Heiji: Wow Mizu Really Hates Us, Fowler. Fowler: Maybe He's Homophobic. Heiji: But We're Not Gay, Fowler.

Me: *blushing furiously at my phone*

My mom: oh that's a cute guy, you have a crush on him?

Me: *sweats in trans and asexual* yes certainly, I definitely find this man attractive. Absolutely nothing else is happening here. (It's a dude in an outfit I want and I'm probably jealous of his shoulders)

Ford: This trip to the Vatican City has been quite fruitful, though still no sign of the Ionza. I wonder if more written accounts exist that I’ve missed? Overall, an enjoyable trip!

Stanley, wearing the papal tiara and holding an empty bag of weed: WE NEED TO LEAVE RIGHT FUCKING NOW

Din Djarin is insane. this guy takes his magic 50 year old baby to fifth grade fight club like “my baby wants to fight” and this 11 yr old kid goes uhhhhh dude im not gonna fight a baby he's the size of a rotisserie chicken and Din is like ohhhh ho ho, I just decided my baby's gonna kick your ass extra hard now. and then the baby does a double somersault and completely annihilates him at paintball. funniest shit I've ever seen

Random goon: Hey boss, were you the one to pick that name as an alias? And why this one?

Red Hood : I used to have another name, before... A long time ago. But that person is dead now. I get to choose for myself now, they can't take that from me. I won't let them.

Goon: Huh.

***

Random Goon: Say boss, why do you never take off your shirt in front of us?

Red Hood: Well uh, I actually have that really fucked scar on my chest and I'm not comfortable with...

Random Goon: Don't worry boss, we get it, you don't have to explain yourself to us.

***

Red Hood, high on some toxin: God, I wish my family...

Random Goon (on boss-sitting duty): why not try reaching out to them?

Red Hood: They would never accept me as I am now... They wouldn't agree with my so-called "life choices". Besides, they don't miss me, they miss the person they think I used to be... I wasn't even a man when I last saw them.

Random Goon: Damn boss, that sucks.

***

And then the goons throw the Red Hood a party on trans visibility day and Jason is so confused he straight up cries.

Loving the theme of books with unbury your gays trope where the characters start off dead and then come back to life through the power of gay

shout out to all the bitches NOT having gay sex this pride month

Jason Todd coming back to life after 17 years of being used for Bruce’s and to a lesser extent, Dick’s man pain and then immediately proceeding to harass the shit out of them the second he’s back will never not be funny to me I’m so sorry. I feel like we need more examples of this in media. Action movie sequel where the Idolized Dead Wife comes back and is like “actually I was planning on filing for divorce. And I’m fucking your brother”

I just woke up and somehow the only thought in my head was Jason Todd as an Etsy witch but he only sells ‘violent spells’ and instead of doing spell work he just personally goes out and beats the shit out of whoever you choose

Ruby's mother, 15 years old, just given birth, deciding what to wear:

I’m coping <2