This is pain on another level. Trying to recover from this takes a long while since its unlearning the pain and relearning that it was them all along and not you the whole time!
searching for comfort in character’s only to find the traumatic occurrence being fetishized and sexualized.
im sorry but theirs a difference between the not implied consent and fully writing degrading and demoralizing smut about rape, grooming, and molestation.
pls find a therapist if you think it’s okay to write that shit, it’s not a kink. being treated ruff and unspoken consent is different than writing about rape.
anyways had to get that off my chest...
glimpse of us "cause sometimes when i look in her eyes that's where I find a glimpse of us" but its mikasa looking into jeans eyes at their wedding and imagining he was eren for a second
the saddest part is my mom suffered a toxic, lonely, and dehumanizing upbringing... but she doesn't understand that her trauma doesn't invalidate my trauma, it doesn't make the emotional and physical abuse she puts us through valid or okay.
i confronted her about all the arguments we've had over the years... she excused it by her injuries, and when i pointed out that this was happening prior to her injuries she said stress... it was stress, she was stressed out and that it was okay since she was stressed. she always calls it a breaking point.
i love her so much, but she scares me, and hurts me and herself.
i am afraid that ill turn into her when im older... i never want to reach a "breaking point". i never want to be like her... i understand she is a single mother, but still.
Alfred Kubin ~ Crucified Snake Man, mixed media drawing, 1899.
BEFORE AN EXPEDITION — ATTACK ON TITAN.
• includes eren jaeger, armin arlert, and jean kirstein.
eren plops himself down at your feet, resting his arms on the tops of his knees as he silently offers his hair tie over his shoulder. well you do it better—that’s what he insists every time you tell him to tame that own damn mane of his—but you still fall victim every time. your fingers rake through his locks, gathering them at the back of his head.
“if i see a black flare, i’m coming straight to you. i’ll kill those abnormal bastards,” he blurts out. you loop his hair through one last time, letting the elastic smack against his head as you let go. he ignores your futile pleas of don’t do that and you can’t break the formation, rising to his feet and looming over you with hands on his hips.
he reaches for the hood of your cape, pulling it down over your face and playfully pushing your head back. he wants to tell you that you’re being stupid—wants to scream at the top of his lungs that he doesn’t care about that damn formation, he only cares about you.
you pull the fabric off with a huff, turning to face eren who now sits right beside you. he’s staring, an intense gaze that makes the heat rise to your cheeks. he runs a gentle hand along your jawline, taking in your features as if it’s the last time he’ll ever have the chance to do so.
“do you realize how important you are to me?”
armin shuffles through the crowd of scouts with little sorries and excuse me’s falling from his lips. his eyes scan through the sea of black uniforms—locking onto the familiar figure that is you—and suddenly he’s shoving the rest of his way over.
“hey, don’t forget this,” he urges, holding up a ball of green fabric in his left hand. it’s his cape—yes, his. he was the one who suggested switching them, even if they are the exact same. the way he sees it—if by some god forbidden chance he were to not make it back alive—this was the closest he could get to dying in your arms. so with one swift movement, he wraps the garment around your shoulders and fastens the button in front.
“perfect,” he says, running his hands down your arms and grabbing onto one of your hands. he gestures towards the stables with his other, a sweet little after you falling from his lips as he follows closely behind. he rests a gentle hand on your lower back as you clamber onto your horse, straining to lace his fingers with yours once you settle into the saddle.
he’s so incredibly bothered by the fact that he has a different objective than you. he hopes that one of these days you’ll hop down from your horse and say screw humanity, i’m not leaving you—but that only happens inside his selfish fantasies. so armin just holds on, for as long as he can before he’s forced to say goodbye.
“be careful out there, i need you to come back.”
jean kneels before you, angrily fiddling with one of the straps that wrap around your thighs. he’s mumbling to himself—something along the lines of come on, work with me dammit! yeah, he’s a little on edge, at no fault of your own of course.
“how does it feel? tight enough?” he tugs gently on the fabric, looking up at you for confirmation. a simple nod of your head lures him to his feet, and his features soften almost instantaneously as he grabs your hand. he brings it high above your head, forcing you onto your tiptoes as he twirls you around—a little tradition he’s adopted ever since becoming so hellbent on making sure all your gear is up to his standard.
