My Beautiful Wife Ibuprofen

“If someone does not want me it is not the end of the world. But if I do not want me, the world is nothing but endings.”

—  Nayyirah Waheed

Familiar Binding Spell 🐾

A spell meant to strengthen the bond between a person and their familiar. 

Items required:

Safely harvested fur, whiskers, or toenail clippings from your familiar 

(do not trim whiskers off of your pet, they are vital sensory tools for animals - if one happens to naturally fall out, that’s fine)

Your own hair or fingernail clippings

A crystal (or crystal chips) of your choice - personally, I would use Snowflake Obsidian because it reminds me of the markings on my bunny

Dried basil

Sea salt

A tiny jar or vial 

Brown thread or string 

Instructions:

Add the taglocks for yourself and your familiar to the jar - if you can manage to actually tie the two together with string beforehand then that’s another viable option 

Next, add the crystal you chose and a pinch of basil (love and protection) and sea salt (charging) as you focus on your intent 

Seal the jar, wrap the brown string/thread around the neck of the jar, and tie it off

Can be worn, carried on your person, or displayed somewhere you can always see it

Best places to preform spells or rituals

Being a witch and practicing witchcraft can be so great but where are the best places to preform spells and rituals?

• graveyards - where you can honour the dead and the ancestors

• a forest - some quiet time out in nature can enhance spells and your connection to the earth

• the bathtub - this can be the most relaxing state of mind when you are alone with the door locked. Light some candles and get casting just be sure to be safe around the water!

• outside in the moonlight - this is a place where your magick will get a lot of power! Especially moon spells

• in your room or sacred place in your home - this may seem “boring” but it can be one of the most powerful places considering you are near home and all your tools, it makes lots of people feel calm and at ease

Happy enchanting 🌙✨

No, dont let them come in.

Beginner Witch Tips

WARNING: I am a sarcastic butthole and it shows through out this hot mess of a post. This is some random craft junk I have learned in my days of practicing witchcraft

Witch craft is not magic.

I don’t care what you have heard. Witchcraft is not magic. It can not turn your eyes different colors. It can not make you into a animal. You will not be able to control the weather or summon wind with your fingers. Ghosts will not do as you say. This is not Harry Potter. Case closed

Intent over tools

Do you think it’s gonna matter if you use a butter knife as an athame? Or you have to sub a white candle for another color because you don’t have the funds to buy that color? Or you had to leave out an ingredient because you don’t have it or you’re allergic? No, it’s not. Witchcraft (to me) is about mind over matter. If you are making an effort for your God/god/goddess/deity/elf/fae/etc it isn’t gonna matter what or how you got there, but the intent you had getting there

Cursing and hexing is up to you and your beliefs

Totally up to you if you believe that this is okay or not. However, if you don’t like this, do not go and tell someone else it’s wrong. If they ask you how you feel you can tell them it’s not your thing. If you do like this, do not go and tell someone else it’s fine and try to get them to accept it. If they ask you about it, you can tell them that you are into it

You do not have to have an alter

It’s up to you and your practice. And if you can where you are etc. If you want one and can not have one, draw one or, my favorite, Set up a pinterest board for your god/goddess/fae/elf/deity etc. and save things that you thing relate to them.

It’s not about fancy stuff

This goes back to intent over tools, as long as you are comfortable with what you are doing and using, do it and use it. I use salsa and yogurt containers, coffee filters taped together, M&M tubes, and envelopes to keep crap in. I use a 99¢ Wal-Mart bandanna to do spells on that I got from Girl Scout camp and it has rainbow peace signs all over it. Do I care? Nope. Does anyone else care or will they judge you? Nope. we are all in the same boat here.

Hand making things is way too underrated  

I LOVE hand making things. Whether you are good or bad at it, it is a good way to save money, and personalize it just for you. Example: I made tarot cards out of printer paper that I cut out and wrote the card name, and definition of what it means (to me) and I love them. Pencil wand? Yas queen. DIY cauldron out of play-dough? Frick me u p daddy.

