Can I Just Experience A Little Romance....... A Tiny Bit Of Love.... Maybe A Kiss.... And Holding Hands

hey at least chess drama, art, and music don't dissapoint.

my last bit of sanity is chess and music rn

yeah... ive come to the point where every media seems useless... all the things i read are either discontinued or aren't coming out with a sequel until a year or so or more... fav shows are constantly cancelled... or the actor changes and the storyline deroutes... movies... well... half the time im disappointed. and, well, books tend to not have writing or themes i like..

i think ive become spoiled:/

Why did Ymir choose Mikasa?

"Okay, maybe im just dumb and didnt get something but couldn't ymir see the end result of EM's suffering via paths, so she already knew the lesson mikasa learnt anyway?? bc it means that this all was just completely unnecessary and eren could live... is it really a plot hole or did i not understand something?"

I've received a question and would like to answer it in a separate post rather than an ask. I have been keeping this draft since ch.137, but never really could post it, because I didn't think that my points will be concrete enough. But thanks to ch.138 and 139, I finally can touch this topic again!

So...starting with Ymir. We all know that she was a slave in king Fritz’s tribe. Someday she freed pigs and the king “freed” her, but hunters ended up chasing her in the forest. She was hurt and somehow fell into a pound inside of the tree then our infamous hallucigenia attached to her spine, and she became the first titan shifter. After king discovered her power, he used her to enlarger his tribe and eventually, the tribe became an empire. King Fritz let her have his kids and continued to exploit her.

At the very end she died in pain, because she wanted to protect the king. This moment for some people was confusing, but we all supposed that it was out of plain obedience. Nothing more and nothing less.

Before, in ch.137 Zeke said that Ymir has been obeying Karl Fritz for 2000 years, but what was the reason? Zeke said that Ymir wanted to feel connected, because she was attached to the world she left behind. But...Zeke couldn't understand her. He spent a lot of time in paths trying to find the reason why she is so obedient, but still couldn't find the exact reason besides the attachment. He also mentioned that Eren could understand her, while he didn't.

As Eren said in ch.139 during his talk with Armin...Ymir was in "love" with the king. He'd burned her hometown, killed her parents, cut off her tongue, let her wander in the forest, exploited her powers, let her breed children and at the end let her daughters eat their mother's flesh...But she still "loved" him and that's why paths were created. Ymir didn't want to die nor live. She wanted to feel and see love, and be a part of it, but she couldn't get it when she was alive.

Then...how did Ymir still love him? It was the Stockholm syndrome. She simply felt attached to Karl Fritz, because he gave her a relatively better life. Yes, the king still saw her as a slave. She wasn't his wife or at least a person he cared about. He didn't see her as someone equal to him. She was just a weapon, breeding machine and slave, but definitely not his love.

Ymir knew that her "love" was wrong, but she couldn't escape it, because she trapped herself in the endless cycle of hatred and agony that didn't even start because of her, but because of the person she "loved". Eventually, her titan powers were passed down from generation to generation and she got nothing to do, but to obey the king's blood. She wanted to escape. She wanted someone to free her.

So...Why did he choose Mikasa for that role? As many people pointed out, Mikasa and Ymir have some similarities. Both had powers, they stayed loyal and were selfless, but...Mikasa had what Ymir didn't. Free will, freedom and love.

Mikasa stayed loyal to Eren not because she obeyed him and he forced her to do so, but simply because she loved him and it was her choice. Ymir chose Mikasa, because she is the freest person. Mikasa is an Ackerman, the bloodline that rebelled against king's ideology, and the descendant of Hizuru's shogun's clan, which had nothing to do with Ymir herself. Everything Mikasa did was purely out of her conscience and the right to choose. In this case, Eren was the one who has served as the pathway for Mikasa to free Ymir.

Ymir could see Eren and Mikasa, and I think she and Eren himself were the ones who told child Eren where Mikasa is back when she got kidnapped. Because, otherwise, Ymir wouldn't be freed and the cycle would continue to exist. But she couldn't fully free herself, because hallucigenia still existed and as we saw in ch.138, it has had mind on its own and probably needed a "host" to exist, which was Ymir and her subjects. It desperately wanted to live, but of course, since Ymir was its main "host" and got freed, it also stopped to exist.

Aside from this, Ymir wanted to witness the most unconditional love that could exist. Both Eren and Mikasa did a very noble act of sacrificing their love for the sake of change and I think this is what Ymir wanted to see.

Yes, from Ymir's side, it was very selfish and to be honest, I was also a bit disappointed to see her vanishing like this, but I guess, that was the fault from my side, because Ymir has never actively participated in the whole process of rumbling. All what she did was observing and guiding Armin and Mikasa to her. After all...everything she wanted was a selfish wish to be free and see love. It was never about repaying the debt or helping someone. Probably...that's why she needed these three selfless people to free her.

someone please drop sum english to bulgarian learning sources!

im in dire need....

Atrocities committed to Russian Indigenous.

seeing the neighborhood grandpa's at the market playing chess warms my heart in indescribable ways

misguided preservation | f.o

finnick odair x reader

requested by anonymous with mutual pining and “i thought you hated me” — “nah just playing around”

warnings; talks of death, no pronouns used for the reader, fluff. FINNICK DOES NOT DIE AFTER THIS FIC I REFUSE. SO THEY GET THEIR HAPPY ENDING TYVM.

word count; 1100+

a/n; first finnick fic :)

Finnick had found himself more infuriated than usual. He seemed to have anger built within him, though he did not blame himself for this. Born to a district instead of the Capitol was his only shortcoming as a child, now he made claim thousands.

