— Calling Them Pretty

still waiting for a book where the story is told from the main protagonist's pov but then is later revealed that the main protagonist was already deceased and the person telling the story the entire time was their close friend.

"Baby, don't be mad at me."

You hate it when Atsumu says that to you--and he says it often.

First of all, because it always precedes the admission of something that you have every right to be upset with him about.

And second, because you could never be mad at him--not really, anyway--no matter how egregious the offence.

You sigh, looking to the doorway where your boyfriend's voice originated from, only to find him standing, hunched forward and dripping wet from the rain that's been falling for the better part of the day outside.

"Not even a 'welcome home' before you start a fight, Tsumu?" you joke, quirking a brow at him as you shift under the plush throw blanket tucked over your lap as you sit on the couch. You set aside the book you'd been reading, your attention just on him.

Water drips from the ends of his bleached hair onto the floor at his feet, and he meets your gaze, sheepish and hopeful.

He shifts, straightening his posture ever so slightly, and your eyes drop down to his hands, clasped over his tummy.

Your breath hitches.

"I couldn't leave him out there in the rain."

Atsumu's jacket is unzipped to his sternum, but peeking out from beneath the sanctuary of his MSBY windbreaker a little white kitten is nestled against him--sopping wet and trembling from the cold.

"Oh," you breathe, stumbling to your feet and crossing the room towards them both.

The kitten is so impossibly small, just a baby, and clearly in need of a home.

You feel tears well in your eyes as you take in the way it huddles into the warm cotton of Tsumu's t-shirt, the way your boyfriend's hands cradle it like it's something precious.

"Can we keep him?" Tsumu asks, his voice cracking on the request, desperate for your approval.

"Of course we can," you say, your tone equally watery, as you reach out to run your finger tip softly across the bridge of the kitten's tiny pink nose.

You and Atsumu spend the rest of the evening cleaning the kitten up, scheduling a visit to the nearby vet, and sending Atsumu out into the storm again to get the essentials to tie you over until you can make it to an actual pet store--some wet food, some kitty litter, a cat-toy shaped like taiyaki that's almost bigger than the kitten itself (a necessity, Tsumu reasons with you later as he unpacks his purchases).

When Tsumu comes home again, he finds you on the couch again, a little ball of freshly bathed fluff curled up atop the throw blanket over your lap.

He drops his grocery bags at the door and beelines right to you.

"How's the baby?" he asks, crouching down beside the couch to admire the kitten while he snoozes.

"He's good, he stopped shaking a little while ago," you hum, watching how tenderly Atsumu grazes the little cat resting on your legs.

"He's gonna need a name ya know," Atsumu whispers, like he's scared to speak any louder and risk disturbing the peace of the little prince.

"Got any ideas?" you ask, reaching out to run your fingers through Atsumu's rain dampened hair. "You found him, it's only right for you to do the honours."

He leans in to your touch and smiles.

And that's how Miya Tofu came home.

Am I Nothing to You?

Haikyuu - Akaashi Keiji

Imagine Y/n getting into an accident that she had to be hospitalized, but it just happened to be when Akaashi was out of town due to work. I feel like these type of situation is when you get to see Akaashi not composed. You get to see Akaashi breaking down.

When this happens, Y/n will debate whether or not she should contact and inform Akaashi about her situation, but she decided to go against it since she didn't want to bother him. Also, it wasn't like she was dying, she should be released soon. She thought it wasn't a big deal.

However, her being silent doesn't mean that Akaashi won't be informed of her situation. She forgot about that part that she was shock when her door opened with a loud bang, revealing Akaashi who was out of breath.

"Keiji...?" Y/n called out his name in shock. "What are you doing here? How about work? How did you know I was here?"

When Akaashi looked up, Y/n bit her lips and looked away from him. She saw how he was at the verge of breaking down. She didn't mean to cause him any worries. She felt fine, so she didn't contact him, but apparently that wasn't the case.

"Why...?" Akaashi mumbled as he approached her.

When y/n looked at him hesitantly, he kneeled beside her bed and held her hands tightly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Y/n opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't really form any words as she didn't know what to say exactly. Should she be honest? Or should she apologize first?

At her hesitation, Akaashi's grip tightened. "Am I that unreliable? Am I nothing to you?"

"No, of course not!" Y/n said in a hurry. "I... I just... I'm sorry..."

At her apology, Akaashi let out a shaky breath before speaking. "Please... Do you know how I felt when I heard from someone else that you were in an accident? The fact that I wasn't there for you as soon as you woke up, it just broke my heart..."

"I'm sorry, Keiji..." Y/n said in a low voice. "I just didn't want to bother you since you were out of town and I felt fine, so I thought it wasn't significant."

"Everything about you is significant... So please, don't keep these things from me. Tell me..." Akaashi said with pleading voice. "I want to be there for you. To be able to support you, to be someone you can rely on. I want to be your pillar."

Y/n felt her eyes turning teary at his words as she nodded. At her actions, Akaashi sighed in relief before hugging her tightly.

But I feel like this somewhat might have traumatized Akaashi that he developed the habit to video call rather than messaging her since she can just lie through text. But he will still message her even more frequently to check up on her and tries not to go out of town, making sure he was beside her. At the same time, I feel like he will take care of her even more than he used to, keeping a hawk eye on her.

in the secluded land of the immortal shogun, the bakufu rules eternal. but what do mortals see of the eternity chased after by their god?

characters ☆ inazuma, nation of eternity

Royally In Love

Prince!Diluc x Commoner!Fem!Reader

Summary: Diluc Ragnvindr is the Crowned Prince of Mondstadt, you are just some random commoner. You two met when you were both just kids, him sneaking out of the castle to explore the city, he met you when you were crying on a branch of a tree, unable to get down. Things took a turn and apparently, you two had a thing for each other, you even took each others first kiss, he even invited you to be his date at the next gala in the Castle of Royals. You almost cried in front of so many people that night, thinking that everything between you was a lie, when he took another woman to dance with him.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

Your eyes followed the two form in the middle of the room, they were dancing together so elegant and mesmerizing. So perfect.

It's okay, it was just a dance, right? That would be the case, if the whole gala wasn't for just Diluc finding a betrothed, a bride.

To think that for weeks, you stressed about this night, what you were going to wear, how were you supposed to act, how are you gonna dance, all the proper etiquette you should know. You thought that maybe, maybe it was finally the day that Diluc would introduce you as his lover, you dreamed of that happening almost every night, giggling to yourself about how amazing that would be.

He invited you, his lover, to a ball where he finds a replacement for you.

Everyone in the ballroom was in awe of the pear, but you? You felt nothing but a pit in your stomach and bile in your throat.

But... you're not mad. Seeing Diluc and that woman together, she was so, so pretty, like a princess from a fairytale world. You already know you didn't stand a chance, maybe Diluc was just such a gentleman that he didn't want to hurt your feelings when you confessed to him. Maybe he felt nothing for you at all.

Everything was just a lie.

His promises, his love.

Maybe he just invited you so you could finally have a reality check and stop pestering him with your silly feelings.

You can't blame him though, he is royalty, you're not, you're probably not even half his standards.

Every second you were in that room, you felt even worse. Even if everything was a lie... your love, it was true.

Diluc was resting against a tree, you were in his arms, your back on his chest as you sit on his lap. "'Luc?" You called out for him.

He hummed as a reply, resting his head from the tree onto your shoulder. "Do you think that your family will accept me when they find out...?" You looked at the man resting his head on your shoulder, you've always been insecure that his family and the royal court will never accept their Crowned Prince to be dating a worthless commoner.

"..." He didn't have an answer, as always. You did ask that question a lot, waiting for the day that he finally gives you a proper answer. "That shouldn't matter." The prince whispered, cupping your right hand with his own before lifting it up to his lips and kissing the back of it.

But it does matter, though. Diluc will be King someday, and if he decides to marry you... you'll be his Queen, while the thought of that makes you feel all light headed and tingly, it also scares you that maybe when that happens, it'll be the end of your wonderful story.

He sensed the uneasiness within you. "Hey, no matter what. I'll always love you, alright?" Diluc's soft voice reassured you. "You'll always be my Queen."

It's time to leave.

