Latest Posts by gordonlightfooted - Page 5

confidential to our Tumblr followers, we love you the most.

The average Tumblr user

Scholastic Books and Disney are teaming up to develop a special paper so that physical books can be region locked to specific countries and cannot be copied, stopping book piracy and “lending.”

bell bottoms have never gone out of style, i think everybody has gone out of their minds instead

GIRLS!!!!!!! gather roung. we are looking at this senior citizen

In addition to their upcoming purchase of Vatican City, Disney has officially filed to copyright the Bible.

why do fingers do the thing in water

The water reveals our true form from when we shared a common ancestor with prunes.

I was put on Earth to learn lots of useless information about music that no one cares about

happy prehistoric salmon slammin saturday

tumblr girls will see their celebrity crush and be like “omg I wanna grind his bones to make my bread”

calling men babygirl helps me get through the day

Things found at Mar-a-Lago

An incomplete list of items found in the raid, in progress:

A list of all USA nuclear weapons facility locations

Detailed files of American troop movements and strategies, in envelopes with addresses in Russia, China, and North Korea

Codes to US Government vaults, safes, and Konami video games

D.B. Cooper’s parachute

5500 pages of tax evasion plans, bribes from Russia, and nudes of Barack Obama apparently taken from a White House shower

Empty moonshine bathtub gin bottles and dirt

Jimmy Hoffa (mummified)

Numerous DVDs of digital Trump self-insert My Little Pony hentai

300 lbs cocaine, 100 lbs heroin, 50 gallons of LSD, 8 bins of PCP, and some Ivermectin in an enema bulb

Numerous paintings stolen by Germany in WW2, including a room made of Russian amber and some Fabergé eggs (unhatched)

Several children with sales receipts from Jeffrey Epstein

A blu-ray copy of “The Cars that Ate Paris” by Peter Weir

A rotting bagel with olive loaf

One signed copy of “How To Violently Overthrow America When You Don’t Get Your Way” by William Luther Pierce

Bones of the Lindbergh baby

Several exhumed Popes, and half of a Bishop

A film reel of the pie-fight ending to Dr. Strangelove

A golden ‘Ark’ full of sand topped with two angels and a fedora

Genghis Khan (mummified)

A broken Swedish-made penis enlarger pump

One jar of toenails, one jar of hair, and one jar of what we all hope is mayonnaise

A postcard from a Bassetlaw Love Hotel signed, “Until next time, Milo Yiannopoulos XOXOXO”

A set of Trump-style toupées set on preserved human heads

Ben Shapiro (mummified)

Path of the Cimbrian and Teutonic migrations and invasions, 113–101 BC.

Red: Roman victories

Blue: Victories of the Cimbri and Teutons

got any facts about jpeg artifacts?

The earliest JPEG artifact dates to 900 A.D., about when the Joint Photographic Experts Group (for which the image type is named) was founded. This was of course several decades before computers, back when image compression was accomplished by mashing a clay representation down to a smaller size. The artifact itself is a small (4″) statuette resembling the Venus of Willendorf.

Most notably, the first JPEG is thought to have been sculpted by the Picts.

mutuals if we were alive 15,000 years ago and you broke your leg and couldn’t run from danger or hunt for food i would carry you to safety and bring you only the best nuts and berries until you were better again

Facts about word contractions? Where did such a thing come from? Who decided "cannot" can be "can't"?

Nobody knows who made the decision, but it is notable that many contractions once used are not used anymore. These include:

H’ere (Hi There)

Th’eat (That’s neat)

Se’sons (See Simpsons?)

Li’n’ation (License and Registration)

Wa’mr’ne (Want more wine?)

Why’bl’m’s (Why did you reblog my nudes?)

