Pride Month Ask Game

pls

just looking for a gf who doesn’t want the pickle that comes with her sandwich at lunch and she says here do u want my pickle and gives it to me

Harry: Hey Neville, how are my kids doing at Hogwarts?

Neville: *flashbacks of James in detention for wandering the corridors after curfew, Albus in detention for being caught with his hand down Scorpius Malfoy's pants, Lily in detention for punching a boy who said girls are weak*

Neville: Haha, just peachy! No worries, Harry!

None of you can tell me this is not cannon

Inspired @connorsquarter ‘s post

did I ghostwrite this?

I just watched all 5 seasons of b99 in under a week and I would just like to-

AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH

fallout in the food Mart

war in the walmart

cat bites

heres something fun, earlier today my cat bit me and now there is an inch long piece of my skin that is very swollen and painful and red on my palm.  

after a few minutes of internet research apparently, cat bites are very infectious and I should see a doctor immediately. 

heres the fun part.

its 3:40 in the morning on a Wednesday and everyone in my house is asleep and my hand hurts like hell and I can’t do anything about it for a few hours which is bad because cat bites can destroy tendons because their dumb stupid little teeth inject bacteria into a part of your body and, because their dumb teeth are so little, the wound closes up and seals the bacteria in.  

I have a very painful closed wound on my palm and I can’t do anything about it for like 5 hours.

i hate when im horny so i open up porn okay seems reasonable, but then im on the main page and im like, eh. this is just people having sex.

“Dudley and I were chanting ‘McDonalds! McDonalds! McDonalds!’ and Uncle Vernon pulled in and ordered one black coffee for himself and left”

“You have the moral backbone of a chocolate éclair” - Harry to Voldy

Idea: Harry Potter but it’s narrated by John Mulaney.

“Harry kept all of his emotions in his chest. And one day he will die.”

i will be that friend

I just want friend who will watch musicals with me and learn all the lyrics to the songs so we can dramatically reenact them together.

Reblog this and by the end of the month, I’ll give you a small art of a very very very chubby cat.

Make sure your submissions are open!