You can't stay there any longer.

You look back at him and the woman, his hand on her waist, her's on his shoulder, their other hand intertwined with each other. They were dancing to such a beautiful melody too, everything looked so perfect at that moment.

As you were looking at your lover, his eyes lifted up to meet your own...

Instead of looking angry, sad, disappointed... you smiled at him. You smiled despite the obvious unshed tears in your eyes.

You smiled at him before getting up from your chair, looking down at your dress and smoothening it.

It is hard to love someone so different from you, that's what's on your mind as you walked to the door of the castle. But you know what... it's fine, you'll be fine, at least you were with the love of your life for a moment. You can't ask for more.

...

When Diluc's eyes looked into yours, his entire body begged him to just drop everything and run to you, bring you into his arms and whisper sweet nothings in your ear.

When you smiled at him, refusing to let your tears fall from your eyes, his heart ached like it was being stabbed with no remorse.

When you walked out, not even looking back, Diluc felt his world shatter into a million pieces, his heart doing the very same.

He didn't know. He didn't know what this gala was actually for. He thought that maybe you'd feel better if he started bringing you to events like these. He didn't mean to hurt you.

"Crowned Prince Diluc, it is such a pleasure to be at your presence like this." The woman in front of him spoke, yet the Prince's mind was clouded by you. "It is also such an honor to have a chance of being your betrothed." Diluc's mood soured even more at that, he didn't remember the woman's name.

No, you are his only one, his Queen, his future wife.

As the woman's hand snaked from his shoulder onto his neck, Diluc felt more disgusted of himself.

"You know when you just love someone so much that you don't ever see a future without them by your side and if you ever think about them leaving you, you suddenly feel so sad and heartbroken?" You had asked him as he sits on your couch, watching you as you continue on with your knitting.

"That sounds very specific." The redhead rested his head on the couch backrest, smiling whilst looking at you like the lovestruck Prince he is.

"Yeah, that's exactly what I feel about you!" You exclaimed at him, making him chuckle.

"You don't ever need to worry about me leaving you, my Queen. I'll always be here."

He couldn't take it anymore.

Letting go of the woman and front of him, Diluc marched to the entrance of the castle, everyone getting out of his way immediately.

"Diluc, where are you going?!" He heard his father's angry voice behind him. The ballroom was dead quiet as the visitors watch the scene.

His whole body was tensed as he looked back at his father. "I can't do this." He shook his head. "I can't let you choose a bride for me, father. I already know who I want to be with for the rest of my life." His jaw was clenched and his hands were closed tight in frustration.

"As a royal, you are expected to give sacrifices for your kingdom! It makes me question if you're even deserving of the crown!" Diluc didn't mind his father's harsh words, all that's in his mind is how he should go to you right now.

"Father, I assure you that Diluc is perfectly capable of running the kingdom without the help of any other royalties within this room." Kaeya's cold voice rings throughout the ballroom, his words starting a commotion within the crowd.

"Watch what you're saying, Cavalry Captain." The blue-haired man ignored the King's disapproving gesture, looking at his sworn brother.

"Go. I talked to her earlier, it's gonna take some time to talk it through, but you should be good." Kaeya had encouraged him to leave, to go to you. Diluc nodded at him thankfully, turning his heel and running out of the castle in full force, even leaving a small trail of pyro on his path.

The Cavalry Captain looked around, chuckling smugly. "Worry not, visitors. The party should just continue even without the Crowned Prince." With that, he walked away, fashionably as always.

~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~•~

You ignored the rapid knocks at your door, still struggling to remove all the bobby pins that Lisa had styled your hair with.

Of course, a part of you wanted to open the door and hear what he has to say, but apparently you just wanted to be petty.

"Y/N?!" You hear Diluc yell from outside. And a second later, you hear the door crash down.

Immediately, you ran out of your room, looking at what happened. Diluc stood in front of you, your door bended into the wall after he forced it open.

"Are you insane?!"

"Y/N..." He walked to you with anticipation, pulling your body to his and wrapping his arms around your figure.

You pushed him off you right as he did that, "Why are you here?" You really thought that at when you locked eyes with him back at the gala, that would be the last time you'll see each other.

He didn't answer, his hands finding their way on your cheeks.

With an angry expression, you grabbed his wrist and yanked his hands off your face. "Diluc!"

"I..." The prince looked at you with gentleness. "I didn't know that any of that was gonna happen."

"Well, it happened. If that's all, you could just fix my door and go back." You were dismissive, wanting to end the conversation quickly. Probably because just being with him now gives you the urge to just break down into tears and cry in his arms.

Diluc held onto your hands, like he's scared that you'll push him away. "This night... I wanted to finally show you off."

"I wanted to make you feel special, and... I wanted to give you this." He stuck his hand in his pocket, fishing out a small box. He lifted it up for you to see. You looked down at the small box, then looked back up at him, slightly unbelieving. His face encouraged you to open it.

Opening the small box, you saw a ring, embedded with a tiny fiery red crystal, wavy golden lines surrounded the crystal. It was beautiful.

"I am so, so sure that I want to spend the rest of my life with you. And I thought that maybe, I could give it to you at the gala..." Diluc's voice died down as you closed the box, handing it back to him. His eyed dropped down onto your hand, as his heart seemed to burn in agony.

He refused to take the box back from you.

"Diluc, don't you see? They don't accept me, they don't accept us! We should be thankful that this happened, we're finally knocked out from our delusion that we could ever be together." He shook his head at your words, pulling your closer to him and instantly pressing your lips together.

You were in shock as he kissed you, his hands wrapping around your waist when you pressed your hands on his chest.

After a few seconds, you pulled away from him, his lips still chasing after yours. "My Y/N would never say that." Diluc had pecked your lips again.

"She would never call it quits." Another kiss.

"Maybe your Y/N changed?" He kissed you again right after you say that.

"It's okay to give up sometimes..." You say, but he shook his head again.

"Then... why are you crying?" Right after he pointed it out, you felt the tears thar managed to escape your eyes without your notice. Immediately, you pull away from his arms and wipe your face with your wrists.

"I... I didn't like seeing you with s-someone else." You start to stutter, feeling pathetic that despite your whole argument, you still feel the love for him.

"I didn't like being with someone else too."

"..."

You looked back down at the box in your hand, sighing a bit. "I don't know what to do anymore." You whispered, opening the box again to see the ring.

"How about..." His hands slowly took the ring from the box, taking your hand in his. "You answer this question."

"Will you marry me?" You chuckled a bit, guessing what he was about to say.

"No, that's not it..." He got down on one knee.

"Y/N, will you suffer through life with me for the rest of eternity and officially be my one and only Queen?" You laughed at that. Life is definitely happiness mixed with a whole lot of suffering.

"You know what? Sure." Diluc smiled as he kissed your hand, before slipping the golden ring onto your ring finger.

You pulled him up, kissing him immediately. "You still have to fix my door though." You hear him chuckle.

"Of course."

FINDING LOVE LETTERS ON YOUR DESK.

▹ featuring eijirou and denki. happy almost valentine’s <3

it’s all smiles with eijirou until his gaze lands on the neatly folded letter placed on your desk, the corners of his lips falling just in the slightest. his spirits sink when he hears your hushed gasp behind him, scooting past him to pick up the envelope. it’s not long before your friends crowd around you, tittering over the anonymous confession.

the flowers hidden in his bag seem to wither away with each giggle that leaves the cluster surrounding your newfound admirer, the sound of paper ripping open to peer inside like nails on a chalkboard to his ears. and he feels the sudden want to wish for the earth to swallow him while when one of your companions start to read the letter out, whistling and cheers filling the air soon after.

“this was sweet and so thought out,” you begin after a moment, folding the letter back up and placing it inside the envelope, “but i already have a valentine. he’s really special to me, you know. always has been.”

eijirou perks up when your gaze meets his, the crowd parting to let you through while he fishes the beautifully wrapped bouquet out of his bag to present to you. a grin as bright as the sun spreads across his lips when he offers it to you, and this time, the cheers that follow suit only serve to lift his heart up.

the letter is snatched from your desk with the precision of an undercover agent by your beloved boyfriend, brows furrowed in disbelief - and nearly comical offense. denki turns the letter over in search for a name, anything he could place to a face… but to no avail.

he shakes the offending envelope, somehow expressing even more disbelief, and sputters out a, “you got a letter! a letter!”

