What Is It About These Photos That Makes My Heart Burst With Nostalgia And Longing For A Familiar Place

Compilation of deleted scenes from tdr (from now-deleted tweets from rfk)

(full credit to @rinezhabot on twitter for the original tweet and gathering the screenshots!)

So my family has a Gay Pirate Plate.

Stay with me.

We do not know how the hell the Gay Pirate Plate was first acquired. This being a point of contention is actually pretty plot-relevant; the saga of the Gay Pirate Plate began with my grandmother and her sister, who, for some ungodly reason, both BADLY wanted the Gay Pirate Plate and believed it to be rightfully theirs.

I should back up, firstly, to establish: The Gay Pirate Plate is the cheapest, tackiest, ugliest plate in existence.

It is in no way a collector’s item. It is physically impossible for it to complement anyone’s decor, because the colors in it are garish. It’s just a ceramic plate with a gay pirate painted on it, and the painting is, this cannot be emphasized enough, extremely bad.

(How do we know the pirate is gay if he’s just posing on a plate? Listen. Fully 100% to stereotype, but he is. He is gay. There’s an energy. That pirate is a flaming homosexual. That pirate has sex with men and does it frequently. That pirate is fucking gay, all right, he just is.)

Anyway. The point is that this is an extremely cheap and ugly plate with a poorly-executed painting of pirate on it who is like a nine on the Kinsey scale.

My grandmother and her sister fought a blood feud over this plate for their entire lives. It would be on the wall in my grandma’s house, and then her sister would visit, and then it would be gone. She’d visit her sister and the plate would be on the wall and her sister would pretend it had always been there. She would steal it back, hang it up, and, when her sister visited, pretend it had always been there. This continued for DECADES.

When the sister died, the Gay Pirate Plate lived triumphantly in my grandmother’s house. And then my grandmother died. And my aunt, who had lived with her and been her carer throughout her life, rightfully inherited their house.

We visit my aunt after the funeral and stay with her for a week or two.

Me, my sister, and our dad. Her brother.

The three of us look at each other. We don’t say anything. We studiously avoid making eye contact with the Gay Pirate Plate mounted proud and ugly on the wall. We notice one another studiously avoiding looking at it. We notice one another noticing. We say nothing. We come to a silent consensus. We pack up to leave. We get in the van. Our aunt comes out to say goodbye. I loudly announce I need to use the restroom before we leave. She obviously stays outside to continue talking to my dad.

I take down the Gay Pirate Plate, stuff it under my oversized sweatshirt, go outside, and get in the van. She happily waves goodbye as we drive off.

Two days later my dad gets a phone call that opens with hysterical laughter and “You FUCKING ASSHOLE did you seriously STEAL THE PLATE–”

Anyway. The gay pirate plate lives in my dad’s house currently.

But he’s trying to get me and my sister out to visit him. And plate mounts are cheap.

The Zen of La Llorona

by Deborah Miranda

La Llorona rises over my town– a solitary curve, sharpened by someone else’s fury. I read a small gray Zen book Everyone loses everything. Lovers, families, friends, possessions, egos– we keep nothing of this world, not even our bodies. It’s as if you’d lost your favorite teacup, you see. No amount of searching, weeping or wailing will bring it back. If you want a drink, use a different container. Write a long series of passionate poems about your cup. Hell, write a whole book. Obsession is the mother of creation. But as you compose, sip from the new mug. It will become your mug of choice. You’ll lose that one, too. And so on. In theory, anyway, we outlast dispossession: Ceramic mugs, hearts, continents. Outside, La Llorona’s knife slices the indigo heart of silence. Nonsense, she howls. There’s always something left to lose.

not to be political but why on earth would you choose your wedding venue to be a plantation when you can celebrate your matrimony around beautiful huge bones of ancient creatures

Post Canon Fics

⚠️Spoilers ahead⚠️

your faith walks on broken glass by agnes_writes (Rin/Nezha, T, 1k)

Nezha ponders the Hesperians' idea of Heaven and Hell, and his mind only conjures up her name.

necropolis by Anonymous (Rin/Nezha, T, 318)

There was probably love there, but it didn't really matter.

i'd meet you where the spirit meets the bones (in a faith-forgotten land) by agnes_writes (Rin & Altan, M, 7.3k)

When she dies, Rin is faced with the one person she'd wished she'd never see again.

