Adults: Following Rules Is Good, Not Following Rules Is Bad

You Belong Here

Request: Hiii, I love your stories! I dont know if you do things like this but I was wo dering if you could do one about a nonbinary reader. Like, TFW dont know they're nonbinary and reader gets fed up with being misgendered and let's them know and then gets scared they wont like them. You by no means have to!

Masterlist

Story:

"Hey, you seen [Y/N] today? I wanted to see if she'd come help with the supply run", Sam asked as he walked into the Bunker's library. He'd found Cas sitting at the table with a pile of books in front of him, and he looked up at Sam with a puzzled expression.

"Yes", he nodded once, then looked back to his book, leaving Sam standing there.

"Uh, wanna let me know where you've seen her?" He asked, crossing his arms. He was met by a sigh behind the pile of books.

"I'm here, Sam", [Y/N]'s head popped out from behind the pile. "I'm just helping Cas out with this archiving, I can come help in about twenty minutes?"

"Sure, meet out in the garage?" He asked, and [Y/N] gave him a nod and small smile before he left. They looked back down to the book they'd been reading, leaned their head on their hand and sighed again, lazily flicking to the next page.

"Are you alright?" Cas asked, looking up from his book.

"Yeah, I'm fine".

"You seem a bit... annoyed. Do you not want to go on the supply run?"

"No, it's not that", [Y/N] paused for a moment, thinking about whether or not to tell Cas why they had been a bit down since moving into the bunker not that long ago, but then decided they didn't feel up for the conversation, or the potential reaction. "I'm just tired".

He tilted his head at them for a moment before reaching his fingers to [Y/N]'s forehead.

"I said I was fine, Cas".

"You shouldn't be tired, it's only 11am", he closed his eyes in concentration before pulling his fingers back. "You don't have any ailments. Are you depressed?"

"What? No!" [Y/N] shook their head and closed the book they were looking at, before standing up from the table. "Look, can you just help Sam with the supply run? I just want to be alone for awhile". Cas looked concerned, and like he was about to say something else, but [Y/N] cut him off first. "Don't go saying anything to Sam or Dean, I don't need them worrying when there's literally nothing to worry about. I just want a nap, that's it, okay?"

"Alright", Cas didn't look convinced, "but if something is wrong, you should tell one of us, so we can help".

"Thanks Cas, but I don't need help from any of you, I just need a nap". [Y/N] started to walk out of the room, but stopped just as they were about to pass by him, and took a deep breath. They felt a bit guilty for being short with him when he hadn't done anything wrong. "I do appreciate you wanting to help". [Y/N] squeezed his shoulder gently and Cas nodded, the concern still evident on his face, but looked back to his book as they left the room.

***

[Y/N] did actually decide to go for a nap. Partially because they were a little bit tired, but mostly because they hated lying to Cas, and they knew that if Cas asked them how their nap was, and they hadn't actually taken one, he'd see straight through the lie. They'd woken up a few hours later and had just spent a few minutes lying on the bed, staring up at the ceiling. They'd had the conversation many times in their head since they'd met Sam, Dean, and Cas. [Y/N] had never told them their pronouns. The conversation always went south in their mind. They'd told other hunters before and it never once went well. In the hunting world, you either had to be a strong, tough man, or a strong, tough woman. Anyone who didn't fit into one of those two clearly defined roles was ridiculed and never taken seriously by the other hunters, who weren't known to be overly accepting or understanding at the best of times. [Y/N] thought back to when they'd met Garth, not someone who you'd typically think of as strong or tough, and he didn't make it as hunter in the end. [Y/N] knew it was because he didn't fit into the set roles. He ended up being a werewolf dentist. What would [Y/N] end up as if they weren't a hunter? They couldn't think of anything else they wanted to do.

They were pulled from their thoughts by a knock on the door, followed by it opening to reveal Dean's hand on the handle. "Hey, you decent?" He asked before looking.

"Yeah, you can come in", [Y/N] said as they pushed themself up to lean on their elbows. "What's up?"

"Sam said you ditched him earlier, and Cas said you were being weird", he said as he walked into the room. "You good?" He crossed his arms and looked down at them. They sighed and pushed up more to sit up properly, lessening the height gap between the two.

"Yes, I was just tired. I told Cas not to mention anything. I wasn't being weird".

"Are you awake enough for a movie marathon? We're each gonna choose a movie, and Sam picked up your favourite snacks on his supply run". He smiled at them and they couldn't help but smile back.

"Sure, sounds good".

"Great", he grinned and clapped his hands. "Come to the Dean Cave in about twenty minutes". He turned on his heels and left the room, a bounce in his step. Dean always got excited about movie nights. It was a nice break from the hunting. [Y/N] got off the bed and headed over to their closet, looking through it for something comfortable to wear. They settled on sweatpants and a t-shirt, but the cool air of the bunker made them decide that a flannel might be a good idea too. They picked one out, similar enough to what Sam and Dean wore, and threw it on over the t-shirt, leaving it unbuttoned to allow for comfortable lounging.

