I Could Be A Better Boyfriend Than Him. ABBY ANDERSON.

i could be a better boyfriend than him. ABBY ANDERSON.

⁂ SUMMARY: You’re sick and tired of hearing about your best friend, Abby’s, poor sex life with her situationship, Owen. So you decide to do something about it, instead.

⁂ PAIRINGS: abby anderson x reader.

⁂ WORD COUNT: 2.6K

⁂ WARNINGS: mentions of abby x owen, one reference of reader sleeping with a guy but just a one time thing, kind of abby and owen cheating on each other/ kind of not, mentions of reader x nora but not v prominent, abby chokes reader but not like breathplay type of choking just the light stuff, friends to lovers (sort of), lots of kissing, kind of angst, some comfort i guess, jealous!reader, kind of dom!abby, reader is implied to being chubby (stretch marks, plump thighs etc,,), hints towards abby eating reader out but i didn’t write up to that cause i’m tired, possibly a p2 if this gets engagement, could honestly be read as gender neutral just skim over the word clit tbh

a massive thankyou to @prrimordiais for beta reading this for me! show her account some love, she’s an amazing author <3

It’s one of them nights where you’re having a sleep-over with Abby, and the lines are blurring between boredom and fatigue from whatever joint task you’d been assigned for the day. But this is a usual thing, because whenever it gets to around 1am in the morning, the conversation topics quickly run out and you both say whatever thought circulates your brains. Unfortunately for you, most of Abby’s thoughts revolve around Owen. Hurray for you.

“Owen never really made me cum. I sucked his dick, sure. But he never really went down on me.. if that makes sense? Like sometimes I try to hint at it and I swear he knows what I’m getting at but I just think he doesn’t want to get it. You know?” Abby rambled on, letting her thoughts get digested by the black night sky, the few specks of stars decorating it reminded you of Abby and the rare glimpses of her body you’d see, where you’d get to see freckles that lightly littered her shoulders and back, which basically left you standing there for a solid 5 seconds with love hearts for eyes.

But it always dampens your mood when you’re reminded that Owen gets to see that sight almost daily, much to your dismay.

“What? Really?” This wasn’t a shock. You’ll be for real. Abby has ranted about their sex life before and oh god, it did not seem exciting. Like, at all. It bored you whenever she spoke about it, but you grew to sympathise with her when you realised if you were bored just hearing about it, how did she feel whilst actually experiencing it?

But what would a best friend suggest? ‘Oh my god, that’s so bad! Maybe speak with him about it? I’m sure he’ll listen!”

Yeah, that could work for a best friend who wants their best friend to be happy with their boyfriend. But you’re not. You hate the guy. Why? Probably jealousy, probably cause he doesn’t know how to properly treat a woman like Abby but whatever.

But what would a selfish best friend say? Maybe something along the lines of: ‘I could be a better boyfriend than him, I could show you so much pleasure and more just give me one night, please’. Yes. Of course you’d love to tell her that. But you’re not even sure that Abby swings that way and if she feels like that towards you. ( However, she did always seem a little bit too intrigued whenever you spoke about your irregular fling with Nora or your sex life with your prior situationships. )

“Yeah. I mean, I don’t know. He’s never outrightly said ‘I don’t want to eat you out’ but it’s just the way his face shifts whenever I hint towards it, and I feel like i’m killing the mood so I’ve just stopped suggesting it.” She sighs afterwards, snapping you out of your thoughts but begrudgingly continues.

“And it’s not even like he makes me cum during regular sex either! I always go to the bathroom afterwards pretending I have to pee you know, so I don’t get an STI or whatever but I secretly finish myself off instead. He also has this thing where he never lets me take control. And I’m not even into being the one whose submissive! Like sometimes I want to spice it up, be the dominant one but he never lets up. Might as well not have sex at all.” She finishes off with a huff, joint with another frustrated sigh and a roll of her eyes. You can’t help but the feel of happiness spread throughout your body that he doesn’t treat her right. Furthering the thought that only you could make her feel good.

“That’s not good, Abs. Maybe like, speak with him about it? Aren’t you two official now? If not, it’ll probably spark up an argument anyways knowing Owen.” You tried to murmur the last bit under your breath, but due to the confined space of your shared tent it was heard. Lucky you.