M’ven’tis’k (My venereal disease tests are back)

Spr’g’giddr’b’Sco’tr (Spielberg is a good director but Scorsese better understands the issues that effect modern cinema’s portrayals of crime and redemption)

H’dar’m’fr’c’ttal’tya’gn’be’vis‘slp’n’aa’vi’pl’s’rem’ish’d’sl (Hello darkness my old friend I’ve come to talk with you again because a vision softly creeping left its seeds while I was sleeping and the vision that was planted in my brain still remains within the sound of silence in restless dreams I walked alone narrow streets of cobblestone beneath the halo of a street lamp I turned my collar to the cold and damp when my eyes were stabbed by the flash of a neon light that split the night and touched the sound of silence and in the naked light I saw ten thousand people, maybe more people talking without speaking people hearing without listening people writing songs that voices never share and no one dared disturb the sound of silence fools said I you do not know silence like a cancer grows hear my words that I might teach you take my arms that I might reach you but my words like silent raindrops fell and echoed in the wells of silence and the people bowed and prayed to the neon god they made and the sign flashed out its warning in the words that it was forming and the sign said the words of the prophets are written on the subway walls and tenement halls and whispered in the sounds of silence)

The Strange Cuneiform Tablet of Kishar Zigan VII

This curious slab comes from around 4150 B.C.E., and belonged to Kishar Zigan VII, who was at the time of its writing believed to have been living with his parents, Kishar Zigan VI and Gilnind Hashur-Zigan.

Addressed to Zigan VII, the translation reads:

“Greetings, this is a tablet from Bauninsheg Shimsusa III writing in regards to your chariot’s extended warranty. The warranty is up for renewal. I’d like to congratulate you on your thousand shekel instant rebate and free maintenance and horse change package for being a loyal customer. Write me back at 14 Shenki-Nuesh street, Dilbat, Sumer, for details. May Enlil bless your travels.”

A strange and primordial culture indeed.

We all know that you don't take requests whatsoever, so could you please refrain from telling us facts about music?

Indeed as I never take requests, I will tell you nothing whatsoever about music.

Music was invented on Friday the 13th in February of 1970, a day known as "The Black Sabbath." It consisted of a song called "Black Sabbath" on an album called "Black Sabbath" by a band called "Black Sabbath." Despite this, their music is considered to have been quite creative for the time.

New bands formed soon after and created more music. These bands, such as "Iron Maiden" and "Motörhead," played harder and harder music to listen to. The horrible screeching noises and loud banging drums they added caused many listeners to play Dungeons and Dragons, and as a result, music was banned for several years.

When music returned with the removal of Margaret Thatcher from office, a wide variety of sounds and styles of music were born. There was “Thrash Metal,” which was known for sounding like a person yelling over a demolition derby; “Death Metal” which sounded like a bear growling at a jackhammer; and “Black Metal,” which sounded a detuned radio scraping against a rusty sheet of corrugated aluminum roofing while someone with laryngitis tried to yodel. This was known as the golden age of music.

Thrash Metal, Death Metal, and Gothic Metal all lived in harmony, then everything changed when Korn attacked. Korn was called “Gnu Metal,” because it sounded like a Gnu had wandered into a recording studio and tripped over a bass guitar. The world of music was thrown into disarray. Thrash metal bands forgot what to play, and the giants of the genre such as Metallica and Slayer began playing Country music and Hardcore, respectively. Most Death Metal bands died. And Black Metal, well, just look it up, it’s history is way more demented than anything I could come up with. Korn itself grew very popular, and gained too many emulators to count.

Thus the state of music is dire and depressive, with little apparent hope. However, recent news suggests that a “Metalocalypse” is coming, which may revitalize the musical world…

people: why are you smiling at your phone huh? is it a boy?

me watching a video of a 50+ year old man who's in a band: yes

i hate you youtube shorts i hate you instagram reels i hate you tiktokification of all social media

Tomorrow August starts and that’s practically Halloween so

God Speed by Edmund Blair Leighton

God Speed, which appeared at the RA in 1900, shows a young woman binding an embroidered sleeve on the arm of her knight as he departs, horsed, fully armed, and bearing a lance decorated with a pennant, for the tournament. Other knights have already passed beneath the portcullis and are entering the field of battle. The picture was the first of several painted by Blair Leighton in the 1900s in which a knight and his lady are seen in incidents illustrative of the code of chivalry; The Accolade followed in 1901, and The Dedication in 1908. The arms and armour which feature in all these pictures were no doubt in the artist's own collection, which is known to have included many examples.