I’m Not Brainwashed.

Aspiring Escape Artist

(DCxDP) | Masterpost | Next to be written

"Alright, Mr. Fenton," his newest social worker started, turning in her seat so she might actually get him to look at her. Danny continued looking out the window and up at the gigantic building they were parked in front of.

"This is your last chance before the system declares you unfit for foster homes and sends you off to juvie. And before you get all uppitty about it, know this is as much your fault as it is the system's."

Danny rolled his eyes, watching as shadows rushed past windows too tinted to actually see into. Another shadow darted past a lower one, dragging his eyes down and toward the door. The shadow was quickly followed by three more, one of them waving something over their head.

Allowing his hearing to spread out from its usual range, Danny listened as muffled shouts filled the air, quickly turning into clear words.

"GET THE MASK, GET THE MASK!"

"SHIT!" fallowed by a thump and the sound of a large piece of furniture tipping backward and landing.

"I GOT IT!" another voice cried.

"HEY, I HAd that, you little shit-"

Danny quickly pulled his hearing back, not wanting to listen anymore. He already knew he was going to hate it here.

"Now, Mr. Wayne has taken in a lot of kids and has been very gracious to open his home to you. Make no mistakes, young man. You will listen to what he tells you, and so help me, if you cause this man any trouble whatsoever, you will regret it. Stay in the car until I tell you you can get out. I need to go over your file with Mr. Wayne first."

She was acting like Danny was some delinquent picked up fresh from a gang fight. He was half tempted to act like it just to spite her, but bit his tongue and continued looking around the place.

The large garden surrounding the building was obviously well taken care of, the green hummed happily as the (what Danny's gathered) rare sun shone in the sky.

His control over plants still needs work, but he's gotten good enough to connect to the green and get the general feelings. Like how the man who just walked out the front doors was greatly loved by the plants, which meant he was the one taking care of them.

"Are you even listening to me?" the lady huffed, unbuckling herself and shoving the car door open. She was already standing and treating the old man before Danny could respond.

"Hello, Mr. Pennyworth, was it? Hi, I'm Ms. Clance, I'm Danny's social worker. Is Mr. Wayne home?" she slammed the door shut and held her hand out for a handshake.

The older man eyed her hand but otherwise ignored it, instead turning to look at Danny, who was still in the car. "That is correct, Ms. Clance. Master Wayne is in his study; he'll be down in a moment to discourse any last minute things you need to cover. Now, why don't we get Mr. fenton inside and aquanted with the others?"

"Hold on for just a moment," Ms. Clance cut in, sending Danny a nervous glance. Danny raised his brow, but continued to pretend he couldn't hear a word they were saying, 'waiting' for her signal to get out of the car.

The front door opened behind them, three heads popping out in an obvious attempt to eavesdrop on the conversation. There was an older guy, maybe in his mid to late twenties, a blond girl, still in her teens, and a guy with eyebags. Though Danny's were definitely worse, he might have Tucker beat. which was worrying, because what could this guy possibly need to pull three all-nighters for?

"I would like to speak with Mr. Wayne before letting the kid settle in. No offence, but I want to make sure Mr. Wayne is serious in wanting to house the kid. We've already had three other families agree to take him on and then drop him in less than a month."

"I see," Mr. Pennyworth hummed, studying Danny with a sharp eye. Danny studied him back; he had good posture, and his graying hair was slicked back. He had a mustache but no other facial hair, so he obviously kept himself well-maintained. Jazz said people like that were more likely to be well-disciplined and lean toward being blunt and honest.

His stance didn't lean toward classic butler, though; it leaned toward fighting and alert. He had experience in the army or something then, which meant Danny would have to keep an eye on this guy. he probably was the one running the house when Mr. Wayne wasn't around. which meant he'd be the one watching Danny the most.

"I still believe the young man should come inside, master wayne doesn't go back on his words, and he'll unlikely do so now."

Ms. Clance warily glanced at Danny, then back at Mr. Pennyworth, a fake smile plastered on her face, before one of the three spying on the cut in," yeah! I want to meet the little guy!"

The door swung open, allowing even more people to crowd around and watch the scene in front of them.

"And you will," Ms. Clance agreed, turning to face the growing group. "Once I speak to Mr. Wayne. We have to go over a few things in Daniel's file before I can sign off on all of this."

"Like, what?" the blond one asked, her eyes meeting danny's as she skipped down the stairs. Danny could just tell she'd be down for all sorts of chaos. And he could also tell she'd be glued to his side until her interest died, which would take only clockwork knows how long.

