I Don’t Think I Can Physically Be Sad Over Techno When I Know He’s Invading Wilbur’s Dreams Just

Pumpkin Shaped Dinner Rolls

"On Halloween night, the Great Pumpkin rises from his pumpkin patch and flies through the air with his bag of toys to [give to] all the children." - Linus, It’s The Great Pumpkin, Charlie Brown!

Happy Halloween everyone! I’ve been a huge fan of Charlie Brown for as long as I can remember. Every year, my family watches the specials on TV and I must have read each volume in my grandmother’s massive collection at least three times.

So, when I saw this tumblr post late last year, I knew exactly what I wanted to make for Halloween this year… but with a twist! After some trial and error, I’ve found a way to add cinnamon/pumpkin spice sugar to these rolls while avoiding a massive pocket of it.

So, grab your fall-themed drink of choice and check out below for how to make a batch of these delicious pull-apart dinner rolls for yourself! The great pumpkin may just pay you a visit for your troubles…

(Based on the post by Chef John from All Recipes and the tumblr post linked above.)

Prep: 20 mins             Cook:  3 hrs             Total: 3 hrs 20 mins

Ingredients:

1 cup (240 ml) milk, warm

1 packet (2 ½ tsp, 6.5 g) active dry yeast

1 tbsp. (15 ml) honey

4 tbsp. (57 g) butter, melted

1 tsp (6 g) salt

2 ¾ cup (345 g) all-purpose flour, plus ¼ cup (30 g) more for dusting

Kitchen string cut into 12 32-inch long pieces

Vegetable oil

Pour in the warm milk, yeast, honey, and butter into a large bowl and stir to combine (top-left).

Next, add the salt and the 2 ¾ cups of flour. Using a wooden spoon, stir in the flour until a shaggy, sticky dough forms (top-right).

Turn the sticky dough out onto a clean, lightly floured work surface and knead the dough until it becomes smooth, elastic, and is no longer sticky, about 10 minutes. 

Form the dough into a rough ball shape by tucking in the sides. Lightly coat a medium or large bowl with vegetable oil and transfer the dough seam-side down (top-left).

Cover the bowl with lightly greased plastic wrap or a dish cloth and let rise until the dough has doubled in size, about 1 ½ hours (top-right).

Meanwhile, prepare two baking trays with parchment paper or reusable silicon liners.

TIP: I found that only about 3 tsp (8 g) of the reserved dusting flour spread out onto the board was needed to keep the dough workable without the buns becoming dense.

TIP: Remember from the video, you’ll know the dough has been kneaded enough when it springs back after being lightly pressed and you can stretch out a piece the dough like a windowpane without it ripping. The windowpane should also be able to support the weight of the rest of the piece of dough without ripping.

Once the dough has doubled in size, turn it out onto your clean work surface and knead it a few times to bring it back together.

Next, either cut the dough in half and divide each half into six even wedges or divide the dough into 50g - 55g portions using a kitchen scale.

Knead each portion a little and then pull in the edges of the dough to create a ball (like the big dough ball). Secure the its shape by placing the ball seam-side down on the work surface and gently rolling it with the palm of a clawed hand, for about 10 seconds.

Once the smaller dough balls have been formed, place them seam-side down on the prepared baking tray, cover, and let rest for 15 minutes.

Meanwhile, place the pieces of kitchen string in bowl and toss them with a generous amount of vegetable oil. 

NOTE: Do not move onto the next step without this first rest. The dough will expand way too much around the string if you wrap it immediately.

Optional addition to this step:

If you’d would like slightly sweeter rolls to dip in coffee or tea, you can add some cinnamon/pumpkin spice sugar after kneading the measured portions and before shaping the rolls.

First, roll the dough flat and spread ~⅛ tsp. of the sugar mixture on one half (top left). Then, fold in half so the sugar mixture is covered and spread another ~⅛ tsp. on half of the folded dough (top right).

Fold in half again and follow the shaping instructions above to seal the rolls.

NOTE: If you put ¼ tsp. of the sugar mixture in the middle of the rolled dough and shape it from there, the mixture will not be evenly distributed throughout the dough - you’ll just get a dry sugar bomb in the middle of the roll.

After letting them rest, working one roll at a time, place the end of one piece of string on the seam-side of the roll with enough of an overhang to tie a double knot latter, ~2 inches (5 cm).

Wrap the string around the dough so eight sections are created. Unlike the tumblr video in the intro, I wrap the string around the dough in one motion (no crisscrossing or twisting strings).

The string should be secure but loose enough that it isn’t pressing much on the dough before the knot is tied.

Once wrapped, double knot the string so there is enough pressure to form small indents and return the roll to the baking tray knot-side down (which should also be seam-side down).

