Listen Man, *pulls Heart Shaped Lollipop Out Of My Mouth With A Pop Noise And Points It At You* Im Gay

i’d like to introduce you guys to Sticky Note the clown. 1 like = a pat for Sticky Note, 1 reblog = a kiss for Him.

This is the type of stuff i love to see! This makes me so soft

richie tozier the legend

so, @eddiesbadbreak and @eddiekasp and I were in TEARS the other day over the idea of adult richie tozier being super connected and up to date with the high school kids and community so here we go :

-Richie goes to Dunkin Donuts every morning before work and gets his breakfast : black coffee and a cinnamon donut. He becomes friends with the employees there, and it gets to a point where his order his ready for him when he comes in every morning.

-“Here’s your coffee Mr. Tozier, your donut with be right out!”

-He tips HUGE and the kids literally argue over who gets to bring him his order.

-Sometimes he sits down and talks to the kids and they catch him up on what is going down at school

“Mr. Tozier, you won’t believe what happened yesterday at school.”

“Marcus, sit your ass down and tell me everything.”

~

“So Benny is cheating on Grace with Ashley?”

“Yeah, but listen Mr. Tozier, the quaterback of the football team-”

“Jeffrey?”

“Yeah, Jeffrey and Benny have been hooking up too-”

“HOLY SHIT!!”

“I know!!!”

~

“I haven’t seen Brenda lately, is she on vacation?”

“No Mr. Tozier she got fired last week.”

“Tell me everything Jared.”

~

-Everyone calls him Mr. Tozier

-Every time Richie and Eddie go out, it feels like they hear “Yeah Mr. Tozier!!” then Eddie yells back, “We are MARRIED!!!”

-Whenever the kids see Eddie they ask about Richie

“Hey Mr. Tozier hows the other Mr. Tozier?”

“He’s doing fine, Emma.”

“Tell Mr. Tozier I said hi! Bye Mr. Tozier!”

~

-Richie becomes the football announcer for all of the games and all of the kids love it because he over shares.

“And there goes Jacob Hudson! He’s coming in hot! This defense can’t seem to catch him! AaaaaaND TOUCHDOWN!!! What a great play, what a great kid, it’s truly a shame that his girlfriend is cheating on him, WHAT A NIGHT FOLKS!!!”

~

“Alright everybody it is now time for our player spotlight for tonight’s game. Tonight we have the one, the only, Rrrrrodger Rrrrranks! And folks let me tell you this kid has been playing the game since he could hold a football. Lets pray he makes it to the big time because this kid can’t make a cup of coffee for his life folks! Sorry Rodg, you suck at the food game, but not this game! Aaaand THAT’S tonight’s spotlight folks.”

~

-They sell tickets to the games solely because Richie is announcing.

-Eddie and Richie donate money to the school

-Richie chaperones at all of the school dances but he spikes the punch and ends up being the life of the party

-At the end of the school year, Richie throws a massive party at his big ass Beverly Hills mansion house.

-He picks four seniors and gets them to help him set up and plan the party. He lets them hire a DJ, make the guest list, and get the house ready.

-He fills the bottom of his pool with hundreds of red glow sticks

-He buys SO MUCH BOOZE and hires bartenders

-Eddie sets up a key jar and buys a bunch of condoms. He locks he & Richie’s bedroom but leaves the guest rooms open and leaves a bowl of condoms by the stairs.

-Richie calls the cab company and pays for them to be ready to drive kids home who have had too much to drink

-Richie gets super dressed up, he wears his red suit and yellow dress shoes and he slicks his hair back. He looks like a gameshow host

-All of the kids love his outfits and compliment him

-Richie gets hammered and stands of the roof, takes off his suit jacket and all the kids start yelling “TOZIER TOZIER TOZIER TOZIER” and he cannon-ball’s into the pool off the roof.

-Some of the girls get super drunk and try to flirt with him but Richie just laughs at them

-The next morning there are at least ten kids passed out somewhere in their house.

-Eddie goes around with a broom and pokes them awake then calls them a cab.

-Richie is super hungover

-Kids who couldn’t drive home stop by throughout the day to pick up their keys and their cars

-The Toziers are known as local legends

@/jamiebug02 on twitter

Special Giveaway: We’re giving away three vintage Shakespeare Signet Classics paperbacks. This is a special giveaway for macrolit followers who are following on both Tumblr and Twitter! Enter to win these classics by: 1) following macrolit on Tumblr and on Twitter (yes, we will check. :P), and 2) reblogging this post and adding your Twitter name as a tag. We will choose a random winner on July 14, so reblog now! And yes, we’ll ship to any country! Easy, right? Good luck! :D For our non-Twitter followers, here’s our regular giveaway of 15 vintage paperback classics.

help

so at my moms house (which i will be living in from summer until i graduate) there are these two boys.  One rides a skateboard and is very cute. and the other is who i assume is his best friend.  both of them have circled my street multiple times today and i keep making super awkward eye contact with Skateboard Boy.  I don’t know their names but I do know that we will be going to the same school next year and he has to live relatively close to be in walking distance of my house.  Anyways, i want to introduce myself but I'm super awkward and am really bad at talking to people so please help.  reblog so others can help as well.

Delicious fun for the whole family! Or just one person!

he still 100% teases her about it

do you ever think about how jake used to tease amy when she expressed her nerdy interests and now he’s just gazing at her with big heart eyes

he wouldnt hurt a fly. he would hurt other things he just really likes bugs

HEAVY on the put your dogs in life jackets! with the designer breeds and mixes nowadays, most dogs either dont know how or physically cannot swim!

unless they are specifically a water breed they should have a life jacket, they should have one anyways regardless if the water is too deep to touch

What's the most basic thing you've had to explain to someone for their own safety?

I spend a lot of time in my career and social life begging people to wear life jackets. I've taught courses on water safety and rescues (teaching people to get back back into boats after falling out or capsizing etc.) and have found that in general, people tend to both overestimate their ability to swim and underestimate the strength of currents, the effects of cold water, and the actual distance between their boat and land on the horizon.

Please just wear your life jackets and PLEASE put your dogs in life jackets too!