Instinctively, Danny reached out and grabbed the door, just as someone tried opening it. Glancing up and to the side, Danny met gray eyes. It was the other girl he had spotted a few minutes before.

She stared at him for a moment before smiling and stepping back. 'You can come out,' she signed. Danny glanced back at Ms. Clance, then back to the girl before sighing and getting out.

Her eyes lit up once he closed the door and turned back to her.

"You know sign," she asked, her voice quiet but not obviously disused.

'absoltly not', danny signed just to be a little shit. Turning back, he stared at his social worker, who was watching them in confused frustration.

"Daniel, what did I say about staying in the car?" She looked ready to march over and smack him.

"I thought you decided I wasn't listening?" Danny pointed out, crossing his arms and leaning back against the car. If she wanted to waste time, then that was perfectly alright with him.

"Never mind," she huffed, turning back to the butler. (he had to be a butler; he looked just like the one at Sam's place or the one his parents employed when they had made that deal with the GIW.)

"You never answered my question," Blondy cut in, smiling sweetly at the frustrated woman.

"Like the plethora of misdemeanors?" Danny asked, watching as everyone turned to look at him. The gray-eyed girl had slowly made her way back to join the others, though she still looked happy for some reason.

"no," ms. Clance huffed, obviously starting to get overwhelmed for some reason. she needed to take a step back and breath, there was literally no reason for her to be this agitated.

"More like we need to go over how many times you snuck out, got seriously injured, seriously injured someone else, and sent your last foster parent to a mental facility."

"All classified as misdemeanors, so obviously not that bad," Danny waved off, rolling his eyes. "And Mr. Thompson deserved it."

"You drove that man insane!" she hissed, swatting a piece of her hair out of her face.

Danny blinked at her, tilting his head to the side in confusion, "He was already insane before I got there, though?" which was actually quite annoying. danny's dealt with enough insane people at this point, he'd rather hug Vlad than deal with another one.

"He was not," Ms. Clance sniffed, trying to straighten herself out.

"he definitely was," Danny argued, pulling his backpack tighter against his back in annoyance. "The dude thought locking me in a room and feeding me white rice once a day was perfectly fine."

Danny ignored the sudden stilted silence at his words, choosing to instead focus on the man slowly making his way outside and over to them.

"Would you stop making things up already?" Ms. Clance huffed, "We've already gone over this. There wasn't a lock on your door, and there was plenty of food in the pantry."

Danny rolled his eyes, going back to studying the gray-eyed girl. The happy sparkle was gone, and she was making hand signals that the others around her were focused on. It wasn't a dialect of sign he knew, most likely a self-made code then.

"Don't need a lock to lock someone up," Danny grumbled, turning back to Ms. Clance, "and if that doesn't count as insane, then talking to the shadows on the wall and claiming to be immortal does. Do you know how many times that man tried jumping in front of cars or out of a window? Way too many. So yeah, he deserved to go to the mental institution, where he'll get some actual help."

"right," ms. clance waved off, turning to continue talking to Mr. pennyworth. danny cut in before she could, "so, do you guys make it a habit; lingering back and listening to conversations?"

The rest blinked, then turned to see who exactly he was talking to, their eyes following his as they finally spotted the man they were all waiting for.

"ah," mr. wayne chuckled, rubbing the back of his neck sheepishly, "sorry, I didn't want to interup. it sounded important."

"Right," Danny huffed, glaring at the man. Honestly, all the eavesdropping and being loud as hell was turning out to be a regular thing based on the fact that no one else was acting like it wasn't.

Yeah, he was going to hate it here if that was true.

Muscle Memory (DpxDc)

Jason barely remembered getting back to his safe house or even finding his way to bed. The night had been so tiring, so busy, and so many parts of his body hurt.

The moment his head hit the pillow, he was out like a light. Drifting off into dreamland for some much need sleep.

That was until a noise stirred him up from his sleep. It was a soft creak of one of his many loose floorboards.

It was in a flash that Jason was up, eyes still heavy with sleep, and a gun held to his thigh as he exited his bedroom. The soft light coming from his bathroom was the first hint.

When he pushed open the bathroom door, the sight before him had him holstering his weapon. Black hair, blue eyes, and blood. That's all Jason needed to see.

Jason would swear he wasn't still half asleep, that he knew this wasn't one of his brothers. In reality, still sluggish from a hard night and sleep deprivation, Jasin's brain had automatically assumed it was one of his baby brothers.

As he immediately settled into patching up the wounds, holding back questions for now. It wouldn't be the first time one of them came to him for aid when they didn't want Bruce to know they were hurt yet.