Cover and let rest for an additional 30 minutes. Preheat the oven to 375॰F (190॰C) with the oven rack in the middle of the oven.

TIP: Any adjustments to the placement of the string should be made before the knot is tied. The string is virtually unmovable at that point.

TIP: If you’re choosing to add the sugar mixture, set a 15 minute timer once you’ve shaped the first roll. Depending on how long it takes to get through all the dough, you may be able to start wrapping the string around the rolls as soon as you finish shaping the last one.

Sift a little bit of flour on top of each roll (top left).

Bake until the rolls have lightly browned and sound hollow when knocked, about 20 to 25 mins (top right).

Once the rolls have cooled enough to handle, cut the strings off of each roll from the bottom. Slowly and carefully unwrap each roll, removing any strands of string that get stuck.

NOTE: It might have been the string I was using, but I found a lot of little strands were left behind as I unwrapped the rolls. The best solution for this I found was: 

Not to wring out any of the vegetable oil from the string when I took it from the bowl and, 

Have my finger directly behind the string as it slowly peeled away from the roll to help all the little strands come off. 

You’ll probably still need to go in an remove some from where the knot was tied, but this should get rid of most of them.

Finally, cut one or two cinnamon sticks into ¾ inch (2 cm) pieces and press one into the tops of each roll to create the stems.

TIP: To cut the cinnamon sticks, use a steak knife to make a small groove and then snap them at that mark. It’ll really save the durability of your knives. Use long sawing motions instead of short ones.

Voilà, your very own pumpkin dinner rolls! Overall, I would give these a 4.5/5 for the regular ones and a 4/5 for the sugar mixture ones - not because of the taste, but for the process.

Cutting the string, soaking them in oil, plus the wrapping, tying, and unwrapping nearly drove me insane each time. I would recommend making these, especially the sugar mixture ones, with a friend. The extra hands (and jokes) will go a long way.

In the end, although they were a little awkward to make, they were definitely a fun way to get into the spirit of the season (and flex on everyone /j)!

A dishwasher that turns tupperware lids into socks that you don't own

Baked Feta Wrap

I’ll make a better pub night, with chicken and feta! - Me

Who doesn’t love a night with friends after a long week? Whether you’re meeting up with a large group or settling in with a few close friends, it’s always nice to take some time to unwind and catch up. You know what we all don’t love? Expensive prices at bars and pubs. So, why not bring the vibe of pub night home and save some cash!

Popularized on TikTok back in 2020, the original tomato-feta sauce took the app by storm and spawned a whole batch of variations. Although I can’t find it anymore, the most interesting, to me, was from a woman roasting her cheating SO while turning this tasty sauce into a wrap (disguising the elastic as olives? Oof).

So, as midterm season comes to a close (or reaches its penultimate), this recipe is sure to make some great, easy snackables to kick off either a study sesh or a night out. Or, make your friends jealous by bringing it with you to school for an eating-out-style lunch without having to spend the cash!

Cheating SOs dni.

VEGETARIAN? No problem! Check out the results section for how to make this recipe work for you!

(Adapted from Rachael Ray’s recipe and the TikTok mentioned in the intro)

Prep: 5 mins               Cook: 1h 30 mins               Overall: 1h 35 mins*

* Will take 1h 15 mins time if not allowing the sauce to fully cool.

Ingredients*:

½ cup (118 ml) olive oil

2 pints (550 g) cherry tomatoes

One 8-ounce (225 g) block feta

2 cloves garlic, finely chopped

¼ tsp. (0.5 g) red pepper flakes

4 large fresh basil leaves, chopped (or 1 handful of smaller ones)

Salt and pepper

1.5 pounds (750 g) chicken strips

1 box (142 g) baby spinach

24 medium (not mini) whole-wheat tortillas

* Makes enough for ~24 medium wraps (8-12 servings).

To start, preheat oven to 400℉ (204℃) and move the oven rack to the middle.

In a baking dish, toss the olive oil, whole cherry tomatoes, salt, and pepper until all tomatoes are coated (above-left).

Next, add the feta to the middle of the baking dish. On top of the feta, add a splash of olive oil and some pepper (above-right).

Place in the oven and bake for 30 minutes.

NOTE: I used 2 blocks of feta so I put olive oil and pepper on each block and stacked them.

While the tomatoes and feta bake, prepare the chicken.

To remove extra juices on the outside (and prevent the strips from sticking to the skillet) blot both sides of the chicken strips with a clean paper towel.

Then, sprinkle both sides with salt and pepper and lightly massage it in.

Next, heat 1 tbsp. olive oil in a non-stick skillet over medium heat until shimmering. Add chicken strips to the pan and allow to cook for 4-5 minutes a side until the inside is no longer pink and the internal temp reads 165℉ (74℃).

