It’s The Part Where I Have To Let My Older Brother Leave This House... Like Ive Never Been Away From

"So I pray to hands

And I pray to needs

And I pray to blades of grass

To find forgiveness in the weeds

But as for health

I just never did believe

And so I never prayed myself

Except to those that prayed for me"

Vine Leaf Shoes by Nicholas Kirkwood

the worst part is i can’t even cry without being ridiculed by my mother...

i hate that im not allowed my own feelings...

i hate how she makes me feel guilty for protecting my brother

i hate how she’s cold and hot...

somebody kill me now...

flips the fishbowl like an hourglass

oh whoops wrong acct... I’ll be reposting this on @takeshikovacsswife

Regulus’ home | A Regulus Alternate Canon Imagine

Summary: Regulus finds a home in Sirius.

A small flash of light sprinted across the sky, a sign of Zeus’ arrival, an omen of weather to come, a gift of rain. A blessing. If Regulus was being honest he both loathed and loved muggy weather. It was to similar to him to be liked, but just similar enough to be called “home” of sorts.

The gray sky was suffocating, and the rain freeing and cleansing.

The gloomy boy currently sat on a train, a small suitcase and a bag accompanying him. It’d been quite some time since he’d been anywhere other than the House of Black, or Hogwarts, he felt thrilled. And terrified. Terrified of the destination that awaited him.

He only hoped that Sirius’ offer still stood, that after everything Sirius would accept him- him and his mistakes. That maybe even he would hug him, and whisper naive lies to him, that everything would be okay.

Outside the window the scenery was darkening by the minute, the air filled with electricity. The sky crying, more honest and self-aware then Regulus could ever be.

Soon the train started to slow and before long home was near.

While Sirius’ home may be the Potter’s and their lovely home, Regulus found his home to be where his dear brother was.

Just one more stop, and Regulus would reunite with his long awaited home.

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A/N: Idk what this is, I’m only posting it cause Tumblr has deleted all my other works soo...

this family makes me want to murder people

searching for comfort in character’s only to find the traumatic occurrence being fetishized and sexualized.

TW: Talk of rape, grooming, molestation and non-consent ahead!

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im sorry but theirs a difference between the not implied consent and fully writing degrading and demoralizing smut about rape, grooming, and molestation.

pls find a therapist if you think it’s okay to write that shit, it’s not a kink. being treated ruff and unspoken consent is different than writing about rape.

anyways had to get that off my chest...

the saddest part is my mom suffered a toxic, lonely, and dehumanizing upbringing... but she doesn't understand that her trauma doesn't invalidate my trauma, it doesn't make the emotional and physical abuse she puts us through valid or okay.

i confronted her about all the arguments we've had over the years... she excused it by her injuries, and when i pointed out that this was happening prior to her injuries she said stress... it was stress, she was stressed out and that it was okay since she was stressed. she always calls it a breaking point.

i love her so much, but she scares me, and hurts me and herself.

i am afraid that ill turn into her when im older... i never want to reach a "breaking point". i never want to be like her... i understand she is a single mother, but still.

Why did Ymir choose Mikasa?

"Okay, maybe im just dumb and didnt get something but couldn't ymir see the end result of EM's suffering via paths, so she already knew the lesson mikasa learnt anyway?? bc it means that this all was just completely unnecessary and eren could live... is it really a plot hole or did i not understand something?"

I've received a question and would like to answer it in a separate post rather than an ask. I have been keeping this draft since ch.137, but never really could post it, because I didn't think that my points will be concrete enough. But thanks to ch.138 and 139, I finally can touch this topic again!

So...starting with Ymir. We all know that she was a slave in king Fritz’s tribe. Someday she freed pigs and the king “freed” her, but hunters ended up chasing her in the forest. She was hurt and somehow fell into a pound inside of the tree then our infamous hallucigenia attached to her spine, and she became the first titan shifter. After king discovered her power, he used her to enlarger his tribe and eventually, the tribe became an empire. King Fritz let her have his kids and continued to exploit her.

At the very end she died in pain, because she wanted to protect the king. This moment for some people was confusing, but we all supposed that it was out of plain obedience. Nothing more and nothing less.

Before, in ch.137 Zeke said that Ymir has been obeying Karl Fritz for 2000 years, but what was the reason? Zeke said that Ymir wanted to feel connected, because she was attached to the world she left behind. But...Zeke couldn't understand her. He spent a lot of time in paths trying to find the reason why she is so obedient, but still couldn't find the exact reason besides the attachment. He also mentioned that Eren could understand her, while he didn't.

As Eren said in ch.139 during his talk with Armin...Ymir was in "love" with the king. He'd burned her hometown, killed her parents, cut off her tongue, let her wander in the forest, exploited her powers, let her breed children and at the end let her daughters eat their mother's flesh...But she still "loved" him and that's why paths were created. Ymir didn't want to die nor live. She wanted to feel and see love, and be a part of it, but she couldn't get it when she was alive.

Then...how did Ymir still love him? It was the Stockholm syndrome. She simply felt attached to Karl Fritz, because he gave her a relatively better life. Yes, the king still saw her as a slave. She wasn't his wife or at least a person he cared about. He didn't see her as someone equal to him. She was just a weapon, breeding machine and slave, but definitely not his love.

Ymir knew that her "love" was wrong, but she couldn't escape it, because she trapped herself in the endless cycle of hatred and agony that didn't even start because of her, but because of the person she "loved". Eventually, her titan powers were passed down from generation to generation and she got nothing to do, but to obey the king's blood. She wanted to escape. She wanted someone to free her.

So...Why did he choose Mikasa for that role? As many people pointed out, Mikasa and Ymir have some similarities. Both had powers, they stayed loyal and were selfless, but...Mikasa had what Ymir didn't. Free will, freedom and love.

Mikasa stayed loyal to Eren not because she obeyed him and he forced her to do so, but simply because she loved him and it was her choice. Ymir chose Mikasa, because she is the freest person. Mikasa is an Ackerman, the bloodline that rebelled against king's ideology, and the descendant of Hizuru's shogun's clan, which had nothing to do with Ymir herself. Everything Mikasa did was purely out of her conscience and the right to choose. In this case, Eren was the one who has served as the pathway for Mikasa to free Ymir.

Ymir could see Eren and Mikasa, and I think she and Eren himself were the ones who told child Eren where Mikasa is back when she got kidnapped. Because, otherwise, Ymir wouldn't be freed and the cycle would continue to exist. But she couldn't fully free herself, because hallucigenia still existed and as we saw in ch.138, it has had mind on its own and probably needed a "host" to exist, which was Ymir and her subjects. It desperately wanted to live, but of course, since Ymir was its main "host" and got freed, it also stopped to exist.

Aside from this, Ymir wanted to witness the most unconditional love that could exist. Both Eren and Mikasa did a very noble act of sacrificing their love for the sake of change and I think this is what Ymir wanted to see.

Yes, from Ymir's side, it was very selfish and to be honest, I was also a bit disappointed to see her vanishing like this, but I guess, that was the fault from my side, because Ymir has never actively participated in the whole process of rumbling. All what she did was observing and guiding Armin and Mikasa to her. After all...everything she wanted was a selfish wish to be free and see love. It was never about repaying the debt or helping someone. Probably...that's why she needed these three selfless people to free her.