I Keep Thinking Of This

Matilda sits cross legged on the counter as she watches Jesse lock up around her. Her shift technically finished over an hour ago, but the combination of a familiar yet unwelcome face lurking across the road and the unsettling recent events didn’t exactly have her rushing to leave. She takes a sip from a bottle she had picked up during her lunch break and saved till now, extending it to Jesse.

‘‘I have a very very very important question ’’ she starts, pulling her legs up to her chest ‘‘ do you wanna come to the park and swing on the swings with me ? I might even push you if you’re lucky ’’

@hvrrorsfm

🐝  *  ―  𝑪𝑶𝑴𝑭𝑶𝑹𝑻𝑰𝑵𝑮 𝑺𝑬𝑵𝑻𝑬𝑵𝑪𝑬 𝑺𝑻𝑨𝑹𝑻𝑬𝑹𝑺.  (  some random sentences that can either be used for angsty or fluffy or sometimes even both situations.  feel free to adjust to better fit your muses.  )

❛  can i give you a hug?  ❜ ❛  whether you like it or not, i’m not giving up on you.  ❜ ❛  do you want to talk about it?  ❜ ❛  i promise that everything will get better soon.  ❜ ❛  it’s okay not to be okay.  ❜ ❛  i’m sorry you have to go through this.  ❜ ❛  let me know if there’s anything i can do for you.  ❜ ❛  can i get you anything?  ❜ ❛  i’ll be back to check up on you later.  ❜ ❛  we’ll get through this together.  ❜ ❛  it’s okay. you can tell me.  ❜ ❛  tell me what you need.  ❜ ❛  it’s okay, deep breaths. that’s it, in and out.  ❜ ❛  i wish i had the right words, just know that i care.  ❜ ❛  i’m just trying to understand how you feel.  ❜ ❛  we all need a little help sometimes.  ❜ ❛  i’m gonna make something to eat for you.  ❜ ❛  shh … it’s okay. you’re safe here now.  ❜ ❛  whatever happened, i’ll be there for you.  ❜ ❛  how are you feeling?  ❜ ❛  i understand that what you’re going through must be painful.  ❜ ❛  cry, yell, whatever ― i’m not gonna leave your side.  ❜ ❛  just let it all out.  ❜ ❛  you don’t have to pretend to be fine with me.  ❜ ❛  please don’t give up now.  ❜ ❛  i care about you and i’m here for you.  ❜ ❛  i know this must be hard for you.  ❜ ❛  are you okay?  ❜ ❛  you don’t have to go through this alone.  ❜ ❛  i … really don’t know what to say or do but i’ll try my best.  ❜

I am a broken mirror, Each shard too sharp.

overdosing-on-pills (via wnq-writers)

Sammy is almost always the first to throw the punch. It’s a fight or flight instilled in him - gifted even, by his father. And when his anxiety levels are already high, so are the rest of his emotions. He’s barely slept, bags under his eyes from a four-day stand-off with his dad, so when a couple of older men that used to tease him in school make a snide comment about his mother, he’s the first to throw the punch. Every ounce of frustration that has built up goes straight to his fists as he swings, ‘‘ Fuckin’ say it again ! ’’ He’s spitting like some feral animal, barely registering the hands that grab him from behind and pull him away ‘‘ No - let me fuckin’ at ‘em, I can take them. ’’ the heel of his hands press into his eyes as he tries to bring himself back down. ‘‘ they’re always fuckin’ pickin’ at me, that group of fucking pratts are. They called the fuckin’ cops on my brother last week as well ! ’’

“Madness as a defense against terror. Madness as a defense against grief.”

— Susan Sontag, from As Consciousness Is Harnessed to Flesh: Journals and Notebooks 1964-1980

matilda is sitting on the floor behind the counter, trying to eat a sandwich as quickly as possible. They’re now ‘ down a staff member ’, so she’s doing a shift ALONE for the first time. It is an odd feeling, and she’s trying to keep herself busy as to not focus on or feel the overwhelming grief that comes with loosing a friend. The sound of the door takes her by surprise - of course, their first customer of the day is going to come while she’s trying to have lunch - and she quickly wraps it up before the familiar voice echoes through the shop. She stands up quickly, a smile forced across her features. ‘‘ good afternoon, darling boy ! ’’ its bright, it has to be. ‘‘ i mean, you’re welcome to still do so if you wish, i’ll just close my eyes. ’’

DESPITE LACKING EMPLOYMENT THERE , the record shop would be one of the first places anyone who knew nickie would look , should they be on the search for him. less so lately than usual , but loitering around the shop and bothering its employees ( mainly his sister ) was typically one of his go-to pastimes. wandering through the door , the first thing they noticed was how quiet it was , not a soul in sight. " anybody here ? " they called out , hoping someone might emerge from the back rooms , " hope you know I'm going to start stealing things if I'm left alone for too long. " it was a joke , sure , but one that had the likelihood of quickly becoming reality if he grew bored enough.

CLOSED STARTER | FOR MATILDA YAXLEY ( @hecrtgolden )

tilly takes a seat next to him, legs crossed and shoulders bumping slightly. ‘‘ and what is the vibe ? darkness and misery ? ’’ it's light and teasing ‘‘ if i didn't know better, i would think you have an allergy to color.  ’’

hecrtgolden​:

‘‘ This ’’ she says quietly, trailing her finger across the ceiling ‘‘ this is where the split should be. And here, on this side - the evening sun. Lilacs and baby pinks. Yellow trickling through. and this side - this would be midnight rain. Navy’s, blacks, hundreds of tiny fibre optic lights for stars. Brooding clouds and tiny raindrops. ” A sigh escapes her lips as she jumps down from the ladder. “ That’s just how I would decorate it, if I was you. ”

@bashscmmers

the roll of golden hues came rather naturally when around matilda . probably due to the pure opposites that they’ve grown to be . in fact , her description was a pretty good indicator of their own dynamic . tilly , sunshine and rainbows . sebastian fit the broody rain and clouded aura .  ❝ i don’t know if i could tolerate that much sunshine , even if it is split . doesn’t quite fit the vibe . ❞ 

#me trying to run from my problems