At This Point Half The Reason I Still Put Up With TiKTok Is The Insane Bakers And Cooks. I Mean LOOK

Bruschetta Grilled Cheese

You’re welcome.

Welcome to the only recipe for grilled cheese ever. 

Don’t like tomatoes? Doesn’t matter. Get lost in the sauce of basil, garlic, balsamic vinegar, and cheese.

I don’t remember who thought of this first, me or my housemate, so I’m giving us shared credit for this invention. All I know is that we were hungry, had bruschetta mix left over from the night before, and are both apparently geniuses.

Now, enough talking, onto the recipe.

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Bytopian Shepherd's Bread

This spiced bread, served in thick slices, is made from grains imbued with grated carrots and rich chunks of almond [...] If you ever find yourself in possession of the rare herb known as shiftspice, sprinkle a liberal pinch into the batter to ensure that each loaf yields an unexpected flavour. - Heroes’ Feast, p.176

Carrot cake is something that many of us have grown up with one variation or another. Whether it’s a recipe passed down from your grandmother or a slice you pick up at your local coffee shop, this staple has a place in heart and home.

The Bytopian Shepherd's Bread in Heroes’ Feast certainly lives up to the legacy of this treasured treat. Amazingly spiced and not overly sugary, it is sure to be the perfect loaf to serve at breakfast or for dessert!

As a bonus, check out the results section for a delicious quick-and-easy cream cheese icing recipe to go with this carrot cake!

See below for my notes on the results and for some helpful tips and tricks when making this yourself! Get Heroes’ Feast here: https://dnd.wizards.com/heroes-feast

Prep Time: ~20 mins Cook Time: ~1h 45min (15 mix. + 1h 15 cook + 15 cool) Overall: ~2h 05 + cool to room temp

For the ingredients:

2 cups. all-purpose flour

2 tsp. baking powder

½ tsp. baking soda

2 tsp. ground ginger

1 tsp. ground cinnamon

½ tsp. freshly ground nutmeg

1 tsp. kosher salt

½ cup currants

3 eggs

¾ cup packed light brown sugar

¼ cup unsalted butter, melted and cooled

⅓ cup buttermilk

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract

1 lb. carrots, peeled and coarsely grated (about 3 cups)

½ cup slivered or sliced almonds

* I found that a ½ cup of sliced almonds was way too many. ⅓ cup will most likely be enough.

I use the following conversions in my cooking:

1 cup all-purpose flour = 125 g

1 tsp. baking powder = 4 g

1 tsp. baking soda = 8 g

1 tsp. ground ginger = 2 g

1 tsp. ground cinnamon = 3 g

1 tsp. ground nutmeg = 2 g

1 tsp. kosher salt = 6 g

¾ cup light brown sugar = 150 g

¼ cup butter = 57 g

⅓ cup buttermilk = 80 ml

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract = 5 ml

1 lb carrots = 500 g

½ cup sliced almonds = 46 g

TIP: If you do not have access to currants, you can substitute them for yellow raisins without altering the flavour of the loaf too much.

Above is what the dry ingredients looked like after whisking them together and then stirring in the currants.

TIP: Coating fruits/nuts in a bit of flour, or mixing them into the dry ingredients, before adding them to the wet ingredients allows for an even distribution through the loaf instead of them all sinking to the bottom!

Above is what the progression of the wet ingredients looked like as they were combined.

Picture 1: whisked the eggs and light brown sugar until well combined

Picture 2: whisked in the melted butter until well combined

Picture 3: whisked the buttermilk and vanilla extract until well combined

Picture 4: Stirred in the carrots

The batter will get progressively lighter as more of the wet ingredients are added.

TIP: I would highly recommend using an electric hand mixer to whisk the ingredients together and not just a regular whisk. Although it is possible, it will take a lot more time and energy to achieve the same result!

Above is what the batter looked like when the wet and dry ingredients folded until just combined. This will be a very liquidy batter, so don’t be too alarmed.

Do not overmix the batter! The more you mix the batter, the more the gluten in the flour will develop. If too much gluten develops, you will end up with a dense, rubbery loaf.

