you get to yourself are sparse.

when you’re done, you zip up the bag and hoist it on your shoulder, grabbing chiyu’s hand to walk out together.

the days go by quick as you spend the majority of it with her and a few other friends. you watch movies with them, visit the beach, go to one of the summer festivals hosted this week, light up fireworks at night, eat at cafes and restaurants, have barbecues, and so much more.

you feel the burdens of your heart disintegrate into dust with each genuine laugh you give, with each smile you make, the big turn of your lips that make your teeth peek out. cheeky and gleeful. something you haven’t felt in a long time.

it feels good to be happy again.

chiyu’s parents were a little worried at first on whether the brothers would be okay with you sleeping over the entire week. they had no objections to your stay. however, a simple phone call to ran erased their worries, and like that you were set.

if you needed to come home to get something, you made sure to bring chiyu or one of your other friends over, so you wouldn’t be left alone with them, even for a second.

you might be a bit too paranoid, but you don’t care. better safe than sorry because you know all hell will break loose when you stay overnight at your house with just the three of you.

and you’re right, so right.

the tiny beats of your heart hurt your chest. you feel like it’ll explode into a million pieces if it goes any faster.

chiyu announces that she has to go visit her grandparents for the remainder of the week. numerous calls to your other friends inform you that they’ll all be out of their houses on a family trip. you debated on asking chiyu if you could come along for the visit but refrained from asking since she’s already let you stay over.

three days. just three days. can you even last that long fending for yourself?

“mhmm?”

ran pokes his head out from the kitchen when he hears the door lock turning and opening, seeing you step inside. “now what’s this? i thought you were gonna spend the whole week away.”

the glare you send him is deadly but ran has no problems with it. “change of plans.”

he thinks you look like a cute little chihuahua barking up a tree. “do you want to eat dinner together then?”

you haul your duffel bag up the stairs. “no thanks. i already ate and i’m full for the day.”

you’re actually not. your stomach grumbled as soon as you reached your room, but it’s okay. you ate breakfast at chiyu’s house before you left, and there’s a drawer full of snacks in your nightstand, a mini refrigerator that you begged your parents to buy, all so you can hunker down in your room for a situation like this.

the rest of the day goes by smoothly. you spend most of it going back and forth between your phone and your laptop watching shows, scrolling through your feed, going on youtube.

when it comes time to brush your teeth, you get a little nervous. you ran out of whitening strips, and your retainer went missing, so you had no alternative way to clean your teeth before going to sleep, which lead you to the bathroom.

fortunately, the door was right in front of your room, which made it easy for a quick and safe return, lest the shadows close on your heels overtook you.

once you locked the door again, a knock came before you could even reach the bed, and rindou’s low monotone voice flooded the other side. “we’re watching a movie. you wanna join?”

“no thanks.”

he dropped the conversation after that, walking back downstairs. rindou doesn’t try to convince or persuade you into doing things like ran does. he knows that when you say no, you mean it. you’re a little stubborn, but he guesses the reason why you’re so adamant on refusing them is because you hate them.

around five hours later, when the house is quiet and ran and rindou retired to their rooms long ago, after laying in bed on your phone, you get drowsy.

neon red numbers reading 12:00 beam at you.

it’s late and you should go to sleep. you need to wake up early for breakfast before they wake up. pulling the covers over your shoulder and putting your phone down, you close your eyes, but your peace doesn’t last long, because the doorknob jiggles again tonight but this time, you hear the lock tinkling and shifting.

you sit up, the slow beats of your heart intensifying as you realize that they’re going to pick your lock and force their way inside.

you jump out of bed, adrenaline rushing in your veins, helping the gears in your brain turn. you open the window. you might be on the second floor but it’s not much of a jump. the balcony stretches out beyond the front door and there’s a pipe next to it that you can climb down.

should you fall, there’s a thick bush beneath, but that’s not what you’re gonna do.

leaving the window wide open, you turn back around and tiptoe to the closet, opening the door a crack, making sure there’s no creak of the old wood, and climb inside. moving old blankets and stacked clothes to the side, you wiggle your way to the back and push the blankets and clothes in front of you to act as cover.

the lock clicks and the door swings open.

footsteps shuffle inside and walk to the window. you hold your breath as another pair of feet walk to the closet. the door swings open and all is quiet as either ran or rindou look inside.

a beat passes before you hear the window shut, the closet too, and their footsteps recede to the door. the room is silent once again. ran and rindou’s breath resonating throughout the empty space while you breathed slowly and quietly.

you can’t slip up, and you can’t relax yet. they’re still inside.

finally, your door opens and shuts, and the footsteps slowly disappear, but you’re too scared to leave, so you wait five minutes, slowly catching your breath, letting your body relax from its tight coil.

when your heart slows down, you start making your way out. pushing storage aside, you slowly move to the entrance. careful not to let any thuds, creaks, or scratches ring out.

since they’re gone, you can probably leave from the window now. the front door is too risky. they might even be searching all over the house.

if you grab the money in your nightstand drawer, you can rent a hotel room. you don’t want to enter the police station, they’ll just take you back home. hotels can be expensive though, so you’ll search for cheap rooms around the area on your phone. good thing your mom and stepdad gave you extra money for the three of you that you kept for yourself. ran and rindou don’t deserve it anyway. they can rot in hell for all—

the door creaks open once again.

“ah. there you are.”

the blood in your veins freeze over, and your body roots itself to the spot, paralyzed in fear. shakily, you bring your head up. two pairs of eyes watch you, waiting for your next move. panic erupts in your heart, growing with each tandem beat that echoes in your ears. the lump in your throat feels suffocating, and you almost feel like choking up.

ran and rindou are right there, and there is nowhere for you to run.

a shuddered breath leaves your mouth, and your heart plummets, small droplets of tears dot along your waterline, and ran reaches for you. that is when your body finally responds, fight or flight instincts kicked in. you jump back from the revolting touch, trying to scramble your way into the depths of the closet again.

don’t touch me. it’s a simple wish, a simple demand, an absolute right, but ran doesn’t care. he ignores you in favor of grabbing your forearm to stop your struggling and pull you out, or at least tries. because you push back with the same, if not more, force with all of your might.

your body scuffles against the floor of the closet and you think for a second that maybe you can fight them off. a baseball bat rests next to you on one side and an umbrella is on the other. grabbing any of these two items will give you a weapon to fight with and a higher chance of survival, but then rindou grabs your other arm just as you start to reach for the bat, and he pulls.

their strength is greater than yours, and the three of you come tumbling down.

you land on rindou.

raising your elbow, you try to smash that down into his ribs, break them and hopefully puncture a lung or stab into his heart, but ran catches you, loops his arms so he can hook yours onto them behind you.

during your struggling, you thrashed around and hit your cheek against ran’s head, and his grip loosened as you both bent over in pain.

the room is mostly silent, save for your breathing and groans, but something clicks in the deep recesses of your mind when you take in the situation with a calmer head, talking yourself down and holding your bruising cheek, you remember something.

the day your dad left, after he picked up the glass vase on the table, he threw it to the side, and it shattered, which scared your mom because you happened to be standing in that exact same spot. a shard of glass flew off the wall and cut your cheek. warm blood seeped down your cheek like tears, and some plopped onto the floor.

then the rest of the memory plays out like a movie.

how your mom ran over to wipe the blood off herself with just her shirt, squeezing you tight and crying into your hair, how your dad took a glance at you, and the disgusted look in his eyes. the same one rindou gave you back at the convenience store.

that explains why his eyes creep you out so much. there’s a strong hate that swims in them. it’s enough to pierce right through you, right to your soul, and it stabs into you with the intent to harm.

your breathing gets a little heavier. it doesn’t help that ran and rindou won’t let you go.

wheezing and heaving breaths are leaving your mouth now. your head feels light, like your blood isn’t circulating there, and no matter how deep of a breath you take, you feel like you can’t breathe. your ears are starting to ring and you curl up into yourself, if only to get some space away from the two of them, if only to hide from everything.

ran’s groans of pain fall silent, then you feel him hug you from behind but it only makes you flinch, and rindou cages you between him and ran from the front. you’re sandwiched between the both of them as ran rubs your shoulder.

“hey. it’s okay. breathe with me. in and out, just like that.” ran talks softly, and rindou’s grip on your biceps is tight, like he’s trying to ground you, let you know that he’s there through the overturned gears of your head that’s narrowing your vision and perception.

you follow ran’s example and take deep breathes. blood starts pumping to your heart again and everything goes back to normal, the fog in your head disappears with each circulation, your anxiety eases, and you slouch down into rindou’s chest, ran slouching into you.

the rough beats of rindou’s heart pound against your forehead, and you find comfort in that somehow.

ran wraps his arms around your waist.

the calmness of the moment encourages you to ask one last time, “why can’t you leave me alone?” to see if they’ll listen to you, or if they’ll ignore you and go through with what they planned.

“we can’t help that. just love our baby sister too much.” ran kisses the spot between your right shoulder and nape.

the soft touch of his lips tickle you a little. you’re sensitive around the neck and shoulders, so you twitch in his hold, clutching your hands onto rindou’s shirt.

“does that feel good?”

you hum your protest and shake your head, but ran does it again in an open mouthed kiss and a moan slips past your lips.

that makes you freeze dead in your tracks, ran doing the same. his growing erection presses against your lower back through his sweatpants, and rindou’s presses against your ankle.

“huh. i guess it feels good then.”

“no, it doesn’t. stop doing that.” you grit through your teeth.

ran does it a third time, biting you, and you tense up as your pussy squelches, slick starting to pool in your panties.

“i don’t think she feels the same way as you.” ran chuckles before pulling away. him and rindou lock eyes, and rindou pulls away from you too.

they lift you up and carry you to the bed.

