Levi's Parkour Fail

Levi's Parkour Fail

Leviathan (leaning on the doorframe, arms crossed awkwardly but trying to look cool): Yo, MC... you wanna see something totally awesome?

MC (glancing up from their phone): Uh, sure? What’re you gonna do, Levi?

Leviathan (stepping into the middle of the room, cracking his knuckles dramatically): I’ve been practicing parkour, and I’m kinda amazing at it. I'll just give you a little taste of my elite skills.

MC (sitting up, clearly amused but playing along): Alright, Spider-Man. Blow me away.

Leviathan: Watch and be amazed! (He takes a deep breath, bounces on his toes for momentum, then launches into a backflip... only for his foot to catch on the edge of the dresser mid-spin. He flails like a dying fish, lands back-first on the coffee table, and smacks his head on the floor in one horrifyingly loud BANG.)

MC (jumping up in a panic, but also laughing uncontrollably): LEVI?! Oh my god, are you alive?!

Leviathan (voice wobbling, holding up a shaky thumbs-up): N-Nailed it…

MC (crouching next to him, half-panicking, half-wheezing): Dude, you’re bleeding! Stay still! I’ll get ice—no, wait, a medic! Oh my god, you’re such an idiot!

Leviathan (wincing, but trying to grin through the pain): Pfft. T-This is nothing... I-I’m a demon... we heal fast...

MC (laughing harder now): Yeah, tell that to the crater you left in my coffee table! Can you even move?

Leviathan (attempting to sit up, immediately regretting it): Okay, uh, don’t freak out, but I might’ve broken my back...

MC (throwing their hands up): What do you mean don’t freak out?! I’m freaking out! Stay down, you idiot!

Leviathan (weakly waving them off): Wait—don’t call Lucifer! He’ll never let me live this down! I’ve got a plan…

Later, in the hospital...

Lucifer (arms crossed, glaring down at them): So let me get this straight: you’re telling me that the two of you were attacked by a possessed bear, Levi heroically flipped over it to land a devastating blow, and in the process, broke his back and gave himself a mild concussion?

Leviathan (sitting stiffly in a neck brace, nodding enthusiastically): That’s exactly what happened.

MC (matching his serious expression): What kind of monsters would we be to lie about something so traumatic, Lucifer?! How dare you question us!

Lucifer (he walks out, pinching the bridge of his nose, muttering, leaving them alone): I can’t deal with this idiocy right now...

Leviathan (glancing at MC, wincing as he moves slightly): “Hey, uh… did I look cool before, y’know, falling?”

MC (grinning): “Levi, you looked awesome. Like a total badass.”

Leviathan (fist-pumping weakly): “Hell yeah... ow.”

MC: “Stop moving, you moron!”

I love Leviathan; I need to give him more appreciation.