Do You Know That Thing When You Open Up Tumblr And Feel Deep Confusion?

On Air

On Air by wincechesters Rating: Explicit Word count: 21k

Cas and Dean are radio DJs who host the second most popular morning show in Lawrence. They’ve been co-hosts for years at different stations across the country, and they own a house together out of necessity, even though they’re just friends. But for some reason, a lot of their listeners and even some of their friends and family seem to think that they’re secretly in some kind of relationship, which they’re totally not (besides that one time that totally doesn’t count). In spite of that, Dean thinks he’s got everything figured out, until an ill-fated on air game of Truth or Dare turns everything upside down (and the billboards around town aren’t helping either).

There are plenty of fics out there where Dean is the one dating someone and Cas is the forever single one, who gets to pine and be jealous throughout the fic before Dean realizes who he really wants.

So when I saw that in this fic it happens the opposite, I was immediately on board. Not only I have a soft spot for jealous!Dean, but it’s also refreshing to have the tables turned on them.

What begins as a harmless truth or dare game, quickly turns into Dean being confronted and ultimately realizing his feelings for his best friend. Dean has been in love with Cas for years, but not counting with “one stupid mistake” when they slept together while drunk some years ago, Cas has never showed any interest in Dean besides being best friends. To make matters worse, Cas has been dating a wonderful girl for a couple of months now. So Dean can do nothing but try to squash his feelings, all the while pining and being his grumpy self.

Fear not, though, because Cas’ relationship with Daphne happens all behind the scenes. And even though it takes a third party for our boys to get their heads out of their asses, it all comes together in the end and the reality is that both of them have loved each other for years.

Aziraphale understands suffering only as an opportunity to show how "good" you are. He doesn't understand the suffering itself because he has not experienced it. Even though he's been on Earth for thousands of years, he has never had the displeasure of actually going through the negatives of the human experience. Angels don't age and die. Angels don't need money or shelter or food. In his mind, the worst things angels face are strongly worded letters. Smacks on the wrist because, of course, their whole being is good, but everyone makes little, harmless mistakes sometimes.

He has spent his time among the humans appreciating the positive aspects of life- the fine food and drink, the art, the creation and beauty and COMFORT. He has witnessed human suffering- but he only absorbs the after effects when they're in line with his beliefs. The coming together, rising above, the triumph! They got through in the end, they proved how GOOD they are! These poverty stricken people, slaves and serfs, can rise above the system and succeed if only they are good enough. I don't think he thinks too deeply on why the people that don't get dealt good cards still have to suffer. It probably never even actually crossed his mind beyond- "Well, that is the Great Plan." And I think to him that means, the good are rewarded and the angels are the goodest of all, so we get to live in Heaven and show the right path to the pitiful humans who have to choose between Good and Evil. Except sometimes he has to face the moral grays that suffering implies, like with Elbeth in the graveyard episode. When her only friend in the whole world dies, I think Aziraphale might've secretly had a moment of

"Ah, well, there is your punishment for doing wrong."

Because he just doesn't get it. He's carrying around enough money to buy a farm. He's not human- he doesn't feel angry emptiness eating away at his guts. Every occupation is just a way of whittling away your time to him. Money is an afterthought. Money is for the idolation of material things that he tries to ignore in himself. "Why don't you start a bookshop? Farm?" He had to think of things other people do for money, and he wasn't thinking of what she'd be able to do. "Sew?"

When Maggie can't pay the rent, of course it's no problem. Why would it be a problem- he likes Maggie, Maggie is good. She loves that shop and she's sharing the music he loves with the world (and him). Benevolent- if a human was doing it. Selfish, really, of an angel. He's had thousands of years to collect money and treasures (that he doesn't even need) to rise in status. But he doesn't see it that way. He gets to live unfretted and collect and cherish for thousands of years because he is fundamentally better than the humans. But he wouldn't say that. Maybe not even think it. He just knows it in the back of his mind without having to put words to the thought. And at the same time, he feels guilty. But not for anything I've mentioned. He knows he is indulgent and in love with all the sinful pleasures of humanity. He knows he's in love with Crowley. But it is only because of the temptation of a demon. It's not his fault. On the other hand, it's not Crowley's fault that it's in his nature to tempt- that he's Evil. That is the extent he understands moral grays. So it's no one's fault, and there's no need to dwell on it. And all of this twisted up nonsense is why Crowley is so good for him. He keeps on trying to show him the other side. First the pleasures, then the pains. Crowley loves humanity too, but he has a better understanding of its depth that came from his questioning nature and his fall. He wants Aziraphale to understand and accept the whole of humanity- the whole of him. Which is what makes their romantic relationship so heartbreaking. Because Aziraphale just doesn't get it.

Google Ambient Chaos if you ever need background noises for writing! It's a customizable soundscape website.

Anon, when I first saw this ask, I thought it was going to be one of those mixers of nice, traditional sounds, like rain or a coffeeshop. And it is! And there's lofi hiphop, my favorite sound to write to! Which means this is legitimately an excellent tool for writers, and I love you for introducing it to me.

But I also want to say. There are some choices here. That I need to point out. Because they're either fantastic or questionable, and I can't decide.

Things like . . .

Couple arguing.

Medieval battle.

Beehive, where you can write to a fuckton of bees.

Crime scene.

And actually the perfect soundscape for NaNoWriMo.

(It's here, for those curious.)

AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”

Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”

🎶Troy and Abed getting Married!🎶

Well, this have been on my mind. Is this not the most Abed thing to do at his own wedding?

Oh, is that who I am now? Well, it was never that far from the surface, mate.

"No! It wouldn't be funny at all."

I think my comfort characters are burnt out pretty boys that are silly, bisexual, and sooooooo mentally unstable that are in love. I just cry in their general direction, it's like "no, my sweet child, you are good enough, be happy, you deserve it you little bitch"