Maybe I'm Just A Cynic, But I Swear, Every Progressive I Know With A Daughter Or Niece, Especially If

fun little Stray musical Easter egg

so I was poking around for more info on the composer for Stray. IMDB?

ok, cool. but I want to know more. to the personal site!

so charmingly minimal, but I want to know even more. Twitter?

wait a minute. where do I know that screen name from?

*gasp*

Key to Nowhere

You cry out for someone save you from this trap an irresistible call to ears like mine

Oh, what can I do? What shall I do? Anything at all for you

I fumble to find the release There must be a catch somewhere out here that will let me let you out

My groping leads me nowhere but closer to you so I step away to get a better look

As I examine the fuller picture of it all your hand pops out as if by magic (or is it just a door I've never seen before?)

You hold it out to me but I don't take it already preoccupied with taking it all in

Your face appears above your tightly-clenched fingers Your eyes beg me to let you unclasp I let you place it upon my palm You retreat as though you were never out here

Your pleas for me to release you shift from wistful to YOU HAVE THE FUCKING KEY LET ME OUT RIGHT NOW

With one hand and both ears so full of what you've given me I resume my search, somehow more fruitless than before

My vain efforts rise in sync with your cries

You go from expelling your heart's content through your lungs to inhaling every molecule of oxygen left

Before I can drop it right there so that the force of your vacuum sucks it in and lets me let you choke on it-- you expel all you took in back out blasting me far away from you embedding its jagged edges into my skin

Now you can tell the next one a truth that I'd absconded with the only copy

Someone who identifies as straight: *flirts with my non-binary ass but is visibly confused that they're attracted to me*

Me: "I'm going to wreck you..."

Them: *shudders in mixed fear and arousal*

Me: "...r concept of what counts as sex and the construct of virginity."

*pulls out whiteboard and worksheets*

"Let's start with Hanne Blank."

"Short Skirt, Long Jacket" by CAKE was the prototype for the new breed of fauxminist d00d who claims he is supportive of his partner's career success, but really just wants to rely on her for all of his needs, including financial. In this essay I will

No, autocorrect. I actually did mean "discrete", not "discreet". This isn't 2009, and I am not a married man posting personal ads on the sly on Craigslist.

Real talk re calling yourself an atheist vs. saying you're agnostic:

If you're willing to have believers preach at you because they think you're open minded and indecisive, say you're agnostic.

If you'd like to skip the preaching and go straight to the anger at you for daring to so shamelessly exist without belief in a deity, say you're an atheist.

Either way, they're going to be mad at you. I prefer to save myself the trouble, personally.

(For the record, I'm technically an agnostic atheist, but that is a concept almost no one gets, so I say one or the other when I'm not in the mood or place for giving a big philosophy lesson.)

So much about The Hunchback of Notre Dame was lost on me as a sheltered child. My main memory from my first watch is thinking "I AM DISCOMFORT AND I DO NOT KNOW WHY. I NEED AN ADULT".

I think the most striking thing I noticed in this re-watch was the difference between Esmeralda's actual dancing and the way Frollo sees her in the flames. In her actual dance, there's sensuality and appeal, no doubt, but she's playful and mocking. She's messing with him and everyone else drooling over her. On the other hand, during his "Sorry 4 My Boner, Plz God Don't Send Me to Horny Hell Jail" song, Fake Flame Esmeralda is giggling and mincing in a way she never does in reality.

The modern versions of that most godly judge are dudes who think the stripper like totally wants him for real, trust me bro, she'd totally bone him if it weren't against the rules.

I am currently reviewing and auditing digital records related to Internet governance. Many are legal documents that underwent endless cycles of revisions and approvals. The oldest among them are over 25 years old.

Much of what used to baffle me about Microsoft Word suddenly makes so. much. sense.

Knowledge is knowing that it's Frankenstein's monster; wisdom is not looking for a lab coat when you Find Frankie.

I am not special. I deserve the same grace, rights, and consideration that everyone else does.