DONT EAT/SMOKE/DRINK SOMETHING YOU HAVE NO CLUE ABOUT

You’d think I would have to include this bUT Some things are okay to consume. Sometimes if taking a certain medicine you can’t consume that. Sometimes you are allergic to one thing, and in turn you will be allergic to that thing too. Sometimes you are pregnant and it’S HIGHLY DANGEROUS TO CONSUME THINGS WITHOUT KNOWING WHAT IT DOES

Never ignore professional medical advice and help in favor of witchcraft methods.

Case c l o s e d

Spirit workers

Not nice spirits can attach to people who have depression and anxiety more so than people who don’t

There are good and bad spirits. if one makes you feel comfomy, do not feel bad for asking it to leave/getting rid of it

Don’t ask your tarot cards every time you have a question

This happens a lot. Especially when you get a new deck and it’s so new and shiny and you can’t w a i t to get your grubby little hands on it and do crap >:D but you don’t want to get into the habbit of “ohgoshgollybatman I have to go to the store, okay let’s see if I’ll get hit by a car… oh and do I really need the applejuice..”  or “do I REALLY need this plant..” bc the answer to that is always yes duh

Divination is not for predicting the future

Now stay with me, it is for guiding you in the future. It can not tell you what day you are going to die, who you are going to marry, etc 

The future is not written in stone

Let’s sayyyyy you do a simple past, present, and future reading with tarot, and you get a bad reading for the future, it doesn’t matter. That is how it is going right now, now you can see what you need to change etc 

You dont need a fancy journal for a grimore or book of shawdows

Heckadoodle I use a binder and notebook paper so I can move stuff around. I just write with a pencil and pen, and color with dollar store crayons or collered pencils.  Now, you may be thinking, “Oh but, it’s a nice binder right?” Lemme stop you right there. It is falling apart, needs to be ducktaped, has a picture of my doggo inside and I’ve used it for school for abouutt.. 7 years? Summin’ it up: It don’t gotta be fancy

If you forget to blow out candles set a timer on your phone

I do this all the freaking time and I’ll leave a candle out, and then here comes mother. Closet underage witches know the struggle. Trying to explain why you have a burning candle left in your room. Or if you are adult and have to adult after a spell or whatever and leave the house and come back to the candle just sittin’ there. Burning away. (my mom did this once and it caught her table on fire) Timer. Yep.

You don’t have to know a certain language 

This is more focused to me bc i am nerd but okie dokie I know Latin from school, therefore I mix it into my spells (like some on @witchy-recipes-and-things) and provide a translation. I don’t want anyone to think you have to have a certain language for your craft.

How to Ouija

Tbh this is too long already so if you want another post on it tell me and I’ll make one and link it

Sigils can be drawn everywhere

In your phone case, in your wallet, in a shoe, under fingernail polish, under seats, wherever whatever-I can also elaborate more on this

TAROT IS PRONOUNCED “TARO”

CONSENT IS KEY

When doing love spells, consent from the other person is a must. 

You can be a christian, athiest, pagan, whatever, and still do witchcraft

It is about the craft, not religion 

Witchcraft is not a religion, Wicca is

And you do not have to be Wiccan to partake in Witchcraft

Sage doesn’t have to be in cone shape to burn it

I put rubbed sage meant for cooking on a metal plate and torch the sucker Shane Dawson style but with one of the long lighters, then run around my house in my underware screaming “MAY THE POWER OF CHRIST COMPEL YOU BITCH” in Latin

When cleansing 

OPEN.THE.WINDOWS.WHEN.DEALING.WITH.SMOKE Trust your witch mother who is allergic to everything and is an asthmatic, open the windows and doors. Also, as the smoke leaves you room through the windows or whatever, the spirits/bad vibes/etc leave with it

You don’t have to believe everything you read

Witchcraft is how YOU feel about things. No matter how other people feel about things

You can have your own corresponces for things

Like I think cinnamon is hot, deals with the sun, direction south, used for healing love etc., but it can be totally different for you

Divination doers do not have to be witches and witches do not have to be divination doers

S T U D Y

Can not stress this enough. This is the best thing to do even if you can not practice your craft where you are atm. knowledge is power.

