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confessions

summary: Bucky can’t find the courage to share his feelings for you, so he gets a little help from an old friend.

pairing: college!Bucky x reader

warnings: alcohol consumption, some profanity

word count: 4k

a/n: this is my submission for @pellucid-constellations love letter writing challenge! this is also my first ever Bucky fic so I hope people like it! I have a few more fics in the works that I will (hopefully) be posting soon. any and all feedback is greatly appreciated :)

“Buck…are you listening?” Steve nudged him.

“What’s that?” he snapped back to his friends.

“Could you be more obvious?” Sam added.

“What?”

“The minute Y/N walks into a room you completely lose focus.”

“That’s not true,” he defended.

“And…she’s heading this way.”

“What?” Bucky panicked, running fingers through his hair. Sam and Steve chuckled as Y/N and Natasha joined them at the table.

“Hello boys,” Y/N said. Natasha planted a fresh pitcher of beer in the middle of the table along with a stack of plastic cups.

“You are the best girlfriend a guy could ask for,” Steve said, planting a quick kiss on her cheek.

“I knew there was a reason you kept me around,” she winked at him.

“So what are you guys doing tomorrow night?” Y/N asked.

The boys looked at each other and shrugged, “Probably just hanging out here.”

“Not anymore. Nat and I are hosting a little end of semester party at our place and I expect you all to be there.”

“Sounds like a plan,” Steve said.

“Perfect, party starts at 9! Don't be late. Oh there’s Thor. I’m gonna go invite him,” she said, departing from the table with her beer in hand.

Sam, Steve, and Natasha all looked at Bucky.

“What?” he feigned innocence.

“That was real smooth,” Sam said.

Bucky looked at them all confused until Steve added, “You’re completely in love with this girl and you don’t say one word to her?”

“I’m not in love with her!” he denied, though they all knew he was full of it.

“Buck…” Natasha sighed, “I’m doing the best I can to help you out here but you’re not helping yourself.”

“I don’t know what I’m supposed to say to her.”

“She’s a person. Just talk to her like you would anyone else.”

“But she’s not anyone else. She’s…perfect.”

“Oh here we go again,” Sam rolled his eyes.

“Buck, we’re about to graduate. You’re gonna miss your shot,” Steve added.

“I’ve seen you pick up women before, you know what you're doing,” Sam commented.

He put his head in his hands, “I know, but Y/N’s just different. I’ve never had it this bad before.”

“You need to shoot your shot or else you’re going to regret it,” Sam said. Bucky nodded his head, knowing he was right.

“Talk to her tomorrow night. Have a few drinks to loosen you up and just go for it,” Natasha advised.

“What am I supposed to say?”

“Just tell her how you feel,” Nat said.

“Think it over tonight before you go to bed,” Steve suggested.

Bucky hastily agreed and while the conversation shifted, he felt like he needed to sort out his thoughts. He finished what was left of his beer in one sip, “I’m gonna head back, I’ll see you guys at home.”

It was a short walk from the campus dive bar to Bucky’s apartment and his head was spinning. He kept trying to rehearse what he wanted to say, but he couldn’t keep his thoughts straight. He walked into the apartment and dropped his keys on the counter top, immediately heading to the fridge for another beer. He thought the alcohol might help him relax and sort through his feelings. Yet the words felt all jumbled up in his head. Then an idea hit him. When Bucky was a kid and he argued with his sister, his Ma always made both of them write a letter to each other to get their feelings out and sort through why they were so upset. That always gave him clarity on the situations, so what better way to organize his thoughts now. He grabbed a notebook and sat on the couch with his beer, determined to get his thoughts out.

Dear Y/N,

Since the first day I met you, I knew you were special. I’ve never had trouble talking to girls before, but with you I’m so worried about saying the wrong thing, so I tend to keep quiet. I have never been able to get you out of my head no matter how hard I try and I’m worried that I’ve missed my chance with you. Y/N, you are truly the most beautiful girl I have ever seen, but more than that, you are exactly the kind of girl I’ve been looking for. I love that you get just as worked up as Sam when we’re watching a sports game. And I love that you treat every single person you meet with kindness, even if they don’t deserve it. I love the witty remarks you make seemingly without thinking. I love that you can answer almost every question on Jeopardy before the contestants even buzz in. I love that you are always doing things for others before taking care of yourself. Everything you do is perfect in my eyes. You are the type of girl I want to take home to introduce to my parents, and they would adore you. I guess what I’m trying to say is…I’ve always had a huge crush on you and I’d be the luckiest guy in the world if you’d agree to a date with me.

