pairing: oikawa tooru x reader w/c: 9.4k synopsis: the first time you meet him, he scowls. and then he cries right in front of you, and subconsciously, you keep wishing to see him again. oikawa tooru keeps you captivated and the more you get to know him, the faster you fall. a/n: finally finished this oikawa fic !! there's wayyy too much star imagery but like... oikawa is cute so it's okay <3
Everyone thinks it starts off with a bang, or with a whisper, or maybe even a laugh. When really, it starts off with a scowl.
He can't be serious, was the only thing you could've thought of the moment he entered your life.
The first time you meet Oikawa Tooru, you were 16 and full of caffeine. April weather at night couldn't be predicted and you should've brought a jacket. Midterm season sucked. Too many topics stuffed into an exam sheet with barely enough space for more than three lines of words. Too many things to revise and too little time. Too many subjects crammed into a limited number of days. Or maybe you were just bitter about being terrible at History.
Walking to your local convenience store, you let your eyes take a break from squinting so much. For a measly 30 minutes, you promised yourself not to think of Stalin and his stupid dictatorship and the pros and cons of his industrial revolution and- oh you've already arrived.
A hand comes up to rub your eyes sleepily, despite having just inhaled a can of instant coffee. You're so into browsing for a specific type of milkbread that you don't hear the little chime of the store's bell. When you spot the loaf you want, you go to reach for it, your hand almost grabs it when another hand topples onto yours.
The first time you meet Oikawa Tooru, he scowls at you. Actually scowls at you for trying to steal his milkbread, as he puts it. The frames of his glasses make his eyes look funky, you think. Or at least, you think you thought that in your head. Much to the boy's dismay, he heard you loud and clear and he reaches up to self-consciously toy with his glasses.
Quickly, you make use of him being distracted and snatch up the bread. However, he's quicker than you and grabs hold of its little plastic edge. Swiftly turning around, you try glaring at him with the little energy you have left in you. His hand stays on the loaf and so does yours and the two of you continue to stare- glare- at each other for God knows how long.
"Literally why can't you just grab another loaf of bread, pretty boy?"
It's you who speaks first, and yet you're a bit shocked that you broke the silence at all.
"Aw, you think I'm pretty?" The stranger croons, and using whatever critical thinking skills you have left, you tell him yeah, you're so good-looking and while his attention is diverted, you greedily seize the loaf of milkbread and scurry away to the counter.
The stranger gasps indignantly.
No, he actually inhales so loudly, you had to stop and do a double take. This boy- oh my God he's coming back for the bread. Mr. Stranger runs up to you and for a second you think this boy is about to start shouting. But that's not the case. What he does, is ten times worse, actually.
This random boy starts almost tearfully begging you to give him the bread. He's a head taller than you and here he is, pleading for some bread like some medieval peasant. Despite the emptiness of the store, you look around warily to see if anyone else is witnessing this pathetic man or if it's just your hallucination from a lack of sleep.
The pleas start coming out faster and faster and he literally looks like he's about to get on his knees in the middle of this old convenience store at 10p.m on a random Wednesday. It's testing your patience and your stubbornness is testing his and maybe that's why, at the same time, the two of you blurt out, "THIS LOAF HAS A SPECIAL ALIEN PRIZE STICKER!"
It's quiet after that and you're sure the poor underpaid employee is going to throw you both out the store if neither of you buys something in the next minute.
The cute stranger fucking pinches his nose, as if he's exasperated at you. He gives you a smile that doesn't quite reach his eyes and tells you, "Let's ask someone if they have extras, yeah?"
They, in fact, do not.
The stranger is devastated and you hurriedly buy the little loaf of milkbread before he tries to steal it away again. He ends up buying an alienless loaf of milkbread.
The two of you exit the store quietly, and just to spite him a little, you open your loaf and flash him the little green extra-terrestrial sticker with a toothy smile.
Suddenly, it's not funny anymore. Because this boy's eyes legitimately start to water and- yeah. This child starts crying in front of you, one hand rubbing his eyes and all. Crocodile tears. Tilting your head up towards the sky, your eyes bounce from one star to the other, individually asking them why this is happening to you.
With a sigh, you shove the stupid little sticker into the boy's other hand and beg him to stop crying, oh my God, before I start crying too.
The stranger looks at you tearfully and warbles out a watery thanks before smiling softly down at the sticker and safely pocketing it into his wallet.
You're about to bid him goodnight when he asks, "Listen, I know this might be weird and probably creepy because we just met but- do you mind if I walk you home? A teenage girl walking home alone doesn't sound like such a good idea, you know?"
"Well I got here all by myself. Plus, this is a safe neighbourhood. Also, if you walked me home, you'll know where I live and that's even more dangerous."
The stranger smiles, genuinely, this time. He's quite cute when he smiles like that. You wave your hand dismissively in his general direction, basically telling him to do whatever he wants. As you walk away, you hear the sound of his footsteps catching up with you and you stop until he's by your side.
The only things that can be heard are the crinkling of the plastic bags and the sound of your footsteps and his. It's a quiet walk home, with this tall boy following you. It's silent until he starts to talk to you. And then it was never silent again.
"Okay, but think about it. Just think about it for a bit. Like I know it's totally impossible but- the moon landing, yeah? Let's say it was faked but because extra-terrestrial life was present at the same time, they shapeshifted into humans to pretend it was real!"
For the past seven and a half minutes, that's all you two talk about. Aliens. You're not really into aliens at all, to be honest. You only wanted that sticker for a scrapbook page. Although, listening to this boy talk and hearing his voice and how it lingers with barely contained enthusiasm, you don't mind so much.
"Alright, I hear you. But why though? How would helping us prove that we landed on the moon, help the aliens?"
The boy scoffs at your question, like the answer was supposed to be obvious when he says, "Well, now we owe them a favour. That's how they'll start abducting us, one-by-one."
"Ah. I hope you're first."
He clicks his tongue in retaliation and you smile at him. The conversation ends when you tell him he's safely completed his mission, because you've been delivered to your doorstep. The boy bows dramatically and, in his head, he unconsciously remembers the route to your house. Force of habit, he figures.
The stranger looks at you. His eyes are glittering and you think he must've bewitched you when he asks for your name because you're happy to give it away without a second thought. Oikawa Tooru, you learn, plays volleyball for his school team and he wanted, no, he needed that sticker as a good luck charm. That's the last thing he tells you before waving goodbye to your retreating figure. Before he gets too far, you wish him good luck for his next game, loving the way the stars illuminate the slight redness on his cheeks. Ah well, back to studying.
⚝ ⚝ ⚝
The second time you meet Oikawa Tooru happens almost exactly the same way. It's late, but not as late as the first time you encountered him. The sky was freckled with little lights here and there and you were much happier this time around. No longer was it midterm season and though the exhaustion from a long day at school could clearly be seen on your face, you were much more relaxed than before.
Walking into the same convenience store, you reach for a single cup noodle and some chips. It's a lazy dinner night. As you go into another aisle to grab a loaf of milkbread, your eyes light up in surprise when you someone else's hand grabs the same one.
Oikawa Tooru looks at you, his face mirroring your reaction, and the two of you won't admit it but you've both been hoping to run into each other. With his hand still on the same loaf, you hope he'll be the bigger person this time.
"C'mon Oikawa, there isn't even an alien sticker in this one."
He sighs dramatically and lets go, letting you take it. "Well, I guess I do owe you for last time."
He smiles at you then, and it's only once he's grabbed another loaf for himself that you snap out of it. He's way too cute, you grouse internally. He's not wearing his spectacles this time, but he still looks just as attractive as the last time you saw him.
Once you two buy your stuff, he looks at you like he's about to say something but you beat him to it when you ask, "So are you walking home this time around too?"
Oikawa nods and you ask again, "Even though it's not late?"
"Yeah, even then."
Yeah, he's way too cute, you think again. And as you two walk home, you decide you want to find out more about him. So you ask him which school he goes to since apparently you see him around your neighbourhood but not in your school. He tells you his best friend (Iwaizumi, or Iwa-chan) lives around here and he always stops by the store before leaving his house, and that he lives further away.
When he walks ahead of you for a bit, you notice his school jacket with the print 'AOBA JOHSAI VBC' and you exclaim, "Ah! Aoba Johsai! I know that school, yeah, your volleyball team is really good!"
You know you hit the right spot when he grins like he's holding back his pride, because his team is really good. His eyes can't lie, he loves his team and he wants you to ask him more about it, even if you have minimal knowledge about volleyball.
Oikawa fiddles with the plastic bag he's holding and your eyes suddenly take note of how red and raw his palms look. Your nose scrunches in discomfort when you ask him softly, "Were you practising? At this hour?"
He looks away from you, eyes hardening for a moment when he replies, "Yeah. I have to."
"Well, that’s not healthy. You're going to overwork yourself and I think you're too pretty for that. What if you walk home one day and you're too tired to notice giant UFO above your head, huh?"
Oikawa softens at your rambling, mumbling out a yeah, you're right, and you don't see the way he looks at you because you're too busy rummaging through your bag to take something out. If you had looked up, you'd have seen the way his eyes gleamed at your words, the way he looked at you like you said everything he needed to hear that night.
Once you finally find what you're looking for, you wave the small tube of hand cream in his face happily. With boldness you didn't know you had in you, you rub the cream into his hands. Your palms massaging his much larger ones, getting the cream into every crack of his hands, down to his wrist.
You're so focused on making sure his hands are alright that you miss the way Oikawa is absolutely flustered to the max. He's blushing, even though he'll never admit to anyone. And then suddenly he realises you've stopped your motions, because his hands have decided to interlace with yours and now both of you are an absolute mess.
"Oh- oh my god, I'm so sorry!" Oikawa stutters and you can't help but smile cheekily at the way he stutters. You're so lost in the way he's being so shy that you don't even realise you've already made it home.
Oikawa scratches his cheek nervously and tells you he can't wait for the next convenience store meeting. When he's about to leave, you tell him good luck for his next game again, just like last time. And you say, "Goodnight, Oikawa Tooru," loving the way he says it back and you're glad the stars have charted this in their memory.
⚝ ⚝ ⚝
The third time you meet Oikawa, you don't actually meet him.
Of course, it happens in the same small convenience store. While walking through the aisles of the store, you catch a glimpse of that teal green jacket and brown fluffy hair that you'd recognise anywhere. Or at least you think you recognise.
Feeling cheeky, you go up to him and tap him on the shoulder, "Oikawa! Seems like the aliens led you to me again."
It is decidedly not Oikawa Tooru that turns around to look at you quizzically. Yahaba Shigeru feels slightly proud that someone mistook him for his captain. You, however, feel like dying right there and then. The awkwardness of the situation catches up with him and you start stuttering out apologies, trying to leave as fast as you can.
Yahaba smiles at you kindly and exits the store. From a distance you can hear him call out, "Oikawa," and you already know who to expect when the store bell jingles soon after.
Oikawa Tooru stands in front of you, breathless (flawless) and looking right at you. A stupid smirk makes his way across his face when he practically preens, "You really thought my sweet little junior was me?"
The sad face emoticon can be heard from the way he says that and you love the way he rolls his eyes when you tell him that he and Yahaba look identical from the back. Someone from outside calls his name and he looks back out at them before looking back at you.
"I'm afraid I can't walk you home this time. Though, I'm sure someone like you can make it back safely." And he waves at you, seemingly making his exit when he hesitantly turns around to face you again. It's not noticeable, not really, but his ears are slightly red when he walks closer to you and pulls out a pen from his pocket.
Oikawa's eyes meet yours and he reaches out to take your arm and starts scribbling something on your arm. Your eyebrows shoot up in surprise when you realise it's his number. Oikawa bites the inside of his cheek, his heart's racing but he tries to play it cool when he breathes, "Maybe now I won't have to use this store as an excuse to see you."
He leaves after capping the pen and you're still in absolute shock at the move he just pulled. You're also very impressed and even more endeared when you see his teammates slapping him on the back outside the store as they walk away. Glancing down at the mess of numbers, you can't hold back the grin that makes its way across your face.
Pulling out your phone, you input his number immediately. Setting his contact as 'cute alien guy 👽🏐', you send the first text to him, not shocked at all anymore when he replies two seconds later.
hello alien man HIIIII!!!!!!!!
⚝ ⚝ ⚝
Ever since the first time you texted him, you haven't stopped. Oikawa texts you during class, even though you don't always reply. He texts you during break and in between practise and you text him just as much too. He's practically your online best friend at this point. He knows all your gossip and you know all of his. Like:
this bitch in my chemistry class thinks she’s better than me >:// DO YOU WANT ME TO GET MAD DOG TO SPIKE A VOLLEYBALL INTO HER DUMB BUS SHAPED HEADASS?
Things start to progress between you and him soon. A month into texting, he tells you he has an upcoming game.
hey. i got a game coming up on like tuesday at 4 if you wanna come (((o(*°▽°*)o))) actually ykw i'm not even gonna deny it, i'd love if u came (⊙_⊙) FR?? yeah of course i'm coming!! stfu as if you didn't know i'd say yes right away
Oikawa sends another dumb emoticon afterwards and you won't tell him but you scream into your pillow in excitement. And he won't tell you but he yells in triumph so loud that his sister throws a volleyball at his head.
You don't expect to see so many fangirls for him when you make your way into the stands of the Aoba Johsai gym. There are practically infinite rows of girls whining out, "Oikawa!!!" and you kind of knew he was popular, but it's still so... jarring.
You push your way to the front of the stands but there's so many people crowding you that you doubt he sees you anyway. Quickly taking a picture of a peace sign with him in the background, you send him a text so he knows you're there. He won't see it anytime soon but you send it anyway, captioning it with rooting 4u!! if u lose the aliens won't take u >:O.
Your eyes widen in surprise when you see him walk to the bench to look at his phone. Oikawa smiles at his phone and he looks up you, his eyes catching yours and he grins and your breath catches in your throat because he saw you. And when his focus shifts back to the court, you're eternally glad that you're not standing opposite him because his eyes have a certain glint to them and it's then that you find out how menacing his grin can become. His opponents know it and you know it, that Oikawa Tooru can be absolutely fucking frightening when he wants to be, and you've never wanted anyone to win more in your life than now.
Oikawa Tooru takes a deep breath. He glances at his shoes, he lets the ball sink into his palm and he knows you won't believe it but he swears he can hear you over the crowd. He hears the whistle blow and he bounces the ball once, then twice, before running and flying. He's practically airborne, you swear it, and his jump serve makes a ricocheting noise so loud it bounces in your body. He wins the first point.
By the time the second set ends, in Aoba Johsai's favour, you're pretty sure you've lost your voice from how hard you've been cheering. You don't really care though, the only thought that consumes your mind is the fact that he won. Well, his team won.
Oikawa smiles as he wipes down his face, he saw the way his phone periodically lighted up throughout the match. You basically texted him as if you were the match's commentator. And if you stayed until the end, you'd have felt it yourself, the way his cheeks ached from laughing so hard.
Oikawa doesn't ask you why you walked home without him. He knows you know he'd want to celebrate with his teammates, but he wouldn't have minded if you wanted to be selfish. He wouldn't have minded if you wanted to join him. He wouldn't have minded if you wanted to monopolise him for a bit.
Before your eyes succumb to sleep that night, your phone lights up once and you fall asleep dreaming of one boy.
thanks 4 cheering me on. could hear you all the way from the stands to the court. only you (/^-^(^ ^*)/
What a player. There's no way he could hear you, the crowd was too loud for that. You reply with a simple '<3' anyway.
Ever since the first match, Oikawa tells you about every other match and even invites you randomly to hang out with him. You go and see him play whenever you're available, and you start to get more comfortable with his friends too.
The first time you meet his best friend, you can immediately tell that they hold each other together. Two sides of the same coin. And when Iwaizumi pays for your meal, you decide you like him even more. When Iwaizumi tells you all about Oikawa’s embarrassing childhood events, much to Oikawa’s whining and pleading not to, you decide that Iwaizumi is one of the best people you’ve ever met.
Oikawa slowly introduces you to his whole team once you and him have become proper friends. You meet Hanamaki and Matsukawa randomly on a cold night in a hotpot restaurant and you immediately decide they're your favorite in the group. That night, Oikawa fights everyone with his chopsticks, knocking his against theirs to let you get all the good meat.
Oikawa also finds out about your scrapbook and collects every sticker he sees for it. He peels off the sticker on his onigiri packets and tears off the stickers he finds on his classmate’s desks and pastes them on your arm whenever he’s with you. Your sticker collection grows a lot because of him, not that you’re complaining. And one time, you make the mistake of telling him that your class was going to have a karaoke party, to celebrate the end of a school year. And oh, what a coincidence, he shows up there as well with the entire seijoh team. They would never snitch on their captain but you know he planned all of it. That night, you and him do a duet of every single High School Musical song, fighting over who gets to be Troy and Gabriella.
⚝ ⚝ ⚝
It sneaks up on you. Brushing over your shoulders so lightly that you don't notice it until it happens; your third and final year.
It's one cold January night when your phone pings with an ominous text from Tooru (you call him that now). Your eyebrows furrow as you read his text and you laugh lightly at it.
coming over rn.
It's quite late but you're sure he's already outside of his house. Waiting for him, you sit on the steps outside your house. Rubbing you palms together and watching the way your breath floats in the air.
In a few minutes, you hear him before you see him. The pitter-patter of his footsteps as he jogs, the way his breath comes out harsh and ragged like he sprinted here (he did).
Above, the sky seems starless but you know they're there. They always are, whenever he's with you. Oikawa Tooru and the stars come in a package, you never see one without the other.
Anyway, here comes a freshly out of practice, out of breath and an absolutely elated looking Oikawa Tooru. The moment he sees you walking towards him, he starts running and then all you know is warmth and the way his arms are long enough to engulf you completely.
"I- I fucking made team captain. Coach just suddenly pulled me aside after practice and said they made me captain. Oh my God, they think- I'm the captain. Holy shit, I'm the fucking team captain."
Your eyes start to water at the way he sounds breathless. Not just because he ran all the way here but because he sounds like he's in disbelief. His voice, breathy and in awe, rings in your ears and you wonder why he sounded so unsure. As if everyone doesn't know how fucking hard he works, as if everyone doesn't know he deserves to be captain.
You're ecstatic for him. Your hands grip the back of his jacket so tightly that you're afraid it's going to tear. And when he pulls away, just far enough to look at your face, his eyes are shining and if you look close enough, you can see the moon reflected in its glassiness.
"Did you run all the way here to tell me that? You could've just called," you chide, not because you didn't want to see him but 'cause you know he's probably tired from practice.
Tooru looks at you, tilting his head the way he does when he can't figure out a math problem. His eyes soften imperceptibly and he bites the inside of his cheek so hard to keep himself from kissing you when he exhales, "You were the only person I wanted to tell. And, I wanted to see you."
Tooru let's go of you then. But he doesn't go home, not yet. He sits with you on the steps of your house. And even though you're cold, you're happy to sit with him. You'd stay freezing all your life if it meant you could always have him with you.