“are you going to let me read it?” your question makes him snap towards your voice and your laughter is just barely stifled, arms crossed over your chest in amusement.

“no! or— well.” the blond pauses as a influx of embarrassment courses through him, setting the letter back down and averting your gaze with a pout. “it’s meant for you, i guess…”

grinning faintly, your arms move to cup his face, pulling different faces from him until a few giggles manages to slip from him.

“don’t want to,” you declare with finality, smiling when his hands move to rest at your waist. “not when i’ve already got what i wanted for valentine’s day.”

and the smile denki gives you is worth more than any handwritten letter.

thanks for reading ☕️ reblogs are appreciated <3

* ੈ✩‧₊* you fell first, but bakugo katsuki fell harder

notes: pls idk what this is ive literally never written anyth like this but ive always wanted to write a fic w/ this prompt,, also im thinking of doing an angst version of this 🤩

genre: fluff, lovesick bakugo + reader flirts w/ him a lot, childhood friends to lovers, tw: BARELY PROOFREAD ‼️

bakugo katsuki doesn't know anyone who annoys him more than you do.

he doesn't believe he's gotten this far in one piece when he's been stuck with someone like you since childhood. there's something infuriating about the way you tug on the strap of his school bag when both you and his mother are insisting that you walk to school together in the morning. it's even more infuriating when he doesn't know what in the world is fluttering in his chest and churning in his stomach when you start tugging on his sleeve instead.

bakugo katsuki has no idea why and when exactly he started doing it, but now his blood boils watching that dorky smile on your face while he carries your bag to school every morning and on the way home too.

"katsuki." you playfully bump your shoulder against his arm and grin, "you love me, don't you?"

"i'm doing this 'cuz you look like a fucking camel with this bulky ass bag of yours." he scowls, trying to ignore the tiny, tingling spark he felt on the fleck of his skin that met yours for a single second. "what hell is even in this, rocks?"

"is your back hurting? let me give you a back massage then. c'mon, take off your shirt and lie down."

he grimaces, a flush of scarlet spreading from his cheeks to the tip of his ears.

"what?" you chuckle. "you know we've seen each other naked before, right? remember when we used to take baths together as children? i even let you touch my-"

"shut the fuck up, l/n."

it's maddening how easily you fluster him, like it's your second nature. a teasing remark and a single wink, and he's all over the place. all he can do is click his tongue and walk straight ahead of you (though occasionally looking back if you're still with him)

bakugo katsuki tries to counter your flirty remarks. he can do better, he swears he can. a multitude of emotions takes over him when he sees a sliver of your underwear peeking through your clothes. his cheeks flush and his nails bury into his palmsー partly from the thoughts racing relentlessly in his head, and partly out of wrath for anyone who would dare to ogle you or loudly point it out to the whole room.

he stands protectively close behind you like a guard dog, obstructing anyone even a glimpse. he speaks in a low voice you didn't know he was even capable of, his breath grazing your skin. "oi. nice underwear." once again, he's annoyed to the brim hearing that faint tremble in his words.

he's relieved and all the same, flustered, watching you realize and immediately fumbling with your clothes, but no matter how many attempts, no matter how much he swears he can be a match to you and your teasing nature,

"nice? i'll let you borrow if you like it that much then."

you are the only losing game bakugo katsuki has ever been in.

what annoys him even more is that for some reason, he's able to bare his soul to you, in spite of the sheer ugliness, the plain cruelty of it, and the pathetic, endless heaps of insecurities overflowing from him.

he presses his palms against his face in a futile attempt to muffle out his angry sobs. you brush a hand over his heaving shoulder, "it's gonna be okay, katsuki. i promise." when he doesn't flinch nor pulls away, you gently coax him into a light embrace, your torsos barely touching yet emitting such intoxicating and soothing heat onto each other.

"the fuck are you crying for?" he snaps, confused and concerned as to why you're suddenly sniffling with him.

"i know, it's stupid." you hug him tighter. "i swear i'm not making this about me. i justー i wish i knew how to make you feel better."

'annoying,' he thinks as he hugs your waist and buries his tear-stained face into the crook of your neck. "i'm going to kill you if you tease me about this tomorrow, l/n."

"hey, i don't do that." you whisper comfortingly despite the threat. "you know i won't."

he knows you won't.

most of all, it gets on bakugo katsuki's nerves the most when he remembers you've had genuine, actual romantic feelings for him since you were children, and it's not just fickle banter and incessant flirting here and there.

"shit. your fever's still high." he mutters, pressing his large palm on your forehead. it astounds both of you how it almost covers your whole face. mindlessly, he shifts his palm sweetly to your cheek, tucking in any stray hair out of your face. what in the world have you done to have him wrapped around your little finger like this? you have him buying you medicine and checking your temperature with concern, feeding you food he cooked specially for your taste, and holding your perfect little hand just because you asked him to.

"thanks for taking care of me, katsuki."

"you're a pain in the ass, l/n."

katsuki anticipates another joke or a flirty remarkー something about ass most likely, but then you look up at him, widely staring, and you speak in the steadiest voice you could muster, "am i really?"

he doesn't answer.

"can i tell you something?" you continue. there's a pang in katsuki's chest when you slide your hands off of his. "i like you, katsuki. i still do after all these yearsー"

"shut up. that's your fever talking"

"no, this is just me talking. even if i wake up tomorrow and don't remember anything i said to you today, i'll probably end up saying the same thing again someday, and my feelings won't have changed at all."

steering clear of your eyes, katsuki starts rearranging the stacks of medicine on your nightstand and adjusting your blanket when your frail hand latches onto his wrist.

"i just need to know if you're actually uncomfortable with me or if i have absolutely no chance at all, then i'll stop. i'll distance myself from you even. if that's what you want."

he would never forgive you nor himself for it.

you laugh weakly and continue, "and then maybe i'll just date todoroki or somethingー"

"fuck it." he hisses. he swings the blanket over your face so he won't have to bear your gaping eyes when he spits out, "dumbass, i do like you. don't ever do that, jesus."

there's half a minute of silence between you, him still distraught over the mere image of you and todoroki, and you still buried in the blanket, sinking everything in. you pull the sheet slowly until your eyes peek out. it's unbelievely annoying, again, how fucking adorable you are, katsuki thinks.

"you do? since when?" you ask in a tiny voice that will echo in his mind for the rest of the day, he knows it.

"does it matter?"

"no?" you pull the blanket over yourself again.

and then another minute of agonizing silence.

"katsuki?"

"what? you need anything?"

"yeah. kind of."

"what is it?" he starts to panic a little, "tell me." your fever completely slipping his mind in the heat of the moment.

"can you tell me you like me again when i get better? i have a feeling i'll remember this is a fever dream, then i won't stop talking about it to you, and it'll be so embarrassing."

his mouth quirks up into a smirk. "how about this," he pulls the blanket off you and leans slowly, your cheeks flushing even hotter. he brushes his hand against your forehead and gently presses a kiss, his heart in shambles when he catches brief sight of you shutting your eyes tight. "i like you."

you open them again to see a devilish smirk on his face, except it's noticeably much softer than the usual one he wears. he kisses your cheek next, inhaling your scent as he presses his lips against your warm skin, "i like you."

you're a whole mess now. it's the feverish heat spreading across your cheeks as his hand makes its way to yours under the blanket, the close proximity of bakugo katsuki, his scent, the immense heat that gets you dazed and hitches your breath when he props his forehead onto yours. it's the years of closeness and familiarity you've always shared with him, now blooming into something more, like a flower that has just learned to face the sun and bask in the sweet, easy morning air.

"i like you." he says again. maybe he is a match for you after all. "if it's the only way to shut you up. i'll tell it over and over again."

you fell first. bakugo katsuki fell harder, much harder. seeing you escape under the blanket again and squealing when he tries to pull it back down, he doesn't remember what is it that he found so terrifying in falling in love with you.

it's you, after all, isn't it? the most annoying little shit he's always loved.