It was pure muscle memory as Jason worked. Yes, he didn't like the injuries, reminding himself to ask which rogue did this in the morning.

Now wasn't the time for an interrogation. Not with the barely concealed tears in those eyes, or the dark bags that decorated beneath them.

He barely grumbled for the teen to take the couch, reminding that there were extra blankets in the hallway closet. Dropping a few pills into the boy's hand to help with the pain he was surely in.

Jason left the mess in the bathroom, leaving it a problem for more awake him. He waved the boy off when he tried to speak, telling him they'll talk in the morning.

In the end, Jason was glad to finally face plant back into his bed. Barely bothering to curl up under the covers before sleep took over once again.

When morning came, Jason almost forgot about letting one of his brother's crash in his place. Stumbling out of his bedroom to immediately notice the lump on his couch.

He put a pot of coffee on, grabbing his phone, ready to let Bruce know that whoever came to him last night was safe and sound.

Except, when Jason moved over to confirm who it was, he finally noticed. This wasn't one of his brothers. And last he heard, Bruce hadn't taken in any new strays.

Jason stood over the sleeping boy, phone in one hand, and mind figuring out what to do. His mind replaying the half-asleep memories from last night.

It made sense, now that he thought about it. The boy had seemed so scared, so surprised that Jason was helping. The boy hadn't done anything either by the looks of it.

He didn't seem to have taken anything or even snooped. The boy seemed to have just crashed on the couch like Jason had told him to. He didn't come here to rob him or cause trouble. The kid had broken into his safe house only to raid his first aid kit.

The kid had broken into his safe house only to raid his first aid kit.

Well, Jason wasn't about to put Alfred's teachings to shame by being a horrible host either.

Fic idea number 4 (might actually be 3rd or 5th one idk)

Jason has started giving online cooking classes for free for a bit of fun relaxing community service thing. It goes real well, but there's this one student who one time out of two, closes the camera half-way through and sometimes leaves all together.

Now, Jason's not gonna be offended or anything, he gets it, but he's curious. Is the guy maybe shy because his dishes don't turn out right? Or is it just that he's really unlucky and keeps getting called away? Anyways, one day the guy is clearly going for the close camera button again, but it somehow doesn't work without the guy noticing.

Jason himself doesn't noticse at first but then he looks up from the sauce he's making and sees a green glowing fish trying to maim the guy who's fending it off with a knife. After that, the whole class is treated to a very intense battle between the zombie fish and the guy that looks epic and probably sounds like a warzone.

Finally, the guy manages to skewer the fish to the cutting board and trap it there, still struggling. As if noticing the silence from Jason (who's stopped everything to gawk like all the other students), the guy looks to the computer. Then his eyes grow wide as he realizes they can still see him. He flushes bright red before scrambling for the computer and then his camera feed is gone.

Jason is left reeling, "what the hell was that?"

Disney princess Danny

It’s known that animals can sense death. Instances where pets gravitate to someone on their death bed and dogs barking at ghosts. Danny already knew this from before he half died, so he was expecting animals to rat him out with their sixth sense or become aggressive or cower from him. Instead, they all behaved the complete opposite than he anticipated.

Stray cats come running to rub against his legs, dogs nearly pull arms out of their owners sockets to get close to him, birds bring him trinkets, raccoons lead him to trash cans full of food, and even squirrels and rats get close to just sit on his shoulders. It’s… weird, but not unwelcome. He always loved animals.

Danny had come to semi-trust the animals that come to him. They know where the good food is and drinking water, they know when to steer away from a certain area right before something happens, and they always know when a person is bad or okay. So when an animal leads him somewhere, he follows. Sometimes they need help and he’s the one they go to. He’s helped plenty of raccoons out of garbage bins and cats out of gutters to have a good relationship with the animals of the streets.

What he isn’t expecting is to be led to Robin again and again.

The first time it was a cat. A mangy old Tom cat that rubbed against his torn up jeans and looked back with - Danny swears- a raised eyebrow. Danny follows and soon enough he finds himself standing a few paces away from Robin who is kneeling down to give clean water to the momma cat and her three kittens.

Robin freezes and so does Danny. They stare at each other.

“Um, hi?”

Robin straightens immediately, leaving the water on the ground where the cats can drink. Tom cat swaggers over to guard them.

“Civilian. Is there something I can assist you with?”

The dude is probably a year or two younger than Danny himself and he has to suppress a smile at the formal tone.

“Oh, uh, no? The cat just led me here.”

He can see Robin glance at the Tom cat who was now licking himself.

“Is that so?”

“Yea. Sorry to interrupt. Animals just like me for some reason.”