Tooru lets his body heat seep into you while he talks about everything and nothing all at once. He tells you about the stars and how he's scared about not being able to lead his team to the best of his ability. You tell him that he doesn't need to worry about that and asks him to tell you more about the stars.
Tooru exhales, let's the tension in his body go slack. He goes on then, telling you how it's not like he's going to study astrophysics or anything like that. Ever since he was little, he's simply been unusually in love with everything that's out of this world. It's why he's in love with you after all, not that he'll tell you anytime soon.
And it's not only the stars, he talks about space and the planets and he talks your ear off about different galaxies and the possibilities of endless alternate universes and you wish upon every single star that time would stop so you could listen to him go on for hours.
Once he leaves, after hugging you one more time and after you congratulate him once more, you let his words replay in your head.
You're the only one I wanted to tell.
Oh.
Oh.
It's something so simple and yet you know, you both do. That's the moment you start to fall.
⚝ ⚝ ⚝
The whistle blows. The echo of the resounding smack of a volleyball rings in your ears. The ball falls into Aoba Johsai's court, and Tooru's team loses by two points.
The opposing team, (ushiwaka's team), looked like a tough match from the start and your chest tightens at the redness of Tooru's eyes when he begrudgingly shakes the other team's hand.
You can't see it very clearly, but you can tell how much Tooru's beating himself up over this. As the newly appointed captain, it's a hundred times tougher for him this time to deal with the loss.
Your hands are jittery as you wait for him outside his school gates. You've always walked to the station with him ever since he made captain, so you figure it wouldn't be any different this time. He calls out your name as he approaches you, looking bone weary. All locked jaws with eyes dull but still burning.
Half-heartedly, he smiles at you and thanks you for waiting. You don't say anything yet, afraid you might set him off somehow.
It's quiet as you walk beside him. The remnants of his loss lingering in the space between his body and yours. He says, very softly, like he's ashamed to admit that, "I tried my hardest. My team tried their fucking best yet we never seem to win against Shiratorizawa."
Your eyes can't seem to meet his. He keeps looking away from you and it's making it harder for you to say anything consoling. When you try, he snaps at you.
"Tooru, there's still a few more months to keep trying. You've still got a chance to beat him!"
Tooru scoffs at your words. And you try again but he cuts you off. His words cold and sharp, "What the fuck would you know."
He stops walking. He looks at you with wide eyes like he's surprised at what just came out of his mouth. You wave it off and even though he apologises, his words silently sting. You're well aware that he said those things because he's frustrated with his loss, but it hurts all the same. It's awkward then.
When you enter the train, he doesn’t wave goodbye to you as you leave, he doesn't even look at you at all. Somehow, that's the worst part.
The same achey feeling festers even more when he doesn't text you at all over the next few days. After three missed good morning texts, you finally start spamming his phone. It's an unusual switch, for you to be the one texting him first and this rapidly. But unfortunately, he still doesn't answer.
Disappointment weighs heavily in the pit of your stomach when he doesn't show up at the convenience store either. You don't normally frequent it daily but you thought maybe if you did then there'd be a chance to meet him, but he's never there.
When a whole week and a half passes, you finally decide to see him yourself. You don't really care that he's so hell bent on avoiding you. You miss your friend, you miss Tooru and his stupid emoticons and his dumb jokes and the way he laughs with his whole chest.
Walking into his practice session, you expect to see him talking to his team or practising receives. You don't expect to see him all smiles and rosy cheeks. You definitely wouldn't have expected to see a girl you've never seen before all over him.
Okay, she's just handing him a water bottle but whatever. Maybe the way he's smiling is forced too but again, whatever. Huffing and turning around, you walk out of the gym not two seconds later. You shouldn't have bothered, he's clearly all buddy-buddy with someone else, and he's clearly feeling fine so you shouldn't have worried in the first place.
Whatever.
At the same time, Iwaizumi, ever the wingman, sees you glaring holes in the back of Oikawa's head. He laughs softly before spiking a volleyball at his best friend's head. Hard enough for said best friend to fall forward and yell. Iwaizumi grins slyly and points in the direction you just left in.
"Shittykawa. The girl you won't shut the fuck up about just left."
"Shit. Thanks, Iwa-chan."
Oikawa Tooru thanks the setting sun for the first time that his coach makes him run like hell every practise. His athleticism pays off for once as he dashes for you. How you're walking so fast, he has no idea. The only thing he knows is that he has to catch up to you.
He does. Of course he does. He'd run around the moon to get you, and he'd do it in a heartbeat.
When you're finally within his reach, he spins you around to make you face him. He's barely panting but it's obvious he's been running. Without waiting for him to speak, you jerk out of his touch to snap, "You know. If you wanted to ignore me and make me feel like shit, congratulations. You did it."
Oikawa's face falls. You don't wait for his response and continue walking towards the station. Oikawa follows and spins you around again before you can get away again.
He puts his hands in front of him, begging you to wait. He sweeps his fingers through his hair nervously before babbling, "I'm sorry. I- It was stupid for me to ignore you like that. I kept over practising and then Iwa-chan had to literally drag me off the court the past seven days and I know that isn't an excuse not to talk to you but I couldn't handle talking to anyone. And I know that isn't a good enough reason to hurt you like that but- I was scared. I didn't wanna accidentally say something stupid like when I snapped you the night I lost against Ushiwaka."
"So, you thought isolating yourself from me was the best solution?" You deadpan, putting aside the desire to chastise him for overexerting himself again.
"Yeah. I'm a bit of an idiot like that."
Rolling your eyes, you push past him. "Hm, I can tell. Whatever. Glad we cleared that up. Have fun with your new girlfriend, or whatever."
Oikawa balks. His eyes do that Loony Tunes popping motion at your words. He watches you walk away for a second, a satisfied grin spreads its way across his stupid smug face. He catches up to you and spins you around again, and you almost punch him for looking so happy.
"You're jealous."
"Fuck off."
"You're jealous. And also, stupid. But I guess we're both stupid then. Anyway, she's just a fan. I don't even know her name."
Squinting, "She was all up in your space, Oikawa"
Oikawa's grin dims when you revert back to using his last name. Though, he supposes he deserves it for ignoring you. He tries again, placing both palms on your shoulders gently, gauging whether you'll let him or not. You do, and he takes it as a sign to carry on.
Oikawa looks at you like you're everything he's ever wanted, and then he says, "There's nothing to be jealous of. I don't care for her. I don't know her at all. I don't know her like you. I'm sure she wouldn't fight over an alien sticker with me. I don't think she looks at the stars whenever she's particularly sad, because she knows the darker the nights seem, the brighter the stars shine. I don't think she hated how corny she sounded when she told me that."
Oikawa breathes in and exhales unsteadily when he barrels on, "I don't think she'd sit with me in the freezing cold just to talk. And, I really, really, don't think she'd come all the way to my court just to see me if I ignored her for a week. No, I don't think I'd be so disastrously interested in anyone unless they did all those things."
The world keeps spinning on its axis. It doesn't stop turning, but it sure fucking feels like it. As you take in his words, you don't know if you've breathed even once. Your heart beats so loudly, you think it overshadows the sound of the incoming train.
Oikawa holds your gaze still, eyes soft and waiting, and you want to reply but the train comes. So, quite cruelly, you leave him on the platform and hope he doesn't notice how your face feels like it's burning. You tell him you'll text him and try to forget about how disappointed he looks as the train speeds off.
⚝ ⚝ ⚝
You don't text him. It's not that you don't reciprocate his feelings, because obviously you do. You absolutely like him back, no, it's more than that even. You love the way his feathery hair falls into his eyes when he nods too enthusiastically, you love the way his eyes light up whenever he figures out a new way to improve his plays and you love how caring and considerate he is for his teammates. You love the way he never seems to falter, how he's steady as a rock and how he's the embodiment of the word 'hardwork'.
Yet, even with all those feelings, you're terrified of telling him. You don't think he'd reject you, and maybe that's why you're so afraid. Because you're not sure he's meant to be with someone like you. Someone of your calibre.
It's not like you're so horrifically insecure but you just think maybe he won't shine as bright as he could with you weighing him down. In the back of your mind, you can hear Hanamaki's voice saying, "It's really not that deep, girl-" but you cut it off instantly.
Apart from that, there's no real concrete reason why you don't text him back. Maybe it's the fear and anxiety and the fact that you don't know how long the two of you will last and the thought of being so irrevocably in love with him just for it to fall apart sooner or later? That thought scares you the most, the fact that- unlike the stars, which are infinitely present- the two of you are not a permanent fixture.
Your overthinking does not stop Oikawa Tooru from being insane though. It seems Iwaizumi was right when he called Oikawa petty and the biggest sore loser, because he decidedly does not like or care for a taste of his own medicine. What with the way he's been blowing up your phone.
Oikawa has been tossing and turning every night you don't talk to him. He thinks about how this is how you must've felt when he did the same thing to you and it makes him even more restless. He picks up his phone to try you again.
His neverending texts range in severity and you're not sure how long you can keep him away. See the following:
omg PLS text me back (〃>_<;〃) hey, if you don't wanna talk about what I said, it's totally fine with me. just talk 2 me :( MF ISTG,, if you don't txt me back rn, I'll manifest your alien abduction ☆o(><;)○ i can literally SEE you reading these messages, please text me back.
It keeps on going. Oikawa has never known when to give up. He'll keep trying until you respond. He's also known to be very impatient and after a week passes by, he decides he will not stand for this. He won't let your radio silence deter him. He won't let this chance slip away, he won't.
⚝ ⚝ ⚝
On the seventh night of your Oikawa Tooru strike, you're rudely awoken to the sound of your bedroom window rattling. You were always warned to lock your window at night because having a room on the ground floor would be easier to break into. Man, you should have listened.
Snatching your phone from its charger, you shine the torchlight at whoever it is. Unfortunately, the light shines directly into Oikawa's eyes, causing him to loosen the grip he has on your sliding window. He yelps and the window grille falls on his back, and the two of you stare at each other until he breaks the silence.
His eyes dart back and forth from your look of incredulity to anywhere else in the room.
"I just kinda feel like we're meant to be together. I mean look at how the universe keeps throwing us at each other!"
"It's 3 in the morning and you're stuck in my window. How did you even get there?"
"The universe, I just told you. Aren't you listening?"
At the way his voice lilts, you can't help but crack a smile. Damn it, you've missed him so much. It's only been a week but it feels like so much longer.
Oikawa pulls himself out from your window and stands on the other side of it, looking at you expectantly. You're about to go and apologise for your behaviour when he cuts in to tell you to follow him. He asks you, "Do you trust me?"
"Who are you? Aladdin?" You reply snarkily, but take his hand anyway, and let him pull you into the night. You don't even question where he's taking you.
He makes sure he gets you out safely and then he starts walking. He doesn't say anything about the way you trail slightly behind him instead of how you usually walk next to him. He knows you're sorry, he can see it in the way your eyes shift each time he tries to meet yours. He can see it in the way you laugh softly at his stupid jokes even though they're not that funny. He can see it in the way you keep trying to apologise but you can't get the words out so instead, you let him talk the entire time.
And talk Oikawa does. He speaks to you about everything he did in the week you didn't talk. He fills you in on the gaps in his life that you missed and it feels like you weren't absent at all.
"I finally got the timing for Kyoutani's quick right. And during break, Hanamaki dared Matsukawa to eat twelve pieces of Oreos at once, and then they both threw up. Hanamaki did 'cause he saw matsukawa do it first. Iwa-chan spiked three volleyballs at me this week."
You reply periodically and laugh at the right timings, but your heart isn't fully in the conversation. You're sure Oikawa can pick up on that, but you're grateful that he doesn't comment on it. Halfway through the journey to wherever he's taking you, he stops by your convenience store.
"Wait here!" He exclaims, and then five minutes later he comes out with a bag filled with snacks. Oh— it's all your favourite snacks and the guilt comes back full force.
The wind blows past you, and strands of your flyaway hair falls into your eyes. Oikawa reaches out and tucks your hair behind your ear, and you think he's the prettiest boy you've ever known. Another gust of wind blows past, hard enough for it to make the swing set in front of you creak and sway. It turns out that he's brought you to a playground in your neighbourhood.
You've been here before. Not with him, but you've been here nonetheless. When you were small and not worried if Oikawa Tooru was going to break your heart. It's an irrational fear, because Oikawa Tooru would rather shoot a hole in the moon itself than commit such a crime.
Oikawa walks towards swings. He sits on the left, and you on the right. He hands you the box of Pocky he bought. Both of you slowly kick off the ground, swaying slowly in the night. The streetlamp flickers and the sound of crickets drown out the sound of your munching.
Tooru (you want to call him that again) turns to you and stares, waiting for you to explain yourself. It's hard to do that while he's looking at you so intensely, so you slowly stop swinging and choose to look at the colourful ground instead.
There still isn't a concrete reason for ignoring him, at least nothing you can put into words just yet. So that's where you start, you suppose.
"It wasn't like I was ignoring you. If anything, I couldn't stop thinking about you no matter what I did."
Tooru stops swinging too. He's so confused , "You can't just ghost me every time you need space. If you want space, just tell me and I'll give it to you. Ignoring me like that was really shitty."
"Yeah, well. You're one to talk."
"And I apologised, didn't I? I'm still waiting for yours."
Biting back a frustrated groan, you stay silent. God, you hate this, you were supposed to talk things out. Not fight even more. Suddenly, the reality of it all hits you like a punch to the gut. This was what you were afraid of. Making him mad, being bad at communication, the two of you just don't fit and now he's annoyed at you and-
Tooru looks at the sky and sighs. He gets up when you stay quiet and takes your hand to drag you to the talking tube. It connects one end of the play area to the other. He brings you to one end, makes a motion with his hand that means stay there and then he walks to the other end of the talking tube. He sits down on the ground because he’s practically twice the height of the tube.
His voice echoes through the playground speaker. He asks, ‘Hey? Can you hear me?’
You hum in answer and then he clears his throat and says, “You know, I like the moon. I like space and I like the galaxies. I like memorising the names of different constellations and I like the stars. And, I like you."
"I like everything about anything that's outside of earth but none of those things compare to you. Not the stars, not the moon, not any other planet and not even aliens. You're the only cosmic element I'm in love with, for now and for forever."
He takes a breath and you’re surprised you can hear it through the old worn out tubes. He goes on, "And I'm sorry if that scares you but you're gonna have to deal with it. So, either tell me you don't love me back, and we can forget I ever said anything. Or tell me what I think you're gonna say, because I may be an idiot, but I like to believe I'm not entirely stupid.”
He's right. You hate how intuitive he is, because of course he knows. Sitting criss-cross on the ground, you let your forehead rest against the metallic rim of the tube.
"You're right. I do like you. It's more than that, but Tooru- I'm so scared."
Your eyes find comfort in the space above you, as they always do. It dawns upon you just how tiny the two of you are in this endless universe. If Tooru's so insignificant in the vastless galaxy, even when he glows as bright as he does, then you're even less than that. You lean back down onto the tube.
Fiddling with your fingers, you whisper, "In a few months, we’re gonna graduate and you’re gonna go somewhere amazing and be you know- all you, and I’m just, I think I’m just going to stay here. Probably. Anyway, I'm not someone you should be with, you know. You're- you're gonna go out there and be great and I'm just. I'm just, me. I know I'm not making any sense but like, see, I don't know anything about volleyball, so it's not like I could help you with- with the one thing I know you try your hardest at. Tooru, I like you, a lot, but I don't really think we're meant to fit."
Oikawa Tooru has heard many stupid things in the sixteen years he's been alive. He hangs around Hanamaki and Matsukawa for God's sake, but the nonsense that just came from you might be dumber than anything he's ever heard. He inhales, and then with a burst of breath, he echoes in a voice that’s much too loud for the time of night, ‘Bullshit.’
The volume makes you wince. Sucking the air between your teeth, you rub your ears and look over at him in annoyance. Your irritated look does nothing but make him smile, and he walks over to you. Tooru looks down at you.
Next, Tooru's scowling at you. Just like he did the first time you met him. It really hits you then, just how much time has passed since he came into your life. He makes a sound that gets stuck in his throat, something in between a scoff and a gasp.
"That's actually the dumbest thing you've said so far tonight. First of all, you still haven't apologised. Second of all, you don't like me, you're clearly in love with me," and then he waves three fingers in front of your face, 'and third of all, everything you just said is irrelevant."
You start to get up then, indignant, but Tooru beats you to it and crouches down to your level. When he's this close, you can count the freckles and spots on his cheeks and if you connect all the dots, you'd be able to form constellations. When he's this close, it's hard to pretend like you don't want to pull him in by his shirt just to wipe the audacity off his face.
"Everything you just said, everything, is irrelevant. I don't care if you’re going to stay here. I don’t care if I’m going somewhere three hours away or a plane flight away, I don't care. I love you. I’m going to- no, we’re gonna make this work. And it’s not ‘we can’ make this work, we’re going to make this work, because you and me? It's written in the stars actually, the aliens told me themselves."
This time, the world really does stop spinning. You have no idea if your lungs work or not, maybe it's that Tooru stole your breath, but you can't seem to breathe right. It's always a little hard to breath when Tooru's near you. Your head wraps around what he just said and you wish something would come out of your mouth.
Tooru sees your struggle and huffs, laying down flat on his back beside you. He looks up, away from you, but slowly reaches out his arm towards you to pull your hand down to his lips. He kisses your palm once, and mutters so softly, "And I wish you didn't talk about yourself like that. You're not someone I should be with? You're the only one I want to be with. If you think we're not meant to be, that's fine. I'd choose you myself each time anyway."
For once, you're the one holding his gaze. But he takes the same hand you're holding and places it over his eyes before continuing, "If I had to choose between a million things I love and you, I'd always fucking pick you. And I don't care that I can't talk to you about volleyball, that's why I have a team. Just coming to every game you can is more than enough for me. Look, I believe that everyone has one great love of their life and I'm telling you, you're mine."
At that, you inhale sharply. Tooru removes your hand from your face and instead, grasps it in his and places it over his chest. He starts talking again, and maybe he's trying to knock you out when he says, "I am not gonna let you throw us away before you even give us a chance. So, there you go, I cleared up all your doubts, haven't I? The only thing stopping us from being together right now, is yourself. So why don’t you save us the trouble and tell me you’re in love with me already."
Taking your tongue between your teeth, you bite down to stop yourself from beaming just yet. Letting his confession wash over you, the more it starts to make sense. You and him. You should be more confident in yourself. After all, you're the one he came running to when he made captain. You're the one he texts all night long even when he has morning practise. If anything, the only thing that doesn’t make sense in this whole thing, is the fact the two of you aren’t already dating.
Fuck your commitment issues.
