*sweating, Whole Body Shaking While I Stare At A Google Doc* Would He Fucking Say That????

Saw a post about the reading order of a beloved author and how their early books are a bit rocky and mediocre. Imagine if we created a writing environment that believed in and supported people, so that they could start with a slightly dumb story, and be given the connection/resources/validation/support to grow over the course of a lifetime. They wouldn’t have to hit the ground running with a splendidly workshopped series, an mfa, and an audience of TikTok followers who have promised to buy it, so that all a gatekeeper needs to do is collect the money. They could just be a chicken shed cleaner, or a mediocre small-town journalist writing one column a week (which is a job that people used to have and support an entire family - imagine writing 500 words a week and having that be your whole day job lmao) with a bad book, and forty years later they’d be a Great.

I’d like to live in a world with more Greats. There are a lot of chicken shed cleaners who are Greats and we’ll never know them.

I do not want it to be like “back in the old days” where it was only men (with housekeeper wives) writing mediocre books. I want secure material circumstances for people, and I want time for them to do something that may never “pay off.”

It's so strange to watch people writing 1,500 words a day feel all dejected that they're failing to meet par. I go for months dreaming of a writing day like that. You're doing amazingly well.

i loooooove giving my ocs perpetrator trauma. you hurt people, used and abused and destroyed them, and you will never wash out that stain. you will grow resentful of forgiveness because you refuse to forgive yourself. they don't know what you did like you do. you wear that knowledge like armor, like a sick badge of shameful pride. you can't cut off the hand that struck out and throw it away. you can't pull out your teeth and become something kinder, something more vulnerable.

I love when people get delightedly flustered by compliments. It activates some kind of insane prey drive in me. Today at lunch we had this cute trans server in a well-coordinated outfit and she got so bashful when I complimented it that I immediately became a dachshund of light flirtation and could not physically stop myself from laying it on outrageously thick just to see her begin to lose her composure and turn entirely pink.

i hope you write (i hope we both write)

best trope is the one where the character’s godlike power is also killing them btw. they don’t even lift a hand to kill the monster but now they’re delirious with fever. they save a friend’s life and said friend immediately finds them emergency medical care. they raze the enemy to nothing and it takes far too long to find their pulse with all the bruising. their friends just constantly having to patch them up and worrying over which feat will be their last. et cetera

Ahem-

Dazai Osamu and the Dark Era - Light Novel vs Anime Discrepancies

As enjoyable as the anime adaptation may be, I urge everyone to read the light novel itself!! The anime glossed over many, many important scenes which are plenty enjoyable, but one thing I feel the novel captures a lot better are Oda’s thoughts, which definitely help you understand his (slightly odd) way of thinking. Here’s just a few of the many scenes you’d have missed out on if you only watch the anime:

Prologue + Chapter 1

How Dazai injured himself on tofu.

Dazai’s cooking and his miraculous soups.

Oda’s extremely detailed breakfast routine.

Dazai’s interaction with Hirotsu.

Dazai making an order for coffee and his highly sweet tooth.

The shooter was around three meters away from Dazai, compared to the anime which was near point blank (even I could have shot Dazai at that distance without training, please.) Also, Odasaku’s thoughts about Dazai’s expression. In comparison, he’s a lot more vocal about asking Dazai to stop talking after having his hand forced.

Chapter 2

The fight with the kids.

Odasaku’s vacuum cleaner passage about Dazai. Well worth the read.

Ango commenting that Dazai and Oda stink of rotten tsukudani.

Chapter 3

At one point, Akutagawa had Gide tied up. Also, he punched him.

Oda and Gide’s first meeting, in which Oda describes Gide as handsome.

Gide has grey eyes.

Dazai proposes to arrange Gide and Odasaku’s wedding.

Odasaku’s inner thoughts when the Buraiha trio break up are also well worth a read.

Chapter 4

The chase scene when Odasaku goes for the orphans. This was moved to episode 15, but keeping this would have been more dramatic imo.

The utter resignation in Odasaku’s thoughts are much, much grimmer in the novel. Also, Odasaku picks up smoking again.

His fight with the Mimic soldiers was cut short. Just a little, though.

Odasaku smiles when he fights Gide.

Their pose is described as miraculous.

The singularity of abilities is better explained in the novel.

Odasaku’s past is slightly less glossed over/implied.

Gide tells Odasaku to say hello to the children for him.

The cigarettes. Also, Odasaku’s last words were about his true love, curry rice.

Epilogue

Only one scene was animated. Everything else is pretty important imo.

Some things I’ve noticed about Dazai’s personality/in general:

-Dazai knows how to cook, and likely taught himself how to do so, and while he has slipped strange things into food he prepared for others, it tasted perfectly fine otherwise. He’s also cooked for Oda and Ango, and Oda was willing to eat his cooking multiple times, so he probably didn’t put bad things in it all the time.

-He spends most holidays alone, such as Christmas and New Year’s, but he may have spent those times with someone else in the past, possibly Oda, as he gets somewhat sentimental.

-Dazai is an introvert, or presents largely as one outside of the situations where he needs to appear more cheerful. 

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