Hey Google, Remind Me To Love Myself Every Day.

Normality

One of my best friends called me odd, whimsical, even eccentric at times. He asked me, not to take it the wrong way because I'm special hence I'm allowed to be. I was so flattered but it made me think.

I used to try so hard to be normal. I tried to be like everyone else and failed miserably. Then the coping mechanisms kicked in and I renounced every social convention - everything normal. Don't get me wrong, I never tried to be myself, but I was as different as possible. Looking back now, I was the kangaroo from the kangaroo chronicles and it was fun, it still is.

Schools of therapists tried to teach me the basic skills needed to live a happy life but not my happy life. In their arrogance they tried to mould me into one of those people I detest so so so much. Reflecting on it, it's exactly what I do with my clients. I hate it. What if they just want to be their own version of the kangaroo? Is that who I want to be? The guy living his dreams, travelling the world, trying to take as big a dump on the man and society as possible, but telling other people to adapt? And if so, how much is the right amount?

But the most pressing question is: Did I turn into one of them? I used to live by a rule, I'm not sure who said it, but knowing me, some philosopher. If you find yourself on the side of the majority, stop and reflect. I argue within the system. Just like politicians unable to see, there are different ways of doing things. Ways outside of a capitalistic oppressive society. Instead of fighting me/us on changing the world, I was lulled into their world. I have a decent job, make okay money, study in my free time and shut the fuck up because I'm fed, stressed and all in all happy.

What am I to conclude now? What can I do? What will I do? It remains to be seen. I'll start by being myself some more, even if that means running headfirst into some walls. But most importantly I'll keep using the train. It's just the best way to get around whilst being able to think.

Kung-Tse

If the offspring of a plough ox has a reddish coat and perfectly formed horns, even if we won't use it in a sacrifice, would the spirit of the mountains and rivers refuse to accept it?

Verlassen sind wir doch wie verirrte Kinder im Walde. Wenn Du vor mir stehst und mich ansiehst, was weißt Du von den Schmerzen, die in mir sind und was weiß ich von den Deinen. Und wenn ich mich vor Dir niederwerfen würde und weinen und erzählen, was wüßtest Du von mir mehr als von der Hölle, wenn Dir jemand erzählt, sie ist heiß und fürchterlich. Schon darum sollten wir Menschen vor einander so ehrfürchtig, so nachdenklich, so liebend stehn wie vor dem Eingang zur Hölle

Letter from Franz Kafka to Oskar Pollak

For only the good doubt their own goodness, which is what makes them good in the first place. The bad know they are good, but the good know nothing. They spend their lives forgiving others, but they can’t forgive themselves.

Paul Auster, Man in the Dark (via quotespile)

Do your worst, tear it out and rip me apart. I forgive others quite fast.

Happiness.

Sitting at work asking yourself, why you even get paid for this. One of my clients brought me free sushi he got from a neighbour volunteering for a foodsharing service. :D

Almost forgot to post about the Subscription Cover i did for Over The Garden Wall # 19 ! Heeho-

I may be dying.

Laughing way too hard at this.

Prophet like it’s hot

:)

Dans une année chaque moment compte; Alors je vous souhaite. 1 an d'allégresse. 12 mois de plaisir. 52 semaines de bien-être. 365 jours de chance. 8784 heures de succés. 527040 minutes d'amour. pour un total de 31602400 secondes de Bonheur. Bonne Année à tous 

<3

I wish we’d gotten along better. I wish it would’ve been a little longer, but it seems 30 years is all it took to break me. We had an immensely exquisite time, didn’t we? I’ll always cherish it from the very bottom of my wicked heart. Adieu villainous world. ~