ONLY FOOLS FALL FOR YOU. ( alhaitham x reader )

╰┈➤ some feelings came to haunt you after ten years since the last time you saw him.

pairings — alhaitham x fem!reader.

warnings — rivals / enemies to lover ish, slow burn, reader and alhaitham are in their middle twenties, reader has a pyro vision and is also a dancer and actress, reader is also the daughter of a genshin character, angst and a bit of fluff (happy ending of course but they're idiots in love).

word count — 8.1k

notes — june is back with another long fic for genshin! this one was supposed to be posted ages ago but i only had the time to do it now. i hope you guys will enjoy! reblogs and feedbacks are appreacited <3

lesser lord kusanali was a forbidden matter in your house, but you were sure she was the one who pushed you to be what you were today. 

being the daughter of the newest sage in sumeru had its perks, but you hated it. you hated the expectations everyone put on yourself, of how you should follow in your father’s footsteps and join the akademiya — everyone was sure you already had your vacancy there, with how important your father became in such a few moments after his promotion as a sage. but you never cared for scholar subjects, not in the way your two childhood friends did. 

alhaitham and kaveh had different interests, but they could enroll in the akademiya with no problem, because their line of study was actually respected by the sages and other scholars. yours, on the other hand, was looked down on and made fun of by every single one of your father’s, and him too, friends. as much as you tried not to look crestfallen when you heard them talking about the performers of the grand bazaar, alhaitham’s hand always managed to find yours when he was present in such gatherings — and you hoped that, when he wasn’t around, nobody would notice the change in your behavior. 

the arts were what called you: music, dancing, acting.

you could see yourself becoming a performer at the grand bazaar, dancing and acting for the honor of the dendro archon. the applause and excited screams of the audience were what you wanted to pursue, and not false wishes and the quietness of the akademiya. you thrived when alhaitham and kaveh, albeit forced by you, watched your makeshift plays about the archons and the dances you created in your head. you were aware they pitied you — kaveh with his dreams of being an architect and alhaitham’s love for all kinds of knowledge were much more suitable for sumeru city than your passions for the arts. 

that’s why you never expected them to support you in your decision of going against your father’s wishes to join the akademiya, and running away to the grand bazaar to join a theater troupe at the age of fifteen, inspired by a dream you had with the archon of your nation. 

it has been almost ten years, but you still remembered your father’s harsh words as if it had happened just yesterday — of how much of a disappointment you were for the family, how he would be able to explain to his peers and your future master that you decided to throw away the bright future it has been given to you, how ungrateful you were and how other people wished they were on your shoes. your mother remained quiet the whole time, but you never expected her support, too. she always agreed with everything your father used to say, almost brainwashed by the luxuries he displayed in front of her. in a way, she was, and the disappointed looks on their faces weren’t hurtful or a surprise for you. 

although, what hurt the most was alhaitham’s reaction. 

you had feelings from him ever since you knew what romantic love was, but they could never blossom into something more now, that you planned to run away from your home and probably never see your friends and family again. 

kaveh was aware of this too, being your confidant and best friend, trying to persuade you to not give up on everything — alhaitham and the akademiya, but you couldn’t pretend happiness in doing something you hated just because of feelings you didn’t even know if it was reciprocated. if alhaitham really liked you, he would respect your wishes and want your happiness before anything else.

it seemed like he didn’t, having the same reaction as your father — but his words were the ones who brought you to tears, his voice harsher and colder than you’ve ever heard growing up at his side, breaking your heart and cutting your skin like the blade he used to train. you almost gave up on your convictions and stayed in your home and went to the akademiya like your father wished, just to see him looking down at you with anything but the hatred dancing in his eyes. 

but you could not. not when lesser lord kusanali appeared to you in a dream, only to tell you to follow your dreams. you could not turn your back against your god and not do what she wished — she was the god of wisdom, and you trusted her judgment. 

and that’s why you turned your back to him, running away from your feelings for him and burying them in the deepest part of your heart. though, from time to time, you wondered what happened to him — did he and kaveh become scholars and follow their dreams just like yourself? how was the akademiya treating them? were they happy? had alhaitham found someone he loved more than his books? 

you knew such an answer would break your heart even more, but the agony of not knowing was much more worse. 

the grand bazaar welcomed you as if you were a lost daughter returning home after many years, and the zubayr theater became your new family. you were finally at the place you were destined to be, doing what you loved — captivating the audience with your movements and expression, bringing the toughest of men to his knees in broken sobs by your performances. the stage for you was like the library to the scholars of the akademiya, and you learned more and more every day you performed. 

you weren't alone there, having the company of nilou, your fellow dancer and actress who shared the same passion for the arts and love for the dendro archon, and, despite the age difference between the both of you, you two become fast friends — more than friends you came to notice one day, because the younger girl became like a little sister to you in just a few months of knowing each other. and you couldn’t be happier by following the words of lesser lord kusanali, thanking her every day for whispering her wisdom for you in your dreams. 

your days were spent rehearsing and performing, sometimes helping the merchants in the grand bazaar and planning more and more plays with your peers of the zubayr theater. it was like an act of resistance, almost, the performances you did — the people of sumeru were fond of the troupe’s plays, especially the children, and seeing the disapproval looks of the scholars were your fuel to not stop. 

it was supposed to be one of those days for you. a dance performance was scheduled in the treasures street, always buzzing with people due to its stalls and merchants, but today was different — you received the intel that a bunch of scholars would be wandering the area, probably for a case study of whatever the akademiya was planning. it was the perfect opportunity to show those arrogant scholars at least a glimpse of the wonders of the performing arts, and you couldn’t help but dress like greater lord rukkhadevata was described in the records you remembered reading as a child, just to spite the scholars even more.

probably for a case study of whatever the akademiya was planning. it was the perfect opportunity to show those arrogant scholars at least a glimpse of the wonders of the performing arts, and you couldn’t help but dress like greater lord rukkhadevata was described in the records you remembered reading as a child, just to spite the scholars even more. 

you winked at your musician, a teenage boy who held the same spite for the akademiya you did, starting your movements as soon as the sounds of the flute reached your ears. the flowing white sleeves and your long white and green skirt created a beautiful sight alongside the choreography nilou helped you to come up with, and the crowd’s cheers and boos didn’t reach your ears. whenever you were dancing, the outside world was shut down, your senses completely enveloped by the surrounding music. you moved as if you were made of water, a delicacy never seen before in the way your body spins. 

your eyes were kept close, as you didn’t wish for an unpleasant view to take your focus away. performing in the open was more difficult than in the grand bazaar — people there, at least, were also enjoyers of the arts. however, you couldn’t just ignore the call to show more people how the arts were a form of wisdom, too. 

the music ended, as well as your dance, and you bowed gracefully while opening your eyes to scan the crowd, the boos louder than anything else. but what was supposed to be a swift escape from the scholars and a few guards your vision managed to spot, was cut by a strong hold in your arm, dragging you away from your makeshift stage. too shocked to do anything else, you let yourself be pulled away from the crowd of scholars, their screams now louder that you were in the middle of them.

“take away this scum from our city, scribe!” 

your eyes, that were cast down to your feet, widened at such words. scribe was the title your father had before he became a sage, and, even though it didn’t make sense being him the one who was dragging you, your heart still raced with fear. though, when you had enough courage to look properly at your captor when you were a few meters away from the scholars, it was someone who you never thought of seeing again. 

those blue eyes, shining with the same rage it shone years ago, still haunted your dreams whenever you closed your eyes. 

“let go of me, alhaitham!” you managed to say, besides the lump in your throat. 

it was strange to see him, almost ten years after you left your house. alhaitham changed, of course — he was taller and more muscular, and his face was more sharp than it was before, now the face of an adult rather than a teenager’s one. his hair remained the same almost, only a bit shorter, but his eyes were still the ones you remembered from your childhood. you never forgot the exact shade of blue of them, of how the colors merged to create his pupils. they were mesmerizing, but it seemed that they would never look down at you with love on them once more.