“C’mon y/n. He’s not that bad. And no, we’re not official. We’re just fuck-buddies I think. And he totally blew me off last week when I told him I loved him after we had sex. So I’ve been trying to distance myself from him a bit.” She mumbled softly, somehow not having any bite in her voice when it comes to talking about him. It did hurt your heart though, hearing that she’s in love with him but it hurt more after hearing he just ignores the love you’d die to have been directed towards you, instead.

“You’re joking. You can’t tell me he’s not that bad and then tell me he ignored you when you confessed your love to him. That’s so fucked, Abs!” You exclaim whilst sitting up from your laid down position, twisting awkwardly to look back at Abby.

“I don’t know. Maybe he was in a bad mood or someth-“ You cut her off before she can continue. “When are you going to stop making excuses for him, huh? He’s obviously a dick who doesn’t deserve your love or attention so you’re better off leaving him.” You say gently, not wanting it to come off like you’re having a dig at her, rather than him.

But it was always moment like these where you made a strange feeling bloom over Abby’s chest. And made a very familiar throbbing sensation between her thighs arise.

You feel her burning gaze on you when you turn around and lay back down next to her, heaving out a sigh. “I just want you to be happy, Abby. And I know that’s not with him.”

“Whatever. Maybe you’re right. I’ll just leave the whole situation alone now, the dick isn’t that worth it honestly.” She says, and you let out a laugh which quickly turns into a wheezing fit in between you both.

A few minutes after, the tent silenced over. Both minds ticking with other thoughts. Until Abby speaks,

“Is it not like that with your fuck buddies? Like, is it similar with them? I know it won’t be because they’re women and Owen’s a man but I mean, I don’t know. Is it this confusing?” She mumbles gently, straining her neck to look at you.

You narrow your eyes at this question, because here it is again. The interest in your sex life with women. Not that you’re complaining, but it’s just a bit odd. Or is it? You don’t know. Whatever. “What do you mean? The sex? The aftercare? The feelings?”

“Well, I’ve only slept with a guy like, once. I immediately discovered that it wasn’t for me. Not because of the whole penis thing, because you can easily add that into lesbian sex but because of the fact it was just sex. But with women it is just sex too, but there’s something more loving. Underlying. Like you both want to please each other but with a man he only wants to please himself. I don’t know, that’s just my way of thinking on it.” It was your turn rambling now, and Abby took it all in. She ran over every word again and again. Her brain opening up new doors that she’s never even thought of opening before.

“Do you think we could try it?” She whispers and now it was her turn to look at you with love heart for eyes.

“You want to have sex with me?” Now you’re the one straining your neck to look at her. You’re beautiful irises staring directly into hers, trying to figure out if she’s trying to tell a joke or if this a genuine offer. A once in a lifetime offer, to you.

“I mean, we can if you want to. Sex with Owen isn’t the best, you could barely even class it as sex and it’s not like he’s loyal to me either. And plus if I’m experimenting, I’d rather do it with someone who I trust.”

Your brain is going at 100 miles per hour. Is this a joke? A dream maybe? Abby can most likely see the clogs in your brain going round and round, trying to figure out an appropriate answer to whatever the fuck is going on. You feel so many emotions, lust due to the offer in front of you, happiness because she’s explicitly said she trusts you enough to have sex with you, confusion at if you’d just be fuck buddies after this and if it would ruin everything you’ve built within these past couple of months.

“Fuck it. Why not? We’ll still be friends, right?” You feel yourself stiffen up at your own words. You’re not stupid, you know that of course you won’t be just friends after this. Of course it’ll alter things. But all good things come with a price, and you were very very willing to pay.

“Yeah, of course we will.” She says, now sitting up, using her knees to sit.

“Alright then. What do you have in mind?” You mirror her position.

Abby gives you a look of curiosity and interest, letting you know that she's intrigued for trying whatever you have in mind. You remind yourself that this is her first time with a girl, so it’s only fair for you to direct her, at least.

“Why don’t you take charge, Abs? Put them big muscles into use, yeah?” You tease playfully, you’ve been silently waiting for this moment for months now so you know better than to rush. But you also want to make this memorable for her, too.

“Oh, I’m more than happy to take charge.”Abby says whilst smirking, trying to be playful but her eyes shining with desire.