Swinging a leg over him, both your kneecaps bracket his waist. You lean over him with your forearms on the ground and whisper, ‘Okay, you win. I love you. I love your stupid face and the way you talk about space and how passionate you are about volleyball," your voice breaks, "and- and I love you even though you always overwork yourself and you never think you’re good enough. I love you, and I always think you’re more than enough and I’m still really scared about us but 'm gonna try anyway 'cause I know it’ll be worth it."
By the time you're done speaking, you're winded onece again. Tooru, however, is all wide eyes and rosy cheeks and red ears, and then he grins so fucking wide that you're sure his mouth must ache afterwards.
The reflection of the moon disappears as his eyes crease and he brings a hand up towards your face to pull you down. Right before he kisses you, he murmurs, ‘that’s my girl,’ and then he closes the distance.
Everyone says not to expect too much for your first kiss. But they’ve never had a first kiss with Oikawa Tooru, and if you can help it, they never will. Tooru kisses like he speaks; languidly, sweet, and to the point.
His lips brush against yours, feather light at first and then harder. He brings a hand up to the back of your neck, pressing you harder against himself until you’re practically smashed up against him.
He pulls away for a bit and you chase after him but he flips you over so that he’s the one above you this time. He leans back down and it feels like everything is okay again. He has a hand on the back of your head, pushing you closer to him. Every doubt, every insecurity and everything you were afraid of gets erased with a single kiss.
When he holds you close like this, it’s hard to think about what you were scared of in the first place, because how could you have been so fearful of something that feels so fucking right?
Unfortunately, the need for air surpasses the longing to keep kissing him and you pull away to catch your breath. He rests his forehead against yours and whispers, “Thank you for giving us a chance.”
Laughing into him, letting your giddiness pour into his mouth, you say, “I never stood a chance, not against you. You knew you’d have me, Tooru. You’re a winner after all.”
He hums noncommittally, "You’re right about that," and kisses you again. With his lips on yours, open-mouthed and pressing down, you come to understand what the movies meant by 'seeing stars'.
When the sky grumbles and flickers, Tooru pulls away. He had to bring you home sometime. He gets up first before pulling you up as well. Up close again, you can tell that his lips mirror yours; wet and raw and loved.
He doesn't have to say he's walking you home. It's an unspoken agreement now that he's your boyfriend. As you walk home with him, his hands never once let go of yours. Your hand swings casually with his as the two of you walk as slow as possible back to your house, trying to prolong the journey as much as possible, taking every detour possible and laughing at nothing.
"Tomorrow, you're going to buy me dinner for ghosting me. And then I'll buy us dessert because I'll feel bad for ordering the most expensive item on the menu."
"Sounds good. Here’s a better plan— how about we just dine and dash?"
Tooru giggles into your hair at that. As you both approach your bedroom window, a thought comes into your mind like an unwanted rat and you immediately verbalise it to him.
"When you said it didn't matter if you were a plane flight away… does that mean you’re definitely not staying here?"
He whips his head around to face you, eyes shining with barely restrained glee, "I've always known I wanted to go overseas to play. Maybe not immediately after we graduate, but... soon. And I kept that in mind when I said we're going to make this work. And you agreed, so no take backsies!"
Despite his excitement reflecting onto you, your worries and doubts start to resurface unwillingly, "Okay, but wouldn’t it be hard to focus on us and going pro at the same time? Tooru, I can’t stand the thought of being a burden to you. what if you-"
He doesn't let you finish, doesn't let that thought spiral into a million other things. He cuts you off with a simple press of his lips against yours. Kisses you against your window until you're silent and doesn't let you speak until your heart calms down.
When he pulls away, the streetlight lightens up his eyes and the stars illuminate his face, it makes his hazel eyes dance. He rests his forehead against yours and tells you with a steady voice, with full certainty, “You’re worth it. You’re worth everything to me.”
Oikawa Tooru’s kisses taste like starlight and his words ground you better than gravity ever could and somehow, he gave you his whole universe without even trying.
12:30 am
Feat. Kuroo
Kuroo didn’t know when he decided that dating you would be a bad idea, but he did. But looking at you know, he couldn’t remember why.
Seeing you after a long day was like taking a fresh breath of air, or maybe not. Seeing you, an indescribable feeling came over him.
You made water taste better, the sun shine brighter, and his heart beat faster.
You first met Kuroo your first year, on the first day of school. He sat beside you in class and offered his name so you returned with yours. After that interaction you spoke with him regularly in class and it only took a few months before you were speaking outside of class.
You two got close, and for some reason, he got scared. It wasn't often that he let people get too close, or that people wanted to get close.
He let his feelings fester for two years, nearly forgetting that there was another option besides dying in silence.
But here you were, leaning down in front of him whispering in his ear, telling him to come with you. Goosebumps rose on his skin as your hot breath hit his ear. He willingly followed you, not that he had much choice because you were holding onto his hand tightly.
His mind jumped from several different conclusions as to what you were gonna do to him, some shoujo status, others being horrifically humiliating.
You lead him out of the classroom to behind the school.
"What are we doing here?" He asked.
You shushed him and grabbed him by his tie to lower him in front of a cardboard box. He almost lost it then and there. You looked around in every direction before opening the box to reveal a single black kitten sleeping in it.
"I found her in a bush near the entrance. You know, I was running late so it was quiet when I was walking up so I heard her meowing." You explained, petting her head softly with one finger. "I found a box and went back and grabbed her. By the time I had done all of this, 1st period was over."
He looked over at you as you looked tenderly at the kitten. He wondered if he was looking at you with a similar expression.
"What are you going to do with her?"
You looked up at him with a bashful look and he knew that whatever you were going to say next he would agree to immediately.
"I was thinking you could take it? My dad would never let us take her in, but maybe your parents would be ok with it? I would have to come over constantly though."
"Of course, I'll take care of her." He spoke without really thinking about it, but his answer would have been the same.
"Really? That's so great! I was super worried for a bit."
"C'mon, I'd do anything I could to help you out." After watching your expression change, he wanted to take it back immediately, or at least rearrange his wording.
"Thanks, Tetsurou." Shit. He was down bad.
With the way you were looking at him now, he was asking again, why hadn't he made a move sooner.
He spoke your name softly and you held your breath as he spoke. "Before we go back to class, I have something I want to say." He paused to find the right words, but nothing seemed better than just saying them. "I like you."
You finally let out a breath as a shaky laugh and beamed at him. "I like you too."
You both were caught up in a moment of bliss that was broken by the weak cry of the kitten in front of you.
"She's awake!" You pulled her into your arms as you showed Kuroo to her. "This is Tetsurou, your new dad."
"If I'm her dad, does that make you her mom?" He hoped to pull a flustered reaction from you, but the best he could get was a blush and a smile.
"I thought that was obvious." You mumble, placing her back into the box.
"Well, we should probably head back, class will be starting soon." He said, taking the box into his arms.
“What are you doing?” You ask.
“Taking her to the gym, Nekomata won’t mind. She’ll be safer where no one else will find her. She can be like our mascot or something.” You smile at him and it sends the same electric shocks through his heart, just without the pain this time.
this made my day already 😭
if no one told you today, i love you
because throwing an apple at someone's head was a sign of professing one's love in greek myth.
fluff, gn!reader, i wrote this in a blip
When you told yourself today was the day you confessed to Phainon, you weren't expecting it to turn out like this.
The very ripe, very red, very ready-to-be-consumed apple was not supposed to fly out of your grasp the way it did. It was not supposed to hit him on the head, silencing his laughter as he dumbfoundedly blinks at the item that broke him out of his giddy stupor. It was not supposed to land perfectly in his hands as he glances between your face and your snack, which has now decided to work against you.
You definitely were not supposed to just mutter a meek 'I like you', and you definitely were not supposed to turn on your heel and run away from him!
And why is he chasing after you? Can't he tell you need alone time to recover from the unfortunate series of events that just unfolded?
"Y/n, wait!" He calls, barely sounding out of breath. Your feet hit cement, grass, climb up and down flights of stairs, they don't stop as you dash through every bit of the Grove of Epiphany, all for the sole purpose of shaking Phainon off your tail.
However, it was your mistake for believing someone like him would be willing to give up, and his stamina outpaced yours by a landslide, so just what were you thinking? Running away like that in the spur of the moment?
"No!" You shout back. "Leave me be!"
"But I have something to say to you!"
"I'm sorry for throwing an apple at your head!"
"It's okay! I don't mind- just, stop running!"
"Maybe you should stop chasing me!"
"For Titan's sake-"
As you round a pillar that lead to a short staircase, Phainon had jumped over the ledge and landed by the time you descended the flight, and with a lunge, his hand had securely wrapped itself around your elbow. You had lost. Lost the chase, the fight, your dignity as you gaze up at him, your stomach stirring with unease at his imminent rejection.
There's an unreadable look in his eyes but you don't try deciphering it because you're certain you seem like a mess right now. Your face felt flushed, sweat stuck to your skin, and your hair was all over the place, and worst of all, Phainon was going to reject you while you were in this state.
Titans, please help. This was not what you intended at all.
"You're too fast," he huffs, chest heaving like yours. "You really know how to steal someone's breath away."
"If you're gonna let me down just get to it already."
"Let you down? You think I was chasing you all this way just to let you down?"
"Or were you going to return my apple? It was my afternoon snack-"
"What? No, it's my apple now, you gave it to me!"
"Well, I... threw it at your head-"
"-I accept your confession!" He blurts boldly.
All you can do is splutter out a pathetic 'huh???'.
Phainon is exasperated at this point, desperate to confess the feelings that's been dwelling in his chest for the entire time he's known you. When he's waited this long, he wasn't going to let the moment go, not when you're the one who took the first step, having the nerve to capture his heart and take off bolting with it.
"I like you- a lot! You're everything I've ever wanted and I've waited so long for this, Y/n, please don't make me suffer any longer."
He doesn't blink as he looks at you, as if stubborn to not miss anything about you, not a single micro-change in your expression, the way your breath hitched at his passion, the tweaks of a small smile beginning to pull at your lips.
"Just how am I making you suffer?"
"You tell me the one thing I've been waiting to hear from you and instead of letting me speak, you run away and have me chase you like a Spirithief, does your cruelty know no bounds? Fine, if you're still unsure about my feelings then-"
He takes a big bite out of the apple, the crisp crunch speaking more than it should have to as you blink at his unwavering will.
Phainon's confession settles in the silence, and the first thing you do is laugh in a way that has him almost crumbling to his knees in relief. It was an ode to something beautiful, the start of a new beginning, and as he split your apple in half and handed you the unbitten part, the dull ache on his head finally began to subside.
© EARTHTOOZ 2025, do not steal, translate, repost my fics and do not recommend my fics onto any other site.
I love the vibe Zhongli gives off
premise. snippets of daily life between a humble servant and an increasingly clingy master.
word count. 5.4k
note. reader full of snark + dumbass in love ayato = gratuitous amount of banter. i have to say that ayato never goes out of line though, and you're not actually bothered by his advances; you're just a massive tsundere.
“With all due respect, I don't believe being your headrest is part of my duty, my lord.”
“Is that so?”
The noncommittal response pointedly marks the end of his acknowledgement as Ayato makes no effort to sit up, remaining slumped against your frame. His head rests upon your shoulder, a ticklish sensation blooming where your neck and chin meet. Light blue hair trail prickling heat where it grazes your skin, an itch you can't quite scratch away.
Even so, the discomfort doesn't reflect on your face, frigid expression carefully layered with blankness. His sinking weight fails to impede your immaculate posture, refined poise a great disparity from his leisurely disposition. It paints an odd picture, the ordinarily faultless heir lacking decorum—though granted the freedom to do as he wishes in the private confines of his room, it is a mystery why a servant such as you is... graciously permitted to bask in his exclusive company. In the private confines of his room. You feel the need to emphasize that detail.
In his hands lay a scroll concerning governmental affairs, urgent matters that demand his attention, so you can't begin to comprehend why he insists on using this time to harass reward a lowly attendant with his valuable presence when there is business to attend to.
He leans more of his weight to your side, and he—you nearly sputter indignantly—mimics an action that can almost be described as nuzzling. “Mhm. This is convenient for me, since I've hardly found the time to rest today. Do you find it intolerable?”
Ignoring the last bit, you advise, “Perhaps it would be more effective if you were to rest in your chambers. I will come call when the Kanjou Commission asks for you.”
He pretends to consider it for a moment, the silence filled with the quiet jingle of wind chimes. But predictably, the corners of his mouth hook up to an impish smile. “I would prefer to stay, if you don't mind?”
Resigned to your fate, you can only say, “Of course not, my lord.”
For reasons you cannot fathom, the head of the Kamisato household harbors a strong attachment to you.
In normal circumstances, this fact would be taken as great news; presently, you are little more than puzzled and unfeeling. Rather than delight, dread stirs in your stomach whenever he calls your name in a volume louder than necessary—a conscious decision, you presume, since he seems to interact with other servants just fine. Curt and polite, keeping his words concise, preventing further delay from addressing his responsibilities.
Had you not known better, you wouldn't be able to identify him as the same man who indulges in trivialities when he invites you to share snacks, engaging in frivolous chatter over tea and pastries. With increasing frequency nonetheless, and with varying refreshments each time to boot, an assortment of exquisite wagashi produced only by the best. Strawberry daifuku on one tea break, mizu-yokan on the next, sakura mochi on the day after that... You've been serving him for a considerable amount of time, but he's never been much of a sweet tooth until as of late.
Ayato hums thoughtfully, savoring the sweet taste on his tongue. “The mild flavor is pleasant. I believe it might be to your liking.”
He offers you a cup, steam curling above the warm brew. The pink beverage glistens beneath the sunlight, rippling with movement when you take it into your hands. It doesn't require much thinking to conclude the tea leaves must've cost a fortune, but it leaves you plenty of questions just as well. Why would a benefactor give you a taste of luxury?
But you would be a fool not to appreciate it while it lasts, so you lift the cup for a sip.
The flavor of spring bursts in your mouth, fragrant and tasting of sweet nectar. Your frosty guise wavers under the bribery, bliss crossing your face before your lips quirk up to a small, almost imperceptible smile.
Deeming your elated reaction satisfactory, Ayato nudges the plate of confections towards your side of the table. “Eat. They pair well with the tea.”
Who are you to say no to your lord? Therefore, the correct choice must be to accept his gifts with gratitude!
(Distracted by desserts, you fail to see his amusement in the way you stuff your cheeks full adorably like a chipmunk.
But he's aware it's not the right time yet, so he suppresses the urge to pinch your face.)
Kamisato Ayato is often praised for his intellect and cunning mind, but sometimes you wonder if he'd finally gone stupid. It was only a matter of time.
“My hand feels cold,” he laments, as if he hadn't chucked away his gloves ten seconds prior. “Can I hold yours for a moment?”
Ayaka, for her part, looks ashamed on her brother's behalf. With a graceful flick of her wrist, her fan snaps open and obscures the mortified expression on her face. Thoma's bottom lip quivers, valiantly repressing his bubbling laughter though he turns quite ugly in the process.
Sending a prayer to the heavens, you hope your face looks as unreadable as you think it to be. “...I'll fetch you a pair of gloves,” you say, side-stepping the pair he just abandoned on the floor.
“Mhm. That won't be necessary,” he counters, tugging on the edge of your sleeve. “You see, I heard those granted Pyro Visions have warmer body temperature...”
That is undoubtedly a lie he conjures up on the spot.
“...So I was hoping to sate my curiosity today,” he finishes, looking far too pleased with himself. Ayaka avoids your gaze when your eyes sweep past her (she absolutely knows it's an idiotic idea because going by that logic, she should have a colder temperature... but that is obviously not the case), and Thoma is blatantly ignoring your requests for assistance, whistling an awkward tune.
You have half a mind to shift the responsibility to another retainer similarly bearing a Pyro Vision, who is currently trying his hardest to stifle his pained grunts when you pinch his forearm admonishingly, but there's really no way out of this. Ayato would certainly craft another bullshit reason to coax you anyway. (A part of you thinks it might be fun to keep up the charade just to hear what he'll say next.)
You hold up your hand, and Ayato's eyes flicker with mischief. His slender fingers wrap around your wrist, brushing over the jut of your bone. He marvels at the size of it, dwarfed by his large hands, and he curls his fingers tighter.
...He doesn't seem to be assessing your temperature.
But you are mindful of his, a searing heat devouring your senses. His light touches settle heavily on your skin, a prominent warmth amidst the cold gale. Where his fingers rest leave imprints of fire, trails of scorched ash in his wake.
Experimentally, his thumb rubs circles on your palm, tracing over the lines. He rolls the soft flesh, staring at the small cuts and calluses with an attentive eye. Burning the image into his mind. Fiddling with the shape of your fingers. Then, following a brief hitch of his breath, he fits his own in the spaces between yours.
His hand is soft, you think to yourself. Without the presence of leather, it is fully bare, pale and dusted with pink. His knuckles are pronounced, palm surprisingly unscarred in spite of vigorous sword practice, but a writer's callus lays on his ring finger. It is easy to imagine his frame hunched over his desk, pen between his fingers, ink running dry from writing back to missives and signing endless contracts.
(And responding to engagement offers. You would know. They clutter his workspace, scented letters branded by wax seals of a distinguished family's emblem.
He barely throws a cursory glance at them before giving his never changing answer.)
When he gives your hand a squeeze, you finally ask, “Is it warm?”
“Yes.” He sounds somewhat strangled, there, less confident than he was before he took your hand. “Very warm.”
He reluctantly parts with it, stepping back to reduce your close proximity. Ayaka fans herself as she scrutinizes his reddening complexion, and Thoma—partial to the lord, you see, even though he wasn't very eager to lend you a hand before—makes some excuse about a meeting he has to attend to (some beetle fight with Itto, most likely) and if you'd kindly excuse their presence.
“...Please pardon my brother's strange behavior,” Ayaka murmurs when only the both of you remain in the room. “He could be quite straightforward when his curiosity is piqued. He doesn't have weird intentions, really.”
She doesn't appear to believe it herself, but you appreciate her attempts to clean up Ayato's mess.
“It's no trouble, milady.” You flash a placating smile for good measure, reaching down to collect the discarded gloves Thoma nearly tripped on in his way out. “But I'm afraid I'll have to take my leave now as well...”
“Yes, of course! You may go.”
Following her affirmation, you scramble to take a duster and retreat to clean the library.
At least she doesn't comment on your flushed cheeks and colored ears. Small mercies. (There's only so much composure you can exhaust within one day.)
For all that you (privately) complain about the extensive list of chores to tackle in the Kamisato Estate, you find tending to the garden fairly enjoyable. Alas, you can't exactly spend the whole day pruning the shrubbery; the smile on your face drops when you're sent to go on a shopping trip. Worse still, with no one to assist you in carrying the groceries. Thoma has already promised to accompany Ayaka for a mission, and everyone else is busy preparing for the Kamisato head's upcoming business trip.
Said Kamisato head is apparently “free” and “has the spare time to help” despite being the one who should be busy holing himself up in his office.