“what were you thinking, y/n?” his voice was quiet but demanding, yet he didn't lose his composure, acting as if the rage in his words was nothing. “dancing in front of a crowd of people who hate the arts?” his grip on your arm tightened, and you couldn't find the same comfort you did as a teenager in his presence. 

you were angry, far angrier than you originally thought you would be if you saw him again, and sad — even though your heart still beat only for him. “i would have escaped, scribe. like i always did.” venom laced his new title, something so familiar yet foreign. it didn't suit him. he wasn't supposed to follow in your father's footsteps, as if he had replaced his own daughter with her friend. “i had a plan that was ruined by you.”

if the bitterness in your voice affected him, he didn't let it show on his face — but his grip around your arms softened, and you took that as your cue to get away from his touch. his presence alone was too intoxicating, clouding your senses and messing with your better judgment. 

little did you know, but you had the same effect on him. 

his closed fists weren't because of his rage, but from his urge to hold you between his arms once more — to feel your skin against his fingertips, to run his fingers in your hair and kiss your forehead, to hold you against his chest and tell you how many nights he was kept awake thinking about you. alhaitham was a coward and he was aware of it, knowing you were residing at the grand bazaar and not setting foot in the place, afraid of seeing you in the arms of another with no thought of yours being about him, like all of his were about you. 

“and what were you going to do? run away from all those scholars who were clearly offended by your choice of clothing?” he barked back, watching your eyes roll and your arms crossing on your chest. you were beautiful, wearing what the scholars believed were greater lord rukkhadevata's clothes back when she was alive. the color complimented your skin, and the flowing sleeves and skirts made your movements more graceful than alhaitham remembered them to be.

you scoffed. he was just like all the scholars you grew up to hate, arrogant and too confident in his abilities, and it hurt your heart to reach such a conclusion — that your first love was an akademiya scum. “i will not tell you.” you turned your back to him, starting to walk back to where you were, hoping that alhaitham would leave you alone to return home. but, the heavy sounds of his boots were your clue that he wouldn't leave you to your own company. “just let me return home.” you voice was quiet and full of hurt, small, just like alhaitham remembered it to be when your father would scold you. 

and he hated the fact that he was the one making you feel like that. 

however, he couldn't say sorry and leave you alone — he finally saw you after years of earning for such a meeting to happen and, even though he'd never admit that, he wanted to spend more time with you and know everything that happened in the years you were apart. he could always rely on the akasha to know such information, but things appearing on his mind would never have the same effect as hearing your voice. “you're defenseless. if your father knows that i didn't protect you, i'm a dead man by tomorrow morning.”

his words took you by surprise. “he made you promise this years ago. i'm sure that now he will be delighted if something happens to me.” you bit the inside of your cheeks to prevent the tears in your lashes from falling down, your head turned to the side so he couldn't see them. talking about your father was still a delicate subject for you — as much as you wanted to hate him for all the wrongs he said for you when you were fifteen, the loving and caring father that he was until that day arrived still plagued your thoughts. 

alhaitham shrugged. “i don’t care about him, i care about the promise i made, and i will not go back on my word.” you didn’t notice when you both stopped walking, but the gloved hand on your face, wiping the tears away while obligating you to look directly at his eyes, made your body be plagued by shivers and your cheeks to flush in a bright red color. 

he was the same alhaitham of your memories, wasn't he? the caring and kind, sometimes a bit too blunt, boy that you met alongside kaveh when you two were exploring the forest — his eyes were still the same, and even though they were now with different emotions than in the last time you saw them, his words still had the same painful effect they did once. did he still think that of you? that you were useless and a fool, that you had thrown away the brightest of futures to a life that wasn't worth it. your brows furrowed, and you got away from his grasp, missing the way his eyes shone with hurt at your rejection of his affection. 

but he would fight for you and he would gain your trust again, and alhaitham didn't care for the time this would take. he just wanted you back where you belonged — between his arms and in his life. 

— 

he stayed true to his word, even if you didn't know about them. all you knew was that he became a constant presence in all your performances, whenever they would be. he was the first person you saw when you opened your eyes after dancing in the honor of the dendro archon, the first person that congratulated you or the person who led you to safety when you decided to perform in front of scholars. 

it was annoying, at the beginning. alhaitham always had a critic to say, either being something about the music or the lighting — or even your partners in the performance, especially if they were men, saying that they didn't let you shine like he knew you could alone — but you knew that was his way of complimenting you. he has always been like that, too logical to know how to say a kind word instead of what you should do to make your performance better in the next time. it was almost endearing how he noticed the small details about your dance, like the way your hands moved or the sound your bracelets made when you clapped your hands. 

you both were from different worlds, but different worlds that completed each other in ways you never thought it would. the arts and the runes were almost like oil and water, but you and alhaitham made them mix it perfectly.

he also always made sure he was the one who left you at your room's door, perhaps to know that you were indeed safe, and you made the mistake of asking alhaitham if he wanted to come inside the third time he did that. 

it was already late in the night when your performance ended, that time at the the neighborhood with nilou, and you tried to argue with him that you didn't need his protection — everyone in the neighborhood knew who you are, and you knew how to fight and knew how to use your pyro vision to burn those who tried to harass you. and as much as he knew that, being the first victim of your vision, he still wanted you at his side. the question left your lips before you could think of it, the gossip that such an action would bring in the inn and in the grand bazaar long gone in your head. just like he wanted to make sure of your safety, you also wanted to make sure of his, too. 

you only had one bed, of course, you room enough only to fit one person living there. and as much as he tried to argue with you to let him sleep on the floor, you almost tied his wrists to your bed frame so he could sleep there, knowing that he wasn’t someone who slept much due to the nature of his job in the akademiya. but it seemed that your warmth was enough to make the akademiya's scribe to give up — you both fell asleep with a pillow between your bodies, but you woke up with his strong arms caging you to his chest and his face nuzzled in your neck. 

you didn’t dare to move, of course. you couldn’t know how alhaitham’s reaction to such an outcome would be, and the shallow breaths leaving his nostrils were proof enough that he was indeed awake, probably enjoying the few minutes of peace you and your house were granting him. you just nuzzled back on him, hearing him sighing and a pair of lips ghosting your cheek before his warmth left your bed. you only opened your eyes when you heard him moving around your small home. a few words were shared before he left to do his job, a small sandwich in his hands and the promise of seeing you again — though it took one week before that, in a setting that you wished was just a nightmare. 

—

zubayr theater had a performance scheduled in the grand bazaar, something that was proposed by you and nilou to bring attention to the place and help the merchants — every time a performance was announced in the city, all the eyes were directed to where it would be. children and women were always more open to the job you and your peers did, always enchanted by the dance moves and theatrics your troupe had to offer, while men and members of the akademiya always looked down with frowns whenever they attended one. you were still warming nilou to the fact that whenever the akademiya members didn’t like it, it meant you were in the right way. 

though, however, you never expected to see your father in the crowd. 

alhaitham stood proud at his side, though you could see that he was rather uncomfortable — in the short months you spent in his company again since you ran away, you learned what his lack of expression meant. it was just a mask you knew he developed in the years of studying in the akademiya, meant to deceive his peers into thinking that he was above them all, but you could see just by the way his eyes flicked to your form now and then that he wished he was anywhere but near your father. you didn’t know what prompted him to feel such discomfort, wondering if your father was now something more than just a sage in the akademiya, but you knew that you would never know.

you didn’t want to know. 

you just trying to ignore his presence in the crowd, his clothes as a sage almost in discrepancy inside the grand bazaar, focusing on the character you needed to portray — as always, the role of greater lord rukkhadevata belonged to you, while nilou was the goddess of flowers. it was a play about the birth of lesser lord kusanali, something that had always been wrapped in mystery to the common folk, and a great source for writers to romanticize and actors to give life to their plays. you were glad you were able to raise curiosity in the hearts of people about the birth of their god, though many of them were still disappointed with the new dendro archon’s lack of great doings. 

the performance ended with a round of applause by those who enjoyed it, and some looks of disapproval by those who did not. your eyes scanned the crowd until they found alhaitham’s, but the familiar soft and warm gaze he gave you whenever you ended a play wasn’t there — instead, you were met with cold and calculating eyes, and you didn’t know if he was behaving like that because of your father’s presence or if he finally was persuaded into seeing that you both were from different worlds and how bad it was. 

you tried not to be disappointed, nor make the pain in your heart be known by your colleagues, brushing nilou’s worried words with anxiousness — you gave a quick explanation about your father being in the crowd, and she seemed to buy it being the reason for the sadness in your eyes. 

after speaking with a few of your admirers, you excused yourself, feigning a bit of tiredness due to the preparations for the performance, smiling at the sight of the merchant’s tents filled with people — they weren’t many, but it was more than you were used to seeing every day. it was such small actions that made everything worthy of it, from running away from the safety of your family and the future your father chose for you to joining a theater troupe and changing your life in a way you only used to dream about, because you were sure you would never be able to help people if you were in the akademiya. 

you sighed, hearing rushed voices near your home. you didn’t want to spy on them, but as you recognized the voices to belong to your father and alhaitham, your curiosity took the best of you, hiding between a tree and some brushes. 