Forever yours,

Bucky

He read the letter over and over again, trying to find ways to improve his words or add to it, but he ultimately grew tired. He ripped the page out of his notebook and folded it in half, writing Y/N’s name on the folded page. He finished his beer and retired to his room as he tried not to worry about tomorrow night’s party.

X

“Bucky!” Sam called, knocking on his door, “You almost ready?”

Bucky opened the door for his roommate. “Yeah I think so.” He looked himself over once more in the mirror, ran his fingers through his hair, and nodded.

“You look great. You know what you’re gonna say to her?”

“I wrote some of it out last night.”

“Let me see.”

“No way, it’s personal.”

“Come on man, I’m just trying to help you.”

“Dude, it’s fine.”

“Is this it?” Sam said, picking up the notebook paper with Y/N’s name on it. Bucky gave him a warning glare and Sam darted out of the room, reading the letter before Bucky caught up with him.

“Sam!” Bucky yelled, chasing after him. He lunged at Sam, but Sam was quicker and held him off. Bucky realized it was too late and he slumped into the couch with discontent.

“This is really nice and I can tell it’s genuine, but you can’t say this stuff to her. It’s gonna scare her away. You have to build the foundation first.”

“So what am I supposed to do?” Bucky asked, growing frustrated with his friend.

“Just talk to her, find something that you can connect with her on. And then if things go well, ask her out.”

“I’m overthinking this so much.”

“You just gotta be yourself and if she doesn’t like you then she’s crazy.”

“You guys ready to go?” Steve suddenly emerged into the living room. Sam and Bucky nodded, grabbed their keys from the kitchen counter, and left for the party.

X

Bucky took a deep breath as he stepped inside the party. There were a lot of familiar faces which put him at ease and Nat greeted them with a round of tequila shots which helped cut his nerves. He had to stop overthinking. He kept replaying Sam’s word in his head, just be yourself.

Bucky walked into the kitchen in search of a drink when he saw Y/N pulling a tray of jello shots out of the fridge.

“Hey Bucky!” she smiled at him. “Jello shot?” she offered him.

“Only if you take one with me,” he replied.

“You don’t have to twist my arm.” She handed him a plastic ramekin filled with blue jello and she took one for herself. “Here’s to…a great night,” she said, holding up her shot to tap Bucky’s.

“Cheers,” he responded and they both swallowed the tainted gelatin.

“They taste okay? Too strong?” she asked.

He shook his head, “Perfect jello to vodka ratio.”

She smiled, “Good, I’m gonna go pass the rest of these around. Oh, there’s a keg with cups out in the hall or if you want, you can help yourself to my secret stash of Miller High Life in the fridge,” she winked.

“Thanks Y/N.” She walked out of the kitchen to the party and Bucky helped himself to a beer from the fridge. He stayed in the kitchen for a moment to catch his breath. He considered that to be a successful interaction and it gave him the confidence he needed to continue.

He was pulled from his thoughts when he heard someone calling his name. He joined the party in the living room and found a folding table sprinkled with red solo cups.

“Come play beer pong,” Steve waved him over, as Natasha set up the game. Bucky was never one to turn down a challenge and moved to the opposite side of the table.

“I need a partner,” Bucky scanned the room looking for Sam.

“Oh I’ll play!” a familiar voice said. Bucky froze and noticed the knowing smirk on Natasha's face. Y/N slid in next to him and elbowed his arm, “You think we can take ‘em?” she said.

“Absolutely. I hear you’re a stud at beer pong.”

She smiled and shrugged, “I won’t deny that.”

Y/N and Natasha each took a ball for the face off that would determine who would shoot first. Y/N sank a cup easily, while Nat’s shot hit the rim of a cup and bounced into Bucky’s hands.

“You wanna shoot first?” he asked her.

“No, you go,” she offered. Bucky lined himself up at the table and took his first shot, sinking the front cup.

“Oh, we’ve got this,” Y/N smiled. She stood at the center of the table and tossed the ball with a casual ease. Her shot sailed through the air and easily landed in one of the back corner cups. Steve and Natasha groaned in tandem as they pulled the corner cup away and rolled the ping pong balls back to the other side of the table.