Regardless of your protests, Ayato insists on tagging along to the market. Which brings you to your current situation, your employer dutifully carrying bundles of cloth and a basket of radishes and carrots with an easygoing smile, while your hands remain empty. He is... considerate, if you were to speak in flowery words. He is stubborn, if you were to be blunt.
However, he is relatively obedient, save for the handful of times he rushes off to chase something that caught his eye. As a result, he keeps purchasing cheap trinkets he'll probably have no use for and his pocket is brimming of candy he sometimes stuffs your mouth with when you have something to scold him for. (To be fair, it's very effective for shutting you up.)
“Please don't interrupt me from speaking,” your words are partly muffled, mouth still chewing on the confection. Ayato smiles innocently, pressing another piece of sugar to your lips.
“Where are we headed next?” He questions, looking around the bustling streets as he tucks the jar of konpeito candy in his sleeve. “Do you still have vegetables you need to buy?”
You shake your head. “No, the cook said he's only missing radishes and carrots in particular. I've also gotten the materials needed to mend clothes Thoma asked for.”
He deflates at that, disappointment painting his expression. “I suppose we're returning, then?”
You purse your lips, considering your options. It isn't like you were told to come back an appointed time, and you could always blame Ayato for your tardiness... “Does my lord wish to visit anywhere specifically?”
The river of stars in his eyes twinkle ever so slightly, flashing a thinly-veiled childish gleam. “Not anything I could think of at the top of my head. Do you have any recommendations in mind?”
“Recommendations?”
“Places you like to visit.”
During your free time, you usually look around to shop for clothing or accessories... but they're nowhere near the quality befitting of nobles. The yukata isn't tailored to your size, made from cheaper cloth of cotton, and aren't as decorative to what your lord is used to; it's what makes it affordable. Whereas Ayato is often dressed in luxurious silks, embellished with golden thread and customized to his liking.
“It's no harm to bring you there... I guess.” You scratch your cheek. “Though I can't guarantee you'll like it.”
“Nonsense.” He smiles amicably. He reaches for the basket before you can grab it, gesturing for you to start walking. “I'm sure I'll have a good time regardless where it is.”
And... he does. He marvels at the extravagant brocades displayed at boutiques, wondering how one could possibly wear so many heavy layers. Though he doesn't buy clothes for himself, he decides to buy a cute purse he thinks his sister would appreciate.
Ayato expresses interest in ornaments and cosmetics as well, to which the shop owner proceeds to happily introduce her entire catalogue for a man she knows has deep pockets. He doesn't disappoint.
“You don't want anything?” He asks when you only answer his questions pertaining to Ayaka's preferences, two steps behind, never taking the opportunity to roam and search for potential additions in your wardrobe.
It's not that you haven't seen anything you'd like to take home, per se. More like everything is too expensive for your pocket money in this high-end portion of town. “No,” you say instead, because it's easier to explain that way.
He tilts his head inquisitively, but doesn't push the topic. “Help me choose a hair pin then. You know what fits Ayaka best.”
He leads you to the display case housing rows of hair ornaments, each one more remarkable than the next. The last one, undoubtedly the most costly whose price would make you weep, teeters on the edge of gaudy. Adorned with silver butterflies, tear drop sapphires, gems delicately shaped like dewy petals and white pearls sitting atop carved gold, they almost blind your eyes.
“...She'd look beautiful in everything,” is the conclusion you come to, because you speak nothing but the truth. “But please don't buy everything. She will get mad at you.”
“I know,” he sighs. “That's why I needed your help picking one.”
You almost drill holes to the items with how hard you're staring at them, but you eventually point at the pin with pink blossoms. “This would contrast nicely with her hair.”
“Mhm. If you say so,” he hums approvingly, tracing the sculpted leaves.
“Then if that's all, I'll go pay...”
“Ah, which reminds me.” He spins on his heel to face you, lips shaped into an apologetic smile. “I'm nearly running out of parchment paper. Could you stop by the stationery store up front? I'll handle things from here and meet you by the entrance.”
“Of course, my lord.”
On your way outside, you resolutely do not allow your curious gaze to steer towards the tables of sparkling jewelry.
--
The trip back to the estate is uneventful, and the rest of the afternoon passes like any other.
Perhaps the only inconsistency in your repetitive days is the accidental nap you fall into, blanketed in warm rays of sunshine and caressed by the refreshing breeze slipping past ajar doors, your cheek resting on the surface of the table you were supposed to be cleaning. How uncouth of me, you think as you wipe your mouth to check for signs of drool. Your only respite is not having anyone witness you in such a state, otherwise you would've long been rudely awakened and received an earful of chastising.
...Is what you think, until you spot a foreign ring you definitely do not recall putting on.
It curls around your finger, dotted with crystals in a hue of blue you're all too familiar with. You see it everyday, gleaming in mischief, darkening with intrigue. Framed by long, long lashes, crinkling at the corners when filled with mirth. Crashing torrents that freeze in displeasure yet inexplicably gentle the moment they meet your eyes, akin to gentle sea waves that pad to your feet.
(You wonder if this is why he insisted on touching your hands so much, just to roughly measure your ring size.)
“I hope you fare well during my absence. Fear not, I will do my best not to prolong my leave.”
The way his words sound so self-assured and full of conviction doesn't sit well with you, and the genuine pity reflected in his irises almost makes your eyebrow twitch. You haven't even spoken a word before he began his theatrics.
“Take as long as you need,” you reassure him. “My lord mustn't rush his work.”
He wilts, but he perks right back up, “No need to put up a front. I'll come back for you.”
Incorrigible.
“Then I await your safe return.” You bow deeply as you swallow back a sigh of defeat, the other servants lined up on either side of the street moving accordingly.
“Please be careful,” Ayaka bids when she walks in front of him. “I've heard of bandits intercepting carriages to steal... I don't mean to undermine your abilities, but you should still be vigilant of trouble.”
Ayato laughs at that. “You don't have to worry, Ayaka. They'll sooner surrender before they lay a single scratch on me.” Glancing at the supplies being loaded on his carriage, he grimaces slightly. “I better get going. I'll see you all in three weeks.”
He climbs to the interior, giving you a final smile before closing the door. You stare at the carriage until it fully disappears, the trotting of horses out of earshot. When Thoma begins to walk back to the estate, you fall into step with him, matching his strides.
“The lord hasn't left for this long in a while,” he comments, to which you hum in agreement. “Think you'll miss him?”
“Three weeks is hardly a long time,” you retort back, complacent for the rare period of peace to follow the next month. “He'll return in no time, as if he'd never been gone in the first place.”
Thoma eyes you strangely at that, but says no more. “If you say so.”
--
The first day is bliss. No disruptions in your work, no unwanted conversation partner as a distraction, no midnight snacks needed to be prepared for the clan head a weird mix between workaholic and slacker.
The second day proves to be the same. No incessant chatter in your ear as you sweep the floor, no complaints for a stack of paperwork to be done within the day, no sudden requests of a shoulder massage for a job well done deserving of a reward.
The third day, you feel like your schedule is lacking, blank spots of free time sprinkled in between.
Ah, right. The tea breaks.
You tell yourself you only miss the fragrant tea, the selection of treats given to you by the young master's generosity. Not his thoughtful commentary for the taste, the chuckles spilling from his lips when you respond to his quips, the brief moments of eye contact before you resume your respective duties.
The fourth day, you're sent to hang the laundry. You tell yourself you don't miss a certain someone's abrupt appearance, poking a head through the sheets to startle you, huffing bright peals of laughter when he attains his desired reaction.
The fifth day, the cook requests your help to prep dinner. My lord doesn't like this dish, the sentence almost leaves your tongue as your eyes track down the recipe when you remember right, he's not here, and milady likes this dish, so it's one of the few chances she gets to eat it.
The sixth day, you clean his office. You organize the account books, restock his collection of pens and paper, and shuffle through his mail to sort them by category (definitely not noting down the number of letters asking for his hand in marriage). Your face flushes slightly when an unassuming bookmark falls out of a book you pick up from the floor, familiar flowers pressed thinly to fit between the pages. (You have only given those flowers on a whim, plucking fresh blossoms from plants you grew outside the Kamisato's garden. You didn't think he'd keep it around; they're not nearly as fancy as what his family owns.)
By the seventh day, you begin to doubt the calendar. There is no way it's only been a single week.
--
“How do I look?”
“Positively charming,” is your dry answer.
“You're not looking.”
Your eyes flit to Thoma's attire. “I am.”
He shakes his head, taking off the robes he's been trying on. “You're always daydreaming nowadays. What are you thinking about?”
Reminiscing the last time you visited this clothing store, which is when you brought the young master in your shopping trip, and also presumably when he bought the ring for you. Recently, you've taken to pondering over the specifics; did he commission it beforehand? But how would he have known for certain you'd be visiting the store that day to give it to you later that afternoon? You were only planning to get groceries... Unless he was planning to give it another time? If so, in what occasion did he want to present it as a gift? What prompted him to give it to you earlier? ...Did he see your longing gaze on the jewelry?!
No, no, no, you made sure none of that showed on your face... Did he mean to give it to you that day? He somehow predicted you'd cave to his whims and show him around town? Then when you were gone, he retrieved the ring he commissioned, hitting two birds with one stone in a single trip?
...Knowing your sly lord, the idea isn't so far-fetched to be unbelievable...
To this day, you have yet to solve the mystery. But Thoma doesn't need to know your current musings. You shake your head. “It's nothing. Are you buying it?”
“Since you kindly gave an approving opinion, sure.” His tone drips with sarcasm as he takes out his money pouch, paying for the clothes. “I think I don't need the answer from you, actually. I'm confident I have an accurate guess.”
Your eyebrows knit together. “What do you mean by that?”
“Who else would linger in your mind?” Thoma sighs in dramatic fashion, stepping out of the premises with you not far behind. “Distance makes the heart grow fonder, after all.”
Bristling, you vehemently refute, “I'm not thinking inappropriately of the lord, if that's what you're implying.”
“I didn't mention any names.”
“But you clearly meant him.”
He holds up his hands. “If that's what you want to believe, suit yourself.”
His gaze drops to the ring wrapped around your finger. The ring has been a topic of interest for the gossip mongers within the estate, wondering who you could've received it from; what other implications can wearing a ring have? Your cold exterior is no secret, your heart guarded with thorns, so who was able to sweep you off your feet in the end?
Thoma only needed one look at the shade of blue to make a correct guess.
“...I'm sure at this point, you know of his intentions,” Thoma says slowly. “And I have plenty of reasons to believe his affections aren't entirely unrequited.”
If they were, you would have brushed off Ayato already, just like you always do with the others. He may be persistent, but he knows how to back off. Yet the most you do is sigh and spoil him, albeit in (fond) exasperation.
“Even if they aren't...” You fidget with the hem of your shirt, averting your gaze from his blazing eyes, “...it doesn't mean we'll work. I'm certain he has better prospects for a spouse, anyway.”
“You mean those daughters from noble families?” He snorts. “He'd barely give them the time of day before running back to you. You should know that by now. Don't you remember when he faked being sick in that lunch meeting so you could take care of him?”
Of course you do. He had pretended to be in a dizzy spell, collapsing on your shoulder and making furtive hand signals asking for your help to get the lovesick maiden off his back. There really is no way to reject people like her without offending his business associate, so he tended to evade confrontations in roundabout ways.
You could excuse his clingy behavior out of necessity; it would be disgraceful to collapse on the floor, after all. The problem lies with the aftermath where you had already steered clear of the trouble but he insists on requiring treatment, body calculatively feeble as he gives you woeful pleas.
In another world, perhaps this would've been a heart-rending experience: a cold man who didn't share his burdens with others asking help from you specifically, because you were special and he trusted you the most.
In this world though, the act is only deserving of a derisive snort. He pulled off this plot for who knows how many times. How would holding your hand help with his throbbing headache anyway?
(You ignore the fact you indulge him each time regardless.)
“In any case, the lord is returning in a week. Not much time left for you to mope.” He laughs even as you elbow his side.
A week.
(That is one week too long.)
--
When Ayato returns five days short of three weeks, you aren't there to greet him.
Instead, you are sick in bed, bundled in a pile of blankets, and suffering from a stuffy nose.
Ah, and delirious from fever. Very much so.
So when Ayato miraculously appears in your bedroom earlier than scheduled, you only sniff in response and brush him off as a hallucination.
But of course, your dismissive attitude isn't enough to discourage him from pestering you and running his mouth. He hovers by your bedside, noting with glee that you keep his ring on a nightstand close by. “This is rare. I don't think I've ever seen you ill.”
But you've seen him plenty, frail and weak after days straight of sleepless nights. He doesn't look too pretty in such a mood, quick-tempered and sharp-tongued at the slightest annoyance. He only ever softens when your expression flits to dismay for a fraction of a second before dutifully offering him prescribed medicine from the family's physician, the saddened expression gone like a mirage.
“How are you this annoying even in my dreams...”
As it turns out, you're even more of a worse case than he is.
“Mhm. Your filter is completely shut down when you're sick, huh.” Ayato laughs, amused at the surprising revelation. He doesn't get to be the receiving end of your blunt words very often. “Alright. How bad do you feel right now?”
“Terrible, since it's the ass crack of dawn.”
It is not the ass crack of dawn, but you wouldn't know any better with the folding screens obscuring the orange glow of the evening. “Do you have an appetite? I'll have a servant bring a meal.” Then, he slyly adds, “I can feed you, if you want me to.”
He doesn't know which part of that statement appeals to you the most but you sit up straight, attentive.
Interesting.
Though Ayato meant it in jest, he has no complaints scooping spoonfuls of porridge to bring to your lips. He patiently coaxes you into drinking the bitter medicine after, quickly soothing you with bite-sized cut fruit to wash away the acrid taste.
“Good job,” he compliments, chuckling when you glow at the praise. Your lips are shiny with juice, trickling from the corner of your mouth.
Absent-mindedly, his hand lifts to caress your cheek, the pad of his thumb wiping it away. You jolt, a startled sound escaping you, and you hasten to clamp a hand over his mouth.
He blinks at you owlishly, dumbfounded.
“Don't,” you speak, your face decorated with a lovely pink. “You'll... you'll get sick.”
Ayato takes an embarrassing amount of time to process what that means. However, when he does, you can feel him grin beneath your fingers. He takes your hand, his huff of laughter tickling your palm.
“I thought we were in a dream? You don't get sick from kisses in dreams,” he teases, pressing a light kiss to your wrist. Your heart stutters in bewilderment but you make no move to pull away, only twitching when he kisses your fingertips.
“It's better to be careful...” Your brows knit together, and he kisses the tiny furrow away too.
“Okay. Let's do it next time then, when you're truly awake.” He gently pushes you to your back, fluffing up the pillows for your comfort and tucking you in the blankets. Indulgently, he presses a final kiss to the crown of your head. “Rest well so I can get that kiss sooner, hm?”
“That's a stupid reason to recover...” You murmur defiantly, stubbornly blinking your drooping eyes open.
In the end, you fall asleep to the sound of his laughter, the fingers combing through your hair, and the rhythmic beat in his chest.
--
When you wake up, you admonish yourself for having such a shameless subconscious, but you acknowledge that you had a good dream.
Then your eyes land on a pair of discarded gloves on your nightstand, one that you remember Ayato putting away before he began to spoonfeed you your meal.
...Fuck.
“With all due respect, I don't believe being your headrest is part of my duty, my lord.”
A thoughtful hum answers you, preceded by a curious glance at your expression. Your legs are folded underneath you, back straight and eyes overlooking the garden instead of the weight resting on your lap. You can feel him shift, turning over where he faces against the porch, his robes wrinkling where they lay below.
“Are you suddenly becoming shy because a maidservant passed by?” He places down the novel in his hands on the wooden floorboards, watching your face burn in embarrassment. “I doubt this is the first time she's seen us, though.”
“My apologies. I'm not as thick-skinned as you are.”
“I'd prefer the term 'proud,'” he pokes the sash around your waist, smiling cheekily. “Who wouldn't want to show off their lover?”
He feels you stiffen, sees the flush of pink crawling outwards to the tips of your ears. “It's inappropriate. We're in a public setting.”
“That's only because you refuse to enter my chambers.” Ayato sighs and you look positively mortified. “I wouldn't ravage you, if that's what you're worried about?”
Not yet anyway, he doesn't say.
“My lord, please be reasonable. Whether you do or not, I will still be seen as your bed warmer. Did milady not advise us to be discreet? Inazuma would be in an uproar if they learned you were... you were...” You purse your lips, unable to spit the last word.
“Wedded.”
“I'm afraid we haven't gone that far, my lord,” you deadpan.
“So will you consider it?”
“My lord.”
“What?”
You give him a look, and he sighs in acquiescence. But he turns to face the opposite direction, expression hidden fron view. You can practically hear the pout in his voice, “I see. [Name] only sees me as a fling. My heart breaks to know this bliss is short-lived, but I will cherish our remaining time together.”
He's begun his theatrics again, you think tiredly, accustomed to his stunts. “In any case, we must be careful. We never know who has loose lips around here...”
He's still not facing you, resolutely looking away.
...Is he sulking for real? Was that a genuine marriage proposal?
“My lord?” You call out softly, in a lover's tender voice. He doesn't respond. Quieter, you whisper to his ear, “Ayato?” yet that doesn't earn a reaction either.
You start to panic, wondering if you were acting too indifferently. The change in your relationship had been a recent one, and you're still settling in a period of adjustment; even if you wanted to properly flirt with him like normal lovers do, bickering came more naturally to you.
You reach for his shoulder, hoping to turn him over and see his face. But then he catches your wrist, and you only have a second to catch a glimpse of his triumphant smirk before he captures your lips in a chaste kiss.
“Mhm, I see. So you're more considerate towards me when we're dating,” he cheerfully notes, tucking a stray lock of hair behind your ear as if he can't see the way your shocked gaze morphs into a cold glare. “I truly am privileged.”
“Incorrigible.” The word drips with poison, but he laughs and kisses you again, thumbing at the ring around your finger.
“Too bad you're stuck with me forever, huh?”
𝟏:𝟓𝟔 𝐀𝐌 | 𝐒𝐀𝐊𝐔𝐒𝐀 𝐊𝐈𝐘𝐎𝐎𝐌𝐈.
“omi, hey! omi,” you nudge sakusa with your hand. he stirs in his sleep, blinking as his sleep hazed eyes open one by one to meet yours.
“huh?” he rubs a hand over his eyes and groans, and the sight of his tousled hair and puffy cheeks makes your heart beat a mile a minute.
“i’m sorry,” you mumble, looking down. he stares at you like that for a moment, propped up on his elbows as he registers your words—and why you’ve said them.
sakusa promptly turns to face away from you, greeting you with the sight of his bare back.
“hmph,” he huffs, and you pout, shaking his shoulder to gather his attention once more. by now, you’ve learned sakusa kiyoomi is a very stubborn person.
and sure, you had yelled at him rather harshly for asking you a harmless question, but you were in a bad mood.
he should’ve known that, he’s your boyfriend after all.
