THROUGH THE RUBBLE.

commas of care,

↳ CHAPTER III. DAYLIGHT

kita shinsuke x reader, 15.7k

SUMMARY: Kita used to dream about being free. But now, he’s 28, years into a career and married to someone he doesn’t know.

series masterlist

a/n: here she is... the final chapter !! i'm getting sentimental about it all over again but writing this chapter was very therapeutic. especially because it touched on the theme of childhood hurt, something i can relate to very well. but alas, i'll save the rest of my speech for my end notes. i hope you enjoy ! the playlist is also finished so check it out from the masterlist <3

Kita doesn’t want to say your first date was life-changing, primarily because you already tease him by actually calling it that.

And to be honest, nothing super drastic has happened after the date to be throwing the word life-changing around.

You both do the same little things, and the structure of your days are essentially the same. Wake up, do your jobs, spend time together, then sleep.

There are changes, though. They're just… more subtle, like somebody had turned on a light and his life glows a tad bit brighter than before.

It's hard to completely articulate how he feels, but all he knows is that the person to thank for all this light is you.

He’s always thought all the movies were so silly for describing love as a thing that narrows the circumference of the world to a single person. It’s still a little silly, Kita thinks, and he’s not quite in love yet. But it would be a lie to say that you don't occupy most of his thoughts throughout the day.

The thought of you puts a certain skip to his step, a little absentmindedness in between meetings, and zeal to be super efficient with his work so he can go home earlier than usual.

He feels a little bit guilty about wanting to go home early, but their division is performing well and they’ve recently secured several high-profile projects. He thinks he’s earned a couple days of going home earlier than usual.

In any case, it’s hard for him to even remember the guilt once he’s home. Not when his wife welcomes him home with hugs and kisses. Some days, he doesn’t even get a chance to take off his shoes before he finds his hands full of you kissing him stupid against the front door. You pull back only after Kita is breathless to ask, “Did you have a good day at work, baby?”

You find yourselves going out for dinner dates more. You found this listing of all the best restaurants in Tokyo, and you've both been slowly but surely going through it. There's this new Vietnamese restaurant you went to recently in Roppongi that you both fell in love with on the list. You're determined to try out everything on the list first before starting to go on repeats, but Kita's hoping you make that one restaurant an exception.

They go on other types of dates too, like this one time you got tickets for an outdoor cinema experience. It played an older movie, one of the first Batman films, and he had brought blankets (so you could sit on the grass) and packed their own food (so they could have a little picnic as they watched).

Another time, they end up at a museum, where you give him the low-down on art history. You walked him down the different exhibits and acted as his own personal tour guide. Kita learned a lot of different artists that day, but he thinks he learned more about you. It’s in the way you talk about different painters that reveal you. How your voice booms with disdain when you talk about Gauguin but drops into soft dulcet tones when you reach Monet and Van Gogh. How you pause to admire a Bernini sculpture before giving him background on who even Bernini was. How you completely skip past the whole section of Medieval art with the excuse, it reminds me of when my mother forced me to go to church.

It’s how they’ve been getting to know each other for the past couple of months and still, he realizes there’s a lot left to learn. It really does feel like they’re in some weird, advanced level of dating, but he doesn’t mind because it’s really fun. All the stupid rules surrounding dating are gone, bulldozed by the fact that you’re already married.

It’s during this time too that he finally gets the chance to paint under your careful instruction.

“Wait,” Kita says, squinting at his canvas, “So what should I do?”

“Whatever you want,” you say from behind your canvas, “Follow your heart, Shin.”

So maybe the instructions were less careful and more vague. Kita stands up to see what you’re doing, “What are you gonna paint?”

“Whatever my heart tells me to,” you say. You look up at him with narrowed eyes, “No, I’m not painting you.”

Kita scoffs, “I wasn’t even going to say that.”

“Uhuh,” you tease, “But since you’re here, wanna give me a kiss?”

“No,” Kita says, walking away back to his place. He acts hurt, “I’m just gonna paint you. If it’s ugly, it’s your fault. You taught me nothing.”

Now it’s your turn to scoff, “This is supposed to be fun. It’s okay if it turns out ugly. You’re not being graded. Just relax, babe.”

Kita rolls his eyes, but he ends up doing what he’s told. Activities like this, where instructions are vague and don’t have a goal, usually stump him, but he takes a deep breath and focuses. He can do this. He can paint the ugliest painting of you and hang it in the living room.

He starts with your head, which is an easy enough thing to paint. You’re a circle on a stick but cuddly at the same time, so maybe he should avoid doing a stick figure. He gets lost in figuring out these tiny details and forgets his surroundings until he hears a phone ring.

“Sorry,” you grimace, silencing the call.

“All good,” Kita says, humming as he goes back to painting. It hasn’t even been a minute until he hears the same ringtone.

You groan, “If a person isn’t answering, it usually means they’re busy. Ugh, leave a voicemail.”

Kita laughs, “Maybe it’s important. Just answer it.”

“No,” You dismiss, “It’s just my agent. They’ve been pestering me to do more work. But I told them I was taking a break and to only bother me for administrative things or charity functions. And I’m already doing people favors.”

Kita frowns, “Maybe you should get a new agent. This one doesn’t seem to respect your wish for time off.”

“I wish,” You sigh, “This one’s pretty good though, and they know what they’re doing. They’re just being pushy because I’ve been avoiding a lot of the public engagements they’ve been asking me to do.”

“Why have you been avoiding them?” Kita asks.

You don't answer immediately. Kita paints while he waits.

“All of them are abroad,” You finally say. “And we haven’t been married for that long, and I didn’t really want to do anything overseas until we got settled in…”

The words make him pause. He puts his brush down and moves his seat, so he can look at you properly when he says, “I really appreciate you, you know that right?”

“Hm?” you make a confused noise. “Where is this coming from?”

“Just wanted you to know since it’s something that I’ve been thinking about a lot, but also just because of what you said. I shouldn’t be surprised at this point, but every time I find out all these little things you’ve been doing, it just really hammers the point that you’re so considerate of us,” Kita swallows, “And I just appreciate that.”

“Shin,” you say, touched.

“But baby, look at us,” Kita reaches for your hand and you meet him halfway. With your hands clasped together, he says, “This isn’t going anywhere. You don’t have to hold yourself back from these opportunities. You love your work and you deserve to go to all these places and showcase your work. I’ll only feel bad if you keep declining them.”

You exhale, “You’re right.”

Kita smiles, “I know.”

.

.

.

Okay, Kita knows what he said but now he kind of regrets it.

Not because he doesn’t like that you’re off doing great things, but because trips abroad tend to be a couple days long and Kita kind of misses you. That wasn’t a reality he had thought about until he came home from work and you weren't there to greet him. His dinner doesn’t taste as good, eaten alone. Watching tv feels uninteresting without you providing commentary at his side. And worse, when he settles into his own bed at night, he’s cold.

He sighs as he twists and tosses around his bed, unable to sleep. He hates how foreign this bed has become in so little time.

He wonders if he should just sleep on your bed instead, but he wonders if it would be weird without its owner. He doesn’t think you’d mind, considering you’ve been sleeping together every night.

He sighs, slowly getting up and crossing over to your room. It’s not like you’ll know.

.

.

.

Sleeping in your bed helps, but he still misses you.

It feels pathetic, but when you start getting used to having someone in your life, when someone is baked into your routine, you just miss them when they’re gone.

The only thing that consoles him is that you miss him too.

You’re in New York, which is about a thirteen hour time difference. When Kita wakes up, you’re about to sleep, and when Kita is about to sleep, you’re just waking up. There’s barely time throughout the day to talk, unless one of them stays up late or wakes up really, really early.

Which is why he gets surprised when he receives a Facetime call from you as he’s getting ready to go to bed.

“Hello,” He answers as he reaches over to turn a light on.

“Wow,” your sarcasm carries so clearly through their thousands of miles difference. “Can I get a more enthusiastic response? Did you even miss me? Are you even sad? Are you not crying every night at my absence?”

“No,” Kita responds, as he gets comfortable in his bed. He’ll move to your bed after this call. When he hears you go on about how offended you were, he smiles, “Do you miss me?”

You roll your eyes, “No. Because you said you didn’t miss me. Rude.”

Kita chuckles and finally notices that you were still in bed too, lying on your side. He copies your position and lies on his side too. This way, even if it’s through the screen, it’ll feel like you’re lying in bed together.

“But the truth?” Kita asks.

You look wistful on screen, “I missed you too.”

You let those words lie between you and for a moment, you just stare at each other, floating through the river of your own longing.

Kita breaks the silence first, his words coming out like they’re coming up for air, “When’s your flight home again?”

“In two days,” you say..

“It’s not too long, baby,” Kita says, “We’ll be so busy with work, it’ll be here before we know it. How’s everything been for you?”

“Ugh, my English is so rusty, but my agent hired an interpreter so it’s fine. Besides that, I love New York a lot, actually. It’s a bit chilly since it’s winter right now, but everything is so pretty. I should have sent you a photo, but it was snowing and I felt like I was in those snow globes. You’ve been here before, so you know what I’m talking about, right?”

Kita shakes his head, “Nah, I went to San Francisco actually. On the other side of that country, babe.”

“Ah, I see,” You say, “We should go here for fun someday. I feel like we’d both enjoy it.”

Kita can see it. “You know,” Kita starts, “We still have our honeymoon to go to. We never went on one.”

You snort, “Imagine if we went on one, right as we got married. It would have been so awkward.”

“Hey, you never know,” Kita says, “Maybe we would have gotten closer much faster. Maybe it would have broken the ice.”

“Our way is nice too,” You defend. “Feels like we really worked for it.”

Kita hums. They really did. “Anyway, honeymoon. We should do it. I want to do it.”

“I don’t want to do it in New York, though. I want to go somewhere special,” you say.

“We have time to think about it,” Kita says, “Given our schedules, we probably can’t go for a while anyway. I’ll have to rearrange things, and it depends on how long we want to go.”

You laugh, stretching out on your bed. “It needs at least be a two week vacation. Even if we’re just a week away somewhere and then we spend the rest of our honeymoon at home.”

“Anything works for me,” Kita says, “I just want to spend time with you.” you make a pained noise, pouting at the screen, “Don’t say that. That just makes me miss you more. What am I gonna do when you actually properly vocalize that you miss me, huh? I’m gonna end up booking the earliest flight home just to see you.”

Kita laughs, “Okay, okay, I won’t say it then.”

At least, not then. He says it a night later, in a voice message, and sends it to you right before he sleeps.

You make good on your promise and come home a day early, catching him sleeping on your bed. The embarrassment he feels lasts barely a second, making way to the swooping feeling in his chest when he realizes what you had done. He doesn’t even get a word into his explanation before you’re climbing over him, raining kisses on his face.

He thinks he's beginning to understand the term marital bliss.

.

.

.

Unfortunately for them, this marital bliss doesn’t last long.

The moment you stop being busy, Kita is suddenly drowning in work—to the point where he actually has to work late nights at the office.

He should be used to late nights at the office. They used to be his life. This used to be where he lived. He’s even slept here before. And yet, every bone in his body protests at being in this office past six pm.

Kita sighs, putting his pen down, and leaning back against his chair. He thinks about how he’s missing dinner with you, while you’re probably eating by yourself right now. Maybe you’ll eat in the living room and put on Netflix to have something to keep you company. Or maybe, you’ll go out and visit Mina, so you won’t have to eat alone.

The thought of it pricks at his heart. Work is work, and it is what it is—but still.

Kita shakes his head, and with it all his regrets about tonight. The only thing he can do is keep his head down and finish work as fast as he can. After all, the faster finishes this, the faster he gets to go home. Maybe he’ll even be able to catch you awake.

He picks up his pen and goes back to work.

He falls deep into his paperwork, so much so that he barely catches the knock on his door.

It must be his dinner. He had almost forgotten about it. It really has been so long since he’s eaten dinner at his office, but trust Atsumu to be on top of things.

“Come in,” He says, not looking up from his papers. He hears the door open and says, “You can just leave it on the coffee table. Thank you—”

“You know, you should look at the person you’re saying thank you to.”

That voice. Kita immediately looks up and is met with the sweetest sight, “Y/N?”

“Ta-da!” you grin, holding up a plastic bag, “I brought you dinner. Called your assistant and told him not to buy you dinner.”

“You did?” Kita can’t believe you’re here. It’s actually the first time you’ve ever been here, and you stand out in a fluffy hoodie and sweatpants against the sleek, posh furniture of his office.

You look like home.

“I thought it would be nicer than eating whatever sad takeout you were gonna have,” you reason, setting up the food by the coffee table Kita had pointed out earlier.

Kita finally stands up and walks over, giving you a hug and kiss on the cheek hello. “Yes,” Kita says, right as he pulls back, “This is much nicer than takeout.”

You give him a pleased smile, opening a tupperware, “I’m glad you agree. Anyway, I just felt sad at the thought of you eating takeout, and we had all this extra food at home. I don’t want to distract you from your work though, so I’ll be going—”

Kita makes a noise of protest, “Did you eat already? You’re not bothering me at all. I needed to take a break anyway.”

Need to take a break, Kita can’t help but make fun of himself internally, Didn’t know you knew what that meant.

“Are you sure?” you ask, looking at him with eyes that betray his hope, “Because I can just eat at home—”

“So you haven’t eaten yet?” Kita smiles, utterly pleased at the turn of events, “Let’s eat together. I know you don’t like eating alone, and you’re here already.”

Besides, it’s more than enough food for two people.

You settle down on the seat next to him, “Okay.”

As they’re eating, a thought pops up in Kita’s head, “How did you get up here, by the way? Security escorted you?”

The question sets you off.

You put down your chopsticks with a groan, “They barely did. I told them I was your wife and they took one look at my clothes and didn’t believe me.”

“We need to get you a badge,” Kita decides, “They should have known to let you in. Can’t believe we missed that. I guess it never occurred to me that you would have any reason to ever stop by.”

“Yeah, this building feels a little too stuffy for me. Too corporate,” you laugh, “But you’re here, and I think that’s reason enough to stop by.”

Kita swallows his heart, down with the rice he stuffs in his mouth. Cute, cute, cute.

He rarely gets friends visiting him at the office during the workday. At least, not without a scheduled meeting. He knows he’s mostly to blame for that. Everyone knows his days are packed with meetings already or that he had too many things to do to be entertaining people.

But here was someone—and not just anyone, his wife—who would come and stop by just to see him. Just to make sure he was eating well.

“Anyway,” you continue your story, “I showed them our wedding ring, and they were like, how are we supposed to know if that ring matches what Kita Shinsuke wears? So I had to resort to pulling up our wedding photos—”

Kita laughs, “You did not—”

“I totally did,” you smirk, “Now I’m kind of glad we had a public wedding. They were still kind of suspicious though and were about to call you to confirm, but Atsumu caught me as he was leaving. You need to give him a raise, by the way.”

“I pay him well,” Kita retorts back, “I know I’m not easy to work with and manage.”

“I still can’t believe I’m married to a workaholic,” you shake your head.

Kita smiles at his food and softly says, “I’m not as bad as I used to be. I used to sleep on this couch, you know? Only came home to shower and change.”

This was an admission hidden and buried within a story. An embarrassing thing to say out loud, but a part of him (one that recently revealed itself) wanted you to uncover it. To pick him apart and read what’s hidden between the lines:

I’ve changed because of you. Do you know that?

“Ah, Shin. Even if you tried I wouldn’t let you,” you say, so sure of yourself and your ability to drag Kita out of the office.

Kita raises a brow, incredibly interested, “Oh? What would you do?”

“Wouldn’t you like to know?” you tease, “Try it and you’ll see.”

Something in your smile dared him to try. To fuck around and find out. “Should I?” Kita bites his lip, “Should I not come home tonight?”

“Do it,” you say, voice turning low and soft. All it did was pull Kita closer—close, close, close, only stopping because you turned your head to look at him too, a sidelong glance through long lashes. “Sleep here so I can call you right before I sleep. Tell you, my bed is comfy and nice and warm but I can’t sleep because something’s missing.”

Kita holds his breath as he hangs onto your every word.

“What’s missing? You’ll ask,” you muse, a slow growing smile on your face. Kita doesn’t understand what’s so amusing. “I’d laugh at you for asking. You should know what’s missing.”

“I should?” Kita asks, watching as you nod. “What if I don’t know?”

You throw your head back laughing, pulling away. Kita almost follows you. You stand up, choosing to walk around to look through his office, “That was cute of you, Shin. You’re too smart to be pretending not to know.”

Kita stretches on his couch, right before standing up and going back to his desk, “Just playing the same game you’re playing.”

“Game?” you dramatically gasp, turning to him, “You think I’m joking? I’ll totally call you—”

“No need,” Kita rolls his eyes, pretending to look over his papers, “I’m definitely coming home tonight.”

“Yeah?” you ask, coming to stand beside him, leaning over to look at the files on his desk, “What are you even working on?”

“I have to review the presentation we’re giving tomorrow for a big partnership deal,” Kita explains, pointing at the notes he was making on the slide deck, “There was a last minute change in our strategy, which is why I’m reviewing it this late. We have a pre-meeting right before just to go over any further comments I have.”

“Some big words you’re using here,” you squint at a page, “Never thought I’d see them outside of class.”

“You took business classes?” Kita asks. “Thought you were an art major.”

Your mouth twists in distaste, “Yeah, I double majored actually. A compromise. Just in case the art thing didn’t work out.”

Kita can’t imagine you working in an office. It feels wrong. He thinks of your paintings, how much care you put in it, how every one of them felt like a child—your blood, your essence on a canvas. Kita is glad it worked out for you.

“You were probably super bored,” Kita murmurs.

“Some of it was actually interesting,” you say, hand moving to rest at the nape of Kita’s neck. Kita fought the urge to lean against it completely. “Taught me a little bit how to at least negotiate my contracts.”

“You don’t use a lawyer?” Kita asks.

“I do,” your thumb rubs against the side of his neck. “But I like doing a first glance in front of them just so they know I’m not some stupid, stuck-up rich girl they can fool.”

Kita oohs to tease, but it comes from a genuine place. His wife has a spine, made partly of steel, while you ran partly on fire. You slap him on the shoulder, “I do have pride. I’m barely part of the business, but I’m a Fukuda.”

“Not quite a Fukuda anymore though,” Kita reaches up to lightly touch your wrist. “You’re Kita Shinsuke’s wife now.”

God, you make him feel like a teenager, have him flirting like a teenager too. He cackles when you make gagging noises. “That was terrible. I’m going back. I’m not going to wait for you. Goodbye.”

Kita pulls you back before you get too far, “Okay, but give me a kiss before you go back.”

“A kiss?” you repeat, with a raised brow, “Just a single kiss.”

“Well yeah,” Kita says, glancing at the unlocked door of his office. Not that the unlocked part matters. Nobody else is here. “I actually do have to finish work and I don’t want to sleep here.”

“‘Kay,” you agree, leaning down to kiss him.

Kita cradles your cheek and meets you halfway. He meant it when he said one kiss, but he should have known that he’s too greedy to settle on just one. Thankfully, you are too.

What starts out as a short kiss goodbye soon becomes one long open-mouthed kiss to another. A polite hand on a cheek moves way past politeness, settling to a tight grip on your hip.

“Sit on my lap,” He breathes out in between kisses.

“I shouldn’t,” you say after pressing swift successive kisses against his mouth, “If I sit on your lap, I’m going to have to take you home.”

Kita pouts, which you press one last kiss against before finally pulling away.

“Fine,” Kita says, running a hand through your hair. “Drive safe. Don’t wait up for me.”

“I won’t,” you say, crossing your arms over your chest. You stand there for a moment, leaning against his desk, then say, “Please come home. I won’t wait up, but—”

“But?” Kita prods.

Your nose crinkles, before shaking your head, “It’s nothing.”

Kita wants to know, wants to ask, but you’re already moving away. Kita ends up watching you pack the tupperwares from the dinner back into the plastic bag, and is only able to say, “Good night,” to a retreating back.