They dragged their feet down the corridor twenty minutes later, still not in the best of moods, but looking forward to hanging out with the boys without having to talk much. Sam's voice was echoing in their mind from the morning though. "I wanted to see if she'd come help", and "wanna let me know where you've seen her". He hadn't meant to hurt [Y/N] at all, and they knew that, but they couldn't help but feel hurt and like Sam and the others didn't really know them, like they were keeping secrets. Cas and Dean were already in the room when [Y/N] walked through the door, and while Dean smiled at them, Cas had that same concern on his face from earlier. They were about to sit down when Cas spoke up. "That's usually where Sam sits".

"Oh, sorry", they said, walking over to another chair. "Didn't realise we had assigned seating", they muttered under their breath. They saw Dean slap Cas on the arm while shaking his head out of the corner of their eye.

"She can sit wherever she wants Cas", he chuckled. "Sammy won't mind".

"Sammy won't mind what?" Sam asked as he walked into the room, a tray of snacks in his hands. He bent down to put it onto the table before sitting down in his chair, kicking his feet up onto a footrest to get comfortable.

"Nothing", [Y/N] said but Dean cut across them.

"She was about to sit in your seat, but Cas wouldn't let her", he chuckled and Sam laughed, his dimples showing.

"Cas, you don't have to protect my chair from [Y/N], this is her home too, she can sit wherever she wants".

"They", [Y/N] corrected them before clapping their hand over their mouth and widening their eyes, surprised by their own reaction.

"Hmm?" Dean asked, not really paying attention as he was looking through the snacks.

"Sorry [Y/N], I didn't catch that over Dean crinkling all the packets of chips", Sam said, sparing a moment to glare at Dean before looking back at [Y/N].

"[Y/N] said 'they'", Cas said. "I'm not sure what it means in this context".

"Dean, can you stop making noise for five minutes so I can hear her talk?" Sam furrowed his eyebrows at Dean who was still in the process of opening up all of the snacks and looking through everything. Dean gave him a look but sat back on the couch, turning to look at [Y/N].

"Floor's all yours, Sweetheart", he said and they cringed at the nickname.

"I'm not 'Sweetheart', Dean. I'm not she, I'm not her, I use they/them pronouns, okay?"

Dean looked to Sam in confusion, not knowing what to say, but Sam just sat there in silence too. When no one spoke, [Y/N] could feel their cheeks heat up in embarrassment, and their lower lip trembled as they pushed up out of the chair and ran out through the door, straight down the corridor to their room, and closed the door behind them. They immediately pulled out their hunting bag and began to haphazardly throw all of their belongings into it. That was it, they messed up, and now the boys were going to kick them out. They were going to lose the only home they'd known in years, the only family they had left, all because they'd snapped. They could barely see through their tears as they zipped up the bag, slung it over their shoulder and headed to the door. When they opened the door they were met with Dean, and Sam and Cas right behind him.

"Where are you going?" Dean asked with his eyebrow raised.

"I need to go", they wiped the tears from their eyes.

"Go where?" Dean asked, his arms now folded, his frame blocking the doorway.

"Dean", [Y/N] sniffed, "I need to go before you kick me out. I can't take that right now, okay? So please, just let me go".

"No one's kicking you out, [Y/N]", Sam said from behind Dean. "We just want to talk. You're clearly upset, just talk to us, explain how we can make it better".

"What?" [Y/N] asked as they wiped another tear away.

"You said you use they/them pronouns. We just didn't know. Why didn't you tell us earlier?" Sam asked.

"You're hunters. From experience, it's not a good idea to share that kind of thing with hunters. It can be dangerous".

"Has someone hurt you?" Dean's jaw clenched as he stepped into the room.

"Not recently", [Y/N] said quietly. "You're really not going to kick me out? I don't belong here".

"Just because you don't belong in a certain category doesn't mean you don't belong here with us", Sam said, following Dean into the room and placing his hand on [Y/N]'s shoulder. "You belong here", he squeezed comfortingly. "Is this why you've been seeming... down since moving in? Have we been making you uncomfortable?" They were avoiding his eyes, but his voice sounded genuine.

They shrugged, and then felt a hand on their arm. Looking down, they could see Dean's hand tugging them towards the bed. "Sit with us, talk to us, tell us who you are". He said, his voice sounding almost pleading. "We don't want you to leave". They looked him in the eyes and could have sworn there was a tear there. He looked genuinely upset at the thought of them leaving, which wasn't something they were used to seeing. They finally looked up at Sam, then Cas, and could see the same concern in their eyes too.

"You know who I am, Dean. I'm still me, I haven't changed. I'm just nonbinary. I don't like being called feminine words, and I don't necessarily like being called masculine ones either. I don't know, it's like I'm neither and both at the same time as being something else entirely. Sometimes I think I'm broken", they confessed, more tears coming out. Sam gently reached for the bag on their shoulder and slid it off, letting it fall to the ground. He then led them to sit down beside Dean, who put his arm around their shoulder and lightly squeezed. Sam kneeled down in front of them and looked up, a serious expression on his face.