“no! stop!” wriggling your wrists out of their grip to no avail, you end up in front of rindou, your back to his chest, and ran in front of you.

rindou brings his arms up, wrapping them around you, locking yours underneath his. he lays you on his chest as ran lowers to his knees and spreads your legs open.

he keeps his grip tight when you struggle to close your legs again. “now, there’s no need for that. relax for me, or i can’t make you feel good.”

“i don’t want to feel good. i don’t like this. don’t do this.” when he ignores you, pulling your underwear down your thighs, you settle for begging.

“please, ran-nii.”

that just made things worse.

ran looks up at you with a dark tint to his eyes and gives you a soft kiss on your lips before ripping your panties off entirely, pushing your legs apart for him to dive straight into your cunt.

your breath hitched, legs twitching when he dragged his tongue across your slit, tip licking circles into your clit before he sunk his tongue inside you.

he’s not listening anymore, so you plead your case to the brother behind you. “rindou, don’t let him do this to me.”

rindou gave a hum, contemplating your request in his head before opening his mouth. “ask me a little more nicely, and i might help you.”

your heart nearly sank to your stomach at the implications of his words. you know what makes him nicer, makes him a little happier, makes him swoon and soften his heart enough so he’s willing to help.

your voice breaks as you ask him again, more nicely like he told you. “r-rin-nii, please tell ran-nii to stop. he’s scaring me.”

rindou’s breath hitches and you can hear the heavy beating of his heart behind you. he rests his chin on your shoulder and nuzzles his cheek next to yours. “he’s scaring you?” he coos. “don’t worry about ran nii-chan. i’ll kick him if he starts hurting you.”

“oh fuck. that’s a good one rin.” ran exclaims below you, eyes peeking above your thighs where he rubs soft patterns, other hand starting to pull his sweatpants down. “call me that next time. ran nii-chan.”

sobs bubble up your throat, and you start screaming and kicking. “no! i don’t want this. get off of me! i’m gonna tell our parents everything about the disgusting things you do.”

the both of them turn quiet.

you’ve been putting off telling the whole truth for the greater good of your mother. she’d be heartbroken if she found out that the two brothers who were supposed to be taking care of you are actually the ones you need protection from the most, and even if she ends up breaking up with sakuya, you think she would be happier to have your pain stop.

hopefully she still loves you that much.

or maybe, they can get ran and rindou arrested instead and your family gets reduced to three. you’d actually like that a lot better. the three of you would be happier without them in the picture.

“do you really want that to happen?” ran breaks the heavy silence. “what would your mother say, after finally finding another man who makes her happy? when her previous one was a piece of shit who cheated on her.”

your brows furrow. “they had their differences and divorced because they didn’t love each other anymore, not because he cheated.”

that’s what your mom told you.

ran’s eyes shine in amusement and his smile gets a little taunting. “oh. she didn’t tell you, did she?”

your lip starts trembling. you don’t like where this conversation is going. “tell me what?”

“i see. your mom doesn’t really trust you.”

your heart starts racing again. “what are you talking about?”

the silence is thick as you wait for his response, wait on bated breath for his explanation, but rindou’s lazy drawl next to your ear jolts you out of your panic. “your shitty dad cheated on her. fucked other women. you know, stuff like that.”

the tears break from your eyes and they fall in fat droplets.

when ran tries to push his way inside, your pussy clenches on his dick and stops him from moving any further.

“you haven’t done it with a man before, have you?” his eyes curve into crescents, in time with the quirk of his lips when he smiles. “don’t worry. your nii-chan will take good care of you.”

he slowly pushes inside, inch by inch, pausing when you clench on him too tight. he catches the gloopy drops of pre sliding down his shaft and lathers his fingers in it before he’s rubbing tiny circles into your clit. the friction of his thumb causes your legs to twitch harder, continuing his breach when you loosen up and doing the same thing again when you tighten up.

finally, after a few minutes of this process, ran bottoms out and groans, hips shaking and desperate to start pistoning inside your tight cunt, but he stops himself, for you.

the fingers on your clit don’t stop circling and when it hardens to a point where it starts sticking out of its little hood, he spits on it to create more lube.

rindou’s erection twitches at your back, and his breathing on your ear got heavier.

he tugs his joggers and briefs down, the fat tip of his girthy cock nudging against an ass cheek, too heavy to stand upright, and a drop of pre falls on you, which starts a chain reaction.

pre leaks from rindou’s cockslit like a running faucet. it’s endless and gooey, and rindou moans when he strokes his dick to your ass cheek.

meanwhile ran starts a steady pace on your pussy, dick hitting into your sweet spot at each thrust. his pace pushes you back onto rindou, your ass cheek rubbing heavily against his erection.

but when ran continues playing with your clit again, timed with his rough thrusts, the band of pleasure flaring in your stomach snaps and you gush around his cock.

he keeps going still, riding out your high and then some before cumming inside you.

ran slouches down on your other shoulder not obstructed by rindou, who stopped stroking his cock, but you can tell that he’s still aroused by how it throbs against you.

ran pulls out of your dripping pussy when he catches his breath. fat, white globs of cum splatter onto your bedsheets, and they switch spots, rindou lifting you up by your hips to turn you around to him.

he clicks his tongue. “ why’d you come inside ran. don’t wanna fuck her with your nasty cum in the way.”

ran chuckles behind you, arms wrapped around your body just like rindou was, but his chin is resting on your head.

rindou shoves three fingers inside without warning and you tense up, cunt tightening again. he scoops a pool of ran’s cum in his fingers and brings it to your panting mouth that shuts close immediately.

“come on, do it for rin-nii. wanna fuck you right without ran’s cum still inside.” you shake your head.

ran’s hand is on your jaw in a split second and he digs his fingers into the hollow of your cheeks, effectively squishing them and opening your mouth in a tiny pout. rindou takes that chance to push the thumb of his other hand inside, hooking it onto your cheek to enlarge the tiny gap, and he pushes the fingers holding ran’s cum inside your mouth.

you almost gag at the slimy texture. it’s a little bitter but how it slides around on your tongue disgusts you more than the taste. rindou pinches your nose closed and your throat tightens up, having no choice but to swallow it.

it takes more than one gulp to down the whole thing in your mouth like swallowing peanut butter, and when it’s done, you heave a deep breath.

“oh, look at her. she’s all fucked out.”

rindou strokes his cock before pushing the fat tip inside and your pussy stretches to accommodate his size.  he’s thicke than ran, so there’s a little pain but he bottoms out soon and nudges against your spongy walls that turned sensitive after ran’s turn. some cum gushes out of you, sticking to rindou’s shaft, dropping to the base of his dick, where a ring of white starts to pool.

“we’re not done with you yet.” ran coos above you, arm tightening in their hold. “try to keep up with us.”

—

throughout the rest of the week, you spend most of that time at home at ran and rindou’s insistence. they cook dinner with you, go grocery shopping, watch movies, play video games during the mornings and afternoons, but at night they fuck you for hours on end like animals in heat, and on the final day before your parents come back,  you realize something as the three of you lay in your bed ready to sleep, ran and rindou squished to your side, treating you like a body pillow as they wrap their arms around you and entangle their legs.

if this is how things are going to be from now on, after finally accepting their love, maybe it would be nice to let this continue. your mom’s too busy with her new husband to care about you anymore, and you’ve been so lonely without her company.

maybe loving ran and rindou as your big brothers isn’t so bad after all. they’re nice when you listen to them, and they make you feel good. they spoil and pamper you, and it’s nice to have someone care about you.

it feels nice to have someone’s full attention without working tirelessly for it, and it’s not like they’ll stop anytime soon after the first hit

as rindou’s slumbering breaths on your neck guide you into following his, and ran’s steady heartbeat calming your erratic one down, you fall asleep quite peacefully.

your parents come home the next day, around the evening because of their delayed flight.

“hi baby! we’re back.” she gives your head a smooch and goes to the living room to put down her purse. ran and rindou step outside to help their dad with the baggage and gifts.

your mom takes a look at your beaming face and glowing skin. “how was bonding with your brothers? did you have fun, baby.”

you take a moment to reflect on the previous days before your smile widens. “mhmm!”

rindou’s cum starts to dribble out of your pussy just as ran’s cum does the same from your ass—yeah, you’ve come to terms with them.

No because why is he so fine. Like actually what the hell.

I would do literally anything for him.

im so obsessed with you that sometimes i forget other people exist. i wish it was just u and me

I think about you a lot sometimes

I wish we could talk again

I know you’re doing other things

But I wish you’d forget all that and talk to me

i like my men 6’3

Monsters: Mikey Sano x Reader x Izana Kurokawa

Chapter 2: Shots Fired

series summary: your grievous sin was Emma standing up for you to her brothers. and now you’re going to pay the heavy price for destroying their perfect family dynamic.

chapter summary: Izana Kurokawa demands your attention and he doesn’t take no for an answer. Not even when his demands are outrageous.

cw: DARK CONTENT, MISOGYNY, NSFW, r*pe mention, religious guilt, depictions of PTSD and CPTSD, emotional incest, incestuous assault (NOT THE SANOS), abandoment issues, violence, revenge porn, depression, filming without consent, drugging, domestic (physical and sexual) abuse, victim blaming, blackmailing, depictions of rape culture, manipulation, gaslighting, noncon, dry humping, mind break, psychological and sexual torture, use of firearms, attempted su*cides

r-18+ (not suitable for 17 and under)

wc: 11.6k

[masterlist] [chapter 1] [chapter 3] [taglist]

a/n: likes are nice, comments and reblogs with comments are superior, anons are also superior too and would make me update faster cause it means people like what i write. this chapter takes an entirely different turn from the old story, some scenes are similar but the context is different. i host polls after this so stay tuned.

 YOU haven’t been able to stay asleep for the past few days.