They beat Steve and Nat with ease and welcomed their next challengers, Thor and Loki. The two continued making shots at a rapid pace and they found themselves running the table as a line of people formed to play them next. As the victories poured in, they became more comfortable with each other. The celebrations started with high fives which quickly turned into double high fives, and then suddenly, Y/N was lightly massaging Bucky’s shoulders as he focused on the cups for his upcoming shot. The contact intensified as they secured a come from behind win by sinking the last two cups back to back. Y/N made the last shot and immediately jumped into Bucky’s arms and he picked her up and spun her around. It happened so naturally and Bucky couldn’t help but notice his nerves had evaporated away and his overactive mind had shut off.

Eventually Nat came in and put an end to beer pong, clearing the table for flip cup instead. Bucky left the room to use the bathroom and when he returned, Y/N was nowhere to be found. He assumed she’d join in on flip cup but he didn't see her in the crowd. He caught Natasha’s eye and like a mindreader she signaled to the back porch and gave him a sly smile. He grabbed two beers from the fridge and headed outside.

Y/N was out on the back deck, studying the night sky. When the door opened, she turned around and eased up when she noticed it was Bucky.

“Hey,” was all he said. He stood next to her and placed a can of beer in front of her.

“Thanks,” she said, cracking the beer and taking a sip.

“Not a fan of flip cup?” he asked, trying to make conversation.

“I just needed a break from winning,” she joked.

He chuckled and said, “We make a pretty good team, huh?”

“We do,” she smiled at him before returning her attention to the sky.

“But seriously, are you okay?” he asked.

“Yeah, I’m good. I was just feeling a little claustrophobic in there. Needed some fresh air.”

“I get that. I can leave if you want some alone time. I’ll guard the door and make sure no one else bothers you.”

“No you should stay. It’s nice to have some company.”

They sat in silence for a while, staring up at the sky. Bucky drank his beer to find the courage to speak up.

“The stars are really bright tonight. You can see a bunch of the constellations.”

“You know constellations?” she asked. He nodded and she asked, “Will you show me?”

He moved a little closer to her and pointed up to the sky, “See that really bright star right there? That’s the North Star. And that’s the end of the Little Dipper’s tail.”

“Okay I see that.”

“And then from the North Star, if you move to the right…that first star forms the bottom of the big dipper.”

“Oh wow.”

“Now look a little bit lower and you’ll see three stars real close together in a row.”

She was quiet and her brow furrowed as she scanned the sky. “I’m not…” she trailed off, “I’m not seeing it.”

Bucky took a step closer to her and he hovered his head right above her shoulder to better see from her vantage point. He pointed to the three stars in question and connected them with his finger.

“See right here?” he spoke into her ear.

“Oh…yeah I see it.”

“That’s Orion’s belt. And if you move up there…those are the shoulders. And down here are the legs.” He traced the outline of the constellation as he spoke.

“That’s amazing,” she breathed. She turned her head towards him, their faces inches apart. “How do you know all this?”

“I took an astronomy class last semester.”

She let out a small laugh and he did the same before adding, “I know it’s not a great story.”

“No but it’s cool that you know this stuff. Show me some more. He continued to show her the constellations that he knew until he eventually ran out. They stood there together in silence, hearing nothing but the muffled music from the party, reminding them of the other world waiting for them inside.

“So what’s your plan after graduation?” she asked him.

“I haven’t quite figured it out yet. I know I’m gonna go back to New York and stay with my Ma for a bit. Other than that I don’t really know. What about you?”

“I’m heading to New York too actually. I got a job working in finance on Wall Street.”

“Wow, that’s impressive.”

She shrugged it off, “It’s fine. It’s mostly just because of my parents’ connections that I got the offer. I’m not even sure if that’s what I want to do.”

“Yeah but at least it’s a start. If you don’t like it you can always make a change.”

“I guess that’s true.”

“Well maybe I’ll see you around, in New York,” he added.

“Yeah, that’d be great.” She studied him for a moment and he tried to ignore it but he couldn’t.

“What are you thinking?” he asked.

“I’ve never seen this side of you before. Truthfully, up until a few hours ago I didn’t think you liked me very much.”

He looked at her with a confused look, “That’s impossible. Everyone likes you.”

“I don’t know, you’ve always been a little cold towards me. And I wasn’t sure if it was something I did or said or if you just didn’t like me. But I’d like for us to be friends.”

“Y/N…” he started, running his hands through his hair as he reviewed the bullet points in his head.

“Oh god, you don’t want to be friends do you?”