Kita sighs. Rubs his eyes, before staring blankly at his papers.

He’s thought about this before, this side of you who keeps your cards close to your chest. He wonders what it would take for you to stop hesitating. He wonders if there’s something he could do to convince you that you can.

You probably just need a little bit more time. Maybe you don't trust Kita enough just yet.

He’ll think more about it later. His brain puts its foot down for now, reminding him of the work he still had to finish tonight.

With that thought, he picks up his pen and wills his mind to forget about everything but this proposal in front of him.

He finishes way later into the night, close to midnight. A part of him wanted to sleep on his office couch, but he promised he’d come home. And promise or not, he wanted to be home.

He sped through the streets in his car, mind on auto-pilot, too weary to be thinking of anything else. He thinks he gets home in record time.

He barely remembers the ride up to their floor. Punches their code in with an absent mind. Feels his knees crack when he bends down to toe off his shoes.

He’s aching to lie down by the time he reaches the top of the staircase to his room, but he pauses when he sees light coming out of your room. The door had been left slightly ajar.

Kita frowns. You said you weren't going to wait up.

He sighs, ready to say something. Though when he enters your room, he finds you asleep.

You lie curled on the bed, hand gripping your phone tightly. Were you actually going to call? Kita wonders as he brushes the hair off of your forehead. He leans over and kisses your forehead, lips lingering for a moment.

“Thank you for bringing me dinner,” Kita whispers. “Thank you for thinking of me. I was thinking of you too.”

He pulls your phone out of your hands, plugs the charger in, and turns off the light. Shuts the door closed.

Even if you keep things from him, it’s fine. It doesn’t change the fact that you have genuine feelings for him and care for him in a way nobody has for a long, long time. Whatever it is, it’s worth waiting for, no matter how long.

.

.

.

After what feels like an eternity of missing each other, you both finally manage to find some time to go out on a proper date.

Naturally, Kita is super excited for it. He makes a reservation at this famous restaurant in Shinjuku that’s earned two Michelin stars, and then plans to just walk around the streets with you. It might be a little chilly given the weather, but he thinks it would be nice to just be out.

The night starts off nicely—he got you flowers again, a gesture he’d been rewarded kisses for—and then dinner had only elevated the night. The food had been high-class, truly deserving the Michelin stars it had been awarded with.

It’s at Shinjuku that the night gets derailed, though.

They briefly stopped at a cafe to get some hot tea to drink as they found a park bench to sit on. However, after finding a nice spot, you accidentally elbows his tea out of his hands and he ends up having to buy another one.

The cafe is close enough, so he tells you that he can just go by himself and return in a couple of minutes.

When he comes back with a fresh cup of tea, he finds you with someone else.

At first, he doesn’t know what to make of it. He’s having a hard time recognizing the man you're with, because they’re wearing a dark cap and a face mask.

Kita is about to step in when hears the man say, “I miss you, Y/N.”

“You don’t have the right,” you reply, coldly.

“It’s not what you think. I know how it looks when it all went down, but it’s not what you think. You didn’t even let me explain, and you blocked my number. You said you loved me,” This stranger says, heated with despair, trying to reach for your hands.

You take a step back, not letting the man touch you, “How dare you? I loved you completely, and you ruined it. I saw everything… what else is there to say?”

“Then forgive me. We can start over,” He says, desperately, “I still love you. I’ll do anything—”

“I’m married,” you hissed, “Leave me alone. If you ever come near me again, I will ruin your career—”

This stranger doesn’t give up easily though. He grabs your wrist and says, “I don’t care if you’re married. I just want you back in my life—”

“Let go of me,” you say, trying to pull your arm away, but this man’s grip is tight, “You’re hurting me.”

Kita’s been watching this whole interaction with dread so heavy he can’t move. There’s so much here to process, he doesn’t even know where to begin. Whoever this stranger is, he’s clearly not a stranger to you. Not even close.

Whoever he is, though, he doesn’t have a right to hurt you, and it’s the pain on your face that moves him out of his spot and has him grabbing the man’s arm.

“She said you’re hurting her,” Kita says. He tries not to sound angry, but just looking at this guy has his blood boiling. “Let her go, while I’m still asking nicely.”

The man lets go, but not without asking, “Who are you?”

“I’m her husband,” Kita says, turning to you, watching as you cradle your wrist close to your chest “Are you okay?”

You nod, “It just hurts a little. But I’m fine.”

“Do you want to go home?” Kita asks, cradling your cheek.

“Yes,” you say, and that’s all Kita needs to know. He wraps an arm around your shoulders, tucking you into his side and kissing your temple. He doesn’t even spare this not-stranger a glance as he walks you back to the car.

The walk back is silent, even though Kita is brimming with questions. He has an inkling of who that person used to be, but he’d rather hear it from you. There’s a fear that keeps him from asking though, and it’s the possibility that you might not tell him, even if he asks.

So he doesn’t ask, and you sit in silence on the way home too.

Back at home, Kita decides he’ll just give you space for the night and resolves to try to speak to you tomorrow morning.

When he tries to go to his room though, you grab his hand to stop him.

“Are you upset with me?” you ask, in a quiet, fragile voice.

“Baby, why would I be upset with you?” Kita reassures you, reaching for your hand and pressing a kiss to the back of it. “I swear I’m not.”

“Then why are you going to your room? Do you not want to sleep with me tonight?” you ask.

Kita shakes his head, “I thought that maybe you’d want some space for the night.”

“No,” you say, tugging on his hand, “I don’t want to be alone.”

Kita exhales, running a hand through his hair. “Okay, let me just get ready for bed. I’ll join you, I promise.”

You let him go, but not before kissing him long and hard. When you pull away, there’s an unreadable look in your eyes, even as you say, “Thank you.”

Kita doesn’t know what to make of it, but he does keep his promise.

After getting ready for bed, he carefully enters your room and finds you’re already lying on the bed. There, on the left side, is the space where Kita’s taken to sleeping on. Left open for him.

He climbs in, and as has become muscle memory, your bodies naturally turn toward each other. Your head on his shoulder, arm around his waist, and legs tangled together.

“Shin,” you say after a moment. “How much did you hear?”

“We don’t have to talk about it if you don’t want to,” Kita says, even though he’s aching to know. “I heard most of it...I think.”

“I...I don’t really want to talk about it in depth. At least not right now. Maybe not even tomorrow,” you say. You lift your head, propping yourself up with a hand on his chest, “Is that okay?”

Kita bites his lip, “Would you tell me someday?”

“Yes. I promise,” you say, sealing it with a kiss.

You pull away, resting your forehead against his. Kita nods, “I’m okay with that. Would you… tell me who that was though? So I’m not in the complete dark? I have an idea, but… I don’t want to assume.”

You nod, “That’s fair. It’s probably what you’re thinking. He’s my ex-boyfriend. We dated for three years, before I married you. It ended badly. That’s all I can say.”

Three years. That’s a long time to be with someone. The next question is out of his mouth before he can think about it, “Do you still love him?”

“God, no,” your expression twists in disgust, as if you can’t even bear the thought. Kita feels something dislodge in his chest at your answer. He’s so relieved. Your expression softens, “I wouldn’t have married you if I was still in love with him. Okay?”

“Okay,” Kita says, stroking your hair. “Let’s go to sleep.”

.

.

.

Kita tries hard not to think about your ex.

Still, sometimes, he catches himself thinking about it. The hurt in your voice. The desperation in your ex’s. The three years they spent together. A relationship like that couldn’t have been anything but serious.

He knows he could probably ask Suna and be able to get answers, but he decides to trust you on it.

You promised, and someday, he’ll know.

In the meantime, he’ll focus on their relationship, and what better way to do that than to focus on preparing for your honeymoon.

Your honeymoon destination is Nami Island, South Korea, and you’re going at the heart of winter.

(When Kita had first told his friends that, he’d been met with confusion at first. Suna had frowned, Aren’t honeymoons usually somewhere hot? Somewhere tropical with beaches?

You guys could have gone to Boracay or if you wanted somewhere farther, you could have gone to the Maldives, Aran had whined. You only get married once!

Kita felt defensive at their words, Nami Island is perfect for us. It’ll be quieter and more intimate—

Oh, Aran smirked. You wanted it to be cold so your wife could hold onto you—)

Kita put a stop to that conversation fast. He wasn’t even thinking of those kinds of things. He’s sure you weren't either. You had both just wanted to be alone, a chance to forget the world and focus only on them.

They can vacation anywhere else in the future, but they can honeymoon only once. You want to make the most of it, and he feels that’s best done at a place where they can focus on them and their relationship. Forget the world. Forget their families. Forget exes and everyone else.

Just you and him.

.

.

.

Almost everything is set for the honeymoon. Kita just has a couple things left to set up and arrange at work, then he should also be good to go.

One of them is submitting his request for time off.

"I'm taking time off work," Kita says, casually, handing the appropriate paperwork to his father, the CEO.

His father finally looks up from his work at that, "You know this has to go to Human Resources first, right?"

Kita sighs, pointing to the files, "It already has. And as I directly report to you, all I need is your express approval."

"Your secretary could have done this, son," His father finally grabs the files and takes a moment to read it. Kita tries not to look impatient. "Oh? You're taking time off for the honeymoon?"

"Yes," Kita answers, short. "I've cleared my schedule, assigned my responsibilities to appropriate people who can cover them, and moved forward everything that I can. In addition, I've recently secured the deal with that entertainment company you wanted me to handle."

His father raises a brow, setting the files back down on his desk, "Why are you telling me all of this? Did you think I wouldn’t let you go on your honeymoon?"

Yes, Kita thinks. There is nothing Kita hasn't received from his parents that hasn't been earned.

"Don't look at me like that," His father frowns, reading his non-response for the accusation that it is. "You always work hard and I recognize that. You've done amazing work for the company. And a honeymoon is a honeymoon. I'm surprised it took you so long to take it." More quietly, his father continues, "I'm glad you're taking it. I'm glad your marriage is going well."

Kita doesn't know what it is about his father's words that annoy him. He's never been the rebellious sort of son nor has he ever been the type of son who spoke back to their parents. But there's something about his father being glad that he's taking time off to go on his honeymoon that pricks at him.

Maybe it's the attempt at closeness. Growing up, he was never close to his father. If his father loved him, it was a love so mild Kita could have barely felt it, and it was further eclipsed by the love his mother had for him. Though that, Kita wasn't sure he could call love either.

In any case, he's twenty-eight now and his relationship with his father has barely changed. He prefers the business relationship they've cultivated. It's cleaner, less messy. He's better as a boss than a father. Now, he gives Kita what he needs.

And maybe it's because he's twenty-eight now, with all the cards shaken up and laid out on the table, that he says this, "I don't understand your surprise. The marriage is arranged, there's a lot of work to be done at the company, and you know how I am about my work."

His father looks taken aback, "Son—"

"And please," Kita says, unyielding, "you don't have to pretend you care about my marriage. If this is about what I said last time to mother's comment about the divorce—"

"No, no," His father says, pained, "Ignore your mother. You know how she is. I'm genuinely glad it's going well. I know it's arranged and our motivations for it… were more on the practical side, but it's good to see you happy."

"Happy," Kita repeats in disbelief. He looks imploringly at his father, "Isn't it a little too late for sentiments like this?"

His father gingerly stands, which Kita watches warily. When did his father grow so old like this? "My son, I know I haven't been the best father, which is something I have thought about a lot. It's something I've been hoping to correct. Shin—"

His father reaches for him, and Kita hates, hates, hates how he doesn't back away. How a part of him craves this, has always craved it.

His father pats him on the shoulder, the gesture of it awkward. If this was years ago when he was still a child, it would have been enough.

But he's twenty-eight now. He's not a child anymore. And it'll take more than this—this awkward pat on the shoulder and small words backed with no action—for Kita to forgive him.

If this relationship ever mends, it'll be on his own terms.

"You know, I didn't realize this until recently," Kita smiles, though it holds no sweetness, and his father's hand slowly drops back to his side. "But I've been an open wound all my life. And you've done nothing to fix it. You've never even acknowledged it at all. I know mother never will. I've always wondered if that's because you've never seen it, busy as you are with work. But you know what? You see it, and it kills me," his voice breaks into a whisper at the word, "that the only person who's acknowledged it properly is the stranger you married me to. And it makes me wonder if you've seen and just chose to look away. I don't know what version of the truth hurts less."

"If you want to be a good father, you have to earn it." Kita says, because a part of him will always be molded in his parent's image. His father's eyes look glassy and Kita looks away, unable to take it. Finally, he says, "Now please, could you approve my vacation paperwork?"

.

.

.

They arrive at their hotel in Nami Island with bodies weary from multiple connecting journeys.

“I’m starting to rethink our honeymoon destination, babe,” you say, lugging your suitcase up the stairs, “Or at least, your decision to get us the suite on the highest floor.”

Kita snorts, “Maybe if you worked out with me, you wouldn’t be struggling. Do you need some help?”

“No, I got it,” you say, but you stop on the step you’re on to catch your breath, “I can do this. Just stay there and look sexy, so I have motivation to keep climbing.”

Kita shakes his head, watching you carry your suitcase with so much determination you’d think you were saving the world or something. You finally make it to the top and give Kita a smug look, as if to say, see, I could do it!

Kita puts his arm around your shoulders and squeezes. “Good job,” He teases.

You lean your head on his shoulder and pucker your lips, “Thank you, now give me a kiss.”

“You never miss an opportunity, huh?” Kita says, giving you a quick smooch that causes you to whine. “Let’s kiss later. We haven’t even made it to our rooms yet. Come on.”

Their suite is pretty easy to find, since he booked the penthouse suite. He swipes their room cards and goes in.

Kita has stayed at a lot of expensive hotels, often in different countries, so he’s a bit used to beautiful, ostentatious accommodations. But as they walk into their suite, as he’s greeted by beautiful floor-to-ceiling windows that present snowy views of Nami Island, he’s admittedly breathless at the view.

You leave your suitcase by the door and rush to the windows. “This is super nice,” you say, turning back to him. “Tell our vacation planner that they did a good job.”

“I picked this place!” Kita rolls his eyes, as he closes the door behind him. “He did help, but I chose a lot of it.”

You walk back to him, arms wrapping around his waist. “Oh yeah?” You coo, “You did so good, baby.”

Kita runs a hand through his hair, feeling pleased, “It is super nice, right?”

You laugh, “Yes, an A plus for you.”

“Oh, I love that,” Kita nodding, seriously, “Keep giving me these grades. They’re music to my ears.”

You smack his shoulder, letting him go. “Stop that! I am not encouraging this.” You walk away, grabbing your suitcase, “I’m going to go check out our bedroom.”

Kita laughs, following behind you, only to see you stop in your tracks. “Why’d you stop?”

You turn to him, looking so betrayed. “Shin. How could you?”

“How could I what?”

You gape at him with disbelief, pointing to a room, “What is this?”

“What is what? Babe, use more words.”

You point to another room, unimpressed. “Why are there two rooms? Are we sleeping separately?”

Kita’s brows knit together, “We can if you want?”

“Why is that even an option?” You narrow your eyes, “This is a honeymoon, Shin. You’re so stupid. You get an F for this.”

You make an agonized noise, before stalking into one room and throwing yourself on the bed.

It takes a promise of a thousand kisses and a half (please don’t ask about the negotiations process) for you to forgive him.

“I’m sorry I gave you an F,” you say, in between kisses. You look too pleased for someone who was pinned down and tickled into submission. “You’re not stupid. I overreacted. You were just being considerate. Besides, it’s an easy fix. We’ll just use one bed.”

“You’re so awful,” Kita manages to get out, before you pull him back in for another kiss. You’re insatiable today. When he manages to pull away, long enough to catch his breath, he says, “It’s literally just how we have it at home.”

You raise a brow, “Yes, and we are not at home.”

Kita gets off you, rolling on his back and gets a glance of the world outside their window. All he can see is white snow. It really does feel like they’re the only two in the world.

He grabs your hand and presses a kiss to it, turning to you once again, “No. We’re definitely not.”

.

.

.

Maybe they call it a honeymoon because it’s a moon’s worth of sweetness packed in such a short period of time.

With you threatening to throw his phone out of his window if he even dares to check his work email, he ends up fully checked out of work.

Their days usually begin like this:

They wake up and just do whatever they want. If they wake up early, they spend the morning tangled up in each other before hauling themselves out of bed for breakfast. If they wake up late (which is really mostly just Kita being held captive by you cuddling him until you’re ready to wake up), they get room service for breakfast and get ready to hit the slopes.

Each successive day they spend in Nami Island, they try hard to level up their skiing skills. They humble themselves to the kiddie slopes on the very first day, cheering and laughing at each other’s successes and losses.

Some days, when they want a break from skiing, they take their time and explore the surrounding villages in the area. There’s some small but highly regarded restaurants that they try. There’s even cute little souvenir shops that they can peruse.

When they take a break like this, it’s usually because their bodies are sore and aching from the previous day’s activity. For that, the town also has something to offer: a spa. They book full body massages and it feels like heaven on earth, relaxing as they’re surrounded only by the trees. The pain and the stress—from almost everything—melts away. They don’t remember any other time they’ve felt more relaxed.

And whether they’re ending the day tired or relaxed, the one constant is this: they always welcome the night happy.

Some nights, they watch a movie until they fall asleep. Some nights, their bodies are so tired they fall right into it the moment they get into bed.

Some nights their bodies are thrumming with too much energy. They lie there, holding each other in silence long past after even the movie credits have ended.

Nights like these, they talk.

"Tell me something I don't know about you," you say, listening to the beat of his heart. "A secret or just something you've never told anyone."

"When I was younger," Kita says, feeling himself sink into the past, "I had this dream that I would get away from my life somehow. Nevermind that I'm the heir to my parent's fortunes and dreams, I had plans upon plans. I would leave everything behind and start a new life in the UK when I went for university. I would make my own name and I'd do whatever the hell I want. Date whoever without wondering if their name would pass my mother's approval. I'd have a new family, new dreams, new life."

"What happened to those plans?" You ask against his chest, arms tightening around his waist, as if Kita would go through with those plans now and fly away.

Kita shrugs, "Time, I guess? I got so busy focusing on pleasing my parents, on working hard to meet their approval, that I lost sight of anything else. I kept saying someday, someday, and then I got older and I got scared. What if I was free but I was nothing? What if I got away but I was more miserable? I was a bird in a cage with its door open, but the cage felt like home. I don’t know… looking back now, I was only twenty then, but I felt so old already. I came back home when I was twenty-three.”

"Twenty-three is still super young," you comment.

"Compared to the twenty-eight that I am now, yes," Kita agrees, "But back then I felt like my life was already made with bricks. Built. Unchangeable. Unmoveable. Like this was it and there was nothing I could do about it. That it's too late to do anything. Which was crushing, you know? Everybody else had this nice childhood where they got to do whatever they wanted. Youth was supposed to be the most beautiful moment of your life, but nobody ever tells you what to do when you don't get the chance to make it beautiful. It's not fair."

There's an undeniable hurt that slips into his voice, and at that, you pull yourself up to a sitting position, and Kita has to look up at you.

"Babe," you frown, "Tell me you still don't think this way."

Kita tries to smile for you, tries to lighten it up, "It's not that I'm unhappy. Like, I have you and we're on our honeymoon and baby, I love this—" you lean down to kiss him and Kita meets you halfway and takes and takes whatever you have to give.

"I just want you happy," you say when you pull away. Your voice aches like Kita’s pain is your own. "I know we can't always be, but I don't ever want you to feel trapped. I don't ever want to make you feel like the way your parents made you feel."

"You don't. You never have," Kita holds your hand and presses a kiss against the back of it. "I just think about the past sometimes and wonder how I would have turned out if I did everything like I intended to. If I wasn't so scared. I just feel like I missed out on something big when I was younger, and I just mourn the loss every now and then. It doesn't mean I'm not happy with you right now, but it really makes you think, right?"

Your frown looks heavy, like you’re the one holding all of Kita's pain.