It’s easy to fall asleep after a hard and stressful day at school and your part-time job. Your limbs ache from all the walking and lugging a bookbag far heavier than what you could handle -since all your e-textbooks were on your (now destroyed) laptop and phones were not allowed during lectures. And working from 5pm until 9pm at a restaurant, serving food to rude, overbearing customers only to be paid in pieces was another added stress in itself.

Not to mention, studying until the words are bleary and just looking at a book hurts your eyes.

But then, in all your dreams, everything you’ve pushed to the back of your memory is at the forefront. Your dream starts typically, your normal school day, waking up, dressing in your cute little blue crop sweater and jean skirt with socks. You go to classes, and then you see Mikey’s car waiting for Emma.

Things take a different turn. He’s the one getting out of the car to meet you. It’s like a siren call, him holding out his hand for you to take despite someone screaming for you to stop. You try to reject him, try to run away like the voice said but you end up getting trapped. This time, he’s not using his hands. He’s fully sheathed inside you, robbing you of the thing you hold so dear while you kick, bite and claw at him until you wake up screaming, sweat soaked all over your sheets.

You consistently dream of being violently raped by Manjiro Sano.

The next few hours until sunrise were equally horrible. You’re quietly sobbing into your pillows, praying to God to forgive you for letting Mikey touch you in the first place, assuming your reason for having such dreams was God’s divine judgement for your grievous sin. You’ve lost count on how many Bible verses you stay up reading until your eyes are bleary and the sun comes up.

No matter how much you pray and how many times you recite psalms 127 before you sleep, you can never escape Mikey in the world of dreams. He’s a virus that has invaded your thoughts, corrupting every dream you had and twisted them into nightmares.

You don’t know how long you can hold on being this sleep deprived. It’s been impairing your school life, trying to find a way to stay awake during classes only for you to fall asleep and miss the rest of it. Even when you got notes from the person next to you, reading them was always difficult because your eyes hurt so much.

Work was even more taxing and stressful, rush week adding more stress than you could ever imagine. You found yourself spacing out more than usual when you were supposed to be taking orders. You were unable to keep up with the fast paced environment, your body feeling like a ton of bricks with every moment you make. Your eyes were heavy lidded, tired from forcing them open throughout the day.

You were so, so tired-

“Hello! Are you sleeping on me young lady?” A voice snapped at you.

Your eyes shot open and immediately you stood back straight. You must have been dozing off while taking the older lady’s order -the very thing you’ve been trying to avoid all day long. “No, not at all Ms-” you started to explain. “-I was just … what was your order aga-”

You flinched when the woman angrily slammed her fist on the table, shutting you up instantly! “So you were sleeping on the job! What kind of establishment allows this?” She screamed, attracting the attention of customers around. “I need to speak to your manager. NOW!”

You instantly began to panic at the mention of your manager. If he heard any of this, he was definitely going to fire you. You cannot afford to lose this job right now, with all your school expenses and saving up money for next session’s tuition.

“No mam!” you begged, keeping your voice even as you tried to reason with her. “Th-there’s no need for that! Please! Let me take your order and I’ll-” you racked your brain for an excuse, knowing fully well your establishment does not offer free meals. “- I’ll pay for your meal! On me-”

“So you’re trying to imply I’m poor?” She interrupted you again, her tempo even higher than before. “You disrespectful little wretch! How dare you? GET ME YOUR MANAGER RIGHT NOW!”

You started begging the older woman, trying to calm her down and de-escalate the situation, but each plea only fuelled her rage. By now, every customer, every employee and just anyone in that place watched you grovel and beg this woman to calm down, some people even videoing your altercation. Your body was trembling as she screeched in your ears, calling you all sorts of names while you relentlessly apologised to her.

“What is going on here?”

You winced at the sound of your manager’s voice emerging from the backrooms. You stood stiffly as he walked to your side, using his shoulder to nudge you out of the way. “Is there something wrong Ms.?” He asked the lady. “What happened?”

“This little wretch!” She practically screeched at you, her finger wagging straight at your hung face. “She was sleeping while I was ordering! And when I pointed it out to her calmly, she called me a hag!”

Your eyes snapped open. You can tolerate people yelling at you, but lying is out of the question. “I did not call you anything! That’s a lie-”

“You be quiet!” Your manager yelled at you, silencing you. He turned to face the woman again, apologising profusely for your so called rude behaviour. “I promise you mam, she will be dealt with accordingly. Your order is in the house, please take that as a token of our humble apology and forgive us.”

You stood there in shock as the woman smirked satisfactorily at her now free meal. “Well, you better get rid of her!” She snarked, eyes scanning you up and down, plopping back down on her seat. “Or you’ll lose me as a patron.”

“Of course mam.” He said sweetly before switching his countenance towards you into a more irritated one. “You, come with me.”

You lowered your head once again in disappointment as you started following your manager towards the back rooms, your head lowered in shame as the eyes followed your every move to your damnation waiting for you in the manager’s office.

Your skin crawled as you felt his penetrating gaze on you, as if judging you. “You know how many complaints I have received this week just from you, (name)? How many orders you’ve messed up?”

You shook your head no in response, not trusting yourself to say anything reasonable at this point. He eyes you up and down again before scoffing at you rudely. “I only let you stay here because you said you were desperate for a job. But apparently, you’re not even bothered enough to keep it.” He spat out. “Unfortunately for you, this is the end of the road for you here. Change out of your uniform and leave.”

“But s-”

“I said you’re FIRED. GET OUT.”

You sighed weakly, obeying your now ex-manager’s order and leaving the office. You ignored the eyes of everyone watching you exchange the too tight black jeans and green top uniform back to your white bohemian skirt and light blue top with your white jacket. Calmly, you packed your school bag and everything you owned with you and slung it over your shoulder, replacing the uniform back to the locker, dropping the key on top.

No one said goodbye to you as you left through the back door.

  IZANA knows it's creepy to be waiting for Emma just outside her college, but it's not like he has a choice when she keeps ignoring any method he uses to contact her.

Mindlessly, he fiddled with his lighter with his back on the wall of the English department building and an unlit cigarette between his lips. Purple eyes scanned the people leaving the building one by one, hoping to find a mop of golden hair amongst the students. His hopes rose with each blond he saw, only for him to deflate when he realised they weren't her.

A few minutes passed and still no sign of Emma. Deciding that he didn’t want to stand around and gape, Izana lifted his lighter towards his cigarette, flicking the light twice and bringing the warm flame to his lips. Breathing in the familiar scent of nicotine, smoke filled his lungs as he tucked the lighter back in his pockets. His free hand took the cigarette from his lips and he exhaled, releasing plumes of smoke from his lips.

His smoking habit had gotten worse within the past week. Izana couldn’t help it, reaching for a light anytime he saw his gifts in the dustbin. Emma hasn’t been this angry at him before. Usually a new plushie was enough to wash his sins clean, no matter how grevious they were. Now, not even the most expensive shoes she’s been eyeing for months could satiate her anger.

All because of you.

Izana knows his little sister like the back of his hand. Like how she loved sleeping with plushies because it comforted her whenever their mother brought her gambling friends into the house and they were loud. Or how he picked up a guitar to learn multiple barbie songs because their mother had destroyed Emma’s CD that he bought with his money to punish her. He knew she liked warm tea during her periods and gentle back rubs to ease her pain. He’s not the best person to be around, with how fucked over he was by life until Shinichiro gave him purpose but he loved his sister a lot and everything he did was to protect her. Life hardened him, made him so jaded that the only thin thread connecting him to his humanity was Emma and he’d do anything to protect his humanity.

Only to watch it slip through his fingers.

First it was Mikey’s stupid friend, Ken Ryugi, who waltzed his way into Emma’s life. Izana didn’t like him one bit- didn’t like how Emma would bite her lip, waiting for him to reply and cry herself to sleep when he didn’t. Her heart was soft, fragile and that brute tore it apart by telling her he wasn’t interested in a relationship yet.

The only reason Ken wasn’t in an unmarked, shallow grave in the middle of nowhere was simply because Mikey was involved.

Now it is you, taking the space in her life that belonged to him and Mikey. You’re pushing both of them out of the equation, threatening their position in their sister’s life and everything they know.

Izana wonders how someone so insignificant was so important to Emma that she was willing to cut communications with her own brothers. It baffles him beyond understanding and at the same time enrages him that she could trust you so easily. That she was willing to turn against him in your name.

He took more puffs, skimming throughout the campus for any sight of her. It didn’t matter how he felt about it, as Kisaki had convinced him to ask Emma and you to go shopping, just to get back into Emma's good graces again. Apparently doing a nice gesture publicly for you would convince their sister to give them another chance again.

Especially because Izana had been the biggest opposition to their friendship.

“But Mikey was a little shit about them too.” he grumbles underneath his breath, cigarette in hand. “Why do I have to be the one to apologise? And why did Mikey get an out while I’m doing all the heavy lift-”

His thoughts were cut short the second he caught sight of a familiar blonde hair bouncing in the wind and stood up straight, tossing the cigarette to the floor and crushing it underneath his black shoes, before rushing to catch up to his little sister.

Izana pushed through the throng of people, violently shoving anyone that got in his way until he finally fell in step with her, slowing down to match her pace. Without wasting time, his hand curled around the girl’s wrist, stopping her in her tracks instantly and earning a shocked gasp escaped her lips.

“Get off me - Izana?”

Her free hand was fast to hit him, but her head was faster in turning around, only to recognize it was just Izana. Her hand stopped inches away from the smirking male’s face, the tension leaving her body and relief taking its place. It doesn’t last long, though as irritation suddenly crawls on her face, instantly displeased at his actions. “What the hell? I’ve told you to stop doing that.” she hissed at him.

A mischievous grin made its way to his face at Emma’s irritation. She always had a pout whenever she was angry at him and it made look even more adorable.

“Were you scared?” He teased, pulling Emma closer to him until she was practically smushed at his side, despite the glare she gave him in response. “You know no one would dare touch you.”