So here is a list I’ve complied :D (yes I’ve made all of these, I was too bored to ask people’s permission to add things, sue me) (All of the spells are all religion inclusive)

Learn you star sign with detail Edible Flower List Witch Tools Tarot Meanings Cheat Sheet

Good First Spell-Calming Tea Spell DIY Charcoal Pencil Get Shit Done Bottle Spell to Sleep Sea in a Bottle Protection and Calm Bottle Find a Item You Lot

Referring to “When cleansing”, Line two, words 3-4, I am now your witch mother and if you ever have any questions feel free to ask! This list was requested from a witchling and if you have any requests feel free to ask :3

Made an abundance spell jar to help me get a job.

Parsley

Basil

Peppermint

A bay leaf

Chamomile flowers

Quartz chips

Pyrite

Green wax

The jar was a sample jar of local raw honey that was hecka good. Bought a full jar!

A Detailed Guide to Cleansing Your Tarot Deck

How often should I cleanse my deck and why?

Between every in-depth reading you do: they require a lot of energy and focus and can heavily impact the energy around your deck

When you get a new deck: you don’t know who has handled the deck before you or what energies surrounded it

If someone touches your deck: their energy can be easily transmitted through physical contact (which you could potentially use to your advantage if you’re reading for them)

When you see multiple cards from a recent previous reading appear in your current reading: a sign that the energies of the people you are reading for a becoming muddled

At different times of the year - equinoxes, full moons, first day of a season: routine cleansing is a great way to keep your cards in good shape

If you haven’t used it in a while: old, built up energies need to be cleared to help “wake up” your deck after it’s been sitting unused

How can I clean my deck?

With a cleansing sigil: place the deck in the on top to the sigil and write “Negative energy” or “Old energy” for removal

Passing through some sage smoke: sage is a great all around cleanser!

Shuffling while focusing on cleansing: shuffling reorganizes the cards and is a quick method for cleansing in between consecutive readings

Place a clear quartz on top: quartz, especially when charged with light from a full moon, absorbs negative and foreign energy really well

With the light of a full moon: the full moon represents new beginnings and holds strong cleansing power, place on a window sill overnight 

Meditation with a focus on cleansing: sit near or hold your deck, close your eyes, focus on your breathing (count your inhale as 1, exhale 2, inhale 3, etc until 30), then imagine a white, cleansing light enveloping your deck

Make a salt circle around your deck: can get kind of messy, but the salt will absorb negative energy, make sure to dispose of it after!

Put the cards in order (by suit, element, number, or astrology): sorting your deck will give it a fresh start, make sure all the cards are upright as well!

Knock three times: another quick way to cleanse or “wake up” your deck, especially great for after you haven’t used your deck in a while

Lunar Phases - Explained 🌙

Because I kind of have my own correspondences for the phases of the moon, I thought I’d explain them here! 

New Moon - the moon is just beginning to become illuminated, so it can correspond with new beginnings, a fresh start, cleansing, exploring new opportunities, newfound health or relationships, finding peace with yourself and moving on - “out with the old and in with the new.”

Waxing Moon - the moon is continuing to grow, becoming more and more visible, so it can correspond with attraction magick, reaching goals, manifestation magick, positive energy, success, wishes, good luck, gaining wealth, and dreams come true. 

First Quarter - this moon is halfway illuminated, on its way to becoming fully illuminated, so it can correspond to balance, and the need to make decisions. 

Full Moon - the moon is fully illuminated, so it can correspond with extra energy, a magickal boost, cleansing, charging, enchanting, performing divination, and honoring lunar deities. 

Third Quarter - this moon is also halfway illuminated, but on its way to becoming invisible in the sky, therefore while it can still correspond with balance, it can also correspond to focusing on the task at hand, banishing, and breaking old habits. 

Waning Moon - the moon is becoming less illuminated, and seems as though it’s disappearing, so it can correspond to generalized negative energy, reflection, introspection, transformation of the self, banishing things, binding others actions or undoing bindings, letting go, moving on, cleansing, breaking bad habits, and finding peace. 

Dark Moon - the moon is completely hidden in the sky, with no illumination at all, so it can correspond to cursing, banishing, binding, seeking justice, reflection of the self, and generalized destruction. 

Blue Moon - this moon is either the third of four full moons in a season, or a second full moon in a month, so it’s appearance can correspond to wishes, dreams, divination, achievement, and focus. 

Black Moon - this moon is an additional new moon that appears in a month or in a season, or the absence of a full moon or of a new moon in a month, therefore it can correspond to extra power and manifestation.