But when the dust settles, she finds that Altan Trengsin may have the answers she's searching for.

a shame, you seemed an honest man by toddxnderson (Rin/Nezha, G, 2.6k)

ashes are not the strongest of foundations, but they will do.

or: nezha, after.

some things were tend to be forgotten due to old age by chiru_trash (Rin/Nezha, T, 1k)

Nezha after The Burning God, need I explain more?

i'd end up too hungry to sleep by tellmeyoursecrets (Rin/Nezha, M, 505)

years after the events of the burning god, nezha is married to a hesperian bride.

years later, she ponders.

Beside you always by muchswag (Rin/Nezha, N/A, 162)

After perhaps a year or two after Rin's death, Nezha was married. And as the years passed, he missed her more than ever. But perhaps she was right beside him all of this time.

first love / late spring (my heart seems to burst) by isola13 (Rin/Nezha, T, 4.6k)

First love is supposed to be sweet, innocent, and hopeful. When it blossoms on late spring however, harsher realities render every piece of it into shreds, as it falls and withers and dies.

It’ll always be you by Runin_reads (Rin/Nezha, G, 544)

Nezha tells his daughter about his first love.

Small by UnapologeticallyMeatwad (Rin&Kitay, T, 2.7k) *incomplete*

Rin wakes up one year later, but doesn't know why she's still alive.

nothing new by sagittariusmoon (Rin/Nezha, G, 414)

"How can a person know everything at 18, but nothing at 22?

Will you still want me, when I’m nothing new?"

Nezha turns 22, and then he thinks about Rin, like he always does.

these characters all need therapy so I gave it to them by chenkitays (G, 6.6k)

Rin, Nezha, Kitay, Vaisra and Jiang attend a group therapy session led by one (1) exhausted Strategy master. spoilers for the entire trilogy.

Break the Cycle by queenkatharine (M, 10.2k)

Every time she’d thought about the Federation and what she’d done, she told herself that she’d do it again if she had the chance. She insisted upon it until her dying day.

This time would be different.

Or, what if Rin did get the chance to do it all over again and made different decisions? M rating for themes related to war.

i want him (but we're not right) by tellmeyoursecrets (Rin/Nezha, N/A, 1.1k)

She looks him in the eyes. “I hated you for what you did. With all my heart.”

“I know.”

“I still missed you. I still wanted you to—Gods.”

The truth is always ugly. Some people will make it out as some golden thread, ramrod straight and unquestionable in its existence, but it’s not. When what you fought for becomes history, sometimes it forgets that the winner was the one who had lost the most. Survival of the body is not always survival of the mind. There is always, always, a cost larger than what is said in the books.

they hold onto things. they let things go. by sourpistachios (T, 1.5k)

In the aftermath, Nezha looks at his hands.

haunted by the look in my eyes by isola13 (Rin/Nezha, T, 7.1k)

that would've loved you for a lifetime

When Rin haunts him, Nezha screams, shouts, curses, and begs.

When Rin haunts him, Nezha screams, shouts, curses, and begs her to leave.

When Rin haunts him, Nezha screams, shouts, curses, and begs her to stay.

if I'm dead to you by isola13 (Rin/Nezha, G, 1.8k)

why are you at the wake?

The first year is the hardest.

Rin simply doesn't know how to be dead.

When I was young and dreamed of glory by Knightowl019 (Nezha/Original Character, T, 12.4k)

After the aftermath of Fang Runin's death, Nezha kept his word. He had to fix the country that barely existed.

Nezha's life changed into something that was different from before. Even when the ghosts of the dead haunted him, he knew he had to make things right. But will he ever find peace? Will he manage to unite the country from the rift the Republic created? Will the people ever accept Nezha as their leader or will it spark another rebellion?

reminiscence by paldogangsaan (Rin/Nezha, Nezha&Kitay, T, 1.4k)

It didn’t feel fair that Rin and Kitay could leave this world together whilst Nezha was forced to live, to survive them both.

the dreaming faith by byeoleil (Rin/Nezha, Nezha&Kitay, T, 6.2k) *incomplete*

Something is wrong with the Pantheon and it is, of course, Yin Nezha's fault. He accepts mysterious psychedelic drugs from a very cryptic Chaghan Suren with no instructions other than "lol you suck."