“Get off me. Your breath stinks like nicotine, I thought you said you quit smoking that shit.”

Ignoring Emma’s last question, he decided to change the topic. “Your lapdog isn't here with you?” he asked. Usually, you would be hovering behind her like a damn pest, so you not being around her was rather strange. 

Emma is quick to shove him off lightly, putting some distance between the two of them, clearly still mad at him. "(Name)'s not feeling well, so she didn't come to class today. I'm on my way to get her medicine."

Oh, that's a surprise.

But with you out of the way, Izana could finally have Emma all to himself for today and hang out with his beloved sister. Maybe even make up for the party thing without apologising to you. Without you here, it’s likely Emma isn’t as mad at the whole situation and is playing it up to make you feel like you have someone on your side.

He knows you’re not going to protest if Emma says she’s in talking terms with her brothers again. It’s a win-win situation and he doesn’t have to grovel or ask for forgiveness for some joke that went wrong.

"So that means we can hang out?"

"Excuse me?"

"You don't have to keep pretending you're still mad at me now that she isn't here." He spews the 'she' with so much venom it could kill, before switching up with a sick grin, his hand stretched out. "We can go to Vivienne Westwood and get that Saturn necklace you like, what do you say?"

His words hung in the air as Emma trailed her pointed glare from his hand, back to his cheerful visage. She crossed her arms in response slowly, her yellow eyes burning holes into his face as her lips curled into a sick sneer.

“Are you insane?”

“What?”

“Don’t ‘what?’ me Izana! I just told you (name)'s ill and you're asking me to go with you to shop at Vivienne westwood? Are you nuts?”

Emma’s voice was loud enough to garner wandering eyes of other by-standers, watching the event go down. Izana kept his composure, despite his bubbling irritation beneath the surface of his skin, with a smile -albeit stiffer than before. ‘She’s just being emotional’ Izana whispered to himself, still trying to be rational. ‘Just take it easy with her’

“Oh come on, should I care about her-"

"You should be begging her to forgive you for what you did to her that night!"

"You can't still be mad at me for that shit that happened two weeks ago. And besides, it's not my fault she couldn't take a joke” his words were smooth, buttery, flowing out of his lips like it was the truth, digging his own grave. “I didn’t know your friend was that sensitive-”

“Are you listening to the bullshit coming from your mouth?” Emma roared, her voice echoing throughout the entirety of the department, her face red with fury. Izana had never seen his own beloved sister ever look at him with such disgust in her eyes, her teeth gnashing against each other and hands at her side, clenching against each other. “Is that what you think a joke sounds like?”

“Calm the fuck dow-”

“No wonder you’re fucking single, you’re such a piece of shit to anyone that isn’t Shinichiro!” Emma screamed, interrupting Izana once again, her temper fiery enough to burn a hole on the ground she stood with how heated she was. “How does anyone even stand you for so long? You’re unbearable!”

“Excuse m-”

He doesn’t like where the conversation is going, with how furious Emma was right now. He tried to raise a comforting hand to Emma’s shoulder to ease her tension but she was quick to smack it away from her hard, stinging his fingers a little.

“You’re so unpleasant, how do you even have any friends? How do they tolerate you? To think (name) wanted me to forgive you! Thank god you aren’t my fucking brother, I can’t imagine being anything like you!”

The words left her mouth before she could stop herself.

It was as if the world froze over for Izana. He stood there, wide eyed, his heart beating loudly in his chest as all the voices around him faded into the background. His hand extended weakly at his side, mouth drying up as a lump formed in his throat. 

“I-I-i" she starts to stutter. It’s obvious that she can recognize what she had just said as he blankly stared at her. "I didn't mean i-”

He doesn’t let her finish, turning on his heel and walking away as fast as possible. People were quick to clear out of his way, not wanting to be his target of aggression. Emma followed behind, instantly, shouting his name at the top of her lungs followed with strings of apologies.

“Izana, wait please-” she screamed from the crowd of people, tears streaming from her yellow eyes. He continued to ignore her as he hopped on his bike, sliding in the key and revving up the engine before she could reach him.

Izana zoomed away, turning Emma’s cries into background noise, her words repeating in his head.

“I didn’t mean it! I’M SORRY-”

YOU don't know which was worse, the feeling of helplessness that came with the reality of your life crashing before your very eyes or the splitting headache you've developed after crying in your room for a week straight. Laying on your bed all day, huddled up in a blanket and sobbing uncontrollably was unhealthy, but it was all you found the strength to do these days. 

In all your years of being alive, you've never felt this pathetic. Not when you would be pushed outside in the pouring rain if you made a mistake in making dinner, or had been beaten with a belt in front of Yuzhua and Hakkai because you failed your catechism test. You could protect yourself from your brothers when they got violent. You could run and hide when your dad was really angry and wanted to take it out on you.

Unfortunately, no one told you what to do when your life is falling apart.

Ever since that day, you couldn't find the strength to go to class or do anything for that matter. It was like your entire energy was sucked out of you, leaving your body an empty husk with nothing left to give. 

You only have yourself to blame.

You drag the blankets closer to your body, sniffling a bit. The worst part of all of this is that after this month, if you don’t find a job that pays you quickly, you are going to be broke. It’s times like this that makes you regret leaving your family. You know it’s wishful thinking, but you wonder if you would be forgiven assuming you return home in tears and repentant of your sin of disobedience like the prodigal son in the bible. Life is too hard to live in the outside world without the help and guidance of a parent. You miss your old life, with your own bed and guaranteed food, as long as you did as you were told. You miss how sometimes your parents took you and your siblings to eat out after church.

You miss your mother. You want to go back to her. Life is hard, and dealing with being jobless with nowhere to turn to is harder. You could ask Emma, but she’s already taking care of you and there was no way you would bother your friend about your money problems.

"Hey babes, I got the medicine for you."

Emma's soft voice rouses you out of your self-pity session. The wood creaks underneath her heels as she walks to your bed and takes a seat besides you, the mattress dipping underneath her weight. The scent of her Vivienne Westwood wafting through your nostrils fills you with a sense of warmth, familiarity and at the same time, dread.

You feel guilty. Perhaps it's because you don't know how to tell Emma what exactly is wrong with you. It's easier to give her the half-truth that you caught a stomach bug than say everything. If you even as much as hinted that Manjiro had something to do with the real reason you were a sobbing mess on your bed, you're sure she would overreact and fight with her brothers again.

But still, not telling her meant you were keeping secrets from her. Something you both promised not to ever do as you two became best-friends.

‘It’s for her own good.’ you try to justify it. ‘It’s better I keep my mouth shut.’

Pushing that thought at the back of your mind, you roll over to her direction, pulling down your blanket just a little bit to see her properly. Your heart drops at the sadness etched onto Emma’s face, a forlorn look in her eyes. You hated seeing her down, yet all you’ve been doing for the past few months since you came into her life was causing her pain. You know how it feels to lose family, no matter how bad they were to you and Emma is no different.

“Hey”

Your voice is hoarse from your constant crying, but Emma doesn’t mention it as she reaches a hand to caress your face. “You look better than yesterday. You up to eat?”

You nodded briefly, realising how hungry you were. You’ve barely had an appetite to eat anything, so your rations had been smaller and compact until you regained it back bit by bit, thanks to Emma’s constant care. Pushing yourself up, you sit up and yawn, quickly covering your mouth the moment a bad stench emanates from it. Emma’s face quickly grows sour as well, probably smelling it too.

“You haven’t showered.”

“Uhhh-”

You knew there was no excuse for that one as Emma put the food and medicine away before yanking you off the bed while talking about how gross you were for not showering throughout today. “You’re a girl (name), don’t do this to yourself, c’mon-”

“But-” you start to whine, trying to defend yourself. “I was tired-”

“Nope!” she retorted, pushing you towards the bathroom. “No excuses! I swear you’re acting like Mikey when he’s in one of his moods-”

The room falls silent at her words, the cheerful aura dropping the second Emma realises what she’s said, a wave of guilt washing over her face as she lets go of your hands.

“Fuck- I’m sorry (name)...”

Your heart aches at how heartbroken she sounds right now and shatters even further at the fact that everything, every problem they were experiencing right now was all your fault. You saw it deep in Mikey’s eyes how much pain and suffering your presence in their family had caused, and how his anger reflected that action towards you. You’ve been so entrenched in your own problems that you forgot the mess you made in their family.

“Emma, you miss them don’t you?”

‘It’s not too late.’ You mutter to yourself, your heart in your throat as you steel your resolve. You couldn’t let her make that mistake you made by leaving your family aside. You don’t want Emma to be like you.

“(Name), please don’t-”

“You can’t keep ignoring them forever.” You cut her short, speaking directly to her now. “You can’t keep ignoring Draken either too. You’re miserable.”

“I’m fin-”

“Emma no.” You snap at her, finally having enough of her stubbornness as anger swells up in you. “I see how sad you look everytime you look at your pictures with your big brothers and Draken. Do you think that it’s healthy to keep ignoring them like this?”

“You were the one they hurt, you shouldn’t feel bad for them-”

“It doesn’t matter! I don’t matter!” You yell desperately, now pulling away from her grasp in an attempt to put your foot down. “They are the ones who matter a lot. Those are you family members! People who love you and have protected you for years! Just talk it out with them! They miss you for god’s sake!”

“What the hell do you mean you don’t matter?” Emma roars back at you, suddenly enraged by your outburst. You nearly stumble back at how angry she sounded, fear creeping into your skin as your verbal claws retract. “You matter to me! You mean the world to me as any of them do! You’re my best friend and I love you and if they don’t understand that then there is nothing to make up for!”

By the time she was done yelling, her breathing was heavy and her eyes so intense you couldn’t even stare at her. Your eyes quickly flickered to your feet instead; scared of seeing the disappointment on her face and terrified of her anger. You didn’t like it when Emma yelled, it reminded you of your mother getting angry at you, something you hated doing to her.

