They Should Kill Off Cartman. Im Not Joking – They Should Kill Cartman Out Of Nowhere In A Random Episode

unexpected kenman posting ⁉️⁉️⁉️

I feel like people who highly dislike kenman as a romantic or a platonic ship either just don't like shipping cartman (which is....okay I guess??), or haven't watched South Park further than first few seasons

In first few seasons Cartman was ripping on Kenny, it is true. But then (uhhhhh I'm not 100% sure what to say but......after season.....6 maybe???...) Kyle became the main focus of Cartman's mockery. And like. Kenman became such a wholesome duo 💔💔

Cartman starts treating Kenny well! As much as he's capable of, he cares for Kenny. And that's why I think Kenman is great for both of their characters.

I loooooove how sometimes they're just casually hanging out on the background. How Cartman sometimes spoils Kenny. AND also how Kenny is one of the first to agree on the crazy stuff Cartman is doing !

If I talk a liiiitle about them as a romantic ship, I think they'll be great and healthy for each other. Cartman would be good for Kenny because he could stabilize Kenny's life (kinda take a little control???) but also give him the freedom he needs. Kenny would be good for Cartman because Kenny feels the sympathy that Cartman needs, he can understand his thoughts and trauma.

Overall they're just a great duo. Like. They have a really good healthy friendship, which is good for them both, and also enjoyable to watch

Actually, Kenman is my only Kenny ship, which I love equally as a romantic and platonic duo ❤️

Kyman💚❤️

Rb if you agree

VITA WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN, LOCA? WEVE MISSED YOU IN THE SERVER

WHHHAT NMNZKZNXK HELLO DUDE HOW ARE U???

IM. IDK IM MOSTLY RESTING CUZ IVE RUN OUT OF IDEAS FOR KYMAN AUS SO IM EMBARRASSED TO SHOW UP IN THE SERVER 😭😭😭

i miss it a lot tho, id like to chat with u guys again 😿😿😿😿😿

@bloogers-boogers @hatsunevitu (this is a joke about Cartman’s dad for anyone that didn't get it)

IT’S KYMAN WEEK AND CARTDAY NOW OMG

happy birthday the most fucked up boy <3

that was a long rest but HEYYY im kinda back!!!!!!!!

i haven’t written a lot of things during my time off but i’ve kind of started to write my university au kyman fanfic (this is difficult cuz i have no clue how universities in usa work so i’ll have to do a lot of research….) and yepp that’s it. if anyone is interested i can tell more about this au adding some details (it also has stutters and weidi in it!!)

aaaaand cw nsfw mentioned

btw guys im still pretty new to tumblr so idk does anyone here think it’d be okay if i posted some aged up!kyman nsfw headcanons? /gen. that’s sorta the only thing i’ve written so far hehe

like i’m pretty sure almost nobody likes both these fandoms but i’m watching gotham rn and gobblepot is so kyman. like goddamn. have you even seen them?

cartman as a sneaky and pathetic backstabbing ambitious liar who betrays everyone and doesn’t know what the honesty is, an example for the rags-to-riches story, with the only soft spot for his mother who spoiled and overprotected him (that’s oswald)

and then there’s kyle – the only honest cop in the whole city, disliked by most people around cause of his obsession with justice. does that mean he’s good in general? not at all. he has this dark side, the hypocritical one which he tries to cover up and hide but fails miserably (jim gordon)

and they have this mental connection.

this “opposites attract” dynamic. like. UHHHH

i am absolutely addicted to making crossovers between my current fandoms and south park

i have a headcanon that all of cartman’s “first times” were with butters: first kiss, first sexual contact (as teens), first date attempts. because they both trusted each other and they both had sexuality and identity crisis, so they kinda… experimented with each other.

and even though kyle laughs when he just learns this fact of cartman’s life, after he finally starts dating cartman he can’t help but feel these jealousy and envy when eric mentions that “he has already tried that with butters”, and he’s very likely to subconsciously start disliking butters a little, because he just can’t let go of this thought of cartman and butters kissing or having an awkward date or something.

man i LOVE kenman brotp (that goes along with kyman otp) so here’s an au

ok cw death

i was randomly thinking about an au where cartman got immortality too.