After a moment, you say, "I used to believe that youth was special and extraordinarily beautiful too. Everything was new and I think there's a certain beauty to that. That even in our struggle, we were so beautiful. Looking back on it now, I don't think that's true. And the older I get, the more I'm convinced that the people who believe that peaked in high school or university. I think our youth could be beautiful, but I don't understand how other ages of our life couldn't be beautiful either. I don't think happiness or beauty could be measured or compared. The flavor of it is just different."

You sigh, "I just… think it's sad if youth was the peak. Life is so long. And I think you're so valid to be sad over the loss, but also, I hope you're more comforted by the fact that better things can and will come."

Your words are a comfort, in the same way that everything else about you is too. And for the moment, he is comforted, but he knows himself, knows the routines his brain loves to lean into when he's tired and low and feeling the loneliest color of blue in the world. So he says, "I am comforted, but if I forget, could you just remind me?"

"Oh, Shin," you lean down again and kiss him on the forehead, and Kita nearly cries at the tenderness of it. "We'll make so many good and beautiful memories that I won't have to. But if you forget, just tell me, and I'll hold you like this and remind you again and again."

It’s moments like this that make Kita feel like all the pain of the past has been worth it. His early life had been cold like winter, but it doesn’t hurt as much knowing it gave him you, something as bright as the lemons and oranges that were born during the harshest season of the earth.

Because even now, with snow falling heavily around the tiny home they’ve built around each other, he feels perfectly warm.

.

.

.

For all their emphasis on being in a more secluded honeymoon destination, they do end up spontaneously deciding to spend the night in Seoul.

They leave early in the morning, taking only one suitcase with them filled with enough clothes to get them through the trip. They’re coming back to Nami Island after all.

It’s nearly a two hour train ride to Seoul from there. Two hours is a long time, which they spend either asleep or just staring out the window, watching the world outside pass by in a blur of whites and blues. You fall asleep within the first ten minutes, head lolling about until Kita presses it against his shoulder.

He eventually falls asleep too, with your hands in his lap and the sight of your rings glinting under the soft morning light in his mind.

Once their train arrives at the station, they’re woken up by the conductor’s announcement.

They stand outside the station, watching their breaths mingle with the air. You shiver, even though your body is wrapped up in a fluffy coat and your neck is hidden by a thick scarf and your hands are kept warm by mittens. You burrow yourself by Kita’s side, and maybe now, Kita can admit that Aran was partly right.

He does want it to be cold, so that his wife could hold onto him like this.

“Did you find us a place?” You ask. “Maybe we should have thought this through a little more.”

Kita turns to you, “Oh, now you want to be less impulsive. What did you say last night? Shin, we’ll figure it out. Stop overthinking it like a hag.”

You pout, “Because I was cold! And you were on your phone, far away, and not paying attention to me. What was I supposed to do?”

“How old are you, darling?” Kita pinches your cheek. They turn pinker at the squeeze. “I can’t believe you bullied me into this. We didn’t even book a hotel. What if they’re all fully booked?”

“They won’t be,” you say, pushing his hand away and rubbing your cheek. “I’m just complaining right now because it’s cold. You’re not stressed, are you?”

Kita wasn’t, but now that the possibility of not finding a hotel is brought up, he finds that yes, he is a little stressed. What would they do?

“You are!” you shake your head, “Don’t be, babe. Hand me your phone. I’ll handle it.”

And you do handle it, even if you have to take off your mitten to work the phone and you have to blow on your hands to warm them up. It doesn’t even take you that long to find a place to stay.

“Here,” you say, handing his phone back to him. “Let’s quickly get a taxi so we can drop off our luggage and go exploring.”

“Hey,” Kita says and waits for you to turn to him before he presses a kiss to your cheek.

You blink, “What was that for?”

Kita shrugs, averting his eyes, “I don’t know. For taking care of me, I guess.”

You soften, “It’s nothing. You would do the same for me.”

It’s easy from there. They check-in at their hotel to drop off their luggage. From then on, it’s an exercise in spontaneity led by you, who claims that all Kita has to worry about is holding your hand.

And what does a day trip led by you look like?

It’s pretty fun. They take the train to get to the center of the city and then they begin to explore starting there. They’re both well-traveled and have seen more tourist spots than either one can bear, so they spend their day just walking around. It’s a nice way to discover a city without the burden of having to see certain sights just because they’re supposedly famous.

This way, they end up stumbling into a variety of things. First of which is an honest-to-god Snow Festival that neither of them knew was happening but are super stoked about. It’s an amazing parade of ice sculptures, and they go around and try to decide which one they think is the best. Kita thinks the best one is the sculpture of an actual temple. It looks too real and detailed not to be the best. You think the sculpture of Pikachu is the best. When Kita asks why, you say it’s because it evokes an emotional response from the heart. Kita thinks you chose it just because you think it’s cute.

Another thing they stumble upon is this amazing restaurant for jjajangmyeon. It’s tucked in behind an alley and they only find it because of the line beginning to gather outside it. It’s a gem of a find; it’s amazingly savory, the combination of the salt coming from the sauce and the tender meat. It’s so good he even risks the threat of murder by stealing a slice of pork from your bowl.

After that, they end up topping off their lunch with a trip to confectionary factory. You had pulled him towards it with starry eyes, and Kita was powerless to refuse. They take their time exploring the place, watching experts make chocolate and letting themselves be your sweet tooth craves it. He lets you feed him some, and they’re pretty good. But that’s probably only because you’re the one feeding him.

And because the world is small, they stumble into someone he knows too.

“Kita Shinsuke!” He hears someone call him as he’s waiting for you to come out of the restroom.

He’s wrapped in a hug before he can even process who it is. The person pulls away and to say he’s shocked is an understatement, “Ichika?”

“Shin,” the woman smiles brightly, taking him in. “You look good. I did a double-take just now, because I thought I saw someone familiar. And I was right! Don’t know anybody else this tall and good-looking.”

“Ichika,” He says, embarrassed. She’s always been so direct, and he sees that she hasn’t changed. Same old Ichika, with her sharp hair cut short and sharper personality.

She hits him on the shoulder, “You haven’t changed! Still can’t take a compliment without wanting to die, huh? How have you been?”

“I’ve been fine,” Kita says vaguely, not wanting to get into a full blown catch-up in the middle of a street, “What about you? What are you doing here?”

Ichika sighs, running her hands through her hair, “I’ve been so busy. You know how it is in the fashion industry, it’s always about trying to chase the new thing. Being ahead of the future, so that we can set the trends.”

“Same job, then?” Kita asks, “Still working for that fashion boutique company?”

“Yup,” Ichika nods, before smiling slyly at him, “Unless… you have a spot at yours?”

Kita laughs, “You really, really haven’t changed. I’ll see if anything’s open, just send me an email in case I forget.”

Ichika exclaims, “An email? Kita Shinsuke, am I dirt to you?” She pulls out her phone, “I am not sending a work email to you. That’s weird. Is your number still the same?”

“I thought you deleted my number,” Kita raises a brow.

“I was just kidding when I said that. Is that why you never bothered texting me?” Ichika narrows her eyes. She sighs looking away, “I… understood why you did it. It was decent of you to let me know.” She looks back at him with a considering glance, “I’m still fond of you… Shin, if you ever change your mind—”

“Ichika-kun,” Kita shakes his head, uncomfortable at where her next words were about to lead. “I’m married now.”

She pouts at him, “I said if you ever change your mind later. In any case, we should definitely catch up. How long are you in Seoul?”

How does Kita respond to this without leading her on? Before he can come up with an answer, he hears somebody else call his name, “Shin!”

He turns and he sees you walking up to him with a bright smile on your face, grabbing a hold of his arm, before turning to Ichika,  “Oh, hello.”

Ichika smiles, “You must be the wife.”

“Yup, that’s me,” you chirp. You don't extend a hand when you introduce yourself, “Kita Y/N. And who are you?”

“Sato Ichika,” she introduces, though she glances at Kita when she says that. “Kita’s old friend. Just saw him as I was walking around and thought, what a coincidence.”

“Ah, Shin has never mentioned you,” you pout at him, “Any friend of Shin’s is a friend of mine. Are you busy? Would you like to have dinner together? I would love to get to know you more.”

Kita is praying Ichika says no, and for once, his prayers are answered. She smiles politely, “Sorry, I’ve got plans tonight already. Maybe some other time. It was nice meeting you, Y/N. Shin, it’s really good to see you.”

“It’s nice to see you too,” Kita says, feeling like he dodged a bullet when they say their goodbyes.

But as the day goes on, it doesn’t feel that way.

Your bright demeanor darkens, like the sky as its sun sets slowly but surely in the horizon. Kita doesn’t feel anything amiss at first.

You talk to him like nothing’s wrong, laugh at all the right things, and hold onto him tight. But by the time they get to dinner, you’re playing with your food, which doesn’t feel right. You’ve both been walking around all day, so you should be famished.

But when he asks you what’s wrong, all he gets is this: “I’m just tired, Shin. Do you think we can go back to our hotel room?”

Even then, he tries not to read into it. It makes sense that one would be tired, but when he tries to kiss you on the lips, you turn your head and his mouth awkwardly lands on your cheek.

And when they get back to the hotel room, you immediately pull away, making a bee line for your clothes and entering the bathroom with a few bare words.

You’d been fine, Kita thinks, until Jiwoo. Fuck, how much did you hear? Kita replays that conversation back, but thinks it’s fine? He had drawn the line clearly with her. Besides, if you had problems with it, you wouldn’t have invited her for dinner. You would have told Kita immediately if anything was wrong, so maybe that’s not it.

But if not that, then what?

Kita doesn’t remember doing anything wrong. But that doesn’t mean he didn’t do anything wrong either. He’s about to tear his hair out when you step out of the bathroom in pajamas and eyes a watery red.

“Baby,” Kita stands up immediately, feeling like his heart’s been pierced through, “What’s wrong? Were you crying?”

“I don’t want to talk about it,” you say, hiding your face by drying your hair with a towel.

Kita understands the need for space. He does, he really does. And any other time, he’d give it, but every part of him says this is something they shouldn’t sleep on. Especially when he feels like he’s the cause of it. He walks up to you, bending low to make eye contact, and says, “Y/N, I think we should talk about it.”

“Not right now,” you say, moving away again to avoid his gaze.

“Then when?” Kita asks, wanting to plead, don’t pull away, not from me.

“I don’t know,” you sigh, sounding tired and weary and a little bit of something else. Frustrated, maybe, but Kita can’t tell for sure. It feels like you’re closing up, with every step he takes. “Just leave it.”

Kita bites his lip, “Is it something I did? You—”

“Shinsuke.” you say. His name has never sounded so harsh coming out of your mouth. “I said to just leave it.”

You start stalking away to the other side of the room, and Kita can’t help but follow, grabbing a hold of your hand. But it’s barely in his grasp, before you take it away from him.

It reminds him of how easily good things can slip away in the span of a moment, and something desperate claws its way through him, “Don’t walk away from me, please. Y/N, come on—”

“God,” you angrily cursed as you whirl around to face him, “Can you please leave me alone for a second? Can you leave me to just process this before we talk about this? Can’t you see that I’m trying hard to be composed about this?”

Again, if it were anything else, Kita would. But he feels so strongly in his gut that this will only fester if he doesn’t say anything. He doesn’t want you to go to bed angry at him, especially when he doesn’t even know what you’re angry about.

“What are you trying to process?” Kita says, wanting to tear his hair out. “I’m hoping it’s not this, but I can’t think of anything else. Is this about Ichika-kun?”

You give him a withering look, “Ichika-kun?”

“Yes!” Kita confirms, eyes widening in disbelief at your tone. “Are you jealous? Is that it? Y/N, we’re married.”

“That’s not what it looked like back there,” you cross yout arms, looking away.

Kita frowns, “She’s just a friend.”

You scoff, “She’s not just your friend. She’s literally your ex-girlfriend. Do you think I’m stupid? Do you think I didn’t hear her ask for your number? That she wasn’t inviting you out even though she knew you were already married?”

“So, you did hear that,” Kita says, which ends up being the completely wrong thing to say because it just darkens your expression even more. “How… did you know she was my ex?”

“You might not have cared who you were going to marry, but I did,” you say, like the reminder pains you. “I told you. I did my research. And that’s the last person you dated before you married me. Why didn’t you tell me?”

Kita swallows, “Because… I thought it didn’t matter. It was a good break-up and we promised to stay as friends.”

You don't say anything to that for an agonizing moment, before nodding. That’s all you do though, and it’s just not enough.

“You have no reason to be jealous,” Kita says, wanting badly to reach out and touch you. He doesn’t think you would let him though. “I promise. Don’t be. I’m yours.”

“You say that now,” you say, sounding out of reach. “But maybe later, you’ll feel differently. I mean, it’s not like you wanted to marry me in the first place. I knew that from the very beginning and I still fell for you. I still fell hard enough that I excused the fact that I’m always the one making the first move, that I always have to pull what you want out of you. I used to get scared of making requests of you, because I didn’t want you to say yes just to please me. What if your mother told you to keep me happy, so this marriage wouldn’t fall through? Am I forcing you into this? Maybe,” you swallow, shaking, “you don’t want to be with your ex, but maybe there’s somebody else you want to give your heart to? Is that something I should be worried about? Is there going to be other people in this marriage—”

“Baby, no,” Kita says with horror, grabbing a hold of your hands and trying to unfurl them from the fists they’d become.

You continue, as if you didn’t hear him, gaze hard and intolerable, “If there’s going to be other people, you have to let me know now. I don’t care if this marriage is arranged. I don’t care if it’ll plunge your parents’ or mine’s companies into bankruptcy. I’ve been cheated on and used for my parents’ name before and I refuse to suffer through that again. If you put me through that, I will leave you and take half of your assets.”

Kita barely even knows where to begin. There’s so much to parse through with what you’ve said, but he figures he’ll start with the words that stand out the most, “You’ve been cheated on?”

You don't answer. But you don't need to. Your silence speaks of shame, and Kita can hear it clearly. Slowly, the pieces come together and create a picture that starts making sense.

“Your ex,” Kita says, “That one we met. That one you didn’t want to talk about. He’s the one who cheated on you.”

You nods, and the confirmation fills Kita with the understanding of why good people commit murder. Right there and then, Kita wishes he had asked Suna for all the information he could get on your ex. He wishes he had punched the guy when he’d seen him.

But this isn’t about how Kita feels right now. This is about you and how scared you feel that Kita might do the same thing.

“I’m sorry that he did that to you,” Kita says, cupping your cheeks, “Nobody deserves to be cheated on, least of all you.”

You blink and a tear slips out. Kita wipes it with his thumb, and somehow, it’s that gesture that breaks you down. “I’m sorry,” you cry.

This time, Kita doesn’t hesitate to gather you in his arms. He holds you, stroking the back of your head until your tears subside. And when you’re done, he doesn’t mention how tight your hold on his shirt is. He doesn’t mention his tear-soaked shoulder. He doesn’t say anything at all until you break the silence.

With your flushed cheeks and red nose, you tell him, “Shin, I promise I’m not in love with him.”

Kita makes a surprised noise, “I know. I believe you.”

“I don’t know why it still hurts. I’ve moved on from this. I’m over him,” you say, “I swear I am.”

“And I believe you,” Kita stresses, “I wish it didn’t hurt you still, but I understand if it still does. Even if you’re over him. That kind of thing, that kind of hurt almost always outlasts the event. Do… do you want to talk about it?”

You sigh, “Yeah...yeah, I think you should know.”

They sit on their bed, and Kita waits patiently for you to begin, “I don’t know how much you know about him, but he’s an idol. He’s the reason I became really popular actually, because he was a fan of my work and he spoke about it on social media. Anyway, because he’s an idol, we had to keep it a secret that we were dating and that went on the whole time we were together. But on New Year’s, Dispatch came out with this story that he was in a relationship, with evidence and everything,” you smile bitterly at him, “It was with someone else, another idol, and I thought at first that maybe it was a mistake, but their companies went ahead and confirmed it too. They’re both really popular, so their fans were actually super happy for them. I…  met up with him only once after, to properly break up with him and give him back everything he ever gave me. And then I never talked to him again, until we saw him at Shinjuku.”

“I really thought I’ve moved on from it, but today, seeing you with your ex, I just lost my mind,” you say with a frown, “At first, I was just annoyed because how can she just say that when you’re already married and act perfectly normal when talking to me. But then, I couldn’t stop thinking about it. And the more I thought about it, the more I spiraled until I couldn’t see straight and all I could think about was the possibility that you’d leave me for somebody else too.”

He grabs ahold of your hand, both of which were clenched by your sides, and unfurls your fingers so that he can hold them. “You have to know that there’s not going to be anybody else. I don’t know how much words mean to you right now, but I swear to you on everything that I have, it’s just you. And just in case it needs to be said, I wouldn’t want you to bring anybody else into our marriage. I don’t want an open relationship. Is that okay with you?”

“Yes,” you say, sounding and looking so small. Kita wants to hold you again. “Is there anything else you want? For us?”

Your question reminds Kita of what you’d said earlier, “What I want… I don’t know what I want fully. I just know that I want you, and I’m sorry if you feel like you’re always the one making the first move,” Kita pauses, trying to find the right words to say, “I’m still learning to be okay with chasing after what I want. To actually voice it out. But I’m trying really, really hard.”

Kita sighs, squeezing your hands, “And I’m not doing that for my parents. I’m doing that for you, because you mean so much to me.”

And if Kita’s being honest, he’s doing it for himself too. When you grow up with parents who never seem to love you unless you’re doing well, you grow up with the idea that you’re only wanted when you please someone.

But you have never made him feel that way. You always make Kita tell you what he wants first, before saying anything. And it’s not about pleasing you so that you would want him. It’s about reciprocating the gesture, so that the person he cherishes is happy too. And he loves that he gets to practice that here, that he gets to prove to his younger self who was so convinced he’d been cursed because his parents never taught him how to love that he absolutely can. You’re not ruined, he wants to say.

His words seem to have thawed you completely. “Shin,” you say, touched.

“Come here,” Kita says, patting his lap and you climb on without hesitation. Kita lets you straddle his lap, simply wrapping his arms around your waist, just as you wrap your arms around his shoulders. This, Kita thinks, this is how close we should always be.

“I’m sorry again,” you say, “For blowing up on you. I just got scared. I shouldn’t have thrown the fact that you didn’t want to marry me when I know how it’s been for you with your parents. This is an arranged marriage, it was for my name—”

Kita cuts you off, “It doesn’t matter how it started, because what I feel for you right now has nothing to do with your family’s name. It’s purely just you. I love coming home to you for dinner. I love doing all sorts of fun things with you on the weekends. I like going to bed with you. I even worked super hard to get this much time off work, so we can spend all this time together on our honeymoon. You’ve upended my sad life and made it happy, Y/N. You, and only you.”

You sniff, hiding your face against Kita’s shoulder, “I’m going to cry again. Maybe you should keep holding your feelings in. It’s not good for my heart to hear you say all of that. I’m embarrassed.”

Kita laughs like a child at your words, wholeheartedly endeared. You lift your head at the sound, and Kita settles at the sight of your face. Your nose is still red, your eyes are puffy, the whole of you looks tender, and still—you’re the most beautiful thing Kita’s ever seen. “Can I kiss you?”

“No,” you say, immediately covering your face, “I look ugly right now.”

“Are you fishing for compliments right now?” Kita raises a brow, “I know that you know that you’re absolutely gorgeous.”

“But I was crying just now,” you reason, peeking between the spaces of your fingers, “I can’t believe you saw me ugly. You should only see my good side, Shin.”

Kita helplessly sighs, slowly unfurling your hands from your face, uncovering you like a rose, petal by petal, and says, “But what can I do? I want every part of you.”

And then he kisses your red mouth tender until you completely understand just how much Kita wants you.

.

.

.

It’s in the morning after that it hits him.

Maybe it’s the way he wakes up—sleep-drenched and kiss-drunk and to your beautiful face. Maybe it’s the emotional night they just had. Maybe it’s just the natural culmination of every day and every night they’ve spent together since their wedding, but he wakes up today and just knows.