Eventually, she took a deep breath and took a step closer to you, her hand intertwined with yours. “Come on, I’ll help you shower.”

You silently follow behind her, eyes downcast and shoulders slumped.

  PERHAPS Izana should be angry at Emma.

It would be justified after the words she said from her mouth, but he can’t because he knows the truth. Emma was just angry as well and she didn’t mean any of the words she had said to hurt him. She said them because of you, however and he realises that every fight they’ve had is over your presence in her life.

Which meant that the true culprit was you.

People may believe in love at first sight, but from the first day Izana set his eyes on you, he could only feel hatred towards you. You were just there, sitting awkwardly while Emma tried to involve you in their conversation and it irked him.

At first, Izana thought it was the fact that the both of you were clashing personalities that made him feel that way, but then you keep getting in his way and ruining things for him. He hates everything about you - the way you picked your finger when you were nervous. Your bright smile you gave to only Emma and how easy it was for her to like you. Just your mere presence in general was enough to set him off because of how simple it was for you to be close to Emma while you barely knew her. It felt like he was losing his only sister to a stranger, and now the Emma who stands in front of him is a mere mockery of his real sister.

And that’s the frustrating part. He can’t do anything to hurt you. He’s smart enough to know that if he does, Emma would never forgive him.

“... Kurokawa, are you here with us?”

Izana snaps back to reality as Kisaki taps the table three times to get his attention. ‘I might have spaced out.’ He thinks to himself before facing the entirety of the table; Tetta Kisaki, the rather shrewd and ruthless dealer sitting, his equally irritating lap dog Shuji Hanma and the little shit that he called his younger brother, Mikey.

Speaking of Mikey, ever since that day he made that phone call and revealed his brand new plan of accepting you into their friend group, he’s been very quiet. Even throughout today’s meeting, he hasn’t said a word, aside from mentioning that Draken was going to be absent and asking where Kakucho was before the meeting began.

And knowing his brother, a quiet Mikey is a suspicious Mikey.

Now that Izana thinks about it, he’s noticed that Mikey, who was on his side initially had suddenly switched to trying to apologise to you. Which was weird, considering how egocentric Mikey could be on the topic of apologising. Izana has his suspicions, but then again Mikey is unpredictable due to his rather dark impulses, so he couldn’t really say anything yet, until Kakucho came back from his task.

Izana cleared his throat and faced Kisaki again, deciding to be as honest as possible. After all, it’s their fault that he’s in this mess, might as well remind them. “Just thinking about how Emma practically called me a bastard and I’m supposed to be okay with it.” He said nonchalantly and the air in the room shifted into an uncomfortable silence for the upteenth time this week ever since that unfortunate day. It isn’t surprising to anyone as to why though, Izana’s complicated relationship with the Sano’s is a sore topic that no one ever dared to bring up.

From Kisaki’s tight lipped expression, Izana is sure that the younger male is picking his words carefully in his head. Even Hanma who would have laughed or said something to intentionally piss off Izana remains silent. Eventually, Kisaki lets out a resigned sigh. “The audit would be done another time.” He states in a cool tone, putting his laptop aside before facing the two brothers. “It’s obvious we’re not gonna do anything useful until you resolve this issue with Emma and her friend.”

“Really?” The white haired male mocks, causing Kisaki to shift in his place, an irritated frown creasing his face. “would you like to hear my pla-”

“We’re not going to kill a civilian and draw attention to ourselves, Izana. I’ve already told you what to do.” Kisaki snapped back, his yellow eyes darting from Izana to Mikey, before narrowing in irritation. “Both of you. Just apologise to (name), it’s not that hard. You don’t even have to mean it, the girl won’t even know the difference-”

“Ah yes, cause that went well the last time.”

“And whose fault is that? I clearly told you to say “I’m sorry” and all you did was make things worse!”

“I’m just brutally honest.” Izana spits back. “And you can’t blame me because I tried, compared to Mikey who sits on his damn ass and has done nothing-”

“I wasn’t the one who called her a cheap hooker!” Mikey interjects defensively, sitting upright after staying quiet from the start of this meeting, finally saying something.

“Oh, so you can speak.” Izana retorts back, his voice cold. Mikey is so good at shifting blame onto others for actions he has a hand in, especially when he knows it would reflect badly on him. Unfortunately, Izana has been in this game longer than his little brother. “I thought you had gone mute with the way you don’t want to talk about the issue beyond pushing me to apologise to her.”

“You don’t make it any easier with how you talk to people.” Mikey hisses back, his tempo rising with each word, but Izana can hear the slight shake in his voice, almost as if he’s hiding something. “How am I supposed to do anything if you keep saying shit like you’re glad (name)’s gone?”

(Name)?

The entire room falls silent at Mikey’s sudden outburst, or rather what Mikey had just said. No one says a word as they all stare at Mikey in shock, eye wide and mouth hanging open like he’d grown two heads. There’s a glimmer of confusion in the dark eyed male before the realisation of his mistake washes over him, his facial expression changing into a mixture of guilt and pure terror.

As if he’s been caught doing something he shouldn’t have.

It’s unmistaken. Izana knows his brother is hiding something and it has to do with you. “You’ve never,” he starts slowly, never taking his eyes off Mikey, gauging his facial expression. “called her by her name. You only call girls who you had something to do with by their name.”

“I-”

“You fucked her, didn’t you.” it’s a statement, not a question. Mikey grows pale and it's more of a sure answer than anything else at all.

“I didn’t do anything bad… she’s still a virgin-”

“What.” Kisaki, interjecting as well, cuts him off, his voice cold. “Did. You. Do?”

Mikey is silent. It’s brief and doesn’t last long as he finally seals his fate with a quiet voice. “It’s not my fucking fault, she wore a short skirt and she was asking for it-”

At the side, Kisaki crumples back onto the dining table seat, his head in his hands muttering a quiet “Oh fuck, I should have stayed with Osanai.” as he shakes in disbelief. Hanma just sits there, clearly perturbed, not knowing how to react but at the same time, not really interested.

“Glad to know I’m not the only screw up.” Izana scoffs as well. Despite how cheery his voice sounded, the furious look on his face says a different story altogether. “Since apparently you’re just as stupid as I am.”

Mikey runs a hand through his golden locs, frustration evident on his features. No one has ever seen him look so frantic, like a little kid who broke something and is trying to hide it. “I didn’t do anything wrong. Sure she said no at first but I knew she wanted it when she relaxed in my touch-”

“That’s not what Emma’s gonna think, you idiot!” Izana barks at him angrily, his temper finally off the rails. “You practically threw away your entire plan before it even started! All for what? Mediocre pussy you could get from some other girl? And you know how Shin is about this shit. If Emma finds out and tells him, we’re screwed!”

There’s a mixture of emotions swirling in Izana right now. The urge to punch Mikey was strong, for daring to not only lie to his face, but also making him look like a fool to cover his ass.

Then again, he knows it’s really not Mikey’s fault but yours. You must have done something to make Mikey hurt you because he knows his little brother doesn’t hurt girls. You have this effect of turning people into worse versions of themselves, making them disgusting, evil and hateful.

You turned Emma against them and now you made Mikey’s dark impulses come out.

It’s you that’s the problem.

“So what anyone find out? They won’t believe her” Mikey snarls back, irritated. “She can’t blame me, I told her to fucking leave but she didn’t listen! She was practically begging me to fuck her-”

“ENOUGH!”

Kisaki’s voice is loud enough to silence the two brothers, ending their argument instantly as they breathe heavily from their prior screaming match. Izana slumps back on his seat as Kisaki sits up straight, eyes narrowed. Mikey does the same as Izana, his jaw tightly clenched as he crosses his arms on his chest, feet crossed. The younger male clears his throat, and starts to rationalise the situation.

“It’s obvious that we’re going to switch gears since this happened. We all have a curated reputation that we need to protect so that people don’t nose into our business.” He turns to Mikey who is still glaring hard at Izana. “Your brother has a point, you fucked up our plan by not telling anyone what you did-”

“You judging me too, Kisaki?”

“Can you stop being defensive for once Mikey and just listen!” Kisaki scolds, just about done with everyone making things more difficult for him. “I don’t care what you did to her, whatever affection or lust you have for her is a you problem. I just want this situation to be in our favour.”

The statement makes Izana scoff in dismal fashion, but he decides to ask out of curiosity regardless. “And how do you intend to turn this situation around? Cause right now she has leverage over us and any careless move can put us in a tougher spot than we can handle.”

Kisaki turns his attention fully towards Izana again, a knowing look on his face as he asks. “Is Kakucho done searching Mikey’s car?”

‘How did he know?’ Izana blinks, but then catches Hanma smirking and doesn’t bother to ask his impending questions. Kisaki always had a nasty and suspicious habit of continuously tailing him specifically, and usually it doesn’t go over Izana’s radar when it happens, apart from this instance. Which meant someone was being a rat in his group.

He’ll deal with that later.

Mikey raised a brow in confusion as well, opening his mouth to protest the invasion of his privacy when Izana’s phone suddenly rings. He picks it up, attempting to step out to answer it when Kisaki raises his hand to stop him.

“Answer it here.” Kisaki said, ignoring the way Izana looks at him like he has two heads. “and put it on speaker.”

He had no reason to comply, but he wanted to see where Kisaki was going with whatever plan he had. With a wry smile, Izana put the phone down on the table and slid the answer button, putting it on a loudspeaker.

“Did you find anything Kakucho?”

Ever loyal, Kakucho clears his throat and starts to speak, his voice sounding strained over the phone, as if he’s struggling with something. “Yes boss.” He answers, a twinge of nervousness coating his tone. “There’s a dash cam on the mirror and a spy cam underneath the compartment facing the passenger’s seat…”

Mikey grumbles under his breath something about fucking Kakucho up if anything ends up spoilt or missing in his car but Kisaki holds his hand up to his lips and shushes him. Izana continues once he’s sure his brother is done complaining. “And did you confirm the anonymous tip that we got?”