“I’ll show you how strong this big body of mine can be, baby. Don’t you worry.” She chuckles playfully, and then uses her knees to shuffle closer to your body and gives you wink. “You ready?”

“Absolutely.” You say breathlessly, not knowing if this might be adding to one of the endless wet dreams you’ve had about her, or if this is actually real life. You can feel the dampness in your panties grow at the thought of this unfolding like your dreams do. Usually including various situations where Abby bends you over some type of inanimate object and fucking you till your dumb and can’t speak. How cute.

Abby smiles softly, and she nods, then she leans closer to you placing one of her rough, calloused hands onto your cheek and kisses you passionately. Her lips touch yours, gently and curious at first, then passionately, as if she’s desperate to not let of this moment, almost like she’s committing the feel of your lips together to memory. You can feel the lust radiating off her body and into your mouth, where your tongues meet. She presses herself closer to you and deepens the kiss, her tongue exploring your mouth and her heart racing. She holds the kiss for a few more moments before pulling back, heaving and smiling up at you with them damned eyes.

Underneath the lust, there’s the fact you’ve both silently been pining over each other for months, screaming, yearning to be recognised. But it is not. Not yet. Not like this.

“How about that? Did I take charge enough for you?” She raises her eyebrows in amusement, obviously teasing you as she knows you want more than a simple kiss.

“Hmm, maybe a little bit… more charge?” You purse your lips together, placing a faux look of annoyance on your face due to Abby’s teasing.

“Alright, fair enough, baby. All you had to do was properly ask.” She smirks softly, then begins to pick up where you left on your kiss. But this time, adds a rough hand around your throat, gently squeezing. Sending waves of pleasure straight through your body, to your clit.

That little fucker. You had forgot that she’s also your best friend who had been forced to listen to your endless amount of rambles about sex and kinks. And now, is ultimately using it to have sex with you. How ironic.

“How about that? Does that feel a bit more like taking charge over you?” She asks in a teasing way as she speaks, adding a tint of amusement through her tone. You can tell she’s enjoying doing this with you, and she gets lost in your kiss, not caring about anything or anyone else right now. Her focus is on you, and you alone, and how this is making her feel.

Yet again, you’re not amused with her teasing. “You’re not funny, Abs. Like, at all. I was thinking maybe something more… sexual?”

Abby blushes a bit at your boldness, but finds herself quickly recovering and placing a smirk onto her freckle filled face. “Oh? You wanted something a bit more bold now, do you? Alright, I can do that for you, baby.” She chuckles a bit.

“How do you want me to do this? What type of touching do you want?” But this time, she isn’t trying to annoy you. She’s trying to please you, and in order to do that, she needs to know exactly what to do in order to accomplish that.

She gives you another wink, trying to hide her nervousness behind yet again another smirk on her face.

“I think you know exactly what type of touching I want, Abby. Hasn’t Owen taught you nothing?” You taunt, no bite to your tone.

“I guess not, but he isn’t the one here about to fuck you, is he?” She asks with again another small grin, a hint of possessiveness in her voice. She slowly reaches out a hand and traces the tips of her fingers across our cheek for a moment, the sensation sending a shiver down your spine.

That dammed smirk still hasn’t left her face, but she lets out a soft chuckle. She looks into your eyes as she speaks and you see the moment her eyes become glazed with lust. That this isn’t your Abby anymore. This is the Abby you’ve only had the pleasure of meeting in your dreams.

“Maybe I do know what you want me to do, but I want to hear you say it anyways. So, go on. Tell me what you want me to do to you.” And she still hasn’t broke eye-contact with you.

“I want you in between my legs Abby. Wanna feel your tongue.“ You say as you’re becoming more turned on by her actions and words.

Abby blushes and her eyes grow wide in surprise, but she smiles softly. She didn’t expect that level of boldness. However, she enjoys it, so she lets out a chuckle before speaking.

“You sure you can handle it?” She smirks at you, running her fingers through your hair. You can feel her heart racing, and this time, you can feel her breathing speed up from the close proximity between you two.

“I’m sure. I want you so bad, Abs.” Your voice breaks, almost on the verge of begging. “Please abby. Don’t keep me waiting any longer.” You reach out and move a piece of hair stuck on your forehead so it’s out of your face. “Need you so bad.”

