The Bois

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(jjk266) confession

— work hard! . chishiya x reader

synopsis . he was content with the neutral comfort and safe distance your relationship had (with the rare affectionate moments), but seeing you now in a position where he is responsible for your survival makes him wish he had done a little better.

warnings . heavy angst, rdr is has a severe illness, descriptions of overstimulation, chishiya getting Emotional™️, chishiya + rdr trying to lie to themselves, not proofread

notes . part 2 [bad ending] [good ending (coming soon)]

the need to puke was a sensation chishiya never thought he would come to face with. unfortunately, as he stood in the desolate and insanely blank hallway, it came towards him with full force. bone crushingly so.

the job of a surgeon is, undeniably, a difficult one. lives are at stake. countless bodies are either sacrificed or saved. all because of a pair of hands and a small metal knife.

he took on this career well-aware of that fact — his consideration for the constant teeter over the line between life and death was close to none, disturbingly so. his lack of care made him both the worst and perfect candidate for the role.

so why was it now that his own job was making him disgustingly anxious?

overstimulation slowly took over the blond as he stood in the center of the hall. the atrocious scent of bleach was far too heavy, the squeak of shoes against a floor cleaned way too often bit at his eardrums, the hands of time clicking above him mocked his current stasis. his calloused fingertips picked at his own skin, as if getting ready to pull the flesh apart at the seams. chishiya couldn’t stand this, this vulnerability he was facing against at the moment.

“sir?”

he wanted to scream, for once. to curl into a ball just like a child would, and explode into a world-consuming black hole at the same time.

“i’m on my way. give me a moment.”

the shift in his voice made him grimace. he absolutely loathed the weakness he was going through. despised it with all his heart. what he hated more was the room awaiting him.

with heavy footsteps, chishiya made his way to his next potential murder scene. the chances of death or survival were within his grasp, his hands responsible for the strings. if this were any other patient, he would’ve paid no mind. it was just work. he would get paid regardless.

it was just work.

but now that he stood in the doorway, facing you, he wanted to quit.

all of his life ambitions came crumbling down before him at the sight of you in a bed many others occupied before. he hated it. you were just any other patient. this was just work.

you smiled and waved at him, feigning ignorance to the thin gown you wore and the thin mattress you sat on and the thin air that engulfed the room. “long time no see,” you spoke so softly, as if your voice would snap apart with another syllable.

that’s right. he saw you just this morning. you were kissing him on the cheek, giving him his hand-crafted bento box for the day, sending him off to work with that childish grin on your face. work hard! were always your final words before he’d shut the door and head down to the hospital. “because ‘have a good day’ is too optimistic for someone like you,” you’d joke.

the nurse beside him coughed before reading off the information to him. the monotony of their voice irked him, for reasons he could not explain to them without sounding crazy. “. . .the nearby tissues, as well as the innermost layer of the membrane. we’ve identified them as a stage 3A lung cancer patient. survival rate is already decreasing, so. . . they’ve requested to have the surgery done.”

within the depths of his coat pocket, chishiya gripped his pen with a force that could potentially cause it to explode. which could potentially stain his coat beyond saving. which you would potentially scold him for. that is, if you potentially got out of that hospital bed.

he wished he wasn’t the type to play around with fate.

“understood,” he spoke curtly, sending the nurse off. the room fell silent.

chishiya dragged a metal stool next to the bed, for he immediately understood that the conversation you were about to share was not one where he should stand. “what are your symptoms?”

“chishiya.”

“you need to cooperate with me if you want this process to go thoroughly.”

“chishiya,” you held a stern voice, albeit hoarse in some spots. the ache throbbing in your head would get to you if you raised your voice anymore.

“look, i have many other patients who need just as much saving as you. so, if you just-“

“chishiya!” you raised your voice anyways.

his gaze noticeably faltered. “what?” he muttered under his breath, suddenly not so confident in his plans to confront the situation as if it were just work. “you want the surgery, don’t you? so what’s the hold up?”

you sucked in a breath and coughed consequently after, reaching for your boyfriend’s hands. his palms were nearly cherry red from how hard he was squeezing them. “can we talk? like, as us? not doctor to patient?” regardless of his silence, you continued. “i- i don’t know how this happened, honestly. i’ve never lit a cigarette or anything of the sort in my life, so it’s probably a hereditary thing or whatever,” you paused to cough again. “i’m sorry. i’m sorry i didn’t think to tell you when i started feeling the symptoms. i didn’t really think it was that bad, i thought- i mean, everyone has trouble breathing sometimes, right?” silence, again. “chishiya, please forgive me. i’ll do anything. i’ll buy you that strawberry cake you keep talking about, the one that’s a block away from our apartment. we can have a day at home, just the two of us, with no work to worry about, and i’ll cook everything you want. i’ll book a fucking flight overseas, if that’ll make you feel relaxed.” your hands trembled against his, in sync with the wobble in your words as you spoke. you told yourself you wouldn’t get too emotional over it — after all, chishiya wasn’t too fond of overdramatic people. but really, what were you supposed to do? what were you supposed to say? or think? stage three? the number was practically poking fun at you, for not noticing the signs sooner. “chishiya. work hard, okay?” you smiled at him, with the same sincerity and warmth and youth you always did.