The three kittens one by one all totter over to him on unsteady legs after they had their fill. The orange one starts trying to climb his pant leg with its short and sharp claws digging into the jean material.

“They really like me.”

He carefully sits down crossed legged so the others could also climb all over him. Robin watches for a moment silently and when he sees Danny react well to the little pricks from tiny claws, he seems it safe enough to return to patrol.

The second time it’s a couple of rats that lure him away to find Robin fighting off more thugs than he probably should by himself. So taking the rats’ movements as encouragement, he takes the closest thing, a piece of plywood, and hit the nearest guy over the head with it. The guy crumbles like a wet sock and Danny is moving on to the next thug.

They sweep the floor with these guys with only a few splinters and a twisted ankle.

“It was dangerous to intervene,” Robin tells him. “I had it handled.”

“Yea, I know.”

The vigilante didn’t seem to be expecting that response from his stunned silence. He straightens as much as he can with bruised ribs.

“Well, I’m glad you know your mistake. Don’t let it happen again.”

Danny neither agrees nor disagrees, just shrugs and allow the rats to climb up his leg to his shoulder. Robin looks at them curiously. Danny gives a salute before leaving. Robin gives him a nod.

The third time it happened the roles are reversed.

Some people from the local gang are bullying the lonely, homeless teen to run drugs for them. They don’t seem to understand the word ‘no’. It gets to the point where Danny finds himself with his back against the wall and all his exits blocked with a guy shoving him again and again.

“Stop it!”

“I’ll stop if you agree.”

“I’m not doing it!”

Frank the raccoon and his buddy Bobby launch themselves at the guy’s ankles. The guy shrieks and pulls a gun.

“No!”

Before Danny can dive for it, a projectile comes out of nowhere to knock it out of his hands. He can’t even process what happened before the three are running away, two raccoons chattering at their heels before coming back to crowd him in worry.

Danny looks up to see Robin with a sword out threateningly, staring at where the three fled. He sheaths the sword after a few seconds.

“Are you okay?”

Danny realizes he’s breathing a little heavy and slows down a bit as he leans over to pet the top of the two heads.

“I’m- yea, I’m okay. Thanks for the save. Those guys were jerks.”

“I’m inclined to agree.”

Robin is staring at the raccoons and it takes Danny a long moment to piece things together.

“Did- did they lead you to me?”

Robin doesn’t answer right away.

“You have loyal friends.”

Danny smiles at the weird compliment. Looking down at the two heroes of the evening Danny is also inclined to agree.

The fourth time is funny in a way Danny doesn’t know how to describe.

It was the pigeons. They were at fault of course for how Robin’s secret identity was outed. By pigeons.

The grey birds swarmed Danny and settled in a cloud of feathers. One holding something in its beak before plopping it down in his lap like a golden retriever. It flaps off as Danny picks up the obvious wallet clip holding quite a bit of cash and a student ID. The card says Damian Wayne from Gotham Academy. Just then Robin comes skidding around the corner, clearly out of breath and freezes.

Danny looks down at the clip in his hand and back up at the vigilante. He looks at the crazy amount of birds around him and again at the vigilante.

Said vigilante straightens and approaches like he called Danny there.

“If I could have that so I could return it to its proper owner.”

He holds out a hand with false arrogance, but Danny can see the nervousness in his stance. Danny looks down one last time before putting the clip in the outstretched hand without a word.

Robin nods once, pockets the ID and money, and immediately leaves.

The fifth time just cements what Danny had already figured out.

He was at the park. Not Ivy’s park of course, the one where people actually like to go. He was helping the squirrels find and hide acorns when he’s nearly knocked over by a massive black dog.

“Titus!”

The end of the Great Dane’s leash is a familiar face. Damian Wayne’s eyes widen in recognition as he finally sees who Titus was so excited to get to.

“Uh-“

Danny has to close his mouth quickly or else the massive tongue on his face would have turned into a French kiss.

“Titus! Heel!”

Danny laughs at the embarrassed blush on the other’s face, obviously not used to his companion going off the rails like this.

“It’s alright. We both know how animals like me.”

Damian narrows his eyes to analyze the teen. Danny wasn’t about to pretend and Damian looked like he was debating whether to follow his lead or not. There was literally no one within hearing distance.

“Have you told anyone?”

Danny thought about redirecting, but thought better of it. He actually liked Robin and what he did.

“Nope. I haven’t and I won’t. I swear.”

Damian tilts his head and then looks down at Titus. He seems to come to a decision before looking back at Danny.

“You’re homeless, are you not?”