“i hope you are pleased with my job, grand sage.” 

that piqued your interest, hearing alhaitham calling your father by such a title, though your heart fell to your stomach. as much as you wanted to stay there and listen, something inside you told you to just run away and be ignorant — after all, ignorance was a blessing — because if you stayed, you would be heartbroken. 

the voice inside you proved to be right, alongside your father’s words.

“i am, indeed, pleased with your job, scribe alhaitham.” azar’s voice was just exactly how you remember it to be when you were growing up, authoritative and unkind. “it is good to get data about those performancers.” they weren’t so close but not too far, and you feared that if you did any abrupt movement your hiding spot would be found — but your fists clenched anyway, anger boiling in your blood by hearing such words. “especially my daughter. i do not want her to disturb any of the students with her foolish ideals. now, because of your help, we can stop her whenever she tries anything.” 

you tried not to let the tears that were pooling in your eyes to fall and give them the joy of making you cry after such knowledge, but the sadness inside you was stronger than any other resolution you had. alhaitham was just using you? all the time you two spent together, laughing and rebuilding your friendship, all the soft glances during late nights when he had accompanied you home, and hands brushing your cheek whenever he put a strand behind your ear while whispering goodnight — everything was just a lie for him? just a way for him to gather information about you and your peers to put on that damned akasha, for azar and the other sages to use against you and the other artists? 

and you had fallen for it like a puppy. 

you thought your childhood crush was something reciprocated, you really did, opening yourself to him like you did to no other man in your life. 

“i just did it to protect you.” 

his voice took you from your thoughts, your fists still clenched and your nails now draining blood from your palms. how could he? how could he lie so bluntly to you, feigning concern about you? “don’t try to excuse yourself, scribe.” you turned around to meet his eyes, finding them not like you thought they would be — emotionless and even with a bit of mockery shining on them, but they were hurt. 

because alhaitham never saw you looking so hurt and angry, not at himself. 

“i do not want to see you ever again.” 

you left him in the middle of the street with those words, his eyes following your shaking form until you were inside the safety of your house. alhaitham knew that you wouldn’t take his actions well, but he hoped you would never find out what he was doing — because he was, indeed, protecting you. if you did another performance near the akademiya, or near students that would report back to the sages, you would be exiled to the desert just like an insane scholar, and he wouldn’t be able to do anything to save you from such a horrible fate. 

he sighed, starting to walk back in the familiar way to the akademiya, his heart the heaviest since you left him when you were teenagers. 

maybe he just needed to give you some time for yourself, while he pondered what he could do to make you forgive him. 

—

one month. 

one month since you last saw alhaitham, and you wished you could say that his actions made you hate him — but it didn’t. 

it took you a few days to be able to dance and act again, though your eyes always scanned the crowd in search of him. he was never there, and as much as you were the one who said you didn’t want to see him again, you were disappointed. if he did have feelings for you, would he really give up on you like that? it was beyond frustrating what you were feeling, because you couldn’t understand him or his actions — he really thought you would be fine with him using you to gather information for the akademiya, even if it was to protect yourself from the archons’ know what? 

and now he just gave up. why wasn't he fighting for you? 

or maybe you were wrong, again. maybe he didn’t have feelings for you like you thought he did, and he was really just using you and all the little signals were just a play. if that was the truth, he was a better actor than most people you knew — better than yourself. you would never be able to pretend to have feelings for someone if it wasn’t in a play and you weren’t a character. 

as much as you tried to not let your feelings interfere with your everyday life, almost everyone in the grand bazaar noticed that something was wrong. nilou was the first one, the first to notice how puffy and red your eyes were from crying the whole night after the incident with your father and him. though you didn't have the courage to tell her what happened — after all, the dreamy eyes she had whenever you and alhaitham were around, perhaps imagining having a lover like him, didn't pass unnoticed by you — she still knew something happened between the two of you, always offering her support when you needed it. the others were mostly like her, though not as close to you to express their worry verbally. 

you lived your life the same it was before you met alhaitham after all those years, though it was harder now. before, his rejection to your young love was just a ghost, something that you would never know — now, however, it was a tangible thing, a bitter taste in your mouth whenever you still searched for his presence in your crowds. 

you would never learn that oil and water would never mix perfectly, just like you would never learn you and alhaitham would never have meant to be. 

that was what kept your shattered heart together, the glue holding all the pieces as thin as the air, and such a fact you came to know when kaveh visited you on a rainy day. you weren't expecting his visit, of course, the day uneventful due to the weather. you were teaching a bunch of little girls some of your favorite dance moves after they came to you when you spotted a tuft of blonde hair adorned with a blue feather and a pair of red eyes that you would always remember as warm. 

though kaveh's reappearance didn't shake you up like alhaitham's, his words were far more worrisome.

after a long awaited shared hug between two old friends and some pleasantries coming from both of your mouths, kaveh broke the news, his red eyes shining with a worry you never saw before in them — in fact, you did, on the day you ran away from your father. “i know something happened between you and alhaitham.” he started, his hands on your shoulders holding you at your place.

“kaveh…” you tried, not wanting to hear anything about him. what was kaveh going to say to you? that he was miserable and not himself, because of something he did? it wasn’t fair to you. 

he sighed, already in tune with your mannerisms again — you always said you two were platonic soulmates, knowing everything about each other from the top to bottom, being able to communicate with just your eyes. “i’m not here to play his advocate, far from it. i do not know what happened, as he did not tell me, but,” his grip on your shoulders tightened a bit, as if he was trying to prepare you for what was coming. “he was assigned a mission by the sages almost a month ago. a very dangerous one that i was against him going, you see, but the whole situation with you probably made him more prone to accept it. and…” 

“...and?” you heart was beating fast inside your rib cage, faster than you ever remembered it beating. a lot of scenarios were playing in your head, and all of them were worse than the other. 

“and he was severely injured.” the world around you was spinning, as if the air wasn’t enough to make the blood go to your lungs, making everything dizzy — but you could see the worry on his face. as much as kaveh pretended to hate alhaitham, you knew that deep down he cared about him, and vice-versa. “he is alright now, y/n, he’s being treated in the akademiya’s infirmary now.” you let out a breath you didn’t know you were holding, tears now glossing kaveh’s handsome features. 

“why are you telling me this?” such a question was eating you alive. you knew kaveh’s nature wasn’t a cruel one, but what he wanted to achieve with giving you this acknowledgement? 

“you’re still so impatient.” he chuckled, though it wasn’t filled with mirth like you remembered it to be. “alhaitham was probably going through some fever illusions and he… he kept calling in your name. in a pained way, saying that he couldn’t die before seeing you again.” you heart skipped a beat at your friend’s confession, even more tears glossing your vision now. alhaitham didn’t have this right, the right to break your heart and transform into dust and then made it whole again. 

you felt kaveh’s soft fingers caressing your cheeks, wiping the tears away, the beating of your heart more erratic than ever. “can i see him?” the question left your lips before you could think twice, the idea of him dying hurting more than your broken heart. 

kaveh laughed. “i was going to ask you that.” 