In his slumber, Nezha sees them. A short collection of Nezha's dreams starring Rin, Mingzha, Venka, Kitay, and more.

peace by isola13 (Rin/Nezha, G, 1k)

When Nezha dies, Rin is waiting for him.

Queen of Ashes by CyclonicJet (M, 3.1k)

“Fire is passion. It knows neither friend nor foe. In its wake, it leaves no victory. No conquest. No people. Only ashes.”

Rin reflects on her life, and considers what her legacy will be, and what she must do to ensure that legacy.

Or “A brief literary analysis of what Nikara might have looked like had Rin won, as viewed from her own perspective and memories, some thirty years after the end of The Burning God.”

to drown in your ashes by chenkitays (Rin/Nezha, G, 2k)

His Rin, whose laugh was louder and more explosive than her rage, whose eyes were sadder and darker than the world she left behind, whose smile was brighter than the hottest flames she could conjure.

idk its just a post tbg fix-it you already know the drill

there's a hollow in this house by tidesong (Rin/Nezha, T, 7k)

What Nezha has, it’s an absence. He was raised next to the river, in a city that knew the ebb and flow of the tide. The flood would come in the summer, a wet and hungry thing, swallowing shorelines before breaching the city. He feels the same way now, when the water had receded suddenly, violently; left only the traces of what once was. Nezha did not need the Dragon to teach him that lesson—he’d lived it all on his own.

Water, he says to Kitay, doesn’t know how to let go. It only drowns.

—

This time, the living haunt the dead.

you'd come back to me by isola13 (Rin/Nezha, T, 13.8k)

“I knew you’d linger like a tattoo kiss, I knew you’d haunt all of my what ifs, the smell of smoke would hang around this long”

A burden of a country is one that a single person shouldn’t handle.

But Nezha takes it. Until one day, he breaks.

The Unwinding Clock of Fate by Secret_Keeper_AO3 (M, 6.6k) *incomplete*

5 years after the end of The Burning God, Yin Nezha, president of the Republic of Nikan, has saved Nikan-and its people from starvation and war and further atrocity by giving Hesparia the corpse of Fang Runin. Yin Nezha has had to throw open Nikan's gates to Hesparia in order to continue its survival, and Hesparian assimilation, racism, segregation, and discrimination has already rooted itself deep into the continent. But Nezha wants to put a stop to it, and as the Dragon grows restless and the bracelets on his hands tighten the Dragon's only access to the world, it only increases the want to rise, to claim, to sink, to drown.

Tomorrow is Brighter Than Yesterday by queenkatharine (T, 3.7k)

Understanding strikes Nezha. Here, now, after everything they’d gone through and with Rin buried next to Kitay on Speer, Nezha finally understands.

-

In which Kesegi survives the war and he sheds some light on a few things.

take what you want by chenkitays (Rin&Kitay, G, 1.4k)

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BURNING GOD

Chapter 34 of the Burning God rewritten from Kitay's point of view. Why did I do this? I physically don't know but I was in the mood to cause pain today

your smile, my ghost, i fell to my knees by agnes_writes (Rin/Nezha, T, 3.1k)

“Nezha couldn’t register the choking gurgles in her throat, the glassy panic in her eyes, or the warmth of her blood as it spilled down his hands. He couldn’t, or he would shatter.”

And so he did.

Tears of the Phoenix by CyclonicJet (M, 1.7k)

Nezha has succeeded in destroying the Gray Towers. He has waged his war against the Hesperian faith, against the maker itself, and won. And now he must face one final challenge. The final demon controlling him. The final shadow still lying thick over Nikara. Fang Runin is dead. But her spirit...her spirit still burns.

anywhere you go by chenkitays (Rin/Nezha, G, 3.6k)

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BURNING GOD

"She would tell Pipaji and Dulin that they had done well. She would tell Suni, Baji and Ramsa that she was sorry. She would tell Altan that he was right. She would tell Master Jiang thank you." (p534 of TBG)