She only grins at your words, as she gestures for you to lay onto your back and then starts to move herself down your body. Trailing kisses down your stomach and admiring the occasional stretch marks, making sure to litter them in her love.

And now her head is comfortably snug in between your plush thighs, the only thing separating her from your heat is the thin cotton shorts and panties you’re wearing.

“Well then, I guess we’re gonna have to see about that.”

AUTHORS NOTE: hey guys 🤭 sorry for cutting it off before the good stuff but i’m tired. if this gets engagement then i’ll probably write a P.2 but yeah! so sorry if this is shitty, this is the first time i’ve wrote for WLW and wrote for TLOU. likes/reblogs or follows are so heavily appreciated. love you all <3 if there’s any typos or grammar mistakes do NOT come at me it’s like neatly 4AM in the morning. Goodnight. 😒

Love in a cubicle! pt.1

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AN: Have I ever written on here? No. Am I scared? YES VERY 😭😭. idk what to say other than enjoy I guess.

TW: Horribly written, contains thou of homos 😭

Kunikida x Dazai fluff

Kunikida sat at his desk, meticulously organizing files and trying to focus on his work. However, his thoughts kept drifting to Dazai, his enigmatic coworker. The way Dazai's laughter echoed in the office, the subtle glances they shared during meetings – it all left Kunikida feeling a warmth he couldn't ignore.

As deadlines loomed, Kunikida found himself partnering with Dazai on various projects. Late nights at the office turned into moments of shared silence, broken only by the clicking of keyboards and the occasional exchange of ideas. Kunikida admired Dazai's creativity and unique perspective on problem-solving, yet he struggled to articulate the growing feelings within him.

One day, after a particularly challenging assignment, Dazai suggested grabbing dinner together. Kunikida hesitated but agreed, his heart pounding with anticipation.

The evening unfolded in a mix of laughter, shared stories, and a comfortable companionship that Kunikida had never experienced before.As weeks passed, Kunikida grappled with his emotions. He found solace in writing in his notebook, attempting to make sense of the conflicting thoughts and the undeniable attraction he felt towards Dazai.

He questioned societal norms and his own preconceived notions, realizing that love wasn't bound by traditional expectations.Summoning courage, Kunikida decided to share his feelings with Dazai.

They met at a quiet park, surrounded by the soft glow of city lights. Kunikida stumbled through his confession, revealing the depth of his emotions. To his surprise, Dazai listened with a gentle smile, his eyes reflecting understanding.In that moment, the weight lifted from Kunikida's shoulders.

Dazai confessed that he, too, had been wrestling with similar emotions. They decided to explore this new chapter together, navigating the complexities of their burgeoning relationship while continuing to support each other at work.

Their colleagues soon noticed the change in dynamics but embraced it, realizing that love knows no boundaries. Kunikida and Dazai's journey became an inspiration for acceptance and authenticity, proving that sometimes, the heart chooses paths that defy conventional expectations.

𝗔𝗯𝗯𝘆 𝗔𝗻𝗱𝗲𝗿𝘀𝗼𝗻 𝘅 𝗙𝗲𝗺!𝗰𝗵𝘂𝗯𝗯𝘆!𝗿𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗲𝗿 𝗵𝗲𝗮𝗱𝗰𝗮𝗻𝗼𝗻𝘀

𝗖𝗼𝗻𝘁𝗲𝗻𝘁 𝘄𝗮𝗿𝗻𝗶𝗻𝗴:light sexual content, talks of oral and sexual acts but nothing in detail. lots of tooth rotting fluff (MDNI. minors will be blocked.)

+the first time she saw you, she was HEAD over HEELS.

+she had seen you walking by through the gym window, in your little white sundress with lilac flowers patterning it and puffy sleeves.

+she immediately new she needed your number. she had stopped mid set and ran out of the gym, just to get it.

+it shocked you at first, who wouldnt be shocked to see a 6 foot, extremely good looking blonde 19 year old running up to them from seemingly nowhere?

+she was running so fast she almost bumped into you, her face beet red and skin glistening with sweat from her workout.

+the whole encounter was very awkward. but she walked out with a cute girls number, and a date scored for next tuesday. she thinks it was worth it.