He can hear Kakucho shift uncomfortably, the silence on the other side of the phone drawn out until he finally says. “Boss, it’s too … I don’t think we should use this against her.” He tries to reason. “I think we’re going too far-”

“Perfect.” Kisaki chimes in, now looking at Izana with a satisfied smile. Kakucho is about to ask why Kisaki was there but Izana cuts him off instead. “Bring it back. I’ll explain once you come to the house.”

“Okay boss.”

The phone line dies and Kisaki, fairly confident in his plan, looks at Izana once again. “I’m sure you know where I’m going, right?”

Izana may think Kisaki is a pathetic brat who just happened to be smart, but right now, it’s like the both of them are connected and in tune with their thoughts. The tanned male stretches his lips into a smile, one full of malice and at the same time, glee, his eyes light with mirth when he realises what Kisaki was thinking.

Finally a plan he could follow along with.

“Alright, I’m all ears.”

THE walk back to your dorm was quiet.

By the time you managed to catch a bus after spending the entire day looking for a job and getting back to campus, it was already late in the night. Save for only the street lamps that were beginning to dim, everywhere else was darker than usual.

You had read that there was going to be a lunar eclipse tonight between the hours of 10pm - 00am. The time boldly written on the bus’ digital clock before you got down was 10:45pm, so you already assumed it was the cause of the unnatural darkness tonight.

A long time ago before the world weighed you down, things like this would have made you excited. You loved watching the stars when you were young, trying to check on the papers your father bought to see if there was any space news available. You remember borrowing your immediate elder brother’s binoculars as a makeshift telescope, trying to piece out the stars in the sky or see if you would catch a glimpse of the comet that was said to pass through that week.

Unfortunately, you were young and foolish. Wanting to impress your father, you told him all about your book of constellations that you drew up, detailing the first star that appeared every evening, down to your crazy childish theories about aliens and space.

“Can you show me the book?” your father asked calmly. You should have known it was dangerous for your father to be this calm, but you were too blinded by excitement to think and you gave him the book, a bright smile on your face.

Your smile fell as his large hands ripped your book into shreds, before telling you: “Women don’t dream.”

Maybe that was the day you realised the love you craved from your father will never be given to you. You were so young and impressionable, all you wanted was for him to be proud of you, like he was with his sons. Now, you can’t even look at the stars, the memory leaves a bitter taste in your mouth and you try to shake it off as you continue on the path.

You wondered what grievous sin you’ve committed to be so down on your luck like this. Today had been one disappointment to another

You passed by Emma’s dorm building, a sigh escaping your lips. She told you that Draken wanted to take her out for dinner tonight, which shocked you because friends with benefits - according to what Emma herself told you- don’t go on dates or do lovey dovey stuff with each other, to avoid complicated feelings from budding.

Then again, their relationship is based on the fact that they both have feelings for each other, but Draken was not interested in a relationship.

It was already complicated before it began but at least she's taking your advice and talking to them again.

Your eyes darted up to her window, hoping her lights were on. Whenever she was alone, Emma hated sleeping in the dark. She said it reminded her of the times her mother would lock her and Izana in a dark room whenever she brought her customers in. Anytime she was in a darkened room, she told you she could still hear the sound of her mother moaning and a man grunting. Izana would try his best to distract her, playing games or even stealing an earphone and plugging it to his own so that she would listen to music instead of what was going on.

A frown graced your lips when you saw two bodies from the curtain, one tall figure you recognize as Draken and Emma’s smaller dainty figure perched on him, kissing. You quickly averted your eyes and walked faster, ignoring the unfamiliar pang in your chest. Maybe you’re jealous because you needed your friend’s comfort right now and she wasn’t available. You felt greedy for this, after spending a week with her, you should let her be free.

‘She has her own life to live. And I have mine’ you muttered to yourself as you trudged along the path, slowly dragging your feet. ‘I have to stop being so dependent on her.’

Eventually, your thoughts drift back to your reoccurring dream. Losing your job made you realise that if you didn’t do anything about it, your tiredness would eventually catch up to you and ruin everything else you’ve worked for. With an important test scheduled for tomorrow, you knew you could not afford to take another loss this week. You had to power through your sleep tonight, even if it traumatised you.

‘Maybe I should pretend that I like it. Pretend it’s okay and enjoy it so that I won’t have to wake up.’ You shook your head, cursing as you drew closer to your own dorm building. ‘Oh God, how far I’ve fallen. Look at me trying to enjoy a disgraceful act-’

You paused in your tracks at the sound of a leaf crushing. You quickly turned around, trying to ascertain who could be lurking there behind the bushes. Your palms started sweating, your nerves firing at the thought of being watched.

Silence.

You decided to continue walking, assuming that maybe you were hearing things and there wasn’t anything at all. Nighttime always had a way of making you nervous, especially with all the horrible stories you heard about innocent women being attacked around these times. Besides, looking around for whatever may be lurking was a dumb idea.

You should just get out of here.

Eventually, you make it to your dorm house in record time, a sigh of relief escaping your lips. ‘Maybe I’m being paranoid. But at least I’m safe now.’ You think to yourself as you push the door open, closing it behind you.

Weary from the day’s stress, your body starts to give up on you but you push through, trying your best to just make it to your room. You’re sure you would just collapse on your bed the second you got there and forget about anything else.

You finally make it to your room, about to rummage your bag for the keys when you notice the door was unlocked. ‘Oh? Ami must have come back rather early, since I barely saw her until 2am?’

But as you reach for the handle, a feeling of dread washes over you, the same one you felt when you were outside. ‘I really need to let this go. There’s no harm waiting for me. It’s just my room.’ You mutter to yourself. Your overthinking has cost you a lot, from your job to your academics and right now, you really need it to stop. Pushing whatever feeling was keeping you away, you walked into the darkened room.

The first thing that greeted you was the stench of some kind of smoke -weed, the kind that Ami liked to use whenever she was in the room. You always hated the smell and you recall telling her to leave the windows open whenever she wanted to smoke. Coughing, you quickly covered your nose and mouth with one hand and reached to turn on the light with another. “Ami, how many times have I told you to open the window whenever you smoke? You know I don’t like the smell-”

Your blood turns to ice the moment light floods the room, your mouth dry as you stare at the man perched on your reading chair, a leg crossed over the other, the weed blunt hanging between his tanned hands. His lips are stretched into a sick grin, showing all his teeth, purple eyes shining with an odd mirth as he glances at you up and down.

Izana Kurokawa.

‘Run’

You don’t need to be told twice, quickly discarding your bag and running towards the direction of the door, only to hit someone hard, standing tall in your way. You look up fearfully to see mismatched eyes, a scar running down his face and flinch backwards in reflex. It’s as if he gazes at you with pity, but quickly switches to a blank stare as he stands between you and the door.

You know him from hanging around Emma a lot in the Tenjiku frat house, Kakucho. He’s always around Izana and only loyal to him for some reason that you don’t know. He doesn’t listen to anyone else, not even Mikey. You realise that he might have been the one that was following you when you were walking home.

Begging him to let you pass would be futile.

“Don’t worry, I’m just here to have a little chat with you. I’m not going to hurt you.” His tone is calm, but it doesn’t bring you any comfort. If Mikey could hurt you without any remorse, then there’s nothing stopping Izana from doing worse to you. “And as much as your backside is as interesting as your face, I prefer talking to someone who is looking at me.”

“I don’t want to talk to you.” The words fly out from your mouth before you even think of a more appropriate response but it doesn’t seem to give him any form of reaction other than a dry laugh.

“Ungrateful bitch. I could have sent my boys to do this for me instead, but I decided to talk to you.” He scoffed. “I don’t care. Turn around.”

Reluctantly you slowly turn to face him again, your body trembling as your fear filled eyes lock with his. Your heart drops to your stomach when you hear heavy footsteps walk out of the door, shutting it behind you, locks turning and trapping you with Izana.

‘Oh God oh God oh God.’

Your fear doesn’t go unnoticed by the white haired man, and he only chuckles at how stiff you were. Between the two brothers, you know Izana thrives in fear, using it to his advantage and it’s not unfounded. Notwithstanding his backing from Black dragons, Izana had taken Tenjiku from a down and out frat house, to a den of crime that holds power, trickling right into the administration of the university. Even his men know better than to ever get themselves in his bad books, because no one can ever escape him, no matter how much you try to run.

It was only a matter of time until he would make you pay for causing him problems, but you didn’t think he’d come by himself. You felt stupid for thinking he wouldn’t care about you or he’d forget how angry he was at you and leave you alone, especially with Emma still not on speaking terms with them.

He motions with his bunt for you to come closer to him and you comply, taking careful steps until you’re standing right in front of him. He eyes you again with a tepid frown. “When you meet a king, you don’t stand before him, you kneel.”

Kneel. You want to assume he’s not serious but you know better than to question him and go down on your knees, focusing your gaze firmly on your lap. It’s humiliating the way he has you at his mercy, without even moving an inch but it’s better to be compliant than to aggravate him even further by being disobedient.

You’ve learned the hard way what could happen if you resist.

From the corner of your eyes, you watch as Izana puts out his weed blunt on your reading table, before reaching behind his waistband. Your mouth grows dry the second you catch the sight of a gun, your heart pounding against your chest as he presses the barrel to your head.

‘Oh god.’ You gasp as he presses it further against your head, until you’re sure it would leave an indent. ‘He’s going to kill me. He’s going to kill me…’

“That’s odd,” He murmurs. “Usually, other people would be begging for their lives when met with a gun to their head, but you’re quiet. If not for the way your hands are trembling, I’d think you weren’t scared.”