“omi,” you whine, shoving his shoulder yet again, putting a little more force into it than last time. he pays you no mind, and you all but throw a temper tantrum at the lack of attention from him.
“that’s kiyoomi to you,” he mumbles.
yeah, you think, it seems he’s still mad.
you were really hoping he wouldn’t be—the second he’d grabbed his pillow and stomped off to the guest room, you’d known you’d gone to far, but the words had slipped before you could stop them from spewing.
but you and sakusa were cut from the same stone, and you know him better than you know yourself.
he won’t be mad for long.
“omi, said i was sorry,” you pout—and if he’d seen the sight, he’d have given in, you’re sure of it. you curse him for facing his back to you.
smart bastard, you think. he’s done it on purpose.
“well, i never said it was okay. it’s not nice to be rude to your boyfriend after a long day. especially when he simply asked what you wanted for dinner.”
“i know,” you murmur. “that’s why i’m here to apologize.”
“well, too bad. he’s not here,” sakusa says through his own heavy pout, laying on his side with his arms crossed. your hand runs softly over his back, and the hurt feelings from before completely dissipate. you hold that power over him.
“can you tell him for me then?” you grin slightly, making him shrug.
“i don’t know, you don’t really deserve to leave him a message.”
“aww, come on,” you whine, leaning down and placing your chin on his shoulder, hand finding it’s way to rub over his bare abs now. they flex under your touch. “he’s got a soft spot for me, i know he does. he’ll listen to the message.” it’s silent for a bit.
“fine, i’ll tell him,” sakusa mumbles eventually. grinning, you press a soft kiss to his neck.
“well, tell him i love him, first of all. i didn’t get a chance to tell him that before bed. and then tell him i’m sorry, and that i was wrong. i shouldn’t have snapped at my boyfriend after a long day. especially after he simply asked what i wanted for dinner.” sakusa grumbles something under his breath, and it sounds awfully close to ‘not good enough’. you roll your eyes at his stubbornness. “and tell him that he’s handsome—the handsomest. and that the bed’s cold without him,” you mumble the last part softly.
and quietly, he sighs, and you know he’s not mad anymore just from the sound alone.
“he’s asking if you’re gonna make it up to him.”
“i think i can think of a few ways,” you giggle, and a small grin spreads across sakusa’s face, a soft, boyish chuckle of his own ringing through the room.
he turns, wrapping his arms around you and pulling you into his chest. he’s warm, and his arms instantly make your eyes feel slightly heavy—sleeping without sakusa by your side is probably your least favorite experience, as evident from your tossing and turning all night.
“you were really mean to me,” he pouts.
“oh, look who’s back,” you tease, poking the tip of his nose. “and i know, i’m sorry baby. i’ll try to be less snappy next time.” tilting your head up, you press a delicate kiss to his jaw.
“and you call me grumpy,” he says—and of course, it’s in a grumpy tone, but you decide not to point it out.
“well, in my defense, you should’ve known i was in a bad mood. that’s your job as my boyfriend.”
“i didn’t sign up to be a mind reader,” he rolls his eyes. and just like every night, sakusa carefully pulls the covers over your body, making sure you’re carefully tucked in before pressing a sweet kiss to your forehead. you smile, a wave of emotion hitting you at his actions.
loving him is so easy, and you can’t imagine ever stopping.
“hey, you never said i love you back,” you pout, poking his chest. he swats your hand away, closing his eyes and tugging you closer.
“go to sleep,” he grumbles. and, with pure fondness and a soft tone he reserves only for you, he mumbles out, “i love you too. jerk.”
it’s a shame the pettiness holds no exceptions for even you, however.
back on my reposting from old blog bullshit
they get super flustered when you tuck their hair behind their ear. they stutter over their words and their face flushes a pretty red. it’s the cutest thing in the world, you do it randomly to catch them off guard.
kageyama, atsumu, hinata (both!!), oikawa, yamaguchi, sakusa, tsukishima, goshiki, tendou, koganegawa (he’s the cutest TT), kyotani, & yaku
same thing but instead they do it to you. they do it when you’re super focused on something or when you’re talking passionately about something. they don’t do it to get you flustered or anything (well maybe a little bit), they just really love to admire you.
akaashi, iwaizumi, kenma, kuroo (def both), bokuto, matsukawa, makki, ushijima, osamu, suna, aran, semi (maybe both??), & komori
note: ik some ppl’s hair might not be long enough to tuck but i just love the gesture itself SM !!
irrational
feat. Akaashi
note: insecurity
It’s been a couple of days since anyone’s seen you. You had this habit to seemingly drop off the face of the earth and avoid everyone around you.
At the same time, you were absolutely hoping that someone took notice of your absence to check up on you. But of course no one did. You knew it too. You couldn’t just throw yourself into seclusion and expect others to know what your exact feelings were if you didn’t express them in the first place.
But in a moment where you were feeling absolutely empty, would there be any space for rationality?
Keep reading
zhongli/f.reader
genre: morax/zhongi, immortal!cursed!reader, miko/shrinemaiden!reader, angst, hurt/comfort(?), slow burn, reunion, traveler is NOT y/n, implied xiao/traveler,
warning(s)!!: mentions of: death/repetitive deaths, war, past suicides, the suffering of immortality in a mortal body, for the sake of this fic dragonflies are semi-common in teyvat/liyue lol, xiao considers zhongli/reader parental figures, things will definitely not follow canon timelines, Xiao is a frequent/important character, characters may be ooc (im sorry)
w.count: 15.6k (i am so sorry)
SYNOPSIS: fate and time are cruel kings ruling over even gods. morax is no exception. the only human he ever fell in love with was twisted by fate to battle him in a brewing war. the image of the burning temple that she resided in rested behind his eyelids and not a day goes by that he does not still mourn and yearn. time had cruelly taken you away from him. or... had it?
“Hello Traveler!” The soft yet chipper voice of the ever-pranking funeral director calls out from behind the blond Outworlder. The day in Liyue was still young and bright as the umber-clad young lady walks up to both them and Paimon who had floated herself bouncily from the Traveler’s right shoulder to the left.
“Oh,” Paimon begrudgingly acknowledges, form bobbing in the air comfortably. “It's Hu Tao.”
“Paimon,” Traveler scolds, crossing their arms over their chest. Paimon just sighs as the blond looks to the funeral director who had come close enough for conversion and unfolds their arms, bringing them down to their sides relaxingly. “Good to see you, Hu Tao,” they greet with a small nod.
“Indeed,” Hu Tao nods back, closing her eyes briefly in glee before reopening them. “It is lovely to see you. Are you here to visit Liyue? Or, perhaps another pressing matter brought you back to this nation once again.”
“It’s nothing drastic,” Traveler dismisses. “We just.... had some time on our hands. So, we’re just visiting.” Partially, that was the truth. However, the full truth was that there was most definitely something the pair could be doing instead of wandering around Liyue. But it was important to take time for yourself sometimes, right?
“Well, feel free to stop by the Wangsheng Funeral Parlor if you’re interested! I’d be happy to host the both of you for a meal.”
“You mean, Zhongli would host us?” Paimon quips up knowing that, as Hu Tao’s consultant, Zhongli’s job descriptions can vary in terms of tasks. However, when Paimon spoke Hu Tao lifted her arms up towards herself. One wrapped around her chest and rested the elbow of her other, resting her curled fingers against her chin in thought.
“Perhaps, not this time. Zhongli has had something on his mind these days.” The woman brought her curled hand and arms back down, now gesturing them softly in front of her as she spoke more. “It would feel distasteful to ask him to host guests at the moment.”
The mention of Zhongli being mentally occupied made the Traveler and Paimon look at each other. They were privy to a lot of information the consultant kept tucked away from public knowledge- for good reason. The staged death of Morax for one. Although Hu Tao had once speculated that Zhongli could possibly be an Adeptus, she surely didn’t know that she wasn’t exactly far off from a bullseye.
Still, the fact that Zhongli, the former Lord of Geo, was distracted so much that Hu Tao had essentially dismissed him of some of his duties was a concerning thought. He never seemed the type to dwell so much on something that it obstructed his work.
“I’ve tried asking him about it before,” Hu Tao continues, “since he gets like this around the same time every year. All he’s ever spoken to me about it is that someone he knew from his past had died around this time. It felt… wrong to pry into his past more for some reason.” It wasn’t an odd statement coming from her. She often took her work very seriously, even if she herself was a spitfire of a young lady.
“Someone from his past died?” Paimon asked, already knowing about his past with the Adepti and The Seven. Perhaps, it had something to do with them? Either way, the concern was planted in the Traveler’s chest, so it felt only natural to find the ex-Archon and try and get some answers out of him. Maybe, since the pair had already known about his identity it would be easier to talk about. Or, that was the hope at least.
Hu Tao and the Traveler spoke briefly for a moment longer with the usual snarky comment from Paimon before going their separate ways. Hu Tao had apparently been on her way out to fulfil a clients few specific requests and her stop for a chat was pushing to make her behind on her work. Paimon didn’t mind if she went on her way sooner rather than later, the dealing with the dead had always been creepy to the floating companion.
Regardless, Hu Tao was a nice lady. Traveler would make sure to stop by and see her more, maybe indulge her hobby of poetry a bit.
The two had walked around the busy streets of Liyue for a while trying to find Zhongli. He wasn’t at the funeral parlor, much to their dismay at making it an easy search, so they just starting wandering hoping to catch him somewhere along the way. Soon enough, they had wandered just far enough to catch a glimpse of his long brown tailcoat at Liyue Harbor.
In retrospect, they should have started their search here if the funeral parlor was a bust.
Zhonglig stood with his hands tucked neatly into each other behind his back, shoulders slack as he looked out over the landscape. He was basking in the solitude at the top arch of the harbor’s bridge when he hear the approaching sounds of footsteps. Turning his chin, he unclasped his hands and let his arms fall from his back before turning to greet the approaching Traveler.
“Ah,” his deep voice reverberates and only the closest to him can detect the faux sound of a choked strain in it. “Greetings, Traveler.”
“Hello, Zhongli!” Paimon greets floating just a fraction ahead of Traveler. “What were you doing?” She already begins to pry with a suspiciously high-strained voice. It just makes Traveler silently sigh and shake their head. She really needed to work on being more conspicuous.
It’s quiet for a moment before Zhongli already catches on. Perhaps he can be a bit dense about certain aspects of the mortal realm, but he was by no means a fool. A smile finds its way on his lips in a moment of mild amusement at Paimon’s grace, or rather lack thereof.
“I was merely lost in thought. Reminiscing about the past, you could say.”
“The past?” She pressed again.
“Paimon,” the Traveler hisses for the second time that day. The floating girl just opened her jaw in mock offense before floating closer to them.
“What? What did Paimon say now!”
Zhongli’s low chuckle was a soft tune that at least showed he wasn’t offended by the blatant attempt at coaxing his thoughts out of his lips.
“Did the Director send you to find me perhaps?” The fact that he was trying to slowly steer the conversation away wasn’t lost to the Traveler. Paimon and them both looked back to Zhongli shaking their heads.
“Not exactly,” Traveler starts.
“We did run into her though,” Paimon tacks on. “She told us you had been down in the dumps, so we came to check on you!” Paimon’s small hands came to her hips and her chest puffed out as if proud of her actions of checking in with a friend.
Zhongli chuckles once again at the way Traveler places their hands on their hips as well,. Though, they were instead sending a playful scowl at the back of Paimon’s head.
“It is quite refreshing to see the two of you bicker,” he chides. “It certainly helps in easing the mind.” Once more, the two’s attention was drawn back to the former god.
“So,” Traveler starts before Paimon could interject with something else, “there is something on your mind?” There was a growing fit of silence between the group of three, no one speaking in fear of shattering something they couldn’t exactly describe. Zhongli seemingly caved with a minuscule sigh kept more to himself than the harbor’s breeze.
“The assumption that I’ve been a bit… preoccupied is correct. Lately, it seems I cannot focus on certain tasks for too long. My mind has a bit of a tendency to wander around this time of year.” Zhongli can already see the look of curiously mixed with concern written into the eyes of both Paimon and Traveler. His own eyes flick around the bridge and beyond the harbor’s main port before returning back to his visitors. “If you’re very interested to know, then I would not mind trying to explain it all over some tea. Though, it would be best if we took the topic of conversation elsewhere.”
The sudden shift in his demeanor was almost palpable. It was like a cloak of grey mist started to waft around his very being at the mention of speaking his mind. Now that the two outsiders got the confirmation that whatever it was that was plaguing him was of the past he doesn’t let others know of, they were ready for a lengthy story.
Zhongli had graciously invited the Traveler and Paimon to his personal abode, a place they had never even set eyes on. Of course, they knew he had to have had a place to stay and sleep, but for some reason it felt like all he ever did was walk around Liyue, do his work at the funeral parlor, or listen to stories at the Third-Round Knockout. It shouldn’t have been a shock to know he had his own home, but all the same, it was.
It was simplistic inside, with the shelves being the only things of high value because of all the collected items he had bought and stored on them. Gesturing them both to a set of chairs between a table, he began brewing tea to serve as promised.
Traveler sat awkwardly at first. Shuffling around in their chair while Paimon floated around the open space of the house being nosier than she should’ve been truthfully. Still, Zhongli didn’t say anything about her snooping so she continued to do so until the homeowner returned with a tray in his hands.
A decorative teapot sat in the middle of the dark, wooden tray atop a plain towel; the steam of the hot, freshly brewed tea wisped out gracefully from its spout. Beside it were three small teacups placed upside down that clattered with the smallest sounds of finely made clay as he set the tray in the center of the table. Along with them was a small dish of cubes of sugar and a small creamer that held milk inside it.
Zhongli skillfully took the teacups and flipped them over, setting them all upright and easily pouring the exact same amount of tea into each. The brew was dark and the steam wafted around the tabletop before dissipating into the air only to be replaced immediately with more. He slid two cups toward Traveler and the other to Paimon once she stopped her floating around and settled once again as the third member of the current party. He offered the milk and sugar to the two of them as well.
“I prefer my tea black, but please help yourselves.” Zhongli settled into his own seat easily. One arm resting on the arm of his perch and the other on the table top to curl his fingers around the cup he had prepared for himself. His legs crossed out of habit and it was then that the Traveler realized he had taken off his tailcoat. It was purely out of habit to take it off when he had arrived to the privacy of his own home, and he didn’t even realize it himself- not that it mattered. It was simply a different look than they were used to.
Paimon began dropping sugar cubes into her cup a bit too clumsily as small droplets splashed on her hand from the objects breaching the liquid causing her to yelp. In turn, the two seated companions offered her chuckles of amusement as she blew on her hand. Of course, it was hardly an injury- it was more a fright than a burn.
“It’s hot,” Zhongli chided.
“Gee, you think!” She then started dropping in cube after cube much more delicately. Or, rather she would drop them from the same height as before but immediately fly away when she let go so the upcoming splash wouldn’t touch her again. The Traveler made their own additions to their tea as well, but much less messily.
The three settle into a comfortable silence filled with small sips of tea and clicks of returning cup to wooden table top. That is, until Zhongli broke it by placing a small wooden box on the table in front of him to join in with the teatray and it’s accessories.
It was an elegant box the size of his fist. Golden edges wrapped in angular designs and a locked latch in the front of it. On the top of the lid was the symbol of a Geo Vision. At first, the two travelers thought that maybe this box is what he stored his fake Vision in when it wasn’t on his person. Pulling a small key from under his long-collared shirt, he unlocked the box and opened the lid. From where the Traveler sat with the lid facing them, they still couldn’t get a peek inside.
The last thing they expected Zhongli to pull out of the cushioned, plush lined box was a hair ornament.
Modeled in the shape of a dragonfly, the piece was carefully handled by the ex-archon and placed so very delicately on the table. The wings of the dragon fly were filled with a crystal that shone green and teal, the colors shifting with the light and angle as which it was gazed upon. The piece itself was designed as a hairstick, acting as an elegant means to pen up locks of hair- the metal rod of the stick seemed well suited for such a job. Matching teal-green crystal beads hung from the bottom tips of each wing as decorative tails.
It was a beautiful piece to gaze at.
Zhongli kept his hand on the table right next to it, his fingertips just a breath away from touching it again. When Paimon got a bit too close while gazing at it, Traveler could see the slightest twitch run through his fingers. As if the ex-Archon was anxious about Paimon getting too close to it. Still, to not be rude he said nothing as she continued to narrowing gawk.
“Paimon, back up a little,” Traveler said, sitting forward a bit to try and act like they were trying to get a better look while simultaneously trying to get Paimon to back off a bit. When Paimon floated back to her place by her teacup, Zhongli’s shoulders loosened like he was relieved at the distance between the reckless floating fairy and this clearly important item.
“You were curious on what has been on my mind, yes? This is a one reason I’ve been rather… absent as of late.”
“You’ve been spacing out over a hairstick?” Paimon asked astonishingly. Zhongli shook his head.
“Not quite.” His fingers uncurled and genly brushed over one of the beaded tails, letting the crystals bump over his fingertips. His eyes softened, yet that cloak of grey melancholy came back to him. “It’s more about who this was going to belong to.”
Traveler and Paimon both had questions, but remained silent. They both settled into their respective places ready to listen to the story he was surely about to unweave. They knew that the tea would grow cold and kettle drank empty by the time it was all finished. Though, the look in his eyes and the way his voice grew softer in a way that pulled at the heart made the eternity of sitting in one place much easier to bare.
“This ornament was going to be a gift to someone I knew a very long time ago. I never had the chance to give it too her, however; so, I keep it here with me where it is safe. I cannot bare to throw it out, even after all this time.”
It seemed crazy, how the two swore his eyes had grown misty just saying those few sentences. How this story is going to start all because of a crystal dragonfly from millenia past.
There were many places that had been tainted and driven to ruin due to the war raging by the Archons. Gods were battling each other for power, others trying to flee from another’s unjustly wrath. Some even tried defending their people instead of taking place in battles or retreating. It was chaos and there were few corners of the old world of Teyvat that wasn’t splattered in a thick muck of bloodshed.
Still, that didn’t mean everywhere had been tainted. No. This fact rang true as Morax had discovered one fateful day a small territory cleansed of blood and impurity.
Hidden behind a barrier he had stumbled upon in the middle of a half dead forest, the invisible viel hid everything beyond it from sight. In fact, if he hadn’t happened to be near it, the Archon probably wouldn't have noticed it in the first place. The barrier itself easily gave and allowed him passage inside which led him to believe it was more of a mask than a shield.
Walking through it led him to a forest of lush floral and trees that thrived surrounding a small section of land that housed no more than 500 people perhaps. A small village with huts scattered around plots of farmland and a rather luxurious palace atop it all. It was a farcry from the near-deathly state of the outside world and the whiplash of it made him momentarily wonder if he was somehow succumbing to some sort of hallucination.