“No, no it's not that. But I want to tell you that-”

“Hey Buck, ready to head home?” Sam interrupted, sticking his head out the back door.

“Yeah just give me a minute.”

“Come on man, pizza place closes in 5.”

“I’ll…I’ll meet you there.”

“Oh it’s okay Bucky. You can go. I should clean up a little bit anyway,” she said. Bucky gave her a forced smile and walked toward Sam to head back inside.

The minute they reached the street, Bucky punched Sam in the arm.

“You fucking asshole!”

“What the hell man?” Sam said.

“I was just about to tell her.”

“You were out there for hours man, I figured you’ asked her out already.”

Bucky sighed, “I’ll never have that chance again.”

“If it’s meant to be, it’ll all work out.” Sam was always so happy-go-lucky when it came to love and it frustrated Bucky to no end. As they walked home, he tried to focus on the positives instead of his missed opportunity.

X

Nat woke up the next morning with a splitting headache. Steve was propped up next to her, reading his latest World War II book.

“Good morning,” he said and she groaned in response.

“Did I really leave my own party early?” she asked.

“You did,” he confirmed.

“Why did you let me do that?” she whined.

“You were insistent and you know how you get when you’ve made up your mind.”

“I guess that’s true,” she took a deep breath and added, “I should probably get back and help Y/N clean up.” She climbed out of the bed and gathered her things, determined to get home before the hangover truly hit her.

When she went to grab her keys from the counter top, she noticed something. There was a piece of notebook paper folded in half with her roommate’s name on it. Natasha snatched the paper, opened it up and read the first sentence. It was a love letter. From Bucky. Nat didn’t read any further, but she slipped the note into her bag as she left. She knew this was probably never meant for Y/N’s eyes, but she thought Bucky could use a little nudge in the right direction.

X

Bucky woke up with a smile on his face. Despite how his night ended, he played over the memories of the night before and realized he connected with Y/N. He felt like there was a definite potential for more, so he decided to make another opportunity for himself. But first, he wanted to reread his words. He went to grab the letter from his dresser only to find it wasn’t there.

“Ugh, Sam…” he said to himself. He walked out to the living room searching for the letter. “Where did he put it…” he said to himself. He pounded on Sam’s door, waking him up. “What?” he said through the door.

“Where did you put the note?”

“The note?”

“Yes…the note…”

Sam opened the door, “I thought I put it on the counter when we left.”

“Well it’s not there.”

“It has to be there,” Sam said, rushing past Bucky. He glanced around the room and it was nowhere to be found.

“It’s not here,” Bucky reiterated.

“I’m sure Steve just threw it out. You know that he doesn’t like clutter.”

Bucky stared daggers into him and Sam retreated into his room. Bucky tried to ignore his unease and focus on his next move.

X

“Hey there roomie. How ya feeling?” Y/N asked as Nat trudged through the door.

“How do you think?”

“There’s coffee in the kitchen if that helps.” Nat poured herself a cup and joined Y/N on the couch in the living room.

“I have something for you.” Natasha pulled out the letter from her purse and handed it over.

“What is this?”

“Just read it,” Nat said, trying not to obviously study her roommate’s reaction.

Y/N read the letter and her expression shifted multiple times, ranging from flattery to confusion to happiness. She subconsciously put her hand over her heart as a blush crept up her face. When she was finished, she looked up at Natasha in confusion.

“What is this, Nat?”

She shrugged, “I don’t know, I didn’t read it but I found it sitting on the counter at the guys’ house when I left.”

“What am I supposed to do now?”

“Go talk to Bucky,” Nat said, as if it was obvious what she should do next. Y/N sat there, contemplating what her options were and concluded that Natasha was right. Y/N went to take a long shower in an effort to rinse off her hangover and delay the awkward talk she was about to have with Bucky.

X

Bucky was working on crafting a text to Y/N when there was a knock at the door. He stood to answer it, assuming it was Nat to hang out with Steve, but he was surprised to find Y/N standing on his doorstep. He then realized he wasn’t wearing a shirt and his cheeks immediately flushed as he noticed her looking at his sculpted abdomen.

“Hi Bucky,” she breathed, finally meeting his eyes. “Can we talk?”

He scratched the back of his neck and Y/N watched his bicep flex and tried to hide the impact his muscles were having on her.

“Come on in,” he opened the door for her and she made herself comfortable on the couch. “I’ll be right back,” he announced as he fled to his room to grab a shirt. He re-emerged into the living room with a skin tight t-shirt and sat next down with her on the couch.