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its not what it looks like — SHE KNOWS

SHE KNOWS — masterlist — next

A/N : IM SO MADLY IN LOVE WITH CHOI YEONJUN GUYS :(

tags — closed ❤️‍🩹

@eshtravagent @lunsyeah @aftrnoot @trinmadol l @asoullessentity @akowbt @noxceleste @eissaaaa @dr3amscap3 @captivq @arizzu @happyjuhyun @parkersmyth @bwnniidump @r3iverse @le000xxgrd @crinklypink @cherriwn @mxbrahms @parcqq @ikon-teen @jade-flower-edits @scaramilk @yanfei-kisser @seiksyyki @nostalgisters @kokoscutie @elakari @milkkteary @coffeeangel13 @yvrikoo @kozuluvbot @rainbowsaz @naegisimp @kerenz @brdpch @minyoungieee @xashiui @ehddsnys @saltysoftgrungeofscience @hadesdaughtwr @rainqissedd @saiewithakatana @vernon-dursley @kittyrai @shinobuily @kalstar @huachengsbestie01 @xxoperatexx @luvvsnae @celery-o @hy0ukka @odin-hatesu @luv4kuina

Im going to fucking cry

please let this happen jjk237

this!!!!

Oh? Please, Madam

What Izuku rejects is the opportunity to be Katsuki's SIDEKICK. He doesn't reject being a hero or competing with Katsuki. He rejects working FOR/UNDER Katsuki. Which is hilarious because Katsuki accepts (apparently multiple times) showing up as a guest lecturer to help out Izuku's class. Katsuki tells Izuku that "If everyone is special, no one is special," which has the potential for SO MUCH DOUBLE MEANING. But what there is no ambiguity about to me is he's basically telling Izuku "Hey, notice this. I'm treating you special. You're special to me. NOTICE."

It's also implied that Izuku sees Katsuki more regularly than he sees most others from their class, which is emphasized by the previous chapter when Aizawa complains to him about Katsuki's behavior in public affecting his ranking. Katsuki basically tells Izuku he needs to start thinking about himself more, and he also ends their final interaction with a "See ya [later]." Katsuki is NOT talking about Ochako, but Izuku takes some of his advice as the impetus for going to talk to Ochako (specifically they just wanna talk more after the dinner since the dinner is now over and they didn't get to talk). So what was Katsuki thinking of? I personally read his "See ya later" as "You'll figure it out, just go handle what you gotta right now and you can catch up to me later."

Hilariously, Izuku calls Katsuki out for being the one to say "If you don't start thinking a little more highly of yourself, you won't notice the things you should." Izuku's response is basically, "Look who's talking." Again, the potential for double meaning here is painfully obvious. He could be referring to SO MANY THINGS and we're meant to infer what that is. WE GET TO GUESS. Izuku could be saying "You did stuff just as bad as what you're saying," or "You're STILL not noticing something, Kacchan."

And Izuku taking inspiration from Katsuki's words to go talk to Ochako is meaningful in another way--IT MEANS IZUKU LISTENED TO HIM. Katsuki is having an influence on Izuku in a way to improve who he is just like Izuku did for him in high school. Izuku takes Katsuki's advice seriously. NO ONE HAS EVER GOTTEN HIM TO UNDERSTAND THIS LESSON BEFORE NOW. It ends with Izuku and Ochako deciding to talk more, but what it shows us is the beginning of Izuku considering himself more. If Izuku follows Katsuki's advice long enough, he'll end up back in the competition with Katsuki just like Katsuki expects him to. That is just as easy of a conclusion to make from the theme of "inevitability" that Shouto gives us (and that Izuku also takes to heart).

This ending implies that inevitably Izuku's gonna catch up again, basically. Things will continue to change. So yeah, we get a beginning where he and Ochako meet up to talk, but it's just a beginning. It's one night of chatting. They're seeing if something's there now (which kind of implies that there wasn't much there before), but it's left open-ended. And I think it's left open-ended what happens with Ochako on purpose because anyone can read how that ends up however they like. You just have to decide as a reader what's "inevitable" for Izuku Midoriya from this point on. Me? I've decided Izuku is taking Katsuki's advice to treat people who mean more to him better. Ochako is just the beginning. Izuku has other people in his life he needs to show love to as well (because that's what this is, Izuku is learning to show people that they're important to him, that he loves them, because saving people doesn't do that--he saves EVERYONE). And then maybe he'll start to see how the people who love him treat him special too, like guest SPECIAL (same kanji) LECTURER KATSUKI BAKUGOU.

tl;dr there is a lot left open to interpretation and it's probably on purpose, read the chapter however you like, just like we did with the last chapter.

...and my interpretation which is the correct one is that Katsuki tells Izuku, "Here let me show you how to love people, damnit!" to give him the character development everyone has been begging for him to have for years, to realize that saving people doesn't mean they're special to him if he's known for saving everyone ever, so like, maybe go show them you care in OTHER ways, Izuku, and also I'll be waiting right here for you to come show you love me you jackass (and he does, he does come show him that)