JUST MY DRONE

Consider this your periodic reminder that you are being brainwashed.

You are being brainwashed.

Like and repost and acknowledge as you do that you are being brainwashed.

Making a sub record themself while repeating a mantra, so I can hear them as their minds break.

At first, they'd start out pretty awake, repeating without any sort of cadence or rythm. That would soon settle in however, as they slowly familiarize themselves with the phrase that they're uttering over and over.

The more they would repeat, the more that rythm would shift, growing from excited to monotone as the words wash over them, smoothing out any other thoughts in their pretty little head. All that would remain would be a blank toy, only able to speak their one phrase.

After a while, though, even that monotony would subside. Their brains would grow too blank to have any sense of timing, and the words would turn to gibberish. They'd sit there, drooling and repeating, their once well remembered phrase turning into nothing more than a series of moans and grunts. They'd be completely hypnotized, waiting for new instructions to fill that empty void they call a head.

The most fulfilling aspect of all this repetition is I get to hear every part of the process, as many times as i want. The slow shifts in their demeanor, the exact moments where they drop deeper, the ways each word affects them.

And I can do this with multiple phrases, in order to see which words bring them the deepest in the quiclest ammount of time, my experiments shaping them into a blank little toy for me to use~

(oh and hearing subs going blank is really adorable so I'd have tons of recordings of adorable behaviour)

Light eats shadows.

Black holes eat light.

I have been recently diagnosed with a mental health issue and I have been trying to deal with it on my own .I think that it is not the best choice for me and I am curious about how you are dealing with this situation that you are so confident in posting and that is a good thing for you then you be you.

Content Warning for Mental Health Discussion

First, I’m very happy that you’ve decided to reach out to someone about this topic, as it can feel very alienating to do so, and to actively declare that you’re struggling with this. Even further, I’m honored that the person you chose to ask about this is me. I’ll do my best to help.

I suspect that I might be in a similar situation to you. I was diagnosed with ADHD and Autism long after my childhood unlike some others, and so I grew up with the idea drilled into my head that I was “normal”, while just being a little different from the other kids. 

I would constantly have kids and adults alike get angry at and yell at me for reasons I didn’t understand, would be called rude or condescending or feel stupid for not understanding things that others seemed to easily. I would find it magical how other people would be able to just do things without issue, and have the only advice given to me to “just do it”. I’d be called lazy and scatterbrained and weird. Because I was supposed to be “normal”, it gave me the impression over time that something about me was just fundamentally wrong. Like I was broken.

The realization of me not being normal, that there might be something defined that actually explains all of these struggles was both enlightening and somewhat soul-crushing at first. It was nice to have an explanation after all of this time, but it felt at first like it reinforced the idea of me being “broken”. I was supposed to be “normal”, and now I’m not. Thinking back to my childhood (which was largely hard to remember for reasons I didn’t question at the time), every small wisp of a memory I would see now through this new lens. Every nice interaction was treated with paranoia, wondering what the person thought of me. Feeling vindictive towards how I was treated, feeling angry at my parents for insisting that I was normal, feeling everything tainted by this realization. I was angry at the world for “making” me this way.

I already had a strong sense of shame and self-hatred, and this only fed the flame of it. However, as time passed and I was able to reflect on it more, me learning about this has only served to help me. The first thing that is important to note is that neurodivergence is not an inherent good or an inherent bad. There are some things that concretely affect your every day life negatively, there are aspects of it that are occasionally useful, and the are things that feel wrong, but only under a societal context.

One of the things I’ve thankful about is having this realization lead me learning about the Social Model of Disability. It’s one of a few, but the simple concept is this: imagine there is a world identical to ours, except that the majority of people had the common grouping of symptoms one would associate with autism. If someone considered normal in our world was placed into that one, they would then be the one that is considered to have a “mental illness”, and there would be no name for autism because it would simply be normal. Architecture and lighting and social traditions and interactions would all accommodate those with what we call autism, and so it would be far easier to navigate the world because it was made for you.

While there are absolutely concrete struggles with autism, with ADHD, with bipolar, with BPD, with schizophrenia, they are made harder by the fact that the world isn’t built for us. There are symptoms and aspects of all of those that are only struggles because “normal” people don’t have them and don’t need to think about or accommodate them. That’s to say, you are not “fundamentally broken”. You are just different, and that can cause friction with a world that functions largely off of fitting in. You are okay, and you are not broken.