“looks good to me,” he says, smile growing wider as you mimic his movements by holding his own hand as high as you can reach. he never thought he’d be doing this—especially with that pair of turquoise eyes searing into the back of his skull, but that look on your face, it was pure happiness—and god was it ever beautiful. so now, he spins for you every time, not an ounce of grace in his movements—but charming nonetheless.
you’re brought back to earth by the sound of the commander’s voice, a familiar heaviness greeting you both. he pulls you in for one last hug, holding onto you a little tighter than the previous time.
“hey, promise me that wasn’t the last time we get to do that.”
A rant about Eren in the last chapter.
❗️Obviously there’s going to be spoilers.
Since I only have one friend that keeps up with aot manga who didn’t like the ending, I rant here.
Personally I loved the ending.
I think the peaceful nature of it was perfect. The chapter felt like a sigh of relief after a whole series about fighting and stress and worrying for their lives.
People are confused or angry about the fact that Eren turned “weak” and “his character completely changed” during the part he broke down over Mikasa and I just want to express how I viewed it.
First of all Eren’s “tough/cool/badass” version that we see after the time skip isn’t truly Eren. That’s not his personality that we all know. You can even see in the people making “what would the aot cast do if...” jokes on tiktok when they make two Eren’s, S1-3 Eren and S4 Eren. We know exactly what the real Eren is like from right up until season 4. He was impulsive, loud, angry, at times whiny and he never hid any of his emotions. But he was also passionate and we saw how much he cared for his friends and his goals.
Season 4 Eren was a complete personality flip, not because he grew in that direction but because he knew his future and what he had to do to carry out his goal. He had to push everyone away and shut off all of his emotions or else he wouldn’t have been able to do it. Because of this, this version of Eren didn’t even feel human, let alone like the Eren we knew.
Then Eren had to say his goodbyes and explain his plan to all his friends. This is where we start at the beginning of 139. For the first time in ages it feels like Eren is back, and he is heartbroken and exhausted. We even see Armin realising the extreme burden Eren had to carry “all alone.”
Eren is a 19 year old who’s childhood was stolen from him by the cruel world he lived in. He immediately became a soldier and never even got the chance to properly mature in his teenage years because he had so much responsibilities that were so much bigger than him. He had to deal with so much pain anyway even before he unlocked all the memories, and he even says himself that his thoughts became “incoherent.”
He is literally on the verge of a mental breakdown and when Armin brings up Mikasa, the person he loves most in the whole world and possibly would’ve ran away with if she told him she loved him, he finally snaps and shows what he’s really thinking.
Eren doesn’t want to die. Eren doesn’t want Mikasa to move on because all he wants is to live on with her. He hasn’t been able to live any sort of life his own way because he had responsibilities put on him since the day he was born.
Of course he was going to start whining about her. He’s human. Humans have selfish wants and he just wants this one thing he can never get. He sounds immature when he says it because he is immature. That whole part of their conversation honestly brings a smile to my face because of the childish nature of it.
He literally gave up his life and people are complaining because he whined a little bit to his best friend because he couldn’t be with the girl he loved. He is not “weak”, a “simp”, an “incel” or a “pussy” for this. He’s normal.
Eren Jaeger is still the best written character in AOT, and the fact we see his emotions just furthers that point for me.
Ending note: My apologies I’m not good at writing and this was not written to attack people who disliked the ending, everyone is entitled to their opinion. The only thing I will not accept is either side attacking people who don’t have the same opinions as them or attacking Hajime Isayama for how he ended his own story when he knows the characters the best.
more Dolce and Gabbana Heels. here’s this butterfly inspired one... gives me fantasy novel vibes. link –> https://www.dolcegabbana.com/en/women/shoes/sandals-and-wedges/satin-sandal-with-embroidery-black-CR0525AS41680999.html
someone please drop sum english to bulgarian learning sources!
im in dire need....
basically, i read fanfics and vent on here ♤ i rant abt aot too ☆ eremika
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