For Some Reason I Enjoy So Much The Idea Of Kyle Actually Genuinely Liking Cartman’s Appearance. Like,

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piners keep winning

I'M WEAK. https://twitter.com/ToonHive/status/1712169927124103221

i love how stan marsh is canonically the biggest ally and closeted bi or gay in south park

sometimes i see how kyle is portrayed in the fandom and i dont understand why people decide to make kyle really inexperienced, shy, clumsy and timid 😭 likeeee it’s a very popular thing in the fandom but do you really think it’s the behaviour of an inexperienced shy uwu boi

especially when they make kyle so blushing around women when it is mostly stan who is shown to be like this (the whole “throwing up next to the girl he likes” thing yk)

i hc kyle being absolutely convinced women should love him because he’s attractive and smart meanwhile everyone’s sure he’s gay af😭😭 this exact way of his thinking was shown like multiple times in the show itself.

actually i think kyle’d be the only boy to actually be friends with most of the girls and get along with them? (so yeah shout out to kyle/wendy and kyle/heidi brosistp!!!!!)

this is a random compliment but i really like your blog colors and layout its very nice to look at

omggg thank you i smiled so much ‘cause of this message 😭😭

actually the layout was made by my precious gf @heshmmity <3 because i usually suck at this kind of things hehhehe

thanks once again🥺🥺

i have no idea if anyone remembers that kyman university au of mine but im still hyperfixating on it so just a smaaaall piece of a funny dialogue aka “everyone thinks kyle and cartman were dating”

***

"Dude, I'll beat you in every debate," Cartman chuckled smugly.

Kyle shook his head proudly, giving him a haughty look.

“You? Beating me? You must have forgotten that I was the head of the debate club at school”.

Cartman's eyes flashed with a predatory gleam, and he readily extended his hand to Broflovski, as if he had been waiting for that. The air between them seemed to sparkle with tension, and Kyle grabbed his palm defiantly.

"A bet, then?" Kyle nodded, and the audience – their classmates standing behind him — enthusiastically supported them.

“In case of loss, you suck my balls, Kaaahl”, Cartman smiled nastily, watching as Kyle nodded eagerly by inertia, and then, having realised the last remark, went furious, indignantly opening his mouth.

“What the fuck?! Do you think I'll fall for it again?”

The crowd behind him gasped in shock, and Kyle instantly blushed, turning to them in a mute attempt to defend himself. Rebecca squeaked "again?" in surprise, and Cartman, as if he knew that this would happen, sighed sympathetically:

“Oh, I’m sorry, Kyle... Sorry, guys, he doesn't really like to remember this episode of our life, you know?”

***

i LOVE that it’s pretty canon that because of kyle people usually think there’s something between him and cartman (“this two brave lovers…”, “oh, so you two are like this, huh?🤨” in the “Tonsil Trouble”) AND CARTMAN NEVER DENIES IT

i have a headcanon that all of cartman’s “first times” were with butters: first kiss, first sexual contact (as teens), first date attempts. because they both trusted each other and they both had sexuality and identity crisis, so they kinda… experimented with each other.

and even though kyle laughs when he just learns this fact of cartman’s life, after he finally starts dating cartman he can’t help but feel these jealousy and envy when eric mentions that “he has already tried that with butters”, and he’s very likely to subconsciously start disliking butters a little, because he just can’t let go of this thought of cartman and butters kissing or having an awkward date or something.

i understood i have a huge fucking hyperfixation on kyman when today while i was thinking about a kyman au in the shower i realised that i’m about to have a panic attack so i got out of the shower as quickly as possible to write down a short description of this au so i don’t forget it and then i just continued crying and shaking

man i’ve reeeeaaally abandoned my tumblr lately…………..

i am absolutely addicted to making crossovers between my current fandoms and south park

au about kyman entering the same university somewhere far away from south park, where not a single person knows what kind of reputation cartman had back in his native town.

so cartman decides it’s a chance for him to replay the game and change the way he is treated.

he acts nice, he makes wise decisions, he makes friends with those who can help him in future, he doesn’t break a single law and studies hard, he becomes a perfect version of eric cartman. and everyone falls for it, because he seems absolutely cool, funny and charismatic to them.

the only person who’s not buying it is kyle, who decides it’s his moral obligation to “expose” the true nature of eric cartman, so he tries to sabotage him in any way but fails every time eventually humiliating himself. by the end of the first term even the professors know that kyle broflovski is obsessed with fighting with cartman and most people assume that he’s either a simple fatphobic bully or is in love with cartman.

by that time kyle is considered to be a loser and is pretty much avoided by most of his peers meanwhile cartman is surrounded by people who love and admire him. so it happens that cartman is the only friend kyle’s got now hehe.

the whole first half of an au is basically kyle who’s trying to set cartman up so he can reveal his “evil side” but he ends up as an unbelievable piece of shit himself.

and kyle is pissed because how can’t anyone see the truth??

he complains about it to cartman because he doesnt have anyone else.

cartman, meeting kyle in the morning: Hey, so how will you try to set me up this time?

kyle: I am not “setting anyone up”. I simply want people to know the truth about who you really are.

cartman: Seem kinda obsessed with me, huh, Kahl?

kyle: Do not provoke me, Cartman.

cartman: I am not. Just… what’s the truth, tell me? Who am I, then? I seem to have forgotten it since everyone here thinks I’m great.

kyle, raising his voice: You’re an unbelievably psychotic fat ugly piece of shit and you do not deserve what you get, that’s who you are, you hear me, asshole?!

everyone in the class: …Woah, Broflovski. Nice job, jerk, now you made him upset. What’s even wrong with you?

cartman, raising voice so everyone hears him: Wow, Kyle, I guess you really haven’t changed since high school. And I was stupid enough to hope we could be friends here…

kyle, confused: Wait, that is not what… That’s… Fuck!! You planned it since the beginning, didn’t you?

imagine kyle who was DREAMING about his university life? he thought he’d be noticed because of how smart he is, he thought girls would love him because he’s intelligent and nice, he thought everything would be different. but instead his life was once again about cartman – and he couldn’t forgive him for ruining his life of dream.

kyle: Why on Earth would you do this? It was supposed to be the best year of my life, but you just had to show up and ruin everything!

cartman: I ruined everything?

kyle: Yes, you did! Why else would you go to the same university?!

cartman: I’m sorry, Kyle, I don’t quite get it. You think I went to this university just because of you? How highly do you think of yourself?

kyle: Why not? You’ve been obsessed with me the whole time!

cartman: I’m obsessed? Isn’t it you who devotes all his time in his first year of university trying to set me up? Tell me about being obsessed, Kyle!

kyle: What’s that supposed to mean?

cartman: I came here, to the university as far from South Park as possible, to start a new fucking page of my life without prejudice. Have you seen a single person here who would refer to me as “fatass” except for you?

kyle: Oh, don’t even start it with “fatphobic” shit, you can’t possibly be offended by this, that was just friendly bantering!

cartman: Was it? Was it, Kyle?

kyle: Well–

cartman: And even now that I’m here you still can’t let it go. You still can’t accept the tiny possibility that I might’ve changed. So you just have to go there and shout “hey, everyone, he’s a piece of shit, you should hate him with me”. Does that help your self-esteem?

kyle: I… ugh, I didn’t think it was like that…

cartman: I know you didn’t.