After cooking, remove skillet from heat and move the chicken to a plate to rest.

After 30 minutes in the oven, increase the heat to 450℉ (232℃) and bake for another 5-10 minutes or until the tomatoes and feta have browned.

Once everything has browned, remove the baking dish from the oven and add the chopped garlic and red pepper flakes. Break apart the feta block and stir so the residual heat cooks the garlic and incorporates the flavour from the red pepper flakes.

Unlike the pasta recipe, your goal here is to make sure everything is incorporated and has cooled down a little before assembling the wraps. It will take ~10 minutes to incorporate the sauce and then another ~20 minutes to cool. I recommend placing the baking dish on a wire rack to help it cool faster. If you’re in a rush, you can make the wraps with the warm sauce right after incorporating everything but it will be much harder to roll the wraps.

You’ll know the sauce is ready when you don’t see large streaks of olive oil while stirring or clinging to the sides of the baking dish.

NOTE: I recommend placing a kitchen towel or paper towel under the baking dish as you stir. I’ve made this several times now and always manage to stir a little too hard and spill some olive oil. Best to cut the spillage mess off at the pass.

TIP: Take the time when the sauce is cooling to clean the dishes created in earlier steps!

Stir in the chopped basil leaves once the sauce has cooled and everything has been incorporated.

To assemble the wraps, place a medium tortilla on a clean surface and layer a handful of spinach leaves on one side. Spoon ~1 tbsp. of sauce over the spinach and spread it out a little using the back of the spoon. Place a chicken strip over the sauce (above-left).

To wrap it up, fold the edge with the filling tightly around the chicken. Push in the corners and fold in the top and bottom edges. Continue to wrap everything tightly and fold in the corners that are created as you roll (above-right).

Overall, I would give this recipe a 5/5. Served warm or cold, the infamous sauce lends itself really well to being used in wrap form.

Although you may feel a little impatient while incorporating the sauce, the flavour is absolutely worth it (as is not just taking a bite of pure olive oil). Don’t skip the spinach either! The sauce is very rich and, although just using 1 tbsp. helps a little, the greens are really what stops it from becoming overbearing.

VEGETARIAN? The chicken inside can easily be substituted for Beyond Meat alternatives. However, if you’d like to change it up, reduce the amount of sauce used and pack the wrap with your favourite bagged salad! I’ve done this a couple times now and it’s tasted great!

this dude makes tiktoks of him reloading household objects like they’re fps weapons and they’re so fucking satisfying

Super Flaky All-Butter Pie Crust

No matter the filling you use, the backbone of any good pie is the light, buttery, melt-in-your-mouth crust. As such an important part of the pie experience, it can seem very daunting to make it yourself: you need to keep the dough cold, not overwork it, and why does every recipe want lard or shortening?!

Luckily, after much time searching, I have found the most amazing recipe combo that has all of the buttery-flakiness you expect from a pie crust with minimal effort!

In addition to wanting to learn how to make pie crust, I decided to give it a go because Heroes’ Feast calls for a lot of “sheets of pie crust” and no matter how hard I searched my grocery stores, I could never find it. So, I hope that all of you in a similar situation can use this for your pies! You’ll find that going back to store-bought will never be the same.

See below for my tips and tricks for making your own buttery, super flaky crust at home!

(This recipe is both inspired by and a modification of Katy Perry’s pie crust (here) and a food processor method I found (here))

Prep: ~5 mins               Cook time: ~1h 15 mins                   Overall: ~1h 20 mins

For the ingredients:

2 ½ cups (313 g) all-purpose flour

20 tbsp. (284 g) salted butter

½ cup (118 ml) ice-cold water

TIP: If you don’t have salted butter, use 20 tbsp. unsalted butter and add ½ tsp. + ⅛ tsp. of kosher salt.

If using salted butter, add 1 ½ cups (188 g) of flour to the food processor.

If using unsalted butter, combine 1 ½ cups (188 g) of flour and salt in a food processor and pulse to combine (4-5 pulses).

Scatter butter cubes over the flour mixture and process until dough or paste begins to form (above-left). This should take ~15 secs and there should be no uncoated flour.

Next, redistribute the flour-butter mixture in the food processor (above-right).

Add the remaining 1 cup (125 g) of flour and pulse until the flour is properly distributed and becomes crumbly. This usually takes me ~7-8 pulses.

Transfer dough to a medium-sized mixing bowl. To help keep the dough cool, I put the bowl in the fridge when I start preparing the ingredients.

Sprinkle 4 tbsp. of ice-cold water over the dough. Use a rubber spatula to press the dough pieces together until they start to form larger clumps.