He rains kisses on your face, from your forehead to your temples to your nose to your cheeks until he reaches the endless road to your mouth.

You wake up giggling, hand pushing his face away, “Let me sleep, please, please, please. You can’t expect me to sleep late and wake up early to entertain you.”

Kita pretends to think about it and then says, “I’ll consider it if you give me a kiss.”

“Demanding,” you comment with a shake of your head. Kita only puckers his lips as a response. You groan, hold him by the chin and give him a kiss. “There. Happy?”

“Sooooo happy,” Kita dives in for more kisses, until he can’t kiss you anymore because you’re both too busy laughing.

When he settles down and you’re still mid-beam, he feels it so strongly in his chest. Without thinking, he says, “Y/N, I think I’m in love with you.”

“You, uh, what?” You sputter with wide eyes.

“No, not I think,” Kita pushes forward, grabbing both of your hands and holding them to his chest, “Y/N, I’m in love with you.”

You breathe, looking at him like you’re seeing him for the first time, “Shin, I—”

And Kita waits and waits with bated breath until he realizes that you might not feel the same just yet.

“It’s okay if you don’t feel the same,” Kita reassures you, but he winces when he realizes that disappointment has seeped in his voice.

“Shinsuke,” You say, looking at him with the biggest puppy dog eyes, before burying your head into his chest.

Kita sighs, threading his hand down the back of your head. “It really is okay. I’m sorry if it made you feel uncomfortable. I wasn’t thinking and I just said what I felt because I woke up and just knew.”

You peek up at him with a frown, “Don’t apologize for being in love with me. I… I like you a lot and I care for you a lot and I adore you a lot. And I wasn’t uncomfortable, I was just surprised. I just thought that if we were to ever get there, I would get there first. I didn’t expect you…”

“You didn’t expect that I’d be there already?” Kita asks. “I’m glad I can surprise you too. But is it really surprising? Who wouldn’t fall for you?”

“Stop it…” you say, embarrassed to the point where you’re hiding your face again.

Kita laughs, not letting you hide. “You’ve been so shy lately. Last night too. Where’s my wife and her hubris so high it could reach Olympus?”

“What happened to my husband? I miss him. Where did you hide him? He was so cute and earnest,” you lament. You frown at him, “You’re so lucky I like you so much, you bastard, it drives me crazy sometimes…”

Kita closes his eyes, pretending to savor his words, “I like you so much, you bastard, that sounds almost as sweet as I love you.”

You smack him, “Shut up! Stop embarrassing me—”

Kita laughs, managing to catch your wrist before your hand could get another swipe in, “Stop hitting me. I’m literally in love with you. Baby, I love you—”

The reminder stuns you to silence, your whole face blossoming red. Kita softens, “Let me be sincere, even if it’s embarrassing for both of us. I love you and it really is okay if it takes you a while to catch up. Let me lead in our relationship for once, okay?”

You nod, “I’m almost there anyway. Just wait for me.”

“Oh yeah?” Kita bites his lip. “How close is almost there?”

“Shin!” you admonish, “I thought you said it’s fine if it takes me a while.”

“It is!” Kita says, “I just want to know how far you are from my heart. And also if I can do anything to help you get there faster.”

You press yourself against him, curl your leg around his hip, face close, mouths a breath apart, “I’m this close. Just love me as you are. And I’ll get there soon enough.”

“Okay,” Kita says, against your lips, “I can do that.”

.

.

.

Eventually, their honeymoon ends and they're due for their flight back home.

You're lying in the bed while Kita tries to finish packing his clothes.

"I don't want to go home," you say, voice coming out muffled from having your face squished into a pillow.

"Me neither," Kita says, steadily folding his clothes, "But we have to. We've already extended a couple days. Time to face reality again, babe."

You roll dramatically to the edge of the bed, where you easily poke Kita's back with your foot, "It's like you're excited to go back home."

Kita rolls his eyes, turning to you, "I literally just said I don't want to go back either."

You continue, all forlorn like you didn't hear a single thing that he said, "Going back to being my husband's side hoe. He's coming home to his real first love, his work."

"You're ridiculous," Kita laughs. "Remember when I came home expecting cuddles, but you decided to put your work first instead of me."

"Yes, that's because you're also my side hoe," You lie on his side, propping your head up with your hand. You look at him, like you’re appraising a painting, and say, "My pretty, pretty side hoe. You should let me paint you some time. I swear you could have been a model in another life."

Kita flushes at the compliment, feeling pink and pleased, "You think so?"

You covers your face, "You're so fucking cute when you get shy." you demand, "Come here. Come here right now and kiss the love of your life."

Kita wishes they were still at that part of their relationship (which was a couple nights ago) where you would get embarrassed at hearing I love you. Here they are now, with you unable to go a single moment without bringing it up. The audacity of this woman.

"Just for that, I'm going to continue packing," Kita turns back to his clothes. He's almost done with it anyway.

"Babe!" You whine, but Kita doesn't budge, "Y/N come here. This is really cutting into our cuddle time. We could both be done at the same time, but then I'm going to be done while you're going to have to still pack your stuff. Which really isn't ideal."

You stay silent for a moment, considering his words, before you say, "Fine. You make a great point."

You finally get out of bed and grab the suitcase you’ve been storing in the other room and then carry all your clothes into your current room as well. "Still can't believe you got two rooms. What a waste of money," You say, shaking your head as you open up the suitcase.

"You are not bringing this up again," Kita knows he will never live this down. He's sure he'll hear about this from his friends too, because you’ve decided Aran is your new best friend and doesn't know how to keep a secret. "I was just giving you options."

You hum, "Uhuh… we were already sleeping together in the same bed every night. Why would I suddenly choose to sleep in a different bed with you on our honeymoon?" At Kita's non-response, you sigh, "What am I gonna do with you, Kita Shinsuke? Are we gonna go back home and sleep in separate beds too?"

"You're so terrible," Kita says, throwing a dirty sock at your face. "As if you can sleep without me."

You narrowly dodge the sock and huff, "It's not my fault you're so warm." You throw the sock back at Kita, who doesn't dodge on time. Sometimes, the world wants to see you suffer.

You clear your throat, "By the way… I was thinking about how we should talk about our separate rooms back home. It's kind of odd to be talking about this, you know… considering we're married and all..."

"It's okay, this isn't really a conventional relationship." Kita reaches for your hand and holds it. "I do want us to share the same room. I can move my stuff around in my room, you can redecorate to however you want it—"

You gasp audibly, "Why not move to my room?"

"Well," Kita starts, "because my bed is bigger, and my room is bigger."

You raise a brow, "Then why do we always sleep in my room?"

"Because we always end up there," Kita shrugs, "Because you always pull me in and I can't say no to you. Because I really like the vibes of your room. Take your pick."

"Then why are we moving to your room?" You cross your arms over your chest.

"So we can combine our stuff in one place and have enough space for it," Kita explains, "Come on, wouldn't it be nicer to have a bigger bed?"

You roll your eyes, "My bed is barely smaller than yours. But… fine. I'll move in with you."

"Yay," Kita leans over and smooches your cheek. "Thank you. Love you."

Whatever frown you wear disappears, smoothed over by simple words. Looking at your small but unmissable smile, Kita thinks he should take back his previous statement. There's nothing to miss about you being embarrassed about hearing I love you. Not when you’re this happy hearing it. Not when you’re this pleased to know you’re married to someone who loves you.

Not when you’re here, ready to say I love you — something for Kita to look forward to.

.

.

.

They go home.

Their honeymoon begins to feel like a distant dream, but it’s alright. Life comes together so beautifully after that.

His days begin to blur into each other like this, hues of work and home all blending into contentment, until one day those days turn into months, and he realizes he’s happy.

And there’s so many reasons for it:

There’s going home to a warm meal, a beautiful home, and a wife whom he loves.

There’s the weekends, where they take trips to far out places just because they can.

There’s dinners, group dates, outings, and even weddings with their friends.

There’s new traditions, like decorating their home in red and green and hanging up a tree for Christmas. It includes suffering through insufferable dinners together with his family, and being overwhelmed at the welcome he receives at yours. It includes exchanging gifts and realizing how well you’ve come to know each other, how far you’ve come.

There’s New Year’s too, when their friends somehow convince them to throw a party.

This, Kita hopes, doesn’t become a tradition. It’s fun but loud and involves more people at their home than expected.

In the middle of decadent cakes and champagne, of fireworks and New Year’s Eve countdowns, there’s you wrapping your arms around his waist, whispering into his ear: people say you’ll spend the rest of the year with the person you kiss when the clock strikes twelve, and then proceeding to kiss him stupid.

This, he hopes, becomes a tradition.

There’s birthdays too, and the first birthday they celebrate together is yours.

He throws a little dinner party for that too, at some beautiful rooftop in Tokyo, with the city glimmering around them.

It’s unfortunate that there were no stars visible in the sky, but seeing you, surrounded by family and friends, more than makes up for it.

You both go home, half-stumbling, tipsy on champagne and happiness.

“Baby,” Kita says as he tries to input the house code while trying to support your weight, “You’re not only getting older but heavier.”

“Stop reminding me I’m old. I’m still young and sexy,” you complain. “Besides, you’re the one that’s almost thirty.”

Kita laughs, “Hey, this isn’t about me. This is about you. And the fact that you’re twenty-eight. That’s real late twenties. Remember when you were comforting me with the fact that there’s beauty in all ages?”

“Okay, I know what I said,” You stand upright, looking so seriously sober Kita wonders if this mini existential crisis absorbed all the alcohol in your body. “But I really can’t pretend to not be a real adult anymore, you know?”

“Hate to break it to you, sweetheart,” Kita pushes the door open and in they go, “But you’re not only twenty-seven, you also have a career and you’re married. I think you’ve been a real adult for the past couple of years. Just because you stay up until three in the morning while I’m asleep doesn’t change that.”

You stare at him, “How do you know I do that? I make sure to put a pillow in your arms, so you don’t notice.”

Kita stares right back, unimpressed, “You think a pillow could replace you?”

You suddenly look very, very pleased with that statement, “You’re unreal. Stop flirting with me.”

“You always say that when you want me to continue,” Kita rolls his eyes, “I know you so well.”

You sigh, the sound of it sweet. “Yeah, you do.”

And then after a beat:

“You know what,” you say, like you just thought of it randomly as they’re taking off their shoes and putting their slippers on, “I love being married to you.”

It’s not an “I love you” by any means, but god, does it feel like one.

The words unmoor him, has him steadying himself against the wall, his socked feet halfway in his slippers. When he manages to find his voice, it comes out thick with emotion, “You mean that?”

Upon hearing his voice, you turn to look at him, frowning when you meet his eyes, “Of course I do. Listen, we’re still at the beginning and the road ahead is long, but I love that it’s you I’m doing this with. Didn’t I tell you that I chose well?”

“Mhmm,” Kita nods, his hand coming up to hide his face. “You did,” He says, wetly.

“Are you crying?” you say, voice coming down to a whisper, the way adults usually do with crying children.

Kita hates feeling like a child, hates being treated like one even more, but he finds that he doesn’t take offense at the way you’re talking softly like this.

Maybe it’s the way this hurt you’re soothing is as old as a small child. Maybe it’s the way your words pierce through time, straight through to the child Kita once was, the one that wanted to be loved just the way he was.

Either way, there’s a weight lifted off his chest—unbearably heavy but unnoticed until it was gone. How long did he bear it?

Kita rubs his nose, sniffling as he does, “It’s nothing. I’m just really happy you said that.”

You wrap him in your arms, letting Kita bury his face against your shoulder, softly rubbing his back as you say, “I got lucky with you. I don’t know how I managed to pick someone with a heart so big and rare. Someone who’s also talented and driven and smart. I don’t know.”

Kita feels the same. He got lucky and he doesn’t know why.

But maybe it’s not about deserving. Maybe that part doesn’t even matter at all.

All he knows is he’s never letting go.

hold me close

summary: atsumu reveals his insecurities to you after a bad day

warnings: hurt/comfort, atsumu having self loathing thoughts about himself but you're there to make him feel better

