Just So You Know I Know This Dynamic Is Toxic And I'm Not Romanticizing It :/ I'm Actually Sexualizing

"I have depression." - character who has been through extensive therapy.

"I feel dead inside all the time and nothing helps!" - character who does like, regular introspective thinking and is aware of the concept of mental health.

"Leave me the fuck alone I'll be fine once I get over my stupid shit." - repressed character.

"It's fine I'm just having an Empty Time. What? Yeah, empty times, you know, when everything is like bzzzzzz in your brain and you don't shower for two weeks. Why, what do you call it?" - ooooughhh now we're talkin

(shouting through megaphone)

LOUD REMINDER THAT IF U HAVE QUESTIONS ABOUT MY OCs YOU CAN ASK THEM AT LITERALLY ANY TIME

I FOUND THIS IN SOMEONE'S RULES, AND IT'S RELEVANT

I like to know my writing partner. This isn’t always necessary, and if you’re not the sort of person who tries to get chummy with their roleplaying buddies, that’s absolutely fine, but in my experience, the plots and characters that last the longest are the ones with the players that I can message at 3 in the morning with an idea without feeling like I’m bothering them. 

It's utterly magnetic when a character's rage is quiet and precise. When they don't scream and throw things but they just b r e a t h e and very very calmly aim their fury like an arrow shooting inexorably towards the target of their wrath. It captures my attention, I lean in close, I wait for the hit. It never disappoints.

"doesn't this charater under insane stress going through extremely traumatic events realize how inconvenient their irrational emotional reactions are to the people around them?" well, see, you're not gonna believe this, but the thing is,

i loooooove giving my ocs perpetrator trauma. you hurt people, used and abused and destroyed them, and you will never wash out that stain. you will grow resentful of forgiveness because you refuse to forgive yourself. they don't know what you did like you do. you wear that knowledge like armor, like a sick badge of shameful pride. you can't cut off the hand that struck out and throw it away. you can't pull out your teeth and become something kinder, something more vulnerable.

it has to be said i <3 characters who are victims of circumstances they created for themselves. especially when the bed they made for themselves to lie in is so horribly cruel and punishing that it interrogates the idea that anyone can be truly said to "deserve" anything at all.

Hey there, it's been a while.

I am really at a loss for direction or how to jump back into things, but I miss writing, and I miss all the really neat OCs I got to write with.

For now I'll probably lurk and look for ask memes to reblog. If you have me on discord, feel free to tag me if you're interested in interaction!

me making my oc a worse person

Things have improved a bit on my end enough that I'm really missing the activity but now I'm feeling awkward about wanting to refollow people :')

agh. I truly wish I had more consistent energy levels.

Hey y'all, I've got to give a quick more OOC-focused update. A month or so ago I went through a huge energy crash I'm still kinda recovering from due to spreading myself too thin trying to keep up with too many things and do too many things at once.

I'm going to try to have a presence here again but I think I'm going to have to unfollow blogs that don't form a core relationship for my OCs because I simply don't have the energy to keep up with that much these days. Please don't read anything personal into it, I am just exhausted and have been at my limit for too long and I need my RP dash to be one I can easily catch up on in a few minutes.

Thanks!