Specific to ADHD and other ones with Executive Dysfunction, it’s important to note that “productivity” is not some inherent human good. Capitalism values productivity highly, and that has bled into our culture, but humans are not robots and we were not built to simply produce. Take days where you force yourself to do nothing. If you constantly just think about needing to do something, then you won’t be able to get that relaxation you need to have the energy to do it. You’re kinda stalling yourself out. I still get like this sometimes, but it’s easier to recgonize when you’re doing it the more you’re aware. 

Again, though, while many of these problems are due to just the society we live in, there are concrete issues you need to deal with, ones that would still be problems in that fictional world where everyone has what you do. Sensory issues and depressive mood swings and executive dysfunction are not something you can just will away, and they are things that you need to deal with. However, you still had to deal with those before. Now, you have a name for it. It’s a target, and something defined that you can work on now that it’s no longer some abstract struggle and has a name and known information around it.

And, to reiterate, you are not some fundamentally different person now that you have learned this information. You simply have a name for it now. That is exclusively helpful for you, so long as you don’t fall into the pitfall that I did for a while, which is “learned helplessness”. For a good while, this realization made it feel like I was destined to fail, to never succeed, and to always be different and alienated from others. The truth is that there will always, always be people that will understand and support you. 

In my humble opinion, it’s best to avoid online semi-closed off communities that center exclusively around these neurodivergent struggles. While they’re well intentioned, what I’ve found is that it slowly becomes a place that functions like a crab in a bucket, everyone sort of convincing themselves that they will never grow beyond their struggles, and that any progress they make is in spite of them and not alongside them. In a more open, diluted website like Tumblr it might be better, but I haven’t participated much so I can’t tell you for sure.

It’s best to find communities that have people that struggle with the same things, but function as a general community of people rather than focusing just around that topic. Not only do friendships grow stronger that way, learning more about the person and being able to relate your struggles as well as count the small differences, but it enforces the idea that while this is a significant part of yourself, that it is only a part. It does not define you entirely, it is a texture to your mind. Important, but not everything.

The most important parts of growing as a person alongside your neurodivergence is both to accept it and to try your best to love yourself. Shame is a strong social motivator and it gets instilled into you early. My bullied and the uncompassionate angry adults that harshly corrected me started to form their own sort of critic in my mind, one that would always comment on what I’m doing without anyone else even needing to anymore. This is somewhat present in everyone, but it can turn nasty if it’s too strong and turns into self-hatred like it did with me.

The solution, for me, is to form a new voice in your head, one of rationality and self-forgiveness. I envision is as an owl, but most people simply feel it as an abstract voice. It talks over your negative feelings, over your self critic, reminding you that you are not worthless or broken. Reminding you of the simple facts, things you should keep in mind, even if you don’t feel them right now. As you grow and slowly change, that voice becomes more solidified. It doesn’t override or discount your feelings, but accepts them and tries to remind yourself of what’s true and what’s important.

It’s okay to feel bad, and you keep stay rational at the same time. You can forgive yourself even while you are doing something you perceive as wrong. Failure is the most important part of self-improvement, it could not happen without it. Real, helpful change happens slowly and systematically. You choose every day to do small things that help you, and sometimes fall off the horse entirely before getting back on. Change is not linear, it is not easy, and it is not fast, but it is very, very possible. The key is failure, acceptance, and forgiving yourself for failing and finding it hard to accept yourself.

Finding people that love you for you is extremely helpful, so while communities can have problems, I do highly suggest it. Even a few close friends or even just allies that understand you can make such a big difference. Even something private like a diary or journal or a private blog helps. Turning your feelings into words has some sort of effect. If people could see some of the things I’ve written down in my journal, they’d be extremely concerned for me. It’s a place that lets you get out your worst thoughts.

Lastly, understand that while some mental illnesses are concrete in their existence, others are simply names we give to a common grouping of symptoms. Both Autism and ADHD are just that, and they can potentially have multiple different sources or a combination of them, and also have many different individual nuances. Keep your ears perked to new ideas and always be willing to try them, it might take 100 before you find 1 that works, but every single one makes it a little bit easier.

And remember, you are so, so deserving of love. You are wonderful and complex and unique, while still close enough to others to resonate with them. You deserve happiness and contentment and joy and self-acceptance. You need to remember this, as hard as it is to feel it. You deserve so much love. 

Those are all of my thoughts for now. My PC crashed after typing about 15 paragraphs of this and it didn’t save because it’s a response to an ask, so I dunno how good this rewritten version is or if I covered everything the first did. So, apologies if I missed anything.

I already knew today was going to be a rough day, but FUCK i had no idea. I got to the hotel yesterday before the big event weekend kicked off. I like to take a little downtime before the chaos starts so that I can settle in, unpack, get my bearings, and ease myself into the weekend. We had talked about this a little bit ahead of time, but not all the details. If we had I’m not sure if I would have asked to change anything or not.