“So what’s up?” he started.

“Well…” she said, as she pulled out the letter.

“Shit,” he exhaled. “Where did you get that?” He immediately tensed up.

“Nat gave it to me.”

He froze for a second, trying to understand how that happened and when he solved the puzzle he immediately put his head in his hands, “She must’ve grabbed it from the counter.”

“It doesn’t matter how I got it, but can we talk about it?”

“Y/N, you were never supposed to see that.”

“Well why not?” He looked up at that. “Why didn’t you tell me?”

“What was I supposed to say? ‘Y/N, I think I’m in love with you?’”

Her breath caught in her throat. Hearing those words come out of his mouth was unexpected. But what was more unexpected were the butterflies dancing around her stomach as her cheeks flushed.

“Is this how you really feel?” she asked, holding up the letter.

He made eye contact with her but all he could do was nod. She let out a deep sigh and he couldn’t look at her. He leaned forward, forearms on his thighs, as he stared down at the floor. She didn’t feel the same way. He could tell from her demeanor that she was about to let him down lightly.

“Bucky…” she reached out and placed a hand over his, “it’s just that…we’ve wasted so much time.”

He looked up at her, waiting for more, “I’ve had a crush on you forever dude.”

“What?” He looked at her in disbelief.

“As much as I enjoy spending time with your roommates, there was a reason I was always hanging around with you guys.”

“So…what are you saying?” he said, unable to form coherent thoughts.

She did the first thing that came to mind. She reached over and placed her hands on his jaw. She gently rubbed the stubble on his cheeks with her thumb and she said, “I’m saying that I like you.” She smiled and looked at him with adoration and Bucky couldn’t help himself.

He slowly leaned forward, giving her plenty of time to pull back. But she didn’t. It almost felt like she was pulling him in ever so slightly. He paused when they were centimeters apart, more out of uncertainty than anything. But she closed the gap, unable to stand the tension any longer. Their lips brushed together, softly at first. And then he felt her mouth curve up into a smile and he gained confidence. He moved one arm around her waist and his other hand landed on her jaw as he intensified the kiss. She moved her hand from his jaw to the back of his neck and her fingers played with his hair. The two pulled away, out of breath and a huge smile spread across Bucky’s face.

“You have no idea how long I’ve wanted to do that.”

“Mmm…I think I do,” she said, glancing at the letter.

“You’re never going to let that go are you.”

“Are you kidding? I loved it. No one’s ever done that for me before. Even if it wasn’t completely intentional.”

He kissed her again and he didn’t want this moment to ever end. Bucky realized he’d have to thank Nat, and Sam for that matter. Without them he wouldn’t be here. They parted yet again and Bucky said, “Not that I want you to leave, but you should probably go home and get ready.”

“Ready for what?”

“I’m taking you out to dinner tonight.”

“Really?” she beamed at him.

He planted a sweet kiss on the tip of her nose, “Darling, I’ve been waiting years to take you out. I don’t want to wait anymore.”

She pecked his lips and said, “Pick me up at 8.” She gathered her things and he walked her to the front door. She stepped outside and then turned around before she walked away.

“I’m really glad you wrote that letter, even if you weren’t actually going to give it to me.”

He nodded and pulled her into a tight hug, “Me too.”

Jellal such a gentleman and Gray and Juvia in matching outfits :D

Runaway Bride

Summary: You are a brat and won’t give in that easily. If he wants you, he’ll have to work for it.

Pairing: Mobster!Bucky Barnes x fem!Reader

Characters: Sam Wilson, Tony Stark, Steve Rogers, Clint Barton

Warnings: language, bratty reader, arranged marriage, implied smut, cocky Bucky, mutual pining, the reader is a stubborn bitch, but she loves her mobster, fluff, happy end

A/N: Inspired by a trailer from 355. 🥺

Divider by @firefly-graphics​

<< Part 1

“Doll, you will come with me,” Bucky grunts. He’s just done playing your games and grips your left upper arm roughly. “Get. In. The. Car.”

“I won’t go with you,” you smirk eyes roaming Bucky in his tuxedo. He looks even more handsome today and if not for the marriage lie ahead, you would gladly jump his bones. “Let go of me.”

Weiterlesen

funny m8

Jellal such a gentleman and Gray and Juvia in matching outfits :D

gorgeous gorgeous girls read fanfiction for 4 straight hours then daydream about their unhinged villain lover.