—

in the way to the akademiya, kaveh told you what happened. 

he narrated how he noticed something was off with alhaitham a day when he came back unexpectedly earlier to their house. he was used to finding his roommate with a permanent scowl on his face, but he seemed defeated — his scowl wasn’t the arrogant one that alhaitham always displayed on his face, but something akin to sadness and frustration. kaveh didn’t dare to ask what happened, already knowing what his friend was going to say, so he left the matter behind, deeming it to be problems in his job. during the week, alhaitham closed himself off in the house of daena, as if the books could cure whatever was making him so strange, until he came back home one day, gathering his essential things in a small bag and leaving for a confidential mission for the grand sage. 

kaveh only heard about alhaitham again two days ago, when he returned to their home bloodied and weak, and he took him to the infirmary — his wounds were more severely than kaveh thought they were, and while he was in the room to watch the amurta students taking care of him, he heard him muttering your name. 

“y/n… i can’t die… her… love… sorry… y/n…” those were the words kaveh told you alhaitham had whispered while he was in agony, probably delirious from either pain or fever. your heart broke even more knowing about this, your feet almost running straight to the infirmary, even though you didn’t know the way there — it wasn’t easy to sneak you in the akademiya, but the raining day meant that a lot of scholars weren’t lurking around, ready to see one of them with a performer from the grand bazaar, and you managed to infiltrate the place where all wisdom was created. 

kaveh led you to alhaitham’s room, in a wing full of patients who were labeled as having delicate cases, and you wondered what was the mission alhaitham agreed to go. did he went on it because he wanted, or because he was pressured to go? or he used this opportunity to forget about you, risking his life in the process? you couldn’t bear the idea of being the reason why he accepted such a dangerous mission and risked his life for nothing. 

but alhaitham was stubborn, and even if you asked, he would never tell you. 

parting ways with kaveh with a hug, you slowly entered the room your childhood friend was being treated in, careful to not make so much noise and awake him — kaveh told you he had been unconscious since he arrived, but you didn’t want to disturb him. what if he hated you now? what if he saw you as the culprit of the state he was in, and now was the one who didn’t want to see you? though his feverish words said otherwise, you were still nervous, like you felt whenever you were about to start a performance. 

the room was beautiful, just like everything in the akademiya, with a big window that you thought was supposed to make sunlight fill the room, and some medical instruments around it. but it was plain too, with white and green walls and a bed and some nightstand and a loveseat near the bed, probably for a companion. 

you made your way to the bed, your steps as light as a feather falling in the ground, afraid that you could awaken him and disturb his recovery. you just wanted to see him, see if he was well, and then leave — you didn’t know how your reaction would be if you saw him with open eyes, probably too overwhelming to see who just got away from lady death’s grasp.

alhiatham looked peaceful, you noticed as soon as you sat on the bed. 

he had no frown adorning his features, and he looked much more healthy than you thought he would — he wasn’t pale and his skin was glowing, even if his face had some small bruises which were decorating his handsome face with a tint of purple. he looked so young, just like the boy you had fallen in love while growing up, and it hurt. it hurt to see him like this and to think what your relationship became just because of the prejudice of your father and the scholars. 

you wanted nothing more than to caress his face and kiss his pain away and, before you could think straight, your fingers were already ghosting his cheekbones, going down to his lips and his bruises, feeling his warm skin underneath your fingertips and sighing contently feeling his breath tickling your skin. it was good to know that he was alive and well, and after making sure of that, you retracted your hand back to rest in your lap and knew you were ready to go back to the grand bazaar — would he come after you after his recovery? would he tell you what he was whispering in his agony? 

though, before you could leave his bed and the room, alhaitham’s hand grabbed yours, making a surprised gasp to leave your lips. 

“don’t go…” his voice was rough and raw, strange on his body after two days of not using it. “i do not know if this is a fever dream or not,” he opened his eyes, blinking it to make sure you weren’t a hallucination. “but don’t leave me again, y/n.” 

you smiled, a few tears going down on your cheeks. “i promise, alhaitham.” the hand that wasn’t intertwined with his cupped his cheek, and you leaned down to press a chaste kiss to his forehead. “go back to sleep, alright? i will be here when you wake up again.” 

he nodded, like a small child, closing his eyes again. 

—

alhaitham knew people from sumeru couldn’t dream, but why did your lips on his forehead felt so real? 

he groaned, the pain on his chest more than just a physical pain. it hurt to know that his brain and heart craved your presence so much that he dreamed about you — was the dendro archon giving him a bit of solace before he came to face the consequences of his actions? he knew he wasn’t supposed to fight a machine monster all by himself, even though he was strong enough to do so, but such a mechanical being wasn’t like the ones he faced before, and he needed to get that capsule of divine knowledge back. 

alhaitham thought that perhaps he could redeem himself in your eyes, if he managed to help sumeru and its people somehow.

he got the capsule back, but almost lost himself to it. he didn’t understand how he managed to arrive at his house before collapsing in pain and loss of blood, the journey home being filled with fever dreams of you and what could’ve happened between you both if he was more open about his feelings, if he wasn’t a coward and had fought for you. 

but now the past was in the past, and alhaitham couldn’t do anything to change. he could only bask in what his imagination could give him — the softness of your fingers on his face, the sweetest kiss of your lips and its warmth on his skin, the honey laced promise you made him. it would hurt more than any of his bruises the fact that he would wake up alone in such a cold room, with you being so far away from him. 

though the sound of footsteps gave him the idea he wasn’t alone. “close the curtains, kaveh, for the archon’s sake.” he muttered, turning around to not be graced with the sun rays on his face. 

the sound of a feminine giggle made him furrow his eyebrows, a sound so sweet that he was sure he was still in a fever dream — the last time he heard your giggles was a day before you discovered what he was doing, laughing at his complaints about kaveh. your smile and your laugh were his fuel to keep fighting that mechanical being, the idea of seeing you happy again enough for him to keep going. 

“if you want me to call kaveh, just say it.” you voice was laced with mirth, and a bit of concern, totally different from the cold and filled with rage tone you used the last time alhaitham saw you. it was almost comforting the way you seemed more at ease at his presence, though he knew he owed you an apology. 

he scoffed. “never.” he turned around once again, opening his eyes to find you sitting on the love seat near his bed. “hi.” he whispered while he watched you walking towards him, all the words dying on his throat at the sight of you. 

it was funny how he always had a witty remark to anything said to him, but never to you. your presence made his brain foggy and disoriented, all his thoughts revolving around you. he was just a useless star that couldn’t help but be attracted and circle around you, the sun, that gave warmth to everyone else. 

“hi.” you whispered back, your hands fumbling in your lap, as if you didn’t know what to do with them. “how are you feeling?” your voice had a tenderness that alhaitham knew he didn’t deserve coming from you. he’d never deserve your love or your kindness, something so pure and beautiful, even though you might think otherwise. 

he tried to chuckle, trying to ease the worry in your brow. “i’ve seen better days.” as much as he wanted to ask why and how you were there, alhaitham wasn’t brave enough to break the blissful bubble you both were in. he was afraid that his words would turn a switch inside you, that you would graze your eyes upon him with the same rage it was filled in the last time he saw you, that your fists would shake and your lip tremble with unshed tears — the love struck and kind look your eyes had was so much better than the fresh of you in his mind.

“i can imagine.” tentatively, you cupped his bruised cheek, fingers gently caressing his skin. he leaned into your touch, a relieved sigh leaving his lips at your display of affection — he was undeserving yes, but alhaitham was selfish and arrogant, and he would never back away from it. yet, the shadow of what happened and the questions from both of your hearts hovered above your forms. “i…” you seemed braver than him, trying to get the acknowledged that would soothe or break your heart even more, but alhaitham couldn’t let you be the one to start — he cut you by trying to get up, indulging your smaller hand on his, the bandages preventing your skin to touch, much to his chagrin. 

“let me speak first, y/n. i was the one at fault in the first place.” he watched as you nodded, body coming closer to him, your smell clouding his senses and the only thought in his head was kissing your lips until they were red and raw, seeing you beneath him with red cheeks and disheveled hair. “i know you do not believe me, but i was protecting you when giving information about your troupe to your father.” at the mention of the grand sage, your face became sour — though now more hurt than angered, and alhaitham knew such a change of feeling was good. “you were going to be exiled to the desert, my love.” the term of endearment didn’t go unnoticed by you, your cheeks becoming hot at the possessive form before it. 

you were his. 