Morax walked through the dirt paths all the way until the thick wall that cut off the eastern styled palace from the rest of the people. Walls tall and made of a stone the God of Geo had to have created at somepoint. The craftsmanshift of it was marvelous he had to admit as there was not the slightest crack between the stacked stone. Easily vaulting himself onto the tall wall, he gazes beyond it’s perimeter.
Inside of the sturdy walls, he could see six different buildings. Along the two side walls of stone stood two houses each. Two west and two east, separate yet built so similar he could easily mistake the four as clones of each other if not for his experienced eyes that had seen such fine details over his life. Connecting these four abodes from west to east were grey, stone paths. The same cobblestone led beyond the front gate he had forwent as he perched atop the wall and led straight forward to a single building that was larger than the rest. Morax assumed that was the main estate just from the grandeur of it compared to the lacking other four.
Though, the final building is harder for the curious immortal to see. It was built directly behind the main estate, no doubt also connected with the same clean stone paths that weaved through the courtyards. All Morax could see of this building was it’s roof, the same tiled and burned color as the high status homes around it.
Morax straightened his body from it’s crouched position and began to gracefully walk along the stone wall. Getting new angles of the buildings inside, he soon grew close enough to the main estate that he easily lept to it’s roof. Landing as if the air lessened his weight, he could now view that one single building he hadn’t yet more clearly.
Immediately, the Archon recognized it as a temple that without a doubt housed priests and priestess alike. Some may be masters at their craft and others may be but small, inexperienced fledgings beyond those sacred walls.
The idea of a temple like that in an uncharted and untainted territory flared his curiosity. So much so, he was hardly in control of his instincts as he once more lept gracefully from the estate’s rooftop onto the stone paths. His barefeet made a sound of collision when his heels touched the man-made path, and continued to make the same shuffling sounds as he walked straight into the temple.
Morax did not run into a single person in the temple, though he could hear matras and practices from around different open training fields. Even the soft plunks of arrows being driven into targets for archery precision and the chiming of bells for cleansing. The open halls of the temple and the roof over his head that kept the sun’s heated glare from his figure felt comforting.
Being in a place so filled with peace and sounds of anything but war was outlandish to the otherwise warrior-type god. Morax had contracts to fulfill and his own principals to protect while fending off other gods trying to level his unnamed throne. Taking out a few of his own violation never did any harm to strengthen his gag between himself and others.
The god had walked so freely that he soon found himself under the sun again. Instead of in the open halls of marble floors and burgundy columns, Morax was standing amidst a field of wild grass, flowers, trees, and bushes. It was like the lush forest outside the stone perimeter allowed a single bit of it’s ecosystem inside the temple just for the mortals to bask in.
A small humming of wings quickly caught Morax’s attention amidst the sounds of the wind’s breeze and dancing leaves. His chin led his head in the direction before coming to see a small dragonfly hovering around him before landing on his shoulder. The view of the insect was neary cut off by the hood he always wore over his head, but the bug itself was peaceful just resting it’s wings on the god’s shoulder for respite.
For a moment, the warrior of countless battles felt relief. For just that moment, the weight of such responsibility with his temperament lifted all because a small insect decided to rest on him.
The dragonfly’s respite did not last. The little critter’s wings began to hum again and soon began to hover off and before Morax could stop his feet, he found himself following it. Bare feet stepping over well worn paths of flattened grass and dirt patches. Not long from where had previously stood, he stopped at seeing where the small insect had flown to in lieu of himself.
The eyes of the archon landed on the first person Morax had seen since entering this temple- although uninvited, presence unknown and undetected. Reaching out a delicate hand with her index finger extended, the dragonfly landed easily on the appendage.
A priestess knelt elegantly in the tall grass, previously inspecting herbs when she heard the familiar buzz of wings. The hakama pants that folded at her legs were neatly pleaded without a crease out of place and her kosode tucked perfectly into the trousers- not a wrinkle to critque. Her hair had been loosing tied back with a red hair ribbon that fluttered in the breeze that kept the tall grass swaying like waves of spring.
The wind picked up when the dragonfly lifted off her fingers and off back towards Morax. It was like the little creature had led him straight to her and was now directing her vision back so they could meet each other’s gaze.
It was all thanks to that one, small bug that Morax and first made eye contact with you.
“Oh,” your small voice of surprise- at seeing such an odd looking man in the overgrown, private gardens of the temple- carried on the same wind that the dragonfly danced in. You stood and dusted off your knees, knocking any sticking dirt off your bottoms before standing up properly. You inspected the man in front of you.
Arms dark as earth with cracks of glowing gold. Clad in a white cloak that split five ways down and encompassed with a golden belt at his waist with a hood pulled over his head. The hair you could see whipping lightly in the wind behind his back was dark in color matching his arms. His trousers were wide open and baggy around his legs, only encasing snuggly around his ankles. His impressive stature gained your attention easily and you could tell he wasn’t exactly something mortal. It would be ridiculous to think just at the sight of his arms alone, not to mention the air around him seemed so… powerful.
“My apologies, I wasn’t aware we were expecting a guest today,” the courteous smile you sent him made him wonder if you weren’t at least a little apprehensive of his unexpected presence.
“You weren’t made aware because no one aside from yourself is aware of my being here.”
“I see,” you muse. “I hope you are aware that qualifies you as a trespasser.”
“Trespasser?” Morax gapped, losing his composure for a moment. His brows dipped in offense under his hood, his pride kicking into his throat through his words. “I am no such being.”
“Ah, but aren’t you just? You said yourself, no one knows you’re here. Yet, you end up in the presence of this temple’s Miko. If that does not mean you’re trespassing, what does?” Morax’s eyes hidden under his hair and flick from your head to your feet and back up again. You were the head shrine maiden? You seemed so young and yet you held such an important position? It planted a pebble of doubt in him.
Then again, if he focused on you properly, he could barely see a small circular arua around your frame. It was like a barrier was placed around you, one protected you from the outside and anything that could taint you. Exactly like the barrier surrounding the territory he had more or less invaded. Honing your spiritual power like that so young, he would’ve perhaps tutted in impressiveness if you hadn’t challenged his very being moments ago.
Still, Miko or not, he still outranked you. Crossing his arms over his chest, their golden geo pulsed with a soft light.
“With such a rank you possess, are you still so unaware when a God stands before you? A pity.”
“On the contrary,” you smile to him and his brow again twitches at your nonchalance. “I’m being quite respectful if you think on it. If you were simply a noble who lives among the palace homes, I would’ve quickly dealt with you since only a select few from outside are allowed entry into the temple. Much less this garden which is private and limited to my attendance only.”
“Are you implying you could force me away at any moment should you please?” His voice grew tight in challenge. His sense of traquilty from before discovering you was dimming and the frigid air of his battle sense were returning even as the wind continued to caress you both.
“I assure you I would do no such thing. I’m simply proving that even in the presence of a God, I will not yield since I do not even know which is in front of me. Not to mention, this land has no God to speak of or for. So, if you think about it that way, I am where one would hypothetically stand.”
Oh.
Morax felt something stir in his chest at the teasing tilt in your voice that spilled over your lips that curled into a smile. Your eyes were so clean and clear, it was like staring into crystals and he had the urge to create a new form of geo just to replicate them. The feeling was foreign to him, but it shocked him greatly when he realized it wasn’t an unwelcome stir.
He finally dropped his crossed arms and began to decrease the distance between you both. Morax came to stand in front of you so he could get an even better look at your features. As such, you could now look easily under his hood as he stood above you. His eyes seemed to glow a lovely shade of amber that complemented his glowing, golden skin and dark hair.
“Address me as, Morax,” he instructed. Your taunting smile turned soft and wide as your eyes closed in the most pleased expression he had seen in years. His amber eyes widened at the innocence and the small bells of laughter that left your throat towards him shook his unshakeable core.
“That’s much better,” you said, now obviously pleased. “I’m, y/n. It’s an honor to meet you, Morax.”
It was his name rolling off your tongue- spreading into the wind that had blown harshly for but a moment- that sent an earthquake that started at his chest and spread through his whole body. It was the sound of his own death sentence and he was once again shocked at how he easily accepted that he would definitely be back to this temple. Be back to this garden of overgrown grass and floral.
Morax would definitely be back to you.
As promised, Morax had been back to that temple several times since the first time he met you. When the weight of the archon war was- ironically- too heavy, or if he needed a place to escape just for a moment he would seek you out. It was quiet ridiculous how you had somehow wormed your way into his very soul and wrapped him around your finger.
The Lord of Geo had come to learn much about you in the time he spent by your side. Your favorite flowers and scents, when you had started your priestess training, when you had progressed to the skill level you possess now and how long you had been the acting miko of the temple. Your favorite type of weather, or time of day, or season. In turn, he had confessed things about himself as well.
How he had been around for as long as the world- or so it sometimes felt that way. How he’s in the middle of a grand and merciless war with other gods presumably because of issues to do with celestia. How he had taken many lives of both mortals and gods alike all for the sake of his own land and people. The very feeling of battle is engraved in his bones like names on a tombstone, yet it didn’t seem to push you away.
It was laughable. The very Being of war and battle was utterly infautated with you, a mortal being of purity and values. Of course, you were alway assure him that what he did was just his own values, especially his strictness with any contract he made. You neved judged him for his sins and the weight they carried, but you never outwardly agreed with him either. You told him what he needed to hear, not what he wanted and he cherished those words so dearly. If he had any less self-restraint, Morax could easily let himself take your very words as law itself.
Yet again, it was another day he had left his duties behind him as he found you kneeling in the fields of grass once again. Leaping from the outerwalls, to the rooftops of the estate, to the roof of the temple, he easily lands like a pebble hitting sand next to you. It was the rush of air beside you that alerted you of his attendance rather than any sound he made- or didn’t make.
“Hello again, Morax,” you greet as you thumb through the herbs and check the petals of nearby wildflowers. Morax kneels at your side before sitting fully in the grass, one of his knees bent up to prop his arm on with the other stretched out in front of him. A rather relaxed position you had insisted he use instead of kneeling for however long he visits would last.
“Good afternoon,” he replies. It’s silent for a while after that. The atmosphere of simply being with you was good enough for Morax. That was until the urge to speak and hear you speak in return hit his throat. “Your people seem more rowdy than usual.” He didn’t need super-enhanced senses to tell that the noise had increased since his last visit.
“You can tell that even though you’ve never properly been inside?”
“I have been inside.”
“No one knew that thought,” you tease with a finger that flicked back and forth a few times. “So, it isn’t a proper stroll in my temple.” Morax playfully chuckles at your antics. “You are correct though.”
“Is there a reason?” He had noticed it since he arrived, but the air around you seemed heavy. “Something seems to be weighing on you.”
“You’re perceptive. I suppose I shouldn’t be shocked about that considering-”
“Y/n.”
You sigh before the hand that had been thumbing at flower petals falls back into the tresses of wild grass and to the ground at your side.
“The monks are gathering in a rush under Master Jiang’s orders.” Morax’s brow furrows at the information. You had mentioned this Master Jiang before. He was apparently a traveling monk that had previously been nomadic. Though, since the archon war had only gotten worse over the course of time, he had settled in the safety of your barrier and subsequently in your temple.
On the rare occasions you let your irritations get the best of you, you spilled your guts to Morax about how he was constantly chanllenging your power and position in the temple. Thinking he was better because he was older with more experience beyond the protective walls of your home. Along with the misguided misogyny of being a man. It was one thing after another, spouting off about anything that irked you until you got all your curses off your lips in the privacy of the archon.
Morax had not met this Jiang- not to mention anyone else outside of you inside the temple sense his visits weren’t exactly documented- but he already strongly disliked him. Now, he was trying to taking charge of your temple?
“For what purpose.” You do no respond to him right away and it sends a jolt through his nervous system. “Y/n. For what purpose,” he repeats with a heavier tone. You let out a sigh that feels as heavy as your aura as you sit in the field of wildgrass and flowers with the closest being to your heart.
“He’s afraid that we’re going to soon be effected by the war as well.” You didn’t need to specify which war, he was more than well aware which you were referring to.
Among the other things he had learned about you, he had come to understand why your people were save from the archon’s destruction so far. It was because of you and your power.
Inside the temple was a specific place for you to practice your skills and keep the barrier around your precious home. That didn’t showcase all you could do, however and Morax knew it. Keeping the living things inside safe and keeping all the taint out. If something did happen to get inside your barrier, you were quickly dispatched to purify it. You could tell the moment something breached your safe haven, all the proof he needed as his first appearance to you.
You had admitted ot him once that the reason you didn’t immediately cast him out was simply because you didn’t feel any hostility from his presence. He had no intention on hurting your people or home, so you allowed him access in. That barrier was an extension of your power; constant proof you were so much stronger than that stupid old monk was trying to plat down.
Morax had only heard the sound of your birch tree bowstring plucked once before, and the air instantly felt cleaner. He’d heard bells in the distant halls while he waited for you in the treetops of your private garden to avoid the chance of being seen. While with you, he had picked up on a masking you placed over him so he couldn’t be detected by others and kept safe from prying eyes. Your power still astonished him even after all this time.
“That’s asinine,” he growled. The whole ordeal of it all just set the message that they didn’t trust you and your abilities. After all you had done since you were a child to protect these people, after everything you’ve sacrificed, and they’re doubting you now? When your powers were in their prime? It was insulting.
“Morax-”
“Do not try and save their value but udnermining your own.”
“I’m not!” You cry in exasperation. You let out another sigh before letting your body lean into his shoulder and against his propped up leg. Morax froze up as your body softly collided with his own. While you had him attached to your very being, hook line and sinker, he had never once touched you. Not a single brush of his fingertips to your body or even allowing your legs to touch as you sat side by side.
The side of his body you rested on felt like a volcano on his geo-ingraved skin.
“Sorry,” you whisper. “Could I stay like this just for a moment longer?”
His arm that you leaned against came to wrap around your shoulder and push your head further against him. The archon lowered his leg to join the other on the ground just so he could have you closer to him. His chin rested by your forehead and he closed his eyes letting you invade every one of his senses. Squeezing your form as he felt the trembles you tried to conceal and force to stay inside, not letting yourself break as much as he wanted you to. Morax wanted you to feel safe and open with him, but he understood all too well how difficult a task that was as someone of your strict upbringing.
“Stay here as long as you need. I will not move.” Morax was geo, the land itself. He created mountains and stone and they all know his name. He was a god of contracts and his words were just as serious as those that he holds so strictly to them. The Lord of Geo would stay your unyielding pillar for as long as you needed him. That he promised to himself as he felt your small drops of tears silently fall onto his chest that he dare not mention. The urge to wipe them away and treasure you like a fragile bell ached within him, but he dare not act on those either.
For but a brief moment, Morax- the Geo Archon- wished for a single second he was mortal. That he was like you.
Morax had no idea how this happened. What had gone wrong? Was it him? Did his sudden intrusion into your life of purity ruin everything? As a god, did his divine hands finally touch something he was never meant to?
Weeks ago you had urgently awaited his normal time of arrival but as soon as he showed, you urgently told him to leave. To leave the temple, the palace, the barrier- all of it- and never come back. You had demanded he return to the world he knew, the one filled with smoke and war and ongoing conquests. His chest filled with thick, black tar as you screamed at him and he did what any sane being would do. Morax screamed back, unable to understand and he was losing his patience bit by bit.
The Archon wanted answers, none of which he demanded for were satisfing. The monks had finally discovered that you had been meeting with an outsider from beyond the barrier; to make matters worse, they knew it was Morax who had been active in the outside war since it begun. They were focring you to make a decision and the best course of action was to push him away before things got too out of hand and would be to a point where you could do nothing.
It made no sense to Morax. He could help, he was certain of it. He’d let you direct him, use him how you like and pull his actions like a puppet on willing strings. He’d follow your every order to the letter if you just wouldn’t force him out and shun him like you were desperately trying to do.
You wouldn’t yield.
Morax hated your stubbornness now more than ever. You finally forced him away with a bracellet you had made yourself that was nothing but clear-ringing, golden bells threaded with red string. The sound they made amplified your power and he knew at just the meresight of them you were trying to make him leave.
With one flick of your wrist, he could feel invisible threads of nothing wrap around his limbs and begin to tug. Once more he tried to reason something- anything- out of you, but was met with nothing but a second ring of bells that yanked his whole being out of your barrier. Forced out and finding himself outside, he was furiously frustated. Summoning his polearm, he let out a cry before thrusting it into and then subsequently through the neearst tree effectively slicing it down.
Your final words to him stay in his ears like a parasite- pounding against his eardrums so violently he was afraid they'd burst if they continued to torment him.
“If you ever return, I will have no choice but to take further actions, Morax.”
Morax had to stay away from you. It’s what you wanted; or maybe it wasn’t your wish- but it’s what you said. What you demanded he do. Still, he didn’t know when this happened. Morax didn’t know when he decided that the last thing he would ever do is stay away.
Therefore, Morax still returned into your barrier and through your territory. Just as you had said, you were true to your words.
The moment you felt his presence trespass inside your barrier, you evacuated the palace and with the same bells you sent him away with, you summoned him back. It was like he was teleported with magic, the same invisble strings that had yanked him out now drew him in. The ringing of your bells reverated in his ears before he was standing in that same overgrown field.
Morax stood in the one spot he first saw you and you took presence in the spot he had found you kneeling. This time, there were no dragonflies humming in the air and something in him knew there never would be again.
“I told you,” you choked.
“I refuse to listen to a moral’s orders,” he bit back. It was a lie. He said he’d listen to your every word, and he meant it. Even when his desperate pleas to stay by you landed him nowhere by alone.
Morax knew there was only one option left as he eyed the staff in your hand. Your grip was so tight around it your hand trembled with the sheer force of it. Your head shook with micro-swivels on your neck as you kept your eyes on the ground.
“You should have.” Morax’s polearm materialized at his side in a moment before he took it’s familiar grip into his palm. He had only ever told you of his weapon, never wanting to show you in case it tainted you somehow. All that silly precaution seemed so pointless now.
The gentle breeze he was accustomed to had become bone chilling as you lifted your chin to finally look at him. Morax almost caved seeing your angry tears, but as you moved to engage in battle, he let his body move on it’s own. The god who was so accustomed to battle just wanted to shut his brain off for this one.
Morax didn’t want to do this.
The battle between you both was a long one. You screamed at each other. Sometimes words, sometimes just sounds of angusih and pain. You knew Morax was holding back on you, you didn’t have the power to fully stop a god and you knew it. Morax knew it. Whether he was holding back because of his affections for you or because he was toying with you, you couldn’t figure it out. The power of your barrier did limit his abilities some, but it was hardly enough to be considered a handicap.
Still, somehow, you had knocked his polearms from his hand before you forced him onto his back into the grass.
His cloack was torn and his arms of geo-glowing beauty seemed dim and dark like the shadow cast over his eyes. His hood had been knocked back while his hair was tosseled and battleworn. Your body and his were covered in cuts and burns and scrapes. Everything hurt from inside your body to the outside.