"You are not broken. You're [Y/N], and we like [Y/N]. I want you to believe that, because it's true, okay?"

"Okay", they said quietly.

"You may not know this, but this is not my first time on earth", Cas said, walking over to stand in front of them. "I have seen many other societies of humans. You would be surprised by just how many of them had three, or four, or no limit to the number of gender roles one could identify as. I remember one that had no concept of gender at all".

"Yeah, and it's not just in the past either, there are societies that are alive and well today that don't have a binary system", Sam smiled up at them. "I was just reading about it the other day".

"It's a relatively recent concept, only having two genders. You're not broken, you're just living in the modern western society", Cas added.

"Yeah, and if you think about it, being a man or a woman doesn't even mean the same thing in this society as it did fifty years ago. It's a constantly changing thing". They looked to Dean as he spoke. "I'd know, I've time travelled", he winked at them and they chuckled a little, the panic they had earlier now dissipating.

"So, you prefer they/them, right?" Sam asked, and [Y/N] nodded. "Cool, that's what we'll use then".

"You don't think I should give up hunting? I mean, I don't really think I fit the role now that you know. Like how Garth didn't really fit the role".

"Garth?" Sam furrowed his eyebrows in confusion. "Garth only gave up hunting when he became a werewolf and fell in love and had kids. Even still he does a bit from time to time when he comes across something. Sure, he wasn't the stereotype you think of when you think of hunters, but he still was one. We worked with him plenty of times, never had any issues other than the fact that he could be a bit clumsy".

"And there was that time he tried to be the new Bobby", Dean shuddered slightly at the memory. "He livened up the place though, it would be boring if everyone was the same and grumpy all the time".

"Yeah, can you imagine a room full of Deans? The fuel of nightmares", Sam grinned as [Y/N] smiled at him.

"You feel up to our movie marathon?" Dean asked, squeezing their shoulder, and [Y/N] took a deep breath.

"Only if I can have Sam's chair", they smiled at them all and they all laughed, looking relieved that they'd managed to convince them to stay.

"It's all yours", Sam grinned, pushing himself up to stand and holding out his hand. [Y/N] took it and he pulled them up. Sam and Cas left the room, and [Y/N] started to follow them when Dean stood up to walk beside them, nudging their shoulder gently.

"Hey, kiddo", he said, and they looked to him. "No one's gonna hurt you again, not while the three of us are around. If someone so much as looks at you the wrong way, we've got your back".

"Thanks, Dean", they smiled at him. As they walked back to resume their movie marathon, [Y/N] felt a weight lift off their shoulders. For the first time, they felt like they fit somewhere, or like they didn't have to fit, like they belonged somewhere, were wanted somewhere, and they knew they were safe and loved. They only hoped that one day, it would be that easy no matter where they went or who they met, but this was a good start. They smiled.

The end

Dean Winchester taglist: @123passwort @janineb86 @k-slla @lyarr24 @candy-coated-misery0731 @jackles010378 @hobby27 @pizzagirlxnsfwx @itburnslikehelltobevega @queenie32 @livingdead-reilly @vmaier12 @littlemadamred @darthysfanfic @dramatic-long-coats @kr804573

Sam Winchester taglist: @123passwort @janineb86 @hobby27 @angelwiththeshotgun @pizzagirlxnsfwx @livingdead-reilly @fuiabarcelos @vmaier12 @littlemadamred @kr804573

Castiel Taglist: @123passwort @janineb86 @hobby27 @angelwiththeshotgun @pizzagirlxnsfwx @vmaier12 @kr804573

Me, writing something at 1 am: Omg I'm literally a genius this words sound amazing I ate totally whith this one omfg

The writing:

I cant tell if i want to be with her or be her at any given point in time

Kirsten being pretty :3

Taglist: @starch1ldz, @the-gregster, @jaden-reid, @lover-of-books-and-tea, @gayaristocrat, @ruby-d1amond, @fuckingstrange, | Add yourself here !

(she is currently not on my tag list !)

Lets break back into the swing of things!

send me “have you evers” and I can only reply with “yes” or “no”

I like the little tumblr badges, whenever tumblrs like hey, wanna give us $2.99 a month for a shiny thing I’m all so tempted too

I don’t have 2.99

I don’t have the money to go into debt for shiny badges on tumblr of any kind

But i just might

Me after the 5 minuete lecture break

Real

I cant start a conversation but i can yapp once you start one

me when i wanna talk about my special interests but i got the vampire autism where you gotta invite me to talk about smth first, otherwise i wont say shit or dont know what to say because i feel like im annoying

when doms coo out a soft ‘there you arreee’ the moment their sub finally gives in and starts whimpering, gasping, making the prettiest noises while being absolutely ruined >>>

the priest writing down masurbate. the chorusing nuns. the flash of ankle. we're so back

Forgot to say, hi im back off of hiatus, new fandoms n all

Anyway hiiiii

(Bestie was very excited about this)

@bipaniccosplays