To test if it’s ready, take a piece of dough and pinch it between your fingers (above-left). If it holds together, you’re good to go. If it crumbles, add 2-4 more tbsp. and keep combining.

Once the dough is ready keep the dough in the bowl or transfer it to a clean surface and work it just enough so that it forms a ball.

NOTE: I would definitely advise starting with 4 tbsp. of ice-cold water. I thought I had added enough after 2 tbsp. (directed in Katy Perry’s recipe) but the dough kept breaking when I took it out of the fridge to roll out. This isn’t as much of an issue when using 4 tbsp.

Cut your dough ball into two halves and press them into discs. Wrap each half in cling wrap and let it chill in the fridge for at least an hour or up to 2 days before rolling it out (it should feel super hard).

If you’re pre-making your dough, it can stay in the freezer for up to 3 months! Just remember to thaw it out in the fridge overnight before using.

Personally, I would rate this pie crust recipe a 5/5. As long as you take care to not let the dough get too warm, your pie crust will be as buttery, light, and flaky as can be!

The pies shown in this post are the Elven Maruths on p. 64. Get the book here!: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

dishwashing affirmations

the dishes are more scared of you than you are scared of them.

if you put on a little song you can have a dish washing party.

washing dishes is a great way to make new friends (e.g. frying pans, cups, etc.).

despite any misinformation you may see online, a fork has never bitten anyone. they are gentle, even-tempered creatures that often just want to nap.

this world is so sick and twisted. why do strawberries go out of season but my love for them doesn't

Earl Grey Cookies

“[...] a combination of shortbread and jam thumbprint cookies, made all the more interesting by the addition of tea - something different for a cookie exchange, or package them with a fancy cup and extra tea as a gift.” - ~mystery book~, p. 227

Sugar cookies are a staple of the holiday season. Whether decorated with frosting, cut into festive shapes, or sprinkled with powdered sugar, they are the go-to cookie for gifting!

When I first decided to try this version of sugar cookie, I wasn’t sure what to expect. But, I figured I’d give them a shot since it uses my favourite tea. In the end? Best. Decision. EVER! I’ve made them for myself and friends in past holiday seasons and I constantly get asked for the recipe and/or when I’ll be making more (the answer is always December, guys).

Like the Soul Cakes marking the overlap of four different holidays at the end of October, these cookies offer a twist on the traditional treats served this time of year.

Consider baking them with the Cranberry Banana Muffins to really spice up the holiday season!

EDIT: Now with extra tips!

(This recipe is an adaptation from a cookbook my grandmother has tucked away. However, I don’t have the title of the book and I can’t find her copy anymore so it’s of ~mystery origin~.)

Prep: 5 mins               Cook: 45 mins               Total: 50 mins

Ingredients*:

1 cup (227 g) butter, softened

⅔ cup (138 g) granulated sugar

1 egg

1 tsp. (5 mL) vanilla extractñ

2 ½ cups (313 g) all-purpose flour

1 tbsp. (6 g) Earl Grey tea leaves

¼ tsp. (0.5 g) kosher salt

½ cup (320 g) apricot jam or marmalade**

*Makes enough for about 3 dozen cookies.

** Be careful when selecting your brand of jam (both for these cookies and in general). Ingredients on labels are listed from greatest amount to least - so try to pick one that has apricots as the first ingredient instead of sugar!

First, preheat the oven to convection bake at 325℉ (160℃) [or 350℉ (177℃) if using a conventional oven].

Then, in a large bowl, cream together the butter and sugar until light (top-left).

Beat in the egg and vanilla (top-right).

In a separate bowl, whisk together the flour, tea, and salt.

Add the flour mixture to the butter mixture and stir until just combined.

Roll the cookies into 1 tbsp. (about 1-inch or 2.5 cm) balls and place them on two large, parchment-lined baking sheets.

TIP: To get all of the cookies a uniform size, I level off a 1 tbsp. measuring spoon with dough, then roll them.

Dip the end of a wooden spoon about ⅜ th of an inch (1 cm) in diameter into flour and make indentations in the center of each cookie.

Fill each indentation with a generous ¼ tsp. of jam or marmalade.

Convection bake in the oven for 16 - 18 minutes [or the same amount of time, rotating the pan halfway through, if using a conventional oven], or until they start to turn a light golden.

Remove from oven and let cool on wire racks.

Overall, I would give these cookies a 5/5. The mild sweetness from the earl grey mixed with the sweetness of the jam produces such a unique flavour without being overwhelming. Not to mention that snacking on them creates this holiday/Christmas-y vibe that’s hard to describe.

As mentioned in the intro, I’ve made these for my friends in the past and they’re a massive hit. Because they look so different from traditional holiday sugar cookies but fit so well with the season, they become a really unique treat to give to friends and family!