“i was desperate. i had only found you after being an incognito in my life for almost ten years.” his grip on your hand tightened, and alhaitham sighed. “i’m not asking you to forgive me so easily, but do not look at me with that rage again.” he pleaded, bringing your hand to his mouth and kissing your knuckles, his warm lips caressing your skin as if he was worshiping a goddess. “my heart is yours to do whatever you want, and i will endure it, but don’t deny me seeing the love in your eyes be corrupted by such a horrible feeling.” 

alhaitham closed his eyes, taking your hand to rest over his chest, ready for your rejection. 

“why did you accept this mission?” your voice was quiet, and your words totally different from what his mind told him what they were going to be. “i thought… i thought you had only used me, alhaitham.” your reveal wasn’t a total surprise for him, because he knew his actions were misleading. 

“i guess i just wanted to forget what i made you feel.” he admitted, arms coming to wrap around you and bring your body to rest on his chest. it hurt, because his wounds were still fresh, but that was where you belonged. you fitted perfectly between his arms, your face hid in the warmth of his neck and his head resting above yours, your bodies almost melting into each other and becoming one. 

his arms tightened around your form when he felt your body shake and his neck wet by your tears. he didn’t try to pry, though his heart ached with your quiet sobs, but he knew you would talk when you were ready — the only thing he could offer now was physical comfort, and even though alhaitham thought he was the worst person to give any kind of comfort, but it was you. you always made his best traits to shine, and the worst ones to become less bad.

after some time, your sobs quieted down and your body stopped to shake, and your voice filled his ears. “you really hurt me, alhaitham.” you were using a scolding tone, as if he had done something bad but something redeemable. “i’ve been in love with you since we were children, and you doing that…” 

“you were in love with me since we were children?” his shocked voice made you giggle, your body adjusting so you were straddling him, hands cupping his cheeks and noses touching. alhaitham’s cheek were tinted with red, a sight that you never saw before but something so mesmerizing that you wanted it belonged to eternity — his eyes were lidded, pupils wide with a mix of love and lust, his hand gripping your hips to bring you even closer to you. 

another giggle left your lips when he kissed a spot near your lips. “for being the akademiya’s scribe, you’re a bit stupid, my beloved.” you managed to say before his lips were attacking yours, in a kiss that — even though it was delayed for ten years — was the testimony of his endless love for you. 

random cute things they do.

˖⁺ ✧ genre : sfw, fluff (?) ˖⁺ ✧ warning/s : none ˖⁺ ✧ ft : misc ˖⁺ ✧ a/n : someone save me from this insane woman

ʚ bokuto stops by the local playground on his daily morning jog. he likes to spend time with the children there - giving them a push on the swing, helping them down the pole, and catching them on the slide.

ʚ konoha steps on leaves, waiting for that one, loud crunch. although he has bumped his head one too many times, from being too focused on the ground and not looking where he’s going.

ʚ tsukishima always buys 2 pieces of bread when he goes to the store. the small bun is for him to snack on, and the baguette is for the ducks in the pond that he passes by on his way home.

ʚ atsumu and osamu have one thing in common; they like johnsons’ baby shampoo. the blonde twin says that it’s only because it makes his hair soft. the other admits that he likes how it smells.

ʚ ushijima types with his index finger. he holds his phone with the whole palm of his right hand, and slowly types away. tendou has tried to teach him how to type faster, but he only thanks him and says that it is “unnecessary information”.

ʚ iwaizumi is never late to watching any movie that involves Godzilla or King Kong. he grew up loving the former, only to become invested in the latter as well.

ʚ oikawa is terrified of alien abduction. the interest started off with the possibility of the existence of aliens, but now, it’s turned to a fear of being abducted in the middle of the night. iwaizumi ‘reassures’ him that “no creature, human or not, would want him.”

ʚ akaashi sometimes forgets to wear his glasses, and instead squints. it could’ve been beside him, or on his head - but nonetheless, he’s still forget.

ʚ tendou never turns off his notifications, even while sleeping. he doesn’t want to be late to the news if ever a friend needed him.

© solaxena : all rights reserved. do not edit, modify, repost, or claim my works as your own.

kiwi flavoured kisses丨sakusa kiyoomi

You’re overworked, typing away meticulously at your laptop, only stopping to rub the tiredness out of your eyes and apparently too absorbed to realise a very worried sakusa linger around you or pass you to the kitchen where he with furrowed brows sliced kiwi in perfectly identical shapes, just the way you like them.

He brings you the bowl of fruit, wordlessly pulling out a chair beside you. He pokes at a piece and brings the fork of kiwi to hover in front of your lips. You take the bite, eyes still on your laptop screen and immediately grimace, swivelling your head to him.

Okay- he’ll admit it, kiwis may not be your favourite fruit but at least they took your eyes off that screen for a damn minute.

“Yhu traythor,” you exclaim through a mouthful.

He finds a smile threatening to overtake his features, “quit complaining, you need to eat all your fruits,”

“Okay, mom,” you huff, filter and rationality dissipating from your speech due to exhaustion.

He doesn’t miss the twitch of your lips as you turn towards the screen once again. He brings another piece, looming over your mouth. Your lips draw into a thin line as you rear your head back, looking at the piece of green fruit with dread.

You turn to glance at him, “do I have to?”

“Yes,” he says in a tone that leaves no room for discussion.

You sigh, leaning into your chair, finally taking your hands off the keyboard of your laptop and sakusa mentally throws a hand up in victory.

You chew the fruit, face contorted in displeasure and sakusa snorts.

“Well, then how about you have a bite?” you offer a ghost of a smirk at your lips, he stills.

Did he mention that he isn’t too fond of the fruit either?

“No,” he says a touch too fast, you cock a brow.

You hold his gaze, eyes narrowed in an attempt to force him into submission and he needs to bite the inside of his cheek to prevent his lips from breaking out into a smile, a lovesick smile that is.

He rolls his eyes, sighing. “fine,” he grumbles before reaching for a bite.

He holds it in front of his mouth for a few moments, grimacing with furrowed brows before popping it in and the expression he made next was so rich that it ripped out a string of hearty giggles from your throat and despite the disgusting mix of sour and sweet on his tongue, he couldn’t help but think that it was worth it.

He reaches over to ruffle your hair, “that’s enough,”

You swat his hand away, smiling and he reaches to fix the strands he ruffled out of place.

You bat your eyelashes, “so does that mean I don’t have to eat them anymore?”

“No,”

You scoff, frowning as he continues, “you need the vitamin c,” he states.

“Excuse you but I have a very high vitamin c intake actually,”

“Oh yeah?” he cocks a brow, “name one thing you ate in the last 2 weeks that had vitamin c,”

Your lips snap shut before opening again, “and before you say anything no, strawberry ice cream does not count,”

Your lips snap shut again.

“Okay, fine” you sigh in defeat, laptop, long forgotten as you contemplate all the life decisions that got you to this point, that got you to the point where you had to eat kiwi.

You eye him as he digs through the bowl of kiwi, “stop searching for the largest piece!” you exclaim through a wide grin, playfully slapping the side of his arm.

He chuckles, shoulders shaking as he leans into the chair.

He’s more childish than he likes to think and frankly you knew what you were getting into when you married him.

You roll your eyes playfully before your lips curve in an easy grin accompanying the soft look in your eyes as you gaze at him fondly.

He forces another piece into your mouth, lips curved in an amused smile as your features contort in disgust. He’s clearly enjoying this.

You huff, mock hurt across your face as you fold your arms against your chest. “Sakusa kiyoomi, good husbands don’t find amusement in their partner’s pain,”

He shrugs before crossing one leg over the other, “I don’t know, guess I’m an amazing husband then,”

You grin, it’s wide and warm and blinds sakusa for a second.

“For fucks sake kiyoomi,” you giggle and it does inexplicable things to his chest, just as it did the first time.

“Come here,” he hums, reaching out to you. You graciously accept, nuzzling into his embrace.

He smiles into your hair, inhaling the soft scent of your shampoo. Your hands rest at his chest before you angle your face to his and with a grin exactly mirroring his, you lean in to capture his lips in a kiwi flavoured kiss.

And he remembers thinking to himself that maybe he never disliked the fruit after all.

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