More Memes From Ifunny. Credit In Top Left Of Each Image.

things i’ll not call you a whore for:

sexual activity

how you dress

things i’ll call you a whore for:

stealing my food 

stealing my lemons

my cat likes you more than me

why does this exist

what the fuck

i have ideas on what an unalive thing could be

1. someone/something’s that’s mentally dead, an office worker stuck in a rut, a mind controlled person, the classic “their soul/passion/whatever was stolen”, someone broken by trauma or something similar where they now just follow orders

2. people stuck in time loops or self-fulfilling prophecies, sure they aren’t actually dead but they’re either guaranteed to die in a specific way or are in a cycle they can’t escape and may as well be dead (note for time loops i specifically mean ones that cause themselves, inescapable unchangeable time loops)

3. A whalefall (or whalefall type things)it’s a living thing, an entire ecosystem but in its core it’s a dead whale

"unalive" should just mean the opposite of undead. if undead means a dead thing thats alive, unalive shuld mean an alive things thats dead. no i dont have any examples. ☝️yet

Evil biology facts that fill me with Fear :)

hey, I heard y’all like evil biology facts like knowledge about horse blood types.

well! today I was researching alternative biochemistries extraterrestrial life could use and. man. I think Earth life is fucked up enough for me thanks

biological dark matter. WHAT DO YOU MEAN MY BLOOD HAS DNA IN IT FROM NO KNOWN SOURCE. YOU CAN’T JUST SAY THAT COME BACK HERE

One specific cave that has been sealed for 5.5 million years and has developed an ecosystem completely dependent on chemosynthetic bacteria.

Was anybody going to tell me that bacteria have decided iron is yummy and are eating the Titanic, or was I supposed to just read that myself

Terrible Berry (yes, that’s what the genus name means). This whole thing is so fucked up. These scientists were testing whether radiation could be used to kill pathogens in food, so they dosed a tin of meat with enough radiation to kill any known living organism (as one does) but guess what, it still fucking spoiled because of THIS BASTARD FUCKER.

(seriously, why is it like this? WHY has a bacterium evolved to chill in radioactive waste like it’s a soothing Jacuzzi tub? What does it know that we don’t know?)

(ANSWERS. I WANT ANSWERS, YOU CHERNOBYL ASS BITCH.)

Cursed worm, which has no mouth or digestive system and depends entirely on five (5) different species of bacteria, which consume hydrogen sulfide, hydrogen monoxide, and carbon monoxide, for food. How do you, a worm, even...figure out how to do...all that?

Bone worms. At least they like their bones already dead. I still could have gone without knowing this was a thing.

“Oh, parasitic plant, that sounds c—WHAT THE FUCK IS THAT THING”

I am like half convinced this is made up. Seriously, bacteria grow their own electrical wires and we just let them?

I was cleaning out my computer and I found a bunch of screenshots of text posts from 2013-2014. The golden age of tumblr.

I take no credit for these posts.

Okay, so, Pactverse Peter Pan. Neverland is a knotted place, Tinkerbell is a High Summer fae in the process of succumbing to Winter, and Peter is her Bright Eyed companion. Tinkerbell created Neverland as a flailing last ditch effort to remain engaged in the Stories rather than fall to the winter court, and towards that end, acquired Peter to be an instigator of Narrative. The dynamic between them is responsible for their home becoming knotted. Captain Hook is a practitioner who seeks to claim the vast stores of plot power stored there for himself.

The voice was so spot on it took me seconds to realize what he said.

praise be the Saint Electric

乱铁 @_dirtyiron_