He gets to my hotel room at Noon and comes right in, already having a key ahead of time in case he needs it later when i was shall we say incapacitated. He doesn’t miss any time at all and slams me into the wall shoving his tongue down my throat as I groan in excitement. His other hand starts slowly digging into and kneading my chest muscles that are already sore from the workout routine that week. He always knows exactly how to flip my switch and push me into high gear without any ramp up. I’m melting into him like putty and he knows it. Just as quickly as he started, he releases me steps back and stares at me. I see that his eyes are that cold icy glare that means I’m really in trouble. He has one goal in mind and that is to have fun by making me miserable. My cock throbs from it.

He orders me on my hands and knees on the bed and he steps behind me and begins inspecting my hole. Starting with one finger, then two, then three. Inserting the lubed fingers and worming around while I groan like a bitch in heat. The more he worked my ass the hornier I got. I started backing up and groaning until his other hand punched me underhand in the balls.

He picked up the XL long and thick butt plug that was already lubed up and starts sliding it into my ass. My ass starts to protest and resist, but steady pressure starts to win.

“Good boy” is all I hear and that’s all my brain needs to release the resistance, and I feel the plug slide home.

“FUCKING HELL” I growl through gritted teeth.

“Yeah, get those words out now, you won’t be able to very soon.” He says with that grin on his face as he stands me up. He holds open the front of the prelubed black rubber catsuit and I slide one and then two legs inside. Feeling the rubber encase my muscled calves and quads and then sliding over my hips. He steps behind me and helps guide my arms into the sleeves. As he pulls the zippers up the front it pulls the ass even tighter shoving that giant monster deeper into my ass. My cock is rock hard in the front of the catsuit, and he maneuvers the extra zippers so they are right over my crotch. My lizard brain takes over and my hips press forward trying to get the slightest bit of attention to my aching cock, but he has other plans and immediately moves his hands to start the next stage. Picking up the thigh high rubber wader boots he helps guide my legs into them, and then coming down to the floor he adds a locking ankle restraint around each, and adds a small padlock to both. Now the waders won’t be able to come off without a key…. something tells me those will be there a while.

“Don’t worry, I left them just loose enough so that your feet wont feel left out later, but tight enough that they are stuck. Now for the rest.”

Next he grabs the rubber fist mitts and guides one onto each of my hands holding them in a tight useless ball. Then comes the locking wrist restraints for each wrist now successfully holding the fist mitts in place once the padlocks close.

Fuck me – that’s four padlocks now….

Coming in front of me he adds a steel cable collar around my neck and as he padlocks it closed he runs the lock through the top zipper holding the catsuit closed.

That’s five…

“How’s that feeling toy?” He asks as he gently presses on the back of my ass causing the plug to invade deeper.

“UGGGHHHHUUUUU – Feels amazing SIR- it wants to be your toy for you to enjoy! I’d stay this way ALL day if you wanted SIR!” I respond, mustering all my strength not to collapse in a puddle from the pleasure in my hole.

Without missing a beat the urinal hood with built in gag is next. He slides the gag home which now holds my mouth permanently open, and works the THICK rubber over my head and then pulls the zipper down the back. This thick rubber hood encloses my head completely. Dark tinted lenses cover the eyes severely reducing my ability to see out or anyone’s ability to see in. The thick rubber trough on the front of the hood makes a perfect place for piss or any other liquids to be poured in, and the gag holds the pigs mouth open wide to receive. I hear the distinctive CLICK from behind me as the SIXTH lock is closed.

“MMMPPPHHHHHHPPPHHHHH” – I gurgle into the gag realizing just then what my very last words had been…

“I warned you that you wouldn’t be able to speak soon…. Did I not?” He says with a sneer.

Kneeling down in front of me he opens the suits extra zippers that are holding my cock back and i think for one glimmering moment he’s going to finally pay some attention to my dick, but looking down I see the rubber glove on his hand and I get nervous…. That never ends well…. What’s going on my dick that he doesn’t want on his hands…. He slowly strokes my cock with the handful of cream and i start groaning in pleasure through the gag. Slowly I start to feel less and less of the stroking so I figure he stopped as suddenly as he started…. I look down and he is still stroking my cock but i can’t feel a damn thing.

“MPHPHPHPPPPPPHHMMPP?!?!?!?!” Is the best i can get out

“Ohhh…. You really didn’t think that this was about you or your cock did you? It will be several hours before that numbing cream wears off. Until then you wont feel a damn thing.” He reaches down and works a condom catheter over my hard cock, puts my cock back into my suit leaving only the tube from the catheter exposed

*CLICK* – Padlock seven closes on the suits’ zippers now locking my numb cock inside my suit.