a/n: ngl idk how to really feel about this, not sure if i like it or not but eh i got something written and i wanted to write about comforting atsumu. also sorry for the terrible ending i just kept writing but the ending stumped me skksksk

~~~

Atsumu had a bad day.

You could tell when you heard the door to your shared apartment open, but there was no 'baby I'm home!' It was a signal for stormy weather. It always felt as though the sun came with him, warm and bright, lighting up the entire apartment with his presence. But now, the brightness was covered by clouds. Gloomy clouds. Your ears pick up on his heavy steps, thundering through the floorboards.

As the footsteps approach the bedroom, you close your laptop and put it off to the side. Did something happen at practice? Did he have a fight with Osamu? There were many possibilities, but you wouldn't know for sure which one was the correct one unless Atsumu told you himself.

The door opens to reveal Atsumu who was hunched over, his eyes screaming with exhaustion. He looks worse than you expected. For as tall and built as your boyfriend was, he was a small flame now. Flickering, barely holding on, threatening to be extinguished.

Wordlessly, you open your arms wide in invitation. The mattress creaks under his weight as he crawls in between your legs, slumping against your chest and wrapping his arms around your waist. He buries his face into your chest, hiding from you, hiding from the world. One arm lays across his back while your other hand cups the back of his head.

"Welcome home, Tsumu," you softly say. There was no response.

Not hearing Atsumu talk was strange. He always had something to say, either about his teammates or his brother or something he saw on social media. His silence was unnerving to say the least, but as much as you wanted to ask him what's wrong, you keep your mouth shut. You feel it would be wrong to disturb this silence. The way Atsumu sinks into your arms, seeking your comfort, you figure words weren't need for now. So, you stroke his hair and rub his back, letting him know that you were here

Moments pass by until Atsumu takes in a deep breath. "Ya know I would never cheat on ya, right?"

You blink. That was not something you expected to hear. "Of course not, what brought this on?"

Atsumu turns so his cheek rests against your chest. "Some bastard was talkin' on and on 'bout how I would fuck another girl behind yer back." His eyebrows crease together as he says this. "Made sure to punch him real good." he mutters. "Shoulda punched him more, an' harder."

Your hand instinctively tugs his arm up from underneath your body, gasping when you see the bruise on his knuckles. "Tsumu-"

" 'm fine," he pulls his hand back, wrapping around your body once more.

Physically maybe, but something was still bothering him. Atsumu grows quiet again, staring off into the wall, off in another place. You think about his words, or rather the words someone else had said about him. It ticks you off.

"They're stupid, acting like they know how you are," you settle on. The media loves to paint him as some sort of player and because of that, that's how people end up seeing Atsumu. An amazing setter, but also a man who hops from woman to woman like some sort of game of hopscotch.

You've seen people theorizing on social media on how long it'll be before Atsumu ditches you. It's pathetic really, how they treat your relationship like a game and Atsumu as some sort of heartbreaker when that couldn't have been farther from the truth. Unlike the media, you know Atsumu.

You know how he always stuff his face with his brother's food because his onigiris are the damn best onigiris in the world. You know how he grows pouty whenever you beat him on video games. You know how much he loves to kiss your lips, making you feel like you're the most precious girl in the entire world.

"It made me think," Atsumu starts off. "People think I would cheat on ya cos' yer not good enough fer me, that there's someone else out there, but they're wrong. They're all fuckin wrong," he spits out.

He raises his head from your chest to finally look at you. "Yer the only one f'me, the only one who has ma heart, the only one I wanna come home ta. There's no one else, just you. Always you."

Your eyes soften at his words. "Tsumu...," you say in a hushed voice, moving to cup his cheeks but he moves his head back, turning away from you. Confusion covers your face. "What is it?"

Atsumu drags out a heavy sigh, coming from the depths of his very soul. " "s just...'m not good enough fer ya." he confesses quietly.

"How long have you felt this way?" you ask gently. It feels as though this has been something he's been thinking about for some time, something that's been festering in the dark corners of his mind, his insecurities coming to bloom.

He runs a hand through his hair. "Fer a while."

"It's not true-"

" it is," he insists, cutting you off. Atsumu shakes his head. " 'm not good enough, never will be." his voice shakes and cracks like small embers on logs. How many times has he repeated this to himself?

He swallows, shuddering breaths escaping him. "Ya deserve so much, ya deserve everythin. But 'm not enough. I don't deserve ya." tears fill his eyes. " 'm know I'm away at games a lot an' I can be a prick an' just...i get scared. That one day, you'll leave me."

Tears stream down his face, heavy sobs crawling up from his throat. You feel hot tears of your own burning behind your eyes. "Baby no," you choke out, cupping his cheeks. "I would never leave you, never."

"Please don't," Atsumu croaks. "Please stay, please. I know I have no right, that I don't deserve ya but I don't think I can be without ya."

It hurts, hearing him talk about himself that way. For many, Atsumu was confident. Confident in volleyball, his words, his actions, but he's been hiding this all this time. Hiding how he feels, his unworthiness, his self loathing.

You pull his head down to your neck, allowing him to seek refuge there. Atsumu muffles his sobs against your skin, his whole body trembling in your arms. Blinking back tears, you keep him as close as possible to your body.

"I love you Atsumu, I love you so much," you whisper, kissing the side of his head. He whimpers, tightening his arms around you. "I love how you hold me, making me feel so safe. I love how you can make me laugh so hard my stomach hurts. I love how passionate you are about volleyball. There's so, so many things I love about you Tsumu. I can't imagine my life, my future, without you. You make me so happy."

You pause, trying to compose yourself. Your shirt is damp, but you don't care. You'll soak in all his sadness, his pain, all of it. You'll take it all from him.

"Please don't say you're not enough Tsumu, because you are. You're more than enough. You're deserving of love, so much love.

Tears stain your cheeks, your breaths short and shaky. You hope Atsumu believes the words, believes you. There's nothing you wouldn't do for him. You would bring the stars down from the sky to make constellations in his name.

The tears have stopped, but Atsumu continues to breathe heavily against you. You go back to playing with his hair, knowing how soothing it is for him.

"Can ya keep holdin me?" His voice is quiet, but you hear him loud and clear.

"For as long as you need."

Am I Nothing to You?

Haikyuu - Akaashi Keiji

Imagine Y/n getting into an accident that she had to be hospitalized, but it just happened to be when Akaashi was out of town due to work. I feel like these type of situation is when you get to see Akaashi not composed. You get to see Akaashi breaking down.

When this happens, Y/n will debate whether or not she should contact and inform Akaashi about her situation, but she decided to go against it since she didn't want to bother him. Also, it wasn't like she was dying, she should be released soon. She thought it wasn't a big deal.

However, her being silent doesn't mean that Akaashi won't be informed of her situation. She forgot about that part that she was shock when her door opened with a loud bang, revealing Akaashi who was out of breath.

"Keiji...?" Y/n called out his name in shock. "What are you doing here? How about work? How did you know I was here?"

When Akaashi looked up, Y/n bit her lips and looked away from him. She saw how he was at the verge of breaking down. She didn't mean to cause him any worries. She felt fine, so she didn't contact him, but apparently that wasn't the case.

"Why...?" Akaashi mumbled as he approached her.

When y/n looked at him hesitantly, he kneeled beside her bed and held her hands tightly. "Why didn't you tell me?"

Y/n opened her mouth to speak, but she couldn't really form any words as she didn't know what to say exactly. Should she be honest? Or should she apologize first?

At her hesitation, Akaashi's grip tightened. "Am I that unreliable? Am I nothing to you?"

"No, of course not!" Y/n said in a hurry. "I... I just... I'm sorry..."

At her apology, Akaashi let out a shaky breath before speaking. "Please... Do you know how I felt when I heard from someone else that you were in an accident? The fact that I wasn't there for you as soon as you woke up, it just broke my heart..."

"I'm sorry, Keiji..." Y/n said in a low voice. "I just didn't want to bother you since you were out of town and I felt fine, so I thought it wasn't significant."

"Everything about you is significant... So please, don't keep these things from me. Tell me..." Akaashi said with pleading voice. "I want to be there for you. To be able to support you, to be someone you can rely on. I want to be your pillar."

Y/n felt her eyes turning teary at his words as she nodded. At her actions, Akaashi sighed in relief before hugging her tightly.

But I feel like this somewhat might have traumatized Akaashi that he developed the habit to video call rather than messaging her since she can just lie through text. But he will still message her even more frequently to check up on her and tries not to go out of town, making sure he was beside her. At the same time, I feel like he will take care of her even more than he used to, keeping a hawk eye on her.

Hi! Can I request for an Oikawa x reader where the reader is somewhat a tsundere and Oikawa is totally in love with the reader but the reader doesn't really believe him bec of his playboy ways (??) And the reader lowkey likes Oikawa too hehe please give it a very cute and fluffy ending 🙏🥺 I know its too much but id be really happy if you can make it. But you can also totally this too tho 😊 Tysm 😁😁

From the Start, It Was You -Oikawa Tooru-

Words: 2510 

--------------------------------------------------------

“Not a good day to forget your umbrella, hm?” 

Oikawa Tooru jumps at the sound of the sudden voice behind him as you blink in surprise, wondering just why the popular boy was on his toes as you look into the cascading rain, pulling a single earbud out of your ear. It was strange seeing people leave school the same time you did, especially when everyone was mostly at their club activities, the art club deciding to release a little earlier today. 

“Yeah. Really not a good day.” Oikawa sighs in response, wondering why you looked so familiar before realizing you were in his grade, assigned to the class next to his. “You’re still here...Y/N, is it?” 

“The famous setter actually knows my name.” You crack a grin, leaning against one of the school pillars as Oikawa notices the paint on the sleeve of your uniform, noticing the slight carelessness in how you dressed your attire, contrasting greatly with the pristine look of the other girls’ as your entire aura held a certain maturity to it that Oikawa hadn’t sensed before. 

“I tend to remember all the pretty girl’s names.” 

“Is this the part where I’m supposed to be flattered?” 

“Well do you know this famous setter’s name?” Oikawa flirts, moving to stand next to you as you scoff a little, pulling out the second earbud as your eyes don’t tear away from the falling water. 

“Oikawa Tooru. I know your friend Matsukawa, he...is very detailed when telling me about you.”

“He probably doesn’t say very good things about me, does he?” Oikawa sweatdrops, feeling his stomach drop before wondering why he cared so much about what you, a stranger, thought about him. 

“Nah, I don’t believe that. You seem like a nice enough guy, it’s not good to believe what other people say about you unless you know the person directly.” 

“Those words sound even better when they’re coming from a girl as pretty as you.” Oikawa says, surprised at how easily the words slipped off his tongue. He had genuinely meant it, feeling a little proud at your melodic laugh that rang in his ears as he found himself wanting to talk to you longer. 

Oikawa swallows, noting that your smile was absurdly pretty. The mature and developed mindset that you held up was different. Different from- 

“Oikawa-Kuuuuuuun! Thanks for waiting!” 

Oikawa flinches, suddenly wishing he hadn’t made any plans. 

You quirk a brow at the girl running out of the school, amused when a second girl follows. And then a third. 

Oikawa’s eyes snap towards you to see you already pushing off the pillar and adjusting your bag strap, offering him a side smile along with your plastic umbrella. You realized why he had been so jumpy earlier, he didn’t have an umbrella to walk these three girls home and was dreading their arrival. 

“It seems like you might need this more than me.” 

“Y/N, wait-” 

“I’m fine! I promise, just...I didn’t expect what Matsukawa said to be true.” You shrug nonchalantly, internally beating yourself up for thinking the attention he had been giving you was genuine. “I’ll see you around school.”

Oikawa’s calls fall short as you run into the rain, not looking back as Oikawa feels the familiar sling of all the girl’s clinging onto him, gushing about how much of a gentleman he was for waiting. 

But he could barely hear them, watching your figure fade into gray distance as he really really wished he hadn’t made any plans today so he could talk with you until the rain shower lifted. 

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------

 “Matsunnnn, just give me her number!” 

“Oi, Iwa. I know punching him is your thing, but mind if I have a go?” 

“Be my guest.” 

Oikawa sighs, staring at his unwrapped milk bread as Hanamaki arches a brow, shoveling rice into his mouth as Iwa and Matsukawa exchange glances. Matsukawa finishes off his onigiri before shrugging.

“Y/N’s cool. I don’t need you playing her for a few weeks until she gets heartbroken like all the others. You know I can’t get a date because I’m your friend?”

Oikawa didn’t know why that rainy day had such an immense effect on him, and found himself wanting to know more about you, finding the time in his day to casually stroll past the art room to catch a glance of you intensely focused on your canvas, fingers stained with color. 

“Dude. That’s called stalking.” 

“Correction, Makki, the art room is a public place.”

“...Are you dumb? That’s still stalking.” 

The brunette had stopped listening, noticing your figure in the distance walking alongside one of your friends, laughing along with her. Making a split decision, Oikawa brings himself to his feet, shuffling around in his bag before jogging up to you, managing to dodge Iwa’s swipe at his collar. 

“Y/N-chaaan!” 

You pause, eyes widening before telling your friend to go ahead without you, walking to meet the popular setter you met in the rain halfway. 

“What do you need, Oikawa-san?” 

Oikawa stills. Why were you so formal all of a sudden? 

“Your umbrella! I still have it, and I wanted to-” 

“Thanks.” You slip the plastic umbrella from his grasp before turning on your heel, frowning when Oikawa grabs your hand to stop your hasty retreat before he can stop himself. 

“I was wondering if you wanted to-?” 

“I’m not interested in being strung along.” You don’t turn back around, simply pulling your hand from his before glancing back at the handsome setter. “Girls aren’t a thing you can mess around with for a little before dumping.” 

“I...I thought you didn’t believe what other-” 

“Okay, so is it true?” You face Oikawa fully, tone challenging as you cross your arms. “Tell me it isn’t, and I’ll believe you.” 

Oikawa discovers his throat is suddenly dry. Could he tell you that it was false?

You chuckle a tad humorlessly, pulling at your paint-stained sleeve. “I have to go, there must be others you can play with, right?” 

Oikawa couldn’t understand the hurt in your tone, nor could he understand the sinking in his chest as he watched you walk off, the sight looking oddly familiar as he remembers the two strangers who stood laughing in the rain before one watched the other walk into the distance. 

------------------------------------

“He’s really not a bad guy, you know?” 

“Matsukawa, you can’t jump from calling him a douchey heartbreaker to not a bad guy.” 

“I have my moods, okay?” 

You laugh a little, doodling in the corner of your paper as you hum. “I’m not interested in being friends with someone like him.” 

“...so like not even as more than friends?” 

You shoot Matsukawa a pointed look as your friend simply smirks back, knowing fully well Oikawa intended to make you his next target. For the past three weeks, Oikawa had made an effort to drop by your club activities with juices for everyone, making the girls in your club swoon and Oikawa’s advances to go unanswered. He even waited for you after school, but you never knew if he was waiting for you or someone else, considering he was never able to call out to you as you brushed by him. 

“I’m not interested.” You repeat, Matsukawa pouting in his friend’s defense. “Okay?” 

Before the volleyball player can retort, you quirk a brow at the girl approaching your desk, slipping a note on the polished wood as she giggles. 

“Oikawa-kun told me to give this to you, Y/N-chan!” 

You narrow your eyes suspiciously. You didn’t know this girl, so what was with the use of the honorific? Your eyes scan the note before scoffing a little, pocketing it as the girl skips off. Matsukawa’s intruding stare makes you shrug, waving it off as you bite your lip, heart beating unintentionally fast at the words written on the paper. 

Come to the gym after school, we need to talk. 

So when you rush out of your classroom as soon as the bell rings, not realizing the paper had slipped out of your pocket, Matsukawa picks it up in the midst of calling your name before his eyes narrow. 

Oikawa’s handwriting had never looked this neat before. 

-----------------------------------

“He’s in here!” 

You had a bad feeling. Why was this girl, obviously one of the heads of his fanclub, excited to lead you to Oikawa? There was no way...

but what if he was? 

You stare at the cracked doors, hearing the girl run off in a fit of giggles as you push the handle, beginning to push the door open when a pair of footsteps come rushing behind you. 

“DON’T-!” 

Everything seemed to happen in slow motion. 

The bucket of muddy water balanced atop the door frame tipped over as you looked up, realization dawning onto you as you wonder just how you fell for such a childish trick. Your eyes shut tight, hands coming up to shield your head from the metal bucket more than the horrid liquid before the sound of footsteps comes closer. 

Oikawa put all the strength he had into his legs to lunge towards you, pulling your defensive figure into his chest tightly as the brunette ducks his head over yours, wincing when the bucket hits his back with a sharp clang. You whimper, wondering why you only felt droplets before you begin to take in the situation, feeling arms wrapped tightly around your figure. 

“O-Oikawa-Kun! Are you alright?!” 

“What are you doing here?” 

“What if we hurt his face?!”  

The brunette looks up at the scatter of girls that emerged from the shadows, cameras and phones ready to record falling loosely at their sides as his expression darkens from the usual sweet, welcoming look he usually dawned. 

“You could have seriously hurt Y/N! What the hell is wrong with all of you?!” 

You close your eyes as your heart beat begins to calm down from the chain of events, hearing whimpers and cries as the girls begin to accuse you of stealing all of their oh-so-loved one’s attention away as Oikawa audibly scoffs in disbelief. 

“I...I don’t even know what to say right now. Don’t call me or talk to me anymore, I’m cutting ties with all of you.” 

You’re still shaking in disbelief as Oikawa tugs you by the wrist out into the hall, continuing to tug you until you begin to take into account what just happened before blinking out of your daze to see the back of his school uniform drenched along with his hair. 

“Shit! U-Um, we have some first aid in the art room, and everyone’s gone home-” You begin to ramble, pulling Oikawa towards the art room nearby as he takes on an unreadable expression, allowing you to guide him before you sit him in one of the seats by the window, rushing to the supply closet afterwards. 

Oikawa watches as you hastily try to towel off his hair the best you can, worry evident in your eyes as he remains silent, soaking in just how pretty you were in the light of the now setting sun. 

“Do you mind if you take off your shirt s-so I can see where you got hit?” 

You remain uneasy as Oikawa stays silent as he begins to unbutton his school uniform, looking away as he does so before your faced with his bare back. Your hand traces gently over the growing bruise as you frown. 

“I’m gonna go get ice-!” 

An arm lashes out to grab yours before you can do so, stopping you in your tracks. 

“I’ll ice it later, this is nothing.” Oikawa’s voice is comforting as he pats the stool in front of him. “Let’s talk.” 

You relax a little, picking up the towel again to continue drying his hair as you wonder how you ended up toweling off the hottest boy in school as he sits in front of you, shirtless. You take a seat, refusing to meet his eyes from that close a proximity.

“About?” You squeak uncharacteristically as Oikawa smiles a little before catching the wrist that was toweling off his hair, laying his forehead down on your shoulder as you yelp. 

“I’m so glad I made it on time.” 

“You’re making it sound like I got shot.” You joke, attempting to push him off before Oikawa lifts his head, brown eyes dead serious as you find yourself, for once, at a loss for words. 

“What happened to you is my fault.” He sighs, playing with your fingers in his own as you feel the wall you built up against him begin to crumble. You feel heat where his fingers trace your cheek gently, almost as if you were the most fragile thing on earth, ready to break or run away at any moment. 

“Yeah. It is.” You laugh breathily, beginning to get up again. “I’m gonna go find that ice-” 

“Y/N.” 

You bite your lip as Oikawa stands, pulling your back into his bare chest. 

“What will it take for you to believe me?” 

“B-Believe what?” 

“Don’t play dumb Y/N, not when you’re so smart.” Oikawa’s breaths tickle your ear as your heart beats loudly against your ribcage, feeling his own heart beat against your back. 

“You’re the one that I want. I’ve never wanted someone so badly before...I don’t even think I’ve ever loved someone before...” 

You tremble, anticipating what he was gonna say next. 

“But then you came into the picture, and I haven’t been able to look away since.”

You relax, feeling as if a huge weight was lifted off your chest before turning, pulling Oikawa down into a fierce kiss which he readily responded to hungrily as all doubt in your mind seems to dissapear with your shared actions. 

“You drive me absolutely crazy, Y/N L/N.” Oikawa smiles as you catch your breath after pulling away, hands tightening around your waist. “So do me a favor?” 

“Are you really in a position to be asking me for favors?” You quirk a brow as Oikawa grins at your sassy reply, feeling as if all the work to win you was worth it. 

“Just one.” Oikawa cups the side of your face, brown eyes examining yours as if he was reading into the depths of them. 

“Don’t fade into the distance anymore away from me, okay?” 

“Tired of the chase?” You tease before Oikawa closes the distance between the two of you a second time, rolling his eyes at your sarcasm with a smile. 

“Very. Allow me to lock you down as mine, Y/N.” 

“Gotta catch me first, don’t get so cheeky.”

And so, the two lovers that had turned from strangers laughed in the middle of the empty classroom as the sun continued to set, an unbuttoned shirt laying side by side with a damp towel as Oikawa Tooru finds his chest filled with an emotion that he had once been blindly searching for, not realizing that the girl who held the key to that emotion-

had been assigned to the class just next to his, paint stained on her sleeves and uniform tucked out of her skirt. 

touch starved.

---

atsumu's hitting on you.

again, for the fifth time this week, for the seventeenth time in the last fourteen days.

"come on," he smirks, "won't you like someone like me?"

"no," you say, straightforward and blunt as you watch his facade crumble.

"oh come on," he whines, "just give me a chance."

you'd call this less of flirting, and more like a failed confession and you bite back a laugh, "no,"

atsumu's a nice guy, really, he's funny, he's supportive and sweet, but good god does he have ego.

he's full of himself and arrogant, but for once in his life, he isn't so sure of himself anymore.

five months ago, exactly five months ago from today did he start feeling like something changed, it started with tension in the air because he was no more smooth with his words, then butterflies fluttering around in his stomach whenever you came around, then the tightening of his chest whenever his name fell from your lips, then the red that would bloom on his cheeks whenever you had physical contact, and god does he feel so hopeless.

because you are the only one who could make his ego crumble, the only one who could make the butterflies in his stomach flutter and the only only who could bring red to his face.

"okay, scenario," atsumu starts, "i'm the last man on earth, would you date me?"

you ponder it for a moment, "meh."

"are you serious right now?"

that's why he's been needy, desperate even lately, dropping pick up lines and confessions as jokes for any kind of affirmation, a push strong enough for him to actually ask you out, because he really, really needs it.

"okay, another scenario," he says, "an asshole just dumped you, and you need someone else to get over them, would you date me then?"

and you laugh, "tsumu, no,"

he scoffs, offended, "would you throw me a bone here?"

it's a late afternoon on a wednesday and the two of you are hanging out at your place, having a couple drinks by the kitchen counter as the sunlight pours in, the tv is on, volume low and quiet, there is no traffic jam outside and it's quite cozy, before the two of you have to get back to work a couple minutes.

atsumu says, "alright, how about this, i offer you a dance?"

you set your empty glass in the sink, "i think you're a bad dancer."

"what?!" and oh, he sounds so offended.

"yeah, atsumu," you say, snickering, "i saw the highschool prom video."

he practically shrinks down with a surprised, horrified expression.

you laugh, and you throw a towel at him, before grabbing your keys and heading to the door, "alright, come on, lover boy, we have to go now."