(idk how exactly tho, i think it had something to do with satan or jesus who wanted to teach cartman empathy and sympathy so he can understand how does it feel to live a life of less fortunate who suffer every day or smth like that)

so he got immortal and that’d be the funniest thing on earth because he definitely thought about it as a blessing, not a curse. because now he can do stupid things and not worry about it because he’ll just get back to life. and it’d save him a lot of time, he’d be like uhhhh going from school is sooooo long i guess i’ll just kill myself to respawn at home.

and that kinda helps kenny because for the first time he starts seeing his immortality as something remooootely positive?

and kenman are a partners in crimes brotp in this au because you can’t tell me cartman wouldn’t use their powers to rob banks and punish those he dislikes. and kenny just has to keep looking after cartman so he doesn’t kill himself too often.

(btw cartman TOTALLY would get killed in front of the guys on purpose once and recorded it on a video because he wanted to know their reaction and then he saw kyle literally almost CRYING and it made him feel kind of guilty… but he expected everyone to forget his death, like they forgot kenny’s, and so did happen, with one minor exception – kyle remembered… heheheh i’ll definitely write something about kyman in this au later)

anyway cartman convinces kenny that they can make BIIIG money if they use their superpower to rob a bank. kenny didn’t want to tempt the fate at first, but then cartman told him how he could save his family with the money and kenny finally agreed.

they’d be like:

kenny: (Now we divide the money we stole in half, equally, right?)

cartman: Actually, I think I deserve 60%, Kenny.

kenny: (What?! How come?)

cartman: I died twice during the mission!

kenny: (THAT’S BECAUSE YOU SHOT YOURSELF FOR FUN AND I HAD TO WASTE TWO HOURS TO WAIT FOR YOUR RETURN.)

cartman: I suffered more!

kenny: (Give me the money, asshole! We had a deal!)

cartman: Ugh, fine, fine. Take it, Poor Kid. Buy your sister a fucking doll, for all I care☹️

kenny would waste more time on calming cartman down than on actually doing crimes on the missions come on, ‘cause mf risks his life constantly due to his immortality.

he would come to a bank employee and start insulting and teasing him, and kenny would have to pull cartman away until this stupid ass got shot again.

cartman to the security guard: Ha! Try and stab me! Stab me, you pussy!!!

kenny, standing behind him with a threatening look: Do not.

AND ALSO KYMAN IN THIS AU because kyle does not remember kenny’s deaths but he DOES remember cartman’s so drama drama drama

and if cartman was immortal and kyle found out about it he’d get like super overprotective, because he doesn’t want to lose cartman forever just because this stupid asshole doesn’t take anything seriously and thinks that dying is fun.

so yep it’s basically brotp!kenman and kyman crime au and it’s been rotting my brain for like hours and now i want to write a fucking slowburn fanfic for 100k words.

psst is it okay if I ask for some stutters headcanons that u have? need inspo and I get a lot of it from this blog <3

OMG SURE!!! THANKS!!!

mannn stutters is my second otp and i have so many thoughts on them!

first of all, this whole ship is about contrasts. the popular kid x weird kid, the generally normal x the fucked up, the one who tries to be straight so badly x the one who is obviously fruity, and so on, so on…

and i’ll write a whole post abt them and their dynamic a bit later, so for now here are some little headcanons

• stan is always the one to invite butters to hang out with their friends’ group. he’ll never admit it to kyle or cartman but he genuinely likes having butters around, and he’s the only one who feels that butters is an essential part of their group. while others may forget him all the time, stan is the only one to constantly keep butters in mind all the time, especially when they grow older.

• stan actually sees butters as the “light spot” in his life. he knows that butters is messed up and has a lot of mental issues, but the way butters is always so naïve and, well, not spoiled yet just makes stan, who is pretty cynical, want to care for him more. (remember the pandemic specials where they went to make a stuffed toy or smth? stan was self-projecting, of course, but i do believe he still cared about butters while doing all this)

• stan feels that butters is the only one who could relate to his sexuality crisis, somehow. he wouldn’t make fun of him or act aggressive, he’d just simply accepted the fact that, well, stan might be bi, and he wouldn’t make a big deal about it.

• they share the same taste in media. they listen to similar groups, they watch the same shows, and they both have this eternal love for music. sometimes they play their guitars together, and butters is the first one to be allowed to hear stan’s own music when they are teens.

• stan mostly doesn’t have any respect for his father, while butters is terrified of his, so stan helps butters with actually standing up for himself in front of his parents. sometimes (as teens) they can run away from their parents, the farm, the punishments and all their friends for a day, and just sit calmly next to each other and enjoy a free day

idk if thats enough, i’ll probably add smth more later!!!! hope i helped <3!!