This time, with a gun pointed at your head, you’re careful with your words. “Y-you said you won’t hurt me.” Your voice shakes with fear but you continue. You know men like Izana, he reminds you of your older brother who ruled the house outside your family with fear and control. Sometimes, when you were able to stroke his ego, he’d go easy on you. Maybe that would work on Izana too. “That you want to talk.”

“And what if I changed my mind? Pulled the trigger? That’ll make my life easier, yeah? I won’t have to fight for my sister’s love and affection with you.” 

Your breath hitches in your throat when you hear the safety go off and watch as his finger curls around the trigger. ‘Oh God, he’s going to kill me. He’ll shoot me dead.’ Tears pricking your eyes. ‘I-i have to say something- I don’t want to die-’

“I-i trust you not to do it.” You reply, your lips trembling as you struggle not to think of your head scattered into pieces on the floor if he chooses to kill you. “You’re a man of your words.”

There’s another complete silence that engulfs the entire room, until you hear a click that makes you flinch for a split second, waiting for the bullet that would end it all. Instead, it’s him putting the safety back on, and chuckling at your reaction.

“You trust me? How foolish.” He laughs, tracing the gun from your head down to underneath your chin and forcing you to look up at him. You’ve only read about people with empty eyes in stories, but seeing it in person was so terrifying. “Is that why you ended up with Mikey in his car?”

All the blood rushes from your head to the tip of your toes. “H-how do you kn-”

“I have eyes and ears in this school, (name).” You’re sure it’s the first time you’ve heard him call you by your name and despite being in a life or death situation, you couldn’t control the shiver that ran through your spine. “Not to mention, I have the video evidence of you moaning like a slut just from being fingered-”

“T-that is not what happened!” You suddenly cried out, trying to explain your own side of the story. Of all the people who know your dirty and shameful secret, Izana is the worst person, with how much he hates you. “It was a mistake! I tried to tell him I didn’t want it but I couldn’t-”

“Ah ah -” Izana cuts you off, tilting your chin higher with the gun. “Don’t lie to me. That skirt you wore was too short. You were practically sending him an invitation to fuck you.”

“No! I wasn’t trying to do anything, I just wanted to talk-”

“Really? Cause I watched the full video, you were practically pushing your thighs together, trying to get his attention-”

“No, no I- didn’t… I pushed him off the first time-”

“You were dangling your thighs like a piece of meat for him to fuck and then acted like you didn’t want it until he was knuckles deep inside you. The way you were moaning didn’t sound like a girl being assaulted. You sounded like you wanted it.”

“That’s not true-” your lips start to tremble at his words, tears forming at the corner of your eyes. You didn’t want to be assaulted, you just wanted to talk to him about the Emma issue and you wanted to apologise. “That’s not true-”

“Oh but it is.” He said firmly, now leaning in closer to your face until there’s barely any inches between the two of you. “If you truly wanted to talk you would have been more modest. We warned you that outfits like those are an invitation, but you decided we insulted you and turned our sister against us.”

“No-” your voice is small, trying to defend yourself but even you are beginning to doubt your own credibility with how he keeps twisting the narrative around until you begin to actually believe him.

‘No! Don’t let him make you think you’re in the wrong! You know what happened!’

“He even told you to leave but you refused to. Like you were baiting him to just do something bad to you so that you can tell everyone how bad Mikey is and make yourself get more sympathy points. 'Oh look, the Sano brothers struck again!' That’s what you wanted, isn’t it?”

“That’s not true! I would never do that to Mikey!” You don’t realise your tempo had suddenly gotten high or that tears had started to drip down your face, but Izana did. He doesn’t point it out, staying quiet as you start to shout at him. “I didn’t tell anyone because it would cause problems and I would never bait him into hurting me. I just wanted to make up with him because I felt that I overreacted at the party I swear! And then he assaulted me in the car -”

“But if he “assaulted” you, why didn’t you tell anyone? If that’s what truly-”

“Because I love him!”

Oh no. The words flew out of your mouth before you could even stop yourself from saying them. But before you could correct yourself, Izana hammers another nail into the coffin with his next words.

“The same way your big brother loved you, right?”

You feel weak. You’ve never told anyone that before, not even Emma. It’s a part of you that you chose to keep buried at the bottom of your heart, pretending it never existed.

“Please, Izana, pleas-”

“Did I ever tell you that I know you?” He suddenly snapped, his voice menacing. “I’ve known you from the second you stepped foot in this school. I know your sob story -the one you tell everyone, how your parents’ kicked you out for not marrying an older man. How you were homeless, living in shelters as you worked up money to go to college until you made something for yourself-”

He paused, now leaning further into your face until you smell the marijuana on his breath, his dark eyes peering at you. “But no one knows the true story. That your parents didn’t kick you out, you left.” You start to shake as he tells you the story of how your semi-peaceful life went downhill.

“Izana please stop-”

“It was your eighteenth birthday and you never quite got along with your brothers, especially the oldest one, Michael was it? Seems like you have a thing for Michael’s or rather the other way around.”

“Stop it, please-”

“So Michael and your other brothers told you that if you wanted them to like you that you’d let their college friends talk to you. You went along with it, hung around your brothers and their friends and everything was fine, until you felt tired after drinking some juice that Michael gave you-”

You hate this. You don’t even know how he found out about this part of your life, or how long he’s been holding it until he could use it but you need the story to end now, you don’t want to relieve your trauma. “You’ve made your point. I lied about running away because I was scared. Please, please-”

“Shhh,” He pushes the gun to your lips until your pleas are muffled noises. “don’t you know it’s rude to interrupt someone while they’re telling a story? As I was saying, Michael offered to carry you to your room, because you felt so tired, you couldn’t move. And oh, you poor, dumb fool. You had no idea what was going to happen that night to you as your big bro took you to his room-”

You suddenly burst into tears and without thinking, shoved the gun out from your mouth to beg him. “Stop it! Stop! I get it! I won’t tell anyone what happened between me and Mikey. Please don’t finish that story!”

Izana stops and you sigh, still not out of the woods yet, but at least you’re sure he won’t say anything else-

A scream rips from your throat as you feel his veiny palms drag you by your hair violently, to the bed. You feel like a ragdoll as he throws you onto the bee, before climbing on top of you right after. “Izana stop! STOP I-”

Your voice catches in your throat the second he switches off the safety of the gun and points it towards your window, pressing the trigger twice. You scream as the bullets pierce through the window, shattering the glass completely, and clamp a hand over your mouth when he points the gun back at you, his eyes narrowed in anger.

“Please, please, please-”

“You don’t want to hear the truth, fine. I’ll show you what your brother did to you instead, but if you as much as piss me off one more fucking time, I’ll shoot you.”

You freeze in place as he starts to lift up your long skirt with one hand until he exposes your panties. You hear him fumble with his belt buckle, having kept the gun out of your reach behind him and he pulls his black jeans enough to only expose his half-mast clothed dick.

He was getting off on imagining you being assaulted. You feel sick.

You blank out as your legs are spread apart, by his two hands, and he pushes his entire weight on you, until his crotch is pressed into yours. Shame fills you as he starts to grind against your clothed pussy, the stimulation having an undesired effect on your clit and you turn your head just not to look at him.

With each roll of his hips, you feel his thick length rub against your poor nub, wetness leaking through your panties and staining his boxers. Izana smirks at your distress, growing fully hard at how wet you’ve become from just him humping you. He leans down to your ear, hot breath hitting your neck and starts to taunt you “It’s a shame your father caught him before he could continue. He could have seen how slutty his sister was.”

You try to keep your mouth shut, tears rolling down your cheeks as he gets himself off but he wants to hear you and raises your hips higher until you're flush against his aching cock. He bucks his hips into yours at a faster pace now, targeting your clit with each thrust, coupled with his warm breath ticking your skin. The wetness has made the cotton of your panties thin, making you feel his movements until you can't stop your moans mixed with tears from spilling out of your lips.

“Iza-na please s-stop-”

He only chuckles in response to your misery. There’s just something so satisfying to him about seeing you, the girl who made Emma call him a fucking bastard beg him for mercy. Unfortunately for you, it isn’t enough for him to make you relive your trauma, no, he wants to make you really, really hurt.

“You wouldn’t have been begging me to stop if you had just let me finish my story.” He whispers against your skin, rocking his hips slower now, in circular motions. “Or maybe you hate hearing the truth about being the problem. You should have been less prettier, less provocative-”

Your skin crawls at his words and you want to protest but you lack the ability to keep yourself and your thoughts composed as he is doing right now. “It’s your fault this kind of thing keeps happening to you. You keep making men the worst versions of themselves. Your brother, for example, was a good Christian boy until you hit puberty and all of a sudden, he couldn’t keep his hands off his dick when you’re around. Mikey had never, ever forced a girl to do something with him, he didn’t need to.”

You feel ill. You didn’t mean for the incident with your brother to happen, you had no idea he felt that way, with how he violently beat you whenever you did something wrong. You didn’t know Mikey looked at you that way either, you thought he hated you. How were you meant to know anything?

Yet, it’s still your fault. Just you, only you.

“You’re not protesting it.” He articulates with timed thrusts. Your thighs are trembling underneath his grip, meaning you’re close, but your mind is not here, it's soaking up, his every confession of how he feels. “So you know what you do to everyone. Even your father, who was a good man, always got angry with you. But despite your faults, and despite what you did to your brother he wanted to keep you and offered for you to help your brother by marrying that old man and you know what you did? You ran.”

‘I ran. I ran away like a coward.’

Your mind is numb, your body feels overwhelmed, electricity running up your body as Izana guides your hips up and down his clothed shaft, tethering you to the edge, relishing every last whimper and moan you let out. “You ran away from a family that you were given for free, I would kill to have lived with my family, no matter how shit they were. Last I heard, your brother brings girls that look like you home. Because you didn’t stay in your lane to fix your family. What do you have to say for yourself?”