atsumu gets up from his seat, and he's shoulders are noticeably slump, and he says, "just, give me a chance,"

by the doorway you turn over to him, "how about instead of all these silly scenarios and cheeky confessions, you actually ask me out after practice today?" you raise your eyebrows, smirking, and you turn away, "now, come on, we're gonna be late."

surprised doesn't even begin to describe how he feels, and it feels as if he regained a little bit of his ego now, enough confidence to actually ask you out.

looks like he got his affirmation.

---

Shelves

tags:; bakugo x reader, established relationship, fluff, reader being type A and so is Bakugo, domestic fluff, minor injury, small arguments, pro hero bakugo x reader, cuddling

a/n: posting this bc i haven’t posted in forever hope you enjoy, reblogs appreciated

You were sitting in your living room reading a book as your boyfriend came back from an early Saturday shift around mid day to your shared house.

While he was gone you had received a package at your doorstep. Heavy furniture packaged in a big cardboard box at your doorstep.

You had planned for your boyfriend to be home to help you move it two bookshelves for the living room.

However it started to rain and you didn’t want the package to get wet, and you were independent grown woman, you could move a box.

So you spent 30 minutes moving a box about the size of a fridge up a flight of stairs, through your doorway to the living room.

While you were moving it you definitely pulled something in your back. Now laying on your couch your lower back in pain.

Katsuki came home to you laying on the couch and a giant box in your living room. You knew he would cuss you out for hurting yourself when you could’ve called him to move it.

“I’m back y/n-“ He stopped looking at the box bigger than yourself standing in your living room, “The delivery guys put it in the living room.” He interrupted himself assuming wrong.

You hummed in response not wanting to say yes or no.

“Okay I’ll put it together tonight.” He said

Leaning down to kiss you. You met him halfway with a small wince and smiled in that kiss.

“I can do it later, I just want to lay down right now.” You said falling back on the couch.

“No I’m doing it.” He said. He hated how independent you are. Wanting you to rely on him but you never fully could always making excuses.

“Fine.” You sighed. Katsuki leaned down to give you a kiss again and reached around to drag your forward.

You gasped in pain as he held onto your lower back.

“What’s wrong.” He said pulling back quickly with a frown looking at your body. Thinking he had hurt you

“Nothing.” Trying to move his hand but Katsuki wasn’t budging. Vermillion eyes narrowing

“You’re lying.” He said and he pinched your back making you whimper.

“Ow. Ow. Ow. Okay.” You said

“What did you do.” Katsuki asked, his hands on your hips holding you.

“I moved the box… myself.” You admitted and his eyes narrowed.

“What the hell were you thinking? You could’ve called me. That box is bigger than you.” He yelled as you threw back your head at his scolding of you knowing it was because he loves you.

“You had patrol. And I can do it, I am fully capable of doing things by myself

“You could have called me. You know I would’ve come back to move the box.” He said with a frustrated look. “Why didn’t you call me, you never call me. I’m your boyfriend I’m supposed to do it. I’m supposed to open jars for you, move heavy objects, and fix things for you. Let me do it. Now you’re hurt.” He said

“It’s fine I’ll be okay just a couple of days and my back will be fine.” You lied to comfort him.

“Don’t lie to me, how bad does it hurt.” He said concerned

“An 8,”

“Jesus-“

“Calm down.”

“No next time you need something call me or I’m gonna lose it. I don’t care if you don’t feel like walking and you call me to carry you up the stairs. You call me.” Katsuki said. “What kind of boyfriend am I to have you throwing out your back to move something.”

“The kind that saves people for a living and loves me when I do stupid things like hurt my back.” You said with doe eyes you knew that made him melt. Bringing him in by the back of his neck for a kiss.

Pressing his forehead to yours and rubbing his face, his favorite action of yours. Never truly getting mad at you when you loved him.

“Did you call a doctor? You could’ve slipped a disc, or-“

You laughed at how anal he could be. “No I did not, I will be fine in a couple days.”

“How do you know that?” He asked

“I swear you are just as stressed as Izuku.” You said kissing him.

He grumbled rubbing your leg, “Don’t compare me to shitty Deku. I worry because I love you and you are a moron.”

“You’re best friends for a reason, and I am a moron that loves you and I’m going to ask for your help right now.”

Katuski ignored your first comment, “Is that so?”

“Yes because I need you to help me walk to the kitchen. I’m hungry and I’ve been stuck on this couch.”

Katsuki picked you up by your armpits and walked you to the kitchen with your legs wrapped around his waist.

“How was patrol?” You asked

“Great. I love fighting with a bank robber when my girlfriend is injuring herself because she won’t pick up the phone to call me.” He said with an attitude all you could do was roll your eyes.

“How long are you going to be mad at me.” You said tugging on his blonde hair. He grunted at your hands handling him.

Katsuki sat you gently on one of the chairs. Standing in between your legs, both arms caging you, and dropping his head.

“I’m not mad at you, im pissed that you won’t call me. Being a pro hero isn’t going to kill me you are.” He grumbled and you laughed.

“What do you want to eat?” He asked pulling away to cook for you.

“Whatever you want to cook.”

You sat in the kitchen as he cooked and you tried to help.

Trying to open a jar and your boyfriend gave you the dirtiest look.

“What did we just talk about.” He said wanting to snatch the jar out of your hand.

You held it out to him.

“Cut me some slack, please. I am used to being independent for as long as I’ve been alive.” You said

“We have been together for almost a year now. And I am here now for you. So relax please. I like taking care of you.” He said grabbing your hand and giving it a kiss. “We bought the house to be together and I can baby you.”

“You are such a sap.”

“The headline yesterday was “Dynamight’s Rage.” He replied his back turned to you cooking one of your favorite meals.

“Yes you’re so scary baby.” You sarcastically said

Both of you knowing that he had a temper and could terrify anyone. But as scary as Katsuki was he was far more scared of you when you got in your moods.

Katsuki finished cooking for you, placed you back on the couch, and made you sit there as he built the bookshelves.

He opened the box with a tool kit and instructions. You sat on the couch eating the food he made. The living room covered in styrofoam packaging and cardboard.

Even after a grueling shift, your boyfriend had cooked you a full dinner and was assembling shelves just for you.

You were type A and liked to be in control and do things yourself. Bakugo was also type A and trying to build it as you tried to control.

“No baby it’s screw A that’s screw H.” You said reading the instructions he threw.

He didn’t listen to anyone but you got half an ear.

“I know what I’m doing I don’t need the instructions.” Bakugo griped.

“I’m serious, please do it right. My books are my babies.” You complained.

“Woman you already injured yourself, can you let me do this.”

“If you did it right then I wouldn’t be complaining.” You shot back.

He let out a huff ignoring you continuing to build.

After the third time of him doing something you didn’t like you got frustrated.

Getting up off the couch, Katsuki heard you move not even turning.

“Get back on that couch before I strap you down.” He said not looking up. His red eyes focused on the wood planks.

You continued to move off the couch with a wince and Katuski turned around from the floor narrowing his eyes.

“Ass back on the couch. Now.”

“You’re not doing it right.” You whined halfway up.

He stood up his big body towering over you. Guiding back to the couch.

“You are a control freak. Sit down before I lock you in the bedroom or in the car to drive you to the hospital.” Katsuki threatened sitting you back down and throwing a heavy blanket on you to hold you down.

He was always so gentle with you even when he was ticked off.

After about an hour he saved the last bookshelf for tomorrow to cuddle you in bed.

“I told you I knew what I was doing.”

You hummed at his cockiness. He had given you some Advil and was gently massaging your back in your bed. You trapped in his big arms, your chests touching. His thick fingers gently pressing against your lower back.

“You like being my superman huh?” You said into his chest.

“Superman? Screw him I’m your Dynamight baby.”

A fan since day one…

---

“who did this to you?”

↳ he finds you injured / “who did this to you?” trope - [diluc, kaeya, wriothesley x gn!reader]

tags: injuries + mentions of blood/reader gets hurt. swearing. threats to kill people lol.

notes: wooo first genshin post.. i need to catch up on this game

diluc ━━━

the way adelinde stood outside of the winery, hands playing nervous with each other and shifting her weight, told diluc that something was wrong. his brows were pinned as he approached her.

“everything alright?” he asked, trying to keep his voice even and calm but there was a hint of worry underneath. something was wrong. something was definitely wrong.

adelinde cleared her throat before speaking, “y/n arrived about half an-”

diluc didn’t need to hear the rest. he moved past her and into the house, calling your name as he moved up the stairs, taking the steps two at a time. he was already rolling up the sleeves of his dress shirt; what exactly was wrong he didn't know, but he was more than willing to get his hands dirty.

he knocked on the door to your shared room only once before clicking the door open. there was a nurse next to the bed, but she wasn’t tending to you at the moment. she looked a little startled as he entered, but he paid her no mind.

he was kneeling at your bedside in a second. the nurse had taken a few steps back to give him space. he held your hand in his, his lips pressed against your knuckles.

“are you okay? what happened?” he asked, a little breathless, his eyes moving over you. there was a bandage wrapped around your abdomen, but he didn’t see any other injuries.

you nod and swallow dryly. “yeah… yeah ‘m alright.”

"bullshit." he mutters under his breath, eyes wandering over the wound. he wants to get a better look at it, but he knows the bandaging is fresh and he doesn't want to disturb it.

"i'll be fine, diluc... honest."

"who did this?" he asks, his voice suddenly a lot lower than before.

"...what?"

it almost startles you, the way small, almost unnoticeable flames flicker along the skin of diluc's forearms. his voice is calm, but strained, when he speaks, "who?"

"it was just some treasure hoarders, i'm-"

"where?"

"they're dealt with, diluc."

he stares at you for another few moments, eyes watching your face as if searching for some sort of sign that you were being dishonest. finally, he shuts his eyes, takes a deep breath, and opens them again. this time, when he speaks, his voice is much softer and caring than before.

"do you need anything?"

"i'm okay. some water, maybe?"

"of course," he hums, moving to press a kiss against your forehead. "just get some rest."

kaeya ━━━

you were supposed to be back an hour ago.

and yet, you weren't back.

he hates that he's pacing, hates that he feels so helpless. he should go find you. he should tell jean he's leaving, that he's not going to work for the rest of the day, that he's going to the outskirts of mondstadt to-

"kaeya!"

his head snaps up, his gaze falling to you. you were limping, why were- oh. there is a gash across your hip, bloody and staining your pants almost black, fading into red at the edges.

he's at your side as quickly as he can be. he's holding your shoulders, a silent plea not to move, not to put weight against the wound.

"shit- what happened? who did this to you?"

you swallow thickly, panting slightly. "just- i ran in to some people-"

"what kind of 'people'?"

"people that got taken care of, kaeya. i promise."

he stares at you for another few moment, a muscle ticking in his jaw. then he nods and moves to your injured side. he grabs your arm to drape it over his shoulders and around his neck, his other arm wrapping around you and pulling you into him.

"we're getting you inside, and safe, and then i'm going to make sure every last one is properly dealt with."

you shake your head at him, but don't say anything. you're grateful for the support on your leg and you weren't about to complain. slowly, he helps you hobble back to the city and slowly deposits you into an infirmary bed.

a nurse ushers kaeya away, and he spends the next twenty minutes pacing outside of the building, his arms crossed. finally, the door opens, and the same nurse sticks their head out of the door, "kaeya? you can come in."

he moves back into the building, maneuvering around people and equipment to kneel at your bedside.

"hey..." he says softly. his hand comes up to your face, back of his hand running affectionately across your cheek. "you feeling alright?"

you give him a small smile. "i'm fine."

"you are," he affirms. "but i still intend on finding the sons of bitches."

you frown at him, though it holds little heat. you study him for another moment before you give him a resigned sigh, "near cape oath."

he presses a kiss against your forehead, already standing up, "i'll be back before dark, my love."

wriothesley ━━━

wriothesley did not consider himself to be a violent person.

today, he was about to be.

it was the way you stumbled into his office, looking so worn out, blood draining down your face and down your chin. your lip was busted and a gash broke the skin near your temple, crimson trickling down your face and dripping onto his floor.

he’d been by your side before you could even utter a word, letting you lean against him and forcing you to sit on the floor. his thumb ran over the blood, as if trying to convince himself that this was real. that this had happened. likely in the fortress, no less.

had it been? no. there was no way. no one would harm someone so blatantly important to the duke… right?

he was pulled from his thoughts by a gentle grumble from you.

“give me a name.” he said, without really thinking about it. his voice was stern, and cold, and left no room for argument.

“what?” you blinked hard, seemingly trying to ground yourself.

“shit.” he cursed under his breath, helping you stand back up. why the hell you had come looking for him before medical attention, he’d never know.

still, he held you against him and helped you to the infirmary, whispering sweet affirmations under his breath the whole way. his string of ‘you are gonna be fine’s and ‘everything is gonna be alright’s dissipates as he slowly lowers you into an infirmary bed.

he straightens, arms crossed over his chest and a scowl twisting his face.

“who did this to you?” wriothesley asked again, this time more firmly.

you shake your head. “is… okay, wrio-”

“give me a goddamn name.” he asks again, and then his voice softens. “please.”

you watch him for another few moments before nodding and letting the person’s name fall from your lips. a muscle in his jaw ticks. he looks down to one of the melusines.

“i’ll be back in an hour. you tell me if they so much as twitch a finger weird.” he orders. he doesn’t wait for a reply, his jaw set as he moves out of the infirmary.

Falls First, Falls Harder ✧ All Dorms

Notes: This took so long to finish, goodness... it's pretty long too, but it's really cute IMO.

Also, I would be remiss if I didn't say this--thank you guys so so so much for 500 followers! My heart is melted from all the positive feedback I've received on my posts! You guys are just so sweet; I adore each and every one of you!

I hope this post counts for a good celebration--I included all our beloved NRC boys, that way I could make sure to show a little love to each of your favorites, y'know? Plus this prompt is super self indulgent and cute, I hope you like it.

Much love to all of you, and enjoy! ♡

(Guys, psst! I made a part two! Here it is! It's the opposite scenarios of the ones I've written here--I couldn't help myself. Enjoy! ♡)

Ace:

Falls First: Ace ✧ Falls Harder: You

Ace really has no choice but to fall first--and he's obvious about it too. Did you really think all that flirting was just his personality? Sure, he can be a little flirtatious now and then, but he lays it on real thick for you.

Besides--with the way he insults Deuce and Grim, you have to know that you've gotten special treatment from the start. Heck, the whole reason he started taunting you on the first day of school was because he thought you were cute!

You've just made him fall more and more every day since. Your courage, your determination, your logic in times of fear--in his eyes, you were a warrior. He'd follow you anywhere.

It's only a little while later that you fall harder.

You start to notice this feeling during Riddle's overblot--the way Ace jumps in front of you to protect you, and the way his first instinct after the battle is to make sure you got out safe. The moment was so intense that it wouldn't surprise you if you were entirely forgotten about, but Ace never left your side, even when the battle got rough.

Then you notice how he's the first to defend you in any situation--not just physical fights, but verbal spats as well. If anyone gives you lip you're certain Ace is gonna mouth off right back, and he's practically an expert at making even the most confident people feel ashamed of themselves.

Aside from all of that, he's always there for you, emotionally and otherwise. He notices when you're upset or stressed or furious and he knows just what to do to help you feel better. He doesn't give up on you until he knows you're okay, and you've come to find he's the most reliable person you have.

It was when he told you he'd make sure to find you a way home that you finally gave in--you fell the hardest. Even though he didn't hide the fact that he wanted you to stay--that he wanted to keep you in Twisted Wonderland for as long as possible--he knew you had a life in your other world that you missed. Before his desire to keep you came your happiness, and so even if that meant losing you, you still had his services.

...of course, the situation would never come to that. If you managed to get to Twisted Wonderland once you'd be able to do it again, and there's no way you could completely forget about this world now. Sure, your old home has a place in your heart, but so do your friends here at NRC, and most importantly, so does Ace.

You two have each other's backs, and as far as you're both concerned, that relentless love was there to stay.

Deuce:

Falls First: Deuce ✧ Falls Harder: You

Oh, you know Deuce went through the whole 'I've fallen in love with my best friend!' arc in the most panicked way possible.

He realizes his feelings fast. Remember that chicken conversation? Where you told him even honors kids defended themselves? Where you supported him, even after learning his dark little secret? He's pretty sure that's when he fell... and it's his next conversation with his mom that causes it to dawn on him.

He was only trying to tell her about you--describing the way you've supported him, what you meant to him, and how smart and kind and bold and beautiful you were...

He spends every moment after trying to keep his feelings under wraps, but he just can't.

He looks out for you--he's tries to avoid picking fights, but he can't help it when it's you who's getting picked on.

He confides in you--it's just too easy for him to place his heart in your hands, and no matter what he tells you he knows you'll guard it with your heart.

You were just... perfect.

But oh, when you realize your feelings for Deuce?

His presence becomes a constant in your life before you know it--walking you safely back to Ramshackle every evening, studying for tests together, sharing food in the cafeteria--whether it's a month or a week or even a day, long times without seeing him just become too long.

He's so determined and so full of love. He's fiercely loyal to his friends, he has such a pure love for his mom, and he's always standing up for those in trouble. It doesn't matter if he knows them or not--if someone's getting picked on, he rushes in to save them.

And goodness, his smile? It's a constant in your life. Seeing the way he lights up when you enter the room melts your heart every time.

Of course, the list of reasons to fall in love with him is endless--what matters is that you realize it. It hits you when he left for Winter break, and it strikes again when he comes back, early, having left his time with his family to come check up on your safety. Even then, he never complained--he showed no regret in coming back, even when he knew you were safe.

The love you two share is something reliable, trustworthy and enduring--there's no doubt by you or anyone else that it will forever stand the test of time.

Riddle:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Riddle

It wasn't out of love that Riddle fussed over you, but that was probably the first thing that caused your heart to skip a beat.

Well, that was part of the reason anyways. The part of him that really caught your attention was his growth; after his overblot, he was truly a changed person. He was more understanding, more patient, more playful, and best of all--more open with his feelings.

He learned to open up and experience a world outside of the abusive shell he was raised in. He found joy in friendships with his dorm mates that once held nothing but fear and contempt for him. He learned to take criticism without entirely brushing it aside and claiming he was in the right, but he didn't lose his old self entirely either. He kept the charm.

He kept his diligence. He remained as hardworking as ever, and his academic prowess proved it. He was still a great leader, running a tight ship and bringing the best out of his dorm. He was just... incredible.

You found yourself treasuring every moment with him in your heart, and all those sweet memories shared between the two of you built up into what you could confidently say was love. A part of you knew you'd fallen too quickly for him though, and so while you enjoyed every interaction with him you held your feelings close to your heart and kept them there.

That is... until Riddle had fallen as well.

The first signs were through his actions. He had a tendency to fuss over you before, but now it was like you had your own personal spotlight--and not necessarily in a nagging way. Sure, he'd smooth out the tie of your uniform now and again, but what really caught everyone's attention was the way he'd fume if you visited Heartslabyul without being served tea, or the way he'd insist on walking you to dorms and classes incase someone tried to mess with you. He was just... doting, and protective, and all those other sweet things that caught his dormmates by surprise.

The next signs came after he realized his feelings--it just dawned on him one day, with the help of Trey and Cater spelling it out for him. After that, he could hardly look you in the eye and his face was always--always--red.

Still, the doting habits never left, so while he would blush and stutter he still always walked you to class, looked out for you and made you feel as welcome as possible whenever you'd drop by.

Once you two got together, it only got sweeter from there. Riddle and you have a supportive kind of love--you bring out the best in each other and encourage each other. You share dreams and aspirations and believe in each other's worth, and are always there to remind the other if they ever forget.

More concrete than any rule or law is the foundation of love the two of you share together--with Riddle, it was perfect.

Cater:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Cater

When you first met Cater, you got butterflies.

He was just so... charming. Charismatic. Brilliant. Even in a world you barely knew with disaster around every corner, you could have a single conversation with him and feel safe.

Of course, most of it's a ruse. Cater is not as chill as he seems--he hides his opinions and keeps his cards close to his chest, though with the way he acts you'd never know unless you bother to observe him.

Still... even if it's an act, you find it admirable. He's kind and funny and sensitive to the feelings of those around him, and so in your opinion it doesn't matter how 'fake' he probably thought it all is; he's a good guy, a guy with a good heart and great skill and an insane amount of charm. He would invite you to hang out with him, pull you closer for spontaneous selfies and always hype you up when you were at your lowest.

You wanted to get to know him more, so you did. You showed him the hidden parts of yourself in hopes that he would do the same, but even if he didn't, you still saw through the mask once in a while.

You loved every new thing you learned about him and, well, you loved him in general. He was your person, you were certain of it.

Initially Cater wasn't uneasy about your vulnerability, but he did feel guilty over it.

It was natural for people to open up to him--it was a side effect of his personality, he supposes. Being so extroverted and cheerful all the time caused him to accidentally lead people on, and make them think he was more fond of them than he genuinely felt.

Of course, he wished he could be that guy! He tries, but he just can't bring himself to feel the same way. He had people around every corner claiming him as their true love, their best friend, their partner in crime--and yet amongst dozens of supposed 'best friends', there wasn't a single one who seemed to care about the real him.

Well... except you.

You stuck around longer. You asked questions no one else bothered to. You complimented the parts of his personality that even he forgot about, the parts that weren't all about his charisma and enthusiasm--and despite how much he tried to keep up his usual self around you, he felt it start to crumble.

You were a really sweet person--that was his first thought, and at first he wished it would remain that way. You were just sweet--that was all there was too it. But then you became a friend. You became a person who could read when he wasn't feeling like his usual self. You became someone who could catch onto even the littlest hints he dropped, like the way Trey found out he doesn't like sweets. You became that person who--when he was uncomfortable, when he felt awful for leading people on, when he didn't have the energy to be so jovial--you would always slyly make excuses for him and help him escape those awful things.

Then you became his person.

You fell first, but Cater fell harder. Whoever said you can't love someone until you love yourself is wrong, because Cater was head-over-heels for you even before you helped him learn to love himself.