But, he’d done everything he knew how to find some form of happiness, or some sense of relief. Most of his efforts were in pursuit of you. He knew you only briefly in the second games, due to the unfortunate fact that most of his attention was on Katniss. They needed her out—that was his only reason for existing in the Quarter Quell.

Now in District 13, he began to see a pleasing twinkle in your eye, a charming twitch of the lip, an enchanting beauty he’d beheld only in art. Even with their dull uniforms and strict rules, the light he found in you had not faded, and therefore his own had rekindled. He felt warmth spread over his body when he was near you, wished to tell you a secret of his own rather than someone else’s sinful secret that would tarnish your smile.

“You’re not hungry?” Finnick asked, sitting opposite you and blocking the TV behind him.

“I was distracted,” you said, looking down at your food, “But now you’re in the way so I suppose I’ll go back to eating,” you added dejectedly.

“I’m not a good enough distraction?” He asked with a sly smile.

“Not even close,” you retorted, picking up your tray and dropping it in the trash on your way out.

Visiting Katniss has become a daily routine for you, even after she left her bed and explored District 13. You found it even more important to check in with her then, for it felt as if there were many secrets in the fortress they’d built here.

Katniss fiddled with her pearl as she listened to you complain about the food, and how dull everyone in 13 was. She was not one for idle chit chat, but she appreciated your visits and enjoyed the sound of your voice even if she didn’t know what you were saying. But when she heard Finnick’s name, the pearl in her hand stopped spinning and her ears perked up.

“What was that?” She asked.

“Oh, just Finnick being his annoying self,” you rolled your eyes.

“Don’t be like that,” she said, “You like him,” she stated, having little time for flourished sentences or hearing around the bush—she preferred getting straight to the point.

“I don’t,” you shook your head, “I- I can’t.”

“There’s a difference. Which one is it?”

“I can’t like him, Katniss. We’re both as good as dead, sacrificed for the capitol or martyred for the revolution.”

“It’s not certain. Why do you think I’m trying so hard to get Peeta back?”

It felt impossible. It was by mere chance that the two of you had survived your own Games, and against the odds that you had both survived the vicious Quarter Quell. Not all of you had been so lucky, so fortunate to have been in the right place at the right time. Letting yourself love Finnick was too much of a risk for an already broken heart.

“The fact that we might not make it through this should be more reason to spend as much time with him as you can. Because if he does die, you’ll regret this for the rest of your life,” Katniss said with a shrug, returning to the black pearl in her hand.

Such a small token, yet it meant to much to her. Perhaps it was fortuitous that Peeta had discovered a black pearl, the rarest pearl on Earth. Perhaps it was not by chance at all. Either way, Katniss had a symbol for her everlasting love, and you had not even a memory.

A warning.

There were so many flights of stairs, you really had no idea just how deep they had dug into the ground. It was incredible, and you wished you were taking it all in under more favourable circumstances. The rain beat against your face, each sharp droplet stinging your skin with fear. Your feet began to ache as they stomped against the metal stairs, deeper and deeper underground, desperately searching for the bunker.

As your mind began swirl with frightening possibilities, you lost your footing on the slippery surface, and your grip on the way railing. But someone’s hands gripped you tightly and steadied you again. The hand remained on your back until you reached the bottom, ensuring your protection. And finally, when you could catch your breath and take a moment to appreciate that your life had not been taken as of yet, you turned face your protector.

“Finnick,” you breathed heavily.

He said nothing, only huffed as he fought for breath. But his eyes met yours tenderly, almost desperately, as his hands fell to his knees and rain dripped from his hair and nose.

You could hardly contain yourself.

“Finnick,” you whispered, marching towards his hunched figure, which alarmed him enough to try to stand full height.

You caught his face and pressed your lips eagerly to his, forcing every piece of you that doubted this out of your heart. Faced with your own mortality, you began to crumble and withdraw, but Katniss was right—you needed Finnick. And no matter the time you had left, you weren’t wasting another moment.

“I thought you hated me,” Finnick laughed, pulling away slowly.

“Nah, just playing around,” you said sarcastically.

He cocked an eyebrow. You wouldn’t have believed yourself either.

“I was just- I didn’t want to get too attached in case-”

“I faced an untimely death?” He grinned.

“In case I got my heart broken. But essentially, yes,” you shook your head with a disapproving laugh.

“What made you change your mind?”

“Realising I’d be heartbroken either way. And it might cushion the pain knowing I’d made the most of the time we had, if that were to happen,” you confessed, “But I don’t want to think about that.”

“No, I don’t either,” he said, leaning down towards your lips again with a little smirk.

They tasted sweeter than you could have imagined. He was more gentle than you had anticipated, more thoughtful. But his kiss was simply a dream, were you floated above the world of pain you knew and settled amongst the clouds.

“Let’s go find somewhere to rest,” he said, offering you his hand.

“Okay,” you replied, touching your skin with his, which was surprisingly warm, and following him into the bunker.

tag list | library account; @mirclesjournal