You had him on his back as you climbed over him. Your legs pinned his arms down and your weight sat on his chest, the bottom of your staff pushing into his throat as your labored breaths shook throughout your whole body. All you had to do with lift your staff just a fraction and slam it back down and you could do some major purifying damage to his body. It probably wouldn’t kill him… but what if it did? Did you have it in your to purify a god? Maybe if you tried, it would take all your strength and you could die together. You almost scoff at yourself-
-wouldn’t that be just poetic.
You could feel his own chest heaving under your weight and you knew he could easily throw you off him if he wanted to. Just like before though, he did nothing. He just lay in the grass beaten and battered as he glared beyond the staff’s pole into your face. You hated the look in his eyes.
“Will you not follow through?” He chastised with so much venom you wanted to vomit. The staff shook once with both of trembling hands holding it above his neck. You had to- it was your duty. You would be betraying your people if you let him live. For your people, for the cowardice monks who forced you here, for your ignorance for thinking you could keep Morax by your side without consequence. For everything you had trained for until now, you had to get rid of him. You had to!
Morax sucked in a breath as he readied his neck to be pulverized. Your staff came away from his throat… and soon your weight was being pushed off his body entirely. Raising to your shaking, exposed legs from your torn trousers, you took staggering steps backward from him. Morax’s glare morphed into shock as he raised to his elbows to watch you retreat.
“What-”
He watched your chest heave with frustrated tears. Choked, uneven sobs tore at your throat as you screamed before throwing your staff far from your grip. You heard it clank against Morax’s discarded polearm and thought for a moment how ironic it was. Your weapon reuinited with his in your moment of weakness- your lowest point of failure. The moment you threw duty away and chose yourself for once.
“I can’t,” you cry, falling to your knees into the singed and destroyed field that once flourished so wonderuflly. “Please, go,” you beg. Morax climbs to his feet, wincing at the wounds on his body before calling for his polearm again. Once it was again in his grip, he looked at the dried blood of yours that litered the blade. The Lord of Geo immedately dismissed it, watching it disapate into the air from whence he summoned it. He simply stood there, looking down at your crumbling frame.
What were you doing? You were going against your practices and willingly letting a supposed threat escape. He took one step in your diection, still so woefully attached to you. Watching you tear at the seams and keep unraveling in front of his very eyes. He was at a loss; what could he do to even begin to ease your suffering when he himself was part of it?
“No.” You could feel his eyes on you and his want to approach you burnt the top of your head at which he gazed. “Be gone.” You demand once again like the first day you chased him off. You didn’t hear him move and in a fit of nothing left, you tore off your bell bracellet and threw it in his direction. “Go back to where you belong!” And in a mere moment, his presence vanished and you broke completely. The eyes of the monks watched as you sobbed in the gardens, the battle they made you wage concluding with no victor.
“Zhongli…” the story behind the hairpiece and his grief was heavier than either Paimon or Traveler was expecting.
“I had planned to gift this to y/n during one of our meetings. I knew she wouldn’t be allowed to wear it of course,” he chuckled bitterly to himself. “For a great many of reasons. Still,” it would’ve proven to myself she was mine. Zhongli cleared his throat. “Regardless, I think I’ve spoken enough for once. The tea has run out and you both surely have other arrangements as the day is waning.”
“Paimon doesn’t think-”
“Then, we’ll be off,” Traveler interjects. Zhongli was just being polite but what he was really saying was that he wanted to be alone. “Thank you for telling us. Y/n sounded like a wonderful person.”
“Tis but a story.” The way he replied made it sound like he was trying to convince himself more than them. The two left his home, leaving him still sitting at the table with an empty teacup and still holding that crystal winged dragonfly like it was Teyvat’s most precious treasure.
It was quiet between Paimon and the Traveler as they walked aimlessly around Liyue. The Traveler’s mind boggled at the information they had been told and grew curious to any they hadn’t. They were almost certain that there was more to your story, but Zhongli couldn’t bare to say anymore.
“Wait,” Traveler stopped in the middle of the path, bringing their hand to cup around their mouth in thought. “That all happened during the Archon War, right?”
“Paimon thinks she remembers him mentioning that. Why?”
“Do you think Xiao would know anything about it?” Traveler thought about it, but if memory served Morax was the one who granted Xiao his name. As Paimon looked at the blond with wonder, a voice spoke behind them.
“You called?”
Paimon’s screech echoed into the air as the Traveler spun around, not expecting the very apedtus to show up. Xiao sure took the calling of his name seriously.
“Paimon never-” the floating companion looked to the blonde. “Oh, yeah. I guess we kinda did.” Xiao crosses his arms as he stands expectantly. The daytime hours were few in remaints and the streets began to slowly thin in populous, so he was less reserved about being around people, Though, he still didn’t want to linger either. Regardless of his wants, he noticed the air of tensity around you both.
“Did something happen.” It wasn’t a question, it hardly was when Xiao was involved.
“Do you know anything about a woman named y/n?” Xiao’s body when frigid as he dropped his arms and quickly stepped up to the both of you. Coming nearly toe to toe as the Traveler squeaked and took a half step back.
“How do you know that name.” Once again, Xiao wasn’t asking. Traveler looked around and decided that standing in the middle of the road wasn’t the best place for this conversation.
“Let’s go somewhere else.”
The newly formed trio had migrated outside the city and out into the wilderness by a river. Xiao and Traveler took to sitting among stones, Xiao crossing his legs and Traveler letting their’s dangle. Paimon’s ever floating presence never going too far from the two. They sat and listened to the sound of the bable of running water, trying to find a way to reopen the previously halted conversation.
“Did Rex Lapis tell you about y/n?” Xiao ripped the bandage off first, something Traveler was almost thankful for. “That’s the only possible conclusion I can think of if you know her name since she wasn’t memorialized during her lifetime.”
“Yeah, he did. I’m pretty sure he chased us out before he could tell us everything though.” Xiao nodded. Earnest understanding shone in his eyes but there was something else behind those irises of his, but the Traveler couldn’t figure out what it was. “Did you knew her too, Xiao?” He nodded again.
“Not long after Morax found me and gave me my name, I found out that he was frequently paying visitation to a mortal woman. I thought he was being reckless, so he took me to meet her one day.”
“He took you himself?” Paimon questioned.
“Yes. He wanted to prove a point.”
Xiao could still remember his first impression of you. You had scolded Morax as soon as he landed in the familiar garden, arms crossed and mouth opening in reprimands. Calling him foolish for bringing a highly detectable entity beyond your barrier- one he didn’t even realize he had breached with his archon- and that if you hadn’t masked his spiritual signal just like how you did with his own, he’d be in a world of trouble.
Seeing Morax take your scolding as he stood there bemused, Xiao’s first thought was that he did not like you. He distrusted you. What kind of mortal argues with a god on what they can and cannot do like you did? It was ludicrous. Still, the moment Morax introduced him as his newest comrade named Xiao, you smiled at him. You sent along with that smile a warm welcome and he suddenly felt awkward.
“Xiao,” you called to his back before he was to leave with Morax at the need to return back outside your walls. He did not turn around to face you, but he did not move until you spoke again. “Feel free to come back and visit anytime. I’ll keep you covered.”
“Rex Lapis- Morax- was the one who saved me and gave me the name Xiao. I respect him and owe him a great deal- a debt I may not truly be able to ever repay in full. In mortal terms, some may say he’s like a father to me.” Xiao’s chin lifted up to the darkening sky. The day had felt so long, the Traveler hadn’t realized just how late it was beginning to get. “If Morax was a father, then y/n was my mother."
The yaksha can still remember the first time he had sought you out for himself without Morax with him he was recoiling from karmic debt. It didn’t take a genius to know that he felt lighter in your presence- your purifying light helping ease his burdensn whether you did so purposely or not.
It was late into the night when you had awoken abruptly from your sleep to the sensation of Xiao passing through the barrier. You sprung up from your futon, quickly focusing on his approach and cloaking him the best you could. His energy was rough, dark and pulsing and it worried you. You quickly made your way out to the garden where you knew he’d be and unshockingly enough was when you arrived.
Curled into himself on his knees, his arms wrapped around his torso as black smoke engulfed him like vines. Gasping and sweating, he weakly stay collapsed in the grass as you ran to his side.
“Xiao!” You whispered in anxiety as you knelt next to him, your eyes teary in fright. “What’s happening to you?” He didn’t answer, just shook his head with heavy, labored breaths. The moment, your hand came to rest on his back, his eyes rolled back with a fraction of his burden easing off his shoulders. Xiao slumped into you, his shoulder and neck pushing into your legs as his head rested partially on your stomach. His sudden collison knocked you back into the grass, your previously kneeling form now firmly planted on the ground.
“Please,” he gasped as your other hand had come to his shoulder that wasn’t pushing into your lap. “Please, could you… sing.” In truth, he wasn’t sure why he asked that of you. He didn’t know what possessed him to request something so odd, but regardless of the oddity, you did. Your mouth had opened and you slowly and softly began to sing him a lullaby he had never heard before that night.
It was like a blanket of early morning mist started to coat his burning, heavy body. His aching came to a slow stop as his mind became clearer. You sang the lullaby over and over again until the effects of his karmic debt had disappeared into the evening air. Even when he went completely lax on your lap and your hands had moved to run through his hair and across his back, you kept singing until early that next morning Morax had come to retrieve his missing Adeptus.
As Xiao in the present looked at the stars, tracing constellations, he once again was reminded of your lullaby. You sang that to him many times after that and he remembered every single instance. It wasn’t far-fetched to say that the reason Barbarto’s song’s calmed him so is because he’s reminded of you in those moments and tunes.
Yes, Xiao came to revere you just as much as his Archon- even though you were just a mere mortal.
“So,” Traveler spoke up softly, trying to gently pull him from his obvious reminiscing. “What happened to y/n? Zhongli mentioned that he had fought her, but what happened then? Did they ever see each other again?”
“No,” Xiao’s face contorted into a grimmance as his fist’s balled in his lap. “Y/n was executed before Morax could ever see her again.” His fists were so tightly balled they shook, clearly he still resented the fate you had been subjected to.
“Executed?!” Paimon exclaimed. “But- but why?!”
“Because she let Morax live.” The yaksha’s eyes narrowed as he gnashed his teeth. “Those filthy monks that poisoned her temple confined her to a dungeon cell where they starved and deprived her of anything. Letting her suffer for days before placinig a curse and executing her all because she refused kill an Archon.”
“Did those people really not like Archons that much?” Paimon asked.
“They were monsters!” He exclaimed. “Y/n had been raised to choose the people over her own desires, but the moment she wanted something for herself they-”
“Xiao,” Traveler interrupted, reaching out their hand to place it on his folded knee.
“She didn’t deserve the fate they gave her.” Traveler only nodded at his solemn tone. “When her execution was carried out, Morax… he reacted to an extreme.”
“An extreme?” Paimon inquires. Xiao nodded, lifting his head back up from where it had been tucked towards his chest in anger.
“The moment y/n’s barrier disappeared Morax stormed inside. He destroyed everything he could get his hands on. I… I was with him.” Xiao was enraged at the news of your demise, but he knew as he watched the back of his Archon as took the lives of the lowly monks who dared try to outrank you that the grief and emotions Morax felt course through him far outweighed his own.
By day's end, the entire palace, surrounding village, and temple were all up in flames or crushed into rubble. Standing among the burning wreckage that stunk of ash, blood and death Morax plunged his polearm into the earth and screamed with no one left to witness him aside from Xiao. Instead of trying to approach his archon, he instead kept his eyes on the remains of buildings going up in flames like a personal pyre in remembrance of you.
“After that, Morax stopped talking about her to anyone. It was like he pushed her into the recesses of his mind and tried to erase her altogether. With the meeting of other Archons and the assembly of Liyue, it seemed like he was trying to move forward.”
“Poor Zhongli,” Paimon whined. “Star crossed lovers sure are sad to think about.”
“To this day, there’s no one y/n has cared for as deeply as Morax.” At Xiao’s confession, Traveler’s ears perked. Did they hear that right?
“Hold on,” they started, “what do you mean ‘to this day’?” Xiao’s body stiffened. He cleared his throat before he looked away, hoping that silence would push past his slip up. “Xiao!”
“It meant nothing.”
“Liar.”
“I am not.”
“Paimon thinks so too!”
“Your input does not encourage much.”
“Hey!”
“Xiao,” Traveler tries again, arms crossing over their chest as they straighten their sitting posture on the stone they still sat on. Xiao cursed himself at deflating so easily in the face of the blond’s pressure.
The Adeptus took after his Archon in that sense it would seem.
“If you can keep it a secret,” he hesitated, “then I have somewhere to take you.” Xiao’s face turned back and looked the Traveler into the eyes. They could see just house uneasy his gaze was, yet still under it was a stern ‘this is important’ before everything else. They nodded deeply towards him and force another sigh from his lips. The two of them jump from their stone seats as Xiao points in a direction. “Then follow me.”
“Paimon can keep a secret too!”
“Somehow, I doubt that.” Still, Xiao let her follow him too. The more the merrier you’d say- or at least he hopes.
“I had no idea there was a place like this in Liyue!” Paimon exclaims after Xiao had taken both her and the Traveler along a path through the forests and into a clearing. After approaching what appeared to be nothing, his figured seemed to pass through something. The two who accompanied him both gawked at his sudden disappearance into thin air before he was reappearing from nowhere. ‘Hurry up,’ he had told them as they cautiously followed his once again disappearing back.
Beyond the boundary of nothingness was a fairly large home that was longer than the clearing thy where previously in. The path forward was lined with trees and during the daytime they provided comfortable shade for any who walked under them. Now though, they just casted nighttime shadows of moonlight. The air felt different from the forest’s air as well. As if it had been filtered through something and made even cleaner than normal.
Xiao walked with confidence through the path of trees and up the steps of the elongated home like he had done it a million times before. He didn’t even stop to check and make sure that both Traveler and Paimon were still behind him and hadn’t instead wandered off. The lanterns that lit the halls cast moving shadows along the walls and they danced off Xiao’s back as they continued to trail after his heels.
Soon, he came to a stop outside a set of doors before looking at Traveler briefly then back again. He knocked twice around the hardened sides of the doorframe and didn’t wait for any signs of noise before taking further action. Sliding them open, he stepped inside and the Traveler and Paimon naturally followed.
It was a large room, a small floor desk tucked away on one side littered with papers, books and ink. Another set of doors opposite from the ones he had just walked through led out to an open terrace that further pushed out into a stone garden. On the opposite side of the room was an unfurled, messy futon that lacked a body to rest inside it.
Xiao sighed at seeing the empty futon and made his way out the doors to the wooden terrace. Apparently he had found who he was looking for since he began to speak and it wasn’t to the Traveler.
“Why are you not resting?”
“How could I when I have visitors?” A voice answered him and it made the skin on the Traveler’s face flush. It sounded clear like bells and was as soft as a gentle stream. Holding such composure- it reminded them of Zhongli’s voice and how aged it was. Xiao backed up into the room again as someone had came inside.
The dark hour left the woman mostly unseen, but Xiao was quick to start lighting a lantern for light.
“Thank you, Xiao,” she commented as the wick began to burn with a flickering flame. Traveler’s face remained flush at the woman in front of them. She didn’t just sound wise, she looked it. Like she had seen many years and experienced many things- but still looked so young. Xiao moved to her side and Traveler didn’t need to ask if the woman in front of them was who they thought she was. “Are you friends of Xiao’s?”
“Yes,” Traveler whispered before they cleared their throat and answered again. “Yes, we are.”
“I see.” Xiao cleared his own throat, turning his head away at the gaze the woman sent him. Luckily the lantern didn’t light the room the greatest so his tinted cheeks stayed between the duo and didn’t reach the Traveler’s eyes. Looking back, she smiled warmly and it seemed exactly like how Zhongli explained. “It’s lovely to meet you both. My name is y/n.”
“WHAT?!” Paimon exclaimed before slapping her hands over her mouth. Both at the discourtesy and the late hour she had yelled into.
“I assume you have a great deal of questions,” you tell them, “but, for now I think we should table all that for tomorrow. You’re both more than welcome to stay here for the night. Xiao can lead the way for you.”
With that, somehow the two travel companions ended up in a guest room with two futons and Xiao telling them to get some rest before leaving and presumably going back to your side.
You had once again left your room to sit on the terrace and Xiao joined you. Sitting beside you, his head coming up to your shoulder in height as you both looked and focused on nothing.
“Are you upset with me?” He asked.
“Not particularly, no. Shocked, maybe. I wasn’t expecting someone else to follow in behind you from the forest.”
“I apologize.”
“There’s no need.” You slowly bring your hand up to rest on the back of Xiao’s head, a comfort to both him and you. Just like how Xiao described you as a mother, you didn’t ever think of him as anything less than what you assumed a son would be like. “It’s actually helped me with something that’s been on my mind lately.”
Xiao just grabbed onto the sleeve of the robe you wore, not saying anything but conveying enough for you to understand.
“I’ll explain it tomorrow. For now, how about a lullaby?” Even from the guest room and with Paimon already asleep, the Traveler could hear a faint song in the air before drifting to sleep.
“Sooo, how old are you?”
“Paimon!” Traveler yelled. “That’s rude!”
“I was just asking a question!”
“Ask a different one!”
The small squabble that earned a sigh from Xiao the next morning led you into a small laughing fit. The group of you were gathered in a drawing room used for when Xiao would visit you during your days. You’d spend time listening to things Xiao would encounter outside, and while it was a good way to pass the time you would otherwise spend alone, it felt better with more lively guests like this.
“Xiao’s older than I am, so please rest assured I’m younger than you think.”
“Xiao’s older?!”
“Ahem,” the Yaksha interrupts by clearing his throat, “age matters aside, don’t you think now would be a good time for an explanation. If we’re gone from Liyue too long, Zhon- er- Rex Lapis could get suspicious.”
“Why’d you correct yourself like that Xiao?” Paimon asks before you answer for him.
“He feels like Morax’s mortal name makes me uncomfortable. I’ve told him time and time again that it doesn’t bother me, but he insists on using his other titles. Feel free to keep referring to him as you’re used to, I won’t get confused.”
“How considerate of him,” Paimon dryly says, pulling another chuckle from you.
“In any case, Xiao is right. I assume he told you about me, seeing as he brought you here himself.”
“Sort of,” Traveler starts. “Zhongli is actually the one who told us about you. Xiao just told us more.” A shocked look passes over your features when you hear that the former Archon had opened up about you at all. “He said that someone from his past died around this time and we were worried about him. We kind of… pressured him into telling us.”
“I don’t think that’s true,” Xiao said as he crossed his arms. “If Rex Lapis truly didn’t wish to speak about it, he wouldn't have. Believe me. He’s too stubborn.”
“Be nice,” you lightly chide him. “Still, it’s a shock. I thought he would’ve buried his memories of me long ago.”