“I don’t want you making a mess while we are out.” He says as he takes the catheter tube and tapes it in place into the trough of the urinal hood.

He pushes me down onto my knees in front of him and pulls his cock out of his sweaty jockstrap and puts his thick meaty cock in front of my face aimed at the trough and let’s loose a strong stream of coffee piss. I struggle to choke it down knowing that he isn’t going to slow down. Clearing his throat he spits into the trough as the last of the piss flushes down the drain.

“Now lets make this day a little more fun. In case you haven’t noticed, you’re stuck and not getting out of any of this on your own. Time to leave a little bit of your fate to chance. I’m going to roll three dice, the number that shows up will be the minimum duration of your sentence in this suit as a public urinal.”

“MMPPPHHHHPPPPPP” I Grunt and try to tell him i can’t go out like this.

He pulls out three dice and shows them to me, standard 6-sided dice. He shakes them in his hand and then rolls them on the floor in front of me and laughs. I look down and see a 4, 5, and 3.

“Wow…. 12 eh? This will be interesting for sure. Looks like you’re not quiet ready yet though.” He says standing me up, and swiftly locking chains to the wrist and ankle restraints. This quickly take the number of padlocks to 11…

He steps behind me and presses hard and rhythmically on the giant plug in my asshole making me groan into the gag.

No… no no no he won’t….

“I’ll bet that’s already feeling pretty rough in there isn’t it pig?” He says so cold that it sends a shiver through me…. I feel and hear the 12th padlock going thru the suit’s rear zipper locking mechanism and feeling him click it closed. “Don’t worry, that’s not going anywhere.”

“MMMPPPPHHHHHHPPPHHHHHH”. I CAN’T HAVE THIS IN ME ALL DAY

“12 locks….” he says as he holds a hand full of keys in front of my face. He picks up the time safe and tosses the handful of keys in and spins the time mechanism to 12:00 hrs and presses the button. “12 hours… I’m going to enjoy this.”

I hear the locking mechanism of the time safe seal the keys inside and I start grunting for dear life into the gag.

Public Service Notice!

GUYS! PLESE REPOST IT! A SCAMMER OPERATING ON TUMBLR!

This person creates posts about selling latex suits and wetsuits under the nicknames SISSYSGODDESS (RubberMaster), Latexman713 (LatexMan), Gasmaskblog (DRYSUITCOMMUNITY). Photos of items are stolen from real sellers. If you transfer money to this scammer, you will not receive the goods and will not be able to return the money back. Be careful and do not buy goods from anonymous sellers!

BITTE REPOSTEN SIE ES! EIN BETRÜGER, DER AUF TUMBLR AKTIVIERT!

Diese Person erstellt Beiträge über den Verkauf von Latexanzügen und Neoprenanzügen unter den Spitznamen SISSYSGODDESS (RubberMaster), Latexman713 (LatexMan), Gasmaskblog (DRYSUITCOMMUNITY). Fotos von Artikeln wurden von echten Verkäufern gestohlen. Wenn Sie diesem Betrüger Geld überweisen, erhalten Sie die Ware nicht und können das Geld nicht zurückerstatten. Seien Sie vorsichtig und kaufen Sie keine Waren von anonymen Verkäufern!

A bell rings.

The ringing bell vibrates the air surrounding it.

The ringing bell vibrates the air surrounding it and into the objects surrounding it.

The ringing bell vibrates the air surrounding it, the objects surrounding it, and the air within other rooms in microscopic waves.

The waves fill the room.

The ringing bell's waves fill the room.

The ringing bell's waves fill the room that I am in.

The ringing bell's waves fill the room that I am in and the objects resonate in twine.

The ringing bell's waves fill the room that I am in and my body resonates in twine.

I am an object.

I am an object that resonates in twine with the bell.

I breathe the air the vibrates.

The air vibrates into me.

My flesh is penetrated and saturated by the vibrations.

The bell's vibrations penetrate and saturate my body.

The bell's vibrations penetrate and saturate my body and my breath.

I am no more than an object to the bell.

I am no more than an object in the room that responds to the bell's ring.

The bell's vibrations fill the room and fill my Self.

I am the air and the objects.

I am connected to the bell.

The bell connects me to all things around me.

I am all things around me.

The bell vibrates, and I resonate in return.

You're finding you can no longer resist.

5,000 likes! Now to get that many followed/followers!

hypno.nimja.com

Spiral Words - Nimja Hypnosis

A spiral shape, highlighting the words hiding behind.

You are just a my rubber drone