+absolutely OBSESSED with your tummy. she loves laying between your legs as you read, just resting her head on your soft stomach. she's definitely the type to trace over any stretch marks or scars with her fingers in admiration.

+also loves your thighs, if you get what im hinting at.

+when shes driving in her fancy sport car, you in the passanger seat obvi, she will rest her hand on your thigh, kneading the plush skin with the occasional pinch just to hear you whimper and whine her name.

+spends most of her time between them though, for sure. licking and nibbling your soft rosy bud, while three of her fingers plunge in and out of you, hitting the right spot each time.

+miss girl has your legs SHAKING everytime she eats you out. and she definitely leaves plenty of marks too. she needs everyone to know you are hers when you wear your short little dresses.

+a sucker for you on your knees too. she loves sitting on the couch in your shared apartment, watching tv with you between her legs, head resting on her inner thigh. she loves those sweet little doe eyes you give her when you want attention, or when you whine from the frustration of not getting enough friction from the boot shes currently wearing and rubbing against you, in just the righ spot.

+she would always be there to kiss away any insecurities you have.

+people giving you funny looks in public with her? she will immediately call them out and make them turn their heads away in shame.

+feeling insecure about your tummy or thighs? stretch marks or arms? she will immediately reassure you and leave sweet kisses on your face, kissing all your salty tears away.

+holds you close to her chest, letting you sob it out on rough days, her hands caressing your love handles, or rubbing circles on your back under your shirt. anything to make her sweetheart feel better.

+definitely orders you two food after you have calmed down, she knows that movie nights with chinese takeout and snacks always makes you feel better <3

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h3artsfornini

1 year ago

lemme say something smart rq: all the headcanons about hobie being dirty and unkept and having a filthy house and all that shit stems from a place of racism. i just saw an idiot on twitter say that pavitr uses a bunch of products while hobie uses... 13-in-1 shampoo....... first off, pav explicitly states that his haircare is "coconut oil and genetics".. and second off, Black hair does not look like hobie's without immense work and upkeep. his wicks do not look dirty. he don't even look dirty. you see a Black punk with locs and suddenly he smells like cigarettes and doesn't shower. y'all make me fucking sick.

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h3artsfornini

1 year ago

✧ ﾟ— mirah, black, 9teen, her/she! chubby sanrio enthusiasts, acrylic nail lover, pretty pink princess, ice muncher, anime connoisseur. // works

daddy’s pretty girl.

my “y/n’s” are black, fem, and chubby! please do not get into my ask box asking for anything that’s not that!

all works are reserved to @cybercandy1! none of my works should be posted on any other platform.

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h3artsfornini

2 years ago

Never thought I'd me reading For Ony but gah damn I want- no need more of him 🤭🤭

basketball player!ony who takes his career very seriously. he was the star in high school when you met him and he is the star now at his big name d1 college.

basketball player!ony who’s been scouted by many nba teams, but refuses to go into the draft until he gets his degree. you and him have been together since freshman year of high school and he doesn’t plan on changing that no matter how much recognition he gets.

basketball player!ony who is about 6’5, playing as his schools starting point guard. he averages about twenty-six points a game and wears the number 3. sometimes basketball player!ony can get very hard on himself when he doesn’t perform the way he wants to and he always needs you there to help. whether it be getting his rebounds or watching his previous film, basketball player!ony always looked to you first.

basketball player!ony who begged you to go to the same college as him, not thinking he would survive being away from you and you didn’t mind because you felt the exact same way.

basketball player!ony who has to shoot down different girls everyday. constantly throwing away love letters and gifts from the many girls on campus. sometimes splitting the candy he’d get with you.

basketball player!ony who is rarely seen without you unless he is at practice or a game and during those games he always made sure you are seated in the nearest seat to the bench. throwing you a quick wink with a smirk when he’d make a tough shot.

basketball player!ony who’d always bring you up in his interviews after games.

“onyankopon what a great game tonight. you did spectacular ending with thirty-seven points, twelve assists and eleven rebounds. how does it feel to be such a big asset to the team at such a young age?”