Didn’t think they were being that direct but sure.

“Yea?”

“I will pay you in food and shelter to take care of my animals.”

Danny blinks. Then actually considers the offer.

“What kind of animals? How many we talking?”

Damian grins.

The family finds out pretty quickly when a teen they’ve never seen before walks into the Batcave with two pails of food for the bats, Titus at his heels and Alfred the cat perched contently on his shoulders.

Duke stares and Bruce short circuits.

“Um, who are you?”

“Hi! I’m Danny. Damian employed me to take care of the animals.”

“O…kay?”

“And where is Damian?” Bruce sounds like it physically hurts to ask and Danny does not envy Damian’s position right now.

“Upstairs. I think he said he was going to his art studio.”

Bruce marches past the boy to the stairs before stopping abruptly and turning to Danny and Duke.

“Don’t touch anything. Watch him.”

Duke and Danny blink at each other for a moment as Bruce disappears up the stairs.

“I’m Duke by the way.”

Danny grins.

Merlin: if you ever see me with the crown prince of the kingdom that kills magic users for sport, mind your business, I'm trying to get our rights back

Fountain of Youth

dcxdp ficlet pt 1

Phantom wasn't aging. Danny didnt notice at first. Didn't notice for a long time. Phantom didn't exactly use bathrooms or shower or stop to sign autographs, things that would put him in front of an image of himself.

Fenton however, did keep aging. And since he did pass mirriors and get his picture taken, he didn't have reason to suspect anything was amiss. He was aging. He was alive.

He moved out. Went to college. Graduated. Saved some lives. Got recruited by the Justice League. Things were going great.

And then one of Batmans proteges stopped by. Danny wasn't sure which one. He didn't really keep up with that kind of thing. But they started chatting with him. Danny figured that they just didn't talk to a lot of adult heros and wanted someone to show off too. So, Danny did what he did when Jazz or Tucker's kids started and made a show of being impressed by their stories. It seemed to work, but it was weird, they weren't treating him like a hero or weird uncle or something. More like one of their team mates. Asking questions about how he got onto the Justice League proper and not an affiliate team. Lamenting that they were relegated to sidekick work and not allowed to be a hero in their own right. Danny tried to reassure them. Consol them that Batman obviously valued their input. Then the kid started flirting with him. Danny tried to set boundries. Make it clear that he wasn't intrested. Being at least a decade older than them and all.

And then the kid asked him out.

Danny turned the kid down as politely as he could. Which led to a baffling few minutes of being shouted at and accused of...well he wasn't sure what exactly. And then them storming off.

"Are you alright?" Danny blinked at Superman. and when did Superman get there?

"uh. ya. why?" Superman tilted his head and gestured to the door.

"Oh, superhearing. Right. Guess I can't ask you to pretend that you didn't hear that?" Superman continued to stare at him. "Clockwork, I hate it when you do that. You remind me of my sister. She used to look at me like that. When we were kids. before I you know...died and all. Augh. Stop it. I feel like I'm 14 again and getting caught breaking curfew. I'm fine Supes. Really. I just feel bad for the kid and wish I knew what I did to earn the outburst. Like, I get I'm down with the kids and all. But come on. I'm what 10-15 years older than them? and dead? what did they think I was going to say? and why is it my fault? I was just trying to be nice to the kid."

"Son, and I don't mean to be insensitive, but perhaps it has something to do with your appearance?"

"?"

"In that you look. What I mean is that you appear- your face resembles-" The man stuttered, trying to figure out how to say what he knew was a taboo for ghosts.

"Come on Supes, just spit it out already. I rescued your cousin from the Phantom Realm and its unspeakable horrors, I think we're past getting upset over the occasional minor cultural insesitivity."

"When was the last time you saw yourself Phantom?"

"Whaddaya mean?" Danny cocked his head to the side, confused, he looked in mirrors all the time! like last night when he was fixing his hair before meeting up with some coworkers for drinks.

"When was the last time you, Phantom, looked in a mirror?" when was the last time he looked in the mirror AS Phantom, Supes meant. Careful with his identity as always. Those that knew knew his only REAL protection was everyone thinking ghosts could only ever be dead. And knowledge that one could be both was closely gaurded, even amongst the wider superhero community.

"I dunno, probably right after the accident I guess? There were posters and stuff with my face on them for awhile, but they just kept using the same three pics. I don't really stick around for photo ops. My aura started messing with tech like a year? after I died, so it didn't really matter if I did anyway. and with the whole #1 enemy thing, it wouldn't have been safe too." Danny scratched his head, thinking hard about when he had seen seen himself last. He remembered the first time. fresh out of the portal. Before they realized he had died. Before they realized he could still live. The shock of white hair where it should have been stark black. Those green eyes, wide with panic and glowing like someone had poured Diphenyl oxalate into them and mixed it with a fluorescent dye solution.