TIP: When folding batter, you’re essentially creating a “J” motion with your spatula around the bowl. To fold, first, scrape ~⅕ of the side of the bowl with a flexible spatula. Then, move it towards the middle of the bowl like you’re “folding” the batter. Finally, rotate the mixing bowl by the amount you scraped so that you’re always folding the batter towards you. Repeat the process until everything is combined!

Above is what the batter looked like topped with almonds before and after cooking.

I found the 55 minute cook time recommended was not enough time. The batter was very wet and although it was edible after 55 minutes, there were areas that were way too undercooked for comfort. On the other hand, it was the perfect amount of time to get the almonds to a nice golden brown.

So, how to keep the loaf cooking while not burning the almonds? First, bake as directed in Heroes’ Feast: 55 minutes on 350°C, turning halfway through. Next, tent a piece of aluminum foil shiny-side in over the pan. This will stop the top of the loaf from cooking while retaining the heat needed to cook the inside. Then, leave the loaf in the oven for another 15 minutes or until a toothpick comes out clean.

TIP: To allow for easy release, cut a piece of parchment paper to fit lengthwise in the pan. This will allow you to lift the loaf out of the pan. See the pics above and below for how it looks.

Above is what the loaf looked like after removing it from the pan.

Cool the loaf as directed in Heroes’ Feast: cool the loaf pan on a wire rack for 15 minutes then remove it from the pan and allow it to cool to room temperature.

Although the cooking time in the book may have been a little bit off, only a small tweak was needed to fix it. Overall, I would give this recipe a 5/5! Everyone in my house loved this loaf and one of my housemates even said it was the best carrot cake they’d ever eaten - which I can’t say I disagree with.

This was the longest recipe so far, but like the potato leek soup, don’t be discouraged! Most of the time is hands-off baking and the taste of this cake alone is worth the time.

For best freshness results, wrap in clingfilm and store on the counter or in the fridge. Lasts up to 7 days when stored in the fridge.

BONUS: Cream cheese frosting recipe

Two of my housemates said the cake on its own was a 4.5/5 and that a cream cheese frosting would make a 5/5. So, below is a delicious yet easy-to-make cream cheese frosting to go with it!

It’s a great base and the page provides details on how to alter it so it can be used with other baked goods! Find out more here: https://sallysbakingaddiction.com/favorite-cream-cheese-frosting/

Ingredients for frosting:

8 ounces full-fat block cream cheese, softened to room temperature

½ cup unsalted butter, softened to room temperature

3 cups confectioners’ sugar, plus an extra ¼ cup if needed

1 teaspoon pure vanilla extract

⅛ tsp. salt

The following conversions are provided for the ingredients:

8 ounces full-fat block cream cheese = 224 g

½ unsalted butter = 115 g

3 cups confectioners’ sugar = 360 g

1 tsp. pure vanilla extract = 5 ml

⅛ tsp. kosher salt = 1 g

NOTE: Be sure you are using a full-fat block of cream cheese! Not low-fat or from a tub. As the recipe points out:

The #1 reason bakers end up with runny frosting is because they’re accidentally using cream cheese spread instead of a block.

If using from a tub, there’s a good chance your frosting will be thin and runny!

Above is what the frosting looked like after creaming together the cream cheese and butter and then beating in the confectioners’ sugar and vanilla.

If you want your frosting a little thicker, beat in the extra ¼ cup of confectioners’ sugar.

For best freshness results, store in a tupperware in the fridge. Lasts up to 5 days in the fridge.

thanks for following me but you’re gonna regret it later

the bravery of a girl who has to decide what is for dinner and then cook it and then wash dishes every day forever and ever.

They really should teach people how to cook in school.

She balled so hard they banned her from ballin.

vanilla extract is perhaps the fastest a meme has become unfunny to me. it was funny the first time i saw it (everyone choosing vanilla extract in the "let's bake a cake" poll), and then it was funny when i saw it in an unrelated poll. and after that it was never funny ever again

The problem with putting s’mores as a technical challenge is that baking your own s’more from scratch defeats the purpose of s’mores which is of course to spend ten minutes trying to get a crappy store bought marshmallow the perfect golden brown color before going “fuck it” and letting it catch fire then frantically putting it on a graham cracker with hershey’s chocolate before it falls off of the stick you found on the ground

req’d by @qolden-crowns

hm. babygulrot.

text: This next baby carrot will fix me