“uhhm i just come out here and perform like i normally do. i love this game and it’d be disrespectful of me to not play at my full potential as often as i can. i also wanna give a shout-out to my beautiful girlfriend y/n. there have been nights where it’s just me and her watching film, breaking each game down to make me better. i wouldn’t have made it this far without you mama. i love you”

he’d say, looking straight into the camera as if you were watching him through it. (the interview went viral btw)

basketball player!ony who has you wear his chains for each game since he can’t wear jewelry while playing, not letting you take them off until the two of you got to his dorm room.

“fuck keep ridin’ it just like that baby.” he groaned as you bounced up and down on your boyfriends dick, pretty gold chains dangling from your neck as you slowed your pace. he had just finished a game and needed to get you home immediately after seeing a random from the crowd try to flirt with you, snatching your attention away from him while he was killing his opponents. one of his favorite things about you was that you loved basketball just as much as he did, watching every game without batting an eye.

you gave your boyfriend your full attention and even gave him criticism to show for how much you were paying attention. the fact that some random nigga can snatch that attention from him boiled his blood. his legs were tired and already getting sore from the game as he lay comfortably under you. “daddy m’tireddd” you have been going at it for almost an hour, but basketball player!ony knew you were a good girl and wouldn’t stop until he said to. “ion care. keep that same pace until i nut in you”

basketball player!ony who also let you pick his jersey number.

it was the night after graduation when he had your legs pressed up to your chest on the bed. basketball player!ony fed you deep strokes as he talked to you about your future with him. “how many babies you want daddy t’give you?” he groaned in your ear while pushing himself deeper. you moaned out loud as you felt him kiss your cervix, eyes rolling back as you were slowly going in and out of awareness. “c’mon mama i need an answer it’s important”

you had no idea why he was so eager for an answer but you knew he wasn’t going to let you cum until you told him. he let go of your legs and held both of your hands in his. staring you in the eyes as he slowed his speed and deepened his strokes. you were falling more in love with this man everyday. “i know you like that, but i need you to give me an answer or daddy gon have to stop.” your back arched off the bed as your boyfriend hit a particularly sensitive spot in you. he knew you were close, but he really needed you to answer his question. he stopped completely, staying inside of you as he waited for a reply. you mewled, upset at the lack of friction. “i know mama i know. just tell me how many and i’ll fuck you ‘til you wet this bed up.”

“t-three.” you whispered. it was barely audible, but he heard you, asking again for clarification. “speak up baby” “t-threeee ohh myyy goddd daddy waitttt” you freed one of your hands before pawing at his stomach. he pounded into you at a quick pace, drawing your orgasm out quickly as you spasmed around his dick. “and ima take care of you and them when i go pro i swear. they not gon have to worry about a damn thing and ima wear that number on my back to remind the both of us who we doin this shit for” the two of you came together, holding each other as fatigue got the best of you and ushered the both of you to sleep. your boyfriend never forgot what he swore to do and kept up with it through college.

basketball player!ony never started a game without first kissing his three fingers and pressing them on his jersey. letting you know he always remembered his promise to you.

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h3artsfornini

1 year ago

i love this song https://open.spotify.com/track/5kfNriitmkNE8mUbZ7gbq8?si=ABipdw_BQqygrGqFEGPcEA and musician eren so why not combine them 🤭

everybody known eren is a rapper but my man got vocals too!! so imagine him writing this song about like an early y/n like in the early stages of their relationship. basically eren releases the song (it’s on an album or something) and everybody thinks it’s some club anthem because of the title- in my head eren has his music loved down ; ain’t nobody hearing until it’s ready!! it’s really this emotional piece about y/n.

this was probably the longest thing i put in cherry’s ask box but i just wanted to say my piece yall 😭

baeee!! This was beautiful. I swear you feed my delusions so well. 🥹 and this songgg?? I love it. I imagine this is how it came to be too..

tw: angst, mentions of childhood trauma, more reverb spoilers, weed and alcohol use

living a busy lifestyle on the road, going from city to city..state to state trying to make a name for yourself wasn’t easy. Your journey to stardom was one consistent of hard work, faith and sadly, a lot of tears. It wasn’t often that you had the chance to sit down and reflect on your past. But tonight, you found yourself in the one place that felt like a safe haven..around the one person you found solace in to freely confide in about your problems..

“It was the night of my first performance with the girls and I wanted to go run to the phone…tell my granny that I finally did it. But I couldn’t…I felt so fucking stupid. I think I spent an hour crying on the floor of that damn dressing room. Didn’t want anybody bothering me..”