"Phantom," Superman said firmly. Not so loud that he would panic, but loud enough that he could cut through the sudden spiral he saw his collegue falling into. The reason why you weren't supposed to bring up things related to a ghosts death. Especially ones that died violently. Especially those that died as children.

Danny blinked and took a deep, uneeded, breath. "It's ok. I'm ok. Just. What about my appearence?"

"Phantom..."

"Kal."

Delilah has been transferred into the bigger and better funded Central City Zoo! Of course Danny's invited to come visit her, he's specifically one of the few people allowed to be in the same physical space as one of the worlds deadliest wild animals, specifically, the most violent and aggressive species of gorilla. All because Delilah, at some point, convinced herself that Danny is her baby and she pretty much refuses to hurt him in any way. She will groom him, and share her food with him, and sits him down to teach him her signs, and play very, very gently with her weak human baby, even though she insists, through sign, that he's very strong. The primatologists always lose their minds when Danny visits, as Delilah doesn't let any other human ape of any kind within five feet of her without a sedative. Depending on her mood, she might even try to keep Danny safe away from other humans. He's her baby, you see.

Unfortunately, the new World's Deadliest Gorilla exhibit attracts the attention of Grodd. The hyper-intelligent meta-gorilla wants to use the worlds deadliest gorilla to get vengeance on the Flash for ruining his world domination plans, and he doesn't really care if some human child gets hurt in the process. In fact, that'll probably hurt the Flash more.

Vlad, Toddler Danny and the Gotham Gala

Bruce saw the Bat signal outside and wanted to leave the Gala. He told Vlad Masters that he needed to go to the toilet. Vlad Master glared at Bruce and said, "Daniel, come!" A tiny black-haired toddler came walking to them. After Danny was hit by the GIW, his parents tried to save his life, and Vlad helped them. The only side effect was toddler Danny. But somehow, this made the relationship much better with his parents. So Uncle Vlad is now good? Danny:" You know it's Danny!" Vlad:" Daniel, Mr. Wayne fears he will get lost on his way to the toilet. So I want you to show him the way there and back." + Tiny Danny led Mr. Wayne to his own bathroom. He wasn't sure if that was real, but Vlad and Mr. Luthor told him he wasn't the smartest. So he asked just to be sure. Danny:" Are you really that way Uncle Vlad says it? I mean, he talks poop about many people." Bruce Wayne, who knows it would be bad if people knew he faked it, didn't say anything.

+ Danny now knew for once Vlad was right: Mr. Wayne was worse than his dad. So he took his hand... I mean finger and led him around the Gala in the Wayne Mansion. "No fear, I won't let you get lost." That was how the media and Gotham Elite were greeted by Bruce Wayne being led around by a toddler to not get lost.

"Wow, for once he didn't get lost in his own Mansion." And it became a news article. "Brucie Wayne didn't get lost in a gala!"

Of all the problems Danny thought he'd have fleeing Amity to another universes version of Amity, called Goth Ham or something, he didn't think the first big one was gonna be a fricken clown. Yes he was technically, but not really, homeless, had no money, had no forms of identification and was by now considered legally dead by his home government, and non existent by this one. But he could handle those with relative ease. But a clown? To be honest he was surprised he hadn't run into a clown themed psychopath until now, well... if he didn't count Vlad.

Once upon a time Danny would have felt bad about stealing but he was over taking the moral high ground with such petty things. He was only half dead, he needed to eat. And he thought he'd done enough good deeds in his short life to be allowed to just take what he needed without money. Besides he was never caught on camera or by security systems, they always 'mysteriously' shorted out. No one ever got hurt cause he just went after closing. And he never targeted small mom and pop operations, only large corporations who logically wouldn't miss the products taken by one small 15 year old. So ... Well maybe he was still sort of taking the moral high ground but come on he wasn't heartless.

He'd set up a tent in one of the only alleys that weren't overtaken with homeless people already, he supposed even a city with a millionaire as generous as Bruce fricken Wayne not all issues could be solved. He'd learnt a neat trick from Desiree, who's haunt in the GZ was stereotypically a lamp, to make a space much bigger on the inside than it was on the outside, eat your heart out Doctor Who. Technus had designed a generator that could produce energy from a small piece of highly concentrated ectoplasm, which Danny could form by compressing his ectoblasts into crystals. A single crystal lasted months. And the tech savvy ghost also rigged a system that connected to the cities water and waste systems so he had fully functional plumbing. So from the outside it looked like he was living in a medium sized tent. But on the inside he had a full multi bedroom apartment. He was quite comfortable, and the shield around it was designed to keep out ghosts and deter humans, playing on that sensation they naturally had to avoid something weird.