“So-rry.” It comes out of your mouth before you realise it. Maybe you should be sorry for the things you have done. For making them do all those horrific things to you. “I’m sorry” you sob, choking on your words as you repeat it over and over again. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. I’m sorry-”

You’re still babbling when you finally twitch in his hands, cumming all over his boxers with a quiet yelp until you can’t anymore. You’re still out of it when he pulls out his dick from his confines briefly, jerking it off and to cum all over your panties and thighs not too long after.

When you come to it eventually, he dresses properly and leaves you with his twisted handiwork. The feeling of humiliation and dirtiness hangs over your head. You feel so much shame and humiliation, like there’s dirt underneath your skin that no amount of washing would make you clean. All those things Izana said to you, the memory of your own brother assaulting you and having to relive it again feels too heavy to bear, to live with.

You’re not sure you want to live in a world where Izana has all this information about you.

Something drops on your lap and you see it’s the gun that he had threatened you with earlier. “A quick bullet to the head can do the trick. You’re guaranteed to die. If you’re dead, no one will ever know what we discussed here.” He says nonchalantly, walking past you and knocks thrice on the door before turning around to face you again. “Or if you hate me so much now, you can shoot me right here” he points at the heart. “And your secrets die with me. Not even your precious Mikey knows this.”

You realise it’s one of his sick mind games, the kind an unfair god plays for his own amusement, but at this point, you don’t care. You just want an out of this world, of being blamed for things you can’t control. Everything is your fault and if you die, maybe things will go back to normal.

And you’ll never have to face Izana again.

The door opens as you begin to pick up the gun, and Kakucho attempts to run towards you, possibly to protect Izana, only for the white haired man to shove him backwards. The two men watch, one with pure horror and one with pure amusement as you slowly press the barrel of the gun to your temple, tears rolling down your eyes.

“WAIT DON’T-”

You press the trigger before he could finish his sentence.

Bonus:

“You should have seen her face when she realised there was no bullet in the gun. Kept begging me to give her one so that she could die.”

The laughter between Izana and the rest of Tenjiku sounded like roaring in Kakucho’s ears. He and Mochizuki were the only ones who didn’t find what Izana did to you funny. He hated when Izana did things like this to innocent people like you. It was agonising to hear you cry and beg him every step of the way, even to the point of apologising for things that aren’t even your fault.

Kakucho had raised some concerns about leaving you alone in the room, as you could hurt yourself, which would be detrimental to them as they still need you alive to further manipulate things to their favour. Eventually, they decided to take you back to Tenjiku’s house and lock you in Izana’s bedroom.

Still not ideal, but it’s protected.

“Bet she cries pretty, yeah?” Ran asks, after the laughter died down. “She looks like someone who cries a lot, boss.”

“Her crying face is the prettiest I’ve ever seen, but her cumming face is better. I’ve got pictures to prove it-”

“I can’t deal with this shit anymore. I’m off to bed” Mochizuki groans, pushing himself up to leave. Kakucho couldn’t blame him, the atmosphere was toxic, laughing at your suffering for no reason. The last time he left you, you were hugging your knees to your chest, crying. He feels like a piece of shit for stalking you and then trapping you in the room with Izana of all people.

But he did it anyway, so he can’t act like he’s a saint.  He was an accomplice.

“Can you check on (name) before you go to your room?” Kakucho all but pleads. He isn’t sure he could face you after what he did to you. Mochi nods and walks away.

He thinks about the first time he met you. He could only watch from afar, admiring the way you smiled, how quiet you were compared to everyone else. You were in your own world. Izana never liked you, all Kakucho knows is that Izana hates you for throwing away the thing he valued the most, your family. But you never knew that and it hurt him to see you be punished for a crime you do not know of.

It didn’t help that you were pretty, so while you were Izana’s “type” quiet, obedient, something he could break, Izana also struggled with his hatred for you. Perhaps if you were never friend’s with Emma, he would have avoided you -

“FUCK, STOP, DON’T JUMP!”

Mochizuki’s scream cut through the entire house, interrupting the discussion. The executives instantly stood up and ran in the direction of Izana’s room, where the noise came from only to be greeted by a rather gruesome sight.

You used Izana’s Egyptian silk bed sheets to hang yourself.

Mochizuki had already rushed to your unconscious body, holding you up so that you don’t cut off your air flow and Kakucho found himself untying it from the ceiling fan as quickly as possible and the makeshift noose from your neck too.

Everything felt like a fever dream, a bad one he couldn’t wake up from as Rindou started CPR on you, with Kisaki on the phone, yelling for an ambulance while Izana counted for Rindou.

“She’s breathing again, it wasn’t too long she was suspended. She’ll live... right?”

A terrible nightmare.

special thanks to: (please turn on your mentions in 'settings' before filling the form.): @officiallyjaehyuns @haikyuusboringassmanager @ilybbg @merrymerrykiss @cockonoi @Rindou24689 @short-cxke @kokoch4n3l @GenAwi @ryuguji-sana @nuyoo @reiners-milkbiddies @kiwixpi @gh0stgirl333 @brisssaaa009 @fushiqruo @kawaiikoalagarden @damidamimongalam @raven-nevra @ilovetwodmen @kodzubaby @straightfromheaven @manchie55 @pikibee @tomeyano @matchamilktea-05 @tenjikusstuff4 @m0onz1 @hapikiou @rainnyzz @Lovelyartistz @lik0 @maraya-007 @thisismarisaaa @reeyy0-2 @littlemisspropaganda @cherie026

Yandere! Ran x Reader

Synopsis: You’ve broken yet another one of Ran’s rules and he’ll get you to love him back the only way he knows how: punishment.

Cw: intense yandere themes. Implied kidnapping. Punishment.

 Ran has been gone all day. He mentioned it this morning, how he would be back later than normal, something about how today’s Bonten mission is super important. You gave him the barest form of acknowledgment, not wanting to receive his attention so early in the morning. But it’s been over 12 hours since Ran left. He doesn’t let you wander the penthouse when he’s gone, and that means no trips to the kitchen for food. You’re holed up in the main living room with nothing to do, you are starving with no access to food, and above all else you’re livid.

Ran likes to rationalize it by saying he’s protecting and providing for you. But at the end of the day, the man ripped you from your life, your friends, your job, and like hell you’d thank him for that. He knows you don’t love him. He knows you hate his guts. It’s been months of you living under his twisted version of protection and you tell yourself that you’ll refuse his intimacy in any form- make him realize you’re a different case than he thought. No matter how cruel he gets when you refuse him, you won’t bow down. He took away your life and he’ll pay for that.

Weiterlesen

jul bc i’m thinking of miya twins x reader sandwich again but maybe wif a bit of tweencest 🥺👉🏻👈🏻 like u begging them to kiss for u and it’s reluctant but they end up liking it 🥺 and then they have their way with u huhu

hnng HNGGG hnGG 🤪🤪🤪

☀︎ MINORS DNI 18+ ONLY — miyacest, twincest, incest (HNNNGGGG), double penetration, anal, overall nasty shit 🤧

“y-ya want us to what?”

“we’re already both balls deep inside of you and—fuck—that’s what you’re thinkin’ about?”

both twins immediately still inside of you, their breathing heavy and chests heaving from exertion. you could feel their sweat trickling down your body on both sides, making you shiver in delight at how they’re still hard and throbbing inside of you.

why? cause most cocks would instantly soften at the thought of kissing their own twin, their own blood and flesh. but these two? they’re still as hard as ever, thick and twitching.

you always knew these two were wild, but just how far would they indulge your deep and dark fantasy? you hoped they would.

“pretty please?” you pout at them, turning your head to the side until you can see both of their handsome and identical faces scrunched up in an incredulous expression.

“if you do it, i’ll let both of you fuck me in the same hole,” you proposition them, making a show of clenching and unclenching your stuffed pussy around their dicks with a loud moan, causing them to gasp and curse—atsumu groaning as he bumps his forehead on your shoulder and osamu leaning on the headboard with his eyes closed.

“yup...i’ve seen both of your search histories, and they never lie.”

you didn’t know it was possible, but their bodies stiffened even more. it’s true that the brothers share fantasies of fucking you in the same hole—mouth, pussy, ass, wherever you can take both of them. they just didn’t expect that it would be at the cost of them kissing.

atsumu and osamu stare at each other for what feels like millions of years before they sigh heavily, their intense gazes never wavering as both of them loosen their resolve.

“fuck it.”

when you blink, you catch their plump lips meeting in a messy kiss, their tongues clashing and strings of saliva mixing with each other’s. you’re squished between them even more, all the muscled ridges and planes of their bodies shaping your softer and more rounded one.

they both groan into each other’s mouths, eyes closed as they nip and lick at their lips. your eyes are wide and shocked, watching the two brothers make out with each other like how they do with you, like it’s not their first time doing this.

they suddenly remember that you’re there, pussy quivering and fluttering around their twitching cocks. there’s a pit in your stomach that’s stirring and clenching, so fucking turned on at watching atsumu and osamu make out with a passion that rivals yours.

their hips start moving again, loud squelches filling the stuffy room, along with the wet clicks of their mouths meeting. the twins keep moving their heads, finding the angle that best suits them as they both fuck into you at the same time.

your cries are broken and loud, whimpers spurring them on as they both spear you on their cocks at a pace that’s harder and faster than before.

the relief that fills your body at your request being granted is not as big as the relief that floods the twins’ chests. their sighs against each other’s lips are both pleasured and relieved, small smiles gracing the corners of their mouth as their foreheads press together, the other twin swallowing the other’s groans and curses.

if you only knew how long both atsumu and osamu wanted to show you their brotherly love in a much more passionate and carnal way...because after all, it’s always been the two of them against the world, against each other’s bodies, until you came along to fill the missing piece of their love.

yeah, goodnight

*starts crying under the covers*