His behavior isn't so different--he still takes photos with you, drags you everywhere, and hypes you up any minute of the day. This time though, it's not an act--it's pure, smitten love.

Trey:

Falls First: Trey ✧ Falls Harder: You

At first, Trey admires your friendship.

He sees it every day: the way you care for Ace and Deuce, the way you care for Grim, the way you always seem to go the extra mile for them even when it seems unnecessary. He finds your crew to be incredibly lucky, because it doesn't take a genius to tell that you're full of love and loyalty for those lucky few you consider friends.

At first, Trey wants that friendship for himself.

He starts by inviting you to bake with him. He invites you to Unbirthday parties as well. He'll walk you through Heartslabyul traditions and rules, which not only pose as a way to bond with you but also get you in good graces with Riddle--which ultimately leads to you being invited to the Heartslabyul dorm even more.

You befriend him quickly, and Trey loves that you consider him a close friend... but there's still something missing, because when he's with you he still wants more. It takes him a while to identify it, but when he does, it all makes sense.

He fancies you.

No, that's not right--it's grown beyond a crush at this point. He's in love.

You don't fall for Trey because of the way he suddenly dotes on you more and more; it's more like you fell for him because he revealed himself more and more to you.

At first, it's easy to dismiss Trey as a cliche older brother type--too mellow and too well-behaved to catch your eye, which regrettably was your impression for quite a bit there.

After all, compared to the other chaotic students in Heartslabyul, Trey seemed to be the only one who wasn't entirely off his rocker. It made him stick out, but not in an interesting or exciting way.

Then you realized that, no, Trey wasn't just mellow and passive, nor was his head as attached to his body as it seems; he was playful and chaotic in his own way, but he was so smart about it that he could get away with almost anything.

...and when he was fond of you? He'd pretty much help you get away with anything too.

You caused quite a lot of chaos together under Riddle's nose. Trey would use his unique magic to pull subtle pranks, kidnap you from your dorm to bake the sweetest snacks, and teach you how to break rules without getting collared.

He'd make sarcastic or cynical jokes under his breath just for you to hear, propose rebellious ideas to you out of earshot, and teach you how to get revenge on those who mess with you in the sneakiest, funniest way. And, on top of that, he still has his responsible charm--he does well in school, is beloved by teachers and students alike and can solve any problem he's presented with. It's fascinating.

You'd never have predicted it, but you fell for Trey hard. Love with him is safe and trusting, but at the same time, it never loses its spark.

Leona:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Leona

You have no idea why you fell for him. He's arrogant and lazy and crass and... and...

And amazing, at literally everything he puts his mind to.

Your love starts out as admiration. You love his brain, his talent, his magical abilities, his athleticism, his wit, his charm, his audacity. He's confident in himself and he has every skill necessary to back it up. If he actually gave ambition a go, the world wouldn't stand a chance against him.

Eventually, you start to see the reality. He's lazy, insensitive and plays the role of the bitter prince. He acts like he doesn't care and then gets picky over the dumbest things. Your admiration turns into understanding, but the love hadn't developed yet.

You truly fell when he let you in.

Maybe it was the whole overblot thing, or maybe he started to respect you after that whole schtick with Azul, but Leona no longer acted like your presence was a bother--rather than kicking you out of his room, he'd greet you lazily and roll over on his bed, implicitly inviting you to join him for a nap. Whenever he did show up for lunch, he always sat next to you, not saying a word about it and only opening up when you initiated conversation. When he caught you in Savanaclaw--it happens quite a lot nowadays--he'd growl at those other students who harass you and welcome you to 'hang out wherever you want, as long as you don't cause a fuss'.

Romantic, right? Your heart seemed to think so. Leona's actions always spoke louder than his words.

Eventually, you were willing to admit you fell for him. While you didn't flirt outright--you weren't quite ready for him to tease you over your feelings--you started to show you cared for him in more platonic ways.

That was the catalyst to Leona falling for you.

What really won him over was the fact that you saw him. You recognized him as someone worthy of praise, and you saw value in all the qualities that people back at home would criticize.

You cherished his magic, telling him that not only was it powerful but that it had saved you at one point, during that whole thing with Azul. It was a wonderful unique magic, and he should treasure it.

You praised his intellect, his athleticism, his magic, his talents--you even told him you were impressed with how quickly he could fall asleep. His skills often went unrecognized, but you saw them all.

And... let's face it, you were amazing in general. He would have been impressed if you handled all those overblots with magic, but you've made it out of every one of those disasters magicless and still kickin’. Even though you were magicless in a school full of mages, you walked around with your head held high, like you could conquer them all; honestly, you probably could.

Sans Leona of course. He wouldn't be outdone by such a magicless little herbivore.

...but he did genuinely admire and respect you. That only made him love you more--you were his equal, his motivation, someone who gave him reason to try and someone who worked hard right along with him.

You were inspiring, and motivating, and... gosh, he loved you.

He doesn't verbalize it well, but he shows it--the love you two share is the kind of love that you can feel down to your bones, a love no lack of self esteem or anxiety could ever make you question. You could trust in Leona's love like you trusted the sun to shine in the sky each day; it was constant, powerful and simply wonderful.

Ruggie:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Ruggie

You have to fall for Ruggie first. It's the law.

See, Ruggie lets you know who he is right away. He treats himself like a walking resume, and thus every action, every word, every moment is used to show off who he is, what he can do, and how good he is at doing it.

His talents and work ethic aside, he's open about his personality and past too. He talks about the more vulnerable aspects of his life like he's talking about the latest episode of a TV show, and he's even honest about his more sneaky and underhanded nature--what are ya gonna do about it, stop him? He's too capable to be worried about that.

But you know, Ruggie tells you lots of things. He tells you about how he looks after the neighborhood kids back at home, about the struggles he's had to overcome growing up, about how and why he learned all the skills he did--sometimes they're funny stories, and sometimes they're so sad they make you wonder how someone like him can grin so brightly all the time.

You fall for him fast--even when he's pretty verbal about not being interested in anything besides spelldrive, food, and making money. You can't really help it.

...and when he starts to consider you a friend, telling you that you need to be a little more selfish and underhanded for your own sake, you fall more. Being one of those people Ruggie will put his selfishness aside for is a big deal, and it means a lot to you that he'd care for you in such a way.

Ruggie is slower to fall in love, but when it hits him, it hits like a brick.

At first, he thought you were naive--maybe a good person to steal food from, but no one worth bonding with. He'd let you follow him around since you seemed pretty fascinated by him, but he wasn't going to engage too much. You were a little freshman in a world you didn't know--you probably thought he'd help you out or something, but he wasn't going to be doing any favors for free.

You... never really asked him to help you out, though. Sure, you'd talk about your problems to him, but you were mostly making conversation. Your life at NRC was pretty exciting--well, if you consider constant fights, life-or-death situations and drama with nearly every big personality in the school 'exciting'. He didn't know how you could handle it all.

He respected you with the way you took all those challenges head-on. With you being around him so often, he saw the skills you brought with you from your own world and thought they were fantastic--what was even more interesting was how you used your own skillset to take on these situations. You weren't the most underhanded person (at least, compared to him) but you were competent.

He probably fell for you, though, because you weren't just around him for favors or entertainment. In fact, he's received more favors from you than he’s ever considered returning; you wouldn't accept any help he offered (whether it came with a price or not), but you were bossy and insistent when it came to being kind to him.

Take this moment for example--you had come to hang out in the stands during his spelldrive practice, and Ruggie stopped to say hi. You had snacks and Ruggie was hungry, so when he jokingly offered to 'owe you one' in exchange for something to eat you just... handed the food to him?? Like, with nothing in return? You just went, "You’re hungry, so take it. Why wouldn't I just give it to you?"

You were a strange one. A strange, wonderful one that Ruggie found himself treasuring more and more.

Eventually, it wasn't you following him around anymore--it was him that was dragging you into shenanigans, even popping by to spoil you himself. He's been pretty decided about his future since he was little--just himself with some grand job, but now he just couldn't picture it without you, however that would turn out.

Your love, contrary to his nature, is selfless. You look out for each other, spoil each other and don't seem complete without the other nearby; it was a love you didn't expect to find, but one that was always meant to be.

Jack:

Falls First: Jack ✧ Falls Harder: You

Just ask Ace and Deuce--watching a tsundere pine is like watching a house cat try to open a locked door. It's endearing to a degree, but also very hard to watch.

Jack has been pining for a while. No one can really tell for sure when it started--early on during the anemone fiasco perhaps, or maybe even earlier during the Spelldrive incidents.

After all, you didn't go about trying to cheat on your exams--even though you probably had more of an excuse than anyone, not being an actual mage and all. You didn't try to hide or fake any aspects about you--you were just genuine and kind and loyal and oh great seven he was in love.

You suppose you fell for Jack for a similar reason; he was principled and hardworking, talented and genuine, considerate and gosh--just the cutest guy ever, right??

I mean, he doesn't really consider himself the 'cute' type, but he's totally cute. Totally.

You did a lot of bonding during the whole Azul thing--by then Jack knew he was in love with you. You were a little slower, but let's be real--you didn't take too long to fall either. Going through a life-or-death situation like that got you two pretty familiar with each other pretty quickly.

Jack was just a big softie--and he was softest for you, just ask anyone. He’s protective and concerned for you, and no one can threaten you at this point without him glaring daggers over your shoulder. 'Scary dog privilege' isn’t just a joke with him--as soft as he is for you, he’s not above ripping someone's throat out.

For all his track meets, any game of spelldrive he'd play, pretty much any activity he partook in, you were in the stands cheering him on. You'd run up to him immediately afterwards and tell him how well he did, and his tail would wag every time.

You were painfully obvious about how much you loved each other, even before you were together. Ace and Deuce complained constantly because you were the type of people to make goo-goo eyes at lunch, totally unaware of how sappy you looked. Once you did get together, it wasn't just goo-goo eyes--you always ate lunch with Jack, he always tried to walk you to class, and Jack had an unofficial room in the Ramshackle dorm, which he frequented almost as much as you frequented Savanaclaw.

Jack lent you his shirts and hoodies, studied with you for every exam, and texted you goodnight before he went to bed each night; those texts were always sent almost exactly at 9:59pm, just before he goes to bed. He’s so rigid with his schedule—it’s endearing.

It’s the love you’ve always dreamed of having--the kind of love that makes single people cringe, but you know what, who cares? Wolves tend to mate for life, and it was obvious Jack had chosen you.

Azul:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Azul

It was a close call as to who fell first--just like with the contract thing though, you bested Azul by a narrow margin.

He was just so charming.

Sure, he had this suave businessman thing going on--and to be frank, you loved that part of him. You admired his charisma, his hard work, his sharp mind, his schemes. Your favorite part probably had to be his awkwardness though--that was the most charming thing about him.

It was a rare treat to see Azul truly awkward--he almost always had the self-control to present himself composed and competent, but on the rarest occasions he'd slip up and be a frazzled mess until he could flee to his office. Luckily, Jade and Floyd were more than happy to help you reduce Azul to such a state, and every time it happened it made your heart grow fonder.

After his overblot, you knew for certain you had fallen for him. Prior to, he'd been a huge source of anxiety; now that it was over, the way he turned his business around was just so... amazing. He still made deals and used his magic to his advantage, but he was more upfront about it, and the manipulation no longer became a concern.

Learning about why he did what he did made your heart bleed too. You cared for him deeply, and of course, you weren't shy about expressing it--after all, it let you see his cute flustered face even more.

Azul wasn't used to feeling so treasured by someone before.

Even Floyd and Jade were wild cards--they were loyal and good friends (despite acting like they'd ever drop him if they got bored), but you... you were certain about caring about him. You made it no secret that you thought he was smart and talented and charming and valuable and so many other wonderful compliments. At first, it almost felt like you were trying to get some sort of revenge on him, making him addicted to your presence or something.

The worst part? It was working.

Eventually, he gave in to what he wanted and started inviting you around more. He made Jade and Floyd notify him when you came to the Mostro Lounge, and when you did he always emerged from his office to serve you personally. He gave you free drinks and meals (which was not the Octavinelle way, but... don't think about it too much), let you hide out in his office with him, and offered his services whenever you struggled with school.

Jade and Floyd loved how hard Azul fell for you--there wasn't anything more entertaining in the world, because while you were always upfront about how you felt, Azul would dare try to play the denial game. Yes he was fond of you, but the L-word? Already? What... What are you talking about? Of course he wasn't... well....

And yet, his feelings always bled through anyways. He was clingy, but not in an unwelcome way--he just loved having you around and always let you know his door was open. He'd spoil you constantly, like he was trying to both show off his resources and express his lov--his fondness for you.

Eventually the awkward octo learns how to actually say the 'L-word' and when he does--boy, do you hear it often. Yes you fell first and you fell hard, but this once--just this once--Azul has you beat.

You're his heart's favorite. That's all there is to it. You're precious and lovely and great seven does he want a future with you...

...and despite you saying you weren't gonna make a deal with him again, that was one you could agree to.

Jade:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Jade

Jade is... interesting.

You're not the type to fall in love over a little intrigue of course, but it does help. From the moment you met him Jade caught your eye, and he obviously knew he did--for his own amusement, he let you follow him around. He even invited you to, in some cases.

Of course, there was the whole... Azul thing. That was a small rift in your developing affections, but even then, you got to know Jade better. You loved seeing him in the Coral Sea, seeing where he grew up, understanding the life he knew up until going to NRC. That picture Azul had you going after was really adorable too--the little Octo-trio kids were as cute as buttons, but Jade's smiling face had been your favorite amongst them.

Once Jade was no longer obligated to harass you as part of your contract with Azul, he was happy to have you around without implied hostility. When you visited the Mostro Lounge, he'd spend extra minutes at your table, talking with you and making coy remarks. When he went on excursions for his club, he'd invite you along and--hey, how could you refuse him when he was just so charming?

Jade wasn't someone you had to understand to love. He would always have an air of mystery around him--in your opinion, he was even less predictable than Floyd. After all, he posed the perfect gentleman, ever-loyal and ever-helpful, but at the same time he made mischief his right hand man. Every new thing you learned about him made you curiouser, made your heart pound more and--after just a short while--made you fall more in love.

As for Jade... he fell in love slowly. Agonizingly slow. Then again, once he fell, it was less than graceful--it was trademarked Leech chaos, to put it simply.

At first, he thought you were boring. Then, he thought you were interesting and charming, but in a quaint way. He was amused by you, but could've done with or without you for a while.

Then you became friends with him and his twin--that surprised him, because he was certain they'd have scared you away by now.

You weren't like the others. You didn't run from him--you had to be dragged away by your friends, and yet you kept coming back. You'd grown used to his mischief, and you knew how to handle the chaos he and Floyd caused without getting hurt. In fact, you were happy to indulge in chaos with them, much to Azul's chagrin.

Friendship turned into platonic devotion--an agonizing step, because he knew well enough at this point that you were in love with him. At this point, though, he didn't want to lose you, so he handled your feelings delicately and let you remain by his side. He was loyal, and doting, and would go through every effort to make you smile, which wasn't helping you suppress your feelings, not at all.

After all that, though, Jade fell--he realized when he heard you talking about your home world. He wasn't a part of the conversation, but you were talking in the Mostro Lounge and he always kept tabs on you while you were there--he was fond of you after all.

You were talking with Jack, a friend of yours that you'd bonded with because of the distress Jade and Floyd caused. You had been explaining to Jack that things were still so different here--so fascinating and new, and Jade listened as you gush and gush with curiosity and wonder about this new world around you.

That's right--you and Jade weren't so different after all. He'd never really thought about it before, but he had a similar experience coming from the Coral Sea. While he was getting used to the concepts of walking and flying you were getting used to the concepts of magic, which probably blew your mind just as much as having legs blew his.

And for you to be so curious? Well, he related to that part especially well.

His mind was suddenly filled with daydreams of exploring the world with you, and from that moment on his future didn't seem right without you in it. He wanted to keep you at his side, to learn more about you and the world around you and every other world you could travel to... and knowing you loved him in return, there was nothing that was going to stop him from trying to achieve that reality.

Your love was the kind of love that was constant no matter what was around you. In the sea, on land, in the sky, in worlds with magic and worlds without, you were hopelessly in love with each other, and with every challenge that came the two of you would always face it together.

Floyd:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Floyd

Look, you're not an idiot by any means, but... your heart had a little idiotic moment there, falling for Floyd. At least, that's what your brain told you; for the first time ever, your heart and brain were having a feud that they just wouldn't let go.

Loving Floyd wasn't logical--he was dangerous and chaotic, and he took great delight in messing with you. He was much more than that, though, and that's what gave you the courage to not run away and give bonding a shot... and great seven, was that a great decision.

Floyd decided you were friend material almost instantly. On top of his adorable nicknames, he was the type of guy to scream hi to you across the hall despite the dirty looks, the type of guy to invite you to join him for all his impulsive schemes, the type of guy who expressed affection in so many ways it made your head spin: hugs, silly little gifts, affectionate nicknames and greetings, adventuring together...

This guy who was once a source of anxiety for you became your place of peace. Even if his mood swings were sudden and not always easy to deal with, you made the effort to understand and accept him, mood swings and all; it got easier and easier as time went on. Floyd... he was so precious to you, he practically had your heart in his hands.

Floyd didn't like you as more than friends for a while though.

In fact, it took him a while to even realize you were a friend for life--his attention was hard to keep, but after you stuck around long enough he realized he just wasn't going to get bored of you. He could hear you repeat the same stories over and over again and he'd happily listen each time, so it was pretty decided at that point that he wanted you for the long run.

The love came a little bit later, but when it did he fell hard. Even Jade could tell you the moment Floyd knew he was in love, and that's because that precious moment had been in the Mostro Lounge.

"You're so thoughtful."

Imagine that--Floyd Leech and thoughtful, a pairing no one else in school would have even considered. Even Floyd thought it was ridiculous; he almost thought you were messing with him.

Floyd was impulsive... and chaotic, childish, the list goes on. He doesn't give boring people the time of day, lacks all the tact his twin has and wasn't always the most sensitive fish in the sea... so how on earth did you think he was thoughtful?

"You always look out for the people you care about," you continued. "Like the way you you'll bully me into eating enough and getting enough sleep, or the way you bring me little gifts when you think of me."

You lifted your wrist as you said it, showing off a clunky bracelet he'd made you during class out of boredom. It was really nothing more than knotted string with a few makeshift beads, but you had accepted the gift with stars in your eyes anyways.

"It's not just me of course. You do it with Jade and Azul too. Others too, like Riddle and Ace and Jamil... and you know everyone that you care about so well, it's sweet that you make such an effort to understand them the way you do. I just think... I don't know. I just wanted to say that, I guess."

His heart was beating so much he thought he was sick. You thought he was thoughtful? Maybe he was, but... no one really thought of him like that before. You made such an effort to understand him that you could say something like that?

...oh, he's in love.

The love you two share is something no one else seems to understand--they don't get how you could fall for him or how he could fall for you, but neither of you care what others think. Your love is certain and long-lasting, and great seven is it interesting, because with Floyd by your side there's no such thing as a dull moment.

Kalim:

Falls First: Kalim ✧ Falls Harder: You

Duh.

No matter what your opinion on 'love at first sight' is, Kalim is your classic fairy tale exception--you don't need a second interaction for him to know. He's bright and bubbly to even the most prickly of strangers, but he knows a real connection when he sees it. You and him... he could picture so many adventures with you already, and he's already planning several.

He’s just sweet enough that you'll go along with all those plans. Well, most of them. He is a little grand and gratuitous sometimes.

Still—every time you agree, Kalim lights up. He loves seeing you in all sorts of situations—he falls in love with the way you dance, the way you eat, the way you tell stories and the way you listen to them… he’s smitten so quick, and it just grows and grows with each new 'adventure' together.

You fall a little bit later, but you fall hard.

At first, Kalim just seems like a airheaded rich boy--the type oblivious to the feelings of those around him, but that was far from the truth.

You noticed it during one of the many parties he invited you to.

That day, you were feeling homesick--and not just a little ache in your heart, but full-blown devastation at the notion that you may never see your home again. You tried to hide it at the party, and in all honesty, you did it pretty well; No one had been onto you, not even your best friends noticed how you were a little more glum that day.

Kalim did.

He invited you to dance with him, and all it took was your slight hesitation to agree that let him know something was wrong. He pulled you away from the crowd, offered his listening ear, and spent the rest of the evening just the two of you. He let you cry into his shoulder, groan about your plight and get mad at Crowley's negligence, and he stayed through it all, helping you feel better to the best of his ability.

He spoils you rotten--with gifts, with attention, with compliments, with affection, you name it. He's an ever-flowing fountain of love, and the fact that he's given his heart to you makes you feel like the luckiest person alive.

He's someone you can love on as much as you want and never be made to feel unwanted, annoying or ridiculous. Loving him is the type of love where you can use the cheesiest pet names, hold hands wherever you go, write each other the most ooey-gooey love letters and just... be cheesy. It's sweet and silly and romantic, a precious and pure type of love that's as rare as it is beautiful.

Love with Kalim is cliche and deep. The 'I've found my other half' kind of cliche, the type that makes you believe in tales like the red string of fate and soulmates and all those other stories. He's your fairy tale, and to him, you're his happy ending.