Rin visits her dead loved ones, and tries to make sense of the afterlife with her friends.

sunset by chenkitays (Rin&Kitay, G, 931)

MAJOR SPOILERS FOR THE BURNING GOD

Rin and Kitay meet and talk in the afterlife. that's it but I wrote this because im still in pain even though it's been 3 months. the pain will never stop.

hoax by moonlightjjk (Rin/Nezha, G, 1.7k)

forty years after nezha becomes the ruler of nikara, an old friend visits him.

if i'm on fire, you'll be made of ashes too by sagittariusmoon (Rin/Nezha, G, 1.7k)

While they wait, they try to make sense of each other and a life of no good choices.

evermore by isola13 (Rin/Nezha, T, 1.1k)

Nezha lives on. Rin's ghost haunts him.

Reunion by peachtofu (Rin/Nezha, G, 1k)

THE BURNING GOD SPOILERS. The story takes place a decade after the ending of The Burning God.

Fire and water, though elements from the same earth, were never meant to be. For one to survive, it must extinguish the other.

aim for my heart (go for blood) by ssukis (Rin/Nezha, T, 6.9k)

Nezha finds that it is impossible to let go after finding Rin again.

After the Storm by toocleverfox (Rin/Nehza, T, 1.4k)

MAJOR THE BURNING GOD SPOILERS

Nezha goes to find Chaghan after the events of The Burning God.

the finish line by tidesong (Rin/Nezha, G, 2.9k)

So this was how it felt to be burned by the sun.

-

Nezha is haunted by someone who's not very good at staying away.

The Wailing Prince by yinsnezha (Rin/Nezha, G, 1k)

Nezha likes to talk to the stars when he can’t sleep.

The Irony of Dark Academia and It’s ‘Bible’

The thing I find comically ironic is that The Secret History, dark academia’s so called ‘bible’, is, to me, a cautionary tale against the whole idea of embodying the aesthetic. If you haven’t read it, here’s your spoiler alert.

To me, the characters’ fatal flaw is that they’re so immersed in manifesting the aesthetic, so totally absorbed in living in this particular way that they’ve romanticised (unhealthy bits and all), they literally, albeit accidentally, kill a man. And instead of facing the consequences of their actions (brought about by their obsession with their lifestyle of mystery and studying greek by candle light), they go to extraordinary lengths to save their skin. which isn’t so inexplicable; they killed someone by accident and they really really don’t want to go to jail for it.

For the record, I’m not hating on this aesthetic, as I know a lot of people genuinely enjoy it and find an important community in it. I just personally don’t think it’s entirely healthy to replace an aesthetic with your personality, and i find it ironic that Donna Tart literally said,  romanticising life and replacing your rose coloured idea of the world with what it’s really like is dangerous’, and then the internet did exactly that, with her book as the catalyst for it.

friends

Crack Fics

these characters all need therapy so I gave it to them by chenkitays (G, 7.4k)

Rin, Nezha, Kitay, Vaisra and Jiang attend a group therapy session led by one (1) exhausted Strategy master. spoilers for the entire trilogy. tags updated with new chapters

You're Just As Sane As I Am by sloth_slushy (G, 2.8k)

Crack fic written at 3 am, so far featuring drunk!Dumbledore among other Hogwarts shenanigans. Read at your own risk.

and He said, "love thy ducks." —Ephesians 3:20 by sloth_slushy (G, 731)

Rin and Kitay walked up to a lemonade stand and they said to the people, running the stand, "Hey!" (Bum bum bum) "Got any grapes?" Nezha and Venka said, "No, we just sell lemonade. But it's cold and it's fresh and it's all home-made. Can I get you a glass?"

Escapé by sloth_slushy (Chaghan/Altan, G, 1.2k)

The Poppy War cast decide to go to an escape room. Shenanigans ensue.

The poppy war and online classes by nobeliumoxygenoxygen (Rin&Kitay, G, 2.5k)

In which lockdown is announced during the first years' four-day Summer Festival break and classes move online. For Rin and Kitay, that means quarantining together at his estate. Also, Rin and the many times she wants to kill someone. -- (some silly headcanons about the Sinegard first years and their lovely experiences with online classes)