(Y/N)‘s feet swayed freely in the crystalline pool waters, kicking alongside another set of legs underneath the pale moonlight. Stars glistening in the dark sky like a blanket; hovering above your head. But the hand holding your own was what gave you the strength to finish telling such a heartbreaking story. Your longtime friend and new partner, EJ The Don..at least as the world knew him. But to you? He was just Eren and that was all he ever wanted. Was for someone to see him for who he truly was. And the feeling was reciprocated. So the two of you were sitting outside, as you had done many nights before and just reflected on your past lives. All the things and experiences that led you to where you were today.. blunts illuminated around you and unfinished bottle of wine. Honestly, it was the easiest way to cope with sharing your feelings. Something that didn’t come easy. But with him listening along, you felt more at ease and comfortable..so the words flowed as did the tears you had been holding in.

“..my mama didn’t even congratulate me. Hadn’t seen that lady in years. Hell, I didn’t even know who she was until two years ago but the first thing from her mouth when I went back to my old hood was ‘think you can loan me some money?’ What kind of shit is that?”

he had never seen you so open and you had never been this vulnerable with anyone in your life. It was a new experience for the both of you. In a way, you felt ashamed..that maybe he’d view you in a different light after airing out your dirty laundry. Even though he left home of his own volition, he still grew up in a stable environment. You guys were from opposite sides of the tracks but even so he didn’t judge! And when you tried to apologize for your past, he’d clutch your hand tighter; placing a kiss to your temple before rubbing his thumb across your cheek.

“What are you sorry for? Something out of your control? I love you for who you are now and I’m grateful that you shared all of this with me. Stop apologizing for shit you couldn’t help.”

it was such a refreshing change from all the men you’ve encountered in the past. He didn’t show it that night but every word you said to Eren stuck with him. From the pain of losing the one guardian you’d had in your entire life to the toxic relationship with your estranged parents and even your stint of having to do things you weren’t proud of just to avoid sleeping on the streets. It wasn’t sunshine and rainbows for you, hence why you smiled so much now. Gracious for the life you had built. Even so, his heart ached for you..he wanted to cry knowing that such a beautiful woman with an even more beautiful heart had to endure such hardship. It pained him to not be able to find the right words to express how truly sorry and empathetic he was of your situation. How could he? Here he was some kid from Jersey who grew up well off while you were on the other side of the tracks suffering. He felt he had no right to speak on you or the things you’d overcome. But he couldn’t help himself….long after you had gone home; sitting up in his studio with his pen and pad, trying to come up with a new track. Like he had done so many times before when the woes of insomnia had kept him awake. He’d scribble a few things here and there..nothing sticking. That was until he thought about you…so helplessly crying in front of him. In that moment, he felt so weak; unable to tell you what you needed to hear. But he hoped to atone with his next gesture. Reaching over into the corner, he’d retrieve his guitar. An instrument only used in a few tracks of his but one he enjoyed playing the most. Strumming along, he’d hum a melody..closing his eyes to get a feel for what he was playing. That’s when it’d all start to click.

‘They don’t care like I do..’

from there, every lyric, harmony and melody flowed freely like the tears from his eyes when he pictured his precious girl, his princess in such a horrible situation. Scared, alone and afraid..he wrote it with everything he had in him. Pouring his heart out into that paper and microphone as he played the tune on his Fender. Singing to his hearts content as he had not done in a long time. He recorded it that same night and although, he knew it’d become lost in the shuffle of the other more upbeat tracks on his album, EJ gladly placed it in the middle of the playlist. Hoping that if it reached no one else in this world, that it’d find its way to the one person who inspired it. It was while you were out with your girls, tossing back drinks and laughing at a downtown lounge when it first debuted on radio. Months after the album had come out and he was long on tour across the country. Everyone instantly loved it, even making remarks of how they didn’t know your ‘man’ could sing like that. But as you hummed along to the beat, you couldn’t help but become emotional as you took in the intense lyrics. Realizing that they hit a little too close to home. It took everything in you not to break down right there. But it only further proved how blessed you were to have him in your life.

I hope you’re listening, (y/n). Wherever you are…I hope you can hear me. Hear how much I love you..

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h3artsfornini

1 year ago