Tumblr Is Full Of Phrases That We Are All So Desensitized To That They're Just Normal, But If You Say

for @billiewena‘s birthday bash → bestiesnatural

based on the comic by @pencilscratchins in their Kevin and the Wonder Twins zine!

beloved djungelskog...

AU where Mr. D claiming to be Percy’s dad accidentally counts as Claiming according to Greek god law or whatever and now all the other gods legitimacy believe Percy is his son, but if Mr. D corrects it, he has to explain to Zeus why he pretended he was Percy’s dad so now he’s like “YEP ol’ Perry Johansson is MY child wowie just look at the little fry, you have your mother’s eyes. Please stop standing next to water or you will blow my cover”

Meanwhile Poseidon is just standing off to the side like “how on earth did I dodge THAT bullet”

I dip my Delaware in a nice, toasted glass of milk

hold on a fucking second. delaware is a state?? i thought it was a river? or is the river more important than the state? why don't i know this? (i should mention i don't like in america, i'm just confused)

there is delaware (state) and delaware (river) 

both are equally strange

the state is a tiny little cryptid thing

the rive is a monster that spans new york, pennsylvania, new jersey and delaware. also washington crossed it once and that was like kinda a big deal i guess. like crossing the rubicon in rome.

the state tries to me more important with its “im the first state!!!” bs (seriously its even on the fucking license plates) but we all know. its the river.

pov: cas thinks that he found a joke book, but it's just a bunch of pick up lines and consistently bombards dean with them and dean gets really flustered

Aziraphale understands suffering only as an opportunity to show how "good" you are. He doesn't understand the suffering itself because he has not experienced it. Even though he's been on Earth for thousands of years, he has never had the displeasure of actually going through the negatives of the human experience. Angels don't age and die. Angels don't need money or shelter or food. In his mind, the worst things angels face are strongly worded letters. Smacks on the wrist because, of course, their whole being is good, but everyone makes little, harmless mistakes sometimes.

He has spent his time among the humans appreciating the positive aspects of life- the fine food and drink, the art, the creation and beauty and COMFORT. He has witnessed human suffering- but he only absorbs the after effects when they're in line with his beliefs. The coming together, rising above, the triumph! They got through in the end, they proved how GOOD they are! These poverty stricken people, slaves and serfs, can rise above the system and succeed if only they are good enough. I don't think he thinks too deeply on why the people that don't get dealt good cards still have to suffer. It probably never even actually crossed his mind beyond- "Well, that is the Great Plan." And I think to him that means, the good are rewarded and the angels are the goodest of all, so we get to live in Heaven and show the right path to the pitiful humans who have to choose between Good and Evil. Except sometimes he has to face the moral grays that suffering implies, like with Elbeth in the graveyard episode. When her only friend in the whole world dies, I think Aziraphale might've secretly had a moment of

"Ah, well, there is your punishment for doing wrong."

Because he just doesn't get it. He's carrying around enough money to buy a farm. He's not human- he doesn't feel angry emptiness eating away at his guts. Every occupation is just a way of whittling away your time to him. Money is an afterthought. Money is for the idolation of material things that he tries to ignore in himself. "Why don't you start a bookshop? Farm?" He had to think of things other people do for money, and he wasn't thinking of what she'd be able to do. "Sew?"

When Maggie can't pay the rent, of course it's no problem. Why would it be a problem- he likes Maggie, Maggie is good. She loves that shop and she's sharing the music he loves with the world (and him). Benevolent- if a human was doing it. Selfish, really, of an angel. He's had thousands of years to collect money and treasures (that he doesn't even need) to rise in status. But he doesn't see it that way. He gets to live unfretted and collect and cherish for thousands of years because he is fundamentally better than the humans. But he wouldn't say that. Maybe not even think it. He just knows it in the back of his mind without having to put words to the thought. And at the same time, he feels guilty. But not for anything I've mentioned. He knows he is indulgent and in love with all the sinful pleasures of humanity. He knows he's in love with Crowley. But it is only because of the temptation of a demon. It's not his fault. On the other hand, it's not Crowley's fault that it's in his nature to tempt- that he's Evil. That is the extent he understands moral grays. So it's no one's fault, and there's no need to dwell on it. And all of this twisted up nonsense is why Crowley is so good for him. He keeps on trying to show him the other side. First the pleasures, then the pains. Crowley loves humanity too, but he has a better understanding of its depth that came from his questioning nature and his fall. He wants Aziraphale to understand and accept the whole of humanity- the whole of him. Which is what makes their romantic relationship so heartbreaking. Because Aziraphale just doesn't get it.

Wwdits as texts I've sent

Dissociation culture is feeling tired of questioning everything

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Webtoon screenshots out of context: part 5