So when a clown walked straight into his home he was caught a little off guard. Since his home was sound proof he hadn't heard anything from outside, and had been walking from the kitchen to the unliving room, his little inside joke to himself, cradling a bowl of popcorn wearing pyjamas he was startled enough to blast the weird thing wearing a purple suit right the feck back out.

Joker hadn't expected to run into a young meta human that night. But as the only Batling that actually used guns was on his ass like a mouse on drywall he had just ducked into a tent intending to take whomever was inside hostage. He hadn't known what to expect inside but a teenager in the threshold of a high scale apartment wasn't exactly it. And the he was shot by something bright and green, even though the brat wasn't armed.

A pale face emerged from the tent looking down on him, a young boy, looked like he could have been one of the little projects that Wayne guy was always taking on, as the clown lay sprawled on the filthy ground of the alley slightly winded. "You startled me." He said with slight concern. "You alright?" The joker laughed. A crazy laugh. Crazier than usual. Someone in Gotham asking the Joker if he was alright? Hilarious.

"You're not from around here are you kid?" He wheezed between cackles, the concern seeming to grow on the child's face making it funnier. The brat shook his head, stepping out from the tent fully and crouching by the man, who was now laughing so hard nothing but a wheezy rasp was getting out. He was examining the scorch marks left on Joker's suit, even reaching out and patting the man's chest.

"No physical wounds, but maybe you hit your head?" He mumbled. Joker took a deep breath and laughed even louder. "Dude, that's distracting, quiet, I'm trying to make sure whatever's up with you isn't my fault." He then, with sheer audacity placed a small, freakishly cold hand to the man's mouth. He yelped and jerked back when Joker lurched upwards into sitting, a few strands of his usually slicked back green hair falling into his face as he gave the kid a wide grin, eyes wild. "Mmm... No I think your kind of crazy has been brewing for a while." He decided, the Joker gave an unnerving giggle.

"You've never heard of me? Surely I've been on the news." Joker said feeling generously social. The kid eyed him wearily as he stuck out his hand. "Name's the Joker, last name Joker, first name The."

"I feel like you've got a buzzer on your hand." The kid said, not taking the handshake. The Joker raised his hand revealing the buzzer with a way too many teeth grin.

"Guilty. Listen, kid, think I could hide out in your little abomination of space in there?" The Joker leaned really close to the boy, watching the youths nose crinkle with disapproval of the invasion of personal space.

"I suppose..." He murmured. The Joker leapt to his feat with a loud 'Great!' and didn't even wait for the boy before stepping inside to inspect the property inside. He picked up the discarded popcorn and made himself at home, vaguely aware that the child had also re-entered the tent.

After a moment he looked over his shoulder to see the boy standing awkwardly, watching him with confusion and concern. He liked concern, it meant he could manipulate that. "You just gonna stand there like the world's scrawniest scarecrow?"

The boy shuffled his feet remaining where he stood, clearly uncomfortable about the Joker being there, but he sensed it wasn't because he was a clearly psychotic clown who'd barged his way into the kids home. As he studied the kids expression trying to discern what exactly it was that made the kid weary, cause the clown thing was usually enough, he noticed faint scaring across the boys face. Mostly the left side, fanning out in jagged lines from a pinpoint somewhere under the collar of his shirt. He turned away mulling this information over while flipping through the channels of a massive tv, how did the kid get better reception in this impossible tent than the system rigged up by that cable Guy he'd kidnapped a while back?

Eventually the kid sat down, granted it was as far away from him as possible, this was a normal response to sitting with the Joker. "Wanna know something kid?" The boy's wide eyes glanced away from the screen, where a tasteful documentary on common bats was playing, curiosity evident though he remained silent. "I'm not a good guy."

He expected a bit of fear maybe, but the withering look he received was far from that. Icy eyes seemed to say in a snarky tone 'No kidding?' "Didn't really expect a man dressed like Ronald McDonald's lesser known cousin oozing criminal King pin energy to be an upstanding citizen." He responded looking back at the tv. "I'm not exactly a good guy either."

The Joker's grin grew, this kid was interesting, he'd been around the block if he could note that Joker wasn't just any old psycho. "Is that so?"