“I’ve told you,” Xiao spoke up again, “Rex Lapis- he still-”
“Xiao.” Your voice was stern for a moment before he clammed up.
“Sorry,” he spoke defeatedly. Instead of staying quiet and letting the awkward air cloud up the room, he started up the discussion of why he had brought outsiders here in the first place. “Traveler, do you remember when I told you that Lady y/n had been executed?” Traveler nodded and was shocked at his use of a title. He didn’t use one at all when he was talking about you yesterday? Did he always address you personally like that? “Do you also recall how I mentioned how before she was killed, she was cursed.”
“Oh yeah,” Paimon acknowledges. “Paimon remembers you saying something like that.”
“It’s because of that curse that she’s still alive.”
“They cursed her not to die? Doesn’t that seem kinda dumb since they apparently executed her for not defeating Zhongli?” Paimon’s face scrunched before her entire being deflated. “Paimon doesn’t get it.”
“That isn’t quite correct. I can die,” you inform them. Xiao’s fist twitched as his gently grasped the fabric of his pants in his palms. “In fact, I have died several times. The curse i bare is that I cannot stay dead.”
“Isn’t that still contradictory to what the monk’s were trying to accomplish?” Traveler asks.
“Not necessarily. Back in my original life, I had broken a vow I had been raised on: placing my people above myself and never being selfish. That one sacred vow being broken was enough for Jiang to label me a treasonous traitor. This eternal life of mine is punishment for that crime.”
“That’s so dumb!” Paimon exclaims. You continue to explain after she’s finished huffing. Her puffy face was quite amusing to look at as she crossed her small arms like she was offended on your behalf.
“My curse resets my life to the point in time I was killed. Therefore, any injuries or illnesses I received in previous lives have all but vanished. I can still starve and freeze to death. I can become ill and contract diseases just like a normal mortal. I’ll die if I'm stabbed and I’ll scar if I’m burned. Still, even after all that, I’ll simply wake up again like none of it happened. This prolonged suffering is what Jiang and his acolytes were after.”
“That’s terrible,” Traveler whispers. “Have you died many times?”
“I’ve lost count.” You raise your hand to look at your palm that has been the same as the first time you woke up from death. In the ruins of your destroyed temple you were foggy minded and confused before your entire being filled with dread. “I’ve lived so many lives I cannot remember them all, but I know I’ve touched on every type. I’ve gone mad, harming people around me and myself. I’ve given in to every sin in hopes that they would allow me to die and not come back. I’ve even tried ending the cycle myself, but all to no avail.”
You took a deep breath before dropping your hand back to your lap.
“As stained as I am now, I’m hardly the priestess I used to be. I can never be that pure original version of me, but I’ve long accepted that. I’m quite… content with my life right now.”
“Content my foot,” Xiao huffed. “You were planning to stay alone for a lot longer if I hadn’t found you.”
“Wait,” Paimon piques, “found you?”
“It was purely by chance,” you explain. “Sometimes, I’ll venture into Liyue but under a cloaked disguise so I’m not recognized or detected. Some years ago, I accidentally ran into Xiao near Wangshuu Inn and spoke his name purely out of reflex. He heard me and well, it was safe to say he wasn’t exactly pleased as he tracked me down.”
“I was frustrated,” he corrected. “I came to find out you were alive and hiding for eons after thinking you were long dead.”
“I know.”
“Imagine how Morax would feel if he knew!”
“I know, Xiao,” you repeat. “That’s something I actually want to talk to you about.” Xiao stills in his rampage before his arms slowly uncurl and his posture takes on something uncomfortable. “You’ve kept my life a secret for some time now, omnienting the truth from the Archon you respect so much. I’m sorry for asking such a selfish request.” You turn to look at the slack faced boy before bringing your hand to cup his chin affectionately. Traveler felt like they were impeding on a parental moment as they tried to look anywhere but you both. “If you want to, you can tell him the truth now.”
Xiao’s hand comes to quickly clasp around your wirst that started to fall away from his face. His mouth opens before it closes again. He was torn between what he’s been wanting to do for so long and the open permission to actually do it.
“Are you… for certain?”
“Yes,” you swallow a lump in your throat. “I’m certain.” Xiao quickly takes your wrist out of his grip before he’s rushing to stand up. He stands with such a force he teeters on his feet before going to the door. He didn’t want to wait a single moment longer. “Xiao!” He stops momentarily and he’s reminded just for a brief moment how you spoke his name like that to his back the first day he ever met you milinia ago. This time though, he spun to look you in the eyes. “Take this with you,” you had gotten up from your place and placed your hand out of a nearby window. Bringing it back in not longer after, an insect of glimmering colors hummed through the space and landed on his shoulder.
“A dragonfly!” Paimon exclaims as Traveler also rose to their feet ready to follow Xiao out. Xiao just nods before dashing out of the door. Being inside your barrier always made it hard for him to teleport between locations, so he had to get outside first. “Traveler, lets catch up with Xiao!” Paimon says, pointing after him.
“Yeah,” they agree before looking back to you as you stay by at the window.
“Get going now,” you urge before Traveler was awkwardly bowing to you and running out, calling Xiao’s name to try and get him to ‘slow down and wait up!’
Once alone again, you felt a coil settle in your chest. It was the same tightness you felt when Xiao had found you. Found out you were alive as you confessed everything to his insistent pleading after following you into your barrier. You braced your hands on the window pane before swallowing a lump in your throat.
You never got the proper chance to tell Morax how you felt about him in your original life. It was wrong for a mortal like you to fall in love with a god- much less in the middle of a world altering war. You would’ve been far more foolish to confess your feelings than you were when you let him go.
The tight coil only grows barbed spikes as you remember the last time you ever saw him. Laying beneath you as you pinned him down. Standing before you as you demanded him away. Feeling the empty air as he vanished right before you eyes.
Xiao had told you that he was the one responsible for destroying your home. Burning it all down and destroying everything in his sight all because you had died. He was so filled with anguish and you didn’t know if you fully believed it. Xiao insisted that Morax hasn’t cared for a single soul as much as he cared for you. Even know as he lived as Zhongli you still hadn’t been replaced. You didn’t know if you believed that either.
“I won’t regret this… will I?” You ask no one as you feel yourself start to pathetically cry. “Weak,” you call yourself as you stand alone in the empty home you constructed for yourself long ago.
“Did you find him yet?” Traveler asks Xiao as they met back up in the middle of Liyue. Zhongli wasn’t at the funeral parlor and Hu Tao didn’t know where he had meandered off to before they came looking for him. He wasn’t at his home nor was he listening to that storyteller at Three-Round Knockout like usual. “Last place is the harbor. He was at the bridge when we found him, so let’s go look.”
They made haste to the bridge, but with crestfallen faces it was devoid of any kind of descended Archon. They were about to recollect their thoughts and try and figure out if there was any other place he frequented they could try when someone spoke up behind them.
“You all seem troubled,” the familiar voice of Zhongli startled all three of them as they all whipped around to look at him. He looked as composed as usual, maybe even a bit better than yesterday. Maybe airing some of his grievances helped him out a bit after all. Still, who knows how the news Xiao had for him would effect his mental well being.
“Rex- ahem- Zhongli, I need to speak with you.” In the heat of the moment, Xiao almost addressed him as Rex Lapis. Calling him that in the middle of the busy day would be a mistake, so it was good he caught himself. Zhongli looked at Xiao’s steadfast gaze and let it travel over to the blond and their companion who’s always had an issue keeping quiet.
“You all look stiff, like something has happened.”
“That’s Zhongli for you,” Paimon remarks. “Always perceptive.”
“So, it’s as I surmised.”
“I’ll explain everything, but it can’t be here.” Xiao stepped in.
“I understand,” Zhongli sighs. “Come with me. We can talk outside the city away from any possible prying ears. I would prefer to not be cooped up indoors.”
Just like the day before, Zhongli took the group out to the same river Xiao did; it was far from the people and now he stood cross-armed and ready for any sort of explanation. Traveler stayed quiet, knowing it was Xiao’s wish to say something first and made sure Paimon stayed quiet too. If anything, they were there to make sure nothing got out of hand- this was truly between them.
“On behalf of someone else’s word, I’ve been keeping something from you. It’s about… It’s about, y/n.”
“Xiao,” Zhongli bit and Xiao felt the words get stuck in his throat the moment your name left his mouth. Zhongli’s tone was already on edge. Just the mention of your name was enough to make the Archon nearly growl. The former divine being had been feeling the blanket of grief hold him down more this year than previous ones, the fact that he opened up about you just the day prior to the Traveler made old wounds throb. The last thing he wanted was to talk about you and make everything hurt all over again for another time.
“I understand you don’t want to talk about her, but please hear me out.”
“I will not entertain whatever thoughts you think you need to say. Y/n died a long time ago, you should leave her in the past.” His words were ironic since he himself couldn’t even do that.
“You don’t understand.”
“Xiao.”
“Please, she-”
“Enough!”
“She’s still alive!” Xiao, fed up with his god not letting him get a word in, blurted it out. He inwardly recoiled, not wanting to just say it like that. He wanted to ease into it, try and slowly explain it so Zhongli would accept it easier. “Y/n, she’s… she’s alive.”
There was silence so heavy it kept Xiao’s head down with an invisible force. His eyes stayed locked onto the boots of the one person who he respected the most. If he had never felt fear before this very moment, now would be the perfect introduction to it as he felt the burning gaze of Zhongli on his skull.
“Is that an attempt at a ill-advised jest,” Zhongli’s voice put on a dangerous tone. It was understandable and justified however. Who would just believe that the one mortal an Archon fell in love with thousands of years ago was alive? It sounded ludacris and Zhongli did not enjoy feeling like a fool.
“He’s telling the truth!” Paimon defended. Her mental restraint on not talking snapped at seeing Xiao look so meak under Zhongli’s overwhelming stature. Zhongli’s gaze shifted from Xiao to Paimon who squealed at the intensity before flying to hide behind the Traveler’s shoulder. His gaze was hard, stern, and angry.
“What could you possibly know? You only just learned about who she was through me- without my telling you so, y/n would be only a memory shared between Xiao and myself alone.”
“We know because we met her,” Traveler tell him. His fists clench and his jaw locks.
Zhongli couldn't stand lies or liars, and yet he wanted everything the group in front of him said to be bold face lies. Zhongli trusted the Traveler and Xiao the most out of almost anyone he knew presently. He trusted them with his secret and they always tried their best in their own duties and goal to find their sibling. He respected them and trusted them with his life as both Zhongli and Rex Lapis.
But did he trust them with your life?
With the promise of you being alive coming from Xiao and backed up by the Traveler, the former Archon was notably torn. He didn’t want to get his hopes up and have this all be some sort of illusion. A trick of the mind that will leave him crumbling just like the day he first lost you. He didn’t thinking he could take that kind of anguish again.
The Traveler stepped up and took Xiao’s hand in one of theirs and the other took hold of Zhongli’s. Paimon floated out from behind them as the blond made both of the immortal being bring their gazes up to them.
“Xiao can take you to her just like he did with us. Y/n is waiting.” The curled fist of Zhongli’s lessened enough to wrap around the Traveler’s comforting touch. He looked back at Xiao who had been looking at the blond with such gratefulness for salvaging the situation before calling his attention back. His amber gaze had loosened up, but they weren’t the normal eyes of Zhongli. Morax was peeking around the irises of the tallest among the group.
“This is no lie?”
“I would never lie to you.”
“Yes,” he breathed out, “I know.” He took a breath, feeling so embarrassingly out of character. It was then that he noticed the small insect that had been on Xiao this whole time. The trio had seemed to forget you sent them back with the dragonfly, but Zhongli knew. He sucked in a breath as he looked at it. “Take me to see her at once,” he commanded. Xiao wasted no time in teleporting all three of his companions to the edge of your barrier he had memorized the location of.
Zhongli’s hand was dropped by the Outworlder as he walked to the edge of it. He could sense the familiar power from years past and reached his hand up to place his palm on it. It bent with his palm like a bubble before it pushed through, rippling the distorted view of cloaked foliage behind it. He hesitated, but a slight push at his back had him walking in- well, stumbling in.
His face mirrored the Traveler’s when they had first seen the area behind the barrier. He could feel you everywhere and his body started moving before he could stop. Xiao and Traveler called after him as he took off into a sprint towards the house under the tree’s shadows. It felt like a ribbon had tied itself around his wrist and was yanking him forward. The dragonfly that had sat perched and patient on Xiao had taken off with Zhongli, acting as a guide as it flew in front of him.
“Take me to her,” he pleaded with the buzzing bug. “Like last time,” he remembered how a similar bug had led him to you that first time. He felt so vulnerable as he ran into the house, barging through the doors and dashing through halls with abandon. Zhongli felt mortal with his emotions controlling his actions and his desperation oozing out of his very core. He should be in better control of himself, but he can’t control his body no matter how much he tries. “Take me to her!”
The dragonfly had flown to a corridor that led into a vast open space. Stairs of three steps led out into an open garden with bushes, flowers, and carefully created paths to walk. It was a far cry from the overgrown, wild garden of the past. A stone canopy held up with four strong pillars covered the peaceful place from the sun and a small stone table sat among the paths intersection.
His breath was labored, chest heaving as the dragonfly continued out into the garden and his pace slowed down until the insect had taken a turn just outside the cover of the canopy. The dragonfly stopped, perching itself on an outstretched finger and Zhongli almost collapsed.
“Thank you,” you said to the dragonfly before it lifted off your finger and took off in a random direction, its job fulfilled. The sun bathed you in a golden light Zhongli could remember from eon’s ago and as he stared at you, a tear fell heavily and unstrained from his eye.
You weren’t sure what to say as you looked at him, but when you saw that tear fall you were ready to immediately apologzie. You never got the chance. Instead you were frozen in surprise when he had somehow appeared directly in front of you and encased you to himself.
Sealing his body to yours, his arm wrapped around your lower back and one of his hands pushed your head against his neck. His back curled inwards, bending you backward enough so that your back arched and he could form you to him even further. You were so warm and he felt himself choke as his nose took in your scent from atop your head. It was different from before, but he could still smell you in it- altered or not. It proved that you weren’t some fake, you were real.
Zhongli nuzzled into the top of your head, greedily taking in everything of you he could. You had placed your hands on his sides before sliding them up to his back. One of your hands snagged into the fabric of his coat and the other stayed wound around his back. He could feel you start to shake and he felt a bit better than he wasn’t the only one overly-emotional.
“You’re alive,” he whispers into your hair, voice cracking enough the wind could easily pick it up and take it somewhere far away. You just nodded into his chest as he somehow gripped you to him tighter, closer. “You’re alive,” he repeats like he’s trying to convince himself this isn’t a dream.
“Yes,” you sob. “Yes.”
As the two of you stood under the sun in a garden different from the one in his memories, he took no notice of the three other figures who had finally caught up to him after taking off on his own. Xiao felt a weight lift off his chest at seeing you two finally reunited and Traveler gently took his head in comfort. He had no chance to get embarrassed at the action, instead he just squeezed it back as he watched his long-seperated family cling to each other.
Xiao felt whole again for this one moment and he knew that you both did too.
“I’ve missed you so,” Zhongli confesses into your locks and you almost laugh if it wasn’t choked up on your dying sobs turned to sad sniffles. “Oh, how I’ve missed you.”
“I’m sorry,” you sniff as you let your arms slowly start to retract from him. He knew that things needed to be discussed and explanations needed to start somewhere, but he was reluctant to let go. His arms released you, but his palms were quick to gently cup your cheeks instead to tilt your face up to him. Your eyes were swollen and the whites of them irritated due to your tears. He looked no better.
Zhongli ran his gloved thumbs over your cheeks and across your eyes when you closed them when he got too close with his touch. He planted his feet between yours before pushing his forehead on yours and choosing to bask in your sun bathed body before anything close to closure ensues.
“Um,” you break the silence, but like last time, nothing else gets out before your interrupted.
“Call me by my name.”
“What?”
“My name,” he repeats. “Please.” He didn’t want to hear his mortal name or any of his other countless name and titles he’s collected over the years. No. His ears yearned for the name you knew him by. After all this time, he just wanted you to call him-
“Morax.”
Zhongli collapsed at last. His hands that cupped your cheeks dropped as did he. He came to his knees in front of you, his empty hands easily latching onto yours in lieu of your cheeks. His head hung as he sat- kneeled- at your feet. You shuffled in astonishment and shock as he took your hands and pushed them against his forehead pleadingly.
“Again.”
“Morax,” you whispered and he could hear the embarrassment in your tone. He chuckled as a shiver ran through his entire being.
“Once more.”
“You’re being spoiled.”
“I think I’m more than qualified.” He hears you chuckle and he could perish right here in this very instant without regret at the sound. It was just as he remembered.
“Morax.”
“This time,” he starts speaking as he feels you slowly start to join him on the ground. Your hands had twisted in his grasp to hold them back. “This time,” he starts again, “you’ll stay with me, won’t you?”
You pull both of your encased hands to your lips, kissing his gloves and he wishes he took them off. His wish must’ve been yours as well since you slowly started to remove his gloves and revealed the dark, golden imbedded skin he kept hidden to the public eye. Your eyes remained closed as you worked, like you had dreamed of doing this so many times you didn’t need your sight. Once again, you placed your lips on his knuckles and it was like his skin was alight with lava.
Reopening your eyes, you adjusted your hands so that your fingers were now interlaced, fingertips resting on top of each other’s hands as your palms were on the warm ground to lean closer to him. You push your forehead back against his, breathing in his air that became tangled with your own. Smiling so softly at him that he released one of your intertwined hands to push his fingers into your hair behind your ear and pull you even closer to him. He wondered if he could meld your very existence into his own and become the earth itself among the garden.
“I’ll stay until you don’t want me,” you declare.
“I’ll never not want you, my dear. We have too much time to make up for and many stories to share, should time continue to allow it.”
“Time is nothing but a concept to me now,” you chuckle bitterly. You would tell him about it all later, but now wasn’t the time. It would dampen the mood too bitterly for your tastes.
A contract was made under the sun behind a barrier that had kept you concealed and hidden from his faze. Your intertwined hands were the signatures finalizing that contract. Zhongli wasn’t ever going to let you slip through his fingers again- he promised himself that as he held tighter onto your warmth and you to his.
Zhongli couldn’t wait to finally give you the hairstick he had held onto for a millenia in your memory. Even more, he couldn’t wait to see it glimmer under your locks of hair since there was nothing and no one holding you back anymore.
a/n: pls god like/reblog/tell me your thoughts. this is babies first genshin fic and it's got so many words im so anxious i could throw up. i only edited this like one and a half times bc words became mushy and my eyeballs started melting. pls excuse the shift between past and present tense, my eyeballs - as aforementioned- are melting
if @scara7102 sees this it wouldn't let me tag you uh oh
"look how beautifully the stars sing for you and i" 𓆝 𓆟 𓆞 𓆝⭒˚。⋆
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