Jamil:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Jamil

Jamil makes it a point to conceal several aspects of himself, and so getting to know him on a genuine level is a hard task for anyone.

Although the Scarabia incident was stressful, it did give you an opportunity to see the side of Jamil that he kept so hidden--the good and the bad, the impressive and the disappointing, the best and the worst. You had the opportunity to see Jamil realize he could show off his skill, he should speak up about how he felt and he should let himself be selfish. He traded in his polite smile for a snarky smirk, and even if his words became sharper and his hatred became visible he was still just... lovely.

What it took others a while to see, you saw right away. Jamil wasn't just some bitter servant--he was a beacon of talent, a disciplined worker, a thoughtful soul. He was wise and powerful and tactful and considerate and passionate and witty and clever and so many wonderful, beautiful things, each one a reason for you to fall for him harder and harder.

As hard as you fell for him, though, it was nothing compared to how hard he fell for you.

You were different--not by being some sort of golden-heart or eternal optimist, nor were you a renowned academic or athlete, but you caught his attention through the casual means through which you showed your support.

You offered your help with some of his responsibilities. You gave him casual compliments on his many talents--talents he had, at one point, done his best to hide. You didn't just give him space when he needed it, you created space for him as well--you offered up Ramshackle to him if he ever needed a place to get away, you would entertain Kalim for awhile so Jamil could rest easy, and you'd always find ways of directing the conversation so he could escape. He wasn't an idiot--you never did any of this outright, it was just subtle acts of kindness that filled his stomach with butterflies every time.

Jamil never lost his composure, never--at least, that's how it was before he fell for you. Something changed with his feelings for you, and suddenly he felt shaky and flustered and nervous whenever you came around. At the same time though, he was addicted to your presence; it was no longer Kalim who invited you to parties or welcomed you into their dorm, but Jamil.

Jamil, who brought you leftovers from meals and parties, just for an excuse to see you. Jamil, who would keep his eye out for clear skies and starry nights so he could invite you for sight-seeing. Jamil, who would shyly tell you when he had a basketball game coming up, because he knew he would see you in the stands every single time.

You were his weakness in the very best way. Love with him was soft and sweet--as sharp as he could be with others, you were his exception. Even in moments where he nagged you or teased you, there was a certain softness to his words that he reserved just for you.

You made him feel valuable--like he was the only person in the world, first place, a wonder, a treasure, a winner. He, of course, made you feel the very same; there was something precious about what the two of you had, a love you could trust would last forever.

Vil:

Falls First: Vil ✧ Falls Harder: You

A critical eye is still an admiring eye, just an eye that is more selective with where it finds beauty.

Vil was very critical, but that didn't mean he wasn't paying attention. He searched for beauty, polished or not, and he was not so haughty that he wouldn't recognize it when it was right in front of him. In fact, when he saw the potential for beauty, he seized it.

You were one of those beautiful things that caught his eye--not just physically, but everything about you: your determination, your hard work, your humor and wit and charm...

It frustrated him to know end that you didn't apply that hard work in the same way he did. You'd pour all your effort into your responsibilities and hobbies, and your appearance took a back seat to the things that you deemed more important. You became his personal mission--he'd lure you in with his own charm and wit, spoil you with products and clothes, and try to get you to follow in his footsteps, but another beautiful thing about you was that you weren't so easily influenced.

You did your own thing and didn't conform no matter what kind of pressure was on your shoulders.

It drove him crazy, but at the same time, he was falling for you more and more.

At first, Vil was annoying to you. You found him conceited and clownish, thinking he took his obsession with beauty way too far. It irritated you when he tried to pull you into his regimen, but you admittedly did understand his charm, and so you gave him a chance.

Vil had to work to soften you up. To the rest of Pomefiore, it was almost unbelievable that he'd become the chaser rather than the one being chased--but he did it, and you started to fall for him.

You saw him not for his makeup and poise, but for his heart. He was a hard worker--disciplined and detailed--and he had such immense amounts of talent. He was good with people, good with kids, good with sciences and arts and the list goes on...

He was also very funny. It wasn't something just anyone got to be privy to, but since he let you close to him, you got to hear it: those comments he'd utter under his breath, some of them about his rival Neige, others about the other dorm leaders, others about teachers and students and anyone else who crossed his path.

You two learned how to bond, and that's when you started to fall.

Vil would woo you with his humor--he'd sacrifice his perfect schedule to hang out with you in childish ways, ways that were whimsical and fun and quite different from the disciplined upbringing he had. You saw him let his guard down and enjoy things from your perspective, and in the same manner you'd lower your walls and try things out his way.

You guys were the definition of 'opposites attract'. You didn't have to share goals and interests for you to be in love--if anything, your differences made you better together. Once together, you guys became the epitome of a 'power couple', in school and elsewhere.

Your love was confident, and inspirational, and openly adoring. Vil Schoenheit didn't give praise where it wasn't due, but he had no shame in telling the world about his amazing partner... and of course, as the partner of Vil Schoenheit, how could you not brag yourself? You two were so proud of each other, so encouraging and supportive, that you'd never feel unloved for the rest of your life.

Rook:

Falls First: Rook ✧ Falls Harder: You

There's no question--Rook was quick to be smitten with you.

Imagine Rook the way he treats literally everyone, and then multiply that by thousands. He was everywhere--inviting you to spend time with him, complimenting everything from your test scores to your outfits to the shape of your nose, gifting you wildflowers and love letters and just about any sort of trinket you could think of.

He comes on strong--his restraint comes from not wanting to scare you away, but he's not the type to remain quiet when he likes something.

You know he's fallen for you long before you started to fall, because he keeps it no secret. When you don't return his feelings, he's respectful, but he doesn't change his tune or go back on his feelings--he loves you. That's how things were.

He comes on so strong you're a little wary of him at first. It takes some serious bonding--you start by adventuring with him in a crowd, often hanging out with him whilst Vil and perhaps even Epel were around. Then, you go on small excursions together--trips to the Mostro Lounge, watching the games and competitions your friends partook in, things like that.

Rook was sweet--he didn't care just for you, but for those people and things that were important to you as well. He tried to bond with Grim (who wasn't keen on bonding with a hunter), made efforts to get to know your friends and was willing to try out all your hobbies and traditions.

You severely misjudged him. He wasn't some flamboyant creep--he was a lover of beauty, and someone who wasn't scared into hiding his thoughts or feelings on the matter.

You spent even more time with him, falling for his humor, his wit, his beautiful words and the way he saw the world. All the while he treated you as someone precious to him, happy to spend time with you no matter how idle or strange the activities seemed. He was... peaceful, in a way.

He did have his moments, though--you suppose it was these less peaceful moments that really made you fall.

See, as a magicless student in a school of mages, you automatically get a target on your head for harassment. Your personality, quirks and involvement with drama wasn't helping the situation. Rook never struck you as the protective type (heck, you might've assumed he'd find some sort of 'beauty' in the situation), but he proved you wrong yet again.

He was fiercely loyal to you, and that included protecting you when he had the ability. Sure, you could handle yourself--even he acknowledged it, but he got a silly little joy out of playing knight for you once in a while. Besides, it gave him an excuse to show off in front of you, so why wouldn't he protect you?

He made you feel so, so loved, and you ended up loving him just as much. Your love was timeless and youthful, adventurous and freeing. As far as you were concerned, there was no one in both wide worlds that was a better match for you than Rook Hunt.

Epel:

Falls First: Epel ✧ Falls Harder: You

At first, Epel loves you as a friend--that's where all the best relationships start out.

You share food at lunch, gossip about dorm leaders and other drama-causers, slander your teachers and get into all sorts of shenanigans together. You'd pass notes in any classes you shared together, tease each other to bits and pieces, and basically live every moment with each other to its fullest.

You were already so close that Epel couldn't tell you when he fell in love with you, but once he recognized it, there was no denying it.

He was the type to be determined to win you over. He'd invite you to his spelldrive games just to show off, offer to carry your things to your classes, disrespectfully tell anyone who messed with you to back off, and basically tried to fulfill this image of 'prince charming' he concocted in his head.

You didn't want prince charming, though. You wanted someone else--someone you learned to be Epel all along.

You also had a hard time recognizing when exactly you fell for him--he was just such an important person to you already, to the point where everyone else around you just assumed you were together.

You started to hold hands more and more, convincing yourself that this was things friends did and there was no romance budding, none at all. Hugs became common too. Eventually, you two braved kissing each other on the cheek or forehead now and again, telling yourselves it was all for platonic affection, that you weren't craving anything more.

You obviously were, though.

Confessing your feelings was more like realizing your feelings out loud. Epel was delighted--he immediately insisted on being your official partner, talking excitedly about all the things he wanted to do with you now that you were together. Oh, and the best part? He's got a partner before Vil. Ha!

Together, you guys are very affectionate. Dates with each other are more about being with each other than about what you were doing, because whether you were on a walk together or curled up for a movie night, the world around you always seemed to disappear.

Epel's convinced you're his soulmate. He writes home about you, brags about you to anyone who will listen and automatically offers his home up to you after graduation, if that's something you would like. You're in this together, as far as he's concerned--even if that means going back to your world with you, a world without magic (as lame as he thought that sounded, he'd do it).

Congratulations! You had your very own 'friends to lovers' arc with Epel, a sweet and endearing love story that was worth bragging about. Love with Epel was strong, fiery, and exciting--there would never be a dull moment with your best friend at your side.

Idia:

Falls First: Idia ✧ Falls Harder: You

He knows immediately when he falls for you and he hates it.

He's such a huge grouch about it--and even though he won't tell you why, he gets cranky around you too. You're just too cute for your own good, you know that? At least, he thinks so.

Like, what is he supposed to do when you're sitting there all lovely and whatnot, and he wants to kiss you, but doesn't have half the courage he needs to make that sort of mood?

He doubts you'd ever fall for someone like him anyways, so while he still invites you to his room for games and movies and other fanboy things it grinds his gears that he just can't seem to level up your relationship.

Unbeknownst to him, you weren't far behind in falling for him.

Knowing Idia as well as you did was a rare luxury--almost no one could claim to have that same level of friendship as you had with him, and as a result you got to see many sides of him beyond his shut-in reputation. You loved seeing him get animated about something--whether it be an idol group, an anime, a game, cats, anything he might be interested in.

What was even more fun was spoiling him with affection. You were convinced this guy's never been properly hugged in his life, so of course you we're going to offer him that kind of affection on the daily. He flusters easily, but he also lets you know he's grateful for it, in his own grouchy way.

Your heart knew you were in love with him before your mind caught up, because realization came when you were on a call with him and ended it by saying "Love you". You weren't sure who ended the call then, because as far as you knew both of you we're wildly flustered at the admission.

Even though he fell, it took him a while to say it back--partially because he thought it was too good to be true, but partially because, well, it's his nature. He's just not used to the 'ooey-gooey normie nonsense' yet.

He's working on it.

Literally no one understands the two of you together; you're one of the school's biggest personalities, having dealt with overblots and Crowley's impulses time and time again, whereas Idia won't even bother to show up in person for classes. He's grouchy and catlike and doesn't seem like the type to ever warm up to you, and you're not the type to beg someone for the time of day, so in the minds of others the fact that you're together is frankly unbelievable.

Still, who cares what the normies think, right?

Love with Idia is different--it's refreshing, because neither of you go by the book. Every gesture comes from the heart, and every expression of love is in a language the two of you understand, regardless of how the rest of the world perceives it. Cosplaying characters together or staying up for gaming marathons might not be everyone's ideal date, but to Idia, it's further proof you're the one for him.

You both love each other dearly, and neither of you ever want to let the other go ♡

Malleus:

Falls First: Malleus ✧ Falls Harder: You

You know good and well when he's fallen for you. If your time at NRC was a TV show, he'd be in love within the first few episodes.

He's not the type to fall in love on a whim, though. He gives it very serious consideration, and so once he attaches the word 'love' to his feelings for you, he's certain about it.

He gets his dating advice from Lilia, so he's... old-fashioned, to say the least. Love letters are a personal favorite of his, and he always signs his letters with a playful 'Tsunotarou'. Flower bouquets and nighttime walks together are other tactics he frequently tries to bring to fruition.

You... you're a little to wrapped up in overblots and drama to give love any serious thought, but every time you get a break Malleus is there, waiting.

He always seems to be there when you need him. He's wise and doting, and it's hard not to fall for him too. He's so romantic it would make even the most straight-faced fellow blush, and he gives you such a sense of peace that you hate when you have to leave his side. It's like you belong together, physically and otherwise.

Sebek's protests in the matter almost make your love story more romantic. Forbidden love, anyone? Faes and humans, falling in love despite the wishes and opinions of those around them. How dreamy!

In fact, you two embrace each other's differences. Malleus tells you tales and tales of the fae world, wooing you with the most incredible traditions and stories. In return, you tell him stories from your own world, anything he might be curious about--the history, the culture, stories from your childhood, the list goes on.

You're his treasure. Malleus is protective of you and supportive of you, and if he were being honest, he never wants you to leave Twisted Wonderland--after all, as a prince, he can't easily follow after you to your own world, as much as he would like to. Still, he loves you so much that he'd never stop you; either way, you'll have his heart in your hands, and he's willing to try to make any situation work. He adores you that much.

Competitively, you tell him you love him more. He doesn't believe it, but that doesn't stop you from trying to prove it. In fact, with the stunning romantic gestures you two do, it wouldn't surprise anyone if it did turn out to be a competition. You're always one-upping each other, and as a result, your love never loses it's spark.

It's a love that makes you feel like you can conquer the world. Then again, what's the point of conquering the world when your world is standing by your side, talking about gargoyles?

Lilia:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Lilia

You fall first, and he knows right away. It's frustrating.

He doesn't tease you about it though--some part of him compels him to treat your feelings gently, and so even though you know he knows your feelings, he never brings it up. He teases you about the drama you get wrapped up in and the silly shenanigans you get up to with your friends, but never your feelings.

And that stupid consideration just makes you fall more.

You confront him about it too--he knows about your feelings anyways, so why not make a joke out of it? Coping mechanisms, everyone. Humor is your default.

So you complain to him sometimes, about him being "too cute" or "too witty" or "too beautiful". He'll snicker at the compliments, agreeing with you and telling you it comes with the job description. He's so freaking playful, how are you supposed to un-fall in love with this man?

Luckily, you don't have to. Instead, Lilia ends up falling for you.

Like Malleus, Lilia takes romance seriously, so he's not going to fall for you without caution. He can't help it, though--you're just so perfect, perfect for him anyways.

In the end, he starts to be the one complaining about his love for you.

"You're just gonna steal my heart like that, huh?"

Once you're together, the complaining continues. Well, it's beyond complaining at this point. Now it's just blatant flirting, the kind that's so cheesy that Ace and Deuce will make faces when they're in earshot.

"Can't believe you're gonna make me fall in love with you and then not come kiss me right now."

Lilia genuinely does not care about PDA. Dude makes it a point to gross other people out at this point. He's going to love you to the ends of the earth and he's gonna be a menace about it too.

In between moments of cheesy movie moments, though, he has his times of genuine, thoughtful romance. He's still quite old fashioned, and so he walks you to your dorm every evening and says goodbye with a kiss and makes sure to text you a 'good morning' or 'I love you' whenever he can.

Still, Lilia has both serious and playful moments, and so while one moment he's wooing you with love letters he could very well joke about you falling for a 'single dad' or 'batty old man' the next. As mentioned above--he's a menace.

Such a lovely menace though.

Congratulations, Shrimpy--you've wooed the mysterious fae-dad of the Diasomnia dorm. I hope you're willing to deal with the consequences ♡

Silver:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Silver

✨Silver✨

He's just so, so lovely, isn't he?

He doesn't hide his personality--he's pretty open to you from the start, in fact it's almost instant chemistry between the two of you.

Of course, his ethereal beauty and dreamy, sleepy presence wasn't all that won you over. He's devoted and serious and loyal, and his naivety is unexpectedly charming.

The falling in love part probably started with him becoming your go-to for when you were stressed out. Silver has the capacity to be chaotic if Malleus is threatened, but the majority of the time he exudes an almost sleepy sort of peacefulness from him, and he lets you join him for studying or napping or sometimes even training if you're up for it.

Silver understands you more than others at NRC, in a way--you were a nonmagical human in a world full of mages, and Silver was a human who grew up surrounded by powerful fae, so... there's some bonding to be had there? He sympathizes with your plight and lets you come to him for comfort whenever you need it, and there aren't many at NRC who will handle your feelings as gently as he would.

He became your comfort, your peace, and eventually, the love of your life. You didn't expect Silver to fall for you in return, but time told a different story.

See, Silver sometimes needed comfort too. He stressed himself out about his service to Malleus, constantly questioning whether he was being good enough, if he was too overprotective or underprotective or lazy or anything else. He found that you were a source of comfort for him as well, and being able to have that level of vulnerability around you fostered a fondness for you in his heart.

He likes a lot of things about you, actually--he admires your ability to conquer problems head-on, the way you're loyal and protective of your friends, the way you can bond with nearly anyone at NRC. You're so good at earning respect that even Sebek has learned to acknowledge you, which is a rare occurrence indeed.

It's not until Lilia spells it out that Silver realizes his feelings, and even then, he's a little slow. Love with him is slow and steady, but alluring and healing, like the feeling of laying down for a nap after a long day. You two long for each other like two halves of a whole, and it's only when you're by each other's side that you're complete.

It's a pure love, a gentle and devoted love. Even outsiders can tell that you two would do anything for each other, and best of all, the Diasomnia family has given the two of you their stamp of approval (even Sebek, only after he heard his Waka-Sama talking about how wonderful you were for each other).

In short, loving Silver was a dream come true.

Sebek:

Falls First: You ✧ Falls Harder: Sebek

You and Sebek started off... not so nicely with each other. In fact, it took a while for you to even become friends.

However, after dealing with so many overblots, surviving through so much chaos and showing off a huge range of skills, you seemed to impress him enough for him to stop boxing you in as some sophomoric human and call you by your actual name, or 'Prefect' if he was feeling particularly respectful.

It was a huge step in your relationship, because once he started treating you like you weren't an inferior, you quickly reevaluated your impression of him.

See, Sebek wasn't just some... bratty, screaming fae who only spent his time groveling at Malleus's feet; he was a hard worker, a half-fae of many talents, a rather kind and sweet boy once you got to know him. He was proud of himself and where he came from, he loved his mother and siblings dearly, and he gave great respect not just to Malleus, but anyone who earned it. He was extremely passionate, never cutting corners or slacking off in order to be the best knight he could be. He had hobbies and preferences just like anyone else, it just takes a little longer to learn about them because he loves what he does so much.

It's kind of... endearing.

Okay, it's a lot endearing. Not to mention, Sebek eventually goes out of his way to look out for you. If he sees you struggling he'll volunteer his services, arrogantly proclaiming his wide skillset and assuring you he was more than capable. Every time you thanked him or praised him, he'd get a stupid grin and puff out his chest and start to shyly agree, though he'd quickly hide his face n his hands so he could keep up is gratuitious self-confidence schtick. Your praise must have meant a lot to him though, because he made it a point to start impressing you. It worked, because you'd fallen for him first, and you fell hard.

Now Sebek... Sebek never saw himself falling for a human. In fact, once he started to question his feelings for you he'd get so worked up that even Lilia couldn't talk to him without him jumping ten feet in the air. It was almost.... scary for him. After all, it would be a complete negligence of duty, right? He shouldn't be chasing after some human anyways....

...and yet, that's what he found himself doing.

Begrudgingly, he gave into his feelings and started off by writing you a curt love letter. He was surprised when you replied, and upon reading all the love you filled your letter with... well, he craved more. It became a common exchange between you two, and as much as he denied it, he was the sentimental and romantic type of guy who kept all the letters you sent him. He remembered the things you wrote even better than you did sometimes.

Once he starts to let you in, he falls harder and harder. You're so different from what he expected; he finds himself admiring you, enough so that he starts studying and training with you, if you're open to it. He thinks your own passion and determination is admirable, not to mention how amicable you are with so much of the student body. He doesn't blame everyone else for being soft for you--after all, he's the softest.

Sebek is very romantic, and even the smallest gestures leave him a flustered mess. He's the type to write home about little things like hand-holding and pet names, so any grand gesture is sure to leave him stunned and stuttering. Still, he absolutely won't be outdone by you in the world of romance; every gesture from you is a challenge for him, and he constantly tries to one-up you, as if it's the only way to prove his love and devotion.

He's sworn loyalty to Malleus, so an insecure part of you tells you to not expect much--still, Sebek doesn't just settle for you being a side-part of his life. He wants you in it for the long haul, so if he has to constantly assure you he has every ability to protect you and look out for you and love on you while serving Lord Malleus, so be it.

Love with him is passionate and romantic and very loud, because he's not going to be with someone he'd ever be ashamed of. He's proud of you despite his initial prejudice against humans; he supposes his mom was onto something after all, falling for one.

With Sebek, all the world will know about your love. It's the kind of love they write stories about, and you two just so happen to make the best story of all.