"I mean I had my moment of vigilante justice and all it got me was the hatred of my parents, homelessness and being declared legally dead. But you learn to pin point the dangerous ones." The boy grumbled, pulling his knees up to his chest and staring intently at the screen. "You're a dangerous one."

The Joker laughed. "Got a name or are you just dead teen walking?"

"Danny."

"Not a very heroic name."

"Not a very heroic guy."

"You've been in the hero business and you've never heard of me?"

"Purple and green Court Jester named Joker? No."

"Cuts deep kid. I'm a little insulted. Bet you know Batman. That's not fair."

"Batman? You think that instead of some grape and apple looking dude I'd know a furry?"

Joker wheezed, a furry, he'd have to add that one to his routine, bats would love that. "You must be from outta space or somethin kid."

"Or something. How long did you need to hide here?" Danny asked now watching the Joker as the man hunched over imagining the glee of calling the stone cold Batman a furry.

"Not really hiding when I threw a tracker on him."

Danny and the Joker whipped their heads around to see who Joker recognised as Red Hood, and who Danny recognised as another madman in a silly costume. He really needed to figure out a lock system. But something about the man also gave Danny a sense of interest. Something that felt familiar. "Ah, well. When you put it like that." Joker grabbed the kid, noting idly that the jagged scars were down his arm as well. "What we have here is a hostage situation."

Danny glanced at the 'weapon' he was supposedly being held hostage with, a small hand held canister, painted green and purple with a sinister grin painted in the centre. "What's that?" He asked, though honestly he assumed it was a gas of some sort, which didn't really affect him since he could just turn off the need to breathe when it suited him.

"Laughing gas, lethal laughing gas." The newcomer growled. While the Joker rambled about this guy, Red Hood he called him, ruining the punch line Danny simply turned invisible and intangible. The Joker and Red Hood were both understandably surprised. Red Hood muttered something about a 'Meta Human'.

"Okay, well, I felt bad for hitting you earlier but you officially overstayed your welcome." Danny said reappearing to the side, he then glanced at Red Hood. "And you weren't even invited. So...."

And like that he was gone. Not just him. His entire home, the tent it was crammed into, everything. Every trace of the kid was gone. Joker stared at Red Hood who was temporarily thrown off by the magic trick of the century. So naturally the Joker started running, dropping the canister behind him as a treat. It had been a weird day. Even for him.

Meanwhile Jason Todd stood wondering if he should be worried about this new Meta Human in Gotham who seemed to, even if temporary, been chumming it up with the Joker. If the deranged clown managed to get a Meta Human in his arsenal there'd be trouble. And Danny? Danny had relocated behind a local fast food restaurant, he deserved a burger and fries as a treat for dealing with Goth Ham City Crazies.

To be continued maybe?

Witness Protection

There’s a dead guy in the alley and it’s not Danny. 

Ok, technically there are two dead guys in the alley but honestly, Danny feels like they’re way past semantics.

Because, once again, there is a dead man in the alley. 

Danny is fairly sure the guy’s been murdered. The bloody mess that is the guy's chest is a pretty good indicator, but the bloody knife that's still stuck in the guy’s guts is really what makes it for the teen.

Danny might be freaking out a little bit. Because, while he is used to dead people, they’re never this newly deceased, or for that matter, this gruesomely murdered.

Before his breath can quicken too much, Danny makes himself take a deep breath. 

Say what you want about Danny, but he hasn’t spent his high-school career moonlighting as a teenage vigilante without learning a thing or two about staving off a panic attack. Feeling more calm, Danny focuses back on the issue at hand.

I should call the police, says something in the back of his head that sounds like Jazz.

If I call in the murder I’ll be on the suspect list, retorts some other part of his brain he’s choosing to call the Sam part.

No advice from an imaginary Tuck though. Even in his own mind he can’t imagine a Tucker that hasn’t already passed out cold at the sight of a dead guy. 

Which, fair. Danny is kinda considering the option, as he’s feeling a little faint himself. It is way past time he got out of here. At least he's figured out just how to do it.

Anonymous tips are a wonderful thing, made all the more wonderful by the presence of payphones in Gotham.Danny is officially handing this off to the proper authorities.

Boy is he glad he doesn’t have to be involved anymore.

A few streets over, a hooded figure rounds a corner, their breath coming fast  as they clench their bloody fists agitadely. There wasn’t supposed to be anyone there, and yet. This is an unexpected setback.

The hooded figure leans back against the alley wall to catch their breath. Nothing to do about it but fix it. And as these things go, this is an easy mistake to fix. The face of the black-haired blue-eyed hurdle floats to the front of their mind. 

It should be child’s play.